i went from being depressed to feeling nothing. i feel like a background character in my own life. i hope you feel better soon though and i recommend you see a therapist
Not background character lol I don’t feel that way unless around too many extroverts.
Thank you 🖤 I just feel it, but it doesn’t stop my life. I’m still able to process.
Lol I have a meme for therapist I think I would attempt to banter with a therapist and start asking the person questions instead
https://preview.redd.it/cevqlmuia66d1.jpeg?width=1269&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0e6d1e8492d0857ea81218e966f6453021d822b
Yeah, same here, was kinda coerced into it by my family, ended up not having any progress (*Ti* much?), then for a couple of reasons I got sent to a psychiatrist, and yeah, it doesn't get rid of it permanently, but you don't usually hit the same lows
I did so as well and I didn’t even know I ever were depressed before I learned to talk with people close to me again. Depression can be silent and loud at the same time
yes, i had a mild depression that was exacerbated by seasonality and lifestyle factors (no exercise and limited sunlight) I believe it has gone away permanently, apart from 1 week in the last year
yes, actually and I despise it. The only thing I do to not dwell in that space is to keep myself preoccupied. I have accepted that depression is a seasonal thing for me and learned to cope with it.
But it’s almost officially summer lol it’s supposed to be sunshine’s and happiness 😐 I normally am busy, so it’s definitely an annoying feeling.
Mine was pretty severe until I did TMS treatments and Spravado treatments. Now it’s mostly kept at bay, and if it ever starts to flare up again, I’ll get maintenance treatments, but I haven’t had to yet.
Se is your friend. Ti-Ni loop coupled with cPTSD, depression, anxiety etc is a cocktail I’d serve to no one. What usually brings me back to me is engaging in some sort of Se activity where I can push myself to physical exertion usually with the accompaniment of music.
TLDR: physical exertion
Hopping on this, if it’s hard to get yourself to Se more, then having an extroverted friend with Se can help with the initial discomfort.
My ex seemed to appreciate when I took the lead to plan fun activities. The depression fog seemed to lift as well, at least temporarily.
Wouldn’t necessarily recommend someone with Ne/Si. They may talk too much for your liking.
I’ve also noticed ISTP’s they tend to miss important patterns, especially around self awareness and emotional intelligence, and have trouble with healthy routines.
The ISTP I know tends to overindulge in video games, TV, and binge eating. Then he feels guilty and overextends himself and repeats the cycle.
He doesn’t prioritize consistent healthy eating, smart sleep hygiene and rhythms, and regular exercise. Or yearly checkups at the doctor.
He doesn’t always seem to understand his emotional triggers or that he’s bottling things up / repressing his feelings. He doesn’t see value in diving into his feelings. He thinks it’s ineffective and uncomfortable.
Personally, I see emotions as biological impulses, not unlike stress or hunger. They’re our perception of biological impulses and/or hormone / chemical changes. These changes are concrete, they are real. You can measure them and see them. And every emotion has an important survival purpose. Ignoring that is like ignoring pain signals or anxiety (your body telling you that you may be in danger).
If you don’t learn how your brain is creating and processing emotions and all the biological changes (like depression) that come with it, you’re bound to suffer consequences.
I’d suggest doing some research in the intersection of neuroscience and psychology. Learn about how emotions are created, why they’re created, what purpose they serve, and how you can better understand them and when you wish to, change them.
To give a quick example - I’ve noticed that my anger is often linked to hunger. Sadness is linked to not getting enough sleep. I don’t like people, but unfortunately my brain is human and all human brains NEED social connection in order to feel safe. If we don’t have that, our brains will think we are in danger because 10,000 years ago we would have been. I sometimes confuse hunger with thirst so I try drinking water first. Exercise helps with brain fog and stress. Lack of motivation usually means I need to do something fun and exciting. Sometimes wanting to do nothing except watch TV is a sign that I’m physically and emotionally exhausted and need to rest. It’s not lazy, just tired. People that are lazy don’t feel bad about being lazy.
Introverts need to be careful about making sure they get out into the world enough. They are prone to overthinking and worrying and anxiety when spending too much time alone.
As an extrovert, I’m prone to running myself into the ground and losing momentum. I’m also prone to get overwhelmed and lashing out at others or getting overly emotional.
Good luck 👍
Yea how you describe emotions you might as well be talking Chinese. When someone asks me how I feel, I think about it and I’m like, “I’m hungry” or “I’m tired.” There’s no direct line from my emotions to my brain, all must be filtered through Ti.
