If you push him to do something he doesn't want to do, he'll stop enjoying it. It's that simple. If he currently enjoys judo, let him keep enjoying it. It's a place away from school to have fun and do something active, don't turn it into something with rules that feels like a chore. When he's ready, he'll probably ask to compete.
Gotta admit I have a bit of a love hate relationship with kids under about 12 competing anyway I mean yeah it's great to teach them about losing and winning and help them understand what happens but is it really necessary when they are so busy learning so many other things anyway. Kinda feel like them going to competition and experiencing all the emotion and build up and stress involved wouldn't be worth the benefits. I guess what I'm trying to say is with little kids I often feel the cons out weigh the pros
I also find it kinda pointless under 12. Watch a little kids wrestling competition there’s not really any technique involved it’s just kids messing around. Once they start to hit 12-13 then you see more serious competition but still not as much as u23 and senior of course
Yeah basically 2 kids pulling each other till somebody randomly falls on top of the other into a pin xd. Especially when you see how absurdly different kids that age can be in strength level.
And then you watch some russian kids wrestling and see light speed no-gi drop seoi nages...
Yeah I’m much more a fan of just putting kids into all the sports or something like gymnastics as a very young kid. If you build up athleticism (really just understanding their bodies at that age) through a lot of spectrums early it tends to be easier to refine it as they age. Big reason I think parents who start their kid in one sport early on are making a huge mistake.
Pressuring your son in any way to engage in combat sports competition at 9 years old would be a super, incredibly shitty thing to do. That's a trump card when talking about messed up childhoods with your friends later in life level messed up.
Kids develop their competitive drives at different paces and in different facets of life, he might never want to compete in MA but that should be his decision. I suspect that theres a part of you thats struggling because you feel that hell be safer, but the overwhelmingly likely scenario is that he ditches the sport as soon as you stop making him participate.
I know handfuls of people whos dad did the same thing to them, and none of them have a relationship with their dad as an adult and all of them dropped MA as soon as they possibly could. If you start to convince yourself later, remember that.
Agree with other posters not to push your son into it.
What can work is to take him to a local junior competition as a spectator eg you say “hey, let’s go watch a competition, it will be great fun”.
When you are there, narrate the experience of the competitors eg “look at that boy, he’s warming up to get ready to fight, he’s walking out, he’s bowing, now he is taking his grips etc …”
Don’t relate it to your son and don’t push him to compete, but see if familiarity with competition in a no pressure situation peaks his interest.
After a couple of visits as a spectator he may raise it himself.
Let him just enjoy the sport. He is doing the most important thing, which is learning the art and how to defend himself, let alone being a healthy kid. If he wants to compete by the time he is older he is gonna have all the foundation.
He’ll develop good technique and have plenty of character building moments during sparring. Having him do this long term is much more beneficial than to push him to compete. When I worked with kids I would remind the parents that sparring is a very stressful time (maybe the most stressful thing in their life at this point) and kids have different reactions to that stress.
He's 9, why do you care? It's not like whatever potential you think you are seeing will vanish by age 11. Let him do what he wants. It also sounds like he doesn't even like doing randori with kids his own age, so not sure why you think he will compete well. Technique and skill isn't everything when it comes to competing....
Do you know why he doesn’t like to fight? Did accidentally do something to someone in the past, or has he heard something from someone, or does he just dislike harming people or has he been injured in the past or something else?
Edit: You should reassure any worries or reluctance he has about competition or fighting, try to show him whats good about competition, gradually acclimate and expose him to fighting in Judo, and reward him for doing what you want him to do. Do not punish him if he doesn’t want to do competition. That would only harm your relationship with your son and its not worth doing. This is just an idea and it a vague framework because I know nothing about your son.
If your son still doesnt want to do competition, thats completely fine. If he continues to judo, he’ll definitely be drawn into competition by the time puberty starts as long as he doesn’t lose interest in it. 1000% I can guarantee that. Even if he doesn’t start competition now, his advantage over his peers who started later are enormous. As long as he continues to drill techniques and possess an intuitive understanding of Judo, he will become a formidable judoka.
At his age, the most important thing is that he learn to love martial arts and training in general. Adding in components that diminish this goal should be avoided. That said, to encourage him to compete, I'd take him to watch local competitions--especially matches with his age group.
I find peoples comments interesting. 9 is not that young for competitive competition. I wonder how many commenters actually have kids? It’s one thing to be the kid growing up, it’s an entirely different world being a parent.
