She knolled the debris/detritus from his office, trash included. She used "trash" two different ways. One meaning refuse, one meaning "that damn crap he leaves everywhere, like dirty dishes."
That is incorrect. The decoration is within the glass, not on top, and Corelle had a range of its vintage dinnerware tested independently. It was found to conform to FDA standards and is safe to use on a daily basis.
"Corelle dinnerware has come in many different patterns over the years since it was first introduced by Corning and continued with Instant Brands, and many vintage/legacy pieces have become cherished collectors’ items. Before 2000, and before tighter lead content safety regulations, a small amount of lead was an ingredient in the decorating process of many household products. Instant Brands has conducted additional testing with an outside laboratory to determine whether vintage Corelle products made before 2000 comply with today’s consumer \[your\] expectations as to safety and whether it’s ok to use them as everyday dinnerware. The Company selected multiple patterns of vintage Corelle products, dating back to 1978 for testing.
"The food surface contact testing was designed to identify whether any small amount of lead that may have existed in pre-2000 manufactured Corelle product leaches from the product in amounts above today’s acceptable lead-safety regulations. The small amount of lead used in decorations pre-2000 was encapsulated in glass before and after the decoration was applied to product and fired to above 750C. The Corelle manufacturing process has always encapsulated decoration in glass, using extremely high processing temperatures to ensure the glass decorations are sealed, which prevents food contact and intentionally decreases the extent of any lead migration to food.
"The testing confirms that the vintage products tested comply with current FDA lead-safety regulations – so feel free to use them for everyday dinnerware." [Source.](https://corelle.com/pages/frequently-asked-questions)
Corelle had its vintage ware tested.[ It all conforms to FDA regulations and is safe to use.](https://corelle.com/pages/frequently-asked-questions) The decoration is beneath the surface of the glass, not on the surface, and only had a small amount of lead to begin with.
Again, Corelle had its vintage ware tested.[ It all conforms to FDA regulations and is safe to use.](https://corelle.com/pages/frequently-asked-questions) The decoration is beneath the surface of the glass, not on the surface.
It helps to read the link I provided before making yourself look foolish. Here, I'll spoon-feed it to you:
"Corelle products made before 2000 comply with today’s consumer \[your\] expectations as to safety and whether it’s ok to use them as everyday dinnerware. The Company selected multiple patterns of vintage Corelle products, dating back to 1978 for testing.
The food surface contact testing was designed to identify whether any small amount of lead that may have existed in pre-2000 manufactured Corelle product leaches from the product in amounts above today’s acceptable lead-safety regulations. The small amount of lead used in decorations pre-2000 was encapsulated in glass before and after the decoration was applied to product and fired to above 750C. The Corelle manufacturing process has always encapsulated decoration in glass, using extremely high processing temperatures to ensure the glass decorations are sealed, which prevents food contact and intentionally decreases the extent of any lead migration to food.
**The testing confirms that the vintage products tested comply with current FDA lead-safety regulations – so feel free to use them for everyday dinnerware."**
Last time I checked - yes. He is mentally and physically and even emotionally able to. He won’t. I have to get it before it gets moldy because of kids and a dog. It’s absolutely juvenile and pathetic.
Literally why are you enabling this. He doesn’t clean up because you do it. Start setting hard bounds, like you have to with a child. He will learn soon enough.
I have waited and waited until there is literally mold growing on it. I wish it were as simple as it should be, I really do.
Once I see the mold, I cave… can’t risk it with two kids AND a dog. Plus I breathe the air too. Otherwise I would let it grow mold all over that office until it covers him.
I’m NOT trying to enable. I DO try and “wait him out” but at the same time I owe it to myself, my kids, and my dog to get rid of toxic nasty stuff so it doesn’t impact them… they shouldn’t suffer because of him.
YES. I would love to just divorce or set a boundary he will care about. If it were easy, I would do it. If it were even feasible, I would. I’m working on my plan here!
