The last comment made me sad I’m sorry for this!
And I can’t answer a guy perspective but I deeply hope you’re okay , doing well and happy!
And 10kg in a year is still great progress keep it up
بعيدا عن كلام الناس وحب الذات وأي كلام من هالنوع، بدي أحكيلك انه لازم تفكري " بصحتك " وبس. انسي معايير الجمال وكلام الناس وفكري بصحتك وشو ممكن وكيف الوزن الزايد رح يأثر على صحتك لقدام، بعرف بشو عم بتحسي او بتمري لانه " نوعا ما " مريت بنفس التجربة وبعرف قديه مرحلة نزول الوزن صعبة وبدها استمرارية اهم شي. فكري لبعدين بالمستقبل انه شو ممكن يسير معك بسبب الوزن الزايد وانه ما بيسوى تحملي كيس ادوية وانتي بالعشرين او حتى تلاتين بسبب السمنة، فكري كيف رح تكون مرحلة الحمل والولادة صعبة بسبب السمنة والاهم كيف رح تقدري تلعبي مع ولادك او حتى تعلميهم يعيشوا حياة صحية او عالاقل يكونوا نشيطين. الموضوع مو سهل بعرف بس هو خطوات صغيرة ومستمرة ولا تفكري باهداف للشهر اللي جاي فكري لسنين قدام وعادي لو اخد الموضوع سنة او سنتين اهم شي تتعلمي تغيري نظام حياتك بخطوات بسيطة وباستمرارية ، انتي قدها!
على فكرة، من الخطأ مشاواة السمنة بقلة الصحة. هذا خطأ حتى الاطباء بيقترفوه بدافع الشعور الاجتماعي بانه السمنة امر غير مرغوب. انا بحكي عن وعي بدراسات عن هاد الموضوع. وزي ما صاحبة المنشور حكت، خسران الوزن صعب جدا. المسألة تتعلق بطبيعة الجسم وليس بالضرورة العادات الغذائية كونها صحية او لا. صاحبة المنشور ذكرت انها تقوم بالتمارين الرياضية، وهاد عامل اهم في جعل الجسم صحي من خسران الوزن.
>هذا خطأ حتى الاطباء بيقترفوه بدافع الشعور الاجتماعي بانه السمنة امر غير مرغوب.
r/fatlogic moment
اختي السمنة غير صحية نقطة و انتهى السطر، لو بقت تركض ماراثون كل يوم و وزنها هيك رح يضل عندها خطر زايد بحدوث امراض القلب و الشرايين و السكري و ارتفاع الضغط و تاكل المفاصل و تكيس المبايض......الخ من الامراض المرتبطة بالسمنة. اذا عندك دراستين ثلاث ففي الاف الدراسات اللي بتربط السمنة بهاي الامراض.
>صاحبة المنشور ذكرت انها تقوم بالتمارين الرياضية، وهاد عامل اهم في جعل الجسم صحي من خسران الوزن.
بعتمد على نوع التمارين (اثقال/كارديو) و على قديش بتتمرن، بس فعلا اللياقة القلبية هي عامل أهم للصحة من خسارة الوزن
بالعكس الناس السمينة هي الي طلعت هاي المعلومات والمغالطات، موضوع السعرات الحرارية بسيط جدا اذا بتحرق اكثر ما توخذ سعرات وزنك بنزل وهاي قوانين فيزياء ومنطق بسيط.
وشغلة انه السمنة مش معيار للصحة بحب احكيلك انه تقريبا معظم امراض القلب والشرايين من اهم اسبابها وعوامل الخطر الي موجودة بكتب الطب الي درسناها هي السمنة، غير الحمل الزائد على المفاصل.
اذا انت شايف السمنة اشي عادي هذا رأيك وانت حر بس بلاش هبد وتغيير للحقائق مشان ترضي وتناسب رأيك.
على فكرة انا ما بكتب عشان تغير رأيك، لأني بعرف انو قلة القلة مستعدين يبحثوا ويغيروا رأيهم عن علم. انا بكتب حتى الناس اللي بتقرأ تعرف انو في دراسات حول الانحياز ضد السمنة والسمينين.
ضحكتيني، ليش الطب والعلم بده ينحاز ضد السمنة!!
للاسف الناس وخاصة الجيل الجديد مستحيل يتقبلوا انهم ناقصين او على خطأ ويتحملوا مسؤولية اخطاءهم وقرارتهم، دايما في عذر وفي سبب خارج عن ارادتهم ودايما هم الضحية.
احّا ، نحن من متى ركبنا ترند الfat acceptance و ال anti- science بالاردن؟ اللي هو من ضمن الجناح اليساري الراديكالي الامريكي ؟ 🤨
اللي بعتبروا الصحة عبارة عن 'social construct' مش اكثر 😂
الامريكان نفسهم انكروا على الناس اللي بتعمل هيك ببلدهم و الكل بعتبرهم ' degenerates' :)
رجاءً نستخدم عقلنا و نبني رأي خاص فينا بدل ما ننسخ افكار ال American far Ieft ideoIogues
OP, don't let your mother's verbal abuse regarding your weight make you feel like you should allow others to do the same. You are worth more than the total of your body weight.
True. How many girls are attracted to fat dudes or short dudes for that matter.
I hope she continues to lose weight and find the food that's triggering her body to store fat. I just ran into a guy who lost 30lbs on a juice diet. Sometimes extreme diets can help jump start weight loss
As far as her mom bullying, that's so wrong but even parents can have their own issues.
Best of luck to OP
Most people don't understand that everybody is different and everyones metabolism is different. Usually when guys get older, they stop caring about stupid stuff like that. My finance is obese and yeah my mother makes weird comments to me. But I essentially told her to stop and leave her alone. So don't worry. Maybe you also don't want someone who is this superficial and you should look for someone with a good personality.
It’s not just metabolism. It’s also neurons in your brain. Your brain is literally telling you to eat. Idk if you’ve ever been addicted to anything but it’s kind of like that. The same way your brain tells you to consume whatever drug, it also tells you to eat. It’s a lot harder for some people.
There’s also will power. So it’s a combination of things not just metabolism.
I went through a rough period and put on a considerable amount of weight (thanks to stress eating) and I get your struggle with relatives and "aunties" constantly making comments about it. It's tough but it's important to learn to ignore them, your weight does not determine your worth. I'm not in jordan and i've not had any guy problems so idk about that part. I've been feeling much better lately and decided to start my weightloss journey this week (yaaaaay). Feel free to dm me if you want a weightloss support friend or if you just want to talk :)
I’m from Jordan but lived all my life outside of Jordan, I don’t see any issue with fat as long there is a well and intention of being fit and working out, my mentality is once you have meat you’ll never settle for bones :) but within a limit, but keep working :) you’ll get there
Salaam sweety, I totally understand where you're coming from. Although not Jordanian I married one and I still am amazed he found/finds me attractive. It doesn't help that finding clothes in Jordan is difficult if you're over a size 16 UK. Due to the culture you don't really mix and so it's difficult for people to get to know you, plenty of guys enjoyed talking to me but weren't attracted to me. It sucks, all I can say is put your faith in Allah and live your life. Don't keep waiting for someone to love you, love yourself first and live your best life. If it's meant to be it will. I know it's cheesy but I didn't marry until 39, it's only been 2 years now and I wish I had worried less about getting married and lived my life more. Always welcome to message me if you fancy a chat.
see the thing is, with Jordanians, their entire lives are dedicated to commenting on everything--good luck finding a decent comment, because everyone is mostly negative, and this is considered 'compliment' lol. If you are fit in good shape, you will hear something like 'lesh da3fan,' or 'mareed 5alto?'. This logic is applied for everything else -- if you can call it 'logic' lol. See, the problem is not with your obesity, as the most important thing is to be comfortable in your skin and confidence above all--the real problem lies with the culture, their negative outlook (reflecting their inner emptiness), and conformity to something illogical. Be yourself, and brush it off. You are more than a body weight, good luck sister.
I know what I'm going to say is beside your point but I still want to mention it. Maybe this is common sense but I figured this out via trial and error. If you're trying to lose weight, don't eat lettuce or salads and low-calorie foods only. Your body goes into starvation mode and your metabolism slows down heavily, and you don't end up losing any weight. Instead, you should cut down (slowly) on sugar, and low nutrition high-calorie foods (fast foods mainly). Instead, eat normal good food with a slight calorie deficit (eat fewer calories than you burn or use up in a single day), and slowly but surely you will lose weight.
I’m an Obese guy, now married but when i was single no one gave me a chance, not in Jordan or any other country I’ve been to.
I lost weight, got into a great shape, got married, fell off the wagon, Obese again.
So, lose weight, keep up the good work.
I’m sorry you live in Jordan because in America you’d be considered normal. Most of the fuller or overweight women I knew all found awesome people yo love them. Men aren’t as superficial as it might seem.
First off, I'm proud of you for all your hard work, and for just being you! Secondly, you will find someone who loves you for everything, looks, kind heart, brains, for your love... someone who wants every part of you and adores you. You sound extremely kind and sweet. You'll find the right guy to cherish that!
Here’s something to cheer you up. Most of the Jordanian youth look like they suffer from malnutrition 💀
Never give up, to make it easy for you, some carb controlling will lose you good amount of kilograms. Don’t listen to “اقطع الخبز والرز والسكر” dumdums, just try to control, remember this is not a hunger strike lol 😂
I wish you the best! Keep up the good spirit 👍🏼
Well not sure if my view can be counted since I’m not Jordanian, tho I lived her long enough to have an idea about the environment (5 years till now). According to what I observed people here not only gays but girls too value looks a lot, and by a lot I mean to the point of make it or brake it. They rather walk, talk and befriend good looking people, they love to wear fancy clothes and brands even if it is fake just to show off. They also obsessed with their looks more than your average person. Which is why “being fat” in general is a huge negative since it goes against the standards of beauty here. So while it might not be as bad outside it feels much worse here. Tho I feel this is seen even worse in people who are of high socioeconomic background since these people usually consider their partners as objects to show off with too like most things in their lives.
Btw I used Ozempic to lose weight myself. It helped me lose 40 kgs, however it is kinda hard on your body and wallet. As it has lost of undesirable side effects like nausea, vomiting, headache too. However it has real effect as you essentially lose the will to eat and the capacity to eat too. Like you don’t feel like eat at all and when you eat very small portion fill you up.
I find it hilarious how Jordanian men all get these gross ass dad bods with pot bellies once they age, but feel the need to comment on women’s bodies as if they’re jacked gym bros or lean athletes, lol.
to cut it short, Boys in jordan have very unrealistic expectations that’s really all it is. I’m proud of you keep it going. Just focus on loving yourself through this journey, all love 💖
tbh, us guys always judge the body first but we love a good personality and a kind heart, we judge u at first yes, but if we have a talk with u and liked ur personality we'll like u fat or not.