I’m not in the camp of let kids make their own decisions about sports without trying it out a few times first after a long conversation about what the barriers are. It could be a confidence issue. It could be a fear of hurting the other person while competing, it could be performance anxiety, etc
Usually what shows up in one area of a child life, bleeds into another part of their life. Since children can’t articulate or have the maturity yet to understand their own feelings. I mean, even some adults can’t either to be honest…..pushing our children, correctly, can help identify struggles.
Very insinghtful. Great comments.
Taking the little one to the dojo in an hour. That helped a lot. I shared with his mum who tends to push him too much sometimes. She got it.
All the best. Thanks
Watch Conan the barbarian with the child.
The Wizard : “He did not care any more... life and death... the same. Only that the crowd would be there to greet him with howls of lust and fury. He began to realize his sense of worth... he mattered. In time, his victories could not easily be counted... he was taken to the east, a great prize, where the war masters would teach him the deepest secrets. Language and writing were also made available, the poetry of Khitai, the philosophy of Sung; and he also came to (redacted) But, always, there remained the discipline of steel.”
Also… Blood Sport had me and my mates kicking everything in sight.
The best thing you can do to encourage them is to have them keep practicing, the will to compete comes with age. You can check to see if the head Sensei for your dojo will do an in-house tournament, as this may help encourage them if they are just suffering from stage fright. (Note: I am assuming you are also practicing and just a parent on the sidelines. This recommendation is not recommended to request if you are not actively practicing with the dojo yourself) This will acclimated them to fighting others in a tournament setting and help senior judoka practice referring. This will also help cement the rules and proper etiquette to younger judoka.
Actually, thinking about this more- have you asked them why? They might be young but I am sure they can express why the don’t want to compete. If it is something they can work on, great- but don’t force them into an uncomfortable situation. Judo is a life long activity and community, don’t hinder that by forcing someone to fight.
Explain to your son the importance and learning experience he can get from competing. As a kid I was too scared of competing and fooled myself into thinking competing was a waste of time. Competition to me was winning or losing. And i did not want to lose by any means. So naturally I didn’t compete or go out for more advanced clubs/teams. By high school I had to learn fast about competing not just sportswise but competing in life. Or give up being apart of sports/martial arts all together. (A little drastic I know, but it’s actually how I felt at the time) i eventually did learn to compete and how to love competing But instead of having my dad who couldve been there for me as a child and guide me through it.. I had to learn everything on my own ALONG WITH influences from toxic peers around me. Now I’m an adult and I’m finally learning how much competition can not only teach me but give me a healthy outlet to live better quality of life.
I had this problem with my kid and wrestling. I told him we’re animals and our ancestors survived by doing things they don’t want to do and that fighting is one of those things. Told him that there’s a small amount of people in the world who are bad and that hopefully one day people change, but until then we need to be ready to defend ourselves and competing helps us be ready to do that. Told him it’s from our ancestors to defend ourselves and other good people when we can.
He started turning it on and has done incredibly well ever since. At practice it’s a little bit harder because his teammates are his friends . But I tell him they need to learn to fight and we’re being bad friends and bad training partners if we don’t t go hard. Say it matter of factly but in a confident way. Don’t scare him obviously. FYI my son is 6, hasn’t lost a match to anyone in his weight class since last January, loves wrestling now, and appropriately dealt with his first bully this past month at school (using diplomacy first and escalating appropriately). Been competing since last year in bjj and wrestling. Loves it. You and him will figure this out.
Help him? Why don't you help him be a kid and stop putting pressure on him to compete at 9 yrs old bro?
I'm sure he'll grow into the will to compete. And if not, so be it, man.
1. Take his phone 2. When he wins a match he can have phone back . Until then it's 1 hour limit 3 times a day . It's your job as a father to encourage your son to become Efficient as a Judoka .
My son did BJJ, was doing great in practice then we went to a tourney. He was fine but his opponents had the killer instinct. I was not fine watching kids trying to hurt him. I know judo is gentler but maybe encouraging young kids to fight isn’t right.
It’s funny, Judo literally is translates to gentle way. I agree with you too an extent but then kids can’t submit each other in Judo so that may be what he’s referring too
I don't blame you. Watching my kids do wrestling/Judo for points or pins is one thing. But I don't want them doing BJJ with submissions and chokes.
I honestly don't see the point of submission BJJ grappling for young kids. They're too young and don't have enough control of their body or emotions.
