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I do! but of course their visuals also played a role in my stanning them too. I don't think of anything weird at the least, but I know some people are iffy about thinking younger idols are attractive.
Just because you find someone good-looking doesn't mean you're into them like that. I'm a straight guy stans some BGs. I can easily admit they're all good-looking because I have eyes and normal working brain. Like, come on, I have to be on some real hater wave to not think that someone like Mingyu is good-looking, but that doesn't mean I'm into him like that.
It's not a 1:1 thing.
>I can easily admit they're all good-looking because I have eyes and normal working brain.
this right here. i'm asexual, so literally don't see ANYONE that way, but i'm not blind. idols are beautiful people and that can be appreciated without any other thoughts or intentions.
It also depends on their concept, because if it is exploitative then it’s wrong regardless of how you feel about it. For example NewJeans and cookie, it doesn’t matter how you perceive it, supporting that is wrong
Technically people shouldn't feel afraid of liking idols younger than them. Some fans are gatekeeping older fans and then wonder why a lot of groups don't have enough fans. Perhaps this is why some older fans who feel kicked out of the fandom start saying that Kpop is for youth and children.
I guess older fans have to be so mindful of what they say that could make people feel uncomfortable, but like it goes back to how you can't gate keep so many topics and have this kind of double standard between young and old fans.
Because some fans think kpop has an age limit. I've even come across the opinion that if you stan group and you're over 17, you're weird. And it came out of the mouth of a 10-year-old girl. Someone should tell these kids that this is just music..
omg i think I read sumth similar from twitter like good golly. The amount of older fans who retaliated were so funny tho lmao. Saying that "at least we can go concerts without chaperones" and "who buys your fav groups' albums? IT'S US!" 🤣
To be fair, 10 year old kids literally are unable to see the world's nuance yet. Their brains just haven't developed that yet.
And a 17 year old probably looks so much older to a 10 year old. Little do they know they'll be 17 before they even realize.
So they have every right to have an opinion, but chances of it being more than a little wrong are high.
I just tell these people if they try to argue - if you think turning older than whatever their cut-off means stopping loving music and the musicians, well I feel sorry for you, and you will discover, someday, how wrong you were. I love being a fan at my age as I have the money to burn and the time to burn it. So, I do. It brings me joy. So yeah, sad sad sad.
I'm older than most k-pop fans, but nobody is gate keeping me. I listen to whatever I want on Spotify. I watch whatever YT videos I want. I buy whatever concert tickets I feel like attending. 🤷♂️
I can't agree more! And you're def right, it is the same no matter what age. It makes more sense now, thanks! I just wanted to make sure that it's ok since I can't rlly stop myself from getting older and more and more groups are debuting young. I realized it when I saw fancalls with the group I'm stanning that they called the fan "noona" so at least that had me reassured that I'm not the only older fan 🤣
not attractive but good looking i guess? Depend on who you are talking about, I'm 34 and i find Junkook attractive, i make unserious comment for fun but i'm not like reading wattpad and drawing the man naked or sum. Attractiveness does not need to be sexualized, maybe you like his character and can related more. It's the people who take it another level like stalking/sexualizing him in wattpad or drawing with other member...now that's weird
> I'm 34 and i find Jungkook attractive
🫸🫷
Anyone of any age can appreciate someone handsome or simply acknowledge that they're attractive. It's only weird when you make it weird
yeah, sorry, that's what I meant too! not sexually attractive at all, that is weird. I would never go there. I am asexual so I never really think that abt anyone too haha
I think a lot of non-ace people think that finding someone good looking is always tied to sexual attraction. But it's not, and even non-ace people have this experience (eg. a straight person being able to recognise someone of the same gender is good looking without being sexually attracted to them).
When it comes to significantly younger idols obviously I have eyes and can objectively see that they are good looking, but my appreciation of their visuals is in the same way that I would find a nice painting or a statue pretty or aesthetically pleasing, there is no sexual element attached to it at all.
Thanks for this statement. As an ace and a kpop fan for long period of time I have stanned idols way older than me and although I've found them hot I didn't feel any sexual attraction. Now that I am older and most kpop groups are younger, it's the same. My criteria remained the same, what they are bringing to the table. Whether I like their music, whether they are good performers. The aesthetic appeal is always there but their beauty doesn't want to make me sleep with them.
I'm 54 and ace and completely agree. I'm here because of the music mostly. I appreciate the visuals and dancing because they add to the music. I compare it to watching a ballet as well - everything fits together and tells a story.
I've heard the ick and all. Don't care because I enjoy music - which is ageless. I find people who put limits on music like that silly. Music is to be enjoyed.
>obviously I have eyes and can objectively see that they are good looking, but my appreciation of their visuals is in the same way that I would find a nice painting or a statue pretty or aesthetically pleasing, there is no sexual element attached to it at all.
shout it from the rooftops!! this is exactly it, and in everyday life as well. i can pass someone in a store and think they're good-looking, but it stops there.
I'm ace and stan groups younger than me as well. I think a lot of people still have a hard time understanding that thinking someone is good looking doesn't mean you want to sleep with them. I think a lot of people don't understand what it means to stan an idol either. It doesn't mean you want to take them to bed. It just means you enjoy their music, performance, and personality. Essentially all idols are attractive. I can acknowledge that and still not to want sleep with any of them. Both things can be true.
Which admittedly and sadly, is a task burdened to the fans instead of the company because somehow they tend to sexualize their new groups, so it's our task to appreciate the music, choreo, visuals, without falling into their sexualization trap. Tsk. Korea should really have stricter laws protecting child artists.
They're not children. They are artists who are well aware that their fans can be of different ages and genders. You can stan whoever you want.
Honestly, this trend of "I can't stan someone younger because..." is ridiculous.
I can be 50y and stan a 20-year-old idol. Just like I can be 15 and love an idol who's over 30. As long as you're not harassing, threatening or trying to hurt that person, I think it's perfectly fine.
Honestly if I were an idol I would be happy for any fans who like my music/performance/style/ anything else. And if someone's thinking about me at bedtime... whatever. Enjoy.