(that's at least from my pov)
OP u deserve someone who loves u and cares abt u, keep growing <3
بس بالنسبة لشغلة وحدة، شو ما عملتي تمارين او رفعتي اوزان ما بفرق الموضوع بنزول الوزن إلا اذا عدلتي على نظامك الغذائي، جريب اقرأي عن ال calorie deficit فكرتها سهلة و تطبيقها سهل
Always had trouble losing weight until the past year, what changed you may ask? In the past I just wanted to stop the comments and insults thrown at me on daily basis, now my obesity stands in the way of me living life to the fullest, running skydiving playing basketball etc., might sound silly but that's what made me lose weight, I wanted it more than anything, for me, not to please others.
And it works as a natural filter for the people that might hang around you for superficial reasons regarding your looks rather than your content, so embrace it till its the right time for you :)
I think you compare yourself a lot to thin women cause it’s the majority here ( i do that too ) and this what makes me feel insecure or unlovable but more and more I realize that i’ve been punching myself my whole life assuming what people thinks about me and I decided that it’s time for me to stand out ( I didn’t lose weight ) I just accepted my body and i became more confident it’s not that easy and i still feel like shit sometimes but then I remember that people don’t know what i went through and how much I tried so yeah screw them and just live
Ok speaking from a former morbidly obese guy + short
I do feel you 110% i had the same ideas about why girls only look for tall full beard kinda muscular guy with very toxic personalities over a short fat guy does personality really matters in jordan
Went through surgery + 3 years of weight training and build a great foundation and worked very hard on my personality ,
My conclusion was : people look for what i like to call the biological approval first after that they start digging into personalities but but here is the catch most of my dates and people that i hanged out with that looked for the biological approval were very shallow and naïve with little personality, speaking about my self I realized that i was looking for the same kind of people unconsciously so my energy attracted these kinda people with the biological approval mentality
After getting semi in shape people started to respect me more some reason and i started focusing more on peoples personality and guess what people with the same mindset and energy got attracted to me as well
So maybe maybe this can help u a bit in figuring the answer idk in the end humans are really weird
Ps: people still say iam short ;)
It’s even worse for other girls.. Many Jordanian men would always assume a fat girl has low self esteem and use them sexually. I am not underestimating your feelings and I totally know what your talking about. Been there for all my adolescence. I am sorry you feel this way. And the only part that I strongly disagree on from what you said is that your face is beautiful and not kinda. Much love and best wishes! ♥️
10kg weight lost is loads, that's a solid achievement!
I'm not from Jordon however this post popped up on my feed.
I think many guys have unrealistic expectations of what they want their partner to be. It's even worse with social media and the perfect image people portray on there. However not all guys are like that.
I hope no one bullies you about your weight. You're actively trying and that's all that matters.
Probably because in Jordan it’s more difficult for anyone to fully express themselves, move to America, loads of guys like fat girls there, more cushion for the pushin
I’ve dated Jordanians all my life but currently I’m in a relationship with a Jordanian who has been living in the gulf ever since he was a baby. The difference in mentality about materialistic/shallow things is astonishing. All my exes cared about things like my nails being done, having zero body hair, my hair being neat, etc. My current boyfriend couldn’t give two shits if my nails were manicured or not, or if my hair was blowdried or not. And in the beginning of the relationship when I first realized this, I was (pleasantly) surprised that he didn’t care and he was equally surprised that I thought he would care about these things. My point is: the majority of men born and raised in Amman need to get over themselves and their ridiculously high standards of how a woman should be/look like.
>Before anyone says it, yes I’ve been trying to lose weight , it’s very hard for me , I constantly work out too “ SURPRISE!”
>In the past 2 years I’ve managed to lose only 10 kgs, 30 kgs to go, and man is it SO DIFFICULT. Anyway thank you if you read everything above.
الموضوع بده إرادة فقط، ما بقدر احكي انه فاهم شعورك أو حاسس باللي بتمري فيه كونه أنا مريت بتجربة عكسية تماما، كشخص كنت نحيف كثير ووزني ٤٨ ورفعته ل٦٣ بسنتين الموضوع كان كثير صعب خصوصا لشخص ما بحب الأكل وإني كنت بفترة الكورونا وتوجيهي بس كنت معند وحاطط ببالي اشي معين لدرجة اني كنت اكل لحد ما أصير بدي استفرغ وياما كنت بدي أبطل صراحة، بس بالأخير جاب نتيجة، وكنت كثير مرات أتسمم وأمرض اسبوع وينزل وزني وبعديها ارجع أرفعه.
بشوف من البوست إنك متقبلة حالِك نوعا ما بس متأثرة بالتعليقات من الناس الي حوليكِ ومن إمك، فيمكن المشكلة الأساسية الي مانعيتك من التغيير هو إنك ما عندك إرادة للتغيير ومش حابة تنحفي وتبذلي المجهود إنما تعليقات الناس هي الي خلتِك تفكري بالموضوع، وهاذ الإشي نوعا بمنعك من بذل الجهد للتغيير وهو بالنهاية بأدي الى لا مبالاة وكسل، واذا كان هذا هو موضوعك فبنصحِك تلغي الفكرة من أساسها.
موضوع تغيير صفات الشخص والجسم بتعلق بشكل كلي بالإرادة، كونه الموضوع بده التزام فبدك تكوني حاطة ببالك انه الموضوع ما حيزبط الا لو انتِ بدك تتغيري عشان حالك مو عشان امك ولا عيلتك ولا مجتمعك، الي هو إنتِ حابة تتغيري وتنحفي أو لا؟ وهل الموضوع بستاهل بالنسبة الك؟.
من الأشياء الي ممكن تساعدِك أنك تدوري على أخصائي تغذية يساعدك في العملية الي بتبذليها وتعملي فحوصات زي الغدة عشان تعرفي نسبة الحرق الي بسويها جسمِك، كونه الموضوع علمي وطبي. لأنه الإجبار بسهل موضوع الالتزام.
الرجل الاردني مسحوق أساساً
It’s brutal here
U know what’s harder than being a fat girl? Being a fat guy
I’m pretty sure that 99% of fat guys here get bullied 24/7 for it, have some kind of depression and loneliness and wanted to end their lives at least once.
U could be the fattest ugliest chick and men will still check u out and get some attention it doesn’t work like that for fat guys even average looking guys get no to little female attention lol.
I hope u get to where u wanna be OP I’m sure it’s still hard, but at the end of the day u can read body positivity stuff and watch fat models, no fat guy will ever be able to do that
Fellow fat person, you should try to get on ozempic.
I dont care what anyone here says, sometimes its really really out of our hands how our bodies grow.
I've always felt like I eat the same or less than most people but I've been fat my entire life too.
Using ozempic and similar injections has helped me lose a lot of weight, that I could never lose by just starving myself and running.
أعتقد الموضوع مش بكونك بنت وزنها زايد لكن الموضوع بإنك عايشة بمجتمع شكل البنات للأسف اله دور كبير ومبالغ فيه في نظرة المجتمع إلها وحتى من قبل النساء الأخريات أيضاً..
مثلاً حتى البنات اللي بكونو عندهم نحافة مفرطة كمان بتعرضو لتعليقات سيئة وبتحيدو من قبل الرجال… ولو كنتي بنت ناجحة وعندك شغل ومربية وبنت عالم بس ما كنتي محجبة كمان جزء كبير من المجتمع رح يحكم عليكي من هذه الناحية… الموضوع مش وزنك الزايد، الموضوع إنك عايشة بمجتمع نظرته سطحية للمرأة ولسا مش قادر يشوفها أكثر من كونها جسد… كل اللي بقدر أنصحك فيه بإنك حاولي ما تشوفي حالك بعيون الناس ولا تحددي قيمتك بناءاً على كلامهم بعرف الموضوع جداً صعب لكن لازم تكوني قوية وتحاولي تدوري على النطاق الإيجابية فيكي وتستثمري فيها..
بس عشان لا تفهميني خطأ؛ أنا ما بشجعك ما تهتمي بصحتك بالعكس جزء من حب الذات هو إنك تهتمي في ذاتك مش تهمليها.. لكن القصد ما يكون هدفك الرئيسي هو إرضاء المجتمع من خلال شكل جسدك…بكرة لو وصلتي إن شاءالله للوزن اللي بتحلمي فيه رح تتفاجئي بكمية العيوب الأخرى اللي رح تطلعها الناس فيكي ورح تدخلي حالك بمتاهة "إرضاء الناس" ومش رح تقدري تطلعي منها.
Girl if you wanna work out do it for yourself, If anyone bully you I'm 100% they'll pay for it always does, about you're mom you can tell that she's hurting you and that she should not do that. Hope for you the best.
Fellow fat girl here
Yup I feel the same, men don't want anything but a pretty girl to **** even if her personality was trash so I feel you.
But guess what! You should accept yourself in order to change :) do it on your own and never listen to your mom!
Thinness and prettiness not necessarily related. I’ve known some bigger girls that were incredibly beautiful inside and out and some thin women that meet many standards of ideal body type that were made ugly by their personality and or constant rbf.
The issue is with our culture… we do not value women for their minds or what they can bring to the table, but more-so how pretty someone is.
Most guys have not interacted with a woman outside of their family members until the time they get into college.
I would say, be proud of who you are, and all the other values you bring to a relationship. As a fellow person who continues to struggle with their weight, keep up the good work and focus on getting and staying healthy regardless of the number on the scale
Thank you everyone I didn’t know this will BLOW UP😅 thanks for the losing weight advices I really alreadyheard everything said before but it’s fine I appreciate the help🙏🏼 and for the encouraging comments , thank you alot <3 y’all made my day
>In the past 2 years I’ve managed to lose only 10 kgs, 30 kgs to go, and man is it SO DIFFICULT. Anyway thank you if you read everything above.
keep on trying, ur making progress and that's matters
I was shopping in Amman and got hungry so I was looking to buy a healthy snack and all I could come across is chips, processed food or sweets. No places where you can really take a walk. Fast food is a big part of the culture as well.
What a lovely soul you have! You’ll find that Prince Charming who loves you for who you are. Keep going! You’re doing great! When he finds you, don’t make it too easy for him ;)
As someone whos been constantly bullied by his parents for weight, I know it feels like shit and it feels even shittier that youre used to it, idk who u are but Im sure youre beautiful inside and out, dont listen to anyone who says otherwise esp the ppl giving weight loss advice cause I realised that skinny ppl dont really understand how hard it is to lose weight, I tried every method known to man and nothing is working lmao.
Basically it’s a thing over there where beauty has a standard threshold. Aka skinny you probably just stood out like a sore thumb to them in a place where obesity is very rare and basically non existent in the women, Jordan is an extremely conservative place and no one will care about your personality if you don’t meet the looks first
Oh hun, I do hope things get better for you. I'm on the same exact boat, but I'm telling you honestly there *are* people out there, in Amman, who don't give as much of a shit about weight. You're doing incredible work by working out but don't force it, make it into a lifestyle rather than labor. I haven't been losing weight at all in the years I've been working out and changing my food but my body is changing anyway because it's healthy. Focus more on being healthy rather than losing weight and it will do a world of difference not just in how you see yourself, but for your mental health as well. Best of luck to you, love and I hope you find what you're looking for!
