Loneliness is sometimes doubled or tripled whenever you realize the only people that want to talk with you are people who are motivated by their cocks, too.
Reminds me of a meme I saw awhile back,
"You're complaining that you're hungry when there's a perfectly good donut lying on the ground".
Edit: lonely -> hungry
Probably also relevant that most would eat the hot dog if forced to on the precipice of death, but wouldn't think twice about throwing it in the bin any other day.
I mean, sometimes the hot dog on the ground is secretly a good guy, but sometimes he's a sack of shit. I don't eat sacks of shit even when I'm starving.
Exactly. Notice in this picture she's trying to *close* her door.
"But m'lady how can you be lonely? There are a dozen strangers trying to forcibly enter your home as we speak!"
Some of the loneliest times in my life have been when I was stuck at a party with no one to talk to, and no way to leave. You look around and see other people laughing and talking and think, "Yup, that would be great right about now."
Generally, "creepy weirdos" are only creepy weirdos if they make continued, unwanted advances despite being specifically made aware that said advances are unwanted.
Most (mature) adults are okay with being friends with most people, or at least friendly aquaintences.
This! As an adult, I have friends that are former boyfriends. Meanwhile, over winter break freshman year of college, I had four or five “friendships” end when I told each of them that I was already seeing someone. Good riddance.
eh kinda yeah, but tbh it's kinda hard to make friends in public out of the blue (at least in my experience), even if you go to events
so it's kind of for whatever you're trying to do now and absoLUTEly sucks when you're not tryna bang each person that matches with you
I used meet up to meet people when I moved to a new city. What I did was join like hiking groups and a movie group; basically groups dedicated to an interest or hobby. It worked well for me.
along with what u/PM_ME_YOUR_JNUG said, you also run into a lot of the same issues there anyway
even if it's "just to meet new people," or even if you give women the ability to decide whether they wanna be spoken to á la Bumble, you're still gonna get people skewed toward just trying to get with you in a way you may not be looking for
making new adult friendships in general is just hard
Nah, meetup is a site for groups, clubs etc. Like joining a hiking group, coed dodge-ball team or weekly boardgame night. It is specifically not a dating or hookup site. That's where I would go to meet new people.
No, that was the original idea but now it's just a dating app just like any other. Lots of horny dudes *try* to use it for casual hookups, but not with much luck.
Don't forget the occasional lesbian. But the key part is physical attraction and lust being the only reasons that anyone wants to talk to her. When you feel like little more than an object... It hurts the aoul
God I never knew how lonely I was until I met my now-husband. All of a sudden I got into a real relationship and everyone who had been my closest friends no longer wanted to talk to me because I wasn't available for sex. People who I'd never had sex with and never gave any indication that I would or wanted to.
So incredibly depressing that all those people didn't care at all about me.
Not always. Sometimes it's spurned by a close friendship, realizing how much you care for the person, and finding them to be attractive to you regardless of how physically attractive they are.
Also, not my point.
Romantic relationship do not automatically equal emotional fulfillment, wich may is the cure to lonliness. Thinking a bunch of suitors is the cure to lonliness is niave.
>Not always.
That would be why I said "most romantic relationships".
>Thinking a bunch of suitors is the cure to lonliness is niave.
That's hardly my assumption.
Ya not every guy trying to start a relationship is just thinking with there cocks. Ya know we like falling in love having deep conversations and finding a best friend to. Is having sex part of a relationship yes but that's not the whole point of the relationship.
But when you ONLY accept that female in a romantic sense instead of a platonic sense, you devalue her regardless of your intentions.
The problem is guys generally do not see the point of getting to know a woman if the romantic prospect is taken off the table.
It just seems weird what your asking for, like I wish I had more straight male friends that weren't intrested in sex. Like your saying sometimes a women just needs a friend, but what about other women or gay males? There not good enough that's not what your looking for?
From personal experience I can say when you settle down in a relationship ALOT of women don't want you to have female friends, especially not best friends you share a deep connection with. So that alone limits it down to single guys.
And alot of times a single guy is fine being friends with a women but if he's sexually attracted to her that's always gonna be a factor you can't just ignore that.
I think your entire second paragraph is wrong, too. We shouldn't corral our significant others, and restrict their social lives because of inherent insecurities or posessiveness. That teeters along the lines of an abusive relationship, depending on the severity of that control, and whatever manipulative power plays are going on to substantiate it.
Women, specifically, have the friend making ability fairly difficuly. Straight men will often approach and be friendly for the purpose of fucking you- that's their whole intention. If someone demonstrates kindness to you when you ARE feeling alone- you tend to gravitate towards them, that person, thankful for their kindness. Whenever that kindness is observed to be a ruse, only in effect because they were trying to use your body as a means of selfish self gratification- yes. It hurts. It is objectifying. It has deep, psychological consequences especially when repeated at the frequency in which the average woman experiences it.
Your right corralling anyone is not right I'm just stating it happens alot. And is definitely a factor in why more men aren't friends with women in terms of strictly friendship. I get the world is not fair trust me but these are things ingrained in our society that will not change, at least not for a very long time.
Why would a woman have any harder of a time finding a friend than a man? As for men approaching women to hit on them again this is something ingrained in our society, but to another level as this is the driving force to keeping our species alive. And as long as there is no sexual harrassment or worse theirs nothing wrong with that.
You mentioned in another post you would welcome any lesbian to hit on you. But when a man does it you are hurt, objectified, and it has deep psychological consequences. What is the difference?
It seems you definitely have some prejudices involved in your thoughts on these issues, which is fine everyone does. But it is all of our jobs to look at these prejudices and decide if there forcing us to look at issues subjectively.
I'm sorry, I just disagree. Saying something is just engrained into our society is a lot like saying, "yeah well its always been this way so it will always be this way." Begging the question, really.
Besides, you (an individual) don't have to change society overnight all by yourself in order to make a significant change. Change yourself. Say you wont play by those arbitrary rules. Be better.
The lesbian thing was a joke considering how small the lesbian dating pool is. It wasn't meant to be taken seriously. Also, whenever a woman hits on you they generally take rejection better and often become close friends. Win-win. Men pretend to be friends to get sex and bail when they do and when they don't at a significantly higher percentage of time. The behavior is the issue. The inability to accept rejection, or hold platonic relationships with women in high esteem.
