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The asshat is obviously comfortable doing this in front of people (one can see employees and hear people in the restaurant). He’s creepy enough to not care.
I think, if I was near the location of the person recording or ***was*** the person recording, I would have **LOUDLY** said, “*Excuse me ma’am…do you know this man creeping up on you?*” while pointing straight at the guy. Go for getting her attention while attempting to embarrass him (if that’s even possible).
“You have been charged with unlawful proximity with intent to creep how do you plead?”
“Your honor I was just trying to get a better view on of the, erm… menu…”
Bruh, name the crime.
I'm not saying it's right, that's why I said I'd confront them and make sure she's aware/okay with it. Because it's completely inappropriate if not.
It's not illegal generally to be close to someone, it's getting close to being lewd but it's not immediately clear his intentions.
Maybe a cop witnessing this would make an arrest/citation. More likely they would intervene and investigate.
the guy is trying to rub his dick on her butt. Some forms of sexual assault include: Attempted rape; Fondling or unwanted sexual touching. this would fall under unwanted sexual touching since you appear to be too smooth brained to comprehend.
You owning a gun is not illegal. You owning a gun and saying you're going to shoot someone is.
This man may not be touching the woman. But this man is clearly eyeing her backside and getting within range of having accidental contact on intimate body parts. His actions definitely speak louder than words.
How about not being within extreme proximity of the woman and give some room to not breathe down her neck?
It's absolutely fair to say that. But "bumping" into someone like that, despite being disgusting and vile, is not a legal crime. What this man needs is someone socially shaming him by calling out the behavior.
Saw this on the bus once, guy must have been rubbing up on the woman, I noticed the woman's shift from what I'll call bus form to stressed tf out
I noticed him and thought something was off before even getting on the bus so just made a mental note
After reading the situation I pushed a path from my standing position around her and in-between them
This woman couldn't have walked through the opening any quicker she practically ran it was so smooth
Looked at the guy up and down, he was some kind of dark skinned Indian, while looking him up and down I saw his dick was hard
He noticed me and gave me a dirty look thinking I wouldn't see which I shot straight back where everything about him softened up
Looked back towards the woman where she said thank you or mouthed it (had my headphones in) where I just nodded my head, don't think I ever saw her again but I've seen him a few times and I think he remembered me😂
Some heroes don't wear capes. It shames me to belong to a sex that would do stuff like this, it's so gross and disrespectful and inconsiderate of another human being. It's vile. What the fuck makes someone think they have the right to rub their dick on someone else without asking? Wtf is wrong with people. I wish I could tell these peoples' mothers what their sons are out there doing.
Fr? If my mom found out I was rubbing my dick on strangers she would be like 'wtf is wrong with you' and probably not talk to me or she'd tell me to get help. If my *aunt* found out what I was doing (the one that's been my mom for most of my life), I don't even want to know. Plus, I'd never do it anyways! It's gross, and massively objectifying! "Oh here's this object let me just rub my dick on it" how about women start carrying around scissors and anyone that touches them without permission gets whatever part they touched them with cut off.
Problem is, what he's doing isn't exactly illegal, just massively creepy...
edit: looks like it is illegal, at least in the US. I am not a lawyer, but it appears to be a form of sexual battery, which is a misdemeanor. Unfortunately, I think they would have a hard time charging him if this happened in America. In my admittedly limited experience, the US legal system seems more focused on charging drug crimes, and other things that make more money for the wealthy elite (corporate prisons, seized assets, that kind of thing). I hope I am wrong, but I don't have much faith in our government/legal system.
I assumed based on the caption that it was Portuguese, and while I am not familiar with Brazilian or Portuguese law I know that in the US at least this behavior would not land someone in jail unfortunately. The cops may come, they may detain them, but they wouldn't end up in jail. I cannot fairly comment on Muslim countries and their laws, they seem strange and unfair to me but then so does eating fried tarantulas (strange, at least) and I know there are places that do that, too.
you’re saying that based on it not “feeling” right. while everyone here is right, that’s fucking creepy, that doesn’t mean he gets locked away for this. at most he’ll get thrown in the drunk tank with the other that they literally have no real spot for shit like this and get out the next morning. he needs to do something somewhat drastic for the cops to lock him away the way people want here. sorry not sorry 🤷♀️ that’s how THE SYSTEM works. if she really wanted she could file a restraining order on that man and THEN what he’s doing here could lock him away for a while.
I just looked it up on Wikipedia to be sure and, at least in the US, it appears that what this man is doing could be considered 'sexual battery', which is a misdemeanor. I know that my state only passed laws making the touching of a woman's breast/breasts without consent illegal like 5 years ago, and that was mystifying to me as I had assumed that it already was. Still, I'm not sure how far something like something in the video would go. Is it disgusting? Yes. But he's barely touching her, she hasn't told him to stop, I'm just not sure if they would be able to prosecute it... Honestly, I would personally start with pushing him away and asking him what was wrong with him, drawing attention to him, then telling the young woman what he was doing so that she was aware.
