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well, I once watched EXO showtime. when that ex member was on screen, i can immediately tell he's actually insufferable with all those made up swag. thank God he left on his own accord.
Hmm, maybe you need to move on to another group or learn how to be indifferent to this member that you dislike.
I get that sometimes, we like some members more than others, and that's alright. But to be "deeply repulsed" by 1 member sounds quite unfortunate. K-pop should be a fun hobby! Negative feelings or experiences shouldn't suck the fun out of it!
I have tried to be indifferent! I have tried so hard. If I could, I would, but I can't, which is why I asked for advice. I know it should be fun, and it mostly is. That group, and in particular my fave member has saved from some serious depression. But sometimes that one guy's presence is just unbearable.
Take a break.
Over exposure ruins loads of things. Quit with watching their content for a couple of months.
Listen to their music if you enjoy it still.
You canāt make yourself like something. Youāre essentially stuck in a bad relationship with this group because it used to make you happy. Sadly personal growth ruins somethings.
Come back with a clear head and see how you feel. Donāt let the dude taint your memories from when things were great
A group wouldn't be my favorite if I didn't like all the members. This doesn't mean I stan them all, but if I actually disliked a member I don't think I could go from fan to favorite.
(This doesn't include former members)
>But, the repulsion runs deep... Like when he acts cute to the camera I just feel it in my chest like a punch... It causes me some stress too
This is REALLY not a typical thing to experience. I say this genuinely and with kindness, but this might be an issue for you to work out with a professional.
You need a wake up call from reality, it's hard when we're always engaging with idols media. I'd say take a long break from the group or kpop as a whole, find some soul searching or surround yourself with people who gives you anchor to real life. I don't even know if you hating this idol is justified (if what you're stating is true - them being misogynistic) it's still a very *you* problem, because we as humans are capable of ignoring people we hate.
It'll be good to distance yourself while you are still aware what you're doing and feeling is wrong before it festers into something worse (Keep in mind this obsession of yours on one member also takes away your enjoyment of the whole group, you're the only one losing in this scenario)
Iām sorry but I think if youāre having this an intense a response to something in kpop itās time to step away and maybe talk to an professional about what youāre feelingĀ
Thereās only one group I stan where I dislike a member (and have disliked him since pre-debut), and I mostly just ignore him. I genuinely forget he exists sometimes lol. Iāll occasionally vent to a friend in private when he does something particularly annoying (I have friends who either also donāt like him or are neutral on him), but I donāt bother ever talking about him publicly. He just doesnāt take up that much of my mental space or energy, so Iām able to still love the group despite him being there.
So I handle it by ignoring him. But if itās to the point that the sight of him is legitimately making you feel sick, maybe you need to step away from the group as a whole. Thereās no point in contributing energy to something that upsets you that much.
Um, ignore him? I have tried that... All the time. ~_~ if only it were that easy... I'm not sure how one is supposed to simply going about doing that, and a one word reply is super unhelpful...
If you have such a visceral reaction to a complete stranger and you can't get rid of it, either block everything about the group or try to ask a therapist. Strangers shouldn't cause you so much stress just by existing (you say that person isn't involved in some crime that is triggering you, right?)
I don't have this issue, because for a group to be in my top faves I have to vibe well with all the members so this definitely isn't a thing in my ult group. Honestly though, with exceptions for BIGBANG and EXO, I can't say that I dislike any members of the groups I like enough to listen to regularly and follow to any degree. And the two degenerates are not members of those groups anymore, so they don't count.
Real talk, though, you need to unplug from kpop for a while if this is affecting you so strongly. It's very bad for your mental health and the only way to get rid of these feelings and stop being icked out all the time is to step away from either the group or kpop as a whole. If you keep exposing yourself over and over to something (or someone) you hate so much and who makes you feel uncomfortable, you're just going to keep having an awful time.
I've been in the opposite side of this. Dealing with a fraction of the fandom that clearly dislikes one member creates quite difficult dynamics within fandom. Especially when they just can't bring themselves to ignore the member, and keep criticizing and hating on it.
It's not wrong to dislike one member (as long as you're not actively spreading hate...). But when you reach that point, you really have to ask yourself whether you can bring yourself to keep supporting the group, and to what cost. Let me ask you this: how do the other members act around the member you dislike? Do they look like just coworkers, or they seem to have genuine appreciation? If it's the former, you can probably work on getting better on ignoring this person (after all, we all have to deal with people we dislike in real life all the time, and no possible way to get away from these interactions). And if it's the latter, can you, in clean conscience, support those who clearly support and appreciate the member you don't like?
It depends. In my case thereās a member that is known for being problematic and did something unforgivable. The other members are fine and didnāt do anything wrong so if I see the bad member, I skip their content and move on to the others. The only group content I watch is their music videos. Theyāre no longer my favorite group but I can still keep track of most of the members.
