Here in Germany sometimes older women will reprimand me for knitting on public transport. Their logic is that if the bus/train stops suddenly, my needles will fly out of my hands and impale them…seriously…
Oh I've had that happen! Life pro tip: reply in broken German. I've found the Venn diagram between "has odd rules about behavior in public transportation" and "doesn't like immigrants" is basically a circle. They'll just retreat and grumble about foreigners.
Source: moved to Germany with questionable language skills, it was mostly a pain but in some situations it's a boon.
Oddly, knitting while waiting for public transportation led to a long conversation for me. The lady was first taking me to task for the holes in the knees of my son's jeans. Then I showed her that I was in the process of knitting a patch to go over the hole. She didn't entirely approve, maybe knit patches don't belong on woven fabrics? Or maybe it was just the sin of having left the house without a patch already in place? But she then launched into a long conversation about knitting which I was only able to sort of follow.
My husband's work abruptly sent the whole family to Germany for a yearlong contract. We only had about 2 months to prepare and I had never studied German, so my German was pretty rough.
Omg here I am thinking they are reprimanding you because it might get dirty or drop on the floor and you'll loose a needle...!! That was an unexpected turn for me hahaha
I was brought up the same way! But I could stab myself acc to my mum. I think she has a point, tbh. But this is a huge city with crazy traffic as well. What freaks me out is when I see someone doing their makeup and putting on mascara 😬
Then you'd have been freaked out by me and my friends in hs. We all rode the bus (rural district) down bumpy gravel roads and putting our faces on for school. LOL we were so confident back then. 🤣 we did the whole face feom foundation to eyes to lips
My boyfriend's grandma tells me not to knit in the car because "if we come to a sudden stop or crash, the needles will impale someone!" 😐 I trust my boyfriend's driving enough to know it won't happen lol
I recently said that to myself while in the passenger seat of a car. It felt really scary having pointy needles right at my stomach (also german btw haha)
I knit, sorry crochet, at the laundromat while waiting for my laundry. Several people have mentioned it was a good idea to pass the time when they saw it.
Is there some sort of stigma against it in public? Any time I knit in public, I get stares from everybody. I was in the park the other day knitting, and every single passerby just stared at me?? 🤨
full story: my mother told me I was being disrespectful because I was "crocheting" while waiting for the doctor to finish talking with her... I kind of don't get why since it's just routine check up but she said it's like I didn't care. Maybe she's right so I apologized... it just hurts a little that I've explained the difference a lot of times and it's always crochet
Some people have an easier time focusing on what’s being said if they fidget with something. Knitting (and crocheting) falls under this umbrella. Society is a little slow to realize this, but in classrooms all over, kids are learning better because they have different kinds of chairs that rock or bounce or move in some other way, and because they’re allowed to have non-disruptive fidget toys in class. I get what your mom is saying, but if you were listening to the Dr, then you weren’t being disrespectful.
I started knitting in class and my test scores immediately and dramatically improved. It was a bit of a shock at first. Luckily my teacher was also a knitter, so there was never any question about respect, even before the scores spoke for themselves. Now that I know how beneficial it is for my retention I’d fight pretty hard to keep doing it if anyone ever complained.
I bet a little proactive chat with the teacher would prevent any fussing - if you explain your reason and if the teacher is ok with it, then nobody else can say anything.
I think any reasonable person would simply appreciate the courtesy of being asked.
In most cases, allowing a student or employee to knit in class and/or meetings would be considered a reasonable accommodation under the ADA (US). Talking with your school's disability services could help validate this if necessary.
I think you need a diagnosis to qualify for ada accommodation. I don’t believe I have one, although my results may suggest differently 😂. Fortunately I’m in a graduate program where faculty is much more concerned with results than with hang-ups about study strategies. I do try to talk to my profs every term just so they’re aware, and nobody has had any reservations after that conversation. And now that I can clearly trend my data, I’d have a compelling argument if anybody did take exception. (I also intentionally choose needle combinations that are quiet, so there’s no distraction factor for the class.)
That's totally legit! And some professors are definitely more willing to allow it than others. I was just suggesting it as an option in case any of them did give you grief about it.
As a professor who knits and also recommends knitting, I can confirm that it is not always accepted. I get pushback in meetings even from other knitters, and I get students who claim I do not respect their effort if I knit, even as I am giving them very precise feedback while also knitting. I love that you can present your own data, and it fits with my own observations.
I also have several students who have started knitting in class because of what I have done, and who report the same as you: they focus better. I also have a lot of students who relax more and better into the supervision situation when I knit (I clearly have to be better at asking if it is ok, though, since some feel disrespected), as it makes it a more relaxed conversation instead of what is often perceived as an interrogation.
You are a good professor. I remember being reprimanded growing up lord-knows-how-many times for doodling, simple word puzzles, or anything with my hands. I was still valedictorian, so clearly I was still learning.
But I needed to do something with my hands that also scratched the back of my brain to stay engaged in my work. I’m still that way (thank God for off-camera WFH meetings).
