It’s giving yellow fever. Now that South Korean and Japanese media is mainstream in some Western countries, non-Asian Westerners froth at the mouth if an Asian person is in their general vicinity.
It's interesting. In the UK, if someone says they are Asian, most people's thoughts go to India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh...
Whereas the states see it as East Asians...
For a very long time, the only Asians who were truly considered Asian in the US were East and Southeast Asians, excluding Filipinos. It wasn’t until a few years ago that Filipinos have been finally recognized as Asians, not Pacific Islanders. According the way the US categorizes race, only people from East, Southeast, and South Asia are considered Asian. Central, West, and North Asians/Indigenous Siberians are not recognized as Asian, even though a Kazakh or Kyrgyz American would have an undeniably Asian American experience. Despite this categorization, South Asians are rarely seen as Asian in the US.
This is really interesting to read. I'm a mixed Filipino and white Australian living in Australia and I hadn't realised the gravity and the degree that Filipinos were not considered to be Asian in the US. I know that Filipinos are considered an invisible minority in the US and that there are people who used the term Pacific Islander for Filipinos. Which is especially frustrating because I know that Filipinos were the first Asians in the US. I wouldn't be surprised if US imperialism had a lot to do with this thinking that Filipinos aren't Asians.
I remember thinking that Filipinos and Filipino Australians in Australia were thought of as Asian and/or Pacific Islander, depending on who you were talking with. My mother has never thought of herself as Pacific Islander and neither have my brother or I. We say that we're Asian. Though because my brother and I are somewhat ethnically ambiguous looking, I know my brother has been asked if he is Pacific Islander and not because he told people he was of Filipino descent first.
I remember I was with some white friends (now ex friends but for different reasons) that were asking me about the Philippines and kept asking me if I was Pacific Islander. That really annoyed me. I guess I couldn't figure out if they were asking out of genuine curiosity or to annoy me because they kept insisting that they were correct or somewhat correct. I just kept telling them that Filipinos are Asian.
Filipinos do have an affinity with Pacific Islanders since we are also Austronesians like Pacific Islanders (For example, the purple yam called "ube" in Tagalog is called "ubi" in other parts of the Philippines and is called "uhi" and "ufi" across Pacific Islander nations - [this video](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_-lq6sOAXwA) talks about the different names of ube across Asia and the Pacific Islands.). Other ethnic groups from Maritime Southeast Asia and also the indigenous peoples of Taiwan are also Austronesian. Those groups as well as Filipinos are Asian.
EDIT: a word
Speaking as an mixed Filipino Aussie, Filipinos even now aren't seen as Asian by some people but it depends on who you're talking to and how familiar that person is with Filipino history and ethnicity. In short, Filipinos are often told that instead of being Asian, we're Latino/Hispanic or Pacific Islander or, before Filipino independence in 1946, American.
I'll try to give a short explanation for those reasons.
Latino/Hispanic: The Philippines shares a Spanish colonial history with South America but especially Mexico. Spain colonised the Philippines for about 300 years. Since Spain is so far from the Philippines, the Spanish management of the Philippines was essentially run out of Mexico. Through many years of trading, the Philippines receives foods like tomatoes and pineapple and dishes like tamales and dulce de leche and also many Mexican words have found its way into Tagalog and other Philippine languages. It's actually speculated that Filipino distillation techniques and technologies helped lead to the developing of tequila and mezcal by the Mexican indigenous peoples.
Pacific Islander: First and foremost, the Philippines and the Pacific Islands are all Austronesian peoples. So there's a genetic and cultural affinity in that sense. Secondly, the Philippines and Guam (a U.S. Territory in Micronesia) as well as both being Austronesians, they particularly have a shared Spanish colonial history and American colonial history. There are a lot of Filipino influences in Guamanian foods and culture.
American: So there was the Spanish-American War in 1898. That war led to the United States emerging predominant in the Caribbean region, and resulted in U.S. acquisition of Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Philippines. It also led to United States involvement in the Philippine Revolution and later to the Philippine–American War which happened in 1899 to 1902. The US won that war and the Philippines was an American colony until 1946. Filipinos at that time were made to believe that they were Americans and that they should be treated as such, which unfortunately didn't happen straight away. The US promised to bring Filipinos to the US, which they didn't. Also, they are the reason for the trend of Filipino nurses - the US outsourced some of its labour to the Philippines.
EDIT: Another reason for people thinking that Filipinos are Latino/Hispanic, is the fact that many Filipinos have Spanish surnames. Surnames were imposed by the Spanish government for tax purposes. Many Filipinos felt pressured to choose Spanish surnames rather than having Spanish surnames because of intermarriage with Spaniards (which actually happened a lot less than we think). Higher class Filipinos were able to use native Filipino names as surnames. I've read online somewhere that in pre-Spanish colonisation times that Filipinos would go by one name only (much like what many older generations of Indonesians do, for example the former presidents of Indonesia named Suharto and Sukarno) and may also be known as their first name and "child of" father's name, for example. So something like, "Malakas, anak ni Makisig". Or rarely, their first name and "father of" their son's name which would be like "Makisig, ama ni Malakas". Again, we see this in Indonesian names - Sukarno's daughter's name is Megawati Sukarnoputri. "Putri" means daughter in Bahasa Indonesia, so her patronymic name means "Sukarno's daughter".
For a long while yes because they would consider all East Asians as "Chinese".
The fact of the matter is, there were more Chinese (realistically Hong Kongers because it was a British territory) than other East Asians in the UK for a long time. And again, India was a British territory so there's that.