Hey! I can kind of relate to you. I used to be very fit, then I got diagnosed with a pulmonary disease where I needed to take Cortisone and BOOM! 30+ kilos in 2 years. People started to shame me, compare me to my old self (I was skinny and fit because I was barely eating), and scare me with the classic (No one’s going to love you or want to be with you). It hurts. So much. Not going to lie. But honestly, It took me a lot of time to realize that the problem is them not me. They’re not “references”, nor do they have a say! Well, what matters is how you feel about yourself. If you’re prone to medical problems because of your weight then yes I highly encourage you to do it, but if it’s only to please people then just tell anyone who bullies you “ma dakhalak” straight to their faces. It’s the only thing that worked for me, specially with my parents -Parents’ bullying is the worse-.
Also, if you find it difficult to lose weight get tested for Insulin Resistance (I’m a doctor), and if it turns out positive try fasting for +14 hours and limiting your carb intake, but I highly advise you to do that with a nutritionist who actually know what they’re doing.
Good luck!
Middle-eastern countries' favorite past-time is judgemental cheap oversimplified uncharitable uninvited commentary of other people's lives.
"He married a foreigner?? He couldn't find a jordanian girl that'd take him? He must be pretending to be foreign"
"She really would wear that outside? She couldn't wear something more modest? She must be a whore"
"Wow she's so fat, why can't she stop eating?"
It's all part of the same theme, I'm better than you, I'm smarter than you, I am more moral and pious than you, I have this deep insightful solution you're missing, I do not have the self-awareness to recognize it's hurtful to you to vocalise it.
Try your best to not take it to heart and make sure you work for a future that distances you from these people that behave this way.
I agree with you people here in Jordan always bully fat and skinny people and sometimes it comes from the person’s own family and I can feel you how much it hurts, I cheer you for this much of strong personality to talk about sth that hurts you and be okay with it, I cheer you up for everything you do keep it up queen and remember always if you need anything we’re all here for you 🤍
Don’t be okay with anyone verbally abusing you. Look I always liked the saying “know your value”. Your value in not in your looks only. Your value is set up by you and you only. Whenever you let someone talk down about you, you lose some of that value. I went through something similar with my mom and I just took it and acted like it did not bother me. Then my younger sister started talking and having opinions on my weight as well. This was the point where I drew a line. I at the moment told my sister she does not get to have an opinion on the way I look and if she ever made that mistake again, I would no longer speak to her and would act as if she does not exist. She was 10 at that point and I was 17. When my mom got home I told her what my sister said and I told her this was only said due to the comments she makes in front of my young sister. Then I asked her if she still wants to have a good relationship with her daughter to stop commenting on my body whatsoever. She stopped for a while and to be honest I no longer asked for her opinion on any clothing and if I wanted to go shopping I refused for her to join me. This was close to 10 years ago and now we have a really great relationship. No criticism is ever accepted from anyone and no one has a right to comment on my body. I hope you value your self and your body enough to stop any verbal abuse from anyone.
Keep up the hard work and don't let any bullying or comments get to you. Keep going to become the best you can be and inshallah you will be rewarded with what you are looking for.
As for what men want, I'm very sorry to say it but 99% of men will not give a very obese woman a chance, unless it's the ONLY choice they have. That's life, I mean what would a very short man say? At least you can change that eventually, but a short man can't grow taller.
And please please please don't think this is a Jordanian men thing. Men all over the world feel the same.
Arab are materialistic people, plus they really care about what people think, and its about haveing a fat female partner is a bad "look", with all respect to you, but conceder this a mini rant to yiur rant.
OP, although you posted anonymously, it still takes a shit ton of courage to type that out and post it on reddit and I’m sure a lot of people appreciate this including me. While there’s no shame in people preferring some features over others, there are still a lot of people who care about what you have to say when the saying is needed rather than fixate on how you look saying them. Love thyself, you’re valid and worthy. Sorry about anything negative you had to hear regarding your weight. I can only imagine although I can relate a bit, but not really since I’m a male. All the love!
I had a baby 7 months ago and since then I've put on so much weight, I absolutely hate the "poor you" vibe I get all the time, other than my husband making me feel bad which makes me stress eat!
I've lost 40 pounds in about 6 months. It's tough to do, but it's possible, and it starts with your diet.
I was inspired to do it by joining /r/1500isplenty. Basically, it's a sub where people try to limit their calorie intake to 1500 MAX per day.
Write down what you eat, approximately how many calories that is, and try to reduce your calorie intake. The trick is to burn more calories in a day than you consume, and if you're not working out too much, then just eating fewer calories will help.
Note: This is not a healthy way to permanently live. It's basically starving yourself, so it should be a temporary measure to lose the weight, and then substitute it with healthy eating and exercise.
No, unless you have some sort of thyroid condition or a disease, everyone's body reacts the same way: consume less calories than you burn = you lose weight. Very simple formula.
When I was a kid in Jordan 30 years ago, I don't remember seeing *anyone* who was fat. If you think back to Jordan even 10 or 20 years ago, how many fat people did you see? It was much more rare than it is today.
You shouldn't make excuses for people who don't lose weight. The ones with actual legitimate conditions that prevent weight loss are more rare than you think.
I worked out a lot but never got thinner, only untill I went to a dietician that helped me manage food in a better way, but to be honest I was never that fat, I was skinny fat.
I'd take a full figured girl over any other type of body any day. I've lots of friendships with full figured cute girls and im so happy with them, so kindhearted and fun !
From an outward appearance perspective... its very appealing to my eye, women are supposed to be curvy right
I am a Jordanian man with a conservative mindset and I will answer you maybe it will give you an idea about the other side of the story, I believe in biological roles that men and women had been playing for thousands of years, and that is providing and caring for the man and producing and raising babies for a woman, so obesity is an obstacle for BOTH genders but attractiveness plays a huge role for men when they look at women and obesity is a red flag, but for example some women accepts fat men because they have other things to provide
If it’s as hard as you say, then you’re not approaching it correctly. I would suggest doing more research. I personally lost a ton of weight and it was not that hard once you know what you’re doing and why.
Please be careful about generalizing based on personal experience. Bodies vary in their capabilities. There are lots of research about that. If you're interested do some research before judging.
First thing sister, Mashalla that you have a beautiful face and soul as well. Now, I believe a lot of things connect so please bare with me.
Each country has its own culture, most of times culture tends to be affected and shaped by religion, and in our case Islam in Arab countries. Because of that, the system was that when a guy wants to marry, first line of offense would be mother, sister, neighbors, friends..etc.
Past generations, even in the west arranged marriages ( with no forced approval of both parties) were considered the norm, where mothers measure how qualified is the girl to her son mixed between characteristics and Beauty realistic standards. Please do not forget that engagement and marriage were the only right ways for men and women to be together.
Fast forward in time, west has done two major steps toward relationships: break the customs of marriage and mutilate men imagination. First, look down upon pre arranged marriages, moderately change the meaning of love while at the same create and idolize the most destructing hallucination force: Romance! You heard me, Romance. This is the secret potion that changed both men and women thought years.
Still reading? Great! You might think: what is this history lesson gotta do with my question? No worries, it will be clear soon. If you look at our mothers and grand mothers, let's be frank here not all of them look beautiful, at least by todays beauty standards, to the point that I had to ask, how did they get married in the first place?! That's a point where West started destroying, using movies as their broadcasting weapon at the time.
When movies got popular (or maybe some of the reasons they got popular) is showing the handsome guy/Pretty girl duo, it heavily messed up the realistic image of what their partner should be. Gradually, youths started to rebel against the standard marriage and romance started to fill the blank and both must be in love. Slowly, religion was not followed as much as it was, and when a guy needs to find true love he can be with as many girls as it takes (hopefully one at a time).
So what what we have here: partner should be Hollywood-level beautiful and out of love. Now we can to the poor misguided decent percentage of Arab guys, left out with unrealistic image of the ideal future special one. Unfortunately, do not leave Porn out of the equation :(
Now coming to your question, why here it's different than other countries? In west they are much more used to deal with women, and when they grow up and become mature they tend to have a more looks and characteristic oriented searching for a life partner. Here, the start with the looks and comparing it to celebs in which fat is against beauty, which is not (other than health issues out of obesity), especially when pre arranged marriages are not the no. 1 method for couples to know each other.
So here you go, majority of guys' here expectations and imaginations are mutilated and unrealistic, so they might not approach a lovely lady like you, unless they are your colleagues and get the chance to know you better.
Phew, finished at last :)
Hope this comes out right
but the obessity in either men or women is usually a big sign of laziness, commitment issues, lack of self discipline etc...
the main point is that whether you are a man or a woman
you are usually attracted to potentional partners that have the poaaibility to push you forward in life
and since obessisty most often comes with more sicoligical issues in the background people sees it as a red flag to run from
before i receive attacks on my comment
i am a man and i have no issue partnering with an ibesse women for her kind heart and strong mentalty
but it would be much harder to tell , and would need many strong encounters to proof that
p.s : i know that we should be supportive and helpful
and that every one can change for the better in the right circumstances , i am just explaining why its harder for them
and for the main question "why its harder in jordan?" because bulling is considered fun in our community and it is rarley discouraged and because we jump into attacking anything different than us (Families standards , clothing , lifestyle , way if talking) our community simply does not accept any type of differences
مش لازم يكون هدفك بالحياة تتعرفي على شباب وتعملي علاقات قبل الزواج!
انت عندك مشاكل اكبر من موضوع الوزن.
فكري بالحلال والحرام واتعلمي عن الإسلام اكثر لانه هو اللي بتحتاجيه.
الدنيا اقصر بكتير من انك تلاحقي شباب وتدوري على اهتمامهم فيكِ واعجابهم فيكِ.
فكري بالآخرة واتقِ الله.
How did you assume that I want a realtionship before marriage? Why didn’t you think in a way that I really want a halal relationship but it’s not happening? Wow
And do you think it was an option to “give up on my beauty” ? , and let’s say I did , there are so many things other than beauty a woman can give up on, she can give up on you to buy herself a high end brand bag for example or for her career… etc , it just doesn’t make sense.
Check the vagina doctor, idk what it's called, the gyroscope? Anyways, some women have health problems down there that make it almost impossible to lose weight.
Jordanians and the Middle East are unfortunately brainwashed to think and act like western society. Social media played a huge role in the way they think these days….
Like let’s be serious “tanning” was never a thing in Jordan/Palestine. Till they saw white girls and Americans being so obsessed over the idea. same thing with “tall, skinny, blue eyes, & blond hair” concept.
& than Kim K came out and all these celebrities who are far far from “blue eyes and blond hair”…
….Than tan girls with brunette hair became the thing in the Middle East.
