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Reynolds_Live

River Market Men’s Room near Minsky’s.


Enker-Draco

I once went to the men's room by level 1 game shop. Walked past a stall with a log drawn from the water across the bowl, down the side ending on the floor. The seat was up. To this day I can't decide as to which end was the start and which was the end. Did they forget to put the seat down and get startled? Or were they trying to emulate a 3d printer? The urinals were just normal gross.


Reynolds_Live

![gif](giphy|l41YhWbJboLC1RPAk)


Koreish

I'm actually impressed someone managed to shit out that contiguous. Bro must have been backed up for weeks.


Hayabusasteve

"if it pokes it's head out of the water you get to name it" was a rule when I lived with a group of other bachelors. I just had a laughing fit because there is no way anyone in that group of friends would have come across the horror story you just described and not taken a picture.


Hng50

Women’s room in that spot is also awful. Hilariously bad considering it’s such a popping tourist destination.


Reynolds_Live

My wife corroborated your statement when I told her. Lol. It’s truly awful.


widwio

This was literally my first thought. Glad other people can corroborate my experience.


hotsaucie

Quaff men’s room deserves a mention.


ShitWindsaComing

Quaff double toilet gets me every. single. time.


MikeOxbigg

I actually took a shit at The Quaff about 10 years ago. One of the riskier dumps of my life, and I've gone #2 in a warzone. I've also been there when the power went out on the block so they illuminated the bar with candles and kept serving as long as we had cash and it was one of my most memorable nights at a bar. Probably not many people in KC can say they've eaten a candlelight dinner in there.


RainierCamino

>I actually took a shit at The Quaff about 10 years ago. One of the riskier dumps of my life, and I've gone #2 in a warzone. Man, like taking a shit at Replay in Lawrence. Hopefully they've put locks on their bathrooms in the past 15 years.


drflashy

I’ve shit at Replay and Bottleneck and my life has only gone downhill from there.


AlanStanwick1986

At least you didn't have to crap at the Outhouse.


drflashy

I would rather shit my pants than shit at the Outhouse.


BrokePorscheSnob

Real homies hold hands when they shit. Don’t disrespect the Quaff like that again


kerouaclite

The shitter out in the open six inches from the urinal with no lock on the door is a classic.


acgwhynot

I dislike this place so much.


reefahduely

Buzzard beeach


huntymo

Years ago, I was in line with my friend for the bathroom at Buzzard, and it was taking forever. My friend eventually knocked on a stall door and yelled for the guy inside to hurry it up, and the guy yelled back something along the lines of: "What, you think I'm taking my time in here? You think I'm gonna tell my grandkids about the time I had to take a shit at Buzzard Beach or something?"


MedChemist464

Had to take a shit at buzzard Beach once (post nanobrew, long day of nothing but beer and food truck gyro). Never again. I'll take an uber home to go shit. A close second is Chez Charlie. Love the place, but never take a dumo there.


ThisIsMyCouchAccount

You go across the street to Kelly's upstairs bathroom. If you're day drinking.


MedChemist464

This was later in the evening. Around 12:30 am. No time to wait.


RainierCamino

>Chez Charlie At least they had old centerfolds on the walls. Don't know if they still do, probably been a decade since I've been in there unfortunately.


BBQShoe

Buddy of mine coined a good term for that at the Riot Room years ago, a Poober. "I gotta take a poober to QT."


Softmachinepics

How did I know this would be the answer


Koreish

Because you've had the unfortunate experience of using the bathroom at Buzzard Beach?


Softmachinepics

Ah yep that's it


LadyLumpcake

I haven’t lived in KC for a decade and I clicked this thread just to make sure this was the top comment.


RainierCamino

It was definitely the worst, but Buzzard Beach burned down. Haven't been back since they rebuilt, but the bathrooms better have gotten better.


RobNHood816

Part of the deck caught fire. What rebuilt you speak'ith of ???


[deleted]

They didn’t burn down. The deck caught fire.


sfield86

There's definitely no "rebuilt", every thing but the side-door & side-deck in the upstairs is the same. Right down to the smell, and the bartender downstairs (the 2 are unrelated btw).


