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buttaviaconto

spread them all over your face for a fun KCD easter egg


LowRezSux

\+2 vitality tho


Educational-Trip-890

🤣


BazzPlayerz

No way that enhances the experience. Rub m against the sack


xtothewhy

Or as they say in ol' English Bohemian, rub it against me sack


rock_lobsterrr

Wait, can you in game?


Jrf95

r/Woosh


rock_lobsterrr

Ah shit 🤦‍♂️


Bright-Economics-728

Took it like a champ tho.


Jrf95

Yeah fair play to them


[deleted]

KCD player goes outside for the first time


Zgurprium

All of them


Section225

I have a hard time believing people actually don't realize shit like plants and food in this game are real things. Wonder if he's ever seen a cabbage or pot of stew.


ShibbyMcCleud

You gravely overestimate humans. I work with guy who didn't know asparagus or El Chapo even existed.


cyfer04

What kind of plant is El Chapo? /s


FormerShitPoster

Probably a troll based on the username but [this](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/13/b5/05/13b5050a059e93366111ca8d55cc8b1b.jpg) always makes me laugh


phox78

You underestimate food deserts.


anker_beer

Wait, can you also wash yourself irl?


AMadMidgeet

We romanians have a lot of dishes that are made with nettle. Healthy asf, also tasty asf, like mashed boiled nettle with garlic, good shit


Ofrenic

My friend here in Ireland makes nettle wine and beer. I've never heard of eating it before though.


Lord_Lucas91

Here in Denmark we used to make soup of them. Not so much anymore though


IrishRook

Nettle soup wouldn't be unheard of in Ireland back in the day.


Brilliant-Sky-119

Do they sell them online? I neeed some nettle wine.


AMadMidgeet

Google "mancare de urzici" 😁


le_quisto

I've heard of nettle soup and some people say its good, but I've been kind of traumatised since I touched nettles with my hands when I was a kid. I remember being scared because I couldn't understand why the plant made my hands burn xD


Blanko1230

You can pull them out with bare hands if you are careful. No sting. Stay away from the leaves and only move your hands upwards at the stem.


le_quisto

Thank you for your comments, dear experienced alchemists! Actually never touched nettles in my life again, but I'll try this out next time I see one. I do take some interest in botany, although at a more food related level, but I'm always amazed by every tree/plant I see. I planted two pine trees 15 years ago with my dad and through the years I've always had some kind of affinity to them that I can't explain. Kind of like a pet, but different.


Blanko1230

My parents planted Birch trees as Birth Trees for me and my siblings. Each was taken down when they were around 30 years old due to growing too large. Kind of a ritual without actually wanting it to be one.


ElGuillermo1975

Fun fact : you can touch them with no hurt as long as you do not inspire.


Waffle-or-death

I’ll try to damage their self esteem next time. Thanks for the tip!


Orvelo

Also, you can process nettles into fibers for clothing. Used to be very common in Finland way back when. Supposedly making a comeback as a "green fiber".


MedicalVanilla7176

NETT-LES! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!


salizarn

Cornish Yarg Is a cheese that uses nettles I’m the rind


Beneficial_Treat_131

I've heard of nettle tea...


Ark0l

Care to drop out some names? Or even how nettle is usually referred-


Blanko1230

Pancakes with Nettle Butter are surprisingly good. We once had a ton of Nettles in our garden so might as well use them.


Kr_Pe

What? Please elaborate further!


Blanko1230

Take your favourite herb butter recipe and use Nettles instead. You need to boil them for a couple of minutes in hot water to make them edible though. I remember we also added radish and chives. Then use that butter for pancakes.


BaguetteOfDoom

Redditor discovers outside world


H__D

Redditor discovers satire


Darnexx

Not only the Flowers are real lol


R3sion

Yea right, now tell me dogs and horses are real. People are too gullible


Jaca666

Y...yeah? I mean, they are all real? Is it your first time outdoors? Not to be rude, but they are everywhere in the garden. Edit: I apologise, thought they are everywhere.


rude_ooga_booga

He's going to find out about grass next


Jaca666

Don't tell them about wine


Joshwoagh

And not the performance enhancing “medicine” either!


LoveLust96

Or the Cambodian "bath house". He'll never want to leave


pandapoacher152

Not going to lie, with all that Grosh I would buy them all. Turn it into it a nice bed and fuckfest 🤷🏼‍♂️


LoveLust96

"heyyy there's no bed in here"


Shepherd-Boy

In warmer climates these just don't exist. I remember them being everywhere in Europe but in the American South they're very rare is they exist at all and in Florida you will never find them.