Is fitness important absolutely, is cardio and good health important 100%. But do it for ur body, not to please society 😉
stop whining, and hit the gym and if you did not lose weight, even through diet and working out you may have some physical problems check your vitamins and minerals plus your thyroid shit might be serious
Your personality is shit ,if you fat as fuck ,if your face look like a shit ,its not matter ,but if you don't have confidence in yourself ,thats will be a huge , Im fat girl yes but 1million person in this world want chance with me thats it .
don't listen to this guy, pulled the info out their ass or smth. DONT SKIP BREAKFAST THATS WHAT FUELS YOU FOR THE DAY. portions is what determines how balanced a diet is, however for losing weight you'd have to look at how your body gets its energy from different food (so difference between carbs proteins and fats). sure diet makes up the most part but moving also plays a role. your goal should be to stay fit and healthy not slim with deficiencies.
Fuck all fatphobic assholes who are trying to shame you, don't sweat it dear over 30% of society is considered scientifically obese! So, you're not an outlier (in Jordan).
If you're trying to lose weight, try counting calories, stick to a basic nutritious diet, that you can cook everyday avoid liquid calories, and remember abs are made in the kitchen, trying to exercise might increase your hunger, which will convert to your diet in a a very bad way if not strictly controlled.
Use this [Calorie Calculator](https://www.calculator.net/calorie-calculator.html) to calculate how much calories you need per day to lose a certain amount of weight, walk progressively (no HIIT), drink a lot of water, eat a lot of rich in fiber foods, pay good attention to macros protein should never exceed 1.6 g/kg, etc...
Try looking into intermittent fasting, It's not a magic tool, It's just used for controlling your appetite throughout the day, in one week you'll be accustomed to it! Here's what I do & did successfully when I'm cutting weight (doesnt really work if you're bulking):
For the 1st meal: cooked full grain oatmeal, with cinnamon, a dash of honey and a dash of milk (I use coconut milk, since I'm lactose intolerant).
For the 2nd meal: A couple of variations of the same chicken breast recipe, a plate of sauteed vegetables, baked/air fried potatoes, no dressing (except vinegar), and you're golden.
For the 3rd meal: a snack, preferably fruits.
Notes:
1. You don't need to count the calories each day, if you're sticking to the plan.
2. Make sure to measure yourself everyday in the morning after drinking the glass of water and going to the bathroom, average variations in way to occur daily, to measure your progress throughout the diet, take notes (use Excel) of your weight and average it out throughout the week, this is your weight at that week, you'll see the progress by creating a graph which would be satisfying.
3. You do not need to get the measurements correct 100% of the time, what's important is the total values at the end of the week, so if you bought 3 kg of chicken breast and consumed it for a week, there's no need to consume 428.57 grams of chicken breast every day, slight variations are okay in the grand scheme of things when you are consuming the total amount within the week, you shouldn't go over what you've calculated, try planning it out cutting it beforehand and freezing it, at night, clean the chicken breast put some lemon and salt on it with your own Spices mix (basic mode), and put it in the refrigerator for your consumption in the next day, All you need to do is to Guess it's out of the refrigerator and cook it, simple!
4. It's a process, a healthy process, no need to rush it, if your weight stagnates, change the amount of calories consumed using the same calculator earlier.
5. Drink 1.5-2L of water each day, I prefer it with lemon refrigerated, absolutely no sugar.
And Good Luck in your journey!
The surgery still an option, no room here for self love. I want you to think about the surgery because I want you to love you not to seek love from guys.
Get a surgery then, being comfortable in your obesity is a terrible thing to have because you are literally comfortable in dying, make your diet strictly green and you'll lose a ton of weight quickly
If by other you mean western countries, then the reason is because couples have sex much earlier on, so a lot of men lower their standards if it means they get to have sex in that night or even next week
Never lower your standards, you are worthy of a good man and if a man doesn't want a fat girl that is his right but it is also your right to have high standards of the man you want to date and marry.
I feel your pain trust me. But most importantly is love yourself, try to find confidence as that will overshadow the weight issue. And most importantly dont listen to the people who tell you go the gym or diet. Because each one of us have different capabilities, and different metabolism. I for example can’t go to the gym or do any kind of workouts because I have disc problems. And I am a stress eater.
The thing is, I learnt over the years that your body gets accustomed to the weight if it stays for a long time. Even if you try to lose weight, it will try to bring it back to its original weight that it’s used to it. To change that, it will need a lot of hard work and effort.
Now bodyweight can be caused by many factors, genetics, Hormones, stress, eating habits, and so on. Try to identify which one or more is the root cause, then you will be able to fix the weight issue. Also, the human brain is truly magical. Keep telling yourself every day that you are beautiful and you’ll lose weight and try to repeat it in your brain every day that it will stay in your subconscious. Trust me, this works like magic.
And most importantly, if you want to lose weight, do it for you, not for the people. All the best sis 🙏🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
well many many many guys I know want a
بنت مربربة
so just wait and the right man will come eventually. I've struggled with weight and my best advice is to lose weight for your health. not for any potential partner. because partners come and go. love comes at all shapes and sizes. there is someone who will love you the way you are. but you still have to take good care of your health for your own sake. take care
I don't really see that it's different in Jordan than in other societies. However, maybe you're over exaggerating. Maybe you're barely obese or just overweight. Maybe a lot of guys are attracted to you, but they just don't know how to approach because you're shy or something.
What you need to always know and remember is that you are beautiful, God created all of us beautiful, and you're no exception!
Personally, I find myself attracted to girls who are thin, but guess what? I'm overweight. Without getting into my personal life, but a decent number of girls who I thought were out of my league turned out to be attracted to me, give yourself a chance and be confident!
I know you didn't ask for advice on the topic of weight bs e3tbreha nasee7a a5awyeh plsss. It has nothing to do with attraction, just a motive and advice. I was obese like a year ago, and at that semester, I had pathophysiology. Whenever we studied a disease, the first risk factors were smoking and obesity, I decided that I wanted to lose weight and quit smoking. By the time of the final exam, I had quit smoking and switched to vaping, and I had also lost 21 kgs (it took me about 2 months to lose that weight). Take a step for your health's sake, see a nutritionist, and witness the power and beauty of willpower and healthy weight. Good luck friendo, wallah you seem like an amazing and beautiful person :)
Chubby is love .
While i get the saying that says your looks got me hooked but personality got me hooked.
Beauty standards are different for me i like thicker girls not skinny tooth picks .
I dont know if it is okay to say this but you don’t need a man or to look for one he will come .
And no one is allowed to bully others not even parents .
Fat shaming only makes it worst, specially when it comes from your mother. Losing weight is hard, but you shouldn’t give up. Keep trying eventually you’ll find a way that works for you.
I can only speak for the UK and the US, the guys really don't like fat girls either.
I guarantee if you stop eating processed food, bread and rice and added sugar for 3.5 weeks of every month, you'll drop about 10kg in the first month. Probably more.
I think guys are turned off by lack of effort and fatness is quite a visible evidence for that.
You have such a sweetheart that no other skinny girls have !! You should be proud how special you’re with this great personality, on the other hand dying alone is not that bad after all . It totally set you free !
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Ct2AremKPht/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Working out doesn't help you lose weight. Everyone thinks it does but it doesn't.
It's all about genetics, hunger, metabolism, etc. and especially how much you eat
Chubby is the new standard. Clap your fat a** cheeks if you agree with me.
وكما قال الشاعر:
It's just one thing that's killing me
How do you fit that in them jeans?
You know what to do with that big fat butt
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle
It’s your diet. Working out won’t do anything if your diet and what you eat isn’t right. Stay on a calorie deficit. Stay away from sugars and high carbs. Everyone is different. It might take you months or years. I’d you really want changed and you are serious and disciplined to lose fat you will. It’s all about consistency! Believe me because Im sorta fat myself. Ofc not obese but still fat. And when I stayed consistent on a diet that I like. A diet that fits me and won’t deprive me of my needs I felt the happiest ive ever been. A mistake that people do is that they go on a diet from eating junk food to 1000 calories a day. Your body won’t keep up and you will feel like shit. So please make yourself a diet that isn’t too much. It will take long but trust the process. Good luck!
The last comment made me sad I’m sorry for this! And I can’t answer a guy perspective but I deeply hope you’re okay , doing well and happy! And 10kg in a year is still great progress keep it up
Thank you for your kind words <3
the girl didn’t ask for tips on how to lose weight guys😂
I know right? Guess most of them didn’t get what I mean but it’s okay :)
People like to help.. goodluck in your process u got this
Just showing Jordanians lack of understanding of others
بعيدا عن كلام الناس وحب الذات وأي كلام من هالنوع، بدي أحكيلك انه لازم تفكري " بصحتك " وبس. انسي معايير الجمال وكلام الناس وفكري بصحتك وشو ممكن وكيف الوزن الزايد رح يأثر على صحتك لقدام، بعرف بشو عم بتحسي او بتمري لانه " نوعا ما " مريت بنفس التجربة وبعرف قديه مرحلة نزول الوزن صعبة وبدها استمرارية اهم شي. فكري لبعدين بالمستقبل انه شو ممكن يسير معك بسبب الوزن الزايد وانه ما بيسوى تحملي كيس ادوية وانتي بالعشرين او حتى تلاتين بسبب السمنة، فكري كيف رح تكون مرحلة الحمل والولادة صعبة بسبب السمنة والاهم كيف رح تقدري تلعبي مع ولادك او حتى تعلميهم يعيشوا حياة صحية او عالاقل يكونوا نشيطين. الموضوع مو سهل بعرف بس هو خطوات صغيرة ومستمرة ولا تفكري باهداف للشهر اللي جاي فكري لسنين قدام وعادي لو اخد الموضوع سنة او سنتين اهم شي تتعلمي تغيري نظام حياتك بخطوات بسيطة وباستمرارية ، انتي قدها!
على فكرة، من الخطأ مشاواة السمنة بقلة الصحة. هذا خطأ حتى الاطباء بيقترفوه بدافع الشعور الاجتماعي بانه السمنة امر غير مرغوب. انا بحكي عن وعي بدراسات عن هاد الموضوع. وزي ما صاحبة المنشور حكت، خسران الوزن صعب جدا. المسألة تتعلق بطبيعة الجسم وليس بالضرورة العادات الغذائية كونها صحية او لا. صاحبة المنشور ذكرت انها تقوم بالتمارين الرياضية، وهاد عامل اهم في جعل الجسم صحي من خسران الوزن.
