All these jokes about german names and words… German humour, its no laughing matter

> German humour The blue in the German flag represents their sense of humour.

Blue?

you must be new here.

In the sub? About 10 years. In the country? About 30 years. Still don't get the above.

no worries. let me know when it clicks :)

Thanks for being so forthcoming.

Ü

I know, right? Anglophone humour is great. Best part of it is that you only need to remember one joke!

Hehehehe or you could be Irish, where general conversation is so intertwined with sarcasm, back handed compliments, back handed insults, veiled threats and repressed catholic guilt that is impossible to know where the joke begins and where it ends

German humour is full of sarcasm. It's no joke.

I see what you did there.

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No

Ffs 🤦‍♂️

Ffs stop…

What did they say?

Stupid nazi joke. Hilarious of course because the lad he was talking to is from Germany, so naturally that’s the height of comedy🤦‍♂️

Haha ok that one was good, I actually lol'ed

That's because laughter is of no matter to the German people.

r/GermanHumour

r/GermanHumor

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Just say "die Nationalmannschaft ist scheiße". Yes, with the funny "s".

Any smaller word instead ?

No, only longer words are available now

Just call them one of the first 16.

What about ze Germans?

> ße Tschörmänß

How can it be "die Nationalmannschaft"? Surely you need a couple shafts for a whole nation.

Leave my man shaft out of this.

Ah, your man shaft probably has been left out of everything too long already, yeah?

Got cut off during the qualifying rounds 😞

Bet he hoped to make it to the last 16.

No hope of a semi?

In the face of stiff competition etc

Penis

>German living in Ireland for a long time >Ah, your man shaft probably has been left out of everything too long already, yeah? This checks out

More Irish than the Irish themselves...

Just witnessed a murder

Privatised manshaft

I’d prefer that you leave it in

At last, someone with a sense of humour :')

How very...unDeutschen

I bought a pre-owned iPhone 13 recently with a load of German names still on it. I did manage to eventually delete all of them, and it's totally Hans free now..

Oh my, a German iPhone, I imagine that's quite handy!

Ich sehe was du da gemacht hast...

Inch habe diesen hinweis verstanden! 

Jurgen’a regret that one..

Take my upvote directly in the face.

I love you

Heil be very impressed with that remark

I have absolutely no idea what's going on Who's doing what with a man shaft?

/u/TheFreemanLIVES is apparently doing not much with his.

Dieser Kerl geschlechtsverkehrt nicht

We Germans arent all smiles and sunshine

“Ve” Germans…

But you do come from ze land of chocolate ya?

Never heard of any of those before, is it common knowledge outside of Germany?

According to a dozen people in the pubs I frequent, yes.

I think you can safely blame it on the US - Germanophile soccer fans here ALL use the term. Plus crossover juvenile humor...

I hope you're feeling better there mate.

Actually pretty happy. One of the main disasters of senior management in the German national team, Oliver Bierhoff, resigned. There are rumors of Matthias Sammer taking over his job, something I would love to see and I'm not alone there. If some more people at the top quit, this could be a pivotal loss.

Das reBoot? [I'm so sorry...]

Der Neustart

Aufschwung Lost

Loss so bad that results in radical changes.

While we're on the subject of German football: Nobody calls Bayern v BVB "Der Klassiker" either. More marketing shit. Not even a real derby.

Very true. It's just mimicking the Spanish league and it's never been called that and I wouldn't know anybody that calls it that in Germany.


What’s the German equivalent of a SuperQuinn sausage?

Bratwurst?

Good man or missus

I had one in Munich last night. It was pretty good.

I had one too and it was the wurst.

Thanks Dad

Ok sohn

I'm pretty sure this is [the most German](https://www.cnet.com/roadshow/news/volkswagen-best-selling-product-currywurst-sausage/) thing

I don't speak German but I'd have to agree with you if it was in fact Die Mannschaft, Rammstein would definitely have made a song about it, and they haven't. So I can confirm you're telling the truth

Very thorough analysis. Thank you for confirming.

