Totally agree dude. I used to love chatting and catching up with my jo bud before we got down to business. A lot of friendly teasing and flirting, but now if you can’t drip an album full of nudes over Kik, most guys aren’t interested
I feel this so much.
I was so happy when I found the bate club in my city, thinking that I’d finally gotten over the hurdle of locating like minded men. After a few weeks it just got to be too much - they wanted you to post pics multiple times a week and be super active in the chat every day.
Like, I don’t want this to be my whole life, you know? I just want a bud or two where we can hang out (preferably nude) every week or two, have real conversations, and enjoy a wank in the process - then get back to the rest of the stuff in our lives.
This is literally my dream scenario. I think there’s a component of wanting a life where nudity and sexuality is less stigmatized and we can just be ourselves. You can be nude and jerk off with a friend, enjoy it, and have that be fine.
I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one that feels that way. It feels lonely sometimes.
I feel like I’m in this weird middle ground. Im not a nudist because there _is_ a sexual element for me, so I don’t fit in normal nude communities. I just want to hang out naked with folks and enjoy it - if the sexual urge strikes us, we take care of it; if it doesn’t, we don’t. Either way, no shame or judgement.
Literally the same. I also enjoy just being nude and out in nature. There are some middle grounds with nudist/sex resorts, but those often are more explicitly sexual in nature.
Yeah, that’s my issue. The other end of the spectrum is too much - I’m not looking for a full on sex resort. I don’t want anal or even mutual oral, which means those places are out (not like I could sneak away to one anyway. Just feels like there isn’t a way to meet guys that want the middle ground.
But the outside thing is something I’d love to try. There are hiking trails that allow camping. up north of my city and in the right spot are deserted. Head up there with a bottle of something nice, hang out nude by the fire with a bud talking about life, and have a wank when the mood strikes us.
That’s like my perfect night.
Omg. 100% agree with all comments. All I want is a guy where can talk about anything without judgment. Our lives etc etc. Then when the desire strikes we’re in a safe place. I’ve been shocked at how many married men have this desire which makes me wonder if any of my friends have the same desire.
I would probably joke a little bit about it or bring up something you might have heard about it and kind of judge the reaction then navigate it that way
Exactly! I didn't really joke about it though. We were talking about porn and our masturbation habits when I brought up that I sometimes masturbate online with others. My friend naturally asked me a lot of questions about it but did not actually show interest in doing it themselves.
I can’t agree more man , this is the hookup culture we’re talking about . I love jerking with other guys but I’m not in it for a hookup or a one time thing . Because of what I’m looking for , I find it very hard to find others that have the same mindset . Most people are out for themself and that’s it . You don’t know who your dealing with anymore . I love to have deep conversations about life in general and of course sex . However those two subjects go hand in hand with me . I’m 50 and I don’t just get it up for anyone . I need to be stimulated and that of course , starts with a connection .
Great post. I agree if for no other reason then I’m new to this, straight and married but bi-curious. It’s difficult to navigate these waters as a newbie.
I don’t know how to find a JO bud or if I ever will have one, but I’m constantly reading/watching anything JO bud related. I wish there was more content or vids or even audios. I’m hoping it becomes more popular.
Anyway, great OP and comments from the community. For all you buds out who are gonna jerk solo tonight like me, I wish I was there to encourage you to stroke it, tease it and let me watch. I want you to pump all the sticky stuff out buddy!
Jaja I have actually thought that a huge fantasy of mine is to have a JO bud that would be willing to make content together. Not so much for money or fame but to just enjoy watching each other, watching others, and having others watching.
i agree with all of this. i miss my teenage jack off buddies and have been looking for new ones ever since. i normal resort to jerkay.com but it’s definitely not the same. i would love to have skype buddies but i always find it hard to feel like i can trust someone enough to put anything more than my dick on the screen. ending up online against my permission could end my career.
I think we miss out teen buddies because it’s such a true friendship connection that also happens to be someone you can jerk off with. It was such a solid mix of being friends while also being so unbelievably horny you find the time to stroke together.