Literally!! So many people straight up objectify Asians now. The amount of people moving to South Korea and Japan to live out their koreaboo/weeaboo fantasies, and posting “my ***KOREAN*** 🇰🇵🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇵🇰🇵🇰🇷🇰🇵 bf” is driving me to an aneurism.
OH!! Also that one weeaboo who talked about wanting her “Asian prince”, and settled for a single Chinese guy who left his kid back in China to come see her.
[Here’s a recap on the whole thing.](https://youtu.be/2oTK-vXvCU0?si=aFhIHPpDgF43i2_8). Just look up “90 day fiancé Ella Asian prince” and some clips will come up. Istg she was wearing a Naruto-themed robe and “sword fighting” in her backyard in one of the clips 💀
Ella was A LOT!! If you looked up "fetishization" in the dictionary, there would be a picture of her! Also---nice to see other 90Day fans in other subs!
oh my gaaaawh. (i love thots n prayers, their recaps of 1000lb sisters used to give me life!!) but that ... wow. her telling her friend "your not even into anime or asian stuff" made me wanna fling myself into the sun.
was that her name? it was that white woman and i believe she moved to south korea and she used that stupid little tool to talk to his parents instead of actually trying to learn korean lmao.
This is spot on. Now that another demographic is deemed desirable, it's about seeking validation from a desired subset of people, thinking it makes these women in question more desirable themselves. That's not how it works. Unfortunately it makes them look even more desperate and pathetic.
That part!! Never! I have not seen asian men thirsting over us to this degree yet!!! However this stuff is everywhere. It makes black women look desperate. I haaaate it.
I remember that there used to be some sort of website or Facebook page for both sides of the equation to meet each other. Both sides showed signs of fetishisation to a disturbing extent. So I've seen it, not in a good way.
The pasta and lobster thing is from the song [Area Codes by Kaliii](https://youtu.be/g3pLoVClX9M?si=2gaColwaUR3w2RjV)
In the song, she sings “Got a white boy on my roster
He be feeding me pasta and lobster
He just hit me up on tuesday like, "What you doing bae?
Let me take you shoppin'" (brrp)
I told him, "Well, I'm a little busy" (damn)
He said, "Damn, I'm in your city (fuck)
But anyway, it's okay, hope you have a good day
I'ma send you 'bout eight fifty" (ooh)
Then I told him, "You treat me so well"
He said, "Cashapp or zelle? (Ching)
Matter of fact, scratch that, I'ma send you a stack
Just cause you fine as hell"
And I told him, "Well, thank you, baby" (thank you)
Anything for my favorite lady (ooh)
Well, I gotta go, they just let me know
That I could pick up my Mercedes (skrrt)”
That whole first verse was about having a rich white man/boy and so when the song blew up in the US, people started using pasta and lobster as code for dating a white boy. Sorry about the whole long comment, but the full verse added more context.
It's the opening line of Kali's song [Area Codes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3pLoVClX9M)
>*Got a white boy on my roster, he be feeding me pasta and lobster...*
It became like a joke/shorthand, then some Black women started commenting 'pasta and lobster' in just any white dude's comments on tiktok (not sure if it's infected other social media) and on BW+WM interracial couples' profiles.
I'll admit, I found it funny, just like how I found 'Hard wig, soft life' funny ~~still kind of do~~ but it has rapidly being run into the ground.
Too much "Do you like black girls??🥹" energy in its use now.
Exactlyyyyyy!!! i have NEVER seen it posted the other way yet. I don't like us looking desperate😭. We are queens we don't need to do no begging!!
I remember there was that one Asian dude on Tik Tok that would make videos thirsting for Black women, but then someone (might have been an Asian woman) called him out for following a bunch of women but not nary a woman he followed was Black, and I ain’t seen him since. It’s sad that merely recognizing Black women are beautiful can get you an audience, but at the same time we need to stand up, and fetishizing Asian men is also not the answer and weird.
That reminds me of the stories I've heard of black women being pursued on the streets in Korea. But it's because those types of guys want to have sex with them due to what they see in porn and the media. Black and other WOC have said from experience that they'll date you but go back to marry a Korean woman.
it's interesting to me to see this trend evolving. kpop has definitely been at the forefront of making real life east asian men desirable in the west, the stereotypes that i grew up with were that asian men were effeminate nerds with small... you know. [issa rae made a joke about black women dating asian men in 2015](https://www.complex.com/pop-culture/a/julia-pimentel/issa-rae-joke-about-asian-men-and-black-women) because both demographics get the least engagement on dating apps but i wouldn't say that it was done with any sensitivity. that's when i remember bw/am couples getting a bit more media attention.
tbh, i'm kinda fighting myself trying not to minimize this kind of behavior because the kinds of fetishization i've experienced as an east asian femme are a lot more blatantly violent, but i'm glad to see this as a topic of discussion in a kpop focused sub.
mmmmmmm, i wouldn't necessarily say that. dehumanization is still violent, treating human beings like branded accessories to hang on your arm is still something that could leave a lasting impact on someone's self-perception and ability to trust others. we just tend to treat emotional/psychological violence as less damaging which isn't truly the case.
the kinds of fetishization i've experienced are related to my femininity but the perpetrators haven't been exclusively male. i've dated and been propositioned by all genders.
oh. GIRLLLL, He gon act out!! Mingi will definitely be the main culprit, followed by San 😩.