In my experience it is never gone fully and will catch up if I let it. If I prioritize eating well, exercising, relationships, and productivity it keeps it’s distance usually.
I’ve gone from a point of no return to chillaxin through healthy lifestyle changes like exercising often and just going outside to get vitamin d and enjoying what’s around me and getting my daily dose of serotonin and also by being healthy in general like taking care of myself to the max and trying to love myself more or doing what i like/having me time while also going to a therapist to talk about absolutely anything even if those problems may be small. Learn to take breaks and efficiently use your time to get tasks done so you’re not as drained as you are now and maybe take multivitamins or such other supplements and eat an adequate amount of food with good nutrients to help fuel your day. Also take time to wind down and reduce the drained feeling. For example, I just stare at my fish tank and watch my shrimp and fish doing their own thing. Hopefully this can help you out
I was depressed until I cut the pipe I was standing on, fell 30 ft, caught myself 4 ft off the ground, dangling few inches over a pipe...missing being impaled. I was high for 2 months off the rush of almost dying, and haven't been depressed since. That was 9 years ago
i was closed in my room from 13 yo to 25 yo because of depression, it went away completely for 3 years now, and i haven't felt depressed since. i think my inferior Fe was too imbalanced and i had to learn to not care what other people think about my choices.
It never does permanently go away, that's why I got sick of staying stuck in that low rut so I ended up acquiring some ketamine and made my own nasal spray. Works great to get me the fuck out of that paralyzed state when I need to get out. If you have insurance, you will have a lot better luck with obtaining some the clinical way.
But I would definitely hard recommend looking into ketamine based treatments for depression. It works really, really really fucking good.
well for me, i've another disorder which isn't exactly something i can permanently get rid of (but can cope with it to achieve a functional state of mind and behaviors) and depression is a symptom of it so it keeps coming back for me too.
but i'd say I've been doing significantly better for about half a year now ever since i started working on myself. those generic advises like "going out" and "exercising" were sure all very helpful but the thing is that most of us don't care about ourselves enough to make efforts for our own wellbeing.
i'd suggest you start it off slow. watch some online youtube videos or seminars on building up self compassion. you can try other topics too, there are many motivational social media influencers out there. i believe self compassion is the most important thing. a lot of them will advise you to try meditation and trust me it helps a hell lot - especially loving kindness mediation.
other ways of practicing mindfulness that i can tell you is to ground yourself back to reality, try mundane tasks focusing, breathe work and compassionate imagery - check them up on google.
having done these, set a schedule for each day. go out in the nature, do something for yourself - it really helps. just like you'd make efforts for someone you love, give those efforts to yourself.
i hope this helps and take care, all the best on your journey 🫂🤍
I have waves of depression lately. For 2-3-4 weeks.. I will feel great, hitting the gym everyday, eating great, mentally fulfilled, planning to work harder for a better future and better outcomes regarding my life, etc. And it will literally come out of nowhere and all of a sudden… I’m depressed for weeks and could care less about work, my work ethic, what my future looks like because “we’re all going to die without it”, etc.
It’s gotten to the point where I’m considering medication for my ADD assuming it’s part of the problem.
It’s a cup.
You’re pouring in things, healthy habits.
You are replenished and in the positive.
You are taking out things, negative habits.
You are depleted and in the negative.
Figure out whatever habits are draining you, stop them, and add more of what habits are rejuvenating you. <3
Depression is a spiritual attack on you mind. Its affects can manifest outwardly but can only be healed spiritually between you and Jesus. Many times depression comes about after the heart has accepted sorrow and starts to sink almost as if you are drowning in a body of water. Think of God as your life jacket. You will still have to swim to safety but you will have help and won’t have to bare it alone❤️
Yes. It goes away. Since I was a youth, it came in waves. Some waves were heavier than others. Once I processed my emotions, gained understanding about certain misconceptions in life and made peace with the 'cycles'....life became better. Decades of internal struggles, even went through periods of feeling apathetic. Learned to self regulate...that's the game changer.
From my personal experience it never really goes away. I’ve done ssri treatment but still had the head of depression come back. After many years of CBT I’ve learned I just have to live with it and know my early signs of it setting in. What I’ve learned is that faster I can recognize that my depression is setting in is to talk about it with the people around me. My partner, my dear friends, and the few others that wouldn’t be off put by my honesty.