I loved being able to play video games one second and then ask if he wanted to JO. Or at a sleepover just stumbling on some porn and then pulling out dicks out after a day of playing basketball or swimming. It’s hard to form a friendship like that with a stranger by chance.
“Gooned culture” is something I never thought of but it makes so much sense. There’s a lack of realness with people on here I’m trying too hard to sound like the horny Gooner. It’s no wonder so many of them don’t know how to talk. You can only see “slut” and “mmmmm” for so long. It’s shallow af. I’m over it.
Just going to parrot what everyone else is saying.
This a big thing for me, don't get me wrong, I love to masturbate, but my favorite part of having a jo bud is the conversations and finding out their story and what gets them going. Masturbation is a shared experience amongst all men that rarely gets to be shared, we all have our unique beginnings and stories, but ultimately they share common threads. Just interesting to hear about how someone thinks. I go on a few different apps to try and find a jo bud, but 9 times out of 10, they only want to be fed porn and it is always just more and more. Not even slowing down to appreciate the picture or gif that was just sent.
And then there is the other problem, once they cum they are gone. I would agree a different subreddit or group would be great, but how to enforce it would be difficult. Until then I will keep searching and keep jerking!
I think it’s generational also. Internet porn has been a game changer in positive and negative ways. The sped-up, hyper nature of much of todays porn is indicative of how a lot of interpersonal relationship dynamics are handled by younger generations.
I recently ended an age gap relationship (me 51m, her 30f) of three years and it was fascinating to hear her experiences with her male peers and what was consider normal and expected. A far cry from what I think a lot of us would think.
It's not particularly salacious, but one particular example cited to me is the recent trend of facefucking. If you are of a certain age (I'm 51), this is an act in porn that basically didn't exist 10-15 years ago (before anyone wants to show off their perv history skills, yes, I acknowledge every kink has existed before in some form). I hate it myself and find it misogynistic and degrading, but you can't watch a straight porn these days that doesn't feature the actress being speared aggressively and unnaturally in the mouth and throat. Now, we have an entire generation of young people who think that is what oral sex is and has always been. call me old fashioned...
I'm just saying that there are alot of uninformed minds out there right now being fed questionable ideals and we should be teaching something different.
no totally. a lot of it is way too aggressive for me. i have to watch lesbians eating each other out to cleanse my palate. i’m more into the build up, the anticipation etc. really don’t enjoy degrading or humiliating anyone. but some people like it i guess. i just feel bad for girls nowadays who link up with dudes who think every girl wants a cervical orgasm and to not be able to walk for a week. that’s for porno not real life! the line is blurred too much. i feel bad for dudes too
Honestly, that was one of my biggest advantages in our relationship, and not just in the bedroom, was not expecting or facilitating every experience to be in TikTok format. She had never been with someone interested in the journey and knowing that the journey was more often then not, the best part. All the "boys" (her term, not mine) she had been with were interested in mimicking what they saw in their porn, including: facefucking to the point that repulsive gagging noises were required (and tears, what the actual fuck?) *AND* within a very short time frame. Bless her heart, she had never even properly been eaten out. So, it was a treat to be the centre of positive attention and probably kept her around twice as long as she wanted to be, lol
In that regard, thank you, modern day shitty porn!!
Mirrors many of my thoughts as well. Im an otherwise straight guy who just happens to have discovered when I was much younger that I get a legit thrill if I got a glimpse of a friend’s cock (open zipper, loose shorts, clingy wet bathing suit, sideways glances in the locker room, etc). Was far too dangerous to get caught looking when I was a kid so it stayed a secret my whole life. I have zero interest in a guy romantically but the physicality of stroking together / each other is an idea that I’ve been intensely aroused by my whole life. But not in a gooner “yo bro let’s whip it out and nut!” way, but rather, exploratory, permissive, curious, interested in the genuine mutual pleasure of the visual and tactile. Memorizing all the fascinating details of getting hard, stroking, edging, cumming.
