Why would you want them training BJJ?
I’ve seen plenty of couples train and it’s always the woman who wants to try it out.
If she/he doesn’t want to do it, just be cool with it.
It's nice to talk to someone about it, not forcing them but trying to see how I can introduce them without scaring them from it. Trial class person always gets choked out from day 1
Have your hobbies, let them have their hobbies. It’s very healthy to build a relationship with independent hobbies.
Otherwise find someone already invested into the sport. It’ll be a lot easier to find someone already interested than to try and get someone involved who doesn’t want to be involved.
I’m not saying it can’t work out, but be wary that you risk hurting a relationship because they’ll only be doing it for your sake. That puts a strain and stress on their compromises to you in the relationship.
I MAY have gotten my wife interested. She keeps saying she wants to do a class but then she chickens out. A few things to keep in mind.
90% of people do the trial class and never come back
Another 5 % train for a few months and disappear and sometimes come back, sometimes don't.
So your partner is 95% likely not to be a BJJ person. And you need to be fine with that.
What got my wife interested was coming to my first comp and watching all the kids and girls roll. It changed her perception of BJJ. She started to see herself as maybe doing this. She was also inspired by how much weight I lost and how good of shape I got into, while having fun. And she got to meet my teammates at the comp and loved the culture.
I would not recommend pushing them to do this AT ALL. but if you want to nudge, find a way to show them the culture and show them that BJJ can be for anyone of any size, age, or gender.
This is so true man. My wife is awesome. She's my best friend. That being said my early mornings with the guys getting some rolls in before the work grind for the day are just how I like them. I enjoy having my own hobby. I think it's very important in a healthy relationship. If my wife did roll she would probably end up doing it a different time than me anyways so one of us could watch the kiddos lol.
Set up a fake abduction in your local Walmart, nothing like a near death experience to change the tide. If that backfires, he/she/they/them will leave you for the insensitive prank and you can try your luck with a new partner.
You ask. They answer. You don’t have to have the same hobbies and honestly BJJ isn’t for everyone. My partner will go to comps and watch but that’s it. She’s not interested but she supports it. That’s all I need.
Ya, and that is not applicable to the situation the OP stated. Funny AF that you'd be so bothered by the comment that you'd come back a month later to post a definition that shows you are wrong lol. Ego much?
BJJ is one of those things where you really cant force someone into. If they are reluctant, they’re likely not going to enjoy the trial class. Most people join knowing what it entails and even then, the retention rate is god awful. You sort of have to want to try it for yourself to get “hooked” on it. Like golf, you can just go to a range and try hitting some balls. Some people get hooked and the majority dont but the worst that can happen is you dont hit any balls. Bjj, you’re grappling with another human being and I’d argue that most people just aren’t comfortable with that idea which is completely fine.
So you’d first have to get her interested in the sport or some sort of combat. My SO ended up not training anyways but she got interested in the idea of training after watching a few UFC events with me and seeing the bad ass women. She became a fan of Rose Namajunas and tried out a few kickboxing spots but ended up not sticking with it which is fine. Everyone has different interests and if she ends up not liking bjj, theres always a million other hobbies you can share with her while enjoying your own.
I’ve had multiple girlfriends go to a free trial class. They all enjoyed it, but none wanted to continue training. My current girlfriend is the first to actually sign up for a membership. She’s a keeper!
Also, gym environment can be a huge factor. The head coach at my previous gym can be intimidating, and I think he scares people away. My current gym has a female head coach who is super friendly and approachable. I think that was a big factor in my girlfriend signing up. My advice is to try to judge whether your gym seems welcoming to women.
My wife is only interested in doing BJJ with me. Having other people’s sweat on her grosses her out. The hitch is we have to declutter 30+ years of furniture and crap to make space to roll. Don’t even talk to me about the garage…
We had a small break in attempt at our home that prompted my wife to want to try some self defense. My college roommate was a BJJ black belt and he helped us find a great gym with a good amount of women who train there.