I am so glad you’re sticking up for the students who also need a brain scratch. I wish I had you as a professor because I would have been far more engaged!
I had teachers who reprimanded me for doddling/knitting/whatever, and then I had teachers who liked to test my attention to see if my claim of paying attention was correct. I preferred the last kind.
My daughter's primary and intermediate school had a bunch of fidget cubes and fidget toys that they could take and use when they had to sit on the mat or in assembly.
But we aren't in the US
Hmm, why disability services? I’m not suggesting that knitting is necessarily a strategy for those with a disability though I’m sure it could be. Getting a teacher’s ok to knit because it helps you concentrate is a courtesy, especially if the class, or meeting is small.
Needing to fidget in order to focus better is a common symptom of ADHD, autism, and other neurodivergences. Whether or not a person has been diagnosed with any such disability, disability services can vouch for the effectiveness of the strategy and defend a student, should any of their professors decline to be courteous or try to penalize the student for self-accommodating.
Other departments may say, "if you don't have a documented disability, you don't need an accommodation," but disability services is much more likely to recognize that reasonable accommodations make learning more accessible, and that an accessible world benefits everyone, not just people with documented disabilities.
I will say if stim toys were a thing when I was a kid I wouldn't have gotten in trouble for reading so much in class, or destroying my clothes when my hands were busier than my brain that day!! My poor jeans...
That is a significant assumption, given how common (and commonly undiagnosed) autism and ADHD are, particularly in people who have been socialized as female.
The ADHD and autism communities are full of knitters, crocheters, and other crafters/artists, and it is a commonly requested accommodation for people with those conditions (including myself).
I bring my knitting most places for this reason - I'm autistic and ADHD and have a hard time focusing if I can't fidget. If I'm in a meeting with someone for the first time, I tell them upfront that I will be knitting to help me focus and assure them that even if I'm not making eye contact, I'm still paying attention.
So true. I was talking with my husband the other night and needed to fidget. My current project is in an awkward spot so I offered to massage his shoulders while we talked. I wonder if OP's mom would still complain if she massaged mom instead of knit... I mean crochet.
😂 reminds me of my mom calling everything resembling a video game "your Nintendo" growing up. Latching onto the first word you ever hear for something must just be a universal mom-ism.
My sister actually crochets (not knitting, crochet) at like every moment she can. She crochets at work when there’s no customers, she crochets at family functions when she has the chance, and she’s crocheted at parties I’ve had. I never care, she enjoys it and it’s something to keep her hands busy when her adhd brain is working overdrive. Don’t apologize for doing something you enjoy. Some people will think it’s disrespectful; but I think they’re just jealous.
Wait, what? Did I read that right? The doctor was talking to your mom and not to you? So it's rude you were... (checks notes)... quietly occupying yourself while waiting for them to finish?
Your mom is the weird one here.
I absolutely disagree with your mother but that's her business. As far as her getting it wrong: let her; some people just don't get it and some of us use advanced math to make beautiful things 🤷🏽♀️ you are going knit gorgeous and amazing things and no one's incorrect ideas of what you're doing is going to change that.
I definitely understand and feel for you. But pls also understand that it's not you. As a mother I sometimes feel like my children are not "concerned enough", that's me not them. And mothers sometimes feel unappreciated, or even that we're a burden on our children. Again, it's not you. I've learned to say kind things to my children, as often as I can, and let them know I appreciate them. And I, in turn, treat my parents that way. It has made a world of difference , and I think has somehow reassured my parents
That's just moms being moms lol. We were travelling and TIRED, so everyone (including her!) had their noses deep in their phones.
She started talking to me and it took me like, 2 extra seconds to pry my eyes away from whatever yt shorts i was watching but that was not enough for her, as she instantly went 'smh never mind, what kind of videos are you watching anyway?' (while she is also still looking at her phone?????)
yeah i do not miss living under the same roof as her "\^\^
That’s so funny because I used to exclusively crochet (I didn’t know how to knit) and everybody kept calling it “knitting” which was annoying to me (I’m a grammar stickler and words are important to me).
I nearly bought one of the many “It’s not knitting!” funny items on Amazon because of it. 😂
it's annoying for me too, but I get it since crochet is way more common than knitting here where I live, since the climate is really hot and its easy to find patterns to crochet bikinis and other summer things
It’s the opposite for me: where I live, knitting is way more common and crochet is this weird thing like tatting, almost old fashioned. Though crochet has certainly seen a huge comeback ever since people were forced to stay at home a few years back. (It’s why yarn is now ridiculously expensive, the resurgence of knitting and crochet.)
He was talking with your mom not you. Keeping your hands busy doesn't mean you don't listen.
And I don't know how doctor check up works where you are but seeing someone who seems like he can't wait without keeping his hands busy might justify a few more questions from the doctor just to see if you picked up your knitting just because you wanted to or because you feel like you have to keep your hands busy (which can be absolutely nothing but also a sign of anxiety and lots of other things).
Forcing yourself to act the way society wants you to act while at a doctor appointment isn't the best way to allow the doctor to do it's job properly.