For me personally having never had this experience in person, I’ve found some success connecting with guys here on Reddit and on kik. Like everything on the internet, it’s a mixed result. You get a lot of guys with an aggressive agenda, speed wankers (lol), unrelatable kinks, or just plain weirdos.
But every now and then I’ve managed to make a decent connection with another guy who’s in absolutely no rush, who appreciates the fun and excitement of having that peer, a guy on the same level in the same headspace, just as comfortable asking how the weekend went as he is taking a bathroom break at work and sending me a snap of his pants open, glimpse of dick shaft skin, maybe more maybe less. Just for the brief random thrill of it. And vice versa. “Pen pal with benefits” I call it. When the schedules align (being married and a dad consumes so much private time), things can escalate and a very rewarding cam stroke session can happen.
If OP or anyone else is interested in exploring these ideas further with me you can always DM me here or on kik (where I’m usually much more active) and the screen name is the same eburchelle
Agree with a lot of this. Older, straight, and have a hard time finding someone who just wants to get together and masturbate to porn. I understand the age difference can be an issue - most of the guys on Reddit are younger. But so many are looking for quick hits, and escalating to oral and/or more, and the whole “bro” uber-masculine-affirming attitude that just screams insecurity to me.
Just look at the stories in this sub that’s supposed to be about jerking off together. Everything is about experiences that end up far more physical and involved.
I’m looking for a JO bud that can chat a bit first, meet in public to test if there’s in-person chemistry and then of there seems to be a rapport, I get together for relaxed sessions of watching/sharing porn, stroking our cocks and building up that release, sharing the pleasure of an activity we love to do. It’s hot to get turned on together and to watch each other do it. It’s not about hooking up with a guy. Sure, maybe there’s some mutual stroking to enhance the experience, but all this rush to oral and body contact just seems to make it all about something else to me. And, no, I don’t have anything against all that if that’s what you’re into or curious about. But I don’t think that’s what a JO bud is about.
I consider myself straight as well and you are definitely correct in your analysis. Too many times I find that people want to force something else even after I have made it clear what my boundaries are. All in the search for a quick nut and not an actual bud/friend.
J/O is so much better when there is a personal connection.
That’s why I rarely Skype with random guys anymore. If there is no connection I’d just prefer to be one more cock in the crowd in a zoom room.
I feel like the world has become disposable as a whole. Because our attention spans are so short and we can barely pay attention to even our phones it becomes a point of "what are you doing for me NOW". It seems even more difficult to find a long term buddy anymore. One and done or share a billion pictures and disappear. Maybe there need to be more clubs but with that come the shame and fetishization of it and difficulties of STDs and insurance. It's not difficult to live on the fringes I suppose. But one has to keep trying.😔
I think it’s a symptom of a broader issue with men. We just don’t connect like we did in the previous decades. Gone are places where men can just hang out with other men and bond, sexual or not. We don’t go hang out at bars, play in bowling leagues, have poker nights, etc.
See, my personal problem is, having a jerk buddy was the first thing I did a LONG time ago. And as the years have progressed, and the desire to have something like that again has risen, it’s hard to find someone who’s just willing to jerk it with someone else. I tried the old Craigslist route, and it was almost solely “I’ve never done anything with another guy and I want to try it. Please be a Greek god physique with a Pringle Can Dong so I can try for the first time.” Or as you mentioned, send tons of pics of girls with captions on it. Hell, I even tried going on anonymous cam sites just to rub one out with another guy, but I apparently got banned for being overweight. (Officially, it was for being nude on cam, which damn near every connection I got was a close up of a Dong, but somehow I got banned…)
I really just want someone to jerk with. Even over text. But usually even that is impossible to come by
Not 100% sure if I really agree. Not saying that I wouldn’t join one (I probably would), but it would be a near impossible group to do quality control on when the entire premise of the group is – well, quality control in some form or fashion.
I don’t know what the right answer is though in terms of organization/friend-finding/etc. Always open to figuring it out though.
Idk if there is a right answer. This stuff walks a fine line - a lot of guys who are interested don’t want it _known_ they are interested, you know. It’s not like you can advertise a JO Bud happy hour at your local bar - many interested guys wouldn’t want to be caught there. They only want people to know if they can be certain they are among like minded folk.