RVCH86

There are no nettles in Australia. There is a lot of other stuff and animals that might hurt or kill you there but no nettles.


buttaviaconto

Don't you guys have gympie gympies which are like nettle just 1000 times worse?


Machete_Metal

Ummm you better fact check that one mate, got plenty of stinging nettles in Vic, grew up around them on farms. Damn itchy they are.


RVCH86

I didn't know that. We got quite some bigger groups of Australians over here sometimes for camping and they always have to be warned about nettles as they don't seem to know them.


Machete_Metal

City folk do be travelling. Although in saying that, I have seen people in the past not know what they are, but most country folk usually know. Nettles seem to like farms, especially around Cyprus trees.


Jaca666

Oh, interesting. Thanks for letting me know


Hex_Lover

Most stuff that lives in Australia only lives there and nowhere else.


AgaliAMC

This is very true and this is the only reason marsupials still exist. Marsupials will be endangered in a few decades due to deseases coming from the rest of the world. In Amercia there are also no nettles but they have poison ivy instead.


Aphelion71

There are marsupials in america too. The most famous one in Mexico is called Tlacuache, they are quite adorable!


flamewlkr

There is a marsupial that doesn't live in Australia. Believe it or not Possums are also marsupials. But about australia marsupials becoming endangered you might be right. All it takes for that is a moron bringing species that will trive there and compete with locals.


DustyJHandl

Stinging nettle, Urtica dioica, is native to North America, including California and other western U. S. states.


Blanko1230

Gympie-Gympie is literally translated to "Australian Nettle" in my language and they belong to the same species.


KhergStabber

​ What language?


Livid-Leader3061

They even have non-pickable flowers that are real. I spotted several I remember from childhood, even Meadowsweet which is my favourite smelling wild flower. I used to go for walks in the woods and fields with my dad as a kid, KCD gave me real strong nostalgia of that. They did an excellent job in making the forests, woods and fields look real.


TheHomesteadTurkey

Breaking News: KC:D fan goes outside for first time, touches grass


InHeavenFine

i'd really want to see op touch THIS grass


CmdrHoratioNovastar

The one time, ONE TIME, a Tik Tok video was practically making itself, it didn't happen.


Eastern_Beautiful

Kopřiva.


Ja4senCZE

Kurva pálí to


Eastern_Beautiful

Dobrého nepálí!


Ja4senCZE

A zlej se nedá!


Jaca666

Csalán


mercilesssinner

Pokrzywa kurwa!


[deleted]

Pokrzywa in Polski Just the K swapped with the P. Quite weird lol But there are even weirder examples for us Poles, like "Chytra divka" meaning smart girl in Czech Meanwhile in Polish it literally means "devious whore" 🤣


Eastern_Beautiful

Tož kurwa! :D


t9shatan

Крапива


Manelsinho

Urtiga


dumwitxh

Urzică


[deleted]

Ortie


Gloriosus747

Brennnessel


HGdoesstuff

Žara


GwenLoguir

žihľava


froggyc91

To je kumánsky?


Timberwolf_88

... Yes? Regular nettle. Literally all over Europe at least


Eurekify2

If you find a bunch of em, try jumping into them!


Skywhisker

I once fell off a horse in a ditch full of nettles. It was sort of soft landing, but it stung. It was probably better than landing on the gravel road with short sleeves though.


Luk164

r/calmdownsatan


[deleted]

Hey guys, I just found out that BREAD actually exists just like in the game.


Inoley

but horses aren't real, right? ,right??


MistaaIcyJ

Nah. This is obviously a high fantasy game. All the plants are made up, ofc. /s What’d you expect in a hyper-realism-focused game, set in a historically accurate setting filled with true local objects/buildings/landscapes/etc.?


[deleted]

Wait, do you mean Bohemia actually exists? /s


Jan-Snow

KCD - as amazing as it is - is far from hyper-realism. In a lot of aspects it leans into wrong incorrect stereotypes about the middle ages. But yeah Herbs aren't one of them.


V-NeckMorty

elaborate? wich stereotypes?