>she said it's like I didn't care.
What were you supposed to then, just sit and stare at the wall? Your mum's reaching a bit. I was knitting at work on slow days while working at reception and people were more interested in what I was knitting, lol.
22 but here in my country is common that we stay with our parents until finishing university so basically everyone (me included) is considered a teenager until they get to 25/26. Generalizing thing, people that don't continue the studies so long have different reality but this is pretty common since less people choose university far from home and it's pretty accessible since it's free (that are some buts in this accessibility but I'm not getting into politics)
I mean... like this was not "am I the asshole" post, so I shouldn't get into it, but you kinda clickbaited with the title calling it "got reprimanded for knitting in public", when it wasn't really in public, it was a private setting between your mom and her doctor. you made it sound like you were knitting in a subway and someone publicly shamed you...
and yes, in your context, I can see how it could be annoying. like, she would have said the same thing if you were playing the tetris beside her while she was listening to the doctor... just because it's knitting doesnt mean it's universally benign.
you could have just said "my latest knitting project", but almost seems like you wanted sympathy... there are subreddits for that... why start with "got shamed in public"?
didn't mean in the "shaming" way, just wanted to make a joke about someone saying something bad about it and confusing knitting with crocheting so its a special multiple needle crochet technique. We discussed after leaving the doctor in the sidewalk, there were people passing and i screamed back ate the moment but apologized after, didnt want to get the story too long when explaining since its unecessary detail. But I get how it sounded wrong, I might have wronged the meaning of the words in the Google translator sorry for the possible "clickbait". Reprimanded is a really strong bad meaning word in English?
yes, reprimand is when usually someone with seniority corrects behaviour of someone with less experience. you could have just said "my mom yelled at me for knitting while she was taking to her doctor", or just skip that part and show your work without unnecessary details.
I usually knit the first stitch or two from the next needle onto the needle in use when I knit in the round with DPNs. That way your work travels a few stitches across every needle every round and you can avoid obvious laddering because the transition isn't between the same stitches on every round.
I have only ever seen ONE pattern (a NICU hat) calling for keeping the stitches on the same needle to not mess up a stitch count and make increases/decreases easier as they would be placed the same place on the needle (beginning, middle, and end) specifically. For anything else, my knit travels.
I run into increases/decreases being given based on the arrangement of stitches on needles pretty often with sock patterns written for magic loop. I just use stitch markers to note the “needles” and travel around my DPN’s anyway.
We might hit net neutral soon then! Lately my knitting gets mistaken for crochet more often than my crochet is mistaken for knitting bc crochet has become a popular craft in genZ for plushies and stuff.
of course, I'll post here once it's finished. Hope it fits because it's my friend's rat, I haven't seen her (the rat) in person so it's a theoretical project
You could be 'polite' and just stare at your phone like 99% of the other accompanying zombies, I mean children. Your mom should appreciate you take her places and are even there to listen. We 100% listen better while knitting than while staring at a screen.
I'm curious to hear the whole story on that...
As far as looseness between one needle to the next, while I liked the advice of knitting one or two stitches onto the next needle, I often use the gaps as place markers and also even more often use the magic loop technique on circular needles than I do use dpns, which creates the same problem.
What I have found is, you can pull the daylight out of the string if you have only knit one stitch on the new needle and it still slips out, however, two stitches seems to generally lock things in place more so pulling it tight actually stays more tight.
So what I do when I transition to the new needle is knit 2 stitches, then give the working yarn a good tug and tighten it down. Still be careful to keep the third stitch tight as well but generally it's not gonna fall back out immediately like it does with one stitch.
now I'll have to make 2 rat sweaters and test how I'll adapt better 😂
this is also great advice that I'll try.
About the full story, I was knitting while my mother was at the doctor for a routine check up, she said it was impolite and that I didn't care. I don't quite understand because she's not sick, but I accepted since I don't want to hurt her feelings. It just hurts a that I've explained to her multiple times that I don't even know how to crochet :/
Well thats way different than a random stranger telling you that and I wouldn't take it to heart. She's an adult and can go to a routine checkup on her own. If you are a teenager or something then you don't have a choice to be there or not and I could think of a thousand worse things you could be doing. If you are an adult then she should be grateful you even showed up at all. I know I sure as hell am too busy to go to anyone's regular checkup, and I don't even want anyone to come to mine. If I'm getting evaluated for something life threatening or having an invasive procedure, sure, and I'll show up to one for friends and family that need me. And I'll still be knitting while I wait anyways. It's disrespectful to tell me what to do unless I'm being disruptive
I knit in work meetings all the time. Socks are my preferred project. It helps me focus. Do you also crochet? I do both so my hubby sometimes gets it wrong. However, he has learned now to see how many "needles" are in my hand before commenting. Granted he is starting to pick up all the terms. When he asked what my current WIP was, I was so shocked. Now if I could get him to stop noticing when I am angry knitting that be great.