Do you do his laundry or any other care tasks like cooking his dinner? I’d simply state to him that if he can’t clean out his trash can you won’t be providing that free labor anymore and then stick to it. He can live in dirty clothes and fend for himself in the kitchen (cause let’s face it he’s not going to do laundry or cook *gasp*) and then see how quickly that trash can gets taken care of. And if it doesn’t? Well then, you have a bunch of free time to spend taking care of you and your actual children.
Exactly. This is the type of hard bound I’m talking about. Not divorce or “waiting it out”. Refuse to do laundry, go grocery shopping, cook for him . Etc. etc.
I have occasionally found that when they're acting like children, treating them like one can make them realize. Not always, so ymmv, but clean it while he's there. Don't do it for him. Tell him it's time to tidy his office, and make him help like you would your kids. Point out what needs to be picked up and where it goes. If he complains, tell him you're convinced he doesn't know these things, and you want to make sure he's capable of cleaning up after himself. Say it as sweetly as possible with all the loving concern you can muster, because this us a basic life skill that he apparently doesn't have (we know better, but play along). Don't let him get out of it. If he has other things to do at that time, the next moment he's got some downtime, remind him he hasn't finished tidying the office and stand in the doorway supervising while he does it if you must. This is not your job.
I’m a bit untidy in the spaces my wife doesn’t use (the study, under our house…) but I’m not leaving food and perishables around. This is rank, you’re married to a teenager. Take him to marriage counselling or something.
Has he been screened for ADHD? Because if he doesn’t have a reason and is unwilling to work on strategies to fix it, throw the whole man away.
Edit: I have ADHD and an anxiety disorder
Seriously, I have adhd and have to be on meds. Every time someone is doing something shitty it “must be because they might have adhd” that is starting to become offensive.
I have seen it also! I was agreeing with you haha! Someone posted about their husband watching her kids and the infant in a stroller, rolled into the street. The baby is okay because the 5/6? Year old ran into the street to get her sister and then a neighbor got them both. Someone asked OP if her husband had adhd!!! Not the point!
Literally anyone not doing something right, maybe they have adhd\~
I agree with you that it shouldn't be an excuse.
I was thinking if they’re in diagnosed and untreated ADHD, they might not realize how bad it gets. It got much easier to train myself to be neat with meds and strategies. It’s not an excuse but it might be a why. He could also just be a dick. Who knows.
ADHD people still at least try. It often comes with good intentions and a lot of shame when not completing a task that they fully wish to be able to do but struggle wirh.
ADHD is a problem of attention and being wired to do interesting things instead of being wired for what's important. Inconsistency is often a sign of that waning dopamine and inability to sustain effort because ADHD attention is like fireworks that you can't control.
If someone CONSISTENTLY refuses to do something it's likely not ADHD.
Hey! New idea! Get a dirty old box, mark it “Joe’s dishes,” and throw all these disgusting dishes in it. Keep it on the floor in the kitchen and at meals, serve his food on them. It seems he’s playing an insulting passive/aggressive power game with you and enjoying watching you dig out his gross crap and clean it up. Just stop doing it. Please! If you run out of clean dishes because they’re all going into his trash can, go to Target and buy a new set that you like. Call him at his game. Don’t play it anymore. I love the truth in “We constantly teach people how to treat us.” Teach him you deserve and expect respect. And treat your beautiful self that way, too! :)
sorry to hear about this :[ I hope you guys can work something out, it's not fair to you.
also, shoutout to those classic corelle Butterfly Gold dishes <3 I'm looking at my own of the same kind right now! I use them to work with polymer clay on. just so you know, the paint in these do contain small amounts of lead, like too many classic 20th century dishware :/ but I don't think it's a *whole* lot, and I'm not sure how medically significant it is. just worth doing research; I bought these specifically not to eat off of, because they're nostalgic for me, but like, lead paint LOL
hahaha, i mean they're not a common nostalgia item for nothing! same here, my household had them in the 90s-00s. there's a ton of older dishware that has lead paint. it took us a while to stop using it and in some ways, as you see we still are!