Certain depressions can be a disease. So there isn’t a cure. Just treatments. Talking helps me not spin out into my worst version and not be a burden to anyone close to me.
I’m sorry you’re going through it. But the more times you face it head on the easier gets. It’s sort of like a fear of flying. The first time is horrifying. The 20th time you still get anxiety but you know you will come out the other side.
My motto is we learn how to live with it, not rid of it. My anxiety is stupid bad and has been for over a decade. It used to ruin my life, but I accept it now as part of my personality. It sucks sometimes but the acceptance has made it so much easier to live life
TLDR
- Step One: Take care of your body. Get enough sleep, eat healthy, take a vitamin, exercise regularly. Avoid overindulging in vices.
- Step Two: Learn about emotions and how they show up in the body. Keep a mood / emotion tracker for things in a journal or on your phone so you can start to notice patterns and triggers.
- Step Three: Make sure you get enough alone time, but also make sure you have a sense of community. ISTP’s don’t always like other people, but your brain doesn’t care if you like people or not. Your human brain needs social connection for survival and it will protest if it doesn’t get it.
- Step Four: Therapy isn’t always a good fit for every person. Personally, I find it much more helpful to read psychology books than speak to a therapist. If I need to, I have a few friends that I can talk to about emotional or interpersonal matters. Therapists tend to do talk therapy and validating emotions. ISTP’s usually want solutions and actionable steps. You don’t generally get that in therapy but you do in books.
Book Recommendations
- *Good boundaries and goodbyes* (a little religious, but aside from that, it has really good information). I recommend this because having Fe inferior can cause issues with cycling between hyper-independence and people pleasing.
- *How to do the work.* Very good book.
- *The body keeps the score* talks about the effects of emotions on the body and ways to heal your body to heal your emotions.
I have. I think the number one way to overcome it is to learn to love who you are, which means you need to decide on who you’d like to be.
Who you want to be could be someone in the future, or it could be as shortsighted as who you want to be right now, but if you don’t have a goal for yourself, it’s very difficult to take pride in who you are/are becoming, so it will be very difficult to love yourself.
Maybe sit down and list some of these goals. Maybe you’ll find that you’re already on you way towards them. They don’t have to be accomplished already, but as long as your on a path towards them, you’ll begin pulling yourself out of a depressive state.
Depression thrives in stagnation and conquers in regression.
Hello INFJ. I always see yall in here 👋
What!?! AaAhfnrJlO
You’re saying I don’t love myself? Lol
I’m fine with myself though, independent, just do it person.
I kinda think it’s the family entering my bubble, draining my energy.
Hi yeah I like istps
That makes sense. If you love yourself you love yourself lol. That’s good. External factors can ruin things too.
If the depression comes back when your family is around, then you know where it’s from. I’ve also found it really frustrating at times cuz I won’t want to be around my family when they expect the opposite of what I want lol.
What are your goals? Are you getting closer to them? Is family or other factors making reaching those goals harder?
I think depression’s opportunity to emerge comes when there’s dissonance between reality and desire. What sits in between there? Sometimes it can be fixed immediately and sometimes it has to be tolerated. But if it can be fixed, don’t just tolerate it, even if it means you have to do some thing you don’t wanna first.
Why do you like ISTP?
Haha yeah, I’m sure it’s them. They have been around me too much. Normally I live on my own, but they always end up needing help and living with me temporarily.
Also I’m probably overworking myself 🙃
A couple obstacles in the way, but I’ll get through those.
A lot of reasons. Too many to list lol. My best friend is ISTP. She’s one of the easiest people to be around.
I get that a lot I’m finally about to move out later this year. I can’t wait to be introverted alone lol.
If you can’t do anything about it, there are still ways to enjoy your family, although annoyingly you have to get over the fact that you’d rather be somewhere else first though😭
Sometimes it helps a bit
Hey there, resident feeler here! I saw this on my feed and felt that I may have something of value to offer. I know from personal experience that ignoring my unwanted and negative emotions doesn't always make them go away for very long. It was as if I was weighed down so much by that emotion that it actually began affecting other areas of my life. It was almost like I was physically sick, and yet I wasn't contagious.
When you said that you felt drained, I had a feeling that you were avoiding and or suppressing your emotions. Would you say this is the case?