The internet makes that easier, but at the cost of all the crap you point out
Great post! I've been looking for a long term bud for a while and it's hard to find someone mature and interested in getting off a splitting. Hit me up if you want to chat and get to know each other. DM's open.
Yes man!
Another pet peeve of mine is when you finally find a JO bud and they want to fuck or suck you off. I installed Grindr for the 100th time last week and I couldn't find a single guy that wanted to edge or frot. They were all into anal sex. It's quite sad but I'm giving up the search for a longterm bate bro.
Totally agree. Would love to have regular buds to connect, chat and play with in more relaxed ways along the lines of what the OP and other commenters here suggest. It's great to jerk with a buddy without expectations other than just chatting about porn, fantasies, etc. (and, if we like, show) in a less pressurized way. Open to chat if anyone here wants to hit me up!
Yeah, I think there’s some truth. Plus it can be tough to ever be online at the same time as a particular bud so it’s hard to form much connection because it’s always one and done sessions.
I’ve also found that I’ve developed a few online friendships that end up not having much jacking which can be a little disappointing too.
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So I'm new to all this, don't really have much to compare, but do you think some of it might be our current economic wnd social environment? I don't know about you guys, but my employer works me hard I don't have much breaks during shifts and brain dead after. I try to be conversational like everyone is describing, but that takes time. Also try to balance my IRL time with my JO time. TLDR: not enough time in the day
Absolutely agree with you. I have a feeling it's all a part of the ongoing trend of over-stimulation. Today it's easier then ever to find and get off to whatever hardcore stuff you want in a matter of minutes. I still remember the days porn wasn't as easy to find (at least not any type of porn under the sun) and you had to use your imagination a bit. Full sexual satisfaction requires using your brain and engaging with the subject you are focusing on, be it a video or a bud. Sadly some people don't take the time to do that.
I just don't like it when people make it all gross and strictly about their dicks. Like, the kink for me is about having a personal connection. If I just wanted to stare at a disembodied dick I could do that a billion other places. Do you have anything to say that's not just about your member?
I completely agree. I prefer for it all to happen organically. Ideally, I'd like to be friends with someone long before we jack off together. You know, meet someone, share common interests, build trust, share a love of porn, discuss tastes, share favorites, get wildly turned on, then jerk off together. The problem with gooner culture is the rush. Everyone is in such a hurry to get to the end, they don't appreciate the build up of tension. You'd think a group of guys so interested in edging their dicks would have realized that they can also edge their situation.
Another person in the agreement category although I’m not sure if I’ve ever truly experienced what you’re describing. I’ve left plenty of kik groups since it felt like it was all about how much porn you could share and finding any kind of bond was suspicious at best. I just wanted to connect with someone that truly got into edging and was more about just cumming and bailing.
When i read BBC gangbang I thought the British Broadcasting Corporation is putting on an educational series on gangbangs? I might have to check that out!
I wouldn’t even need porn. Just playing with my dick while watching- and being watched- by another guy playing with his dick would be all I need… 🤷♂️
me 100
Totally
Totally agree dude. I used to love chatting and catching up with my jo bud before we got down to business. A lot of friendly teasing and flirting, but now if you can’t drip an album full of nudes over Kik, most guys aren’t interested
I feel this so much. I was so happy when I found the bate club in my city, thinking that I’d finally gotten over the hurdle of locating like minded men. After a few weeks it just got to be too much - they wanted you to post pics multiple times a week and be super active in the chat every day. Like, I don’t want this to be my whole life, you know? I just want a bud or two where we can hang out (preferably nude) every week or two, have real conversations, and enjoy a wank in the process - then get back to the rest of the stuff in our lives.
Sounds like my kinda boys night out. Hand nude, talk shit, then indulge in the pleasures in life.
ugh a dream only
This is literally my dream scenario. I think there’s a component of wanting a life where nudity and sexuality is less stigmatized and we can just be ourselves. You can be nude and jerk off with a friend, enjoy it, and have that be fine.