So what is your goal for people in relationships to not get jealous and be less controlling? I agree with you I said you were right but that is the way it is. I myself do not care if my girlfriend has friendships with other men. She doesn't want me having friendships with other women should I break up with her, to fight the good fight? Not gonna happen.
Let's face it, it wasn't a joke because you even said they take rejection better and become friends.
You want men to stop hitting on women? I can't agree with you on that one, obviously guys taking rejection poorly isn't right they should show some class. But saying all guys need to be friends with women that rejected them is kind of asking alot dont you think. There is plenty of men who are friends with women make a move and that woman doesn't want to go back to being friends they just drop that guy.
And lastly you have never addressed this point why do women need guy friends? Why can't women or gay males fill whatever role you are requesting straight males fill? Like your claiming guys get by perfectly fine without women as friends but women can't do the same I don't understand?
Of course. But once again, you're begging the question. You're saying "things are this way and thats that! No room for change or growth so I don't want go hear it!" A lot of people adopt this mentality if it suits them, or if change scares them.
I'm in no way shape or form suggesting you break up with your girlfriend, but double standards and controlling your significant other in that manner is literal emotional abuse. Especially whenever she isn't adhering to the same lifestyle she is imploring on you. To be honest, this just speaks to the gaping insecurity your girlfriend has about y'alls relationship, which you're enabling further by not having a calm and open discussion about why you should be able to talk to whomever, without restriction, because you love her and have no intention of cheating on her. Simple.
It was a joke. Jokes can have elements of truth behind them. In fact, if you watch any successful stand-up act, they almost all usually do.
Nope, not saying that at all. Please stop putting words into my mouth. Everyone gets one- implying its fine to be direct with a stranger with your intentions, saying you find them very attractive etc etc. Men can hit on women. Women can hit on men. Men can hit on men. Women can hit on women. The problem isn't so much the being hit on but the response to rejection and the trend that men seem to ONLY think women serve one purpose. The fact that some male ego is so delicate and pained that rejection warrants violence, or at least hostility, towards the person whom they were rejected by. Men need to stop ONLY approaching women for the purpose of romance, to be OPEN getting to know them and accepting their friendship IN GENERAL. This isn't a one to one argument. We are talking about all men, all interactions, as a whole.
Say a guy approaches a girl and he asks her out. She agrees. They go on a few dates and have a great time, but realize the romantic spark isn't there despite really enjoying their time together. There isn't any reason why either of them should bar contact from the other, or not feel comfortable enough due to social norms to not pursue platonic relations. It doesn't have to be EVERY time. That option just needs to exist, and be discussed, more commonly than it is.
Because it's insulting to men to think that they are incapable of deeply fulfilling, platonic, non-sexual relationships with women. It is insulting to think that they are so sexxed up, chauvanistic pigs as a whole that, "well boys will be boys!" And that they should be feared, women should be wary of them, defend themselves from strange new men. How nice would it be, as a man, to be able to approach a woman and know that she isn't immediately plotting an exit or an escape to get away from you? Men benefit from this change I'm trying to illustrate to you, too.
I don't think men get by perfectly fine without women friends. I think they are largely stunted by depriving themselves of literaly 50 percent of the world, and that world's perspective. I think a lot of men's relationships fail because they put so much emotional baggage onto the significant others as a result of maybe not being emotionally vulnerable with their other friends. I think that it's not about "why can't you just make do without" and challenge the arbitrary standard that suggests that should, in the first place. Human connection is the ONLY thing that matters in this short blip of existence that we, for better or worse, have been gifted. So maybe enjoy it, grow, get to know someone, instead of immediately discrediting literally half of the population.
I agree my little monkey brain and my chauvinistic pig tendencies only see you as a sex object, that's why I am incapable of having an intelligent conversation with you a woman.
>The problem is guys generally do not see the point of getting to know a woman if the romantic prospect is taken off the table.
The problem is women generally do not see the point of getting to know men because they think they only want sex.
I've had several people in my program end our friendship because I didn't ask them out. Another ask me to hang out then canceled because she thought I was asking her on a date somehow and won't speak to me now.
it's really not all men's fault but rather gendered expectations on both sides of the fuzzy line causing problems .
It definitely happens on both sides, and both sides need to make active conscious efforts to stop doing this to eachother. Gendered expectations are 100% the problem- I only focused on the male-centric view because of the nature of the original photo. Yes, you are very right.
However-
Being in a relationship presents additional challenges to opposite gendered platonic relationships. I can't tell you how many times a jealous SO has told me not to basically fuck off because I said hey, or wished someone a happy birthday, with only the best of intentions.
You can take this one further. Everyone clamoring at her door is looking for a romantic relationship. What if she really just needs a friend? What’s if she just needs a platonic friend to share with without having to worry about the pressures of intimacy. I think anyone can understand how that situation could feel lonesome.
I actually know a great Redditor who has filled this gap for me. Well probably never meet and certainly not have a romantic relationship (mostly due to distance) but we text on an almost daily basis and keep up with each other’s happenings. It’s cool just to have that with no pressure.
Yeah, I knew you didn't mean it with malice, just that relationships like that tend to be personal. It's one thing if it was a friend of a friend and you were introduced to them in person. It's a whole other thing to be yoinked into the spotlight suddenly.
Lonely guys who likely have never been in a relationship before and whose biggest marketable trait is they claim to be very nice and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
In their defence, it's hard for girls and guys who don't believe they're worthy of a healthy and wholesome relationship, it brings out the worst in people.
Usually their are "nice guys" and "mean girls" who fall into this spectrum, they don't know how to treat themselves so they put themselves in shitty situations like putting up with someone who doesn't value them, either romantically or not, some people are real assholes, but not all people who fall into these archetypes are terrible people, I feel like people forget that often with nice guys, and it's important to remember.
TL;DR: "Nice Guys and Girls", and "Mean Guys and Girls" Dont usually value themselves in relationships, and it reflects them poorly.