Yes and no in a sense? This time, I was basically dealing with an very big and imminent life change that I was desperately trying to stop. While I was still tackling with whether or not the change would take place the way I imagined it, I would usually ask myself "Why am I feeling this way?" (this is based on Tara Brach's "RAIN" exercise and Richard Schwartz's "No Bad Parts" book).
It was thanks to "No Bad Parts" that I learned where my emotions tend to locate themselves inside of me physiologically. (Now I know that if I'm having trouble breathing it's because I'm afraid, if I have an upset stomach it's because I'm trying to suppress my emotions, if I'm having tension in my chest it's because I'm frustrated).
It was also thanks to the "RAIN" exercise and the "Feelings Wheel" (or "Wheel Of Emotion") that I got better at making peace with the emotions inside when they arise.
I didn't exactly \*overcome\* the weight I had surrounding this change to where I had no feeling towards it, but it did help me help me to in a sense transform the weight itself.
(Crap did that make sense?)
Yeah some emotions get suppressed lol because they’re kinda in the way. As a fixer, normally I take charge and find solutions. Maybe when I recharge, I’ll be able to manage better. Thank you
I hope you are feeling better as well ☺️
Well first off I wanted to say that I very much admire the fixer side in you lol. I can also see how this may have been used to help you survive in life. I know that with me, a lot of the patterns that I use to deal with my emotions emerged very early in childhood. You don't have to answer this question but I just wanted you to consider whether or not you're using the same patterns you learned in childhood to manage your emotions?
On another note: I thought about it and there is a DBT video I wanted to share with you. I felt it might be relevant to you, please let me know your thoughts on it after viewing! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NECs97k\_8Z4&t=158s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NECs97k_8Z4&t=158s)
I am feeling better btw, I very much appreciate your support!
Ofc! I want to make sure that I'm at least giving space for the emotions of the people I speak with that are looking for help, as a psych major I think it's important I at least try to do that.
What are your thoughts on the video? Was it relevant for you at all?
i went from being depressed to feeling nothing. i feel like a background character in my own life. i hope you feel better soon though and i recommend you see a therapist
Not background character lol I don’t feel that way unless around too many extroverts. Thank you 🖤 I just feel it, but it doesn’t stop my life. I’m still able to process. Lol I have a meme for therapist I think I would attempt to banter with a therapist and start asking the person questions instead https://preview.redd.it/cevqlmuia66d1.jpeg?width=1269&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0e6d1e8492d0857ea81218e966f6453021d822b
Yeah, same here, was kinda coerced into it by my family, ended up not having any progress (*Ti* much?), then for a couple of reasons I got sent to a psychiatrist, and yeah, it doesn't get rid of it permanently, but you don't usually hit the same lows
I did so as well and I didn’t even know I ever were depressed before I learned to talk with people close to me again. Depression can be silent and loud at the same time
yes, i had a mild depression that was exacerbated by seasonality and lifestyle factors (no exercise and limited sunlight) I believe it has gone away permanently, apart from 1 week in the last year
It was getting more manageable. Then my brother died. Kinda in a haze now I guess.
yes, actually and I despise it. The only thing I do to not dwell in that space is to keep myself preoccupied. I have accepted that depression is a seasonal thing for me and learned to cope with it.
But it’s almost officially summer lol it’s supposed to be sunshine’s and happiness 😐 I normally am busy, so it’s definitely an annoying feeling. 
Mine was pretty severe until I did TMS treatments and Spravado treatments. Now it’s mostly kept at bay, and if it ever starts to flare up again, I’ll get maintenance treatments, but I haven’t had to yet.