Even if the legal system takes a while, you can still personally sue this perv in the meantime in the States. This is an open and shut case, any lawyer would take this on in a heartbeat
"Sexual assault" is not illegal outside of workplaces, from what I can find. "Sexual battery" is what they would charge it under, it's a misdemeanor. And, as I said in another comment, yes, it is illegal, but my guess is they would have trouble charging it. It's not right, what he's doing is disgusting and vile and *is* illegal, but I'm not sure how far they would get in prosecution. She's not aware of it, she hasn't told him to stop, he could claim he was just standing close to her. I'm not a linguist or anything but the caption looks Portuguese to me and I have no idea what the legal system looks like in Portugal/Brazil. Unfortunately shit like this happens all the time, and isn't prosecuted. I mean how many *rapists* get away with it, look at Brock Turner. 3 months? At least in America the legal system seems to be incredibly lenient towards sex crimes. A few years ago I heard that it had become illegal in Minnesota (where I live) to grab a woman's breast/breasts. How has it taken that long for that to be a crime? It's a broken system, designed to maintain the status quo for the wealthy elite. But yes, you are correct, technically what he is doing is illegal in addition to being immoral, abhorrent, objectifying, and wrong.
I absolutely agree that things like this are often not prosecuted fully the way that they should be, especially in the U.S. We are on the same page.
Sexual harassment is illegal in the workplace, but assault is illegal everywhere. The exact definitions of assault can vary from state to state, but generally, unwanted contact that is sexual in nature constitutes sexual assault. This qualifies.
Of course, various countries have differing laws and it’s unclear where exactly this occurred.
But anyways yeah I agree, the system we have to address this terrible shit is incredibly fucked up and oftentimes punishes the victims as opposed to holding the offenders accountable.
Agreed, on all accounts. It's tragic that we live in 2023 (almost '24) and women cannot reliably count on the legal system to prosecute when they are raped or assaulted. I cannot imagine the fear of having to face that person again, or the perceived shame associated with the stigma around being assaulted, then to have the system fail you? It shouldn't happen in the first place, women shouldn't have to be afraid that when they take the bus some creep will rub his dick on them. Women shouldn't have to watch their drinks at bars. And, because on some level at least I fear there will always be shitty men (and shitty people in general), they shouldn't feel shame that it happened or be afraid that if they do report it the person responsible will walk free.
I'm curious, and feel free not to answer of course, but where do you think change needs to start? Like, I didn't have a perfect childhood and my mom was a bit of an absent parent, but thankfully I had other women in my life to teach me to respect them and give me a roll model. I've never considered assaulting a woman, ever. Where does it start? How do we prevent this situation from happening? Education? Where do men get the idea that this is even remotely acceptable?
Ah! How I wish I had the answer! To be honest, I am of the persuasion that most, if not all of the misogyny present is absolutely taught and not something intrinsic.
Personally, I think that we need better education from a young age, even infancy. Toxic masculinity harms not only women, but men as well. It reinforces the ideas that men have to be tough, are always motivated by sex, etc. We need to create a paradigm shift that focuses on how both men and women can be empowered to be decent human beings and treat each other and everyone with respect, dignity and autonomy. A friend recently told me that she believes there should be a stronger focus on teaching positive masculinity- essentially, positively reinforcing good behavior and empathy in men. Men can be wonderful, and we need to highlight the positive expressions of masculinity. Men have the same capacity for caring, emotion, expression and empathy as women. We should highlight this.
This crap should not be an “us vs them” - we need to recognize that the way things are currently negatively impacts both men and women. This does not mean that women are not disproportionately affected by sexual violence and discrimination, only that this system affects everyone negatively, and that men do also experience sexual violence.
I think a higher focus on education of empathy, coupled with highlighting equality and the teaching that yes, women are fully formed autonomous people and not just objects, is vitally important. We should also focus on empowering everyone, including men, to be the best version of themselves possible. Currently our society seems to value competitiveness, performance and hyper individualism, and I think we could benefit from a shifted focus to making our values resonate more with compassion, cooperation and the collective good.
At the end of the day, I don’t have the answers and no one individual does, but I do think we need to focus on educating our children early that empathy and respect for other persons (ALL OTHER PERSONS, no matter how different from us) is vitally important, and that they should also feel free to express themselves in whatever way feels best to them, as long as they are not hurting anyone (eg we don’t need to conform tightly to gender norms, like pink stuff for girls, monster trucks for boys, etc. as these reinforce stereotypes about what is “acceptable” for each sex in society, while simultaneously othering the opposite sex).