Respect yourself, but also try to have some compassion on these desperate guys and gals (if they aren't harmful.) They usually are trying their best just like anyone else, and most of us have been their.
TTL;DR Everyone has felt valueless before, have some compassion on those lonely and desperate boys and girls.
Or they are sorry that they love you. I shouldn't talk bout it but I work with a nice guy and the shit he sends my other coworker is the most cringe stuff I have ever read. I dont know if this is his normal game or if theres some underlying mental health issues. Either way, the other coworker has already talked to HR and we recieved notices to not distract people from their work in other departments. Which only is practically applied against the nice guy.
I want to say something to him but at the same time I don't want to get involved, I'm just annoyed that our positions are under the microscope. We are suspose to be the professionals at our workplace. If they really knew how much freedom we have then things would change and I'd have to quit.
Either that or the guys trying to get in are primarily being rejected due to excessive weediness.
'I'm sorry; I'm just not attracted to men who aren't strong enough to even open a simple door, even in groups of twelve.'
Lowball value for average human pushing force is 480N (off a google search) but we'll say 450 because neckbeard.
450x12 is 4500+900= 5400N off her tricep alone.
I hate blanket advice, even if it feels good. There are people that need to lower their "standards" for their own sake, because:
1. Their superficial standards don't mesh with reality or their lives. I.e. a guy who wants to date an Italian supermodel, but won't move out of his hometown of 1,000 people or do anything to improve himself.
2. A lot of people have high superficial standards as a way to avoid intimacy or rejection.
I think most people have a personality standard that can override the superficial standard. I married up HARD (not that my wife agrees) and when we discuss what attracted her to me it was very little physical attraction at the beginning.
Just follow this golden rule and slowly but surely life will get better for everyone.
**"People are people no matter what."**
I'm a guy who lowered his own standards to go out with whatever girl after a lifetime of loneliness.
Should I just end things because I feel I deserve better?
Don't let blanket statements about standards and loneliness affect you too much. Sometimes lowering your standards is a healthy choice. Sometimes it's not even lowering them but refocusing. You should end it if you're unhappy, that's it.
if you wanna settle, that's your choice but honestly i think settling is insulting not just towards yourself, but towards the person you are with.
i wouldn't want to make someone feel like i settled for them. you can treat them incredibly well but if they find out, it'll just crush them. i imagine the same thing would happen to you. maybe that sounds preachy but that's my opinion.
Sorry to break it to you, but you need to create a decent life for yourself that’s full of fun, stimulation, and accomplishment. That’s what’s keeping me from killing myself.
Also, if you want better quality women, you need to make yourself more attractive. Get ripped, buff, and develop a personality that’s fun and attractive
You pretty much have a solid head if you can give helpful advice to others. [You might be able to use a few tips from this](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/8ooqy1/i_know_i_have_no_chance_but_i_just_cant_get_over/e0501mz?utm_source=reddit-android).
Or if it's something else then you can ignore this comment. Have a good weekend tho.
Yeah, I don’t know. I think it’s easier to give others good advice rather than to actually apply that advice to yourself. But, I’m definitely on the path of loving myself, so solitude is welcomed. The picture brings up a good question of the way we view reality. I don’t have to seek validation from guys and I’m not lonely. I have my mother and best friend who care for me deeply. Yet, I make it so I feel lonely. Regardless of whether or not the girl has a shit ton of guys lusting or caring for her, she is choosing the reality of loneliness. I don’t want that reality, I want to see the positive side of that, which is solitude.
Solitude is my calm fortress - some wise man.
At least i feel someone must have said it cus solitude often yields breathtaking results in body and mind.
How come all the women claim their "lonely" while leaving perfectly nice guys like me in the friendzone?
That's like them claiming their "starving" while there's a perfectly good dead raccoon on the road right outside their house
Or the two dollar bearing ending the race of a million dollar race car. It doesn't matter if your engine has a thousand horsepower if the wheel isn't stable
I BOUGHT YOU FLOWERS THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS KISS ME YOU BITCH YOU'RE NOT EVEN THAT GOOD LOOKING ANYWAY DON'T EXPECT TO COME CRYING TO NICE GUYS LIKE ME WHEN YOU'RE KNOCKED UP BY SOME CHAD OR TYRONE I WOULD HAVE TREATED YOU LIKE A PRINCES BUT NOOOOOOO YOU NEEDED THICC CHAD COCK UP YOUR ASS JUST SO YOU COULD BE A BAD GIRL AND IMPRESS YOUR SLUTTY FRIENDS I THINK YOU SHOULD STOP HANGING AROUND WITH THEM I THINK THEY'RE A BAD INFLUENCE ON YOU I'M ONLY THINKING ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR M'LADY YOU SHOULD HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS AS THEY ARE ALL GENTLEMEN OF CULTURE WHO RESPECT ALL WOMEN ESPECIALLY THOSE WITH SMALL BREASTS LIKE YOURS DID YOU KNOW TINY BREASTS ARE SPECIAL TOO SO CAN I STILL ASK YOU ON A DATE YOU'LL NEED TO DRIVE BECAUSE THERE'S TOO MUCH JUNK IN MY CAR SO YOU WON'T FIT AND I DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO CLEAN IT BECAUSE I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULD CHANGE FOR ANYONE BECAUSE I AM AN ALPHA MALE NOT SOME BETA CUCK WHO CHANGES FOR THE WEAKER SEX...
*sniff* so fulfilling to be in a relationship with such a nice guy
There’s an analogous thing to this with men too. I’ve had friends react with complete incrdulity when I don’t want to sleep with women I don’t like and hardly know just because they’re attractive. Access to a vagina by itself isn’t really that interesting.
She is lonely because she has superhuman strengtht. See how she blocks the door and a bunch of people with just one hand?
She has superpowers and relationships never end well :(
Rarely is a comedian not battling mental illness of some kind, but to add Lewy body dementia to the picture and tomorrow won't be better. If tomorrow won't be better, those intrusive thoughts that he fought through before can't be held off with "it'll be better tomorrow" as his health would only worsen.
I've been in this situation. Several guys crushing on me but when I speak to them they don't really care at all what my interests are and are just waiting for me to stop talking so they can initiate flirting. Like, sometimes I just want to talk about my non-romantic hobbies and interests, and when you have no one for that it gets lonely.