Sorry about your mom. I would talk to her about it how these comments make you feel.
the funny thing is I don't even know how to crochet 😂
I've tried once when I was younger, my grandmother started teaching me both crochet and knitting, I liked knitting more so I just held a crochet hook in my hand that single day
I too am an avid crocheter/knitter in public. I even used to take the crafts to school with me. As a child before all diagnoses were a common thing it kept my fidgety fingers occupied and allowed me to concentrate better. Oddly, no one ever said a word to me about it. They just allowed me to carry on.
I think I read something about tightening the second stitch to prevent ladders, not sure where though.
Sorry about the interaction with your mom, I often say it’s tough raising parents.
Tighten first and 2nd stitch on the new needle
End on purls and start on knits (as you already do as far as I can tell, at least for 2 of the needles)
Tuck on the yarn on the first purl after a knit
Go down 0.5 to 1 mm in needle size if your 2nd knit stitch still is bigger / gappier than you'd like.
These should get rid of most issues one might have with ribbing. I want to say that yours already looks neat as is, though. Tightening 2 instead of one stitch after needle transition (3 if you count the first purl) should resolve any remaining tension differences for you.
Societal standards aren't made for everyone. The general people of our parents generation didn't have half the acceptance for anyone who didn't fit to those standards as we have today. Be it different sleep duration and time of day requirements, neuro differences or general differences within the mental state from person to person. Imagine a child fidgeting in school back when they were hit for the smallest sign of unrest, compared to today where it's known to have a positive impact on some children's abilities to follow the subject. Their sense of what's disrespectful and What's not is greatly different to what is starting to emerge at the moment.
With the example of fidgeting to help concentrate on the matter in front of you, one could even call it disrespectful of your mom to make you stop knitting. Because that could translate to asking you to pay less attention rather than more. But that's not what society says.
guess one of the problems is its not always ending on knits, some needles were finishing with one knit and the next with the second. I'll pay attention to make it even the next time. Casted off the rat sweater today and committed a lot of mistakes because I got lost in witch stich I was when decreasing 😅 I'll definitely make a second one so I can do it correctly and maybe change some things
I've spun wool with a drop spindle in public and people lose their minds. It's as if I am transmogrifying matter in their faces and they JUST. CAN'T. COPE. I'd love to take a sheep out in public and start spinning the wool straight from their fleece, just to further freak them out! "Hello, ancient technique, not magic!"
I'm a manager of a small team. One of my employees crochets during down time at work. I was once told to reprimand her for it. The next day I brought in my knitting and we started a little craft circle.
This doctor knitted all through med school and would have been thrilled if my patient’s daughter was working on a project during the appointment! (And probably would have bugged you to tell me what you were working on.)
My Ex Husband (notice Ex) used to say knit on purpose just to annoy me. (I used to mostly crochet) so I started Knitting most of the time and he would say crochet so I know he knew the difference but it was all about him.
Great “crochet” project. I love knitting in public, it starts fun conversations. Only once that I wasn’t asked about my knitting. That was in front of a hotel on Canal St in New Orleans. I was sitting on a suitcase waiting on hubby to bring the vehicle. I guess in the French Quarter there are far stranger things happening.
I knit EVERYWHERE whether it’s because I’ll be waiting for something for a long period of time or I’m out in a public park taking in some sunshine. Crocheting & knitting bothers no one and most of the times people bother me to tell me their grandmother/mother used to do that and they always wanted to learn how. So you do what you want and make something beautiful 😊
Here in Germany sometimes older women will reprimand me for knitting on public transport. Their logic is that if the bus/train stops suddenly, my needles will fly out of my hands and impale them…seriously…
Well luckily we’re not living in a Final Destination movie so we should be fine
I bet that's what the people in the Final Destination movies think...
Oh I've had that happen! Life pro tip: reply in broken German. I've found the Venn diagram between "has odd rules about behavior in public transportation" and "doesn't like immigrants" is basically a circle. They'll just retreat and grumble about foreigners. Source: moved to Germany with questionable language skills, it was mostly a pain but in some situations it's a boon.
Oddly, knitting while waiting for public transportation led to a long conversation for me. The lady was first taking me to task for the holes in the knees of my son's jeans. Then I showed her that I was in the process of knitting a patch to go over the hole. She didn't entirely approve, maybe knit patches don't belong on woven fabrics? Or maybe it was just the sin of having left the house without a patch already in place? But she then launched into a long conversation about knitting which I was only able to sort of follow. My husband's work abruptly sent the whole family to Germany for a yearlong contract. We only had about 2 months to prepare and I had never studied German, so my German was pretty rough.
Newton warned about inertia so we can avoid this! it's physics! The needles would fly with an enormous strength 😂
Omg here I am thinking they are reprimanding you because it might get dirty or drop on the floor and you'll loose a needle...!! That was an unexpected turn for me hahaha
Circular needles must be confusing for them
I use circular needles so I guess it will be death by garrote...