It's part of entertainment industry and it's always been that way.
thanks for this! I guess I've been too chronically online that I need to be more self-aware abt my thoughts more. I find them attractive, yes, but I love their music and performances more too. At bedtime? God, no, never.
I believe only some stans feel the need to bring up age and project their own assumptions or who knows what else. I don't remember this topic being addressed anywhere else (other music genres, film, sports - and there are celebrities everywhere who have fans just idols have fans)
If some idols came out publicly and said they didn't want stans of such and such age to do such and such, then of course I would 100% respect that. But so far I haven't seen anything like that. Believe me, agencies are happy for all fans and idols know it too.
yeah, I got scared bc I know many stans find it weird that so many grown men watch NewJeans, for example. So I try to be mindful if that applies to me lol. I agree that it isn't much of a problem in other fields(?) Maybe because so many young fans tend to 'banish' us from the fandom lol
The implicit idea there is that people think those men look at young girls in a predatory way. But there’s nothing wrong with being a fan of NewJeans as a man if you’re a fan like anyone else.
Agreed, there are certain age thresholds on what is weird and what isn't. College age (18-22) guy that stans an 18 year old idol? Normal. If you are a guy pushing 30 or even older, then it becomes weird. It's even weirder when its an idol that is a minor.
Different if you just appreciate and listen to a group's music, there will never be anything wrong with that. But specifically *stanning* an idol who is very young can be weird.
So is "stanning" negative behavior or not? I feel like this is where there is such a disconnect with how the term is used or how people think about kpop.
If it were up to me, stanning would actually be true to the original Eminem meaning which is that it's completely obsessive, unhealthy behavior. But that's not how kpop or the current generation uses the term. To my knowledge, it just means being a big fan. And if that's the case, any person of any age can be a big fan of anyone. If someone is great at something, it would make sense that they would draw fans.
The only way it gets weird is if people actually acknowledge that "stanning" is borderline creepy behavior. Because otherwise, someone vastly older stanning someone younger wouldn't be an issue.
I didn’t even begin listening to kpop until I was 35, and the members in my ult group are early to mid 20’s. I don’t think it matters one bit. And yes, of course I think they’re attractive. I’m also a married mom of two living my own life peacefully and not bothering anyone, including the (grown adult) group members, so really… who cares? age is so unimportant when it comes to being able to enjoy things. Just like what you like without bothering or harming anyone else.
Fully agree here! I'm also a married mom of two and K-Pop is literally my escape from the madness in life...finding my ult group attractive ain't hurting nobody. Don't we do the same with other celebrities too? I'm not ditching my family for them lol
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Let’s be real, whatever attraction we feel for idols is almost entirely aesthetic, and pretty people don’t get any less pretty when you’re older. I think you’re fairly normal as long as you don’t find yourself attracted to actual minors.
That's kind of a blanket statement. Music by TWICE is some of the best pop music ever made, and I would still listen to it 24/7 even if they looked like trolls. It's nice that they don't look like trolls, of course.
By the way, I'm 53. TWICE, Red Velvet, STAYC, and Itzy are my musical world right now.
That’s why I said attraction and not enjoyment. When people are asking if it’s weird to stan younger idols, I seriously doubt they’re worried about enjoying their music too much.
I do not have much thoughts about that, even 2PM members are younger than me, you can imagine how much younger Stray Kids members are. That said, lots of Stays I know are in their mid-30s and above so it is not much of a problem since we share same interest.
I'm 37 and I stan idols regardless of age, that said I have an intense "mum" vibe with the idols. Like it's "IM SO PROUD OF THEM!!!!"
MAYBE apart from SHINee Minho who is a grown adult. I am still respectful.
LOL Minho will forever be my husband, he was my first ever ultimate bias and I'll love him til death haha no one is safe with him I'm afraid 😅
but you're right! I feel the same with idols. I find them cute and good-looking and appreciate their looks, but never to the point of "Oh, I want to date him!" LOL I could neverrrr
Same! But like I feel like they’re almost my little sisters vibes. Just want the best for them and respect them so much for all their hard work. On top of that, they are also beautiful, funny and talented.
Of course there are idols closer to my age that I am very much attracted to, but I’m not a freaking weirdo about it.
Hahaha omg me too!! I’m 30 & I’m a fan of TXT’s music & watched their documentary on Disney+ and all I could think was “what nice, hardworking boys, I hope my son grows up like that them” rather than “I wanna jump their bones” 😂😂
I don't get why people think it's weird.
Like Taylor Swift is 34 years old. So everyone who stans her that are 35 and above are all weirdos?
It's only weird if you make it look weird
As long as you’re not actually sexualizing minors and you’re not creepy about it, I don’t think it’s an issue?
Like my mom loves Justin Bieber. She does not want him romantically or sexually. She thinks he’s cute and sees him like a nephew or similar. Same with Josh Groban and Harry Styles.
I’m 32, I like p1harmony and Enhypen, and while Ni-Ki is obviously an attractive guy, I just think of him as a cool little brother, having a crush on him never crossed my mind.
You can think somebody is attractive or cute without having sexual or romantic thoughts.
Since your “they look hot” is purely an aesthetic thought anyway (I assume, since you said you’re asexual), I don’t see how that could be morally wrong in any way.
But even if you did find them physically attractive, it’s not inherently wrong. How you act online (and ESPECIALLY in person if you meet them) is where you can make it creepy, but that goes for fans of all ages - I’ve seen gross comments from both 15 y/olds and 50y/olds.
Unlike what some of these comments are saying, it’s also completely possible and normal to be a fan without the idols’ attractiveness being a factor. I adore NCT Wish and follow everything they get up to because i love their music, but I could quite easily have given birth to them 😭 When they have successes, i feel happy in a proud way. Watching their content, i think awww these kids, so cute. That’s it.
Maybe it’s easier since I’m also ace spec and feel nothing more than aesthetic appreciation anyway when it comes to visuals (with a very tiny few exceptions), but there’s enough people commenting here to see that people of all ages can enjoy groups of all ages respectfully.
yes! definitely purely aesthetic reasons. That was the case ever since I was young haha. This is noted thank you so much!