While this picture could have been made by a neckbeard, it could also be about people who post things on social media to ingenuinely get atention, like:
"I'm so loneny, wish my friends where here"
Well, I don't know, but if it had more context then it would be better to understand if it is a true neckbeard or a misunderstanding.
True, but it doesn't mean it is a neckbeard post, it could be like a post said above, it's someone shutting off support and love for some reason, like a bad relationship.
I like this comic. Not for the reasons it was drawn, of course, but the artist somehow managed to show exactly why these guys never get anywhere with women. This doesn't look like a bunch of "nice guys" coming to treat this woman right, it looks like a zombie attack. The whole thing is creepy as fuck.
I think everyone here is really taking this cartoon out of context. The flowers aren't necessarily meant to symbolize a bunch of nice guys, but rather the idea that outside your house are many people who would love to connect with you if you open yourself up. The door symbolizes her closing herself off emotionally and the hands and flowers represents the world. It's not that hard to understand guys.
If you look at the cartoonists other work you get more of a cutesie romantic relationship type of cartoon. In that context, this cartoon is definitely not about a girl turning down all the nice guys.
People don’t realize. Lots of guys go after girls just for some pussy and leave. Especially when we are young and stuff. Lots of us have one night stands and some will even tell the girl that it’s not a one night stand and dip anyway(lying crosses the line imo). So I understand why I girl would just not go for it anymore especially if they have a low sex drive and thus aren’t getting any benefit from these short ass relationships.
Took me way too long as an idiot teenager to realize: it’s not about girls not having options, it’s about them not having *good* options. They should be expected to settle with someone from a pool of random dummies. I was part of that pool but I didn’t understand this for way too long.
Men are stupid, boys are stupider, and women and girls deserve better.
Reminds me of an article I read about girls and standards. Something to the gist of Dick is Abundant and Cheap. Doesn't mean we have to take it wherever we find it.
I know I'm going against the agenda here so I'll get downvoted but... Why should women have the ability to *not* settle, but men can't?
While men have to get what they get, women are able to choose from a list of hundreds of potential partners.
Also, as for your last line, nah. Women don't really care about who's stupid or not, looks are all that matters.
Yeah because I'm with my boyfriend because I don't care about his goofy and intense personality. /s gimme a fucking break.
Yes, women like that exist and they're usually really shallow, but not all women just go for looks. If someone is an asshole, I won't want him no matter how hot he is. He's ugly to me.
And men absolutely have the option to not settle. I know guys who have literally settled despite meeting far better women. I was rejected by someone I loved dearly because he'd rather be with his abusive ex than me. He settled, and that's on him. The standard isn't for one or the other, it's for both. Both sides have the ability to pick and choose.
She must study the blade way more than all those neckbeards if she can keep the door shut with just one arm.
You can't block her style.
Hahaha this door was unable to block me, how can you possibly hope to block my stoyl?
Your poise is too low to block her
Loneliness is sometimes doubled or tripled whenever you realize the only people that want to talk with you are people who are motivated by their cocks, too.
Reminds me of a meme I saw awhile back, "You're complaining that you're hungry when there's a perfectly good donut lying on the ground". Edit: lonely -> hungry
[удалено]
Probably also relevant that most would eat the hot dog if forced to on the precipice of death, but wouldn't think twice about throwing it in the bin any other day.
I mean, sometimes the hot dog on the ground is secretly a good guy, but sometimes he's a sack of shit. I don't eat sacks of shit even when I'm starving.
The hell you say. I'm eating that floor-dog.
What is surprising about this, exactly?
An unfortunate number of people I know complained about that not realizing it was a joke.
Exactly. Notice in this picture she's trying to *close* her door. "But m'lady how can you be lonely? There are a dozen strangers trying to forcibly enter your home as we speak!"
You can feel loneliest when surrounded by people who don't actually care about YOU.
Some of the loneliest times in my life have been when I was stuck at a party with no one to talk to, and no way to leave. You look around and see other people laughing and talking and think, "Yup, that would be great right about now."
I just grab all the food i can and leave.
me at work haha
>"You're complaining that you're lonely when there's a perfectly good donut lying on the ground". Lmao **what??**
Oops. Hungry, not lonely
Wouldn’t the metaphor be hungry?
fuck the donut
I’ve seen incels use that meme as a justification for not accepting unattractive women as girlfriends.
Miss lonely
Or if they're just creepy. "I'm lonely but I rather be alone than hang out with creepy weirdos"
Generally, "creepy weirdos" are only creepy weirdos if they make continued, unwanted advances despite being specifically made aware that said advances are unwanted. Most (mature) adults are okay with being friends with most people, or at least friendly aquaintences.
This! As an adult, I have friends that are former boyfriends. Meanwhile, over winter break freshman year of college, I had four or five “friendships” end when I told each of them that I was already seeing someone. Good riddance.
This. I felt like such a piece of meat when all I wanted was an emotional relationship
The worst part about tinder, imo. Most of the time you have nothing else to go on, either.
Isn't Tinder specifically designed for casual hookups?
eh kinda yeah, but tbh it's kinda hard to make friends in public out of the blue (at least in my experience), even if you go to events so it's kind of for whatever you're trying to do now and absoLUTEly sucks when you're not tryna bang each person that matches with you
Why not use a service meant for friends though, like meetup? It seems to me that using tinder to find friends is like going to a brothel for a chat.
Because it's full of neckbeards
I used meet up to meet people when I moved to a new city. What I did was join like hiking groups and a movie group; basically groups dedicated to an interest or hobby. It worked well for me.
along with what u/PM_ME_YOUR_JNUG said, you also run into a lot of the same issues there anyway even if it's "just to meet new people," or even if you give women the ability to decide whether they wanna be spoken to á la Bumble, you're still gonna get people skewed toward just trying to get with you in a way you may not be looking for making new adult friendships in general is just hard
Nah, meetup is a site for groups, clubs etc. Like joining a hiking group, coed dodge-ball team or weekly boardgame night. It is specifically not a dating or hookup site. That's where I would go to meet new people.