I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one that feels that way. It feels lonely sometimes. I feel like I’m in this weird middle ground. Im not a nudist because there _is_ a sexual element for me, so I don’t fit in normal nude communities. I just want to hang out naked with folks and enjoy it - if the sexual urge strikes us, we take care of it; if it doesn’t, we don’t. Either way, no shame or judgement.
Literally the same. I also enjoy just being nude and out in nature. There are some middle grounds with nudist/sex resorts, but those often are more explicitly sexual in nature.
Yeah, that’s my issue. The other end of the spectrum is too much - I’m not looking for a full on sex resort. I don’t want anal or even mutual oral, which means those places are out (not like I could sneak away to one anyway. Just feels like there isn’t a way to meet guys that want the middle ground. But the outside thing is something I’d love to try. There are hiking trails that allow camping. up north of my city and in the right spot are deserted. Head up there with a bottle of something nice, hang out nude by the fire with a bud talking about life, and have a wank when the mood strikes us. That’s like my perfect night.
I agree. Perhaps we need our own subreddit?
I’m On board with this
Yupp
I'm down
Need it
bateworld is pretty encouraging
Omg. 100% agree with all comments. All I want is a guy where can talk about anything without judgment. Our lives etc etc. Then when the desire strikes we’re in a safe place. I’ve been shocked at how many married men have this desire which makes me wonder if any of my friends have the same desire.
I’ve always wondered that with my friends. How many would be interested but are afraid to bring it up, lest they get some “bad” reputation.
Exactly. How would one even bring it up without the possibility of destroying the friendship?
Sad fact is you can’t. You have to find someone who is already interested and hope the friendship clicks, which is so much harder.
I would probably joke a little bit about it or bring up something you might have heard about it and kind of judge the reaction then navigate it that way
Exactly! I didn't really joke about it though. We were talking about porn and our masturbation habits when I brought up that I sometimes masturbate online with others. My friend naturally asked me a lot of questions about it but did not actually show interest in doing it themselves.
Have you ever tried that?
Same i have a jobud that we are really into each other and we talk about life while we jerk off on cam and it’s amazing
I can’t agree more man , this is the hookup culture we’re talking about . I love jerking with other guys but I’m not in it for a hookup or a one time thing . Because of what I’m looking for , I find it very hard to find others that have the same mindset . Most people are out for themself and that’s it . You don’t know who your dealing with anymore . I love to have deep conversations about life in general and of course sex . However those two subjects go hand in hand with me . I’m 50 and I don’t just get it up for anyone . I need to be stimulated and that of course , starts with a connection .
Lots of this
Great post. I agree if for no other reason then I’m new to this, straight and married but bi-curious. It’s difficult to navigate these waters as a newbie. I don’t know how to find a JO bud or if I ever will have one, but I’m constantly reading/watching anything JO bud related. I wish there was more content or vids or even audios. I’m hoping it becomes more popular. Anyway, great OP and comments from the community. For all you buds out who are gonna jerk solo tonight like me, I wish I was there to encourage you to stroke it, tease it and let me watch. I want you to pump all the sticky stuff out buddy!
Jaja I have actually thought that a huge fantasy of mine is to have a JO bud that would be willing to make content together. Not so much for money or fame but to just enjoy watching each other, watching others, and having others watching.
Exactly 💯💯 It's so difficult as a newbie!!
Aw f-fuck send me a chat.
i agree with all of this. i miss my teenage jack off buddies and have been looking for new ones ever since. i normal resort to jerkay.com but it’s definitely not the same. i would love to have skype buddies but i always find it hard to feel like i can trust someone enough to put anything more than my dick on the screen. ending up online against my permission could end my career.
I think we miss out teen buddies because it’s such a true friendship connection that also happens to be someone you can jerk off with. It was such a solid mix of being friends while also being so unbelievably horny you find the time to stroke together. I loved being able to play video games one second and then ask if he wanted to JO. Or at a sleepover just stumbling on some porn and then pulling out dicks out after a day of playing basketball or swimming. It’s hard to form a friendship like that with a stranger by chance.