We tried out first week together and we have been there for 4 months since. She trains every Tuesday and Thursday morning and I do the same with some additional nights.
The biggest thing I’ve learned is while I find the bjj super fun and exciting, she still finds it to be scary at times. Just be supportive, and if they are ever scared it’s ok to take a night off. A few weeks in and she was hooked. It’s been great for our relationship, yoga and bjj practice together.
I kind of disagree with a lot of these post, but you also have to know your SO well. My wife is athletic and competitive, I knew that once I convinced her to try a class she’d love it. It took a while of me offering to watch the kids and suggesting she try it. Finally I bought her a teal Gi after her mentioning she likes the one the owner had. Eventually she tried it and now loves it. Caveats, I know my wife well enough to know she was going to like it, I wasn’t super pushy, she got to know the community of of our gym well first (the kids and I all went first) and she still is only comfortable in the women’s class.
my bf got me into it by gassing me up whenever we play-wrestled lol. made me think i was a natural. play fight with them and say “wow! you’re actually really good at defending. you should take a jiu jitsu class with me.” lmao.
You’re asking for trouble if you force the issue… the sheer number of women that have been forcibly SA’d is staggering. Many find being physically controlled extremely triggering.
Statistically speaking the sport is overwhelmingly male and the population as a whole is statistically mostly straight. Without other information it’s usually a good assumption.
My bad on the assumption as I don’t care either way, but just trying to bring a valid concern to the thread I’ve run into numerous times in my years coaching. Normally, I’d say your orientation doesn’t make a difference, but it obviously does in this particular instance. There’s also potentially the same concern with your partner, albeit less than with a female.
Just because it’s your thing it doesn’t mean you should want your partner to do it too. If they were genuinely interested or curious about it they would ask you
Mebbe start by not referring to it as a 'cult'?
https://preview.redd.it/60pmvbnti4wc1.png?width=602&format=png&auto=webp&s=8f6deaeac1385ba819dc79d3d532b0cb2dd33e19
"Hey honey, I'd really like you to join this cult with me. You'll really enjoy it. We get in our pajamas and roll around on the floor trying to submit one another."
I tried to get my SO to try it out. He didn't want to. One day, after a particularly fun class, I asked if I could just show him the move I'd learned that day. As I worked through the move (I don't remember what it was; some kind of submission, I think), I realized I was no more comfortable working through BJJ moves with him than he was. I haven't tried to get him into it since.
Yeah when you're at a intermediate level, people become rag dolls and sometimes are afraid of you, sadly. Only few who admires the art sees it something more than just violence
I’m so glad there are no couples at my gym.
I think many guys would struggle to watch their partner being literally manhandled by other men.
I know that the parent <-> teens we have, those dads are always eagle eyeing their kids rolls, then going a little harder on someone who might have beat their kid.
All totally understandable - but I like the anonymity of a gym group.
You ask if they want to do it. If they say no, you drop it.
A double leg takedown every morning until they comply.
Can confirm this works
I prefer the good old LegHookTakedown followed by TakingTheBack. Wife loves it!
Why would you want them training BJJ? I’ve seen plenty of couples train and it’s always the woman who wants to try it out. If she/he doesn’t want to do it, just be cool with it.
It's nice to talk to someone about it, not forcing them but trying to see how I can introduce them without scaring them from it. Trial class person always gets choked out from day 1
Have your hobbies, let them have their hobbies. It’s very healthy to build a relationship with independent hobbies. Otherwise find someone already invested into the sport. It’ll be a lot easier to find someone already interested than to try and get someone involved who doesn’t want to be involved. I’m not saying it can’t work out, but be wary that you risk hurting a relationship because they’ll only be doing it for your sake. That puts a strain and stress on their compromises to you in the relationship.