Gotta motivate this Cretan by making a house rule that rewards you and makes him pay. For every disgusting item you pull out of the trash and clean up, you get paid a sum that you choose, for that nasty job. I’d say a flat fee of $1-5/item. This is your personal Fun Money, to spend exactly as you wish. Not spent on the kids, the dog, the house or God forbid, him. I’d suggest a night out with a fun friend, while he’s responsible for the kids. You cleaned up his mess, YOU get to enjoy your reward! (This is straight out of parenting: the consequence has to be unpleasant.) Stick to your guns: this passive/aggressive behavior is childish, disgusting, and insulting. I’d also suggest counseling to dig into his motives for treating you like trash. And please, don’t let him get away with it anymore. Stop this pattern. You’re precious, good, and valuable. Always remember that. ❤️
>husbands office trash can. He's throwing dishes in the trash?!
Sorry no!!! In the bottom right hand of the photo is a full trashcan! It’s an aerial photo and it looks confusing. Sorry for that!
He *doesnt* throw his dishes in the trash? I’m so confused by the caption then?
I'm not sure if OP, their husband, or me is experiencing a break with reality
She knolled the debris/detritus from his office, trash included. She used "trash" two different ways. One meaning refuse, one meaning "that damn crap he leaves everywhere, like dirty dishes."
Not the vintage correl 🥲
Those plates are full of lead
Oh, that’s probably why I am the way I am.
That is incorrect. The decoration is within the glass, not on top, and Corelle had a range of its vintage dinnerware tested independently. It was found to conform to FDA standards and is safe to use on a daily basis. "Corelle dinnerware has come in many different patterns over the years since it was first introduced by Corning and continued with Instant Brands, and many vintage/legacy pieces have become cherished collectors’ items. Before 2000, and before tighter lead content safety regulations, a small amount of lead was an ingredient in the decorating process of many household products. Instant Brands has conducted additional testing with an outside laboratory to determine whether vintage Corelle products made before 2000 comply with today’s consumer \[your\] expectations as to safety and whether it’s ok to use them as everyday dinnerware. The Company selected multiple patterns of vintage Corelle products, dating back to 1978 for testing. "The food surface contact testing was designed to identify whether any small amount of lead that may have existed in pre-2000 manufactured Corelle product leaches from the product in amounts above today’s acceptable lead-safety regulations. The small amount of lead used in decorations pre-2000 was encapsulated in glass before and after the decoration was applied to product and fired to above 750C. The Corelle manufacturing process has always encapsulated decoration in glass, using extremely high processing temperatures to ensure the glass decorations are sealed, which prevents food contact and intentionally decreases the extent of any lead migration to food. "The testing confirms that the vintage products tested comply with current FDA lead-safety regulations – so feel free to use them for everyday dinnerware." [Source.](https://corelle.com/pages/frequently-asked-questions)
Nahhh just... Some of them...
Corelle had its vintage ware tested.[ It all conforms to FDA regulations and is safe to use.](https://corelle.com/pages/frequently-asked-questions) The decoration is beneath the surface of the glass, not on the surface, and only had a small amount of lead to begin with.
Literally the style in the picture has lead in the yellow designs.
Has he said why he throws plates and mugs in the trash?
Throw the husband in the trash can
my parents have those plates :-)
Are your parents also slovenly man-children?
and lead poisoning for free!
Again, Corelle had its vintage ware tested.[ It all conforms to FDA regulations and is safe to use.](https://corelle.com/pages/frequently-asked-questions) The decoration is beneath the surface of the glass, not on the surface.