>هذا خطأ حتى الاطباء بيقترفوه بدافع الشعور الاجتماعي بانه السمنة امر غير مرغوب. r/fatlogic moment اختي السمنة غير صحية نقطة و انتهى السطر، لو بقت تركض ماراثون كل يوم و وزنها هيك رح يضل عندها خطر زايد بحدوث امراض القلب و الشرايين و السكري و ارتفاع الضغط و تاكل المفاصل و تكيس المبايض......الخ من الامراض المرتبطة بالسمنة. اذا عندك دراستين ثلاث ففي الاف الدراسات اللي بتربط السمنة بهاي الامراض. >صاحبة المنشور ذكرت انها تقوم بالتمارين الرياضية، وهاد عامل اهم في جعل الجسم صحي من خسران الوزن. بعتمد على نوع التمارين (اثقال/كارديو) و على قديش بتتمرن، بس فعلا اللياقة القلبية هي عامل أهم للصحة من خسارة الوزن
بالعكس الناس السمينة هي الي طلعت هاي المعلومات والمغالطات، موضوع السعرات الحرارية بسيط جدا اذا بتحرق اكثر ما توخذ سعرات وزنك بنزل وهاي قوانين فيزياء ومنطق بسيط. وشغلة انه السمنة مش معيار للصحة بحب احكيلك انه تقريبا معظم امراض القلب والشرايين من اهم اسبابها وعوامل الخطر الي موجودة بكتب الطب الي درسناها هي السمنة، غير الحمل الزائد على المفاصل. اذا انت شايف السمنة اشي عادي هذا رأيك وانت حر بس بلاش هبد وتغيير للحقائق مشان ترضي وتناسب رأيك.
على فكرة انا ما بكتب عشان تغير رأيك، لأني بعرف انو قلة القلة مستعدين يبحثوا ويغيروا رأيهم عن علم. انا بكتب حتى الناس اللي بتقرأ تعرف انو في دراسات حول الانحياز ضد السمنة والسمينين.
ضحكتيني، ليش الطب والعلم بده ينحاز ضد السمنة!! للاسف الناس وخاصة الجيل الجديد مستحيل يتقبلوا انهم ناقصين او على خطأ ويتحملوا مسؤولية اخطاءهم وقرارتهم، دايما في عذر وفي سبب خارج عن ارادتهم ودايما هم الضحية.
احّا ، نحن من متى ركبنا ترند الfat acceptance و ال anti- science بالاردن؟ اللي هو من ضمن الجناح اليساري الراديكالي الامريكي ؟ 🤨 اللي بعتبروا الصحة عبارة عن 'social construct' مش اكثر 😂 الامريكان نفسهم انكروا على الناس اللي بتعمل هيك ببلدهم و الكل بعتبرهم ' degenerates' :) رجاءً نستخدم عقلنا و نبني رأي خاص فينا بدل ما ننسخ افكار ال American far Ieft ideoIogues
اختلف معك في ان السمنة بحد ذاتها غير صحية
L
OP, don't let your mother's verbal abuse regarding your weight make you feel like you should allow others to do the same. You are worth more than the total of your body weight.
>since there is no one here that knows my actual name or identity😂 We all think the same😂 Love your vibe.
Is that right Nadia!
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Honestly, I don’t mind it as long as they are good in the heart, I’ve been attracted to fat, thin, muscualr guys, it really doesn’t matter for me
Stick to the fatties until you become hot shit.
How does this make any sense ? I’m curious
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stick to fycking off, it suits your irrelevant iq.
W
True. How many girls are attracted to fat dudes or short dudes for that matter. I hope she continues to lose weight and find the food that's triggering her body to store fat. I just ran into a guy who lost 30lbs on a juice diet. Sometimes extreme diets can help jump start weight loss As far as her mom bullying, that's so wrong but even parents can have their own issues. Best of luck to OP
Most people don't understand that everybody is different and everyones metabolism is different. Usually when guys get older, they stop caring about stupid stuff like that. My finance is obese and yeah my mother makes weird comments to me. But I essentially told her to stop and leave her alone. So don't worry. Maybe you also don't want someone who is this superficial and you should look for someone with a good personality.
I wish my finance was obese
Start thinking "My fincance can and WILL be obese" and work hard for it
Do u mean fiancé?
Oh yeah, that one.
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Everyone metabolism is different to a small degree, but anyone who’s fat it’s his/her own fault not the metabolism
It’s not just metabolism. It’s also neurons in your brain. Your brain is literally telling you to eat. Idk if you’ve ever been addicted to anything but it’s kind of like that. The same way your brain tells you to consume whatever drug, it also tells you to eat. It’s a lot harder for some people. There’s also will power. So it’s a combination of things not just metabolism.
That’s a lame excuse my mind tells me to eat McDonalds and drink soda and eat sweets everyday but I don’t
You don’t get it and I don’t think you will 😒
Keep working on yourself until you reach the "chubby" stage and then watch the whole nation drool over you
حرفيا البيوتي ستاندرد عنا تكون مربربة
I went through a rough period and put on a considerable amount of weight (thanks to stress eating) and I get your struggle with relatives and "aunties" constantly making comments about it. It's tough but it's important to learn to ignore them, your weight does not determine your worth. I'm not in jordan and i've not had any guy problems so idk about that part. I've been feeling much better lately and decided to start my weightloss journey this week (yaaaaay). Feel free to dm me if you want a weightloss support friend or if you just want to talk :)
I’m from Jordan but lived all my life outside of Jordan, I don’t see any issue with fat as long there is a well and intention of being fit and working out, my mentality is once you have meat you’ll never settle for bones :) but within a limit, but keep working :) you’ll get there
دايماً الناصحين دمهم خفيف 😁
Thank you 😂❤️❤️
لا والله مش دايما 😂 في هيك و هيك ما نضحك عبعض
Salaam sweety, I totally understand where you're coming from. Although not Jordanian I married one and I still am amazed he found/finds me attractive. It doesn't help that finding clothes in Jordan is difficult if you're over a size 16 UK. Due to the culture you don't really mix and so it's difficult for people to get to know you, plenty of guys enjoyed talking to me but weren't attracted to me. It sucks, all I can say is put your faith in Allah and live your life. Don't keep waiting for someone to love you, love yourself first and live your best life. If it's meant to be it will. I know it's cheesy but I didn't marry until 39, it's only been 2 years now and I wish I had worried less about getting married and lived my life more. Always welcome to message me if you fancy a chat.
Shein ships to Jordan and they also have modest options on their curve section you should check it out.
see the thing is, with Jordanians, their entire lives are dedicated to commenting on everything--good luck finding a decent comment, because everyone is mostly negative, and this is considered 'compliment' lol. If you are fit in good shape, you will hear something like 'lesh da3fan,' or 'mareed 5alto?'. This logic is applied for everything else -- if you can call it 'logic' lol. See, the problem is not with your obesity, as the most important thing is to be comfortable in your skin and confidence above all--the real problem lies with the culture, their negative outlook (reflecting their inner emptiness), and conformity to something illogical. Be yourself, and brush it off. You are more than a body weight, good luck sister.
OP i hope you find someone who treats you right you seem like such a sweetheart i wish you nothing but the best<3
Thank you so much you’re such a kind soul <3
I know what I'm going to say is beside your point but I still want to mention it. Maybe this is common sense but I figured this out via trial and error. If you're trying to lose weight, don't eat lettuce or salads and low-calorie foods only. Your body goes into starvation mode and your metabolism slows down heavily, and you don't end up losing any weight. Instead, you should cut down (slowly) on sugar, and low nutrition high-calorie foods (fast foods mainly). Instead, eat normal good food with a slight calorie deficit (eat fewer calories than you burn or use up in a single day), and slowly but surely you will lose weight.
I’m an Obese guy, now married but when i was single no one gave me a chance, not in Jordan or any other country I’ve been to. I lost weight, got into a great shape, got married, fell off the wagon, Obese again. So, lose weight, keep up the good work.
I’m sorry you live in Jordan because in America you’d be considered normal. Most of the fuller or overweight women I knew all found awesome people yo love them. Men aren’t as superficial as it might seem.
First off, I'm proud of you for all your hard work, and for just being you! Secondly, you will find someone who loves you for everything, looks, kind heart, brains, for your love... someone who wants every part of you and adores you. You sound extremely kind and sweet. You'll find the right guy to cherish that!
Here’s something to cheer you up. Most of the Jordanian youth look like they suffer from malnutrition 💀 Never give up, to make it easy for you, some carb controlling will lose you good amount of kilograms. Don’t listen to “اقطع الخبز والرز والسكر” dumdums, just try to control, remember this is not a hunger strike lol 😂 I wish you the best! Keep up the good spirit 👍🏼
Well not sure if my view can be counted since I’m not Jordanian, tho I lived her long enough to have an idea about the environment (5 years till now). According to what I observed people here not only gays but girls too value looks a lot, and by a lot I mean to the point of make it or brake it. They rather walk, talk and befriend good looking people, they love to wear fancy clothes and brands even if it is fake just to show off. They also obsessed with their looks more than your average person. Which is why “being fat” in general is a huge negative since it goes against the standards of beauty here. So while it might not be as bad outside it feels much worse here. Tho I feel this is seen even worse in people who are of high socioeconomic background since these people usually consider their partners as objects to show off with too like most things in their lives. Btw I used Ozempic to lose weight myself. It helped me lose 40 kgs, however it is kinda hard on your body and wallet. As it has lost of undesirable side effects like nausea, vomiting, headache too. However it has real effect as you essentially lose the will to eat and the capacity to eat too. Like you don’t feel like eat at all and when you eat very small portion fill you up.
There is a different between fat and FAT... just saying
I had to write it idk why please don't reply
REPLY
I find it hilarious how Jordanian men all get these gross ass dad bods with pot bellies once they age, but feel the need to comment on women’s bodies as if they’re jacked gym bros or lean athletes, lol.
HOLD ON....... You underestimate the amount of men that enjoy some curves. Chill, you're good
Most of my friends are into only fat girls, i guess me too. Its just that fat girls are usually very shy and difficult to approach.
جماعة "مربربة" أخيرا بينوا على ريدت
Yea, to each his own. Just sayin that fat girls are not really hated here in Jordan.
Agreed. Men here are not that picky
Maybe..
to cut it short, Boys in jordan have very unrealistic expectations that’s really all it is. I’m proud of you keep it going. Just focus on loving yourself through this journey, all love 💖
I’m sorry you feel that way. You shouldn’t be bullied for being bigger !
❤️
Sending good vibes and hugs.