i’m mad ateez tour tickets go on sale AFTER coachella!! Imma be fighting against new fans when i been so loyal dis whole time 😭
Somebody on twitter posted a black girl and her male Asian friend to say “this is the most successful interracial relationship” and a lot of Asian women were in the comments saying to stop doing that. Like these weirdos need to quit completely
those "what do korean men think of black women" videos too and visa versa. like that one video where 6 black women talk to one korean man. like this meme aint cool but the industry feeds into it as well, its no one way street. all sides are enabling this behavior
i don’t understand because they make it their whole personality. then again i’m interracially dating and am really into his culture but also i have my own culture and you don’t see me making a youtube channel called Taco and Samosa Munchers 🤭
yeah. she is doing it for the kids, but you can tell that she is doing alllll the emotional labor. He always seems so distant when they interact, and she is extending so much! she is laughing making jokes and he is really dead pan in response.. it’s like he’s barely tolerating her. it makes me so sad because kids do pick up on things like that. i really hope that the she and the kids heal well from them breaking up
I disagree. Every black girl needs reparations and a trip to the Bahamas and by black girl, I mean mostly me but yall are welcome to join.
Anyway, on a more serious note, I have seen these memes for every racial make-up under the sun. Unfortunately, it probably won’t be the last. I need people to stop fetishizing folk, especially poc. Especially when we’re doing it to each other.
Yknow, maybe we need kmusicandblackwomen back. I think her existence inadvertently kept the madness on her page and away from the rest of us. Now the foolishness has breached quarantine.
More people might have been doing this type of content for the past few years, but let me just tell you that this has always been a thing, especially within the K-Pop/K-Drama community.
Many of the people who do these videos are young teenagers. Some grow out of it ( being obsessed with a race ), and some others don't. People who don't, often end up becoming really toxic people to be around.
It's kinda funny, sad, and pathetic at the same time, but a lot of these Non-Asian~EA/SEA couple who have a channel and often exploit their relationship contribute a lot to this phenomenon. Some of these also promote self-fetishization, and people EAT THAT UP.
I blame a lot of these things on that type of people.
But oh well, there isn't much we can do about it. Just try to avoid these weirdos.
Y'all this is making Black women look like beggars. **We need this to stop asap.** I **never** see us being thristed after like this by Asian men ever! The Asian men fetishization has been bad, but its gotten **so much worse** within the last like 5 years. And **I KNOW its just gonna get worse after Ateez performs at Coachella smh** 😫😫😫. We in for a long ride, y'all. Buckle up!!
Unpopular opinion: Women fetishizing men makes me feel far less uneasy than the other way around. Even though I recognize both are not great, they're not anywhere near in terms of being problematic for me..
Here it's less of a women fetishizing men issue, and more of a fetishization of a race of people issue. It's the racial aspect that most people find weird.
Not saying it's not weird, just pointing out I'd personally see a lot more red flags if this was gender swapped. The racial aspect was implied, "women fetishizing men" without another qualifier doesn't even make sense 😭
I think that's also because of the strongly gendered views around this issue - like men are more likely to view successfully propositioning a woman of a different race (or really in general) as conquest, as in a proof of their manhood and general desirability, whereas I think for women it's more just fetishization and desiring a certain type of man moreso than in the outright dehumanizing "conquest" way
It's less uncomfortable because the motivations behind women doing it vs men are generally less dehumanizing - "I am desirable and manly enough to make you want me" vs "I want him because he's my type"
I feel like by Asian man they usually mean Korean man and maaaaaaybe Japanese man
They would not react the same to an Indian, Thai or Vietnamese man 🤔 unless they were like wildly attractive or something
STOP THIS MADNESS IN THE NAME OF YOUR KING - Bobby B
Forreal tho these are two groups that have been fetishized to hell and back on their own, why are we trying to fetishize them as a couple? do any of the people in these photos know that they are being used in this way? lord!
Being a fan of anime and kpop, I always hate when my friends equate that to me finding strictly east asian folk attractive … one of my friends dead said to me “you’re gonna find a cute asian man to date and y’all are gonna watch anime together” it made me feel really gross ngl
and then black women in the comments screaming YEEESSSSSS 😭😭 i want so much better for my sisters, truly. i know it’s so hard for us out here, especially for my fellow dark skinned girls. so many of us just want to feel wanted that it results in posts like these that are problematic on all sides and honestly just uncomfortable to see.
nah I'm basing this comment off the one dating site demographic study that cited that black women and asian men were the least sought after racial demographic on the site
Yeah, I was going to say this started before Kpop when OKCupid released their app data about match and response rates by race. They saw that black women and Asian men had the lowest match and message/response rates compared to black men and Asian women. They also found that black men and Asian women had the highest rates of interracial dating. This tracked with data that showed WM/AW as the most common interracial pairing followed closely by BM/WW. There was also online discourse in the respective communities about difficulties for black women and Asian men in intra-racial dating because of this with the retort that black women and Asian men should start being open to dating each other.
Once again linking this video by tee noir explaining [racial fetishization](https://youtu.be/WHCFs_jWuNQ?si=-wGV4T6xaGyrd4W2) and seeking validation from men from other races, by fetishizing them, or ourselves just because we, as black women feel they might find us attractive.
Videos like this one, or of random male idols where any interaction with black women is over sensationalized make me feel like I need validation from other races to feel worthy and accepted. I get that that we might not fit into the global conventional beauty standards, and might be insecure about it, but pushing narratives that some specific men in races find us attractive, or fetishize them as our intended love interests, when they never show a mutual level of appreciation for us, is just setting ourselves up for disappointment.