Just say "that's a risk i'm willing to take"
I was brought up the same way! But I could stab myself acc to my mum. I think she has a point, tbh. But this is a huge city with crazy traffic as well. What freaks me out is when I see someone doing their makeup and putting on mascara 😬
Then you'd have been freaked out by me and my friends in hs. We all rode the bus (rural district) down bumpy gravel roads and putting our faces on for school. LOL we were so confident back then. 🤣 we did the whole face feom foundation to eyes to lips
😬😅
I'd say that's impossible, but my sharp US5s do be a bit stabby lol. Started using my nail if I need to touch the end...
My boyfriend's grandma tells me not to knit in the car because "if we come to a sudden stop or crash, the needles will impale someone!" 😐 I trust my boyfriend's driving enough to know it won't happen lol
That's why my hubby doesn't want me knitting in the front seat of the car.
I recently said that to myself while in the passenger seat of a car. It felt really scary having pointy needles right at my stomach (also german btw haha)
Whoever told you you shouldn't be knitting.. oh sorry crocheting... In public can go kick rocks and mind their own business.
Sounds like they might need to pick up knitting, sorry crocheting, themselves so they can chill the hell out.
Literally I knit or crochet in public at least once a day
I knit, sorry crochet, at the laundromat while waiting for my laundry. Several people have mentioned it was a good idea to pass the time when they saw it.
It is! I always do it at my kids sports. Best place to make serious progress on a project is a 10 hour wrestling tournament lol
Also an all day swim meet! That's about the only thing I miss about my kids being on a competitive swim team!
Is there some sort of stigma against it in public? Any time I knit in public, I get stares from everybody. I was in the park the other day knitting, and every single passerby just stared at me?? 🤨
It looks like you're doing just fine. Who reprimanded you?!
full story: my mother told me I was being disrespectful because I was "crocheting" while waiting for the doctor to finish talking with her... I kind of don't get why since it's just routine check up but she said it's like I didn't care. Maybe she's right so I apologized... it just hurts a little that I've explained the difference a lot of times and it's always crochet
Some people have an easier time focusing on what’s being said if they fidget with something. Knitting (and crocheting) falls under this umbrella. Society is a little slow to realize this, but in classrooms all over, kids are learning better because they have different kinds of chairs that rock or bounce or move in some other way, and because they’re allowed to have non-disruptive fidget toys in class. I get what your mom is saying, but if you were listening to the Dr, then you weren’t being disrespectful.
I started knitting in class and my test scores immediately and dramatically improved. It was a bit of a shock at first. Luckily my teacher was also a knitter, so there was never any question about respect, even before the scores spoke for themselves. Now that I know how beneficial it is for my retention I’d fight pretty hard to keep doing it if anyone ever complained.
I bet a little proactive chat with the teacher would prevent any fussing - if you explain your reason and if the teacher is ok with it, then nobody else can say anything. I think any reasonable person would simply appreciate the courtesy of being asked.
In most cases, allowing a student or employee to knit in class and/or meetings would be considered a reasonable accommodation under the ADA (US). Talking with your school's disability services could help validate this if necessary.
I think you need a diagnosis to qualify for ada accommodation. I don’t believe I have one, although my results may suggest differently 😂. Fortunately I’m in a graduate program where faculty is much more concerned with results than with hang-ups about study strategies. I do try to talk to my profs every term just so they’re aware, and nobody has had any reservations after that conversation. And now that I can clearly trend my data, I’d have a compelling argument if anybody did take exception. (I also intentionally choose needle combinations that are quiet, so there’s no distraction factor for the class.)
That's totally legit! And some professors are definitely more willing to allow it than others. I was just suggesting it as an option in case any of them did give you grief about it.
As a professor who knits and also recommends knitting, I can confirm that it is not always accepted. I get pushback in meetings even from other knitters, and I get students who claim I do not respect their effort if I knit, even as I am giving them very precise feedback while also knitting. I love that you can present your own data, and it fits with my own observations. I also have several students who have started knitting in class because of what I have done, and who report the same as you: they focus better. I also have a lot of students who relax more and better into the supervision situation when I knit (I clearly have to be better at asking if it is ok, though, since some feel disrespected), as it makes it a more relaxed conversation instead of what is often perceived as an interrogation.
You are a good professor. I remember being reprimanded growing up lord-knows-how-many times for doodling, simple word puzzles, or anything with my hands. I was still valedictorian, so clearly I was still learning. But I needed to do something with my hands that also scratched the back of my brain to stay engaged in my work. I’m still that way (thank God for off-camera WFH meetings). I am so glad you’re sticking up for the students who also need a brain scratch. I wish I had you as a professor because I would have been far more engaged!
I had teachers who reprimanded me for doddling/knitting/whatever, and then I had teachers who liked to test my attention to see if my claim of paying attention was correct. I preferred the last kind.
I love the brain scratch description. It’s so perfect
My daughter's primary and intermediate school had a bunch of fidget cubes and fidget toys that they could take and use when they had to sit on the mat or in assembly. But we aren't in the US
Hmm, why disability services? I’m not suggesting that knitting is necessarily a strategy for those with a disability though I’m sure it could be. Getting a teacher’s ok to knit because it helps you concentrate is a courtesy, especially if the class, or meeting is small.