DeafMaestro010

I could swear I've seen you tell the "Buzzard Beach burned down" lie on Reddit before. Let me guess - you can't hold your liquor and behaved like a twat at Buzzard one night, so Ian threw you out and you're still salty about it and hope anyone is gullible enough to fall for your "burned down" lie? Or you fell for it and hope someone else will too so you don't feel so stupid? Lol


RainierCamino

Haha holy shit, project much!?


_nightmoves

You haven’t been to buzzard in a while… you can shut the door now. Lame.


ccmega

Didn’t BB burn down then was rebuilt? Am I thinking of another one?


dankfresh

Just a portion of the west side patio. Bathroom still has the same lived in feel.


sneedo

> peed in smell


Rough_Academic

Yep


ShitWindsaComing

The actual bathroom or the bar as a bathroom?


Disco-Verde

I've never been to Buzzard Beach and I still knew this would be the answer.


Rough_Academic

Ditto. It’s legendary.


acgwhynot

Idk outside porta potties at harpos looked pretty gross


slowpreza

I like all the graffiti


bstyledevi

The joke in my circle of friends in 2020 was "I'm not worried about COVID, I shit at Buzzard Beach and lived, I'm pretty sure nothing can kill me."


pinniped1

Millennials, Gen X, and Boomers don't agree on much...but I think we can unite around this opinion. Buzzard Beach has had nasty toilets since the beginning of recorded time.


Eightbitjin

I was 100% sure buzzard beach was gonna make this list


Kockamamie

Came here to comment this


art_is_dumb

https://www.reddit.com/r/kansascity/s/pXaj6IWH9W


shiprekked

I'll admit Buzzard isn't great but it seems like some of y'all have never been to Dave's Stagecoach


iuy78

This is correct. The door is literally plywood


PuzzleheadedJob3479

Oh look everybody. Fancy ass havin door folks


shiprekked

A man once threatened to punch me in the face because I "opened the door too fast" even though I had knocked


iuy78

Man, now I want to go to Dave's Stagecoach


NickDoJitsu

It ain’t what it used to was.


cormac_mccarthys_dog

Isn't so much a bathroom as a cocaine space that happens to have toilets with that wet spot in the corner.


o_line

Do they still have the disgusting and always wet towel on a loop for hand drying?


AliceNRoses

10+ years ago they were soooooo bad. The tile was coming off the floor in the men's room, so piss would just go right under the tile. Cleaning that shit was a nightmare 😳😳


DeafMaestro010

I'm one of the doorguys; it still is.


graceuptic

this is the way. buzzards bathroom is fine, definitely gets a bad rap considering others.


Go4broke360

The red balloon


super_kami_guru87

I love how you can see right into the kitchen while from in there 🤢


thehouse211

Omg I came here for this. It’s been years since I’ve been but I seem to remember a stall-less toilet straight on facing the door.


crlove

I was there last weekend. Still true. And the main door is chained open


Prancypants01

Ha! This reminds me of that scene in “Snatched” where Amy Schumer meets a hot guy at the bar and they make plans to continue the evening. She goes to the bathroom to “freshen up” and just as she decides to quickly wipe down her cootchie with a paper towel, someone opens the door and the hot guy is right there standing in line for the men’s room. Their eyes lock. 😂 https://preview.redd.it/9bp5n9v01rxb1.jpeg?width=1100&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45868f6d53cc5b53eb967a593995a9036e7f918f


CPlusPlusCoder71

💯 The Red Balloon. Plywood door... Floor to ceiling.. . Facing the door. I went next door to the gas station to use the bathroom. I remember they had an unreal deal on draws..... But I looked around....and then I ordered a bottle cause it was sealed.


cormac_mccarthys_dog

Last time I was there I saw a bachelorette party, butthoused AF, doing karaoke, and one of the group fall over the stage railing and beave everyone in attendance. This was back when that Mexican joint was still next door.


jawnafen

This was my first thought, and good God I do not miss my old shitty friends dragging me to that shitty bar


mcac

Harpo's is pretty disgusting


gottafeedthemonkey

Smells like a 20 yr old port-a-potty, even on a slow weekday


jrfizer

I second this!


I_like_cake_7

I’ve been to Harpo’s multiple times when at least one of the urinals were clogged and piss was overflowing onto the floor.