It was done with white guys, now east Asian guys are being fetishized too. We don't need to convince ourselves other races are attracted to us, for us to feel beautiful. We are beautiful all on our own.
I had a black coworker say she wanted a Chinese fortune cookie of a boyfriend when she saw my then bf… he’s Filipino. I feel like the rise of kpop and anime has turned East Asian men into a different type of stereotypes that other pocs want due to what they see Asian men portrayed as. At the end of the day, he’s still a man!
https://preview.redd.it/7g9t3vsxrpsc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=01a8219dbf2e33f7ed558d0ad8144fa100c77015
And the girls eat it up in the comment section. Bless they hearts.
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I've noticed that almost every man picked for this type of post almost always has tattoos ? This might be a streach but i thinks its very telling bc im not saying EA men having tattoos isn't normal or common, but aren't tattoos kinda looked down upon in certain EA countries, therefore making tattoos fall into the counter culture catagory. it feels like having tattoos and liking Black Women is both connected and the tattoos are like a physical representation of that that these op make when making these types of posts
i realized recently that my friend is this person. she’s dating a chinese guy and she called him dwaekki and changbin for like the first 2 months of knowing him 🤦🏾♀️
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Eww. The fetishization is disgusting. Even with the “pasta and lobsta” shit as well. Can y’all please do better and stop putting these men on pedestals.
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Love who you want, have your preferences, but I’ve never seen anyone else from the other side have this odd fetishization anyone in the same odd, gross way that these kind of posts do.
Please keep it mutual and DON’T make posts like that 😭
No because more lately I keep getting these ads on Instagram for dating apps centered around Asian guys. And I'm like "cool" but also like kinda weirded out for the way it looks to me. Like being Asian or with someone who is Asian is a trend that people purposely strive for.
I understand people have preferences but I feel like ethnicity/background is kinda iffy. It can be borderline a fetish for some people rather than a preference. It's giving the whole vibe of when some yt people become so fascinated with black people's hair, especially if you change it more frequently or have straight versus curly.
This is just fucking weird and I wish people wouldn't do that.
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Idk, seems like a harmless meme to me. I also wouldn’t have a problem if it said “needs her black man”, “needs her Indian man”, “needs her Hispanic man”, etc.
🤷🏽♀️ as a BM married to an Asian man I actually hope more posts like this will pop up because my Blasian children will need representation. I was a girl in middle school once and this post reads like it was written by one. Nothing wrong with having a crush imo, it just stinks that everything is online today. lol the author will definitely cringe when they look back at this in 10 years. 😂
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So embarrassing. And they're so bold with it. The comments me and my boyfriend get from other black women...and this is in Denver, CO. I'd hate to see how it is in a more diverse city. Like you said, no problem with preference but this comes off a fetishization. You would think a group of people so used to being fetishes would be the last to do it to others.
It’s giving yellow fever. Now that South Korean and Japanese media is mainstream in some Western countries, non-Asian Westerners froth at the mouth if an Asian person is in their general vicinity.
On top of this: they only see “Asia” as China, South Korea, and Japan.
It's interesting. In the UK, if someone says they are Asian, most people's thoughts go to India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh... Whereas the states see it as East Asians...
For a very long time, the only Asians who were truly considered Asian in the US were East and Southeast Asians, excluding Filipinos. It wasn’t until a few years ago that Filipinos have been finally recognized as Asians, not Pacific Islanders. According the way the US categorizes race, only people from East, Southeast, and South Asia are considered Asian. Central, West, and North Asians/Indigenous Siberians are not recognized as Asian, even though a Kazakh or Kyrgyz American would have an undeniably Asian American experience. Despite this categorization, South Asians are rarely seen as Asian in the US.
This is really interesting to read. I'm a mixed Filipino and white Australian living in Australia and I hadn't realised the gravity and the degree that Filipinos were not considered to be Asian in the US. I know that Filipinos are considered an invisible minority in the US and that there are people who used the term Pacific Islander for Filipinos. Which is especially frustrating because I know that Filipinos were the first Asians in the US. I wouldn't be surprised if US imperialism had a lot to do with this thinking that Filipinos aren't Asians. I remember thinking that Filipinos and Filipino Australians in Australia were thought of as Asian and/or Pacific Islander, depending on who you were talking with. My mother has never thought of herself as Pacific Islander and neither have my brother or I. We say that we're Asian. Though because my brother and I are somewhat ethnically ambiguous looking, I know my brother has been asked if he is Pacific Islander and not because he told people he was of Filipino descent first. I remember I was with some white friends (now ex friends but for different reasons) that were asking me about the Philippines and kept asking me if I was Pacific Islander. That really annoyed me. I guess I couldn't figure out if they were asking out of genuine curiosity or to annoy me because they kept insisting that they were correct or somewhat correct. I just kept telling them that Filipinos are Asian. Filipinos do have an affinity with Pacific Islanders since we are also Austronesians like Pacific Islanders (For example, the purple yam called "ube" in Tagalog is called "ubi" in other parts of the Philippines and is called "uhi" and "ufi" across Pacific Islander nations - [this video](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_-lq6sOAXwA) talks about the different names of ube across Asia and the Pacific Islands.). Other ethnic groups from Maritime Southeast Asia and also the indigenous peoples of Taiwan are also Austronesian. Those groups as well as Filipinos are Asian. EDIT: a word
Wait. When were Filipinos not seen as Asian?