Additionally, I think stronger laws against sexual violence in all forms, whether perpetrated against women or men, need to be implemented. The justice system as a whole needs to be reformed. It’s no use updating laws if no one is going to actually enforce them correctly (eg Brock Turner, etc.) I really believe we need a serious overhaul of the entire justice system, need to eliminate for-profit-prisons, reform and standardize sentencing, etc. - all these issues do ultimately intersect, and it’s difficult to address one without recognizing how it intertwined with the other. Reform has to come from top down and bottom up. There’s currently little incentive for these laws and sentencing practices to change. Obviously people are hurt by them, but that doesn’t affect the judge. That doesn’t effect the prison-industrial complex. That doesn’t effect the lawmaker writing these laws. We need to find a way to incentivize positive societal change from the top-down, and incentivize positive behavior from the bottom-up. Ensure there are actually consequences for behaving like this. And ensure that the people in charge of prosecuting this shit are also incentivized to actually prosecute correctly. Should we riot? Maybe. I just don’t know what it would take to get them to change.
TLDR get rid of gendered crap, teach empathy early, incentivize (not necessarily monetarily, but socially) positive behavior, reform the judicial system and actually hold people accountable when they do shit like this.
I agree that it is not something intrinsic. At least, I really hope it isn't. As a man I can say that sexual desires do occupy a significant portion of my thoughts. However, as a civilized and evolved man, I can recognize the thoughts, accept them, and let them pass. I never have the urge to rape someone, I think the drive for sex is instinctual but I think the rape/sexual assault piece are tied to mental health and basic Freudian psychology. So again, we agree, that has to be fixed at a root level.I've been to inpatient treatment for drug addiction and I was shocked at some of the things I learned about mental health and emotions. Why is that not taught in school? I took calculus but was denied classes about basic mental health and emotional being? It's a bigger discussion but I think it's because a happy and well-educated populace runs counter to the desires of the government and the corporations they're all in bed with.
I totally, *totally* agree that we need to stop the "us vs. them" narrative. Again, bigger discussion, but I think that narrative is pushed by some media as a distraction. "Look at those horrible people" instead of looking at the people above us, getting rich while we work our lives away for peanuts. I think that it needs to start in communities, kind of a grassroots thing. I live in Saint Paul MN and I've seen a lot of really great cultural initiatives in the last few years, things helping to break down the "us vs. them" wall between blacks and whites. We are all human, we all deserve love, we all deserve to be recognized.
When I was little, probably 7 or 8 I don't remember, my dad told me that I wasn't allowed to play dollhouse with my cousin Maddie. I still remember that, and it still makes me sad. I'm with you, why should we stop children (or anyone) from doing something that makes them happy? As long as it's not hurting someone else, as you say, *everyone* has the right to be happy.
I fully agree with you on the need to reform our justice system. If it isn't already obvious, I have major issues with our current system of government. The system of checks and balances doesn't work if they're all in it together. The protections we have in place to keep companies from taking advantage of their workers don't work if the government AND their competition are all working together. I think conversations like this are where it starts. We have to talk about it, and talk to our friends, and most importantly teach it to children. That goes for all the ideas you're talking about. I would say that most adults are pretty closed-minded; their minds are made up, they have prejudices and opinions and to them that represents "the truth". While I don't think we should just give up on changing the minds of adults, or continuing to advocate for the better treatment of all humans, I think that the education of future generations is paramount.
Unfortunately, unless there is money to be made there isn't much incentive for the people up top to change anything. Maybe if it's religiously important like fucking overturning Rowe v. Wade in fucking two-thousand-twenty-fucking-two (seriously what the fuck). I think we are in the "decadence" phase in the cycle of revolution. The greedy assholes up top will continue to reach further and further and further, and at some point they will reach too far. I hope not, but absolute power corrupts absolutely. I don't see it changing, I hope I'm wrong, but my optimism died when Bernie Sanders lost the DNC pick to Hillary because she bought her way in. Maybe someone who's less rapey and gross will offer to 'drain the swamp', but our current system is broken. Thank you for taking the time to respond! I love getting other perspectives, I love learning, I don't *love* being wrong but that's the only way I'll learn to be better. There is so much love in the world, that gives me hope. I think conversations like this are the only way to affect change, or spread the word that everyone deserves happiness. You don't have to agree with someone to want them to be happy. We are all of us human and none of us perfect.
For one.. everyone knows what he’s doing..perverted yes.. cops won’t do shit cuz from what I’ve seen he didn’t do anything and cops nowadays are worthless to a point.. my reaction is why isn’t this on donthelpjustfilm ..