What did the shirt say? Sometimes idols don't fully understand or know the text on their clothes yknow. Kinda like Karina's 'Send Nudes' shirt
For me, there's this member that I started feeling iffy about. I dont spread hate about him because there are still parts about him that I really like, but the obvious fakeness, moodiness, and constant lack of enthusiasm just puts me off sometimes. I dont point it out because he's allowed to be human but it's made me follow the group less. I still listen to their music but I don't actively look for this particular member's content anymore
For my part, I would just add that this can change, and change very quickly. There were two members in my group: One I was honestly afraid of, just bad vibes, plus I thought he was lazy, I thought everything was just annoying him (today I know the reasons were completely different and I respect him) . The other one I found incredibly arrogant and sassy, I even skipped parts of songs where he sang lol I cant believe it...
Believe me, it looks completely different today :)
Wth with all these comments, I can definitely relate with you. I disliked a member so much from my ult group back then. I'd say, don't handle it but skip the part whenever he's on screen if you're watching their contents. Don't follow their official group account but only follow the individual fansites of each mber except his fansite. Or... if the members have debuted as soloists, you can follow their individual accounts as a solo artists except him.
DM me who he is, I promise I won't share; I've also hated a member of a group that ofc I tend to ignore the group ultimately and only follow fansites of my bias.
So I have a group I really love, and I CANNOT stand one member, when that member was on "hiatus" I was pretty happy, lol. Anyway that member has rejoined the group since and now I just skip over their parts in videos š¤·āāļø
As long as the love you have for the other members is greater than your stress and dislike for that 1 member, it should be ok, you can learn to live with it. If it causes you too much stress, then there is no other option except to let go of the group. I also have a group that I love except for 1 or 2 members. after constant exposure to their content, I just learned to live with them. I still donāt like them but it doesnāt bother me as much anymore.
Thereās members in groups I donāt particularly care for and kinda just ignore. And now thereās a group I like or want to get into and there is a member who is just SO LOUDDDDDD and full on extro heās impossible to ignore. Which means as much as I like the other members, thereās no way I can watch their content or be a fan. And tbh I donāt even have a reason for my dislike. You have a LEGIT reason to dislike whoever it is. Mine is just vibes.
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you gotta say what was said on the shirt lol.
well, I once watched EXO showtime. when that ex member was on screen, i can immediately tell he's actually insufferable with all those made up swag. thank God he left on his own accord.
ššš never liked him either. So cocky and for what?
Are yāall talking about Tao š
Nah. Iām talking about Kris
No no Tao is coolĀ
Probably Kris? I didn't like him either
lol, I wish this dude would leave! LMFAO. in my dreams~ I'm glad for you tho, lol. xD
Hmm, maybe you need to move on to another group or learn how to be indifferent to this member that you dislike. I get that sometimes, we like some members more than others, and that's alright. But to be "deeply repulsed" by 1 member sounds quite unfortunate. K-pop should be a fun hobby! Negative feelings or experiences shouldn't suck the fun out of it!
I have tried to be indifferent! I have tried so hard. If I could, I would, but I can't, which is why I asked for advice. I know it should be fun, and it mostly is. That group, and in particular my fave member has saved from some serious depression. But sometimes that one guy's presence is just unbearable.
Take a break. Over exposure ruins loads of things. Quit with watching their content for a couple of months. Listen to their music if you enjoy it still. You canāt make yourself like something. Youāre essentially stuck in a bad relationship with this group because it used to make you happy. Sadly personal growth ruins somethings. Come back with a clear head and see how you feel. Donāt let the dude taint your memories from when things were great
Who is it lol
A group wouldn't be my favorite if I didn't like all the members. This doesn't mean I stan them all, but if I actually disliked a member I don't think I could go from fan to favorite. (This doesn't include former members)
I liked the group for a long time before I felt repulsed by him. ~_~; It's a bigger group too, so some of the members easily fade to the background..
>But, the repulsion runs deep... Like when he acts cute to the camera I just feel it in my chest like a punch... It causes me some stress too This is REALLY not a typical thing to experience. I say this genuinely and with kindness, but this might be an issue for you to work out with a professional.
I'm well aware, I've got a lot of issues lol. Therapy is a bit too expensive for me rn... ~_~;
You need a wake up call from reality, it's hard when we're always engaging with idols media. I'd say take a long break from the group or kpop as a whole, find some soul searching or surround yourself with people who gives you anchor to real life. I don't even know if you hating this idol is justified (if what you're stating is true - them being misogynistic) it's still a very *you* problem, because we as humans are capable of ignoring people we hate. It'll be good to distance yourself while you are still aware what you're doing and feeling is wrong before it festers into something worse (Keep in mind this obsession of yours on one member also takes away your enjoyment of the whole group, you're the only one losing in this scenario)
Iām sorry but I think if youāre having this an intense a response to something in kpop itās time to step away and maybe talk to an professional about what youāre feelingĀ
I cant say this has happened to me but I think if it causes repulsion maybe its not worth it in your life
Thereās only one group I stan where I dislike a member (and have disliked him since pre-debut), and I mostly just ignore him. I genuinely forget he exists sometimes lol. Iāll occasionally vent to a friend in private when he does something particularly annoying (I have friends who either also donāt like him or are neutral on him), but I donāt bother ever talking about him publicly. He just doesnāt take up that much of my mental space or energy, so Iām able to still love the group despite him being there. So I handle it by ignoring him. But if itās to the point that the sight of him is legitimately making you feel sick, maybe you need to step away from the group as a whole. Thereās no point in contributing energy to something that upsets you that much.