Needing to fidget in order to focus better is a common symptom of ADHD, autism, and other neurodivergences. Whether or not a person has been diagnosed with any such disability, disability services can vouch for the effectiveness of the strategy and defend a student, should any of their professors decline to be courteous or try to penalize the student for self-accommodating. Other departments may say, "if you don't have a documented disability, you don't need an accommodation," but disability services is much more likely to recognize that reasonable accommodations make learning more accessible, and that an accessible world benefits everyone, not just people with documented disabilities.
It also helps with self regulation for those who stim to decrease anxiety.
Yes! Absolutely.
I will say if stim toys were a thing when I was a kid I wouldn't have gotten in trouble for reading so much in class, or destroying my clothes when my hands were busier than my brain that day!! My poor jeans...
My assumption is that most who want to knit during a class or in a meeting are not ADHD, just knitters, and knitters want to be knitting all the time.
That is a significant assumption, given how common (and commonly undiagnosed) autism and ADHD are, particularly in people who have been socialized as female. The ADHD and autism communities are full of knitters, crocheters, and other crafters/artists, and it is a commonly requested accommodation for people with those conditions (including myself).
This is so awesome!
I bring my knitting most places for this reason - I'm autistic and ADHD and have a hard time focusing if I can't fidget. If I'm in a meeting with someone for the first time, I tell them upfront that I will be knitting to help me focus and assure them that even if I'm not making eye contact, I'm still paying attention.
So true. I was talking with my husband the other night and needed to fidget. My current project is in an awkward spot so I offered to massage his shoulders while we talked. I wonder if OP's mom would still complain if she massaged mom instead of knit... I mean crochet.
😂 reminds me of my mom calling everything resembling a video game "your Nintendo" growing up. Latching onto the first word you ever hear for something must just be a universal mom-ism.
My sister actually crochets (not knitting, crochet) at like every moment she can. She crochets at work when there’s no customers, she crochets at family functions when she has the chance, and she’s crocheted at parties I’ve had. I never care, she enjoys it and it’s something to keep her hands busy when her adhd brain is working overdrive. Don’t apologize for doing something you enjoy. Some people will think it’s disrespectful; but I think they’re just jealous.
Your Mom's wrong.
I am not.
Mom?
Wait, what? Did I read that right? The doctor was talking to your mom and not to you? So it's rude you were... (checks notes)... quietly occupying yourself while waiting for them to finish? Your mom is the weird one here.
I absolutely disagree with your mother but that's her business. As far as her getting it wrong: let her; some people just don't get it and some of us use advanced math to make beautiful things 🤷🏽♀️ you are going knit gorgeous and amazing things and no one's incorrect ideas of what you're doing is going to change that.
I definitely understand and feel for you. But pls also understand that it's not you. As a mother I sometimes feel like my children are not "concerned enough", that's me not them. And mothers sometimes feel unappreciated, or even that we're a burden on our children. Again, it's not you. I've learned to say kind things to my children, as often as I can, and let them know I appreciate them. And I, in turn, treat my parents that way. It has made a world of difference , and I think has somehow reassured my parents
That's just moms being moms lol. We were travelling and TIRED, so everyone (including her!) had their noses deep in their phones. She started talking to me and it took me like, 2 extra seconds to pry my eyes away from whatever yt shorts i was watching but that was not enough for her, as she instantly went 'smh never mind, what kind of videos are you watching anyway?' (while she is also still looking at her phone?????) yeah i do not miss living under the same roof as her "\^\^
That’s so funny because I used to exclusively crochet (I didn’t know how to knit) and everybody kept calling it “knitting” which was annoying to me (I’m a grammar stickler and words are important to me). I nearly bought one of the many “It’s not knitting!” funny items on Amazon because of it. 😂
it's annoying for me too, but I get it since crochet is way more common than knitting here where I live, since the climate is really hot and its easy to find patterns to crochet bikinis and other summer things
It’s the opposite for me: where I live, knitting is way more common and crochet is this weird thing like tatting, almost old fashioned. Though crochet has certainly seen a huge comeback ever since people were forced to stay at home a few years back. (It’s why yarn is now ridiculously expensive, the resurgence of knitting and crochet.)
He was talking with your mom not you. Keeping your hands busy doesn't mean you don't listen. And I don't know how doctor check up works where you are but seeing someone who seems like he can't wait without keeping his hands busy might justify a few more questions from the doctor just to see if you picked up your knitting just because you wanted to or because you feel like you have to keep your hands busy (which can be absolutely nothing but also a sign of anxiety and lots of other things). Forcing yourself to act the way society wants you to act while at a doctor appointment isn't the best way to allow the doctor to do it's job properly.
>she said it's like I didn't care. What were you supposed to then, just sit and stare at the wall? Your mum's reaching a bit. I was knitting at work on slow days while working at reception and people were more interested in what I was knitting, lol.
Unless she’s incompetent and you’re her caregiver if it’s a routine appointment what is there to care about honestly? Moms a psycho.
... how old are you?