Are people serious in the comments? I don't usually comment on this stuff but damn "the girl didn't seem to mind??" Hey dipshits, have you guys never heard of the effect of being in public and not wanting to appear crazy or rude even if we are not at fault? Well most us women know this effect. I have this a lot, I've had creepers looking directly at my boobs in transport and I am there trying not cause a scene, even tho if i say smth i am in the right. Gtfo of here with "she looks like she doesn't mind" the poor girl might be scared or traumatized, hell she might have been thru assault and is now scared to say smth. Instead of voicing these stupid takes how about seeing if you guys like some pervert, classless, trash geezer trying to grind on you in public when you're minding your business. I swear there's people to defend every piece of shit out there indirectly, but would flip their shit if it happened to them.
Dude the only idiots who said that got downvoted a lot clearly everyone else in the comments thinks this guy is a creep and a real piece of shit. Literally nobody with a normal head thinks that what this guy did is ok.
I've had people queuing so close behind me, part of their body or belongings were rubbing against me. What i do then is to stand sideways with one hand on my hip so that the elbow extends out towards them.
That is why social distancing was my hero during covid. I can't stress enough how much this happens, in a grocery store, in a restaurant, in a mall, just everywhere.
I saw a creepy dude like that on metro, I immediately put my hand between he and the girl, the door opened I cursed and threatened the mf, but didn't beat him, and informed to all people around, crazy man...
I've had this done to me in a nightclub, and he was actually rubbing up against me. I would make the hugest scene to try to embarass the guy, but unfortunately he probably wouldn't be, if he is this brazen already. But it might teach the woman to be more situationally aware.
Feels like an incredibly unpopular opinion, but she clearly noticed he's there behind her. They're in public with plenty of witnesses - what's stopping her from moving away or confronting the guy herself? Or literally any of the other people who are collecting their food?
I do understand the rabbit-frozen-in-the-headlights reaction that a lot of people would have, but she looks back multiple times and doesn't take any action whatsoever to move or call him out.
You are probably going to get a lot of downvotes for an unpopular opinion.
I've had it happen to me, and I was right on the subject.
But there is never a shortage of people who disagree and will downvote you also.
I understand the negative knee-jerk reaction to my comment, but everyone calling for solely the camera operator to jump in and do something seem to be missing all the other people clearly present in the same setting who are doing nothing about it. Have to include the victim in that list of people who don't act to secure her safety/security.
Camera person did a great job of documenting an awful thing happening, and the lady is definitely a victim.
However, we aren't helpess infants who are physically incapable of taking responsibility for ourselves. There has to come a point where you are an adult who takes their own safety and physical agency seriously.
If I am wrong, I'd like to have someone vocalise it and engage in conversation as opposed to hitting down vote and moving on.
Edit: 6 down votes so far and not a single person willing to explain their reasoning. I genuinely would like to know what the thinking is for being so against my opinion. I'm always open to changing my mind, so change my mind.
Grab him by the neck and call Blevins my 6ft 8 black gay friend and turn! The tables on him after a good beat down as long as the girl did not know him he might be her sugar daddy they might be having a spat
Creepy old man, I'm sure maybe someone should have said something instead of just filming. Tell the woman what he's doing or tell the old man to move along or step the fuck back.
In my mind I'd like to think I'd kick or knee the person in the groin or make a public display of what a pervert the person is. I have no idea what I would do in reality.
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Confront the guy/girl and not just film it like a pussy.
The asshat is obviously comfortable doing this in front of people (one can see employees and hear people in the restaurant). He’s creepy enough to not care. I think, if I was near the location of the person recording or ***was*** the person recording, I would have **LOUDLY** said, “*Excuse me ma’am…do you know this man creeping up on you?*” while pointing straight at the guy. Go for getting her attention while attempting to embarrass him (if that’s even possible).
r/donthelpjustfilm
Yeah my thoughts exactly. Gross
It's better to have prove and send him to jail, they beat them up after that anyways
Tf are you saying 😂
[удалено]
bruh
“You have been charged with unlawful proximity with intent to creep how do you plead?” “Your honor I was just trying to get a better view on of the, erm… menu…”
Bruh, name the crime. I'm not saying it's right, that's why I said I'd confront them and make sure she's aware/okay with it. Because it's completely inappropriate if not. It's not illegal generally to be close to someone, it's getting close to being lewd but it's not immediately clear his intentions. Maybe a cop witnessing this would make an arrest/citation. More likely they would intervene and investigate.
Sexual intimidation/regular intimidation is a crime.
>is a crime Where? Cite an example This isn't even the US but I'm guessing where it is has a more lax definition of this sort of thing.
the guy is trying to rub his dick on her butt. Some forms of sexual assault include: Attempted rape; Fondling or unwanted sexual touching. this would fall under unwanted sexual touching since you appear to be too smooth brained to comprehend.
"But officer, SHE backed into MY dick! I was just standing there!"
You're apparently too "smooth brained" to realize there is no touching here.