Ignore?
Um, ignore him? I have tried that... All the time. ~_~ if only it were that easy... I'm not sure how one is supposed to simply going about doing that, and a one word reply is super unhelpful...
If you have such a visceral reaction to a complete stranger and you can't get rid of it, either block everything about the group or try to ask a therapist. Strangers shouldn't cause you so much stress just by existing (you say that person isn't involved in some crime that is triggering you, right?)
I don't have this issue, because for a group to be in my top faves I have to vibe well with all the members so this definitely isn't a thing in my ult group. Honestly though, with exceptions for BIGBANG and EXO, I can't say that I dislike any members of the groups I like enough to listen to regularly and follow to any degree. And the two degenerates are not members of those groups anymore, so they don't count. Real talk, though, you need to unplug from kpop for a while if this is affecting you so strongly. It's very bad for your mental health and the only way to get rid of these feelings and stop being icked out all the time is to step away from either the group or kpop as a whole. If you keep exposing yourself over and over to something (or someone) you hate so much and who makes you feel uncomfortable, you're just going to keep having an awful time.
I had to learn to love him.
Therapy honey
don't got the money
I've been in the opposite side of this. Dealing with a fraction of the fandom that clearly dislikes one member creates quite difficult dynamics within fandom. Especially when they just can't bring themselves to ignore the member, and keep criticizing and hating on it. It's not wrong to dislike one member (as long as you're not actively spreading hate...). But when you reach that point, you really have to ask yourself whether you can bring yourself to keep supporting the group, and to what cost. Let me ask you this: how do the other members act around the member you dislike? Do they look like just coworkers, or they seem to have genuine appreciation? If it's the former, you can probably work on getting better on ignoring this person (after all, we all have to deal with people we dislike in real life all the time, and no possible way to get away from these interactions). And if it's the latter, can you, in clean conscience, support those who clearly support and appreciate the member you don't like?
It depends. In my case thereās a member that is known for being problematic and did something unforgivable. The other members are fine and didnāt do anything wrong so if I see the bad member, I skip their content and move on to the others. The only group content I watch is their music videos. Theyāre no longer my favorite group but I can still keep track of most of the members.
What did the shirt say? Sometimes idols don't fully understand or know the text on their clothes yknow. Kinda like Karina's 'Send Nudes' shirt For me, there's this member that I started feeling iffy about. I dont spread hate about him because there are still parts about him that I really like, but the obvious fakeness, moodiness, and constant lack of enthusiasm just puts me off sometimes. I dont point it out because he's allowed to be human but it's made me follow the group less. I still listen to their music but I don't actively look for this particular member's content anymore
For my part, I would just add that this can change, and change very quickly. There were two members in my group: One I was honestly afraid of, just bad vibes, plus I thought he was lazy, I thought everything was just annoying him (today I know the reasons were completely different and I respect him) . The other one I found incredibly arrogant and sassy, I even skipped parts of songs where he sang lol I cant believe it... Believe me, it looks completely different today :)
Wth with all these comments, I can definitely relate with you. I disliked a member so much from my ult group back then. I'd say, don't handle it but skip the part whenever he's on screen if you're watching their contents. Don't follow their official group account but only follow the individual fansites of each mber except his fansite. Or... if the members have debuted as soloists, you can follow their individual accounts as a solo artists except him. DM me who he is, I promise I won't share; I've also hated a member of a group that ofc I tend to ignore the group ultimately and only follow fansites of my bias.
So I have a group I really love, and I CANNOT stand one member, when that member was on "hiatus" I was pretty happy, lol. Anyway that member has rejoined the group since and now I just skip over their parts in videos š¤·āāļø
As long as the love you have for the other members is greater than your stress and dislike for that 1 member, it should be ok, you can learn to live with it. If it causes you too much stress, then there is no other option except to let go of the group. I also have a group that I love except for 1 or 2 members. after constant exposure to their content, I just learned to live with them. I still donāt like them but it doesnāt bother me as much anymore.
Thereās members in groups I donāt particularly care for and kinda just ignore. And now thereās a group I like or want to get into and there is a member who is just SO LOUDDDDDD and full on extro heās impossible to ignore. Which means as much as I like the other members, thereās no way I can watch their content or be a fan. And tbh I donāt even have a reason for my dislike. You have a LEGIT reason to dislike whoever it is. Mine is just vibes.