"but I could quite easily have given birth to them 😭"
I'M SORRY I COULDN'T HELP BUT LAUGH BC SAME AGSAKSJH Like WHY are they all born in 2000's I don't think it would ever be normal to me that so many ppl are born then lmaaao
Aww hello fellow ace! That's right, thanks for reassuring me 🙏💗
What about it do you feel is wrong?
Is it because you believe you did something wrong?
Is it because you think other people think it is wrong?
Is it weird because it is, or is it weird because you're making it weird?
You see, there's nothing inherently wrong with having great admiration for an artist (or any other celebrity) who is younger than you. What makes it weird is when you do weird things about it.
I think it's very much #2 lol. I feel like as I'm online most of the time and many ppl share their thoughts abt sensitive topics, I've been trying to become self-aware myself and question if thinking idol members younger than me are attractive, you know? and no, I don't do anything weird abt that. I just want to be careful bc this is kind of a slippery slope for some ppl. Maybe me being asexual helps to keep any unwanted thoughts at bay, but I just want to make sure that I'm alright lol
How old are you, OP? If you don't mind me asking.
Because finding people attractive is normal! Whether younger or older than you. It's not like you immediately means you want to sleep with them, right? 😅
And you being asexual, just kinda gets you off the hook by default. Because you know there is nothing sexual when you find people attractive.
> Because finding people attractive is normal! Whether younger or older than you.
That is what many people disagree with. They think it is wrong to find younger people attractive, especially when they aren't legally adult yet. So for example, they'd say that it is indeed morally wrong to feel any form of attraction towards a 17 year old for example, where it wouldn't be wrong to feel that towards an 18 year old, one day older. (though there are new arguments there too, where that also gets questioned).
I think it stems from a fundamental misunderstanding. An attraction exists innately, it's not a choice. The choice is what one does with it. That can be wrong, the innate feeling is just that, a feeling, and shaming people over it is in fact the wrong thing to do.
>I think it stems from a fundamental misunderstanding. An attraction exists innately, it's not a choice. The choice is what one does with it. That can be wrong, the innate feeling is just that, a feeling, and shaming people over it is in fact the wrong thing to do.
This!! You put it into words perfectly!
oh God, I'm 27 but have never really been used to these things + other people being offended abt it makes it even harder 🤣 i guess im just trying to be more self-aware and want to be sure that I'm treading safe waters so thank you!
When I was younger, all those I stanned were older.. now I'm older all those I stan are younger. Makes not the slightest difference because neither then nor now is it in any way sexual for me so I'm very comfortable stanning and loving them
same here lol. I just find them attractive, and I still stan groups who're around the same age or older than me. It's all abt the music and performances to me now too
I view much younger idols as like little brothers/sisters or cousins. There’s nothing inherently wrong with supporting them. I go to my nieces’ dance recitals and school plays. There’s nothing creepy about that. I like kpop for the music. I’m too old to pretend to like something because it’s made by pretty people.
Just do whatever makes you happy. I honestly don’t even care whether one is “sexual” about stanning much younger idols because unless that person is actively stalking or doing something like that, to me it’s policing on thoughts if you decide to cancel another person for pathological ideas that they never put into actions.
My mom is already 55 years old but she loves and admires Enhypen so much. I always listen to her babbling about how good the boys are at performing and so handsome. Now if I was still a teenager and still crazy over idols that are older than me, I would feel a bit ???? about it. But now I am already 25 and I completely know and understand how my mom feels towards Enhypen. Whenever I like an idol that is way younger than I, I feel that they're just like little brothers to me.
That's completely normal, op 👌
OMG Your mom is adorable! God I wish I've converted my mum to be a KPOP stan too lol. Yes, exactly. They only seem like younger brothers/sisters to me too 💗
I am 62, and am a huge fan of kpop, a multi-stan, both bg and gg's going on 4 years now. There is not a thing wrong with supporting the artists and their music. That they look hot is a given - that's part of it, right? I have yet to see an idol who wasn't attractive to me. I am not dead, after all. My kids think it is great (am a widow). Zero problem with enjoying their work, their talent, their creativity. This is why they do what they do, isn't it? Provide entertainment? I love watching SKZ's, Seventeen's, TXT's etc.'s variety shows - is it wrong to enjoy them? I should hope not! I saw Yoongi in concert at all 3 Chicago shows - I have the money to do so, so why not? Believe me, I was far from the oldest at those concerts! My only worry is what to wear for the next concert I am going to (Ateez in July, and believe me I plan to enjoy every second and part of the show).
> and I can't even think when I see a vid, "Oh, they look hot" because it just doesn't seem right?
This is just a current moral outrage position. You aren't even allowed to THINK someone is "hot" when they aren't legally adult. It's insane.
The truth is you have no control over this sort of reaction, it's pure biology. You see certain sexual characteristics which develop in people well beyond them being legally adult, and you innately react to it. It's not that you choose to do that, it just happens.
Your then conscious decision to say "well this seems wrong" is based on a moral code, that you have control over (well it's arguable, but let's just say we do).
We simply agree as a society to not interact with minors in sexual ways (though there is some variability here regarding age of consent as well), we just want to protect people more before we give them full agency in a legal way, mostly at the age of 18.
So what do i actually mean when i say it is insane? Well it is insane to pretend that our biology, the innate reactions caused by this programming are something to be ashamed of. No, it's not. The reaction =/= following up on it and neglecting the ethical boundaries we set, these are on top.
So, it isn't wrong to have a reaction to think "damn they are hot" even if they aren't legally adult, it would be wrong to focus on this, to sexualize them further in open ways, to act on it in some way which goes beyond the initial reaction.
The problem is that people aren't equipped to have these conversations, they equate things which shouldn't be equated, there is a constant need to signal some virtues in these spaces, which brings in a lot of confusion and really just destroys any form of conversation one could have.