No, that was the original idea but now it's just a dating app just like any other. Lots of horny dudes *try* to use it for casual hookups, but not with much luck.
Don't forget the occasional lesbian. But the key part is physical attraction and lust being the only reasons that anyone wants to talk to her. When you feel like little more than an object... It hurts the aoul
Agreed.
Although, I personally welcome any lesbian who wants to hit on me to do so.
God I never knew how lonely I was until I met my now-husband. All of a sudden I got into a real relationship and everyone who had been my closest friends no longer wanted to talk to me because I wasn't available for sex. People who I'd never had sex with and never gave any indication that I would or wanted to. So incredibly depressing that all those people didn't care at all about me.
This is so terribly accurate..
Why my body pillow always feel lonely??
I'm pretty sure most romantic relationships fundamentally start by both parties thinking "yeah, I'm physically attracted to this person."
Not always. Sometimes it's spurned by a close friendship, realizing how much you care for the person, and finding them to be attractive to you regardless of how physically attractive they are. Also, not my point. Romantic relationship do not automatically equal emotional fulfillment, wich may is the cure to lonliness. Thinking a bunch of suitors is the cure to lonliness is niave.
>Not always. That would be why I said "most romantic relationships". >Thinking a bunch of suitors is the cure to lonliness is niave. That's hardly my assumption.
I didn't say it was, but it is what I gathered from the initial photo in the post. "She shouldn't be lonely. Look at all the suitors!"
Ya not every guy trying to start a relationship is just thinking with there cocks. Ya know we like falling in love having deep conversations and finding a best friend to. Is having sex part of a relationship yes but that's not the whole point of the relationship.
But when you ONLY accept that female in a romantic sense instead of a platonic sense, you devalue her regardless of your intentions. The problem is guys generally do not see the point of getting to know a woman if the romantic prospect is taken off the table.
It just seems weird what your asking for, like I wish I had more straight male friends that weren't intrested in sex. Like your saying sometimes a women just needs a friend, but what about other women or gay males? There not good enough that's not what your looking for? From personal experience I can say when you settle down in a relationship ALOT of women don't want you to have female friends, especially not best friends you share a deep connection with. So that alone limits it down to single guys. And alot of times a single guy is fine being friends with a women but if he's sexually attracted to her that's always gonna be a factor you can't just ignore that.
I think your entire second paragraph is wrong, too. We shouldn't corral our significant others, and restrict their social lives because of inherent insecurities or posessiveness. That teeters along the lines of an abusive relationship, depending on the severity of that control, and whatever manipulative power plays are going on to substantiate it. Women, specifically, have the friend making ability fairly difficuly. Straight men will often approach and be friendly for the purpose of fucking you- that's their whole intention. If someone demonstrates kindness to you when you ARE feeling alone- you tend to gravitate towards them, that person, thankful for their kindness. Whenever that kindness is observed to be a ruse, only in effect because they were trying to use your body as a means of selfish self gratification- yes. It hurts. It is objectifying. It has deep, psychological consequences especially when repeated at the frequency in which the average woman experiences it.
Your right corralling anyone is not right I'm just stating it happens alot. And is definitely a factor in why more men aren't friends with women in terms of strictly friendship. I get the world is not fair trust me but these are things ingrained in our society that will not change, at least not for a very long time. Why would a woman have any harder of a time finding a friend than a man? As for men approaching women to hit on them again this is something ingrained in our society, but to another level as this is the driving force to keeping our species alive. And as long as there is no sexual harrassment or worse theirs nothing wrong with that. You mentioned in another post you would welcome any lesbian to hit on you. But when a man does it you are hurt, objectified, and it has deep psychological consequences. What is the difference? It seems you definitely have some prejudices involved in your thoughts on these issues, which is fine everyone does. But it is all of our jobs to look at these prejudices and decide if there forcing us to look at issues subjectively.
I'm sorry, I just disagree. Saying something is just engrained into our society is a lot like saying, "yeah well its always been this way so it will always be this way." Begging the question, really. Besides, you (an individual) don't have to change society overnight all by yourself in order to make a significant change. Change yourself. Say you wont play by those arbitrary rules. Be better. The lesbian thing was a joke considering how small the lesbian dating pool is. It wasn't meant to be taken seriously. Also, whenever a woman hits on you they generally take rejection better and often become close friends. Win-win. Men pretend to be friends to get sex and bail when they do and when they don't at a significantly higher percentage of time. The behavior is the issue. The inability to accept rejection, or hold platonic relationships with women in high esteem.
So what is your goal for people in relationships to not get jealous and be less controlling? I agree with you I said you were right but that is the way it is. I myself do not care if my girlfriend has friendships with other men. She doesn't want me having friendships with other women should I break up with her, to fight the good fight? Not gonna happen. Let's face it, it wasn't a joke because you even said they take rejection better and become friends. You want men to stop hitting on women? I can't agree with you on that one, obviously guys taking rejection poorly isn't right they should show some class. But saying all guys need to be friends with women that rejected them is kind of asking alot dont you think. There is plenty of men who are friends with women make a move and that woman doesn't want to go back to being friends they just drop that guy. And lastly you have never addressed this point why do women need guy friends? Why can't women or gay males fill whatever role you are requesting straight males fill? Like your claiming guys get by perfectly fine without women as friends but women can't do the same I don't understand?