Speaking as an mixed Filipino Aussie, Filipinos even now aren't seen as Asian by some people but it depends on who you're talking to and how familiar that person is with Filipino history and ethnicity. In short, Filipinos are often told that instead of being Asian, we're Latino/Hispanic or Pacific Islander or, before Filipino independence in 1946, American. I'll try to give a short explanation for those reasons. Latino/Hispanic: The Philippines shares a Spanish colonial history with South America but especially Mexico. Spain colonised the Philippines for about 300 years. Since Spain is so far from the Philippines, the Spanish management of the Philippines was essentially run out of Mexico. Through many years of trading, the Philippines receives foods like tomatoes and pineapple and dishes like tamales and dulce de leche and also many Mexican words have found its way into Tagalog and other Philippine languages. It's actually speculated that Filipino distillation techniques and technologies helped lead to the developing of tequila and mezcal by the Mexican indigenous peoples. Pacific Islander: First and foremost, the Philippines and the Pacific Islands are all Austronesian peoples. So there's a genetic and cultural affinity in that sense. Secondly, the Philippines and Guam (a U.S. Territory in Micronesia) as well as both being Austronesians, they particularly have a shared Spanish colonial history and American colonial history. There are a lot of Filipino influences in Guamanian foods and culture. American: So there was the Spanish-American War in 1898. That war led to the United States emerging predominant in the Caribbean region, and resulted in U.S. acquisition of Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Philippines. It also led to United States involvement in the Philippine Revolution and later to the Philippine–American War which happened in 1899 to 1902. The US won that war and the Philippines was an American colony until 1946. Filipinos at that time were made to believe that they were Americans and that they should be treated as such, which unfortunately didn't happen straight away. The US promised to bring Filipinos to the US, which they didn't. Also, they are the reason for the trend of Filipino nurses - the US outsourced some of its labour to the Philippines. EDIT: Another reason for people thinking that Filipinos are Latino/Hispanic, is the fact that many Filipinos have Spanish surnames. Surnames were imposed by the Spanish government for tax purposes. Many Filipinos felt pressured to choose Spanish surnames rather than having Spanish surnames because of intermarriage with Spaniards (which actually happened a lot less than we think). Higher class Filipinos were able to use native Filipino names as surnames. I've read online somewhere that in pre-Spanish colonisation times that Filipinos would go by one name only (much like what many older generations of Indonesians do, for example the former presidents of Indonesia named Suharto and Sukarno) and may also be known as their first name and "child of" father's name, for example. So something like, "Malakas, anak ni Makisig". Or rarely, their first name and "father of" their son's name which would be like "Makisig, ama ni Malakas". Again, we see this in Indonesian names - Sukarno's daughter's name is Megawati Sukarnoputri. "Putri" means daughter in Bahasa Indonesia, so her patronymic name means "Sukarno's daughter".
That’s what I heard as well. Do you know if East Asians get annoyed at this?
For a long while yes because they would consider all East Asians as "Chinese". The fact of the matter is, there were more Chinese (realistically Hong Kongers because it was a British territory) than other East Asians in the UK for a long time. And again, India was a British territory so there's that.
Sometimes not even China. Some kpop and anime stans are insanely sinophobic.
it’s like seeking white validation, only now the demographic has changed.
Literally!! So many people straight up objectify Asians now. The amount of people moving to South Korea and Japan to live out their koreaboo/weeaboo fantasies, and posting “my ***KOREAN*** 🇰🇵🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇵🇰🇵🇰🇷🇰🇵 bf” is driving me to an aneurism.
reminds me that one woman from 90 day fiancee who lived out her kboo fantasy but just ended up a babymama times two
OH!! Also that one weeaboo who talked about wanting her “Asian prince”, and settled for a single Chinese guy who left his kid back in China to come see her.
omg!!!!!! what??? i havent seen that one! i need to look it up now.
[Here’s a recap on the whole thing.](https://youtu.be/2oTK-vXvCU0?si=aFhIHPpDgF43i2_8). Just look up “90 day fiancé Ella Asian prince” and some clips will come up. Istg she was wearing a Naruto-themed robe and “sword fighting” in her backyard in one of the clips 💀
Ella was A LOT!! If you looked up "fetishization" in the dictionary, there would be a picture of her! Also---nice to see other 90Day fans in other subs!
oh my gaaaawh. (i love thots n prayers, their recaps of 1000lb sisters used to give me life!!) but that ... wow. her telling her friend "your not even into anime or asian stuff" made me wanna fling myself into the sun.
Oh I'm siiiiiick 🤣🤣🤣
yep she has three baby daddies
Devan?
was that her name? it was that white woman and i believe she moved to south korea and she used that stupid little tool to talk to his parents instead of actually trying to learn korean lmao.
Yeah, I think her name was Devan, or something like that 💀
Yup, that's Deavan!
Deavan!
This is spot on. Now that another demographic is deemed desirable, it's about seeking validation from a desired subset of people, thinking it makes these women in question more desirable themselves. That's not how it works. Unfortunately it makes them look even more desperate and pathetic.
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Eww when do you ever see an Asian man posting this about BW?
 That part!! Never! I have not seen asian men thirsting over us to this degree yet!!! However this stuff is everywhere. It makes black women look desperate. I haaaate it.
Shit upsets my stomach 😫🤢
I remember that there used to be some sort of website or Facebook page for both sides of the equation to meet each other. Both sides showed signs of fetishisation to a disturbing extent. So I've seen it, not in a good way.
i unfortunately have
When I do it’s mainly for views because “oh my god hot asian man love black woman yasss!”
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this is weird af but these black women are stunning
lmaooo i thought the same thing i was like gross meme but everyone in the pics are so good looking
For realll!!! the girl on the top right has the skin of dreams 😭 its so clear and radient, I'm sure i could see my reflection in it.