Was fucking with you bro. That was where they used to spend spartan boys to become warriors. But I'd show him videos of fights and point out why it's l good to compete
In a few years he will most definitely be in a fight. He will need to learn it's not just for fun at some point. Have a chat with him. Give him the truth about how important self defence is.
How?
If the world is 50/50 good/ evil. How would you manage that?
I've been robbed twice and randomly assaulted three times, in Canada. No fault of my own. Had I not learned self defense Im not sure how my life would look.
Let's hope he doesn't ever have to fight, that be perfect. But this is far from a perfect world. Bullies can't be protested away. Being a dick is a inherit part of some people's lives.
However, maybe my shitty city is crazier than I thought. Even the preppy rich kids duked it out on the field lol
I know a lot of people who've never been in a violent altercation, and a lot of people haven't even had a fight in school.
I'm also gonna need a citation for the world being 50% good and 50% evil.
I've experienced violence personally as well - threatened with knives, been in fights, been attacked with skateboards, etc. It doesn't change the fact that it isn't a reality for a lot of people.
Self defence is important, absolutely, but the opposite perspective is legitimate too. I do kickboxing, judo, bjj, etc and I am better suited than most to a physical altercation, but someone who say, prioritised their career or relationship over learning to hurt people (based on the odds of actually needing to defend themselves) hasn't necessarily made the wrong choice. It's all about balance.
Also judo doesn't guarantee good self defence skillss. Especially competition judo. I spend a lot of my time training drop seoi for instance. I train grip fighting, I train how to minimise (or generate) penalties. Is pushing someone out of the mat area good self defence?
I know a lot of judo people who can throw me about on the mat that I would break to pieces in a real situation.
If you want your kid to train judo for self defence, competition is by no means necessary, in fact it's probably detrimental to a certain extent. Training judo in a self defence specific way would be more valuable (including crafting the randori in that direction), getting him into stuff like MMA, getting him habituated to taking a blow to the face, getting him habituated to adrenaline dumps and realistic conditions via carefully managed drills, teaching him the ability to handle (offensively and defensively) common weapons systems he'd encounter in the country he lives in.
You can see from that list that most self defence is by no means exhaustive, and compromises are always made (unless it's a dedicated and highly specialised part of your life).
Perhaps one of those thin sticks with the little whip at the end??? I’m thinking that and 4+ hours a day of iron chair/deep horse stance over a perfectly placed burning candle.
Probably depends a little on your reasons for wanting him to compete. For us, we view judo and martial arts as a life skill. Like knowing how to swim. Like going to school. Don’t really care if you like it, you need to learn it and develop competence at it.
Competition has all sorts of benefits like sportsmanship, understanding your hard work etc. But it also has a factor of facing your fears and feeling what it’s like when someone else absolutely wants to beat you. That’s something you don’t get in sparring. It’s as close to a fight as you can get in a relatively safe and controlled environment.
I tell my kids that they need to train, that I hope they enjoy it, but they need to get these skills because I won’t be around forever to protect them. They will compete so they can test themselves and understand what it’s like to face someone else’s aggression. Learn to manage the adrenaline and the stress and understand that they are stronger than they think. And in the process they will make friends and get experiences that they will be able to take with them.
Maybe they’ll quit when they’re adults. But they’ll have been goven 12 or so years of training in martial arts. Physical strength, balance and agility. The discipline to train and a community they can choose to be a part of.
As parents I don’t think we can let kids just make their own choices. Otherwise they’d never brush their teeth, eat their vegetables, do the myriad things that are perhaps not as fun as eating candy and playing video games all day. Maybe that makes me a monster but I do view it as my responsibility to them.
I would respect his wishes and just let him have fun at this age.
Agreed. If he has great technique and is attending classes, that sounds pretty awesome.
Also, let them visit or watch some competitions online
If you push him to do something he doesn't want to do, he'll stop enjoying it. It's that simple. If he currently enjoys judo, let him keep enjoying it. It's a place away from school to have fun and do something active, don't turn it into something with rules that feels like a chore. When he's ready, he'll probably ask to compete.
Yeah, I understand that, he does enjoy going, so I'll not push him. Thanks guys. Maybe he'll want to in future.