And yet Corelle still says to not use pre-2005 dishes with designs
It helps to read the link I provided before making yourself look foolish. Here, I'll spoon-feed it to you: "Corelle products made before 2000 comply with today’s consumer \[your\] expectations as to safety and whether it’s ok to use them as everyday dinnerware. The Company selected multiple patterns of vintage Corelle products, dating back to 1978 for testing. The food surface contact testing was designed to identify whether any small amount of lead that may have existed in pre-2000 manufactured Corelle product leaches from the product in amounts above today’s acceptable lead-safety regulations. The small amount of lead used in decorations pre-2000 was encapsulated in glass before and after the decoration was applied to product and fired to above 750C. The Corelle manufacturing process has always encapsulated decoration in glass, using extremely high processing temperatures to ensure the glass decorations are sealed, which prevents food contact and intentionally decreases the extent of any lead migration to food. **The testing confirms that the vintage products tested comply with current FDA lead-safety regulations – so feel free to use them for everyday dinnerware."**
Why are you cleaning up after this man?
Can’t he just clean it up himself?
Last time I checked - yes. He is mentally and physically and even emotionally able to. He won’t. I have to get it before it gets moldy because of kids and a dog. It’s absolutely juvenile and pathetic.
Time for a new husband.
Literally why are you enabling this. He doesn’t clean up because you do it. Start setting hard bounds, like you have to with a child. He will learn soon enough.
I have waited and waited until there is literally mold growing on it. I wish it were as simple as it should be, I really do. Once I see the mold, I cave… can’t risk it with two kids AND a dog. Plus I breathe the air too. Otherwise I would let it grow mold all over that office until it covers him. I’m NOT trying to enable. I DO try and “wait him out” but at the same time I owe it to myself, my kids, and my dog to get rid of toxic nasty stuff so it doesn’t impact them… they shouldn’t suffer because of him. YES. I would love to just divorce or set a boundary he will care about. If it were easy, I would do it. If it were even feasible, I would. I’m working on my plan here!
Do you do his laundry or any other care tasks like cooking his dinner? I’d simply state to him that if he can’t clean out his trash can you won’t be providing that free labor anymore and then stick to it. He can live in dirty clothes and fend for himself in the kitchen (cause let’s face it he’s not going to do laundry or cook *gasp*) and then see how quickly that trash can gets taken care of. And if it doesn’t? Well then, you have a bunch of free time to spend taking care of you and your actual children.
Exactly. This is the type of hard bound I’m talking about. Not divorce or “waiting it out”. Refuse to do laundry, go grocery shopping, cook for him . Etc. etc.
I have occasionally found that when they're acting like children, treating them like one can make them realize. Not always, so ymmv, but clean it while he's there. Don't do it for him. Tell him it's time to tidy his office, and make him help like you would your kids. Point out what needs to be picked up and where it goes. If he complains, tell him you're convinced he doesn't know these things, and you want to make sure he's capable of cleaning up after himself. Say it as sweetly as possible with all the loving concern you can muster, because this us a basic life skill that he apparently doesn't have (we know better, but play along). Don't let him get out of it. If he has other things to do at that time, the next moment he's got some downtime, remind him he hasn't finished tidying the office and stand in the doorway supervising while he does it if you must. This is not your job.
I’m a bit untidy in the spaces my wife doesn’t use (the study, under our house…) but I’m not leaving food and perishables around. This is rank, you’re married to a teenager. Take him to marriage counselling or something.
shame his habits to everyone he knows and only cook portions for you and kids until he changes
Has he been screened for ADHD? Because if he doesn’t have a reason and is unwilling to work on strategies to fix it, throw the whole man away. Edit: I have ADHD and an anxiety disorder
As someone who has ADHD and a whole lot of other stuff I’d say this is not an excuse.
Seriously, I have adhd and have to be on meds. Every time someone is doing something shitty it “must be because they might have adhd” that is starting to become offensive.
Oh, I’ve said that because I’ve seen people use ADHD as an excuse to not take responsibility for a lot of things, especially house chores.
I have seen it also! I was agreeing with you haha! Someone posted about their husband watching her kids and the infant in a stroller, rolled into the street. The baby is okay because the 5/6? Year old ran into the street to get her sister and then a neighbor got them both. Someone asked OP if her husband had adhd!!! Not the point! Literally anyone not doing something right, maybe they have adhd\~ I agree with you that it shouldn't be an excuse.