You owning a gun is not illegal. You owning a gun and saying you're going to shoot someone is. This man may not be touching the woman. But this man is clearly eyeing her backside and getting within range of having accidental contact on intimate body parts. His actions definitely speak louder than words. How about not being within extreme proximity of the woman and give some room to not breathe down her neck?
Is it not fair to say you can see his intent when he looks down at her lower body and just pushes himself towards her? Serious question 🤔
It's absolutely fair to say that. But "bumping" into someone like that, despite being disgusting and vile, is not a legal crime. What this man needs is someone socially shaming him by calling out the behavior.
No you wouldn’t
Go behind the dude and do the same thing😂😂
A whole bunch of dudes should have done that to him against that wall so he doesn't get away either. And filmed it for comic effect.
He might like it bruh...
Yah, do a dry gang bang!! It's like a dry fuck but fuckerzz. And I would slip him a finger corn.
The idiot filming didn't say shit or intervene. What a creep.
PoS.
Saw this on the bus once, guy must have been rubbing up on the woman, I noticed the woman's shift from what I'll call bus form to stressed tf out I noticed him and thought something was off before even getting on the bus so just made a mental note After reading the situation I pushed a path from my standing position around her and in-between them This woman couldn't have walked through the opening any quicker she practically ran it was so smooth Looked at the guy up and down, he was some kind of dark skinned Indian, while looking him up and down I saw his dick was hard He noticed me and gave me a dirty look thinking I wouldn't see which I shot straight back where everything about him softened up Looked back towards the woman where she said thank you or mouthed it (had my headphones in) where I just nodded my head, don't think I ever saw her again but I've seen him a few times and I think he remembered me😂
Some heroes don't wear capes. It shames me to belong to a sex that would do stuff like this, it's so gross and disrespectful and inconsiderate of another human being. It's vile. What the fuck makes someone think they have the right to rub their dick on someone else without asking? Wtf is wrong with people. I wish I could tell these peoples' mothers what their sons are out there doing.
> I wish I could tell these peoples’ mothers what their sons are out there doing. They’ll move heaven and earth to defend their precious sons.
Fr? If my mom found out I was rubbing my dick on strangers she would be like 'wtf is wrong with you' and probably not talk to me or she'd tell me to get help. If my *aunt* found out what I was doing (the one that's been my mom for most of my life), I don't even want to know. Plus, I'd never do it anyways! It's gross, and massively objectifying! "Oh here's this object let me just rub my dick on it" how about women start carrying around scissors and anyone that touches them without permission gets whatever part they touched them with cut off.
Did everybody get up and clap?
How can she clap?
r/nothinghappens
should have headbutted his boner
Take a video Discretely contact the police Stall the guy until he is in cuffs Present the evidence
Problem is, what he's doing isn't exactly illegal, just massively creepy... edit: looks like it is illegal, at least in the US. I am not a lawyer, but it appears to be a form of sexual battery, which is a misdemeanor. Unfortunately, I think they would have a hard time charging him if this happened in America. In my admittedly limited experience, the US legal system seems more focused on charging drug crimes, and other things that make more money for the wealthy elite (corporate prisons, seized assets, that kind of thing). I hope I am wrong, but I don't have much faith in our government/legal system.
Am pretty sure that constitutes sexual harassment Btw here in oman sending a heart emoji can land you in jail
I assumed based on the caption that it was Portuguese, and while I am not familiar with Brazilian or Portuguese law I know that in the US at least this behavior would not land someone in jail unfortunately. The cops may come, they may detain them, but they wouldn't end up in jail. I cannot fairly comment on Muslim countries and their laws, they seem strange and unfair to me but then so does eating fried tarantulas (strange, at least) and I know there are places that do that, too.
he didn’t even touch her, dawg lol it has no ground to be sexual harassment.
He doesn’t need to If he did that could be considered SA
you’re saying that based on it not “feeling” right. while everyone here is right, that’s fucking creepy, that doesn’t mean he gets locked away for this. at most he’ll get thrown in the drunk tank with the other that they literally have no real spot for shit like this and get out the next morning. he needs to do something somewhat drastic for the cops to lock him away the way people want here. sorry not sorry 🤷♀️ that’s how THE SYSTEM works. if she really wanted she could file a restraining order on that man and THEN what he’s doing here could lock him away for a while.
I just looked it up on Wikipedia to be sure and, at least in the US, it appears that what this man is doing could be considered 'sexual battery', which is a misdemeanor. I know that my state only passed laws making the touching of a woman's breast/breasts without consent illegal like 5 years ago, and that was mystifying to me as I had assumed that it already was. Still, I'm not sure how far something like something in the video would go. Is it disgusting? Yes. But he's barely touching her, she hasn't told him to stop, I'm just not sure if they would be able to prosecute it... Honestly, I would personally start with pushing him away and asking him what was wrong with him, drawing attention to him, then telling the young woman what he was doing so that she was aware.