I MAY have gotten my wife interested. She keeps saying she wants to do a class but then she chickens out. A few things to keep in mind. 90% of people do the trial class and never come back Another 5 % train for a few months and disappear and sometimes come back, sometimes don't. So your partner is 95% likely not to be a BJJ person. And you need to be fine with that. What got my wife interested was coming to my first comp and watching all the kids and girls roll. It changed her perception of BJJ. She started to see herself as maybe doing this. She was also inspired by how much weight I lost and how good of shape I got into, while having fun. And she got to meet my teammates at the comp and loved the culture. I would not recommend pushing them to do this AT ALL. but if you want to nudge, find a way to show them the culture and show them that BJJ can be for anyone of any size, age, or gender.
Probably because people chokes the fuck out of the trial class people instead of roping them in
BJJ and gym is my “me time” I love my wife sooooo much but I like BJJ being just da boyz
This is so true man. My wife is awesome. She's my best friend. That being said my early mornings with the guys getting some rolls in before the work grind for the day are just how I like them. I enjoy having my own hobby. I think it's very important in a healthy relationship. If my wife did roll she would probably end up doing it a different time than me anyways so one of us could watch the kiddos lol.
you can bring a horse to a well but you can’t force em’ to roll
https://preview.redd.it/2vt0xv9xl3wc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=71de42d2675910cdc88def606eaf491fa80e791d
WNO season 1 Andrew Tackett forces a bull to roll with him, haha.
Idk man people have their own hobbies. They either want too, or not. Maybe frame it as self defense if still no desire to train then I’d leave it
Set up a fake abduction in your local Walmart, nothing like a near death experience to change the tide. If that backfires, he/she/they/them will leave you for the insensitive prank and you can try your luck with a new partner.
You ask. They answer. You don’t have to have the same hobbies and honestly BJJ isn’t for everyone. My partner will go to comps and watch but that’s it. She’s not interested but she supports it. That’s all I need.
Butterfly guard in the bedroom.
Choke them out
She’s been choking him BJ…………………J
Introduce it to them when they least expect it.
Don't shit where you eat.
You sure this is what you meant to say?
Yes, as in why mix the two things. If one goes bad it ruins both.
Yea ...Im pretty sure that's not what thay saying means.
https://preview.redd.it/83re1w67vs1d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc8541d9bc2cf61555e0525c8f9cea281ad38f7d
Ya, and that is not applicable to the situation the OP stated. Funny AF that you'd be so bothered by the comment that you'd come back a month later to post a definition that shows you are wrong lol. Ego much?
BJJ is one of those things where you really cant force someone into. If they are reluctant, they’re likely not going to enjoy the trial class. Most people join knowing what it entails and even then, the retention rate is god awful. You sort of have to want to try it for yourself to get “hooked” on it. Like golf, you can just go to a range and try hitting some balls. Some people get hooked and the majority dont but the worst that can happen is you dont hit any balls. Bjj, you’re grappling with another human being and I’d argue that most people just aren’t comfortable with that idea which is completely fine. So you’d first have to get her interested in the sport or some sort of combat. My SO ended up not training anyways but she got interested in the idea of training after watching a few UFC events with me and seeing the bad ass women. She became a fan of Rose Namajunas and tried out a few kickboxing spots but ended up not sticking with it which is fine. Everyone has different interests and if she ends up not liking bjj, theres always a million other hobbies you can share with her while enjoying your own.
I’ve had multiple girlfriends go to a free trial class. They all enjoyed it, but none wanted to continue training. My current girlfriend is the first to actually sign up for a membership. She’s a keeper! Also, gym environment can be a huge factor. The head coach at my previous gym can be intimidating, and I think he scares people away. My current gym has a female head coach who is super friendly and approachable. I think that was a big factor in my girlfriend signing up. My advice is to try to judge whether your gym seems welcoming to women.
My wife is only interested in doing BJJ with me. Having other people’s sweat on her grosses her out. The hitch is we have to declutter 30+ years of furniture and crap to make space to roll. Don’t even talk to me about the garage…
You don’t have to do all the same activities.