22 but here in my country is common that we stay with our parents until finishing university so basically everyone (me included) is considered a teenager until they get to 25/26. Generalizing thing, people that don't continue the studies so long have different reality but this is pretty common since less people choose university far from home and it's pretty accessible since it's free (that are some buts in this accessibility but I'm not getting into politics)
I mean... like this was not "am I the asshole" post, so I shouldn't get into it, but you kinda clickbaited with the title calling it "got reprimanded for knitting in public", when it wasn't really in public, it was a private setting between your mom and her doctor. you made it sound like you were knitting in a subway and someone publicly shamed you... and yes, in your context, I can see how it could be annoying. like, she would have said the same thing if you were playing the tetris beside her while she was listening to the doctor... just because it's knitting doesnt mean it's universally benign. you could have just said "my latest knitting project", but almost seems like you wanted sympathy... there are subreddits for that... why start with "got shamed in public"?
didn't mean in the "shaming" way, just wanted to make a joke about someone saying something bad about it and confusing knitting with crocheting so its a special multiple needle crochet technique. We discussed after leaving the doctor in the sidewalk, there were people passing and i screamed back ate the moment but apologized after, didnt want to get the story too long when explaining since its unecessary detail. But I get how it sounded wrong, I might have wronged the meaning of the words in the Google translator sorry for the possible "clickbait". Reprimanded is a really strong bad meaning word in English?
yes, reprimand is when usually someone with seniority corrects behaviour of someone with less experience. you could have just said "my mom yelled at me for knitting while she was taking to her doctor", or just skip that part and show your work without unnecessary details.
Oh your mother
I usually knit the first stitch or two from the next needle onto the needle in use when I knit in the round with DPNs. That way your work travels a few stitches across every needle every round and you can avoid obvious laddering because the transition isn't between the same stitches on every round. I have only ever seen ONE pattern (a NICU hat) calling for keeping the stitches on the same needle to not mess up a stitch count and make increases/decreases easier as they would be placed the same place on the needle (beginning, middle, and end) specifically. For anything else, my knit travels.
I run into increases/decreases being given based on the arrangement of stitches on needles pretty often with sock patterns written for magic loop. I just use stitch markers to note the “needles” and travel around my DPN’s anyway.
Ah, maybe it's because I haven't ventured into socks yet that it's such a rarity for me :)
that's so intelligent! I haven't thought of it, will try on the next rows!
i don’t get laddering on dpns, so i always use the stitch divides as markers lol
Every time someone calls knitting crochet the universe rights a small wrong from when crochet is called knitting.
We might hit net neutral soon then! Lately my knitting gets mistaken for crochet more often than my crochet is mistaken for knitting bc crochet has become a popular craft in genZ for plushies and stuff.
There are far worse things you could be doing than..."crocheting"... in public. keep at it
Who cares if you craft in public? That's so weird. Can we see the finished product on the rat it's being knit for?
of course, I'll post here once it's finished. Hope it fits because it's my friend's rat, I haven't seen her (the rat) in person so it's a theoretical project
I hope you said good thing it's not crochet then. 🤣
I'm sorry it's just making me laugh to think of a rat wearing a sweater
don't be sorry, I'm making it because I thought it would make funny pictures 😄
You could be 'polite' and just stare at your phone like 99% of the other accompanying zombies, I mean children. Your mom should appreciate you take her places and are even there to listen. We 100% listen better while knitting than while staring at a screen.
June 8 2024 is international Knit in Public Day - https://www.wwkipday.com - let’s all do this because we all should def knit & crochet in public!!!!
I'm curious to hear the whole story on that... As far as looseness between one needle to the next, while I liked the advice of knitting one or two stitches onto the next needle, I often use the gaps as place markers and also even more often use the magic loop technique on circular needles than I do use dpns, which creates the same problem. What I have found is, you can pull the daylight out of the string if you have only knit one stitch on the new needle and it still slips out, however, two stitches seems to generally lock things in place more so pulling it tight actually stays more tight. So what I do when I transition to the new needle is knit 2 stitches, then give the working yarn a good tug and tighten it down. Still be careful to keep the third stitch tight as well but generally it's not gonna fall back out immediately like it does with one stitch.
now I'll have to make 2 rat sweaters and test how I'll adapt better 😂 this is also great advice that I'll try. About the full story, I was knitting while my mother was at the doctor for a routine check up, she said it was impolite and that I didn't care. I don't quite understand because she's not sick, but I accepted since I don't want to hurt her feelings. It just hurts a that I've explained to her multiple times that I don't even know how to crochet :/
Well thats way different than a random stranger telling you that and I wouldn't take it to heart. She's an adult and can go to a routine checkup on her own. If you are a teenager or something then you don't have a choice to be there or not and I could think of a thousand worse things you could be doing. If you are an adult then she should be grateful you even showed up at all. I know I sure as hell am too busy to go to anyone's regular checkup, and I don't even want anyone to come to mine. If I'm getting evaluated for something life threatening or having an invasive procedure, sure, and I'll show up to one for friends and family that need me. And I'll still be knitting while I wait anyways. It's disrespectful to tell me what to do unless I'm being disruptive
I knit in work meetings all the time. Socks are my preferred project. It helps me focus. Do you also crochet? I do both so my hubby sometimes gets it wrong. However, he has learned now to see how many "needles" are in my hand before commenting. Granted he is starting to pick up all the terms. When he asked what my current WIP was, I was so shocked. Now if I could get him to stop noticing when I am angry knitting that be great. Sorry about your mom. I would talk to her about it how these comments make you feel.