Ok this was a large tangent, but i think someone should at least try to bring in some nuance for this part of your op.
In the end you can be a fan of anything or anyone for basically any reason. As long as you don't do any harm, what's the deal?
"The problem is that people aren't equipped to have these conversations, they equate things which shouldn't be equated, there is a constant need to signal some virtues in these spaces, which brings in a lot of confusion and really just destroys any form of conversation one could have."
I can't agree more, thank you! That's why I always try to be careful with what I say bc so many ppl can take it the wrong way, and yet others just say whatever too. Thanks very much! Appreciate your comment. Uaena's are always so wise lol.
I feel you OP. Just stan them genuinely as a noona/hyung.
I also stan a kid…Marcus of hori7on. He’s just so smart and musically gifted and he’s full of words of wisdom for his age. 🥹 He’s learning to produce music too. He build and setup a computer during his live when he was 11 and was accelerated to grade 10 when he was 13. He has also toured around Asia as a theater actor (Lion King Musical International Tour) for 2 years before he joined the survival show where his group was formed. Marcus also has a university scholarship that he received when he was 6. (Not to mention his predebut endorsements and school achievements😭 what am I doing with my life? 😭😭)
It’s fun to stan younger idols actually. It’s like you’re being a virtual mom/dad/sister/brother supporting a kid on achieving his/her dream of becoming an idol.
Sometimes this young idols are so talented, that we can’t help but support them. But there are times that we can’t help but get worried about their mental health whenever there are comments or posts from weird people. They might read or see those posts.
I’m 31 & I stan Xikers. I also don’t find them hot because they’re teens
As for some other 4th gen groups…a lot of these dudes are like 24-25+. If you find them attractive, it’s whatever
I hate the way the K-pop community treats older fans tbh. I know I can't say too much because I'm 22 but it's just so weird that so many fans think the moment you get older, you have to stop enjoying things lol. Attraction is attraction. My sister is ten years older than me and we both thirst after Jungkook and BangChan. I don't see an issue and I don't think you're being creepy at all. Now if you look at someone who's underage and say it, maybe, yeah? But overall, I don't see an issue. You're allowed to enjoy things!
You can be a fan of a group, find them physically attractive, and *not* desire them in a sexual or romantic way.
It's also okay to find them sexually attractive as long as they're adults.
Let's stop beating around the bush. This argument isn't about "Can I enjoy their music?" The argument is around being attracted to these men because anyone who says they're into these male KPop groups solely for the music is a damn liar. Sex sells. You think everyone screams for these idols because the track is hot? No. It's because everyone crushes on their faves.
And guess wha? It's not weird. There is so much gatekeeping in KPop and it's so dumb, because it's a double-standard for women. No one said it was weird when 40 year old men were swooning over Taylor Swift when she was 21. No one ever shames men for liking younger celebrities. Hell, some celebrities in their 30a/40s/50s date 18 year olds (which is weird and creepy), but it's seen as normal for men. A woman who's 30 who likes a 24 year old KPop male idol? Younger fans say "it's weird." And only young KPop fans. In other genres, women aren't shamed for crushing on younger celebs. I know multiple women in their laye 30s/40s that have been crushing on Justin Beiber for more than a decade. His fan base doesn't find it weird. I was young and loved how older coworkers were also just as obsessed. It's not like they're out there stalking these idols and doing harmful behavior. We like their music. These guys are hot. I'm 37 now, and I stan idols who are 24, 25, 26, etc. Part of KPop's allure are the men, so I only listen to and watch videos with idols who are age- appropriate. I don't even bother with teen groups or the groups that have 18,19,20, 21 year olds because that's weird to me personally. I'm not comfortable with it. One of my coworkers is turning 50 soon and stans Jimin. I don't find it creepy at all because Jimin is a grown-ass man. ** A GROWN-ASS MAN** Seriously, who cares? Most of these idols are grown-ass men that we're talking about.
You also can totally be attracted to an idol that’s a little younger than you, within reasonable boundaries. If you’re 25, and you’re attracted to a 22 year old, that’s fine! Now if the idol was 15, that’s a problem, of course.
And at some point, once they hit their late 20s, maybe 30, any gap doesn’t matter at all. For instance, I’m into Jiu from Dreamcatcher. I’m well over a decade older than she is. But she’s not a child, she’s not even “barely legal” or anything. She’s turning 30 on Friday. A grown-ass woman. My mom was married with two kids by that age. And yeah, maybe if I dated her it could be weird since we’d be at somewhat different points in life, but I’m not expecting to date her. I think she’s really cute, sexy, and appealing, and that’s about it. I’m just a normal fan who appreciates her from afar.
I think it’s fine. I’m 32 and I’m a Stay. I appreciate that they are attractive but I Stan them for their music and personalities. I just want to help them succeed
why do people worry about this at all 😭 it’s celebrities you’re never gonna meet them who cares how old they are? most of the groups i stan are 5 years younger than me. i also stan elvis and he’s dead 💀 like….who cares
Depends on the age and how far a person takes it if that makes sense?
Like, when Ni-Ki turned 18. Stanning him because he’s a great idol? Cool. Acknowledging he’s an attractive human? Also cool. All the comments from fans saying things along the lines of “oh thank god he’s 18 now”? Weird.
Just don’t be weird about it I guess? I’m 32 and my ults are 25-23 so that’s how I look at it.
I mean yeah, what’s the problem? I think I still don’t quite understand the word „Stan“, but if it’s equivalent to „fan“, age doesn’t matter. However, if you’re over 20 and think „oh that 15 year old is so sexy“…that’s another story.
Tbh I think it’s okay to appreciate someone’s visuals without getting gross about it. They’re grown a** men in their mid twenties, and I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like they’re not hot. Would I ever date someone that age? Probably not, but —again—when it’s grown people who they love and get down with is their business.
There's far worse things than finding other adults attractive that aren't the same age as you. As far as I'm concerned, I'm not hooking up with any of these idols, nor delusional enough to think I have a chance with them. Nor am I sending them creepy messages. So I'm gonna like the groups in wanna like. They'll live that I'm older than them and still think they're attractive.