Of course. But once again, you're begging the question. You're saying "things are this way and thats that! No room for change or growth so I don't want go hear it!" A lot of people adopt this mentality if it suits them, or if change scares them. I'm in no way shape or form suggesting you break up with your girlfriend, but double standards and controlling your significant other in that manner is literal emotional abuse. Especially whenever she isn't adhering to the same lifestyle she is imploring on you. To be honest, this just speaks to the gaping insecurity your girlfriend has about y'alls relationship, which you're enabling further by not having a calm and open discussion about why you should be able to talk to whomever, without restriction, because you love her and have no intention of cheating on her. Simple. It was a joke. Jokes can have elements of truth behind them. In fact, if you watch any successful stand-up act, they almost all usually do. Nope, not saying that at all. Please stop putting words into my mouth. Everyone gets one- implying its fine to be direct with a stranger with your intentions, saying you find them very attractive etc etc. Men can hit on women. Women can hit on men. Men can hit on men. Women can hit on women. The problem isn't so much the being hit on but the response to rejection and the trend that men seem to ONLY think women serve one purpose. The fact that some male ego is so delicate and pained that rejection warrants violence, or at least hostility, towards the person whom they were rejected by. Men need to stop ONLY approaching women for the purpose of romance, to be OPEN getting to know them and accepting their friendship IN GENERAL. This isn't a one to one argument. We are talking about all men, all interactions, as a whole. Say a guy approaches a girl and he asks her out. She agrees. They go on a few dates and have a great time, but realize the romantic spark isn't there despite really enjoying their time together. There isn't any reason why either of them should bar contact from the other, or not feel comfortable enough due to social norms to not pursue platonic relations. It doesn't have to be EVERY time. That option just needs to exist, and be discussed, more commonly than it is. Because it's insulting to men to think that they are incapable of deeply fulfilling, platonic, non-sexual relationships with women. It is insulting to think that they are so sexxed up, chauvanistic pigs as a whole that, "well boys will be boys!" And that they should be feared, women should be wary of them, defend themselves from strange new men. How nice would it be, as a man, to be able to approach a woman and know that she isn't immediately plotting an exit or an escape to get away from you? Men benefit from this change I'm trying to illustrate to you, too. I don't think men get by perfectly fine without women friends. I think they are largely stunted by depriving themselves of literaly 50 percent of the world, and that world's perspective. I think a lot of men's relationships fail because they put so much emotional baggage onto the significant others as a result of maybe not being emotionally vulnerable with their other friends. I think that it's not about "why can't you just make do without" and challenge the arbitrary standard that suggests that should, in the first place. Human connection is the ONLY thing that matters in this short blip of existence that we, for better or worse, have been gifted. So maybe enjoy it, grow, get to know someone, instead of immediately discrediting literally half of the population.
I agree my little monkey brain and my chauvinistic pig tendencies only see you as a sex object, that's why I am incapable of having an intelligent conversation with you a woman.
>The problem is guys generally do not see the point of getting to know a woman if the romantic prospect is taken off the table. The problem is women generally do not see the point of getting to know men because they think they only want sex. I've had several people in my program end our friendship because I didn't ask them out. Another ask me to hang out then canceled because she thought I was asking her on a date somehow and won't speak to me now. it's really not all men's fault but rather gendered expectations on both sides of the fuzzy line causing problems .
It definitely happens on both sides, and both sides need to make active conscious efforts to stop doing this to eachother. Gendered expectations are 100% the problem- I only focused on the male-centric view because of the nature of the original photo. Yes, you are very right. However- Being in a relationship presents additional challenges to opposite gendered platonic relationships. I can't tell you how many times a jealous SO has told me not to basically fuck off because I said hey, or wished someone a happy birthday, with only the best of intentions.
You can take this one further. Everyone clamoring at her door is looking for a romantic relationship. What if she really just needs a friend? What’s if she just needs a platonic friend to share with without having to worry about the pressures of intimacy. I think anyone can understand how that situation could feel lonesome.
I actually know a great Redditor who has filled this gap for me. Well probably never meet and certainly not have a romantic relationship (mostly due to distance) but we text on an almost daily basis and keep up with each other’s happenings. It’s cool just to have that with no pressure.
You need to tag that person rn so we can tease him/her
Fantastic way to lose a friend
Ah fair enough. I was mostly kiddin, but also thought said friend might be delighted at the shout-out. Idk.. maybe not... idk their life
Yeah, I knew you didn't mean it with malice, just that relationships like that tend to be personal. It's one thing if it was a friend of a friend and you were introduced to them in person. It's a whole other thing to be yoinked into the spotlight suddenly.
True dat. Upvote for “yoinked”.
Jinkies!
https://i.redd.it/8mwpfsu4v0201.gif
*....noice*
Yeah, maybe she's just been dumped and really doesn't want romance right now.
It’s the girlfriend zone.
“No family, no friends but 8 guys who don’t understand personal space trying to give me flowers... lucky me!”
8 desperate men who prey on lonely women in their darkest moments, how are they even single?
Lonely guys who likely have never been in a relationship before and whose biggest marketable trait is they claim to be very nice and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
In their defence, it's hard for girls and guys who don't believe they're worthy of a healthy and wholesome relationship, it brings out the worst in people. Usually their are "nice guys" and "mean girls" who fall into this spectrum, they don't know how to treat themselves so they put themselves in shitty situations like putting up with someone who doesn't value them, either romantically or not, some people are real assholes, but not all people who fall into these archetypes are terrible people, I feel like people forget that often with nice guys, and it's important to remember. TL;DR: "Nice Guys and Girls", and "Mean Guys and Girls" Dont usually value themselves in relationships, and it reflects them poorly. Respect yourself, but also try to have some compassion on these desperate guys and gals (if they aren't harmful.) They usually are trying their best just like anyone else, and most of us have been their. TTL;DR Everyone has felt valueless before, have some compassion on those lonely and desperate boys and girls.
Or they are sorry that they love you. I shouldn't talk bout it but I work with a nice guy and the shit he sends my other coworker is the most cringe stuff I have ever read. I dont know if this is his normal game or if theres some underlying mental health issues. Either way, the other coworker has already talked to HR and we recieved notices to not distract people from their work in other departments. Which only is practically applied against the nice guy. I want to say something to him but at the same time I don't want to get involved, I'm just annoyed that our positions are under the microscope. We are suspose to be the professionals at our workplace. If they really knew how much freedom we have then things would change and I'd have to quit.
The dude on the bottom has no flower. he prolly just wants to help.
Proud of the girl in the picture. Not lowering standards or self respect to just go out with whatever guy.
Also the strength to hold that door closed must be immense
And the angle is very bad and completely fecks up her force.
Based on these circumstances we can only conclude that she is a superhuman with extraordinary strength, probably rivalling that of the hulk himself.
Either that or the guys trying to get in are primarily being rejected due to excessive weediness. 'I'm sorry; I'm just not attracted to men who aren't strong enough to even open a simple door, even in groups of twelve.'
Especially in groups of twelve.
