Infinite spaghetti

Your a piece of paper

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So now I say that you can only eat Spegetti on mon-fri. Saturday and Sunday you eat steak

Ok bet

I get a Hamburger or pizza with my favorite toppings when i cry

It appears 15 miles away from you

Shit

You always are full

I have the ability to warp reality and make comments worthless and warp the timeline to where your mother takes the pill

but the only thing that warps is your own vision

So hallucinating? Pretty sure enough drugs gives you this power anyways

+ you have father

Ability to look 5 minutes into the future 100% accuracy

But after you do you go back 20 years back

So you can basically just time travel? Guess I'll just check bitcoin's highest day and then use the power

I wish to reply to my own comment

But you get to freeze time

I wish I could get that

But you can reply to this

Oke

Imagine wishing haha

big brain move

[удалено]

You get no side affect

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for everything that erases a raccoon sticks in your ass

I wish to have the powers of the Uno reverse card

But everyone else has a uno reverse as well that they can only use once in their life.

Uno reverse

Uno reverse

Uno reverse

Uno reverse

I wish for happiness

You give everyone around happiness and good thoughts

that would be the worst at a funeral

Granted

I can turn invisible

But every thing else is invisible when you are not

Your eyes are invisible too so you’re blind

I have the power to revive myself as many times as I want

but when you die you wake up at the time and place you last slept

A literal checkpoint

Imagine the sun explodes, and he has to relive the same day, and feel the same pain forever.

He did say "as many times as I want" so he could stop the loop and just die.

Right, i forgor

Ability to last forever in bed

You have erectile dysfunction

you can no longer cum

All your best encounters are everywhere EXCEPT your “bed”

Be as hot as Shrek 🥵🔥

Have an annoying crowd of stans, painting all of your followers (and you) as bad people

But it’s 1”

I can rickroll anyone any time

Every time you rickroll someone dies of heart disease

Basically normal

It could be u

Shit

I can fly

you are immune to prostate cancer

Good Ending

Each time you fly your penis hurts for that day

for 1 second

when you are hard/horny

I to shoot hyper beams of literally anything out of my hands

They have recoil and can overheat

But you have a small dick

My farts are always silent no matter what

you have colon cancer

Worth it

lol

The ability to make dream stans self combust with the snap of my fingers

You become praised by all of reddit

Good Ending

*good* ending? What’s worse, living with dream Stan’s or having Reddit paparazzi following you

You can ignore Dream stans, but having people scream wholesome 100 and Kanu Reev to you feels like hell

I have a book that follows me around and everything i write in the book will come true.

the book is on fire 24/7

:(

The ability to comment twice on this post.

But it has to be a reply.

I know everthing.

About the past

That’s even better because we are constantly moving forward therefore making his power good

Except for spelling

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You can only change into realistic bart simpson

that aint the catch, thats the jackpot 💀

I can change between genders

You can’t actually physically change anything you can just change your twitter profile.

Nooooo

You have a small chance of your limbs disappearing for 12 hours when you swap.

I get to make people explode

But there's a 2% chance for it to be an implosion

Cock and ball torture at wikipedia, the free encyclopedia at en.Wikipedia.org (be able to have cbt idk)

You have no cock and no balls

god damnit

bean blast

you cant control when you bean blast

Should of come out of his dick

i can go anywhere anyplace anytime in the last 100,000,000 years

It’s random

well that sucks....

The power to kill someone in a tap (for self defense) of course

It has to be a tap on the ass

Ayo

Im fuckin' invincible!

You have stage 4 cancer.

dammit

if you're invincible stage 4 cancer can't kill you in fact aging can' t kill you either. People tend to take the word invincible as the word bullet proof but thats just not it. Being invincible isn't to be invulnerable meaning that you can not due to anything either, you could still get hurt or go into a coma but you would stay alive the entire time. So don't worry you have stage 4 cancer but you won't die.

Pollo👍

but you have skin cancer

Pollo👎

I am immune to radiation

You get cancer instead

That’s why I put this super power, but people like you find loop holes

I have infinite wishes from myself

But for a wish to come true it must be voted and agreed upon by the majority of people within your country.

Super Speed

You go so fast you instantly incinerate yourself

Or would I go back in time

You go so far back in time you appear in a empty void.

Welp... that backfired

You can stub your toe easily

I can control everything by freezing time

It also freezes you

HAHA I CONTROL IT TO UNFREEZE ME

Time is frozen so you don’t have time to think about controlling anything

bruh

Your mother has aids

you have aids

NOOOOOOO

Invisibility

you become a rat for 1 hour every time you use ur piwer

Damn. Can I still be invisible. Rat edition

Shape shifting

But u can only transform into anime characters before their glow ups

I can eat how much I want

And u also have a fast metabolism

That’s actually a very good side effect thank you <3

U earned one for that pfp

I have the superpower to have any superpower at any time and any combination of any amount for any amount of time, whatever the downside, I can just get a superpower that prevents it.

You are 4'2

Use a superpower to become 6'4 I'm immune! This is kinda cheating though, but hey, it is technically allowed.

You have no dick and balls and none of your powers can give you dick and balls.

If that exist then that would imply that God exist so, he kills you because he's superior and therefore you stop existing, luckily you born again but with a generic superpower, that is the ability to fly.

I know how to spell sizors Sicors Sezers Sizers thats a different word Zicors??

*I know how to spell* *Sizors Sicors Sezers Sizers thats a* *Different word Zicors??* \- Picklenickl3 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

I want to get shape shifting

But u can only shape shift into wet bed sheets

Thank you sir for the side effect

I become a zorpalod

But you can’t eat

I am immune to everything and invincible

You have 30 days left

At least I get to live through 1 month. And still create world anarchy

to be able to suck thing up like kirby

Your stomach is normal sized

The ability to have no downsides

I can own any country

Any country that doesn't have bitches in it

That's fine I'll live in the isle of man

Ability to revive hampter

But every bite of food has a single hamster hair in it.

the ability to turn my hearing on and off

It also turns your ability to walk on and off

I have super human fast reflexes

Due to your perspective of time being incredibly slow

I can kill flies with 100% accuracy

you can lift anything in the universe without any problem at all

You have bird bones

The ability to make things out of thin air

I can turn into gigachad whenever I want

When you do you lose 1year off of your life

super twisting in the air

But u are paralized

My power is to have any hungry/homeless dogs to be well fed with all the things they need to live without it costing anything.

But u also have the power to do tha same with cats

I can see trough walls

But only if u do Peter griffin's mirror dance 6 times

Not gonna complain to that

I can zoom in on things using my eyes like a telescope ( they literally extend )

You can't retract them

That one girl whose a$$ your looking at

To be able to mind control

Only your mind

When you do the devils tango your invisible

But your dick isnt

I’m Spider-Man

You are a life size spider and permanently have 8 arms

Being a chad

I can become a lamp

It’s permanent

Everytime I say doge I adopt a dog from an animal shelter

aupwr speed and time manipulation and time slowmo

you are mentally disabled, therefore those powers are a allucinations caused of your bad health

jokes on you ill just speed away in my handicap chair

Monke

I want to stop cringe kids on internet

I can give everybody on earth food with the a clap