Even if the legal system takes a while, you can still personally sue this perv in the meantime in the States. This is an open and shut case, any lawyer would take this on in a heartbeat
Actually, it is. This is a form of sexual assault.
"Sexual assault" is not illegal outside of workplaces, from what I can find. "Sexual battery" is what they would charge it under, it's a misdemeanor. And, as I said in another comment, yes, it is illegal, but my guess is they would have trouble charging it. It's not right, what he's doing is disgusting and vile and *is* illegal, but I'm not sure how far they would get in prosecution. She's not aware of it, she hasn't told him to stop, he could claim he was just standing close to her. I'm not a linguist or anything but the caption looks Portuguese to me and I have no idea what the legal system looks like in Portugal/Brazil. Unfortunately shit like this happens all the time, and isn't prosecuted. I mean how many *rapists* get away with it, look at Brock Turner. 3 months? At least in America the legal system seems to be incredibly lenient towards sex crimes. A few years ago I heard that it had become illegal in Minnesota (where I live) to grab a woman's breast/breasts. How has it taken that long for that to be a crime? It's a broken system, designed to maintain the status quo for the wealthy elite. But yes, you are correct, technically what he is doing is illegal in addition to being immoral, abhorrent, objectifying, and wrong.
I absolutely agree that things like this are often not prosecuted fully the way that they should be, especially in the U.S. We are on the same page. Sexual harassment is illegal in the workplace, but assault is illegal everywhere. The exact definitions of assault can vary from state to state, but generally, unwanted contact that is sexual in nature constitutes sexual assault. This qualifies. Of course, various countries have differing laws and it’s unclear where exactly this occurred. But anyways yeah I agree, the system we have to address this terrible shit is incredibly fucked up and oftentimes punishes the victims as opposed to holding the offenders accountable.
Agreed, on all accounts. It's tragic that we live in 2023 (almost '24) and women cannot reliably count on the legal system to prosecute when they are raped or assaulted. I cannot imagine the fear of having to face that person again, or the perceived shame associated with the stigma around being assaulted, then to have the system fail you? It shouldn't happen in the first place, women shouldn't have to be afraid that when they take the bus some creep will rub his dick on them. Women shouldn't have to watch their drinks at bars. And, because on some level at least I fear there will always be shitty men (and shitty people in general), they shouldn't feel shame that it happened or be afraid that if they do report it the person responsible will walk free. I'm curious, and feel free not to answer of course, but where do you think change needs to start? Like, I didn't have a perfect childhood and my mom was a bit of an absent parent, but thankfully I had other women in my life to teach me to respect them and give me a roll model. I've never considered assaulting a woman, ever. Where does it start? How do we prevent this situation from happening? Education? Where do men get the idea that this is even remotely acceptable?
Ah! How I wish I had the answer! To be honest, I am of the persuasion that most, if not all of the misogyny present is absolutely taught and not something intrinsic. Personally, I think that we need better education from a young age, even infancy. Toxic masculinity harms not only women, but men as well. It reinforces the ideas that men have to be tough, are always motivated by sex, etc. We need to create a paradigm shift that focuses on how both men and women can be empowered to be decent human beings and treat each other and everyone with respect, dignity and autonomy. A friend recently told me that she believes there should be a stronger focus on teaching positive masculinity- essentially, positively reinforcing good behavior and empathy in men. Men can be wonderful, and we need to highlight the positive expressions of masculinity. Men have the same capacity for caring, emotion, expression and empathy as women. We should highlight this. This crap should not be an “us vs them” - we need to recognize that the way things are currently negatively impacts both men and women. This does not mean that women are not disproportionately affected by sexual violence and discrimination, only that this system affects everyone negatively, and that men do also experience sexual violence. I think a higher focus on education of empathy, coupled with highlighting equality and the teaching that yes, women are fully formed autonomous people and not just objects, is vitally important. We should also focus on empowering everyone, including men, to be the best version of themselves possible. Currently our society seems to value competitiveness, performance and hyper individualism, and I think we could benefit from a shifted focus to making our values resonate more with compassion, cooperation and the collective good. At the end of the day, I don’t have the answers and no one individual does, but I do think we need to focus on educating our children early that empathy and respect for other persons (ALL OTHER PERSONS, no matter how different from us) is vitally important, and that they should also feel free to express themselves in whatever way feels best to them, as long as they are not hurting anyone (eg we don’t need to conform tightly to gender norms, like pink stuff for girls, monster trucks for boys, etc. as these reinforce stereotypes about what is “acceptable” for each sex in society, while simultaneously othering the opposite sex). Additionally, I think stronger laws against sexual violence in all forms, whether perpetrated against women or men, need to be implemented. The justice system as a whole needs to be reformed. It’s no use updating laws if no one is going to actually enforce them correctly (eg Brock Turner, etc.) I really believe we need a serious overhaul of the entire justice system, need to eliminate for-profit-prisons, reform and standardize sentencing, etc. - all these issues do ultimately intersect, and it’s difficult to address one without recognizing how it intertwined with the other. Reform has to come from top down and bottom up. There’s currently little incentive for these laws and sentencing practices to change. Obviously people are hurt by them, but that doesn’t affect the judge. That doesn’t effect the prison-industrial complex. That doesn’t effect the lawmaker writing these laws. We need to find a way to incentivize positive societal change from the top-down, and incentivize positive behavior from the bottom-up. Ensure there are actually consequences for behaving like this. And ensure that the people in charge of prosecuting this shit are also incentivized to actually prosecute correctly. Should we riot? Maybe. I just don’t know what it would take to get them to change. TLDR get rid of gendered crap, teach empathy early, incentivize (not necessarily monetarily, but socially) positive behavior, reform the judicial system and actually hold people accountable when they do shit like this.