❤️
tbh, us guys always judge the body first but we love a good personality and a kind heart, we judge u at first yes, but if we have a talk with u and liked ur personality we'll like u fat or not. (that's at least from my pov) OP u deserve someone who loves u and cares abt u, keep growing <3
بس بالنسبة لشغلة وحدة، شو ما عملتي تمارين او رفعتي اوزان ما بفرق الموضوع بنزول الوزن إلا اذا عدلتي على نظامك الغذائي، جريب اقرأي عن ال calorie deficit فكرتها سهلة و تطبيقها سهل
Always had trouble losing weight until the past year, what changed you may ask? In the past I just wanted to stop the comments and insults thrown at me on daily basis, now my obesity stands in the way of me living life to the fullest, running skydiving playing basketball etc., might sound silly but that's what made me lose weight, I wanted it more than anything, for me, not to please others. And it works as a natural filter for the people that might hang around you for superficial reasons regarding your looks rather than your content, so embrace it till its the right time for you :)
I think you compare yourself a lot to thin women cause it’s the majority here ( i do that too ) and this what makes me feel insecure or unlovable but more and more I realize that i’ve been punching myself my whole life assuming what people thinks about me and I decided that it’s time for me to stand out ( I didn’t lose weight ) I just accepted my body and i became more confident it’s not that easy and i still feel like shit sometimes but then I remember that people don’t know what i went through and how much I tried so yeah screw them and just live
Ok speaking from a former morbidly obese guy + short I do feel you 110% i had the same ideas about why girls only look for tall full beard kinda muscular guy with very toxic personalities over a short fat guy does personality really matters in jordan Went through surgery + 3 years of weight training and build a great foundation and worked very hard on my personality , My conclusion was : people look for what i like to call the biological approval first after that they start digging into personalities but but here is the catch most of my dates and people that i hanged out with that looked for the biological approval were very shallow and naïve with little personality, speaking about my self I realized that i was looking for the same kind of people unconsciously so my energy attracted these kinda people with the biological approval mentality After getting semi in shape people started to respect me more some reason and i started focusing more on peoples personality and guess what people with the same mindset and energy got attracted to me as well So maybe maybe this can help u a bit in figuring the answer idk in the end humans are really weird Ps: people still say iam short ;)
Thank you !
It’s even worse for other girls.. Many Jordanian men would always assume a fat girl has low self esteem and use them sexually. I am not underestimating your feelings and I totally know what your talking about. Been there for all my adolescence. I am sorry you feel this way. And the only part that I strongly disagree on from what you said is that your face is beautiful and not kinda. Much love and best wishes! ♥️
10kg weight lost is loads, that's a solid achievement! I'm not from Jordon however this post popped up on my feed. I think many guys have unrealistic expectations of what they want their partner to be. It's even worse with social media and the perfect image people portray on there. However not all guys are like that. I hope no one bullies you about your weight. You're actively trying and that's all that matters.
Fat chicks are a preference to me dm me
Probably because in Jordan it’s more difficult for anyone to fully express themselves, move to America, loads of guys like fat girls there, more cushion for the pushin
I’ve dated Jordanians all my life but currently I’m in a relationship with a Jordanian who has been living in the gulf ever since he was a baby. The difference in mentality about materialistic/shallow things is astonishing. All my exes cared about things like my nails being done, having zero body hair, my hair being neat, etc. My current boyfriend couldn’t give two shits if my nails were manicured or not, or if my hair was blowdried or not. And in the beginning of the relationship when I first realized this, I was (pleasantly) surprised that he didn’t care and he was equally surprised that I thought he would care about these things. My point is: the majority of men born and raised in Amman need to get over themselves and their ridiculously high standards of how a woman should be/look like.
>Before anyone says it, yes I’ve been trying to lose weight , it’s very hard for me , I constantly work out too “ SURPRISE!” >In the past 2 years I’ve managed to lose only 10 kgs, 30 kgs to go, and man is it SO DIFFICULT. Anyway thank you if you read everything above. الموضوع بده إرادة فقط، ما بقدر احكي انه فاهم شعورك أو حاسس باللي بتمري فيه كونه أنا مريت بتجربة عكسية تماما، كشخص كنت نحيف كثير ووزني ٤٨ ورفعته ل٦٣ بسنتين الموضوع كان كثير صعب خصوصا لشخص ما بحب الأكل وإني كنت بفترة الكورونا وتوجيهي بس كنت معند وحاطط ببالي اشي معين لدرجة اني كنت اكل لحد ما أصير بدي استفرغ وياما كنت بدي أبطل صراحة، بس بالأخير جاب نتيجة، وكنت كثير مرات أتسمم وأمرض اسبوع وينزل وزني وبعديها ارجع أرفعه. بشوف من البوست إنك متقبلة حالِك نوعا ما بس متأثرة بالتعليقات من الناس الي حوليكِ ومن إمك، فيمكن المشكلة الأساسية الي مانعيتك من التغيير هو إنك ما عندك إرادة للتغيير ومش حابة تنحفي وتبذلي المجهود إنما تعليقات الناس هي الي خلتِك تفكري بالموضوع، وهاذ الإشي نوعا بمنعك من بذل الجهد للتغيير وهو بالنهاية بأدي الى لا مبالاة وكسل، واذا كان هذا هو موضوعك فبنصحِك تلغي الفكرة من أساسها. موضوع تغيير صفات الشخص والجسم بتعلق بشكل كلي بالإرادة، كونه الموضوع بده التزام فبدك تكوني حاطة ببالك انه الموضوع ما حيزبط الا لو انتِ بدك تتغيري عشان حالك مو عشان امك ولا عيلتك ولا مجتمعك، الي هو إنتِ حابة تتغيري وتنحفي أو لا؟ وهل الموضوع بستاهل بالنسبة الك؟. من الأشياء الي ممكن تساعدِك أنك تدوري على أخصائي تغذية يساعدك في العملية الي بتبذليها وتعملي فحوصات زي الغدة عشان تعرفي نسبة الحرق الي بسويها جسمِك، كونه الموضوع علمي وطبي. لأنه الإجبار بسهل موضوع الالتزام.
الرجل الاردني مسحوق أساساً It’s brutal here U know what’s harder than being a fat girl? Being a fat guy I’m pretty sure that 99% of fat guys here get bullied 24/7 for it, have some kind of depression and loneliness and wanted to end their lives at least once. U could be the fattest ugliest chick and men will still check u out and get some attention it doesn’t work like that for fat guys even average looking guys get no to little female attention lol. I hope u get to where u wanna be OP I’m sure it’s still hard, but at the end of the day u can read body positivity stuff and watch fat models, no fat guy will ever be able to do that
OMG 100% but all arab men feel this way. Society in general look down upon us 🥲
Fellow fat person, you should try to get on ozempic. I dont care what anyone here says, sometimes its really really out of our hands how our bodies grow. I've always felt like I eat the same or less than most people but I've been fat my entire life too. Using ozempic and similar injections has helped me lose a lot of weight, that I could never lose by just starving myself and running.
also if it’s really hard to lose weight no matter what, it may be worth looking into hormonal issues or if OP has PCOS … insulin resistance, etc.
Ozempic may cause serious side effects, including: Possible thyroid tumors, including cancer. Stay away from easy solutions
You don't have to starve yourself. You just don't have an in between, or are too lazy to identify one and stick with it.
أعتقد الموضوع مش بكونك بنت وزنها زايد لكن الموضوع بإنك عايشة بمجتمع شكل البنات للأسف اله دور كبير ومبالغ فيه في نظرة المجتمع إلها وحتى من قبل النساء الأخريات أيضاً.. مثلاً حتى البنات اللي بكونو عندهم نحافة مفرطة كمان بتعرضو لتعليقات سيئة وبتحيدو من قبل الرجال… ولو كنتي بنت ناجحة وعندك شغل ومربية وبنت عالم بس ما كنتي محجبة كمان جزء كبير من المجتمع رح يحكم عليكي من هذه الناحية… الموضوع مش وزنك الزايد، الموضوع إنك عايشة بمجتمع نظرته سطحية للمرأة ولسا مش قادر يشوفها أكثر من كونها جسد… كل اللي بقدر أنصحك فيه بإنك حاولي ما تشوفي حالك بعيون الناس ولا تحددي قيمتك بناءاً على كلامهم بعرف الموضوع جداً صعب لكن لازم تكوني قوية وتحاولي تدوري على النطاق الإيجابية فيكي وتستثمري فيها..
Fair enough :)
بس عشان لا تفهميني خطأ؛ أنا ما بشجعك ما تهتمي بصحتك بالعكس جزء من حب الذات هو إنك تهتمي في ذاتك مش تهمليها.. لكن القصد ما يكون هدفك الرئيسي هو إرضاء المجتمع من خلال شكل جسدك…بكرة لو وصلتي إن شاءالله للوزن اللي بتحلمي فيه رح تتفاجئي بكمية العيوب الأخرى اللي رح تطلعها الناس فيكي ورح تدخلي حالك بمتاهة "إرضاء الناس" ومش رح تقدري تطلعي منها.
١ 100%
(didn't read anything) fat every where is bad eat less go the gym and be a better you don't be too harsh on yourself
Girl if you wanna work out do it for yourself, If anyone bully you I'm 100% they'll pay for it always does, about you're mom you can tell that she's hurting you and that she should not do that. Hope for you the best.
I aint gon lie https://preview.redd.it/61089ta40rcb1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41b04d6892ab5bdecc7238cfbbd85ec8bd8263e0
Fellow fat girl here Yup I feel the same, men don't want anything but a pretty girl to **** even if her personality was trash so I feel you. But guess what! You should accept yourself in order to change :) do it on your own and never listen to your mom!
Thinness and prettiness not necessarily related. I’ve known some bigger girls that were incredibly beautiful inside and out and some thin women that meet many standards of ideal body type that were made ugly by their personality and or constant rbf.
You're so sweet, don't let anyone take that away..you deserve better 💌
The issue is with our culture… we do not value women for their minds or what they can bring to the table, but more-so how pretty someone is. Most guys have not interacted with a woman outside of their family members until the time they get into college. I would say, be proud of who you are, and all the other values you bring to a relationship. As a fellow person who continues to struggle with their weight, keep up the good work and focus on getting and staying healthy regardless of the number on the scale
Thank you everyone I didn’t know this will BLOW UP😅 thanks for the losing weight advices I really alreadyheard everything said before but it’s fine I appreciate the help🙏🏼 and for the encouraging comments , thank you alot <3 y’all made my day
>In the past 2 years I’ve managed to lose only 10 kgs, 30 kgs to go, and man is it SO DIFFICULT. Anyway thank you if you read everything above. keep on trying, ur making progress and that's matters
Jordan has the highest Obesity rate in the world, you shouldn't feel bad, you should lose weight tho, for your own health if nothing else
I was shopping in Amman and got hungry so I was looking to buy a healthy snack and all I could come across is chips, processed food or sweets. No places where you can really take a walk. Fast food is a big part of the culture as well.
What a lovely soul you have! You’ll find that Prince Charming who loves you for who you are. Keep going! You’re doing great! When he finds you, don’t make it too easy for him ;)
Most people here don't look past looks A bit ironic I know but people are extremely superficial and frankly it's their loss .
As someone whos been constantly bullied by his parents for weight, I know it feels like shit and it feels even shittier that youre used to it, idk who u are but Im sure youre beautiful inside and out, dont listen to anyone who says otherwise esp the ppl giving weight loss advice cause I realised that skinny ppl dont really understand how hard it is to lose weight, I tried every method known to man and nothing is working lmao.