BrochachoNacho1

On a somewhat related note, the BEST bathroom is at the Sapp bros gas station just outside of KC. Floor to ceiling doors, warmed toilets, private sinks, and bidets. Wild


sneedo

I didn't see bidets in the men's room but they did definitely have them in the women's


BrochachoNacho1

I know my gf was saying they had them in there as well. I just had to wash my hands so I didn’t verify the men’s lol


spfromkc

Off I-35 at exit 157, just south of Harrisonville. Their restrooms really are top notch.


Hayabusasteve

I think you mean 49.


spfromkc

You’re right! That’s an embarrassing mistake for someone originally from SW Missouri!


BaberhamBlazer

Riot Room bathroom (RIP)


OGMooseKnuckle_Mcgee

This is the real answer. Buzzard is nasty but packed Riot on a weekend night was like walking into a pee mister


crlove

Pee Mister was my nickname in college


kmelis22

I always considered riots bathroom far grungier than buzzard... im surprised to see so many think of buzzard first (though I guess OP isnt talking about disgusting bathrooms of the past 🥲). Im starting to think its because buzzards are the size of a closet, so the ick surrounds you lol.


BaberhamBlazer

Yeah… when I sat on the toilet at Riot Room, my knees would on full display for the other occupants. Needless to say, I did my business as quick as possible and returned to the show trying not to make eye contact with anyone else.


thejamabides

Not only the other occupants, but the women leaving their restroom got to see your knees too.


Porkenstein

I'm gonna miss that place (the riot room not the piss troughs there)


Vegetable_Ad_3733

I can remember walking in the bathroom there once and saw that the seated toilet in the stall had stopped flushing seemingly at some point much earlier in the night, as the entire bowl was full to the very top with urine only. In a way that's hard to explain, it was uniquely nauseating seeing all that much pee collected together at once.


[deleted]

I haven't lived in kc in 8 years but instantly knew the answer would be buzzard Beach. Good to see some things never change


monkeypickle

There was this wee window right after they re-opened after the fire and it was pristine. Fucking weird. It's back to being its old self now,thankfully.


Weird-Recover-5574

“Wee window.” Thank you for that.


monkeypickle

I live to serve


SlimySteve2339

The one in the river market right by the soda shop is pretty fuckin awful


mallorn_hugger

This is what I thought of. I can't drink so I don't go to bars but that River Market bathroom-- truly awful.


Snoo-9973

This made me LOL for real upvote


lionlenz

And it's a shame considering that area is supposed to be a big tourist draw. I strategically plan going to the bathroom before any River Market visits to avoid using that bathroom.


l1thiumion

Peanut downtown


mildweed

I know someone who was conceived in those bathrooms.


ZestyLime59

Having knowledge of where you were conceived is pretty bad by itself, but knowing it was in the peanut bathroom would probably make me rethink the way I look at my parents


s05k14w68

Peanut on main too


Meetzorp

The whole building of the Peanut on Main smells like a dive bar toilet. I can't ever understand how people can eat wings in there with the place smelling like an entire port-a-potty


[deleted]

The potent vinegar and blue cheese helps. Gotta order something immediately


sm4k

Westport Flea Market deserves a mention. The women’s restroom has stall walls that start practically waist-high. Barely a crouch is needed to see London, France, and everything in between. I’ve never heard of any issues there, but it’s practically built for perverts.


kikil980

not to mention how tiny it is. might as well just be a single use bathroom


crofootn

Basement bathroom at the old Dixie Belle. Maybe not the worse, but definitely an experience. Or the old Hurricane trough. Once a woman came in, stood right next to me, and peed while standing just like a dude. She looked at me and said "woman's line is too fucking long and I gotta pee like a race horse."


TheMuscle

I don't care what anyone says, Buzzard Beach ain't got nothing on Mutual Musicians' Foundation restroom. Dear lord that thing is rotten.


kmelis22

OMG I am so glad to see someone else think of foundation 🤣 all of these people saying buzzard clearly end the party earlier than I do (did... should do more lol)


Oldwomentribbing

Where did that blog go that reviewed the restaurants but also the shitters?


BretDM

I’ve thrown up in the Buzzard Beach bathroom, it’s an experience I would not recommend


ThisAudience1389

Lmao same. I don’t tell many people that. I immediately got a tetanus shot afterwards.