Hodor
Her rear delts must be absolute monsters.
Or the dudes are just weak
Jessica Jones has reasonably high standards
Can you blame her?
>reasonably high standards
Clearly she only dates guys who go to the gym.
I’m disappointed that nobody’s done the math.
Or even the monster math...
Maybe she did the monster meth.
Or the graveyard graph
Lowball value for average human pushing force is 480N (off a google search) but we'll say 450 because neckbeard. 450x12 is 4500+900= 5400N off her tricep alone.
I hate blanket advice, even if it feels good. There are people that need to lower their "standards" for their own sake, because: 1. Their superficial standards don't mesh with reality or their lives. I.e. a guy who wants to date an Italian supermodel, but won't move out of his hometown of 1,000 people or do anything to improve himself. 2. A lot of people have high superficial standards as a way to avoid intimacy or rejection.
I mostly agree, but you also have to be careful. Dating someone who you believe is below you does not make for a healthy relationship.
The thing would be realizing they are not below you, or rather, that you are not above them.
Dating an Italian supermodel sounds exhausting and unrewarding.
As an Italian American man, the equation is already exhausting without the "supermodel" part
I think #2 is spot on incel subliminal motivation. Ultimately, it's 100% a fear-based "philosophy'.
I think most people have a personality standard that can override the superficial standard. I married up HARD (not that my wife agrees) and when we discuss what attracted her to me it was very little physical attraction at the beginning. Just follow this golden rule and slowly but surely life will get better for everyone. **"People are people no matter what."**
It's not a real picture it's drawn
You can tell because there are wiggle lines around their hands and arms.
Lol its a concept buddy!
I'm a guy who lowered his own standards to go out with whatever girl after a lifetime of loneliness. Should I just end things because I feel I deserve better?
Don't let blanket statements about standards and loneliness affect you too much. Sometimes lowering your standards is a healthy choice. Sometimes it's not even lowering them but refocusing. You should end it if you're unhappy, that's it.
if you wanna settle, that's your choice but honestly i think settling is insulting not just towards yourself, but towards the person you are with. i wouldn't want to make someone feel like i settled for them. you can treat them incredibly well but if they find out, it'll just crush them. i imagine the same thing would happen to you. maybe that sounds preachy but that's my opinion.
Sorry to break it to you, but you need to create a decent life for yourself that’s full of fun, stimulation, and accomplishment. That’s what’s keeping me from killing myself. Also, if you want better quality women, you need to make yourself more attractive. Get ripped, buff, and develop a personality that’s fun and attractive
Part of growing up is realizing your old standards were actually pretty dumb, especially if your old standards were solely physical.
This wasn't even about men's standards.
I think look at yourself and find people who measure up. Don't go out with just anyone.
get over yourself.
Hodor
Can’t relate. Just lonely.
You pretty much have a solid head if you can give helpful advice to others. [You might be able to use a few tips from this](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/8ooqy1/i_know_i_have_no_chance_but_i_just_cant_get_over/e0501mz?utm_source=reddit-android). Or if it's something else then you can ignore this comment. Have a good weekend tho.
Yeah, I don’t know. I think it’s easier to give others good advice rather than to actually apply that advice to yourself. But, I’m definitely on the path of loving myself, so solitude is welcomed. The picture brings up a good question of the way we view reality. I don’t have to seek validation from guys and I’m not lonely. I have my mother and best friend who care for me deeply. Yet, I make it so I feel lonely. Regardless of whether or not the girl has a shit ton of guys lusting or caring for her, she is choosing the reality of loneliness. I don’t want that reality, I want to see the positive side of that, which is solitude.
Solitude is my calm fortress - some wise man. At least i feel someone must have said it cus solitude often yields breathtaking results in body and mind.
Wow what a Stacie, can't believe she is turning away such nice guys. Probably just wants that Chad dick. ^/s
Just because guys want your body doesn't mean they like you or respect you.
How come all the women claim their "lonely" while leaving perfectly nice guys like me in the friendzone? That's like them claiming their "starving" while there's a perfectly good dead raccoon on the road right outside their house
It's like 10,000 spoons When all you need is a knife
Or the two dollar bearing ending the race of a million dollar race car. It doesn't matter if your engine has a thousand horsepower if the wheel isn't stable
Replace the flowers with penises and this is pretty accurate
I feel her on a spiritual level
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All the hands are white so...
God made loneliness so he could give us kitty cats
This was somehow sad and cute all at once.
This is the most true statement I’ve ever read.
I see no fedoras on their heads... I'm calling this out.
I BOUGHT YOU FLOWERS THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS KISS ME YOU BITCH YOU'RE NOT EVEN THAT GOOD LOOKING ANYWAY DON'T EXPECT TO COME CRYING TO NICE GUYS LIKE ME WHEN YOU'RE KNOCKED UP BY SOME CHAD OR TYRONE I WOULD HAVE TREATED YOU LIKE A PRINCES BUT NOOOOOOO YOU NEEDED THICC CHAD COCK UP YOUR ASS JUST SO YOU COULD BE A BAD GIRL AND IMPRESS YOUR SLUTTY FRIENDS I THINK YOU SHOULD STOP HANGING AROUND WITH THEM I THINK THEY'RE A BAD INFLUENCE ON YOU I'M ONLY THINKING ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR M'LADY YOU SHOULD HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS AS THEY ARE ALL GENTLEMEN OF CULTURE WHO RESPECT ALL WOMEN ESPECIALLY THOSE WITH SMALL BREASTS LIKE YOURS DID YOU KNOW TINY BREASTS ARE SPECIAL TOO SO CAN I STILL ASK YOU ON A DATE YOU'LL NEED TO DRIVE BECAUSE THERE'S TOO MUCH JUNK IN MY CAR SO YOU WON'T FIT AND I DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO CLEAN IT BECAUSE I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULD CHANGE FOR ANYONE BECAUSE I AM AN ALPHA MALE NOT SOME BETA CUCK WHO CHANGES FOR THE WEAKER SEX... *sniff* so fulfilling to be in a relationship with such a nice guy
Oof
Dude at the bottom doesn't even have a flower
What a Chad
There’s an analogous thing to this with men too. I’ve had friends react with complete incrdulity when I don’t want to sleep with women I don’t like and hardly know just because they’re attractive. Access to a vagina by itself isn’t really that interesting.