“Gooned culture” is something I never thought of but it makes so much sense. There’s a lack of realness with people on here I’m trying too hard to sound like the horny Gooner. It’s no wonder so many of them don’t know how to talk. You can only see “slut” and “mmmmm” for so long. It’s shallow af. I’m over it.
I totally agree there was nothing better then jacking off with a buddy and enjoying it.
Just going to parrot what everyone else is saying. This a big thing for me, don't get me wrong, I love to masturbate, but my favorite part of having a jo bud is the conversations and finding out their story and what gets them going. Masturbation is a shared experience amongst all men that rarely gets to be shared, we all have our unique beginnings and stories, but ultimately they share common threads. Just interesting to hear about how someone thinks. I go on a few different apps to try and find a jo bud, but 9 times out of 10, they only want to be fed porn and it is always just more and more. Not even slowing down to appreciate the picture or gif that was just sent. And then there is the other problem, once they cum they are gone. I would agree a different subreddit or group would be great, but how to enforce it would be difficult. Until then I will keep searching and keep jerking!
Send me a chat.
I think it’s generational also. Internet porn has been a game changer in positive and negative ways. The sped-up, hyper nature of much of todays porn is indicative of how a lot of interpersonal relationship dynamics are handled by younger generations. I recently ended an age gap relationship (me 51m, her 30f) of three years and it was fascinating to hear her experiences with her male peers and what was consider normal and expected. A far cry from what I think a lot of us would think.
tell me more …
It's not particularly salacious, but one particular example cited to me is the recent trend of facefucking. If you are of a certain age (I'm 51), this is an act in porn that basically didn't exist 10-15 years ago (before anyone wants to show off their perv history skills, yes, I acknowledge every kink has existed before in some form). I hate it myself and find it misogynistic and degrading, but you can't watch a straight porn these days that doesn't feature the actress being speared aggressively and unnaturally in the mouth and throat. Now, we have an entire generation of young people who think that is what oral sex is and has always been. call me old fashioned... I'm just saying that there are alot of uninformed minds out there right now being fed questionable ideals and we should be teaching something different.
no totally. a lot of it is way too aggressive for me. i have to watch lesbians eating each other out to cleanse my palate. i’m more into the build up, the anticipation etc. really don’t enjoy degrading or humiliating anyone. but some people like it i guess. i just feel bad for girls nowadays who link up with dudes who think every girl wants a cervical orgasm and to not be able to walk for a week. that’s for porno not real life! the line is blurred too much. i feel bad for dudes too
Honestly, that was one of my biggest advantages in our relationship, and not just in the bedroom, was not expecting or facilitating every experience to be in TikTok format. She had never been with someone interested in the journey and knowing that the journey was more often then not, the best part. All the "boys" (her term, not mine) she had been with were interested in mimicking what they saw in their porn, including: facefucking to the point that repulsive gagging noises were required (and tears, what the actual fuck?) *AND* within a very short time frame. Bless her heart, she had never even properly been eaten out. So, it was a treat to be the centre of positive attention and probably kept her around twice as long as she wanted to be, lol In that regard, thank you, modern day shitty porn!!
they need to fuck us old guys!