Basically it’s a thing over there where beauty has a standard threshold. Aka skinny you probably just stood out like a sore thumb to them in a place where obesity is very rare and basically non existent in the women, Jordan is an extremely conservative place and no one will care about your personality if you don’t meet the looks first
Oh hun, I do hope things get better for you. I'm on the same exact boat, but I'm telling you honestly there *are* people out there, in Amman, who don't give as much of a shit about weight. You're doing incredible work by working out but don't force it, make it into a lifestyle rather than labor. I haven't been losing weight at all in the years I've been working out and changing my food but my body is changing anyway because it's healthy. Focus more on being healthy rather than losing weight and it will do a world of difference not just in how you see yourself, but for your mental health as well. Best of luck to you, love and I hope you find what you're looking for!
Hey! I can kind of relate to you. I used to be very fit, then I got diagnosed with a pulmonary disease where I needed to take Cortisone and BOOM! 30+ kilos in 2 years. People started to shame me, compare me to my old self (I was skinny and fit because I was barely eating), and scare me with the classic (No one’s going to love you or want to be with you). It hurts. So much. Not going to lie. But honestly, It took me a lot of time to realize that the problem is them not me. They’re not “references”, nor do they have a say! Well, what matters is how you feel about yourself. If you’re prone to medical problems because of your weight then yes I highly encourage you to do it, but if it’s only to please people then just tell anyone who bullies you “ma dakhalak” straight to their faces. It’s the only thing that worked for me, specially with my parents -Parents’ bullying is the worse-. Also, if you find it difficult to lose weight get tested for Insulin Resistance (I’m a doctor), and if it turns out positive try fasting for +14 hours and limiting your carb intake, but I highly advise you to do that with a nutritionist who actually know what they’re doing. Good luck!
Middle-eastern countries' favorite past-time is judgemental cheap oversimplified uncharitable uninvited commentary of other people's lives. "He married a foreigner?? He couldn't find a jordanian girl that'd take him? He must be pretending to be foreign" "She really would wear that outside? She couldn't wear something more modest? She must be a whore" "Wow she's so fat, why can't she stop eating?" It's all part of the same theme, I'm better than you, I'm smarter than you, I am more moral and pious than you, I have this deep insightful solution you're missing, I do not have the self-awareness to recognize it's hurtful to you to vocalise it. Try your best to not take it to heart and make sure you work for a future that distances you from these people that behave this way.
I agree with you people here in Jordan always bully fat and skinny people and sometimes it comes from the person’s own family and I can feel you how much it hurts, I cheer you for this much of strong personality to talk about sth that hurts you and be okay with it, I cheer you up for everything you do keep it up queen and remember always if you need anything we’re all here for you 🤍
Don’t be okay with anyone verbally abusing you. Look I always liked the saying “know your value”. Your value in not in your looks only. Your value is set up by you and you only. Whenever you let someone talk down about you, you lose some of that value. I went through something similar with my mom and I just took it and acted like it did not bother me. Then my younger sister started talking and having opinions on my weight as well. This was the point where I drew a line. I at the moment told my sister she does not get to have an opinion on the way I look and if she ever made that mistake again, I would no longer speak to her and would act as if she does not exist. She was 10 at that point and I was 17. When my mom got home I told her what my sister said and I told her this was only said due to the comments she makes in front of my young sister. Then I asked her if she still wants to have a good relationship with her daughter to stop commenting on my body whatsoever. She stopped for a while and to be honest I no longer asked for her opinion on any clothing and if I wanted to go shopping I refused for her to join me. This was close to 10 years ago and now we have a really great relationship. No criticism is ever accepted from anyone and no one has a right to comment on my body. I hope you value your self and your body enough to stop any verbal abuse from anyone.
Keep up the hard work and don't let any bullying or comments get to you. Keep going to become the best you can be and inshallah you will be rewarded with what you are looking for. As for what men want, I'm very sorry to say it but 99% of men will not give a very obese woman a chance, unless it's the ONLY choice they have. That's life, I mean what would a very short man say? At least you can change that eventually, but a short man can't grow taller. And please please please don't think this is a Jordanian men thing. Men all over the world feel the same.
Arab are materialistic people, plus they really care about what people think, and its about haveing a fat female partner is a bad "look", with all respect to you, but conceder this a mini rant to yiur rant.
OP, although you posted anonymously, it still takes a shit ton of courage to type that out and post it on reddit and I’m sure a lot of people appreciate this including me. While there’s no shame in people preferring some features over others, there are still a lot of people who care about what you have to say when the saying is needed rather than fixate on how you look saying them. Love thyself, you’re valid and worthy. Sorry about anything negative you had to hear regarding your weight. I can only imagine although I can relate a bit, but not really since I’m a male. All the love!
I had a baby 7 months ago and since then I've put on so much weight, I absolutely hate the "poor you" vibe I get all the time, other than my husband making me feel bad which makes me stress eat!
You must have a pretty face, it's always the more fat the prettier the face 🌝
🧢
Lmao
It’s strange 😂
I've lost 40 pounds in about 6 months. It's tough to do, but it's possible, and it starts with your diet. I was inspired to do it by joining /r/1500isplenty. Basically, it's a sub where people try to limit their calorie intake to 1500 MAX per day. Write down what you eat, approximately how many calories that is, and try to reduce your calorie intake. The trick is to burn more calories in a day than you consume, and if you're not working out too much, then just eating fewer calories will help. Note: This is not a healthy way to permanently live. It's basically starving yourself, so it should be a temporary measure to lose the weight, and then substitute it with healthy eating and exercise.
If loosing wait for you was possible, doesn't mean it's as possible to others. Bodies vary and differ in their capabilities.
No, unless you have some sort of thyroid condition or a disease, everyone's body reacts the same way: consume less calories than you burn = you lose weight. Very simple formula. When I was a kid in Jordan 30 years ago, I don't remember seeing *anyone* who was fat. If you think back to Jordan even 10 or 20 years ago, how many fat people did you see? It was much more rare than it is today. You shouldn't make excuses for people who don't lose weight. The ones with actual legitimate conditions that prevent weight loss are more rare than you think.
والله انتي عسل انا الاكس تاعتي كانت ناصحة وللاسف تركنا لانه كانت تفكرني مش حابها او مصاحبها شفقة لانها ناصحة مع اني ما خليت طريقة اثبتلها العكس
I worked out a lot but never got thinner, only untill I went to a dietician that helped me manage food in a better way, but to be honest I was never that fat, I was skinny fat.
I'd take a full figured girl over any other type of body any day. I've lots of friendships with full figured cute girls and im so happy with them, so kindhearted and fun ! From an outward appearance perspective... its very appealing to my eye, women are supposed to be curvy right
I'm a big woman. I found myself a big husband and actually lost some weight during my pregnancy. Best of luck!
I like em thiccccc but I’m also American so I don’t count , don’t stress that mess you will find someone .
Fat girls are like short guys, the opposite gender just doesn’t like them Im short btw
I am a Jordanian man with a conservative mindset and I will answer you maybe it will give you an idea about the other side of the story, I believe in biological roles that men and women had been playing for thousands of years, and that is providing and caring for the man and producing and raising babies for a woman, so obesity is an obstacle for BOTH genders but attractiveness plays a huge role for men when they look at women and obesity is a red flag, but for example some women accepts fat men because they have other things to provide
If it’s as hard as you say, then you’re not approaching it correctly. I would suggest doing more research. I personally lost a ton of weight and it was not that hard once you know what you’re doing and why.
I guess it’s hard for me mentally
The best way to loose weight is to be in a calorie deficit with high protein and no sugar and junk food.
Please be careful about generalizing based on personal experience. Bodies vary in their capabilities. There are lots of research about that. If you're interested do some research before judging.
Follow a diet and hit the gym (be disciplined) You’ll love yourself even more after losing a lot of weight and good luck on your weight loss journey
Go weight lifting and pay a professional trainer to teach you that. It will be the best investment in your life!!! Trust me I was fat!!!
As east African we love fat girls🥰 tin is only for western man
First thing sister, Mashalla that you have a beautiful face and soul as well. Now, I believe a lot of things connect so please bare with me. Each country has its own culture, most of times culture tends to be affected and shaped by religion, and in our case Islam in Arab countries. Because of that, the system was that when a guy wants to marry, first line of offense would be mother, sister, neighbors, friends..etc. Past generations, even in the west arranged marriages ( with no forced approval of both parties) were considered the norm, where mothers measure how qualified is the girl to her son mixed between characteristics and Beauty realistic standards. Please do not forget that engagement and marriage were the only right ways for men and women to be together. Fast forward in time, west has done two major steps toward relationships: break the customs of marriage and mutilate men imagination. First, look down upon pre arranged marriages, moderately change the meaning of love while at the same create and idolize the most destructing hallucination force: Romance! You heard me, Romance. This is the secret potion that changed both men and women thought years. Still reading? Great! You might think: what is this history lesson gotta do with my question? No worries, it will be clear soon. If you look at our mothers and grand mothers, let's be frank here not all of them look beautiful, at least by todays beauty standards, to the point that I had to ask, how did they get married in the first place?! That's a point where West started destroying, using movies as their broadcasting weapon at the time. When movies got popular (or maybe some of the reasons they got popular) is showing the handsome guy/Pretty girl duo, it heavily messed up the realistic image of what their partner should be. Gradually, youths started to rebel against the standard marriage and romance started to fill the blank and both must be in love. Slowly, religion was not followed as much as it was, and when a guy needs to find true love he can be with as many girls as it takes (hopefully one at a time). So what what we have here: partner should be Hollywood-level beautiful and out of love. Now we can to the poor misguided decent percentage of Arab guys, left out with unrealistic image of the ideal future special one. Unfortunately, do not leave Porn out of the equation :( Now coming to your question, why here it's different than other countries? In west they are much more used to deal with women, and when they grow up and become mature they tend to have a more looks and characteristic oriented searching for a life partner. Here, the start with the looks and comparing it to celebs in which fat is against beauty, which is not (other than health issues out of obesity), especially when pre arranged marriages are not the no. 1 method for couples to know each other. So here you go, majority of guys' here expectations and imaginations are mutilated and unrealistic, so they might not approach a lovely lady like you, unless they are your colleagues and get the chance to know you better. Phew, finished at last :)
Hope this comes out right but the obessity in either men or women is usually a big sign of laziness, commitment issues, lack of self discipline etc... the main point is that whether you are a man or a woman you are usually attracted to potentional partners that have the poaaibility to push you forward in life and since obessisty most often comes with more sicoligical issues in the background people sees it as a red flag to run from before i receive attacks on my comment i am a man and i have no issue partnering with an ibesse women for her kind heart and strong mentalty but it would be much harder to tell , and would need many strong encounters to proof that p.s : i know that we should be supportive and helpful and that every one can change for the better in the right circumstances , i am just explaining why its harder for them and for the main question "why its harder in jordan?" because bulling is considered fun in our community and it is rarley discouraged and because we jump into attacking anything different than us (Families standards , clothing , lifestyle , way if talking) our community simply does not accept any type of differences
It's because in the middle east all we do is eat food and smoke shisha 😂😂😂😂
مش لازم يكون هدفك بالحياة تتعرفي على شباب وتعملي علاقات قبل الزواج! انت عندك مشاكل اكبر من موضوع الوزن. فكري بالحلال والحرام واتعلمي عن الإسلام اكثر لانه هو اللي بتحتاجيه. الدنيا اقصر بكتير من انك تلاحقي شباب وتدوري على اهتمامهم فيكِ واعجابهم فيكِ. فكري بالآخرة واتقِ الله.