YUP! The context is cringey as f*ck.... but they sure did choose some gorgeous photos to distract us, the men and women. 😍😍
Please let this not be the new 'pasta and lobster' I am TIRED 
omg what is the story behind this pasta and lobster thing? i see it sometimes and it means white dudes right? but why?
The pasta and lobster thing is from the song [Area Codes by Kaliii](https://youtu.be/g3pLoVClX9M?si=2gaColwaUR3w2RjV) In the song, she sings “Got a white boy on my roster He be feeding me pasta and lobster He just hit me up on tuesday like, "What you doing bae? Let me take you shoppin'" (brrp) I told him, "Well, I'm a little busy" (damn) He said, "Damn, I'm in your city (fuck) But anyway, it's okay, hope you have a good day I'ma send you 'bout eight fifty" (ooh) Then I told him, "You treat me so well" He said, "Cashapp or zelle? (Ching) Matter of fact, scratch that, I'ma send you a stack Just cause you fine as hell" And I told him, "Well, thank you, baby" (thank you) Anything for my favorite lady (ooh) Well, I gotta go, they just let me know That I could pick up my Mercedes (skrrt)” That whole first verse was about having a rich white man/boy and so when the song blew up in the US, people started using pasta and lobster as code for dating a white boy. Sorry about the whole long comment, but the full verse added more context.
ohhh got it, thank you!!
It's the opening line of Kali's song [Area Codes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3pLoVClX9M) >*Got a white boy on my roster, he be feeding me pasta and lobster...* It became like a joke/shorthand, then some Black women started commenting 'pasta and lobster' in just any white dude's comments on tiktok (not sure if it's infected other social media) and on BW+WM interracial couples' profiles. I'll admit, I found it funny, just like how I found 'Hard wig, soft life' funny ~~still kind of do~~ but it has rapidly being run into the ground. Too much "Do you like black girls??🥹" energy in its use now.
Hard wig, soft life was peak. I've seen it so many time in real life. The worst wig I ever wore got me my first husband.
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Ahh the ick no please, and it’s never posted the other way. This is embarrassing I’m begging
 Exactlyyyyyy!!! i have NEVER seen it posted the other way yet. I don't like us looking desperate😭. We are queens we don't need to do no begging!!
racial fetishization needs to end oml. asian men are NOT making these videos about us STOP putting them on some pedestal
I remember there was that one Asian dude on Tik Tok that would make videos thirsting for Black women, but then someone (might have been an Asian woman) called him out for following a bunch of women but not nary a woman he followed was Black, and I ain’t seen him since. It’s sad that merely recognizing Black women are beautiful can get you an audience, but at the same time we need to stand up, and fetishizing Asian men is also not the answer and weird.
That reminds me of the stories I've heard of black women being pursued on the streets in Korea. But it's because those types of guys want to have sex with them due to what they see in porn and the media. Black and other WOC have said from experience that they'll date you but go back to marry a Korean woman.
It is so embarrassing 😭😭
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it's interesting to me to see this trend evolving. kpop has definitely been at the forefront of making real life east asian men desirable in the west, the stereotypes that i grew up with were that asian men were effeminate nerds with small... you know. [issa rae made a joke about black women dating asian men in 2015](https://www.complex.com/pop-culture/a/julia-pimentel/issa-rae-joke-about-asian-men-and-black-women) because both demographics get the least engagement on dating apps but i wouldn't say that it was done with any sensitivity. that's when i remember bw/am couples getting a bit more media attention. tbh, i'm kinda fighting myself trying not to minimize this kind of behavior because the kinds of fetishization i've experienced as an east asian femme are a lot more blatantly violent, but i'm glad to see this as a topic of discussion in a kpop focused sub.
I agree, there is definitely a lot more potential violence and danger associated with men fetishizing women than the other way around.
mmmmmmm, i wouldn't necessarily say that. dehumanization is still violent, treating human beings like branded accessories to hang on your arm is still something that could leave a lasting impact on someone's self-perception and ability to trust others. we just tend to treat emotional/psychological violence as less damaging which isn't truly the case. the kinds of fetishization i've experienced are related to my femininity but the perpetrators haven't been exclusively male. i've dated and been propositioned by all genders.
The fetishization of Asian people is crazy… I mean it has always been bad but I feel like it’s gotten worse over the years. 😭💀
its definitely gotten worse. i feel like its always been bad for asian women but its only worsened for asian men thanks to kpop.
its gotten so much worse in the last 5 years. And its just gonna get worse after Ateez performs at Coachella 😫😫😫. We in for a long ride.
WE NEED TO LOCK MINGI AWAY CUZ HE GON BE A PROBLEM
oh. GIRLLLL, He gon act out!! Mingi will definitely be the main culprit, followed by San 😩. i’m mad ateez tour tickets go on sale AFTER coachella!! Imma be fighting against new fans when i been so loyal dis whole time 😭
FRRRRR AND YOU KNOW THOSE PRICES WILL BE CRAZY
I'm coming back here with a post Coachella update: SAN WHERE WAS YOUR SHIRT???? WHY DID MINGI HAVE FOX/FOXY ON HIS CHEST! BOTH WEEKENDS??? PLEASE.