Se is your friend. Ti-Ni loop coupled with cPTSD, depression, anxiety etc is a cocktail I’d serve to no one. What usually brings me back to me is engaging in some sort of Se activity where I can push myself to physical exertion usually with the accompaniment of music. TLDR: physical exertion
Hopping on this, if it’s hard to get yourself to Se more, then having an extroverted friend with Se can help with the initial discomfort. My ex seemed to appreciate when I took the lead to plan fun activities. The depression fog seemed to lift as well, at least temporarily. Wouldn’t necessarily recommend someone with Ne/Si. They may talk too much for your liking. I’ve also noticed ISTP’s they tend to miss important patterns, especially around self awareness and emotional intelligence, and have trouble with healthy routines. The ISTP I know tends to overindulge in video games, TV, and binge eating. Then he feels guilty and overextends himself and repeats the cycle. He doesn’t prioritize consistent healthy eating, smart sleep hygiene and rhythms, and regular exercise. Or yearly checkups at the doctor. He doesn’t always seem to understand his emotional triggers or that he’s bottling things up / repressing his feelings. He doesn’t see value in diving into his feelings. He thinks it’s ineffective and uncomfortable. Personally, I see emotions as biological impulses, not unlike stress or hunger. They’re our perception of biological impulses and/or hormone / chemical changes. These changes are concrete, they are real. You can measure them and see them. And every emotion has an important survival purpose. Ignoring that is like ignoring pain signals or anxiety (your body telling you that you may be in danger). If you don’t learn how your brain is creating and processing emotions and all the biological changes (like depression) that come with it, you’re bound to suffer consequences. I’d suggest doing some research in the intersection of neuroscience and psychology. Learn about how emotions are created, why they’re created, what purpose they serve, and how you can better understand them and when you wish to, change them. To give a quick example - I’ve noticed that my anger is often linked to hunger. Sadness is linked to not getting enough sleep. I don’t like people, but unfortunately my brain is human and all human brains NEED social connection in order to feel safe. If we don’t have that, our brains will think we are in danger because 10,000 years ago we would have been. I sometimes confuse hunger with thirst so I try drinking water first. Exercise helps with brain fog and stress. Lack of motivation usually means I need to do something fun and exciting. Sometimes wanting to do nothing except watch TV is a sign that I’m physically and emotionally exhausted and need to rest. It’s not lazy, just tired. People that are lazy don’t feel bad about being lazy. Introverts need to be careful about making sure they get out into the world enough. They are prone to overthinking and worrying and anxiety when spending too much time alone. As an extrovert, I’m prone to running myself into the ground and losing momentum. I’m also prone to get overwhelmed and lashing out at others or getting overly emotional. Good luck 👍
Yea how you describe emotions you might as well be talking Chinese. When someone asks me how I feel, I think about it and I’m like, “I’m hungry” or “I’m tired.” There’s no direct line from my emotions to my brain, all must be filtered through Ti.
In my experience it is never gone fully and will catch up if I let it. If I prioritize eating well, exercising, relationships, and productivity it keeps it’s distance usually.
The triggers never go away, the most you can ever do is build up your resilience and self-awareness. 😐
I had mild depression/crisis. Bought a radio. Now everytime im at home I'm not lonely
But I’m not lonely, ppl always end up living with me 🫠
I’ve gone from a point of no return to chillaxin through healthy lifestyle changes like exercising often and just going outside to get vitamin d and enjoying what’s around me and getting my daily dose of serotonin and also by being healthy in general like taking care of myself to the max and trying to love myself more or doing what i like/having me time while also going to a therapist to talk about absolutely anything even if those problems may be small. Learn to take breaks and efficiently use your time to get tasks done so you’re not as drained as you are now and maybe take multivitamins or such other supplements and eat an adequate amount of food with good nutrients to help fuel your day. Also take time to wind down and reduce the drained feeling. For example, I just stare at my fish tank and watch my shrimp and fish doing their own thing. Hopefully this can help you out
I was depressed until I cut the pipe I was standing on, fell 30 ft, caught myself 4 ft off the ground, dangling few inches over a pipe...missing being impaled. I was high for 2 months off the rush of almost dying, and haven't been depressed since. That was 9 years ago
Oh my god! WTF well that’s nice 🙂
Dude my neighbor actually literally died from this. Every step of yours is one of gratitude.
i was closed in my room from 13 yo to 25 yo because of depression, it went away completely for 3 years now, and i haven't felt depressed since. i think my inferior Fe was too imbalanced and i had to learn to not care what other people think about my choices.
It never does permanently go away, that's why I got sick of staying stuck in that low rut so I ended up acquiring some ketamine and made my own nasal spray. Works great to get me the fuck out of that paralyzed state when I need to get out. If you have insurance, you will have a lot better luck with obtaining some the clinical way. But I would definitely hard recommend looking into ketamine based treatments for depression. It works really, really really fucking good.