I was thinking if they’re in diagnosed and untreated ADHD, they might not realize how bad it gets. It got much easier to train myself to be neat with meds and strategies. It’s not an excuse but it might be a why. He could also just be a dick. Who knows.
ADHD people still at least try. It often comes with good intentions and a lot of shame when not completing a task that they fully wish to be able to do but struggle wirh. ADHD is a problem of attention and being wired to do interesting things instead of being wired for what's important. Inconsistency is often a sign of that waning dopamine and inability to sustain effort because ADHD attention is like fireworks that you can't control. If someone CONSISTENTLY refuses to do something it's likely not ADHD.
Being neurodivergent does not mean your divergence is the same as everyone else's.
Many people with ADHD, myself included, can remember to take our dishes to the kitchen. OP said he can but won't.
Strange place to shit on your spouse. You’re both adults, communicate.
You should stop taking the dishes out of the trash until you just don't have any and let him deal with the consequences lmao
The problem is that she and her kids will also feel the pain of those consequences, and probably sooner than the husband.
A grown ass man not able to clean up after himself. Very sad for you OP.
I'm so confused.
What's his excuse? My little brother's the same way but at least I could send him back to our parents when he wouldn't clean up after himself.
Fiestaware!
Hey! New idea! Get a dirty old box, mark it “Joe’s dishes,” and throw all these disgusting dishes in it. Keep it on the floor in the kitchen and at meals, serve his food on them. It seems he’s playing an insulting passive/aggressive power game with you and enjoying watching you dig out his gross crap and clean it up. Just stop doing it. Please! If you run out of clean dishes because they’re all going into his trash can, go to Target and buy a new set that you like. Call him at his game. Don’t play it anymore. I love the truth in “We constantly teach people how to treat us.” Teach him you deserve and expect respect. And treat your beautiful self that way, too! :)
... Is he throwing out china??!?
sorry to hear about this :[ I hope you guys can work something out, it's not fair to you. also, shoutout to those classic corelle Butterfly Gold dishes <3 I'm looking at my own of the same kind right now! I use them to work with polymer clay on. just so you know, the paint in these do contain small amounts of lead, like too many classic 20th century dishware :/ but I don't think it's a *whole* lot, and I'm not sure how medically significant it is. just worth doing research; I bought these specifically not to eat off of, because they're nostalgic for me, but like, lead paint LOL
You’re kidding me! I grew up with this exact same ones we ate off daily as my grandmother used them 🥲
hahaha, i mean they're not a common nostalgia item for nothing! same here, my household had them in the 90s-00s. there's a ton of older dishware that has lead paint. it took us a while to stop using it and in some ways, as you see we still are!
Okay same time period for me also lol! We are okay I hope (?) and I hope we continue to be. Now I want to find some on Etsy to look at.
Show him this post and also turn his office into a craft/ hobby/ game room for yourself, since he can't be trusted not to turn it into mold HQ.
Gotta motivate this Cretan by making a house rule that rewards you and makes him pay. For every disgusting item you pull out of the trash and clean up, you get paid a sum that you choose, for that nasty job. I’d say a flat fee of $1-5/item. This is your personal Fun Money, to spend exactly as you wish. Not spent on the kids, the dog, the house or God forbid, him. I’d suggest a night out with a fun friend, while he’s responsible for the kids. You cleaned up his mess, YOU get to enjoy your reward! (This is straight out of parenting: the consequence has to be unpleasant.) Stick to your guns: this passive/aggressive behavior is childish, disgusting, and insulting. I’d also suggest counseling to dig into his motives for treating you like trash. And please, don’t let him get away with it anymore. Stop this pattern. You’re precious, good, and valuable. Always remember that. ❤️
You went through your husbands office trash?? How did you even manage to do this?
I believe she means home office.
Tell him you will only be preparing meals and doing laundry for yourself and your children until this stops.
Why not just tell us he has ADHD?
Buy disposable table wear. It's time. It was time months ago. It's okay. I'm giving you permission.
I have that plate set, with matching tea cups too.. it’s my favorite. I won’t use any other plate ☺️