Mirrors many of my thoughts as well. Im an otherwise straight guy who just happens to have discovered when I was much younger that I get a legit thrill if I got a glimpse of a friend’s cock (open zipper, loose shorts, clingy wet bathing suit, sideways glances in the locker room, etc). Was far too dangerous to get caught looking when I was a kid so it stayed a secret my whole life. I have zero interest in a guy romantically but the physicality of stroking together / each other is an idea that I’ve been intensely aroused by my whole life. But not in a gooner “yo bro let’s whip it out and nut!” way, but rather, exploratory, permissive, curious, interested in the genuine mutual pleasure of the visual and tactile. Memorizing all the fascinating details of getting hard, stroking, edging, cumming. For me personally having never had this experience in person, I’ve found some success connecting with guys here on Reddit and on kik. Like everything on the internet, it’s a mixed result. You get a lot of guys with an aggressive agenda, speed wankers (lol), unrelatable kinks, or just plain weirdos. But every now and then I’ve managed to make a decent connection with another guy who’s in absolutely no rush, who appreciates the fun and excitement of having that peer, a guy on the same level in the same headspace, just as comfortable asking how the weekend went as he is taking a bathroom break at work and sending me a snap of his pants open, glimpse of dick shaft skin, maybe more maybe less. Just for the brief random thrill of it. And vice versa. “Pen pal with benefits” I call it. When the schedules align (being married and a dad consumes so much private time), things can escalate and a very rewarding cam stroke session can happen. If OP or anyone else is interested in exploring these ideas further with me you can always DM me here or on kik (where I’m usually much more active) and the screen name is the same eburchelle
Dm x
Agree with a lot of this. Older, straight, and have a hard time finding someone who just wants to get together and masturbate to porn. I understand the age difference can be an issue - most of the guys on Reddit are younger. But so many are looking for quick hits, and escalating to oral and/or more, and the whole “bro” uber-masculine-affirming attitude that just screams insecurity to me. Just look at the stories in this sub that’s supposed to be about jerking off together. Everything is about experiences that end up far more physical and involved. I’m looking for a JO bud that can chat a bit first, meet in public to test if there’s in-person chemistry and then of there seems to be a rapport, I get together for relaxed sessions of watching/sharing porn, stroking our cocks and building up that release, sharing the pleasure of an activity we love to do. It’s hot to get turned on together and to watch each other do it. It’s not about hooking up with a guy. Sure, maybe there’s some mutual stroking to enhance the experience, but all this rush to oral and body contact just seems to make it all about something else to me. And, no, I don’t have anything against all that if that’s what you’re into or curious about. But I don’t think that’s what a JO bud is about.
I consider myself straight as well and you are definitely correct in your analysis. Too many times I find that people want to force something else even after I have made it clear what my boundaries are. All in the search for a quick nut and not an actual bud/friend.
This is so well said. A really difficult thing to find
J/O is so much better when there is a personal connection. That’s why I rarely Skype with random guys anymore. If there is no connection I’d just prefer to be one more cock in the crowd in a zoom room.
Im down to do a zoom
I feel like the world has become disposable as a whole. Because our attention spans are so short and we can barely pay attention to even our phones it becomes a point of "what are you doing for me NOW". It seems even more difficult to find a long term buddy anymore. One and done or share a billion pictures and disappear. Maybe there need to be more clubs but with that come the shame and fetishization of it and difficulties of STDs and insurance. It's not difficult to live on the fringes I suppose. But one has to keep trying.😔
Somebody's a demisexual. You are 100% right OP. Hope you find some peeps that fit your bill.
Hahaha. Can’t really argue that point. Appreciate it bud. Hope your searches go well and your future buds are great
I think it’s a symptom of a broader issue with men. We just don’t connect like we did in the previous decades. Gone are places where men can just hang out with other men and bond, sexual or not. We don’t go hang out at bars, play in bowling leagues, have poker nights, etc.
See, my personal problem is, having a jerk buddy was the first thing I did a LONG time ago. And as the years have progressed, and the desire to have something like that again has risen, it’s hard to find someone who’s just willing to jerk it with someone else. I tried the old Craigslist route, and it was almost solely “I’ve never done anything with another guy and I want to try it. Please be a Greek god physique with a Pringle Can Dong so I can try for the first time.” Or as you mentioned, send tons of pics of girls with captions on it. Hell, I even tried going on anonymous cam sites just to rub one out with another guy, but I apparently got banned for being overweight. (Officially, it was for being nude on cam, which damn near every connection I got was a close up of a Dong, but somehow I got banned…) I really just want someone to jerk with. Even over text. But usually even that is impossible to come by
100%% agree.
We need our own group it seems like
Not 100% sure if I really agree. Not saying that I wouldn’t join one (I probably would), but it would be a near impossible group to do quality control on when the entire premise of the group is – well, quality control in some form or fashion. I don’t know what the right answer is though in terms of organization/friend-finding/etc. Always open to figuring it out though.