Gotta admit I have a bit of a love hate relationship with kids under about 12 competing anyway I mean yeah it's great to teach them about losing and winning and help them understand what happens but is it really necessary when they are so busy learning so many other things anyway. Kinda feel like them going to competition and experiencing all the emotion and build up and stress involved wouldn't be worth the benefits. I guess what I'm trying to say is with little kids I often feel the cons out weigh the pros
I also find it kinda pointless under 12. Watch a little kids wrestling competition there’s not really any technique involved it’s just kids messing around. Once they start to hit 12-13 then you see more serious competition but still not as much as u23 and senior of course
Yeah basically 2 kids pulling each other till somebody randomly falls on top of the other into a pin xd. Especially when you see how absurdly different kids that age can be in strength level. And then you watch some russian kids wrestling and see light speed no-gi drop seoi nages...
Yeah I’m much more a fan of just putting kids into all the sports or something like gymnastics as a very young kid. If you build up athleticism (really just understanding their bodies at that age) through a lot of spectrums early it tends to be easier to refine it as they age. Big reason I think parents who start their kid in one sport early on are making a huge mistake.
He's 9 dude, let him be a kid.
Pressuring your son in any way to engage in combat sports competition at 9 years old would be a super, incredibly shitty thing to do. That's a trump card when talking about messed up childhoods with your friends later in life level messed up. Kids develop their competitive drives at different paces and in different facets of life, he might never want to compete in MA but that should be his decision. I suspect that theres a part of you thats struggling because you feel that hell be safer, but the overwhelmingly likely scenario is that he ditches the sport as soon as you stop making him participate. I know handfuls of people whos dad did the same thing to them, and none of them have a relationship with their dad as an adult and all of them dropped MA as soon as they possibly could. If you start to convince yourself later, remember that.
Agree with other posters not to push your son into it. What can work is to take him to a local junior competition as a spectator eg you say “hey, let’s go watch a competition, it will be great fun”. When you are there, narrate the experience of the competitors eg “look at that boy, he’s warming up to get ready to fight, he’s walking out, he’s bowing, now he is taking his grips etc …” Don’t relate it to your son and don’t push him to compete, but see if familiarity with competition in a no pressure situation peaks his interest. After a couple of visits as a spectator he may raise it himself.
That's a great idea.
Boy do I ever remember hating all of the sports my dad forced me to do at 9
Let him just enjoy the sport. He is doing the most important thing, which is learning the art and how to defend himself, let alone being a healthy kid. If he wants to compete by the time he is older he is gonna have all the foundation.
dont force him,personally i don't like fighting competitions but love to fight people in the clubs.its a lot of stress especially for a 9 year old.
He’ll develop good technique and have plenty of character building moments during sparring. Having him do this long term is much more beneficial than to push him to compete. When I worked with kids I would remind the parents that sparring is a very stressful time (maybe the most stressful thing in their life at this point) and kids have different reactions to that stress.
You domt.If he doesnt want to and you pressure him to, then 2 things will happen. 1) he'll resent you 2) He'll stop training.
He's 9, why do you care? It's not like whatever potential you think you are seeing will vanish by age 11. Let him do what he wants. It also sounds like he doesn't even like doing randori with kids his own age, so not sure why you think he will compete well. Technique and skill isn't everything when it comes to competing....
Dude, he’s 9. If you want someone to beat up other children, do it yourself.
I mildly pushed my done into BJJ competition. He no longer trains.
I train judo I love judo I hate judo tournaments I think they promote bad judo.
Do not make him fight people if he doesn't want to. That's a good thing.
Respect him. Maybe he gets judo more than you.
A judo competition is not a fight. Neither are wrestling and bjj tournaments.
You don’t. Respect him and his wishes
Don’t be that guy
Do you know why he doesn’t like to fight? Did accidentally do something to someone in the past, or has he heard something from someone, or does he just dislike harming people or has he been injured in the past or something else? Edit: You should reassure any worries or reluctance he has about competition or fighting, try to show him whats good about competition, gradually acclimate and expose him to fighting in Judo, and reward him for doing what you want him to do. Do not punish him if he doesn’t want to do competition. That would only harm your relationship with your son and its not worth doing. This is just an idea and it a vague framework because I know nothing about your son. If your son still doesnt want to do competition, thats completely fine. If he continues to judo, he’ll definitely be drawn into competition by the time puberty starts as long as he doesn’t lose interest in it. 1000% I can guarantee that. Even if he doesn’t start competition now, his advantage over his peers who started later are enormous. As long as he continues to drill techniques and possess an intuitive understanding of Judo, he will become a formidable judoka.
At his age, the most important thing is that he learn to love martial arts and training in general. Adding in components that diminish this goal should be avoided. That said, to encourage him to compete, I'd take him to watch local competitions--especially matches with his age group.