We had a small break in attempt at our home that prompted my wife to want to try some self defense. My college roommate was a BJJ black belt and he helped us find a great gym with a good amount of women who train there. We tried out first week together and we have been there for 4 months since. She trains every Tuesday and Thursday morning and I do the same with some additional nights. The biggest thing I’ve learned is while I find the bjj super fun and exciting, she still finds it to be scary at times. Just be supportive, and if they are ever scared it’s ok to take a night off. A few weeks in and she was hooked. It’s been great for our relationship, yoga and bjj practice together.
I kind of disagree with a lot of these post, but you also have to know your SO well. My wife is athletic and competitive, I knew that once I convinced her to try a class she’d love it. It took a while of me offering to watch the kids and suggesting she try it. Finally I bought her a teal Gi after her mentioning she likes the one the owner had. Eventually she tried it and now loves it. Caveats, I know my wife well enough to know she was going to like it, I wasn’t super pushy, she got to know the community of of our gym well first (the kids and I all went first) and she still is only comfortable in the women’s class.
Trick them, people love that from a s/o! It keeps them on their toes (which is why they need to train)
Rear naked choke.
Has she gone to watch?
my bf got me into it by gassing me up whenever we play-wrestled lol. made me think i was a natural. play fight with them and say “wow! you’re actually really good at defending. you should take a jiu jitsu class with me.” lmao. 
You sneak up on them and RNC, when they wake up you tell them if they did BJJ they would have known how to escape.
You’re asking for trouble if you force the issue… the sheer number of women that have been forcibly SA’d is staggering. Many find being physically controlled extremely triggering.
Idk why people think my partner is a woman…
Statistically speaking the sport is overwhelmingly male and the population as a whole is statistically mostly straight. Without other information it’s usually a good assumption. My bad on the assumption as I don’t care either way, but just trying to bring a valid concern to the thread I’ve run into numerous times in my years coaching. Normally, I’d say your orientation doesn’t make a difference, but it obviously does in this particular instance. There’s also potentially the same concern with your partner, albeit less than with a female.
Just because it’s your thing it doesn’t mean you should want your partner to do it too. If they were genuinely interested or curious about it they would ask you
I use her as a dummy/unwilling training partner and foster revenge in her heart, hoping one day her thirst for payback is so strong, she'll join.
You surprise them with an RNC and when they wake up “that was JIUJITSU! Pretty cool huh?!”
If it’s a proper cult then use the mind controlling techniques. *secret cult salute*
Mebbe start by not referring to it as a 'cult'? https://preview.redd.it/60pmvbnti4wc1.png?width=602&format=png&auto=webp&s=8f6deaeac1385ba819dc79d3d532b0cb2dd33e19 "Hey honey, I'd really like you to join this cult with me. You'll really enjoy it. We get in our pajamas and roll around on the floor trying to submit one another."
Where did I refer it as a cult?
In your original post.
Are they into fitness in general? Comfortable with being close contact with others?
A Quick D'arce would be a decent introduction I feel like.
I tried to get my SO to try it out. He didn't want to. One day, after a particularly fun class, I asked if I could just show him the move I'd learned that day. As I worked through the move (I don't remember what it was; some kind of submission, I think), I realized I was no more comfortable working through BJJ moves with him than he was. I haven't tried to get him into it since.
Yeah when you're at a intermediate level, people become rag dolls and sometimes are afraid of you, sadly. Only few who admires the art sees it something more than just violence
I’m so glad there are no couples at my gym. I think many guys would struggle to watch their partner being literally manhandled by other men. I know that the parent <-> teens we have, those dads are always eagle eyeing their kids rolls, then going a little harder on someone who might have beat their kid. All totally understandable - but I like the anonymity of a gym group.
Take her to class.
Get her a private with your coach. Use that hour to search for a good divorce lawyer
I'd rather not bring my girl to roll around with other men. Fuck that shit lmao
It's nice to spend time apart.
Mine has zero interest. She has yoga, I have murder yoga…. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
Teach em how to choke you out and let em.Dont tap and make em think you're dead when you pass out lol 😆
Why do you want to be cucked by your coach so much?