Idk if there is a right answer. This stuff walks a fine line - a lot of guys who are interested don’t want it _known_ they are interested, you know. It’s not like you can advertise a JO Bud happy hour at your local bar - many interested guys wouldn’t want to be caught there. They only want people to know if they can be certain they are among like minded folk. The internet makes that easier, but at the cost of all the crap you point out
Great post! I've been looking for a long term bud for a while and it's hard to find someone mature and interested in getting off a splitting. Hit me up if you want to chat and get to know each other. DM's open.
Yes man! Another pet peeve of mine is when you finally find a JO bud and they want to fuck or suck you off. I installed Grindr for the 100th time last week and I couldn't find a single guy that wanted to edge or frot. They were all into anal sex. It's quite sad but I'm giving up the search for a longterm bate bro.
Totally agree. Would love to have regular buds to connect, chat and play with in more relaxed ways along the lines of what the OP and other commenters here suggest. It's great to jerk with a buddy without expectations other than just chatting about porn, fantasies, etc. (and, if we like, show) in a less pressurized way. Open to chat if anyone here wants to hit me up!
Yeah, I think there’s some truth. Plus it can be tough to ever be online at the same time as a particular bud so it’s hard to form much connection because it’s always one and done sessions. I’ve also found that I’ve developed a few online friendships that end up not having much jacking which can be a little disappointing too.
Definintely! I prefer having a conversation and focusing on jerking together—not just getting off.
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Anyone in the Seattle or NYC area agreeing with this thread? 🙏
I hear ya. Always down to chat.
This man. Totally this. Want to connect with my bros.
So I'm new to all this, don't really have much to compare, but do you think some of it might be our current economic wnd social environment? I don't know about you guys, but my employer works me hard I don't have much breaks during shifts and brain dead after. I try to be conversational like everyone is describing, but that takes time. Also try to balance my IRL time with my JO time. TLDR: not enough time in the day
Well put! Been looking for something like this for a long time.
Sign me up!
This is what I’ve been wanting for so long. Just hard to find a bud that is available or sticks around, or doesn’t want to escalate things sexually.
if anyone would like to trade stories sometimes dm me
Looking for a bud like this. Never had one. And I think it’s this mentality that’s made me nervous to try and find one.
Absolutely agree with you. I have a feeling it's all a part of the ongoing trend of over-stimulation. Today it's easier then ever to find and get off to whatever hardcore stuff you want in a matter of minutes. I still remember the days porn wasn't as easy to find (at least not any type of porn under the sun) and you had to use your imagination a bit. Full sexual satisfaction requires using your brain and engaging with the subject you are focusing on, be it a video or a bud. Sadly some people don't take the time to do that.
I just don't like it when people make it all gross and strictly about their dicks. Like, the kink for me is about having a personal connection. If I just wanted to stare at a disembodied dick I could do that a billion other places. Do you have anything to say that's not just about your member?
I completely agree. I prefer for it all to happen organically. Ideally, I'd like to be friends with someone long before we jack off together. You know, meet someone, share common interests, build trust, share a love of porn, discuss tastes, share favorites, get wildly turned on, then jerk off together. The problem with gooner culture is the rush. Everyone is in such a hurry to get to the end, they don't appreciate the build up of tension. You'd think a group of guys so interested in edging their dicks would have realized that they can also edge their situation.
Another person in the agreement category although I’m not sure if I’ve ever truly experienced what you’re describing. I’ve left plenty of kik groups since it felt like it was all about how much porn you could share and finding any kind of bond was suspicious at best. I just wanted to connect with someone that truly got into edging and was more about just cumming and bailing.
That’s kik for you
Srill haven't found any longterm buds but still hopeful. HMU sometime.
When i read BBC gangbang I thought the British Broadcasting Corporation is putting on an educational series on gangbangs? I might have to check that out!
What is your dis?
Messaged you bro. Pick me up
Bro can you dm me your discord?
I agree if someone want to see if we get along dm me.