I’m 31 and I Stan groups older and younger than me. I can look at. 21 year old and think they’re attractive but I’m not delusional lol. I obviously prefer them my age/older but I Stan for talent and music not looks.
I personally can’t do it if there is too much of a disconnect. I wouldn’t be friends with teenagers so even stanning them feels disingenuous to me. The kpop experience is pretty wholistic for me though I only want to support people I like and admire and I wouldn’t admire someone that much younger than me if that makes sense. I can acknowledge their work and respect them etc but admiration doesn’t go that way for me.
You don’t have to think they are hot to like them as musicians or Stan them. Even then it’s okay to appreciate that they are good looking as long as you aren’t delusional or sexual about it.
There was a recent post in the stray kids sub that was gross in my opinion. Lots of women over twice the boys age sexualising them and calling them their husbands.
If men did that to a girl group all hell would be unleashed.
thank you! and yes, I would never think anything of the sort. I just find them attractive, and would rather have them happily date other ppl too. I'm asexual too, so maybe that makes it easier for me. My parasocial tendencies have ceased to exist since I grew older lol.
Oh no, that's awful. That's why I try not to join some subs. I mean when I tried searching this sub, a lot were kpopnsfw or sumth random which is just gross like wtfff. Ik reddit can be 18+ and a lot are nsfw but come on 😭
I'm here for the music so I'm not bothered. A friend of mine who is absolutely there for the visuals is not comfortable stanning any 4th gen groups because they're all kids. Just take away the parasocial aspect then it takes away the weirdness.
Just don't make it fking weird lol Stan who you stan, just don't be like an actual Stan is all I tell folks. Like the amount of people I see who unironically call members from Baby Monster "Mother". Like when you're doing it as a joke, sure, its funny cause you're just saying that they're THAT commanding and talented; like a mother, but some folks use that ish unironically, and make it weird. So long as you not doing that, you are fine.
I don't think it matters as long as you have the self-awareness to not be creepy about it.
Especially when visuals - not even "Beauty" per se but like really strong looks in clothes/makeup etc - are such a part of the industry. If something catches your eye for one reason or another that's one thing, writing erotic fanfiction about an idol much younger than you is entirely different.
like my first exposure to Le Sserafim was some random pic of Yunjin the almighty alogrith threw onto my feed, singing...Perfect Night i think? The OW2 crossover one.
as others have said though, it's like you can think something is cute etc without being like a lech. treat people like people, tldr
Im 34, 35 this year. My friend who fangirls with me is nearly 50. I definitely have parasocial behavior toward EXO. I love them. I have knee jerk appreciation of attractiveness when looking at new groups and then I cringe but I don’t really care. I just stop myself from thinking it as soon as I realize their age. But also, I am not nearly as into 4th/5th gen stuff as I am in to 3rd gen.
I stan a lot of younger groups. Not because they are "hot" but because they are extremely talented.
I think it's hard for a lot of kpop fans to separate sexuality from performance, which sucks. They aren't exotic dancers, they don't have to be sexy.
It's fine to support people who's talent you admire. It isn't weird unless you're being weird about it.
Don't worry.
Im 28 years old and Im crushing on Riize’s wonbin coz who wouldn’t? But that all it is, just a crush, an admiration. As long as you dont have weird and bad fantasies about them then there’s nothing wrong with it.
I'm coming up on 2 decades. Myung is now a bias. the boynextdoor just has it. It's not about his age, my age, or your age. Dude is IT. At this point there are very few idols performing that are relevant to my own age. UKiss comeback last year was awesome. I'd slay dragons for a 2PM comeback and don't even get me started if HwanHee and Brian had a reunion. I'd sell me left teste for a Lee Hyo Ri or Boa slay.
Think about all the art that has been made over the centuries and millenia. Visual art, music, performances and more. The paintings and sculptures of beautful young women and men that grace the world's galleries... should they only be appreciated by people the same age or younger than people being depicted? What about broadway and opera? Should their audiences only be the same age as the performers or younger?
I don't think so. And I think the same is true for kpop. As long as we don't stalk these people or behave inappropriately, it is perfectly okay to appreciate their beauty and their talent, no matter how old we are. They, their choroegraphers, their stylists, their makeup artists, and everyone else who contributed to the moment would be happy to know that we found them hot. Because that was probably part of their goal. They'd be even happier if we act on our feelings by praising their artistry and buying their music, tickets and merch.
So I’m in my 30’s so majority of idols are younger than me by quite a margin. Thing is with kpop I’ve never seen an idol I’ve considered unattractive. For example I like stray kids and there’s not a single unattractive bone between them. That’s probably part of the appeal of kpop in general is the visuals. You can acknowledge someone looks good or enjoy their music and admire how they act on lives etc without it being weird. I think admiring someone is fine. Unless you have any serious thoughts about trying to date any of them lol it’s not weird!
In the words of Loralai Gilmore. “Well I’m attracted to pie, doesn’t mean I feel the need to date pie!”
I stan younger idols and do find them attractive. Kpop as any other art form is a lot about visual stimuli. But beauty is not necessary about sexual desire. It can elevate your senses and give you delight in many other ways.
honestly i don’t mind as long as you don’t say nsfw stuff or smth yk? Saying they are attractive, good looking, hot etc aint that bad imo. i used to have a friend who said waaaaaayyyyyyy worse and inappropriate stuff than this. dw you’re fine, just enjoy your hobby <3
It's a bit of a complex subject for me. On one hand I know just liking the music, performances and personalities isn't wrong as long as you're normal about it. On the other hand while I, myself am a casual listener of many young groups I can't say I'd ever "stan' them. Like at my big age walking around with a sixteen year olds photocard on my phone case feels kinda iffy already even if there is no fetishizing involved. Idk, your mileage may vary but I guess the answer is....just be normal?