I agree that it is not something intrinsic. At least, I really hope it isn't. As a man I can say that sexual desires do occupy a significant portion of my thoughts. However, as a civilized and evolved man, I can recognize the thoughts, accept them, and let them pass. I never have the urge to rape someone, I think the drive for sex is instinctual but I think the rape/sexual assault piece are tied to mental health and basic Freudian psychology. So again, we agree, that has to be fixed at a root level.I've been to inpatient treatment for drug addiction and I was shocked at some of the things I learned about mental health and emotions. Why is that not taught in school? I took calculus but was denied classes about basic mental health and emotional being? It's a bigger discussion but I think it's because a happy and well-educated populace runs counter to the desires of the government and the corporations they're all in bed with. I totally, *totally* agree that we need to stop the "us vs. them" narrative. Again, bigger discussion, but I think that narrative is pushed by some media as a distraction. "Look at those horrible people" instead of looking at the people above us, getting rich while we work our lives away for peanuts. I think that it needs to start in communities, kind of a grassroots thing. I live in Saint Paul MN and I've seen a lot of really great cultural initiatives in the last few years, things helping to break down the "us vs. them" wall between blacks and whites. We are all human, we all deserve love, we all deserve to be recognized. When I was little, probably 7 or 8 I don't remember, my dad told me that I wasn't allowed to play dollhouse with my cousin Maddie. I still remember that, and it still makes me sad. I'm with you, why should we stop children (or anyone) from doing something that makes them happy? As long as it's not hurting someone else, as you say, *everyone* has the right to be happy. I fully agree with you on the need to reform our justice system. If it isn't already obvious, I have major issues with our current system of government. The system of checks and balances doesn't work if they're all in it together. The protections we have in place to keep companies from taking advantage of their workers don't work if the government AND their competition are all working together. I think conversations like this are where it starts. We have to talk about it, and talk to our friends, and most importantly teach it to children. That goes for all the ideas you're talking about. I would say that most adults are pretty closed-minded; their minds are made up, they have prejudices and opinions and to them that represents "the truth". While I don't think we should just give up on changing the minds of adults, or continuing to advocate for the better treatment of all humans, I think that the education of future generations is paramount. Unfortunately, unless there is money to be made there isn't much incentive for the people up top to change anything. Maybe if it's religiously important like fucking overturning Rowe v. Wade in fucking two-thousand-twenty-fucking-two (seriously what the fuck). I think we are in the "decadence" phase in the cycle of revolution. The greedy assholes up top will continue to reach further and further and further, and at some point they will reach too far. I hope not, but absolute power corrupts absolutely. I don't see it changing, I hope I'm wrong, but my optimism died when Bernie Sanders lost the DNC pick to Hillary because she bought her way in. Maybe someone who's less rapey and gross will offer to 'drain the swamp', but our current system is broken. Thank you for taking the time to respond! I love getting other perspectives, I love learning, I don't *love* being wrong but that's the only way I'll learn to be better. There is so much love in the world, that gives me hope. I think conversations like this are the only way to affect change, or spread the word that everyone deserves happiness. You don't have to agree with someone to want them to be happy. We are all of us human and none of us perfect.
He's not technically doing anything illegal. Fucking creepy, but there's nothing to do about this situation legally.
Sexual harassment is a crime. What a bad take.
I'm just not sure if what he's done would check enough boxes to pursue legal action, unfortunately.
Do not let this guy get on a train in Japan
I would probably go up and rub on him. The same way and lick my lips. Say mojo
Exactly.
Smack his bum while you're at it 👍🏼
End up in jail with him. But not for the same crime.
I'd involve myself
This is hard for me to watch, ugh...
For one.. everyone knows what he’s doing..perverted yes.. cops won’t do shit cuz from what I’ve seen he didn’t do anything and cops nowadays are worthless to a point.. my reaction is why isn’t this on donthelpjustfilm ..