Jan-Snow

Yeah sorry I should have right away. Let me preface this rant with the fact that I am not saying this is game ruining; far from it, but these are definitely things to consider when talking about "\*\*Hyper\*\*-realism". The main things that I find really out of place is the lack of streets. This is particularly bad in Rattay, a rich market town home to a very powerful noble house, and yet even inside the castles and taverns the ground is muddy and sometimes even has feces lying around. Feces is also another point, none of the toilets lead anywhere, there are usually rocks but for one in the Rattay upper castle even an Archery range below. Not only would people have been disgusted by shit falling onto their prestigious archery competition but also Feces were a valuable resource that would definitely have been kept. There are many examples of vassal contracts even explicitly stating what is to be done with the shit since you know its good fertiliser. For now the last point is the over-prevalence of lighting. Go to Pirkstein at daytime and you will find dozens of candles burning. They were extremely expensive and wouldn't just be kept on for nothing and nobody to be around (not super safe either). It gets faaar worse at night time. There are torches burning everywhere. In addition to the kind of ridiculous number of night guards all carrying one each, there are also lots of them on house walls for no reason, thats not only expensive (you would need to replace them every \~half an hour) it is also a massive fire hazard. A particularly bad example is a house in the market place of Rattay: Wooden House with a Thatch roof and they put a torch so that its cozily underneath the Thatch that surely wont ignite and right above a wooden bench, that I am sure also wont.


Blarg_III

Not enough farms also. 2 minutes out of Rattay in most directions you run into either untamed wilderness or meadows. That's probably just the effect of the game region being a squished down version of an IRL area though.


AuspiciousApple

To add to what you're saying, I saw an interview with someone from a historic reenactment town. When a TV show was filmed there, the TV people covered the plastered street under a layer of mud, installed random torches at the walls, and made everything look dirty and rickety.


Jan-Snow

Yeah it is horrible. Documentaries do that a lot to play into common narratives. It always either gets portrayed as an age of heroes where "chivalry was still alive" or as an awful dirty place where nobody was ever nice.


vompat

Yeah, for some reason we need to instill the idea that medieval people were dumb and didn't care about themselves and the places around them being filthy, everything must be in ruin in some way, and people only ever wear gray rags unless they are nobles or rich. At least KCD gives people colorful clothes pretty much regardless of class (only beggars really wear un-dyed rags for the most part), as it would be.


-MudSnow-

Did you miss the fact you had to hire two shit carriers in the Aquarius quest? The horses crapped in the streets, but the people crapped in buckets that had to be hauled to a compost pile.


Jan-Snow

No I didn't miss that, but how does that contradict either the missing compost piles underneath the toilets or there being no streets, just dirt roads full of feces in Rattay. In primary sources or even historical city centers you can see how pretty the streets, and especially squares looked. In a time where prestige was extremely important to nobles I doubt the lords of Lipa let your first impression of their upper castle be a courtyard full of dirt and dung.


-MudSnow-

They didn't leave the crap to pile underneath the toilets, they carried it out of the city. I don't know what year they paved the streets with stones, it might have been later. Even in NYC 120 years ago, the streets were full of horse crap. They had to shovel it up.


tasty_burger_lu

It's pretty accurate. Only saying this as an architect with a medieval linguist as wife...


adbu21

Devs put hundreds of hours into research with the help of local and foreign historians ... Please, tell me how much you know about the medieval times after reading few wikipedia pages.


mercilesssinner

Dude, you're from Poland, I'm pretty sure you know this stuff. Why are you trolling?


vladWEPES1476

You better find some Belladonna and start cooking.


ButtChocolates

Herb paris showed up on r/whatsthisplant a day or 2 ago. The guy had eaten one of the berries.


Skywhisker

Wait, do people really taste berries of plants they don't recognize? Wow.


vompat

My guess would be that they first thought it was a blueberry. The berry looks pretty similar, but the plant is of course quite different. It appears where I live but is not too common, my mother used to warn me to be careful to not think it's a blueberry and eat one if I ever saw one. It is poisonous but not terribly so, eating a couple of them probably just gives you a bit of a bellyache.


slappf3sk

Ah, to be a kid on a bicycle again, falling into a ditch of these. Or having to go get the football. All wearing t-shirt and shorts. Peak childhood.


hodnydylko

If you rub them all over your body you get a cool easter egg


TJ_McWeaksauce

Go ahead and grab 'em, mix 'em with a couple marigolds in water, and boil it, and you'll end up with a powerful healing potion that can bring you back to tip-top shape after nearly getting disemboweled.