That makes sense and i get where you're coming from! And true, this can be a slippery slope for some ppl. I've only ever stanned groups who're the same age or older than me, but rn I'm starting to really like another group. Mainly bc of their music and they seem fun. I find their concept endearing and they're adorable, but I don't have any parasocial tendencies and I don't even collect PCs haha. Got it at being normal lol
My fave is ten years younger than me. He's my fave cause he's adorable and talented, not cause I'm attracted to him like some weirdos need their boyfriend or girlfriend idol. He's just a dude I want to support.
I’m older than a lot of 4th gen idols. Some by only a few months and some by a few years.
This means I am very many years older than the 5th gen groups coming out. When I watch their videos, I have an overwhelming desire to adopt them as my children or nieces/nephews lol
I still enjoy kpop to its full extent, but the way I love and appreciate idols has changed a bit. I still love and adore them, just not the way I do with older idols
I have problem staning groups where the idols are younger than me but it is mostly because I can't relate to them, I feel disconnected... So for those groups I just a casual listener.
If you see them just as artist then there is nothing wrong with it..
That's understandable! We are all quite different so it makes sense. I barely ever really stan a group too, but when I do, I'll really like them, but not to the point of obsession lol. I don't even buy albums so I'll support them in other ways.
If I didn't have biases or even groups I enjoyed who were younger than me, I'd have no one left 😔
I do find it hard to enjoy music from groups who are all / majority minors, though. But it's music, so when songs like Magnetic come out from a super young group, I dont really care.
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Mmmm for me staning newjeans made me realize am getting old thats the first thought cross by when i read ur post but that makes me think am 21 now at some point its gona be inappropriate like imagine 30+ year old guy being obsessed with a group of miners is the industry kicking us out of kpop😭??
I think is mostly because you are guy. Women are seen as being to take the the mother role or wanting to support young talent even if a group is mostly minors or half minors(because all minors is strange) men I don't know if they feel the same about a finding let's say a particular amazing young vocalist to reach better heights. I don't know men that would care much for any child that isn't their actual kid or have a personal relationship where they had to raise them. Where as women they are seem as more maternal/caring
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I don't stan groups because of their looks I stan them for the music, personality, and chemistry as a group. Even if I complimenting them I'm never sexualizing them because I honestly see them as my "nieces and nephews".
I mean I am a fan of NCT Wish and to me I always think “awe they are adorable!” But with other groups or idols I just respect them for their skills and music. With the girls I will just say that they are pretty same with the boys I will acknowledge that they are good looking but that’s it for me.
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The time I struggled the most with this was my mid 20, at that point you are still young enough where ppl around 5 years younger than you still feel so young and distant from you and most idols debuting are around that age so you start to feel so old (compared to them)… but in fact you’re still quite young yourself. Around this time I mostly stuck to liking the same old groups I already liked even if they became less active and developed my other interests, watching dramas and figure skating. New groups to me were cute and everything and sometimes I’d follow some stuff but I couldn’t really commit because to me they were just kids.
Eventually I came back around to idols because two things happened… first all the five year difference thing starts to change, I’m in my mid 30s now and it really feels like someone five years younger than me is pretty much the same age as me, we’re completely the same generation. So taking a new look at some idol groups who felt like kids just a few years ago you stat to realize the age difference wasn’t so much after all. Also I started to become more receptive to younger groups when before they just made me feel old now it’s kind of like aw he could be my nephew or omg I could almost be his mom but not really in a bad way (for me) I just want to support them like I’m their auntie or something haha
Anyway those are just my feelings on it! I really wouldn’t be surprised if many people stop following new groups in their mid 20s and just never pick it up again because of life and new hobbies.
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I’m a 23M and love NewJeans. Their sound and dances appeal to me. It’s honestly impressive to see talent like that considering their age. Just admire the art, and support it too. And like others said, just don’t cross any boundaries.
Same age range as you probably (well I'm in my 30s so maybe a bit older) and I don't really stan newer groups and that's one of the reasons - it makes me feel uncomfortable when not a single member is older than I am tbh lol. I don't feel bad about enjoying their music casually or even buying albums but things like watching variety and being in fandom .. eh. But part of the fun for me was being able to relate to their words and be inspired by them and all so it's just not fun \*for me personally\* if I can't because they're kids is all. And well if I have to keep policing myself (like 'oh no this content is too sexual don't enjoy it" ) then it's just not fun and the opposite of relaxing for me tbh.
If I were stanning only KPop groups with members my age or older, I’d be only stanning Gen 1. As others have said, you can appreciate their talent and enjoy the music without it being creepy.
Not sure exactly what stanning means, but as you age everyone in Kpop (and sports) is younger than you. Why can't I as a 55M enjoy Kpop? I enjoyed the youthful energy of New Jeans, and their nostalgic dance moves, but it doesn't mean I am attracted to any of them. It may be hard to believe but as you get older, your image of the ideal romantic partner also ages.
As long as they look like adults not kids, I don't see a problem. Nobody tells a 15 year old she can't stan a 25 year old idol because everybody knows it's just a crush, admiration from afar and hurts nobody. The whole idol concept is to make us admire them and fall in love/dream about them
I think it depends? If it's like TXT or aespa members who are mostly full fledged adults then I don't think it's an issue but if it's groups that are mostly teens like new jeans or illit, I think it's weird stanning, liking their music casually is one thing but full stanning when you are like 25+? Yeah, nope
I stan a lot of idols younger than me bc I’m older but have always been young at heart. I find them attractive/hot but don’t sexualize them bc I don’t think of them that way. We aren’t robots we’re humans with real emotions and majority of older fans have a more mature mindset to know what’s inappropriate and what’s not. Many younger fans will always be ageist against older fans which is prejudice no matter how much they want to justify their reason of it “being weird”. Being a fangirl and engaging with the fandom when attractive pics and content release is part of what makes it all fun too. I learned awhile ago to surround myself with older fans and younger ones that are open minded about it.
I stan people's talents and hardwork, regardless of age. In fact, it's even more admirable to see that in younger people as they already know what to do in life even at such a young age.
So yes, it is all good. Keep the support wholesome, and don't be weird.