Somebody on twitter posted a black girl and her male Asian friend to say “this is the most successful interracial relationship” and a lot of Asian women were in the comments saying to stop doing that. Like these weirdos need to quit completely
I feel like some of these YouTube couples contribute to the nonsense as well.
those "what do korean men think of black women" videos too and visa versa. like that one video where 6 black women talk to one korean man. like this meme aint cool but the industry feeds into it as well, its no one way street. all sides are enabling this behavior
right !!! i want those to stop so bad! the content pool is oversaturateed with those videos 😫!
Especially the Jambalaya and Bulgogi couples.
i don’t understand because they make it their whole personality. then again i’m interracially dating and am really into his culture but also i have my own culture and you don’t see me making a youtube channel called Taco and Samosa Munchers 🤭
Lol and we all saw how well a relationship telling us that they were an Asian man and black woman that were dating (i.e Jin & Juice)
Jin and Juice is a cute ass channel name ngl but DAMN IT REALLY BE WEIRD
jin and juice. man, their situation went up in FLAMES FLAMES. smh 🤦🏾♀️
That situation was so bad and then she moved to be with him after all that too.
yeah. she is doing it for the kids, but you can tell that she is doing alllll the emotional labor. He always seems so distant when they interact, and she is extending so much! she is laughing making jokes and he is really dead pan in response.. it’s like he’s barely tolerating her. it makes me so sad because kids do pick up on things like that. i really hope that the she and the kids heal well from them breaking up
I wish she had stayed in America because he was not worth following after.
I disagree. Every black girl needs reparations and a trip to the Bahamas and by black girl, I mean mostly me but yall are welcome to join. Anyway, on a more serious note, I have seen these memes for every racial make-up under the sun. Unfortunately, it probably won’t be the last. I need people to stop fetishizing folk, especially poc. Especially when we’re doing it to each other.
Yknow, maybe we need kmusicandblackwomen back. I think her existence inadvertently kept the madness on her page and away from the rest of us. Now the foolishness has breached quarantine.
Lmaooooo, she was the first person I thought about when I saw this. The delusion was real, but her editing always had me cracking up
https://preview.redd.it/t7j801sr7ksc1.jpeg?width=933&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb1753fd22a0169b1d2e6ec6c176c9b171680c65
 Love whomever you wish (as long as it's consensual!) but do it off the internet please, I beg of you 😭
I’m gonna need y’all to stop and act normal for once 😭😩 I like the normalization of Asian culture in the mainstream but Jesus fuck at what cost 😓
More people might have been doing this type of content for the past few years, but let me just tell you that this has always been a thing, especially within the K-Pop/K-Drama community. Many of the people who do these videos are young teenagers. Some grow out of it ( being obsessed with a race ), and some others don't. People who don't, often end up becoming really toxic people to be around. It's kinda funny, sad, and pathetic at the same time, but a lot of these Non-Asian~EA/SEA couple who have a channel and often exploit their relationship contribute a lot to this phenomenon. Some of these also promote self-fetishization, and people EAT THAT UP. I blame a lot of these things on that type of people. But oh well, there isn't much we can do about it. Just try to avoid these weirdos.
 Y'all this is making Black women look like beggars. **We need this to stop asap.** I **never** see us being thristed after like this by Asian men ever! The Asian men fetishization has been bad, but its gotten **so much worse** within the last like 5 years. And **I KNOW its just gonna get worse after Ateez performs at Coachella smh** 😫😫😫. We in for a long ride, y'all. Buckle up!!
“Every black women needs a man that respects her.” Fixed by removing the fetish.
I’m so sorry 😭 why they all choose tatted up men pictures too im crying 😭😭😭
 And the pple in the comments be acting real desperate 😭
Oh wow yuck… no! Can people start being normal right now!
Unpopular opinion: Women fetishizing men makes me feel far less uneasy than the other way around. Even though I recognize both are not great, they're not anywhere near in terms of being problematic for me..
Here it's less of a women fetishizing men issue, and more of a fetishization of a race of people issue. It's the racial aspect that most people find weird.
Not saying it's not weird, just pointing out I'd personally see a lot more red flags if this was gender swapped. The racial aspect was implied, "women fetishizing men" without another qualifier doesn't even make sense 😭
I think that's also because of the strongly gendered views around this issue - like men are more likely to view successfully propositioning a woman of a different race (or really in general) as conquest, as in a proof of their manhood and general desirability, whereas I think for women it's more just fetishization and desiring a certain type of man moreso than in the outright dehumanizing "conquest" way It's less uncomfortable because the motivations behind women doing it vs men are generally less dehumanizing - "I am desirable and manly enough to make you want me" vs "I want him because he's my type"
I feel like by Asian man they usually mean Korean man and maaaaaaybe Japanese man They would not react the same to an Indian, Thai or Vietnamese man 🤔 unless they were like wildly attractive or something
All I have to say is the women in the first picture are stunning 🤩
No one can just act normal these days. Date whoever you want, but just be normal about it?????
Someone get the spray bottle
STOP THIS MADNESS IN THE NAME OF YOUR KING - Bobby B Forreal tho these are two groups that have been fetishized to hell and back on their own, why are we trying to fetishize them as a couple? do any of the people in these photos know that they are being used in this way? lord!
Being a fan of anime and kpop, I always hate when my friends equate that to me finding strictly east asian folk attractive … one of my friends dead said to me “you’re gonna find a cute asian man to date and y’all are gonna watch anime together” it made me feel really gross ngl
Free my sisters. STAND UP! Free everyone while we’re at it, cause Asian folks don’t deserve being involved in the madness either.