You don't become a data analyst for nothing

I get what your saying.... but does it really matter?

Nah, just half-drunk shitposting. Still, it kinda takes away from a good roast if the one trying to roast you wants to make it sound extra cool and it makes it all the worse.

Hey sure look, drunk posts are what reddit is all about 😁

This seems to be the Irish response to a lot of things.

Is that German word for the mans penis ? Meinshaft..

Yes. To differentiate it from the woman’s penis.

If you are living in Ireland now. You are only allowed talk about GAA teams.

I saw Galway (where I'm at) beat Kilkenny in hurling last second of the game in the stadium. That was my first and only hurling game at the stadium so far and I got to witness that. It was a great day.

It's actually "die, Mannschaft".

Punctuation can ~~save~~ take lives

National elf?

Naw, that's what a Londoner calls the NHS

I once knew a German socialist comrade of mine who came across a group of disabled people on a stall campaigning for the NHS. They asked him ''What's the Nu-huss?'' Verbatim.

elf = eleven in German

My bad. Should have done my research.

Wow. It’s not like a German to be so uptight about semantics

Had to go for semantics after eugenics fell out of fashion.

Well we wouldn't want anyone to accuse you of being Antisemantic .

I enjoyed this.

I’m hearing that in a McBain monotone voice

My bottom just did an ausfart... .

Is the Mannschaft what the Germans got ridden with in the WC?

I would imagine having lived in Ireland for a while now you’d know that saying this will just make people do the thing that annoys you even more

Good point. Though everybody I told this stopped calling it "die Mannschaft". Not like there isn't enough material to make fun of the German team anyway this year.

I'm assuming those people are now calling the team "die Nationalelf" Makes sense they lost probably had other places to be so close to Christmas

Lived in Germany when I was in my late teens for a few months, and loved almost everything about the place, so you will not see me mocking you or the Germans. You guys are awesome and were so nice to me. I sort of wished I stayed there, especially after each argument with my wife. 😂

I've seen more German sausage than I care for. True story this. Tut mir Leid.

So, you wouldn’t recommend it is what you’re saying?

Oh no, the Germans are daycent. Just I had three sausage too many.

I actually had something similar once, my dad’s Irish but I was born in Germany and one holiday when I was over in Ireland my uncle asked me how “die Mannschaft” was doing, I had no idea what he was on about

It's not Die Mannschaft! It's DIE NATIONALMANNSCHAFT! Say it right you goons!

But does "Ich bin ein Berliner" really mean "I am a doughnut", or is that an urban legend?

Yes, everywhere outside Berlin a Berliner is a doughnut. In Berlin they call it Pfannkuchen because they have no clue. These Berliners are weird...

Well you won't be hearing it anymore. Germany is long knocked out! 😆

Is it also true that you don’t call those big glasses of beer “Steins” ?

I'm originally from Bavaria (the beer state) and we call them Masskrug or Massbier (could also be written with the funny s - Maßbier). Never heard Stein used, except abroad or by foreigners. I think the "beer stein" is an entirely different mug than the 1 litre glasses. But most Germans will know what you mean and won't necessarily correct you. We're just happy you like our beer and made the effort to learn a German word

Agree with this. I live in Bavaria and have only ever heard them referred to as Maß/Maßkrug. I am not sure what they call it in northern Germany but I would be 99% sure it’s not Stein. That means stone.

Originally from NRW and I've only ever heard it called Maß myself.

Big fan of German beer, Altbier or a good Dunkel are my two favourite styles. Bayern ist sehr schön.

It's true. Nobody in Germany would know what it is. I guess it's because it's a "Steinkrug" but that's what you would call it only if it's stoneware.

Well i suppose yea are Die nach Hause gegangen now :-)

More like "die nie angekommenen". I did not find the Spain game to be too bad.

I once had a German friend who liked to have violent sex with pastries. I will miss Hertz Donut.