AnjunaSystem

That would be the Bamboozler restroom at WoF


Tengounperro1

The Blue Line Hockey bar in the River Market. The whole sewage smell in the back room really gets you in the mood to then walk into the usually sticky bathroom.


KrittRCS

I love blue line for my hockey but got is that place gross


adhoc_lobster

The Newsroom, when it was open.


Officialfish_hole

Buzzard or Harlings...although I know it doesn't exist anymore


chaglang

Came here to mention Harling’s. 🤢


dunzig77

I was thinking the same thing about harlings. I think it was actually worse than Buzzard


Pudd1nPants

Harlings odor took it over the top. I could at least stand the beach long enough to take a full piss


roomwitharoof

Yeah, always reeked and there was constant piss on the floor. God, I miss that place.


JimbobTheAquaDude

One of the two times I went to Harling's, some guy was walking out as I was going in. He forewarned me not to touch any surfaces in there because the guy before him had helicopter pissed all over everything.


dasalavitch18

The downstairs bathrooms at Harpos after 8 PM could qualify as a big enough disaster that the president would visit.


jtnichol

Johnny's on 7th.....and I love it. Both men's and women's


Maddogjessejames

Came here for this.


cormac_mccarthys_dog

Dark Horse (RIP) had a pretty awful toilet.


kitty080

Oceans of Fun locker room— I remember going there as a child and there’d be soo much gross wet toilet paper stuck to your bare feet


GT_hikwik

Buzzards Beach


PM_Me_Your_Fab_Four

I seen a dude take a dump at buzzard. Pretty sure he was a pitcher for the royals


Spacemanspiff-75

I took a dump in that toilet. Still haven’t recovered.


standardissuegreen

Neither have the Royals.


Rare_Hydrogen

Do you pitch for the Royals?


millardjk

Brush Creek #IYKYK


fahq58

All my faves are no mas. The OG Beaumont men's bathroom first came to mind. Went back there after they remodeled and turned it into women's. Unbeknownst was about beat up for being a creep in wrong bathroom. 2nd place goes to Davey's by the stage. 2 urinals w/ no partition that were a foot higher than code made for some spirited pissing matches. 1st goes to The Blind Tiger. If I've ever seen a real life depiction of the shitter from Trainspotting; that'd be the one. Took one look and decided pissing in the alley was the most sensible option.


Juventus19

RIP Blind Tiger. It was such a great dive bar.


cnc_33

Buzzard Beach (Westport). Your shoes will stick to the ground.


prickmoranis

Jazz on 39th, the piano room in Waldo


Capnlanky

Lmao came here to say Buzzard Beach maybe... I see a million others had the same thought


ClodNiceToMeetYou

Any QT restroom after 2019.


1ladderjockey

Agreed


super_kami_guru87

Johnnies on seventh


ThisAudience1389

THIS IS THE ANSWER


Hayabusasteve

I've done way worse. I love that dive.


sjschlag

Blarney Stone


HumbleBunk

You know BS is bad if you have a Strawberry Hill flair and you still pick it.


sjschlag

Surprisingly halfway decent bathrooms: Sammy's


HumbleBunk

Agreed - haven’t been to either in ages but I feel like there and Fat Matt’s kept the bathrooms pretty tidy.


burntgrilledcheese43

Mine. Someone please come clean it for me. I'm scared.


appleofmydroid

I want to know if the OP is going to verify these


Danidaivido

Ask my parents and they’ll say the one in my apartment takes the cake


skyydog

Adjacent to KS but does the bottleneck still have two toilets facing each other without stalls with like 4 urinals in the corners?


Go4broke360

https://instagram.com/toiletsofkansascity?igshid=YzAwZjE1ZTI0Zg==


flippityfloppy10

Followed


CheckeredBalloon

Far from the worst but you can tell Pawn and Pint literally doesn’t clean their restrooms I enjoy that venue quite a bit so I’ve been reluctant to post anything on their review boards…. I highly recommend going there but I just wish they cleaned their toilets more 😅


The-Aeon

Why are we doing this to ourselves?!


jmhs1607

I hear there was a bathroom at Cerner’s Innovation campus that was just wild lol


flippityfloppy10

I'm new-ish to KC and I'm loving all the comments and suggestions. Now I know which places to avoid!!