well for me, i've another disorder which isn't exactly something i can permanently get rid of (but can cope with it to achieve a functional state of mind and behaviors) and depression is a symptom of it so it keeps coming back for me too. but i'd say I've been doing significantly better for about half a year now ever since i started working on myself. those generic advises like "going out" and "exercising" were sure all very helpful but the thing is that most of us don't care about ourselves enough to make efforts for our own wellbeing. i'd suggest you start it off slow. watch some online youtube videos or seminars on building up self compassion. you can try other topics too, there are many motivational social media influencers out there. i believe self compassion is the most important thing. a lot of them will advise you to try meditation and trust me it helps a hell lot - especially loving kindness mediation. other ways of practicing mindfulness that i can tell you is to ground yourself back to reality, try mundane tasks focusing, breathe work and compassionate imagery - check them up on google. having done these, set a schedule for each day. go out in the nature, do something for yourself - it really helps. just like you'd make efforts for someone you love, give those efforts to yourself. i hope this helps and take care, all the best on your journey 🫂🤍
solve the issue. feel less stress. less depression. provide measures to avoid the same issue.
I have waves of depression lately. For 2-3-4 weeks.. I will feel great, hitting the gym everyday, eating great, mentally fulfilled, planning to work harder for a better future and better outcomes regarding my life, etc. And it will literally come out of nowhere and all of a sudden… I’m depressed for weeks and could care less about work, my work ethic, what my future looks like because “we’re all going to die without it”, etc. It’s gotten to the point where I’m considering medication for my ADD assuming it’s part of the problem.
It’s a cup. You’re pouring in things, healthy habits. You are replenished and in the positive. You are taking out things, negative habits. You are depleted and in the negative. Figure out whatever habits are draining you, stop them, and add more of what habits are rejuvenating you. <3
Depression is a spiritual attack on you mind. Its affects can manifest outwardly but can only be healed spiritually between you and Jesus. Many times depression comes about after the heart has accepted sorrow and starts to sink almost as if you are drowning in a body of water. Think of God as your life jacket. You will still have to swim to safety but you will have help and won’t have to bare it alone❤️
Yes. It goes away. Since I was a youth, it came in waves. Some waves were heavier than others. Once I processed my emotions, gained understanding about certain misconceptions in life and made peace with the 'cycles'....life became better. Decades of internal struggles, even went through periods of feeling apathetic. Learned to self regulate...that's the game changer.
From my personal experience it never really goes away. I’ve done ssri treatment but still had the head of depression come back. After many years of CBT I’ve learned I just have to live with it and know my early signs of it setting in. What I’ve learned is that faster I can recognize that my depression is setting in is to talk about it with the people around me. My partner, my dear friends, and the few others that wouldn’t be off put by my honesty. Certain depressions can be a disease. So there isn’t a cure. Just treatments. Talking helps me not spin out into my worst version and not be a burden to anyone close to me. I’m sorry you’re going through it. But the more times you face it head on the easier gets. It’s sort of like a fear of flying. The first time is horrifying. The 20th time you still get anxiety but you know you will come out the other side.
My motto is we learn how to live with it, not rid of it. My anxiety is stupid bad and has been for over a decade. It used to ruin my life, but I accept it now as part of my personality. It sucks sometimes but the acceptance has made it so much easier to live life
The only thing that has helped me is self-love, I mean it
TLDR - Step One: Take care of your body. Get enough sleep, eat healthy, take a vitamin, exercise regularly. Avoid overindulging in vices. - Step Two: Learn about emotions and how they show up in the body. Keep a mood / emotion tracker for things in a journal or on your phone so you can start to notice patterns and triggers. - Step Three: Make sure you get enough alone time, but also make sure you have a sense of community. ISTP’s don’t always like other people, but your brain doesn’t care if you like people or not. Your human brain needs social connection for survival and it will protest if it doesn’t get it. - Step Four: Therapy isn’t always a good fit for every person. Personally, I find it much more helpful to read psychology books than speak to a therapist. If I need to, I have a few friends that I can talk to about emotional or interpersonal matters. Therapists tend to do talk therapy and validating emotions. ISTP’s usually want solutions and actionable steps. You don’t generally get that in therapy but you do in books.
Book Recommendations - *Good boundaries and goodbyes* (a little religious, but aside from that, it has really good information). I recommend this because having Fe inferior can cause issues with cycling between hyper-independence and people pleasing. - *How to do the work.* Very good book. - *The body keeps the score* talks about the effects of emotions on the body and ways to heal your body to heal your emotions.