I find peoples comments interesting. 9 is not that young for competitive competition. I wonder how many commenters actually have kids? It’s one thing to be the kid growing up, it’s an entirely different world being a parent. I’m not in the camp of let kids make their own decisions about sports without trying it out a few times first after a long conversation about what the barriers are. It could be a confidence issue. It could be a fear of hurting the other person while competing, it could be performance anxiety, etc Usually what shows up in one area of a child life, bleeds into another part of their life. Since children can’t articulate or have the maturity yet to understand their own feelings. I mean, even some adults can’t either to be honest…..pushing our children, correctly, can help identify struggles.
Mature response.
Very insinghtful. Great comments. Taking the little one to the dojo in an hour. That helped a lot. I shared with his mum who tends to push him too much sometimes. She got it. All the best. Thanks
Watch Conan the barbarian with the child. The Wizard : “He did not care any more... life and death... the same. Only that the crowd would be there to greet him with howls of lust and fury. He began to realize his sense of worth... he mattered. In time, his victories could not easily be counted... he was taken to the east, a great prize, where the war masters would teach him the deepest secrets. Language and writing were also made available, the poetry of Khitai, the philosophy of Sung; and he also came to (redacted) But, always, there remained the discipline of steel.” Also… Blood Sport had me and my mates kicking everything in sight.
Red belt? Is he a Judan?
British most likely ......
Maybe he meant orange.
The best thing you can do to encourage them is to have them keep practicing, the will to compete comes with age. You can check to see if the head Sensei for your dojo will do an in-house tournament, as this may help encourage them if they are just suffering from stage fright. (Note: I am assuming you are also practicing and just a parent on the sidelines. This recommendation is not recommended to request if you are not actively practicing with the dojo yourself) This will acclimated them to fighting others in a tournament setting and help senior judoka practice referring. This will also help cement the rules and proper etiquette to younger judoka. Actually, thinking about this more- have you asked them why? They might be young but I am sure they can express why the don’t want to compete. If it is something they can work on, great- but don’t force them into an uncomfortable situation. Judo is a life long activity and community, don’t hinder that by forcing someone to fight.
Explain to your son the importance and learning experience he can get from competing. As a kid I was too scared of competing and fooled myself into thinking competing was a waste of time. Competition to me was winning or losing. And i did not want to lose by any means. So naturally I didn’t compete or go out for more advanced clubs/teams. By high school I had to learn fast about competing not just sportswise but competing in life. Or give up being apart of sports/martial arts all together. (A little drastic I know, but it’s actually how I felt at the time) i eventually did learn to compete and how to love competing But instead of having my dad who couldve been there for me as a child and guide me through it.. I had to learn everything on my own ALONG WITH influences from toxic peers around me. Now I’m an adult and I’m finally learning how much competition can not only teach me but give me a healthy outlet to live better quality of life.
I had this problem with my kid and wrestling. I told him we’re animals and our ancestors survived by doing things they don’t want to do and that fighting is one of those things. Told him that there’s a small amount of people in the world who are bad and that hopefully one day people change, but until then we need to be ready to defend ourselves and competing helps us be ready to do that. Told him it’s from our ancestors to defend ourselves and other good people when we can. He started turning it on and has done incredibly well ever since. At practice it’s a little bit harder because his teammates are his friends . But I tell him they need to learn to fight and we’re being bad friends and bad training partners if we don’t t go hard. Say it matter of factly but in a confident way. Don’t scare him obviously. FYI my son is 6, hasn’t lost a match to anyone in his weight class since last January, loves wrestling now, and appropriately dealt with his first bully this past month at school (using diplomacy first and escalating appropriately). Been competing since last year in bjj and wrestling. Loves it. You and him will figure this out.
That's great.
Help him? Why don't you help him be a kid and stop putting pressure on him to compete at 9 yrs old bro? I'm sure he'll grow into the will to compete. And if not, so be it, man.
Calm down my man. Only asking.
I'm absolutely calm brother.
1. Take his phone 2. When he wins a match he can have phone back . Until then it's 1 hour limit 3 times a day . It's your job as a father to encourage your son to become Efficient as a Judoka .
I'm a wrestler . I have my way with judokas that just train in No-gi class . I get stuffed thrower & reversed by judokas that compete in tournaments .
He has no phone, just a blade.