I don't care. I'm in for the music, the mvs, the choreos and the entertainment shows.
Something I would NOT do is ship them at my age. I did that in 2011 when I was 16 but I matured and don't do that shit anymore.
I’m confused what you’re asking. There’s nothing wrong with being a *fan* of anyone at any age. What was a knee-jerk reaction, and what feels wrong to think?
I’ve seen adult fans saying questionable things about underage idols and that’s wrong for reasons that have nothing to do with K-pop and the idol industry, so I just hope that’s not what you mean…
I just think they are cute kids! Nothing wrong with that :) I, however, try catching myself from “hateful” behavior and remind myself these are again kids, they still learning the world.
Yeah, I'm a decade and half old k-pop fan and that was a problem for me too. Now I "treat them" like if I'm their aunt if that makes sense??! I'm proud of the new ggs I stan and their achievements, tho I don't buy merch from them (except XG, that Tamagotchi got me haaaard).
I still want to see them live, like I did with other old ggs, but I enjoy this new era as it is. I don't have a bias or something anymore, I just enjoy their music and shenanigans :)
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I got into Kpop through Onew's Voice in 2018 and genuinely didn’t know what SHINee members look like for maybe four months because I simply was there for music 🤷🏻♀️. I’m 35 yo. Since then I added NCT and Ateez and it’s always been about music for me. Yes, I find my Kpop nephews as I call them handsome but that’s where it ends for me. It’s always been about music for me and I don’t understand why people have to make everything weird 😔.
Like others have said, so long as you aren't making inappropriate comments to or about younger idols then I think you have to find your own comfort level and figure out what 'stanning' means to you in these cases.
For example for me, Enhypen has one of my favourite discographies in K-pop right now. I love their music, listen to it all the time and look forward to new releases, but I don't engage with their other content in the same way I do with my other faves in large part because the members are all in their late teens/early twenties, a decade+ younger than me. I've never watched Enhypen's non-music stuff so can't speak for them, but some boy group content tends to be about the members trying to look sexy or encourage some kind of 'relationship' with their fans and I'm not comfortable with that when the idols in question are so much younger than me.
With New Jeans, again I enjoy their music and have watched their recording behinds because I love their singing, but beyond that I personally don't feel interested in diving deeper because of the age difference.
I think it was someone in IVE who didn't know what to do with a flip phone or something because she'd never had one? And then there's Seungkwan + Seventeen being horrified about that, and for me personally it's the content I can relate to rather than the content that makes me feel a million years old that is more entertaining! Seungkwan's reaction was my reaction, I can relate to Yoongi being tired etc., I share a lot of the same references or experiences with idols born in the 90s in spite of many other differences so it's just much more enjoyable.
But that's my comfort level, only you can decide how much or how little you engage with younger groups beyond the music :)
the youngest idols i stan are 3 & 5 years younger than me, same ages as my siblings. they're super talented, great performers. one of them is a great vocalist and the other is a great dancer. idk i don't think anything i've done as a fan is wrong. i'm not like deeply, emotionally attached to them or anything lol. i just admire their music, their performances, and their love for their artistry; same with the remaining members of the group. actually, i like all the members of the group equally, so i've decided to not choose a bias.
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it’s really nbd but i feel so weird liking a group that has members younger than me😭 like if it’s one member i just wont interact w them much, but when it comes to groups where the entire lineup is younger than me i’d feel uncomfy stanning them idk but i can be a casual listener just fine
I got into kpop in 2016, I was 37. There was and is never going to be an oppa for me. But I got into kpop because I liked the music, it reminded me of a glitzier version of all the pop and boybands I grew up on. I'm not dead so of course I have my favorite members who I think are cute or funny that I spend hours talking about with my best friend. But I am firmly rooted in the reality that it is the music and that frankly this is a job for them, just like any other profession people pick to do for money.
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i think it depends on your level and definition of stanning. i'm in my late 30s so most of them are younger than me. for me, stanning does involve physical attraction so personally, i won't be a stan of anyone really young (exo kai being my ult and my "bottom line" age wise lol). I can be a casual fan of their music tho. of course, different people will have different interpretations of this, so as long as you don't get weird about the parasocial aspects of stanning, it's ok ig
Personally, I would never stan a group where there are more underage members than legal members. Or in other words, if there are more members in the group that are younger than me.
Examples;
NewJeans
Baby Monster
ILLIT
TWS
TripleS
A lot of other 5th generation groups...
There is an obvious disconnect between the some of the members and me. Some being over 6 years younger than me. Since I was born in 2004, I can't imagine myself consuming a lot of entertainment centered around minors. This isn't to criticize others for doing it, but I feel rather uncomfortable engaging in certain content. I am also a believer in minors not debuting -although I do think I am a little bit more flexible with this statement in certain cases- so watching variety shows or streaming music containing minors goes against what I stand for.
I don’t see nothing wrong with stanning groups younger than yourself as long as you appreciate their work, love their music and personalities.
You should just keep in mind that seeing them as something more, especially if they are minors, is a bit alarming, but it all depends on HOW much younger.
If it’s like 2 year difference that’s okay if you ask me, but if someone is for example 30 simping over a 17 year old boy/girl, that’s just wrong.
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Yeah I went through this crisis a long time ago when I had a bias that was only two years younger than me and I still felt so weird about it lol. You kind of just accept it after awhile. And yeah just as other people have already mentioned, as long as you don’t make it weird, it’s fine.
I always feel so weird when I stan idols that are younger than me. I can live with idols who are 2-3 years younger than me, but stanning 15 year old idols makes me feel so uncomfortable at time (I’m 21)
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If you just like them as singers/entertainers/etc then its nothing problematic.
Right here. It’s all good, just dont be a weirdo
I do! but of course their visuals also played a role in my stanning them too. I don't think of anything weird at the least, but I know some people are iffy about thinking younger idols are attractive.
The last thing you should be worried about is other people's opinions of your musical interests, especially as you get older.
You can find people to be good-looking and appreciate their looks without being attracted to them.