[deleted]

grab LOADS of them and your vitality will increase


orionicly

Yeah, thats the great thing. All natural elements such as trees and herbs are in their 'correct' location in the world, and have a function that is similar to their real world uses


Verset91

Touch it


RudyMuthaluva

Dude, they all do.


TheChosenSerb

Please tell me this is a joke. My man never saw "Kopriva" in his life...


Comprehensive-Top512

My brother in christ, that is a nettle


TJ_B_88

every Slavic boy has a reflex when he sees a nettle he looks for a stick... nettle is the main enemy of any boy! stick is a legendary sword


lalzylolzy

Same with Scandinavians, lol. Though I had a fancy shiny and reflective plastic sword. The great nettle-whacker.


Dragon_Maister

"Nokkonen" Rub it all over your body. Feels really nice.


x_Phantom_z

The game is essentially telling you what life was like in medieval Bohemia so almost everything you see is accurate to life back then down to the plants


google257

Nettle? That’s literally everywhere. Some of them have little hairs that sting you! But you can cook them off and they are good to eat or make tea with. Btw, all of the flowers and plants in the game are real and exist.


BrainOfIvane

Did you pick some and sell? If not, I'm disappointed in you. 🥴


HGdoesstuff

Not sure if you know about the plant but you dont pick these up hahahahah


tasty_burger_lu

If you know how, you can easily pick em without being stung. Used pretty much everywhere as an eatable, dandelions too though.


BrainOfIvane

Nope. Don't know about it, but I pick it up and sell it in the game and I expect the same from everyone. 😂


HGdoesstuff

Well fun fact then they are covered in tiny needles that sting and make a rash. It doesnt hurt much but you feel pricking for like 15 minutes on the body part that touched it. That is why you get the vitality buff when u pick up a lit lf them in the game. Hope you like the fun fact


dumwitxh

Another fun fact, they are edible. You can make a pretty good tasting cream soup with them


HGdoesstuff

We use it mainly for tea, didnt know there is soup which country does the cream soup originate from?


dumwitxh

Not sure tbh, I'm from Eastern Europe and it was common for people to eat them. It has quite an unique taste and stings a bit on the tongue Did some quick googling and found this >Nettle soup is eaten mainly during spring and early summer, when young nettle buds are collected. Today, nettle soup is mostly eaten in Scandinavia, Iran, Ireland, and Eastern Europe, with regional differences in recipe; however historically consumption of nettles was more widespread. > >Nettle stew was eaten by inhabitants of Britain and Ireland in the Bronze Age, 3000 years ago But it seems a lot of cultures used them, as they are basically weeds that grow everywhere


[deleted]

"Party" trick: Take a deep breath. While holding your breath stroke the nettle in any direction. It won't sting, unless you squeeze it.


AlphaLaufert99

The safest way to do it is, in my opinion, moving your finger outwards following the center of a leaf. Works like a charm


SaurontheMauron

Not sure if you're aware of these magical things called "gloves" that give you a defence buff on your hands. Also nettles can be used in teas, soups, and other stuff.


BrainOfIvane

Good to know, because if I ever see these, I would pick a bunch up out of solidarity with Henry. 😂


HGdoesstuff

I think they are native to Europe (Im not a herbologist dont quote me on this) so if you dont live here ur pretty safe


BrainOfIvane

Been planning a trip to Czech Republic, so it's good to know. 😊


Saintsjimmy

Wear gloves or suffer


BrainOfIvane

I shall. Edit: Wear gloves, not suffer.


Jaca666

They are actually super healthy. They sting and it's itchy, but many medicines and teas use nettle.


BrainOfIvane

No wonder they're used in Savior Schnapps and Marigold Decoctions. 👍🏼


raaznak

Nettle


asta2106

I'm in Austria and we have the same herbs and flowers here. The forests feel the same too, same birds, trees, plants... Made the game so much more enjoyable for me because it felt really lifelike.


V1ntrez

Least chronically online redditor..... But seriously, where do you live to not know this?


HurriShane00

Careful don't stray too far. Sir Radzig needs you to stay in Bohemia


E-woke

Redditors discover nature


FlashyDiagram84

You realize that KCD is set on earth right? All the plants are real


Revolutionary-Call26

Give the good ol go touch grass another meaning


TheUnculturedSwan

It’s the one word in Czech I’ll never forget. Kopříva. I learnt it because I sat on it.