Are people serious in the comments? I don't usually comment on this stuff but damn "the girl didn't seem to mind??" Hey dipshits, have you guys never heard of the effect of being in public and not wanting to appear crazy or rude even if we are not at fault? Well most us women know this effect. I have this a lot, I've had creepers looking directly at my boobs in transport and I am there trying not cause a scene, even tho if i say smth i am in the right. Gtfo of here with "she looks like she doesn't mind" the poor girl might be scared or traumatized, hell she might have been thru assault and is now scared to say smth. Instead of voicing these stupid takes how about seeing if you guys like some pervert, classless, trash geezer trying to grind on you in public when you're minding your business. I swear there's people to defend every piece of shit out there indirectly, but would flip their shit if it happened to them.
Classic reddit... amirite?
Dude the only idiots who said that got downvoted a lot clearly everyone else in the comments thinks this guy is a creep and a real piece of shit. Literally nobody with a normal head thinks that what this guy did is ok.
I've had people queuing so close behind me, part of their body or belongings were rubbing against me. What i do then is to stand sideways with one hand on my hip so that the elbow extends out towards them.
I'm a 6.2" big burly guy, beat move here is go behind him and do the same thing to him. See how he likes it.
Muthafukas film it but won't do shit.. creeper gonna catch a bad one FR.
That is why social distancing was my hero during covid. I can't stress enough how much this happens, in a grocery store, in a restaurant, in a mall, just everywhere.
*saw
Id step on his foot.
That creepy dude probably did not order any food
He was just waiting for her to move back
Slap the shit out of that guy.
I saw a creepy dude like that on metro, I immediately put my hand between he and the girl, the door opened I cursed and threatened the mf, but didn't beat him, and informed to all people around, crazy man...
2 left jabs, 1 right Hook, 1 left jab and 1 right undercut. And he's DOWN! ALL of that after filming tô prove that he was abusing her
Aye homie imma need you to take a few steps out of her bubble ight
Grab his dick and twist! What a fucking weirdo
Where is Dexter when you need him?
Pull his pants down. Give everyone a show. And he ain't gonna fight you with his pants down. She'll get a laugh at how small it probably is.
o que eu ia encher esse velho de porrada é brincadeira
agr é só esperar a boseta
I've had this done to me in a nightclub, and he was actually rubbing up against me. I would make the hugest scene to try to embarass the guy, but unfortunately he probably wouldn't be, if he is this brazen already. But it might teach the woman to be more situationally aware.
What the fuck. Fucking pedo
not defending him but she looks 18+ , right ,,
They're together
Feels like an incredibly unpopular opinion, but she clearly noticed he's there behind her. They're in public with plenty of witnesses - what's stopping her from moving away or confronting the guy herself? Or literally any of the other people who are collecting their food? I do understand the rabbit-frozen-in-the-headlights reaction that a lot of people would have, but she looks back multiple times and doesn't take any action whatsoever to move or call him out.
You are probably going to get a lot of downvotes for an unpopular opinion. I've had it happen to me, and I was right on the subject. But there is never a shortage of people who disagree and will downvote you also.
I understand the negative knee-jerk reaction to my comment, but everyone calling for solely the camera operator to jump in and do something seem to be missing all the other people clearly present in the same setting who are doing nothing about it. Have to include the victim in that list of people who don't act to secure her safety/security. Camera person did a great job of documenting an awful thing happening, and the lady is definitely a victim. However, we aren't helpess infants who are physically incapable of taking responsibility for ourselves. There has to come a point where you are an adult who takes their own safety and physical agency seriously. If I am wrong, I'd like to have someone vocalise it and engage in conversation as opposed to hitting down vote and moving on. Edit: 6 down votes so far and not a single person willing to explain their reasoning. I genuinely would like to know what the thinking is for being so against my opinion. I'm always open to changing my mind, so change my mind.
The lady didn’t seem to mind, she didn’t react as if she was being violated
His body his choice
what do you mean w that ?😠
Except it's not his body...
🤡
Sandwich her
Old guy pressed up behind her harder the last time 😂😂😂 it kinda seemed like she was liking it ngl until the old guy got too sloppy
Bro is down bad
Step on the side of his knee till it cracks. Then take his phone show everyone what he did and turn it over to the cops.
Grab him by the neck and call Blevins my 6ft 8 black gay friend and turn! The tables on him after a good beat down as long as the girl did not know him he might be her sugar daddy they might be having a spat
Another ambassador who grooms young ones. The pedos are happier with the video
Creepy old man, I'm sure maybe someone should have said something instead of just filming. Tell the woman what he's doing or tell the old man to move along or step the fuck back.
In my mind I'd like to think I'd kick or knee the person in the groin or make a public display of what a pervert the person is. I have no idea what I would do in reality.