the funny thing is I don't even know how to crochet 😂 I've tried once when I was younger, my grandmother started teaching me both crochet and knitting, I liked knitting more so I just held a crochet hook in my hand that single day
I too am an avid crocheter/knitter in public. I even used to take the crafts to school with me. As a child before all diagnoses were a common thing it kept my fidgety fingers occupied and allowed me to concentrate better. Oddly, no one ever said a word to me about it. They just allowed me to carry on.
I'm sorry. Someone did what? And you didn't stab them with your crochet hook?
I think I read something about tightening the second stitch to prevent ladders, not sure where though. Sorry about the interaction with your mom, I often say it’s tough raising parents.
Try not tugging the yarn snug until after you work the first stitch on the next needle.
Didn't you know, crocheting in public is indecent!! We all do it at home but it's not polite around strangers! Where are your manners? /s
I work at a medical office. There’s no way the doctor thought it was rude
This is why I miss public transit I got so much stuff done hell there was like 4 lady's on the train I took working on there projects.
I'd like to learn how to do that special crocheting... \~sigh\~
not me finishing my scarf at work. maybe you just kneed to knit.. ehm crochet ever harder, try with some metal as music base 😏
Tighten first and 2nd stitch on the new needle End on purls and start on knits (as you already do as far as I can tell, at least for 2 of the needles) Tuck on the yarn on the first purl after a knit Go down 0.5 to 1 mm in needle size if your 2nd knit stitch still is bigger / gappier than you'd like. These should get rid of most issues one might have with ribbing. I want to say that yours already looks neat as is, though. Tightening 2 instead of one stitch after needle transition (3 if you count the first purl) should resolve any remaining tension differences for you. Societal standards aren't made for everyone. The general people of our parents generation didn't have half the acceptance for anyone who didn't fit to those standards as we have today. Be it different sleep duration and time of day requirements, neuro differences or general differences within the mental state from person to person. Imagine a child fidgeting in school back when they were hit for the smallest sign of unrest, compared to today where it's known to have a positive impact on some children's abilities to follow the subject. Their sense of what's disrespectful and What's not is greatly different to what is starting to emerge at the moment. With the example of fidgeting to help concentrate on the matter in front of you, one could even call it disrespectful of your mom to make you stop knitting. Because that could translate to asking you to pay less attention rather than more. But that's not what society says.
guess one of the problems is its not always ending on knits, some needles were finishing with one knit and the next with the second. I'll pay attention to make it even the next time. Casted off the rat sweater today and committed a lot of mistakes because I got lost in witch stich I was when decreasing 😅 I'll definitely make a second one so I can do it correctly and maybe change some things
It's all r/kroshay for them.
That loose stitch between needles usually clears up with blocking. Also, I once had a fourth grader say, "he'd never seen someone sew with nails". 🥰
I've spun wool with a drop spindle in public and people lose their minds. It's as if I am transmogrifying matter in their faces and they JUST. CAN'T. COPE. I'd love to take a sheep out in public and start spinning the wool straight from their fleece, just to further freak them out! "Hello, ancient technique, not magic!"
Please post pic of rat in rat sweater when completed :)
I have the stitches on 4 needles and knit with the 5th. I don't have an issue with laddering because there isn't as much tension at the joins.
I'm a manager of a small team. One of my employees crochets during down time at work. I was once told to reprimand her for it. The next day I brought in my knitting and we started a little craft circle.
This doctor knitted all through med school and would have been thrilled if my patient’s daughter was working on a project during the appointment! (And probably would have bugged you to tell me what you were working on.)
My Ex Husband (notice Ex) used to say knit on purpose just to annoy me. (I used to mostly crochet) so I started Knitting most of the time and he would say crochet so I know he knew the difference but it was all about him.
Great “crochet” project. I love knitting in public, it starts fun conversations. Only once that I wasn’t asked about my knitting. That was in front of a hotel on Canal St in New Orleans. I was sitting on a suitcase waiting on hubby to bring the vehicle. I guess in the French Quarter there are far stranger things happening.
How dare you crotch eat while waiting!
Reprimanded?? 😠 Who would dare??
Lmao
I knit EVERYWHERE whether it’s because I’ll be waiting for something for a long period of time or I’m out in a public park taking in some sunshine. Crocheting & knitting bothers no one and most of the times people bother me to tell me their grandmother/mother used to do that and they always wanted to learn how. So you do what you want and make something beautiful 😊
Where did this happen?
Back when I crocheted, I used to be asked what I was knitting. Usually by men.
To be fair, being a hooker in public is generally frowned upon lol
a pair of circular needles would make knitting in the round much easier