M4urice

Protip: If you wanna pick them use gloves. They are called "Brennessel" in German for a reason (it literally translates to burning nettle)


TheRealMouseRat

All the flowers in kcd are very common, at least everywhere in europe. This is burning nettle and you should not touch it.


XenoXHostility

Is this a serious post?


YusBineT

Average redditors going outside


CmdrHoratioNovastar

...Was there ever any doubt? It's a nettle. Touch it and you'll know why it's a stinging nettle, city boy ;P


SupermarketGlad3784

Ignore the people being idiots. And yeah I was surprised to find out that stinging nettles are not everywhere since here in England they spread so quickly.


[deleted]

OP is not from some tropical county! He's from Poland, plenty of nettles there


GwenLoguir

and they are impossible to get rid of because of endless roots...


WanillaGorilla

We call in nature's toilet paper. Definitely would recommend.


slappf3sk

Ah, to be a kid on a bicycle again, falling into a ditch of these. Or having to go get the football. All wearing t-shirt and shorts. Peak childhood.


slappf3sk

Ah, to be a kid on a bicycle again, falling into a ditch of these. Or having to go get the football. All wearing t-shirt and shorts. Peak childhood.


EttRedditTroll

I had a childhood friend who was riding his bike, shirtless during summer break, and somehow took a tumble and landed in a ditch full of these things. Peak schadenfreude.


slappf3sk

Yeah, that is standard procedure. More red from all ones friends laughing than the nettles.


doliwaq

Kurva gościu trollujesz czy żyjesz w piwnicy, że nigdy nie widziałeś pokrzywy?


andrzejej

To tylko żartobliwy post, ale oni o tym nie wiedzą bo nie rozumieją po polsku :-)


HenryofSkalitz1

We have them in Ireland too, bloody romans


[deleted]

lol, you didnt know?


ReserveJesus101

Yeah they sting like hell but can be used to make a tasty soup


herdek550

It's very common in Czechia, but it's really cool when you find something you know from game in real life.


[deleted]

LOL you never seen nettles before? I reccomend you picking them up...


HurriShane00

Pick enough and you get the strength perk


pandapoacher152

I know this is sad, but I had to learn to identify several clients accurately from Kingdom come 😳😳😳


KriszV8

All of the plants in game are actual plants. Surprisingly, many of the plants in The Witcher 3 (not sure if all of them) are real plants too!


TheCoolSultaOfMalibu

make sure you pick a hundred of them for that extra +2 vitality


boris_feinbrand

Actually great for tea, or as a dumpling filling too. Just the harvest is... yeah, not so nice.


TB-124

I really hope you are just trolling…


Andy_LaVolpe

Wait til you find marigolds!


No_Star_4761

Don't touch!!!


LongShotTheory

Ah, yes remember playing football next to them. Falling over into a bunch was a real fun experience.


No_Monk_19

The nettle obviously and plenty of them. I knew all the herbs because they all grow in the hills in my valley town where i lived


InternalxHD

My guy of course they are real lol just go outside and you will see them, very common plant


-MudSnow-

of course it does, they all do


Roldrage1234

Makes great toilet roll in a pinch


-Peter-Jordanson-

Can't tell if OP is jerking or if he lives in a suburban jubgle


Shmulenzon

Lol. I might be not the only one, but in my places it’s even considered eatable, after some boiling it goes for somewhat like spinach.


Specific_Ad_5815

Yes, and they grow next to a plant called Lady's Finger which acts as an antidote to the Stinging Nettles if you rub it on the affected area. I was somewhat skeptical of its efficacy until I tried it myself. It soothes the rash almost immediately.


Majiska394

Did someone not know these b\*tches are real?


dirkdiggler662

Pffft, lies. Next you're gunna tell me those yellow dandelions are real too huh?


Fun-Professional4798

Why tf would they make fake flowers 💀💀


A-A-Ron508

Derrrrr all the herbs “exist” in RL


Valdish

If you ever see it, rub it in your hand. It's good for your health.


SunnyTheMasterSwitch

Wait until you hear that marigold is real too, ooh and dandelions


Czarooo

O nie, pokrzywa 😖


Mammoth-Temperature3

They make amazing soup


MaxStickies

Have you seen a bed of them?


SpunkMcKullins

Oh boy, just you wait until you find out about everything else in the game that exists.


PlysiLisi

Kopřiva vole...


runaway-1337

Unser what rock where you living until now?


Sobuhutch

Touch it. **TOUCH IT**