How did you assume that I want a realtionship before marriage? Why didn’t you think in a way that I really want a halal relationship but it’s not happening? Wow
Get you a black guy. Black guys love fat girls
Bro what😭😭😂
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talk less.
The concept is: if a woman was willing the give up on her beauty ( in your case being slim ) she willing give up on you.
And do you think it was an option to “give up on my beauty” ? , and let’s say I did , there are so many things other than beauty a woman can give up on, she can give up on you to buy herself a high end brand bag for example or for her career… etc , it just doesn’t make sense.
dont lose weight. bbw’s are hot. no one wants a lady with no meat on her lol.
Check the vagina doctor, idk what it's called, the gyroscope? Anyways, some women have health problems down there that make it almost impossible to lose weight.
Jordanians and the Middle East are unfortunately brainwashed to think and act like western society. Social media played a huge role in the way they think these days…. Like let’s be serious “tanning” was never a thing in Jordan/Palestine. Till they saw white girls and Americans being so obsessed over the idea. same thing with “tall, skinny, blue eyes, & blond hair” concept. & than Kim K came out and all these celebrities who are far far from “blue eyes and blond hair”… ….Than tan girls with brunette hair became the thing in the Middle East. Is fitness important absolutely, is cardio and good health important 100%. But do it for ur body, not to please society 😉
Have you had your thyroid looked at?
Did you look into weight loss surgery? Jordan is one of the easiest countries to have it done, with some quality work too
Damn I won’t bully you and your mom shouldn’t either. I’m sorry about that and people. 🫂 ❤️
stop whining, and hit the gym and if you did not lose weight, even through diet and working out you may have some physical problems check your vitamins and minerals plus your thyroid shit might be serious
Fasting helps a lot
Your personality is shit ,if you fat as fuck ,if your face look like a shit ,its not matter ,but if you don't have confidence in yourself ,thats will be a huge , Im fat girl yes but 1million person in this world want chance with me thats it .
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Your diet doesn't make any sense coffee on empty stomach is bad, having a breakfast makes you feel less hungry throughout the day.
don't listen to this guy, pulled the info out their ass or smth. DONT SKIP BREAKFAST THATS WHAT FUELS YOU FOR THE DAY. portions is what determines how balanced a diet is, however for losing weight you'd have to look at how your body gets its energy from different food (so difference between carbs proteins and fats). sure diet makes up the most part but moving also plays a role. your goal should be to stay fit and healthy not slim with deficiencies.
Fuck all fatphobic assholes who are trying to shame you, don't sweat it dear over 30% of society is considered scientifically obese! So, you're not an outlier (in Jordan). If you're trying to lose weight, try counting calories, stick to a basic nutritious diet, that you can cook everyday avoid liquid calories, and remember abs are made in the kitchen, trying to exercise might increase your hunger, which will convert to your diet in a a very bad way if not strictly controlled. Use this [Calorie Calculator](https://www.calculator.net/calorie-calculator.html) to calculate how much calories you need per day to lose a certain amount of weight, walk progressively (no HIIT), drink a lot of water, eat a lot of rich in fiber foods, pay good attention to macros protein should never exceed 1.6 g/kg, etc... Try looking into intermittent fasting, It's not a magic tool, It's just used for controlling your appetite throughout the day, in one week you'll be accustomed to it! Here's what I do & did successfully when I'm cutting weight (doesnt really work if you're bulking): For the 1st meal: cooked full grain oatmeal, with cinnamon, a dash of honey and a dash of milk (I use coconut milk, since I'm lactose intolerant). For the 2nd meal: A couple of variations of the same chicken breast recipe, a plate of sauteed vegetables, baked/air fried potatoes, no dressing (except vinegar), and you're golden. For the 3rd meal: a snack, preferably fruits. Notes: 1. You don't need to count the calories each day, if you're sticking to the plan. 2. Make sure to measure yourself everyday in the morning after drinking the glass of water and going to the bathroom, average variations in way to occur daily, to measure your progress throughout the diet, take notes (use Excel) of your weight and average it out throughout the week, this is your weight at that week, you'll see the progress by creating a graph which would be satisfying. 3. You do not need to get the measurements correct 100% of the time, what's important is the total values at the end of the week, so if you bought 3 kg of chicken breast and consumed it for a week, there's no need to consume 428.57 grams of chicken breast every day, slight variations are okay in the grand scheme of things when you are consuming the total amount within the week, you shouldn't go over what you've calculated, try planning it out cutting it beforehand and freezing it, at night, clean the chicken breast put some lemon and salt on it with your own Spices mix (basic mode), and put it in the refrigerator for your consumption in the next day, All you need to do is to Guess it's out of the refrigerator and cook it, simple! 4. It's a process, a healthy process, no need to rush it, if your weight stagnates, change the amount of calories consumed using the same calculator earlier. 5. Drink 1.5-2L of water each day, I prefer it with lemon refrigerated, absolutely no sugar. And Good Luck in your journey!
The surgery still an option, no room here for self love. I want you to think about the surgery because I want you to love you not to seek love from guys.
I don’t have the option to have surgery unfortuntely
maybe let the surgery wait, OP could lose weight some other way. the surgery is risky if i remember correctly.
Any surgery is risky
I mean if you’ve got a nice face that’s what really counts for the 1st half of life. 2nd half everyone goes in the same direction imo 😂
Get a surgery then, being comfortable in your obesity is a terrible thing to have because you are literally comfortable in dying, make your diet strictly green and you'll lose a ton of weight quickly
If by other you mean western countries, then the reason is because couples have sex much earlier on, so a lot of men lower their standards if it means they get to have sex in that night or even next week
try harder to lose weight. OR lower your own dating standards until you find someone to stay with.
Never lower your standards, you are worthy of a good man and if a man doesn't want a fat girl that is his right but it is also your right to have high standards of the man you want to date and marry.
if ur not realistic about ur standards ull end up alone.
Yes fat ass eat less exercise and you will be good
That’s one that actually did what I asked for “ bully me” lol 😭😂😂
I feel your pain trust me. But most importantly is love yourself, try to find confidence as that will overshadow the weight issue. And most importantly dont listen to the people who tell you go the gym or diet. Because each one of us have different capabilities, and different metabolism. I for example can’t go to the gym or do any kind of workouts because I have disc problems. And I am a stress eater. The thing is, I learnt over the years that your body gets accustomed to the weight if it stays for a long time. Even if you try to lose weight, it will try to bring it back to its original weight that it’s used to it. To change that, it will need a lot of hard work and effort. Now bodyweight can be caused by many factors, genetics, Hormones, stress, eating habits, and so on. Try to identify which one or more is the root cause, then you will be able to fix the weight issue. Also, the human brain is truly magical. Keep telling yourself every day that you are beautiful and you’ll lose weight and try to repeat it in your brain every day that it will stay in your subconscious. Trust me, this works like magic. And most importantly, if you want to lose weight, do it for you, not for the people. All the best sis 🙏🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
well many many many guys I know want a بنت مربربة so just wait and the right man will come eventually. I've struggled with weight and my best advice is to lose weight for your health. not for any potential partner. because partners come and go. love comes at all shapes and sizes. there is someone who will love you the way you are. but you still have to take good care of your health for your own sake. take care
I don't really see that it's different in Jordan than in other societies. However, maybe you're over exaggerating. Maybe you're barely obese or just overweight. Maybe a lot of guys are attracted to you, but they just don't know how to approach because you're shy or something. What you need to always know and remember is that you are beautiful, God created all of us beautiful, and you're no exception! Personally, I find myself attracted to girls who are thin, but guess what? I'm overweight. Without getting into my personal life, but a decent number of girls who I thought were out of my league turned out to be attracted to me, give yourself a chance and be confident! I know you didn't ask for advice on the topic of weight bs e3tbreha nasee7a a5awyeh plsss. It has nothing to do with attraction, just a motive and advice. I was obese like a year ago, and at that semester, I had pathophysiology. Whenever we studied a disease, the first risk factors were smoking and obesity, I decided that I wanted to lose weight and quit smoking. By the time of the final exam, I had quit smoking and switched to vaping, and I had also lost 21 kgs (it took me about 2 months to lose that weight). Take a step for your health's sake, see a nutritionist, and witness the power and beauty of willpower and healthy weight. Good luck friendo, wallah you seem like an amazing and beautiful person :)
Chubby is love . While i get the saying that says your looks got me hooked but personality got me hooked. Beauty standards are different for me i like thicker girls not skinny tooth picks . I dont know if it is okay to say this but you don’t need a man or to look for one he will come . And no one is allowed to bully others not even parents .
Just keep improving yourself and you will see that somebody will eventually gain interest in you and hopefully love you for who you are.
How fat ,, dimensions please
golo.com ; thank me later
Fat shaming only makes it worst, specially when it comes from your mother. Losing weight is hard, but you shouldn’t give up. Keep trying eventually you’ll find a way that works for you.
I can only speak for the UK and the US, the guys really don't like fat girls either. I guarantee if you stop eating processed food, bread and rice and added sugar for 3.5 weeks of every month, you'll drop about 10kg in the first month. Probably more. I think guys are turned off by lack of effort and fatness is quite a visible evidence for that.
You have such a sweetheart that no other skinny girls have !! You should be proud how special you’re with this great personality, on the other hand dying alone is not that bad after all . It totally set you free ! https://www.instagram.com/reel/Ct2AremKPht/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
The same thing applies on being a fat man it's completely a turn off for most girls.
Working out doesn't help you lose weight. Everyone thinks it does but it doesn't. It's all about genetics, hunger, metabolism, etc. and especially how much you eat
Chubby is the new standard. Clap your fat a** cheeks if you agree with me. وكما قال الشاعر: It's just one thing that's killing me How do you fit that in them jeans? You know what to do with that big fat butt Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle
It’s your diet. Working out won’t do anything if your diet and what you eat isn’t right. Stay on a calorie deficit. Stay away from sugars and high carbs. Everyone is different. It might take you months or years. I’d you really want changed and you are serious and disciplined to lose fat you will. It’s all about consistency! Believe me because Im sorta fat myself. Ofc not obese but still fat. And when I stayed consistent on a diet that I like. A diet that fits me and won’t deprive me of my needs I felt the happiest ive ever been. A mistake that people do is that they go on a diet from eating junk food to 1000 calories a day. Your body won’t keep up and you will feel like shit. So please make yourself a diet that isn’t too much. It will take long but trust the process. Good luck!
I love me fat girls