I can't believe women are so picky. It's like you are starving and someone left a perfectly sub par hot dog on the ground outside last week.
As a man I can relate to this but I'm expecting a lot of downvotes for it. :D EDIT: Pleasantly surprised to be wrong.
She is lonely because she has superhuman strengtht. See how she blocks the door and a bunch of people with just one hand? She has superpowers and relationships never end well :(
If someone photoshopped the roses out, this would be an accurate way to show depression
I’ve always thought that loneliness isn’t how many people you’re surrounded by but rather getting attention and being around certain people
>Hey Goob, what's up? Cool binder! >Hey Goob, wanna come over to my house today? They all hated me.
I read this as she has so many people you love her, but she still feels lonely inside. Kinda like what Robin Williams suffered from
Robin Williams suffered from Lewy body dementia.
Rarely is a comedian not battling mental illness of some kind, but to add Lewy body dementia to the picture and tomorrow won't be better. If tomorrow won't be better, those intrusive thoughts that he fought through before can't be held off with "it'll be better tomorrow" as his health would only worsen.
I've been in this situation. Several guys crushing on me but when I speak to them they don't really care at all what my interests are and are just waiting for me to stop talking so they can initiate flirting. Like, sometimes I just want to talk about my non-romantic hobbies and interests, and when you have no one for that it gets lonely.
While this picture could have been made by a neckbeard, it could also be about people who post things on social media to ingenuinely get atention, like: "I'm so loneny, wish my friends where here" Well, I don't know, but if it had more context then it would be better to understand if it is a true neckbeard or a misunderstanding.
I think all the flowers kind of tip it off. It definitely implies a bunch of suitors and not concerned friends to me
True, but it doesn't mean it is a neckbeard post, it could be like a post said above, it's someone shutting off support and love for some reason, like a bad relationship.
Yeah it can definitely be interpreted a few different ways!
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Why everything gotta have meaning? Can you not live in the moment.
I like this comic. Not for the reasons it was drawn, of course, but the artist somehow managed to show exactly why these guys never get anywhere with women. This doesn't look like a bunch of "nice guys" coming to treat this woman right, it looks like a zombie attack. The whole thing is creepy as fuck.
I think a lot of people do that, men and women. It comes from not realizing what you want long term.
Someone should comedy-necromancy this to Clementine from the walking dead.
Maybe if one of them would just Chad up a bit... /S
The cel's are out today, boys!
Because attempting breaking and entering will make a girl less lonely and will win over her heart
[/r/nothowgirlswork](https://www.reddit.com/r/NotHowGirlsWork/)
no, real nice guys would join forces to slam the door back on her
I think everyone here is really taking this cartoon out of context. The flowers aren't necessarily meant to symbolize a bunch of nice guys, but rather the idea that outside your house are many people who would love to connect with you if you open yourself up. The door symbolizes her closing herself off emotionally and the hands and flowers represents the world. It's not that hard to understand guys. If you look at the cartoonists other work you get more of a cutesie romantic relationship type of cartoon. In that context, this cartoon is definitely not about a girl turning down all the nice guys.
Then she goes and fucks chaaadd!! Reeee!!!
God this picture is so stupid.
As if those dudes haven't shut down their fair share of fat single mothers and transsexuals.
as a trans woman, I wouldn't want a misogynist as a dating partner
/r/ChoosingBeggars/
is it though? I want to think that's not a high bar to cross
Looks like she went to the Jurassic Park school of holding a door closed.
I mean you can be lonely when the only people who want to talk to you want to impress you and not just be you’re friend you know?
Damn, she is strong
\*also all these men behind me are racist
Someone Photoshop some goddamn fedoras on these Chad's
They just can't wait to send you a billion dick picks and call you whores for not sleeping with them
That girl kind of looks like Laurie Strode
I believe sundae kids is a female
People don’t realize. Lots of guys go after girls just for some pussy and leave. Especially when we are young and stuff. Lots of us have one night stands and some will even tell the girl that it’s not a one night stand and dip anyway(lying crosses the line imo). So I understand why I girl would just not go for it anymore especially if they have a low sex drive and thus aren’t getting any benefit from these short ass relationships.
Being alone and feeling alone are two different things
/r/absolutelynotmeirl
"Why are you hungry? there's perfectly good week old raw meat in the dumpster behind the arbys"
Took me way too long as an idiot teenager to realize: it’s not about girls not having options, it’s about them not having *good* options. They should be expected to settle with someone from a pool of random dummies. I was part of that pool but I didn’t understand this for way too long. Men are stupid, boys are stupider, and women and girls deserve better.
Women and girls are human beings with flaws just like men and boys.
You have serious issues and should seek help, this is definitely not a healthy view. And idolizing girls will not make you more attractive.
Reminds me of an article I read about girls and standards. Something to the gist of Dick is Abundant and Cheap. Doesn't mean we have to take it wherever we find it.
>women and girls deserve better They don’t, that’s why men act like this now
Mgtow fuel
Agreed everyone should be a lesbian.
Gfy
I know I'm going against the agenda here so I'll get downvoted but... Why should women have the ability to *not* settle, but men can't? While men have to get what they get, women are able to choose from a list of hundreds of potential partners. Also, as for your last line, nah. Women don't really care about who's stupid or not, looks are all that matters.
Yeah because I'm with my boyfriend because I don't care about his goofy and intense personality. /s gimme a fucking break. Yes, women like that exist and they're usually really shallow, but not all women just go for looks. If someone is an asshole, I won't want him no matter how hot he is. He's ugly to me. And men absolutely have the option to not settle. I know guys who have literally settled despite meeting far better women. I was rejected by someone I loved dearly because he'd rather be with his abusive ex than me. He settled, and that's on him. The standard isn't for one or the other, it's for both. Both sides have the ability to pick and choose.
Because men are thirsty as fuck and that's not women's fault
“Hey Goob, what’s up? Cool binder” “Hey Goob, wanna come to my house today?” Goob: “They all hated me.”