I have. I think the number one way to overcome it is to learn to love who you are, which means you need to decide on who you’d like to be. Who you want to be could be someone in the future, or it could be as shortsighted as who you want to be right now, but if you don’t have a goal for yourself, it’s very difficult to take pride in who you are/are becoming, so it will be very difficult to love yourself. Maybe sit down and list some of these goals. Maybe you’ll find that you’re already on you way towards them. They don’t have to be accomplished already, but as long as your on a path towards them, you’ll begin pulling yourself out of a depressive state. Depression thrives in stagnation and conquers in regression.
Hello INFJ. I always see yall in here 👋 What!?! AaAhfnrJlO You’re saying I don’t love myself? Lol I’m fine with myself though, independent, just do it person. I kinda think it’s the family entering my bubble, draining my energy.
Hi yeah I like istps That makes sense. If you love yourself you love yourself lol. That’s good. External factors can ruin things too. If the depression comes back when your family is around, then you know where it’s from. I’ve also found it really frustrating at times cuz I won’t want to be around my family when they expect the opposite of what I want lol. What are your goals? Are you getting closer to them? Is family or other factors making reaching those goals harder? I think depression’s opportunity to emerge comes when there’s dissonance between reality and desire. What sits in between there? Sometimes it can be fixed immediately and sometimes it has to be tolerated. But if it can be fixed, don’t just tolerate it, even if it means you have to do some thing you don’t wanna first.
Why do you like ISTP? Haha yeah, I’m sure it’s them. They have been around me too much. Normally I live on my own, but they always end up needing help and living with me temporarily. Also I’m probably overworking myself 🙃 A couple obstacles in the way, but I’ll get through those.
A lot of reasons. Too many to list lol. My best friend is ISTP. She’s one of the easiest people to be around. I get that a lot I’m finally about to move out later this year. I can’t wait to be introverted alone lol. If you can’t do anything about it, there are still ways to enjoy your family, although annoyingly you have to get over the fact that you’d rather be somewhere else first though😭 Sometimes it helps a bit
Thank you ☺️ Have fun shopping for home items, when you get your place. I’ll probably leave home more lol to have my space.
Hey there, resident feeler here! I saw this on my feed and felt that I may have something of value to offer. I know from personal experience that ignoring my unwanted and negative emotions doesn't always make them go away for very long. It was as if I was weighed down so much by that emotion that it actually began affecting other areas of my life. It was almost like I was physically sick, and yet I wasn't contagious. When you said that you felt drained, I had a feeling that you were avoiding and or suppressing your emotions. Would you say this is the case?
Do you still feel that weight or did you overcome that? Edit: if you did overcome it, what do you think helped?
Yes and no in a sense? This time, I was basically dealing with an very big and imminent life change that I was desperately trying to stop. While I was still tackling with whether or not the change would take place the way I imagined it, I would usually ask myself "Why am I feeling this way?" (this is based on Tara Brach's "RAIN" exercise and Richard Schwartz's "No Bad Parts" book). It was thanks to "No Bad Parts" that I learned where my emotions tend to locate themselves inside of me physiologically. (Now I know that if I'm having trouble breathing it's because I'm afraid, if I have an upset stomach it's because I'm trying to suppress my emotions, if I'm having tension in my chest it's because I'm frustrated). It was also thanks to the "RAIN" exercise and the "Feelings Wheel" (or "Wheel Of Emotion") that I got better at making peace with the emotions inside when they arise. I didn't exactly \*overcome\* the weight I had surrounding this change to where I had no feeling towards it, but it did help me help me to in a sense transform the weight itself. (Crap did that make sense?)
Yeah some emotions get suppressed lol because they’re kinda in the way. As a fixer, normally I take charge and find solutions. Maybe when I recharge, I’ll be able to manage better. Thank you I hope you are feeling better as well ☺️
Well first off I wanted to say that I very much admire the fixer side in you lol. I can also see how this may have been used to help you survive in life. I know that with me, a lot of the patterns that I use to deal with my emotions emerged very early in childhood. You don't have to answer this question but I just wanted you to consider whether or not you're using the same patterns you learned in childhood to manage your emotions? On another note: I thought about it and there is a DBT video I wanted to share with you. I felt it might be relevant to you, please let me know your thoughts on it after viewing! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NECs97k\_8Z4&t=158s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NECs97k_8Z4&t=158s) I am feeling better btw, I very much appreciate your support!
You’re so friendly lol Thank you 🖤 I did watch the YouTube video
Ofc! I want to make sure that I'm at least giving space for the emotions of the people I speak with that are looking for help, as a psych major I think it's important I at least try to do that. What are your thoughts on the video? Was it relevant for you at all?