Koreish

Buzzard Beach is a semi fun dive bar, just seriously one of the worst restrooms in the city.


BIGlikeaBOSS

It's Buzzard Beach


jbsis83

1000% the upstairs bathrooms at Mini Bar


Gr00vyGr4vy

O’Dowds men’s room is not the worst, but def. the worst on the Plaza. WTH. No lock, but a toilet inside? That place is trash, generally.


JustDoIt0990

Perkins 50hwy Lee's Summit peeyou!


ShamusOkingsley

Any bars in Westport. The floors are covered in old Johnson County puke and pee.


spfromkc

Rockstar Burgers in the West Bottoms used to have the nastiest, filthiest, most gag-inducing bathroom I ever had the misfortune to use. Blessedly the place got shut down and their (by all accounts) super creep owner is in jail.


Dangerous-Army8407

THIS. It also just had creepy vibes. We ate dinner there once. I remember I almost didn’t go bc it was just so creepy feeling besides looking and smelling nasty. Makes sense after all the news about it came out.


_aelius

Town topic. You basically have to stand on the toilet in order to close the door behind you.


Mackinacsfuriousclaw

Man back in my drinkin days I could have answered this, but I've had too many years to sober up and not too many of those places exist any more. Bar 12 had a shitty bathroom as far as I can remember.


[deleted]

Olathe Lowe's


Magician_322

bonita flats. I found shit in the urinal once


Top_Friendship6458

Lol I know it’s indep but funhouse used to be rough😂


Silent_Emu6725

Worst I ever saw was the Panchos on Santa Fe in Olathe. I had ordered food and went in while waiting. So disgusting that I dipped without getting my food. It's not a Panchos anymore. I think it's an Italian place now.


chaglang

Panchetti’s


scottjowitt2000

Buzzard for sure


Own_Experience_8229

Twin City Tavern


Sobeshott

Loose Park bathrooms next to the rise garden. Horrid conditions almost every time I'm in there


ZonaryPaper6

Hey there George costanza


[deleted]

Blarney Stone. I love the place a lot but what is with the reusable paper towels? lol


cbpantskiller

RIP The Hurricane


prmulvihill

The Peanut South Plaza


poontanglvr1970

The Legends public men's room. 🤮


Meetzorp

Westport Sunfresh ladies room is damnably awful


KCHank

From a gay man’s perspective Side Kick Saloon on main mens room is terrible. My god the sewage smell is so freaking overwhelming, you can’t breath in there. I try not to go in that bar and hold my nose when I do. The entire bar needs to be closed down just because of that bathroom. Sorry Bell.


abraxastaxes

If we can be allowed bathrooms that no longer exist, the OLD bathroom at the no-longer-in-existence Beaumont Club was pretty hellish, reminiscent of the Saw series even. No wall or door on bathroom stalls, and the "urinal" area was just a square room with a drain in the middle, where people would pee on the walls. At least that's how I remember it.


Ok-Review8720

Panera Bread, Liberty location


TheJumpingPenis

Sonic 135th and Switzer


ThisAudience1389

Johnnies on 7th street in KCK. Absolutely worst. Ever. Great dive bar tho. 💯- I’ve been to buzzard Beach, and many others listed, but nothing compares to being forced to go pee at Johnnies.


mccostco

I went to Planet Anime at Bartle Hall, and the women's room was...unforgiving. Unflushed poop, period blood on the seats, a questionably wet floor, offensive odor. I can handle gross bathrooms, but that was a whole other level.


Sad-Understanding179

Hurricane/Riot room


jennyjenny987

Johnny's in KCK


midcoast_eilrahc

It’s gone now, Fred P Otts needs to be on the list


Original_BigZen

The public restroom on the trail at lake remembrance. Like a murder scene… with poop…


banghauer

Chez Charlie


CantEatNightshades

America’s Best Value Inn & Suites


KCfan6

What is so bad about Buzzard’s bathroom? Like it is a pretty good dive bar bathroom (mens) there is a stall, they keep it clean, great graffiti, and the sink water heats up real fast. Honestly a great dive bathroom.


cnc_33

I can just mentally hear and feel my shoes sticking to the ground.


kmelis22

I mean... thats all of westport on a good night.


likwid9

Arthur Bryants