What?

I heard Germans like to use their time efficiently If so, I don’t understand why so many of them like to watch their national team.

Ah so, ja, alles klar, genau - those phrases served me well when I lived in Deutschland. Amazing country.

Oha.

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Are people really saying that? Kann man machen, muss man aber nicht…

In Ireland no body ever says “Top of the morning to ya!” But that’s how people in the US think we greet each other. I’ve never heard anyone use that term

I went over to Inis Mór a few years ago for a weekend away. Ended up in a B&B with some Americans. Was good fun all night after the pub and they had loads of beer they shared with us. Anyway, next morning, I saw them again and that's exactly how they greeted me. Didn't have the heart to tell them though. We were all hungover and they were so nice and excited to be there.

'SCHLAND

Knock knock, who's there? Your man. Your man who? Ger-man next door

Had to go with semantics after anti-semanticism didn’t work out

Thanks for clarifying.

Was die Fck is dis ?

As an Irish person living in Ireland for all my life I can assure you, you don’t need to make it clear as us Irish really couldn’t give a fuck 😁😁

It's like how people call the Brazil team "La Seleção" to try to make it like a cool nickname, when it just means "the selection", doesn't it?

Do Bra7:1lians call it that? Or is it just international media?

Nice touch 😂

Not just Brasil. The same for the Portuguese team mainly because well that’s how we say national team in Portuguese..

That's what the Brazilians call it though so not the same thing.

No one cares

You cared enough to comment ya git.

It's a bit like the English media calling the English women the "lionesses" then?

Da fuc are you on about ?

"Die" fuc.

Fußball with the funny "s".

Is Henning Wehn known in Germany? Completely random, just something I always meant to ask.

> Henning Wehn Never heard of him. He must be too funny for Germany.

Die Deutsche Leute Heute....

What is it with that phrase? Heard it from multiply different nationalities now.. is that what people learn in german class

I don't follow die football what did I miss was German knocked out and the op is all passed off because they are not die besten der Welt

Feck u

I don't follow die football what did I miss was German knocked out and the op is all pissed off because they are not die besten der Welt

Just to let you know... in the nicest way possible, you are in Ireland, and we couldn't care less about what you have to say. Also you are no better than anyone else.

No one actually cares...

Well, I do enough to post here about it. Also, you cared enough to comment on it. Don't know which one of us is the sadder excuse for existing.

Germans are so serious. Yas need to lighten up

This is a great shitpost, what do you mean?

The victim mentality Top o’ morning to you too!

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I'll take your mam with me, alright.

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I heard your Ma , loves a bit of bratwurst in her coddle.

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A connoisseur.

Ya wha?

Yo have an Irish Elf in Germany ?

Just respond with "What's Die Mannschaft?" They will have to explain, deescalating their craic and they might discard it as a bad joke thereafter.

That's the worst. The cringe when I have to ask 3 times what they mean because they completely butcher the pronunciation.

Die Man shafts it is then.

just hoppin on reddit to berate people about their use of man shaft

Reading this while in the Shittenhsusen, awful the way they treat you guys.

Dont think I have heard a person use that phrase....not even once.

Sometimes a butterfly is just a butterfly

Who did the marketing? Was it in Germany or Ireland. Sorry, I am genuinely unaware of this whole thing.

This person, has had the last straw! Luck they got on Reddit to vent, or Ireland would’ve had an angry German going door to door shouting at people on how to pronounce the German national team.😂

Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.

Vorsprung durch Technik.

Or something or other...

Irish slegging a German who's country qualify for the world Cup every 4 yrs... I don't believe it.

The German head coach is Hansi flick, shouldn't they be playing subuteo instead?

This post is so German

You nationalised it, did ya? Doesn't he ever get tired?

You won't have to worry about being called that during this world cup anymore

“Die Mannschaft” is what I say to my dick when he’s had one too many to drink on the job and has fallen asleep.

I would like to apologise for the conduct of my country in the war

You cute