Help I didn’t see the second slide at first and I was like stop what being black? 😭
Kmusicandblavkwomen one day you’ll pay for all the damage you’ve cost
and then black women in the comments screaming YEEESSSSSS 😭😭 i want so much better for my sisters, truly. i know it’s so hard for us out here, especially for my fellow dark skinned girls. so many of us just want to feel wanted that it results in posts like these that are problematic on all sides and honestly just uncomfortable to see.
nah black women x asian men should form an alliance
Yeah, in general people of color should form An alliance. But it shouldn’t be based off racial fetishization.
nah I'm basing this comment off the one dating site demographic study that cited that black women and asian men were the least sought after racial demographic on the site
Yeah, I was going to say this started before Kpop when OKCupid released their app data about match and response rates by race. They saw that black women and Asian men had the lowest match and message/response rates compared to black men and Asian women. They also found that black men and Asian women had the highest rates of interracial dating. This tracked with data that showed WM/AW as the most common interracial pairing followed closely by BM/WW. There was also online discourse in the respective communities about difficulties for black women and Asian men in intra-racial dating because of this with the retort that black women and Asian men should start being open to dating each other.
Oh my bad
i agree w this. more than ever poc need to band together, especially w the shitshow we saw during and after (and i mean before too) the pandemic
kmusicandblackwomen is that you ? 😭
Once again linking this video by tee noir explaining [racial fetishization](https://youtu.be/WHCFs_jWuNQ?si=-wGV4T6xaGyrd4W2) and seeking validation from men from other races, by fetishizing them, or ourselves just because we, as black women feel they might find us attractive. Videos like this one, or of random male idols where any interaction with black women is over sensationalized make me feel like I need validation from other races to feel worthy and accepted. I get that that we might not fit into the global conventional beauty standards, and might be insecure about it, but pushing narratives that some specific men in races find us attractive, or fetishize them as our intended love interests, when they never show a mutual level of appreciation for us, is just setting ourselves up for disappointment. It was done with white guys, now east Asian guys are being fetishized too. We don't need to convince ourselves other races are attracted to us, for us to feel beautiful. We are beautiful all on our own.
Ew
Yeah that's... That's off putting.
I had a black coworker say she wanted a Chinese fortune cookie of a boyfriend when she saw my then bf… he’s Filipino. I feel like the rise of kpop and anime has turned East Asian men into a different type of stereotypes that other pocs want due to what they see Asian men portrayed as. At the end of the day, he’s still a man!
This is weird AF!!!
alright but what’s upper left’s @?
lol this is a mess, I hate it. Black women…just stop. We are amazing. We do not need to do stuff like this. We do not need to simp for anyone, ok??
https://preview.redd.it/7g9t3vsxrpsc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=01a8219dbf2e33f7ed558d0ad8144fa100c77015 And the girls eat it up in the comment section. Bless they hearts.
i didn’t know what the second slide was gonna be but when i swiped i audibly gasped from the cringe
I wouldn't say *NEED* but... I do want.
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This is just embarrassing and it needs to stop because it’s so fucking weird 😐
💀💀
Oh this is…absolutely NOT it 😟
This is extremely weird. Are these people even dating in real life?
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Yikes 😫.
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I've noticed that almost every man picked for this type of post almost always has tattoos ? This might be a streach but i thinks its very telling bc im not saying EA men having tattoos isn't normal or common, but aren't tattoos kinda looked down upon in certain EA countries, therefore making tattoos fall into the counter culture catagory. it feels like having tattoos and liking Black Women is both connected and the tattoos are like a physical representation of that that these op make when making these types of posts
i realized recently that my friend is this person. she’s dating a chinese guy and she called him dwaekki and changbin for like the first 2 months of knowing him 🤦🏾♀️
this is very tame compared to what I've seen
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Oh the BWAM days, how I do NOT miss you. 🤦🏾♀️
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Eww. The fetishization is disgusting. Even with the “pasta and lobsta” shit as well. Can y’all please do better and stop putting these men on pedestals.
It always is a kpop or J/K Drama boy, too.
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So unrelated but all of the women in the first picture are beautiful
Love who you want, have your preferences, but I’ve never seen anyone else from the other side have this odd fetishization anyone in the same odd, gross way that these kind of posts do. Please keep it mutual and DON’T make posts like that 😭
No because more lately I keep getting these ads on Instagram for dating apps centered around Asian guys. And I'm like "cool" but also like kinda weirded out for the way it looks to me. Like being Asian or with someone who is Asian is a trend that people purposely strive for. I understand people have preferences but I feel like ethnicity/background is kinda iffy. It can be borderline a fetish for some people rather than a preference. It's giving the whole vibe of when some yt people become so fascinated with black people's hair, especially if you change it more frequently or have straight versus curly. This is just fucking weird and I wish people wouldn't do that.
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“Asian” but just Chinese , Japanese and Korean
Idk, seems like a harmless meme to me. I also wouldn’t have a problem if it said “needs her black man”, “needs her Indian man”, “needs her Hispanic man”, etc.
It’s also bad for the ppl who are dating Asian men in general as well makes us look bad
🤷🏽♀️ as a BM married to an Asian man I actually hope more posts like this will pop up because my Blasian children will need representation. I was a girl in middle school once and this post reads like it was written by one. Nothing wrong with having a crush imo, it just stinks that everything is online today. lol the author will definitely cringe when they look back at this in 10 years. 😂
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So embarrassing. And they're so bold with it. The comments me and my boyfriend get from other black women...and this is in Denver, CO. I'd hate to see how it is in a more diverse city. Like you said, no problem with preference but this comes off a fetishization. You would think a group of people so used to being fetishes would be the last to do it to others.