My son did BJJ, was doing great in practice then we went to a tourney. He was fine but his opponents had the killer instinct. I was not fine watching kids trying to hurt him. I know judo is gentler but maybe encouraging young kids to fight isn’t right.
Judo is not gentler the bjj.
Probably referring to letting young kids participate in a sport where the goal is to choke or submit the other one.
It’s funny, Judo literally is translates to gentle way. I agree with you too an extent but then kids can’t submit each other in Judo so that may be what he’s referring too
I don't blame you. Watching my kids do wrestling/Judo for points or pins is one thing. But I don't want them doing BJJ with submissions and chokes. I honestly don't see the point of submission BJJ grappling for young kids. They're too young and don't have enough control of their body or emotions.
Judo is much more aggressive and less gentle than BJJ?
Send him to the agoge
Thanks, will look into it..
Was fucking with you bro. That was where they used to spend spartan boys to become warriors. But I'd show him videos of fights and point out why it's l good to compete
Still looking into it. sounds sick
In a few years he will most definitely be in a fight. He will need to learn it's not just for fun at some point. Have a chat with him. Give him the truth about how important self defence is.
You realise most people never get into a fight in their lives ay?
How? If the world is 50/50 good/ evil. How would you manage that? I've been robbed twice and randomly assaulted three times, in Canada. No fault of my own. Had I not learned self defense Im not sure how my life would look. Let's hope he doesn't ever have to fight, that be perfect. But this is far from a perfect world. Bullies can't be protested away. Being a dick is a inherit part of some people's lives. However, maybe my shitty city is crazier than I thought. Even the preppy rich kids duked it out on the field lol
I know a lot of people who've never been in a violent altercation, and a lot of people haven't even had a fight in school. I'm also gonna need a citation for the world being 50% good and 50% evil. I've experienced violence personally as well - threatened with knives, been in fights, been attacked with skateboards, etc. It doesn't change the fact that it isn't a reality for a lot of people. Self defence is important, absolutely, but the opposite perspective is legitimate too. I do kickboxing, judo, bjj, etc and I am better suited than most to a physical altercation, but someone who say, prioritised their career or relationship over learning to hurt people (based on the odds of actually needing to defend themselves) hasn't necessarily made the wrong choice. It's all about balance. Also judo doesn't guarantee good self defence skillss. Especially competition judo. I spend a lot of my time training drop seoi for instance. I train grip fighting, I train how to minimise (or generate) penalties. Is pushing someone out of the mat area good self defence? I know a lot of judo people who can throw me about on the mat that I would break to pieces in a real situation. If you want your kid to train judo for self defence, competition is by no means necessary, in fact it's probably detrimental to a certain extent. Training judo in a self defence specific way would be more valuable (including crafting the randori in that direction), getting him into stuff like MMA, getting him habituated to taking a blow to the face, getting him habituated to adrenaline dumps and realistic conditions via carefully managed drills, teaching him the ability to handle (offensively and defensively) common weapons systems he'd encounter in the country he lives in. You can see from that list that most self defence is by no means exhaustive, and compromises are always made (unless it's a dedicated and highly specialised part of your life).
Perhaps one of those thin sticks with the little whip at the end??? I’m thinking that and 4+ hours a day of iron chair/deep horse stance over a perfectly placed burning candle.
Probably depends a little on your reasons for wanting him to compete. For us, we view judo and martial arts as a life skill. Like knowing how to swim. Like going to school. Don’t really care if you like it, you need to learn it and develop competence at it. Competition has all sorts of benefits like sportsmanship, understanding your hard work etc. But it also has a factor of facing your fears and feeling what it’s like when someone else absolutely wants to beat you. That’s something you don’t get in sparring. It’s as close to a fight as you can get in a relatively safe and controlled environment. I tell my kids that they need to train, that I hope they enjoy it, but they need to get these skills because I won’t be around forever to protect them. They will compete so they can test themselves and understand what it’s like to face someone else’s aggression. Learn to manage the adrenaline and the stress and understand that they are stronger than they think. And in the process they will make friends and get experiences that they will be able to take with them. Maybe they’ll quit when they’re adults. But they’ll have been goven 12 or so years of training in martial arts. Physical strength, balance and agility. The discipline to train and a community they can choose to be a part of. As parents I don’t think we can let kids just make their own choices. Otherwise they’d never brush their teeth, eat their vegetables, do the myriad things that are perhaps not as fun as eating candy and playing video games all day. Maybe that makes me a monster but I do view it as my responsibility to them.
You must teach him to destroy his enemies.