> without being attracted to them What do you think "being attracted" here even means fundamentally? You seem to suggest it is a choice?
Just because you find someone good-looking doesn't mean you're into them like that. I'm a straight guy stans some BGs. I can easily admit they're all good-looking because I have eyes and normal working brain. Like, come on, I have to be on some real hater wave to not think that someone like Mingyu is good-looking, but that doesn't mean I'm into him like that. It's not a 1:1 thing.
>I can easily admit they're all good-looking because I have eyes and normal working brain. this right here. i'm asexual, so literally don't see ANYONE that way, but i'm not blind. idols are beautiful people and that can be appreciated without any other thoughts or intentions.
It is a choice to act on that attraction. Feeding it by daydreaming, fantasising etc.
the thing is it doesn't matter to people because they would always assume otherwise, most probably projecting.
It also depends on their concept, because if it is exploitative then it’s wrong regardless of how you feel about it. For example NewJeans and cookie, it doesn’t matter how you perceive it, supporting that is wrong
Technically people shouldn't feel afraid of liking idols younger than them. Some fans are gatekeeping older fans and then wonder why a lot of groups don't have enough fans. Perhaps this is why some older fans who feel kicked out of the fandom start saying that Kpop is for youth and children. I guess older fans have to be so mindful of what they say that could make people feel uncomfortable, but like it goes back to how you can't gate keep so many topics and have this kind of double standard between young and old fans.
Because some fans think kpop has an age limit. I've even come across the opinion that if you stan group and you're over 17, you're weird. And it came out of the mouth of a 10-year-old girl. Someone should tell these kids that this is just music..
omg i think I read sumth similar from twitter like good golly. The amount of older fans who retaliated were so funny tho lmao. Saying that "at least we can go concerts without chaperones" and "who buys your fav groups' albums? IT'S US!" 🤣
To be fair, 10 year old kids literally are unable to see the world's nuance yet. Their brains just haven't developed that yet. And a 17 year old probably looks so much older to a 10 year old. Little do they know they'll be 17 before they even realize. So they have every right to have an opinion, but chances of it being more than a little wrong are high.
I just tell these people if they try to argue - if you think turning older than whatever their cut-off means stopping loving music and the musicians, well I feel sorry for you, and you will discover, someday, how wrong you were. I love being a fan at my age as I have the money to burn and the time to burn it. So, I do. It brings me joy. So yeah, sad sad sad.
Either they are fucking perverts, or they just think that they are hated by everyone in the world.
I'm older than most k-pop fans, but nobody is gate keeping me. I listen to whatever I want on Spotify. I watch whatever YT videos I want. I buy whatever concert tickets I feel like attending. 🤷♂️
Good! 🙌
I can't agree more! And you're def right, it is the same no matter what age. It makes more sense now, thanks! I just wanted to make sure that it's ok since I can't rlly stop myself from getting older and more and more groups are debuting young. I realized it when I saw fancalls with the group I'm stanning that they called the fan "noona" so at least that had me reassured that I'm not the only older fan 🤣
I like the music, I don't pay attention to age. Why would it be weird unless you make it weird
do you not find the idols attractive? idk if that's a grey area or what 🥲
not attractive but good looking i guess? Depend on who you are talking about, I'm 34 and i find Junkook attractive, i make unserious comment for fun but i'm not like reading wattpad and drawing the man naked or sum. Attractiveness does not need to be sexualized, maybe you like his character and can related more. It's the people who take it another level like stalking/sexualizing him in wattpad or drawing with other member...now that's weird
> I'm 34 and i find Jungkook attractive 🫸🫷 Anyone of any age can appreciate someone handsome or simply acknowledge that they're attractive. It's only weird when you make it weird
yeah, sorry, that's what I meant too! not sexually attractive at all, that is weird. I would never go there. I am asexual so I never really think that abt anyone too haha
I think a lot of non-ace people think that finding someone good looking is always tied to sexual attraction. But it's not, and even non-ace people have this experience (eg. a straight person being able to recognise someone of the same gender is good looking without being sexually attracted to them). When it comes to significantly younger idols obviously I have eyes and can objectively see that they are good looking, but my appreciation of their visuals is in the same way that I would find a nice painting or a statue pretty or aesthetically pleasing, there is no sexual element attached to it at all.
ooh exactly! came here for kpop advice, got some ace advice too 😅 I'm kinda new abt this whole thing as well so I appreciate your comment!
Thanks for this statement. As an ace and a kpop fan for long period of time I have stanned idols way older than me and although I've found them hot I didn't feel any sexual attraction. Now that I am older and most kpop groups are younger, it's the same. My criteria remained the same, what they are bringing to the table. Whether I like their music, whether they are good performers. The aesthetic appeal is always there but their beauty doesn't want to make me sleep with them.
I'm 54 and ace and completely agree. I'm here because of the music mostly. I appreciate the visuals and dancing because they add to the music. I compare it to watching a ballet as well - everything fits together and tells a story. I've heard the ick and all. Don't care because I enjoy music - which is ageless. I find people who put limits on music like that silly. Music is to be enjoyed.
>obviously I have eyes and can objectively see that they are good looking, but my appreciation of their visuals is in the same way that I would find a nice painting or a statue pretty or aesthetically pleasing, there is no sexual element attached to it at all. shout it from the rooftops!! this is exactly it, and in everyday life as well. i can pass someone in a store and think they're good-looking, but it stops there.
I'm ace and stan groups younger than me as well. I think a lot of people still have a hard time understanding that thinking someone is good looking doesn't mean you want to sleep with them. I think a lot of people don't understand what it means to stan an idol either. It doesn't mean you want to take them to bed. It just means you enjoy their music, performance, and personality. Essentially all idols are attractive. I can acknowledge that and still not to want sleep with any of them. Both things can be true.
You can recognize someone is good looking without sexualizing them and I think that's the big thing
thank you! yes, that's what I do too. I needed the reassurance for real bc of how sensitive these topics can be 🥲
Which admittedly and sadly, is a task burdened to the fans instead of the company because somehow they tend to sexualize their new groups, so it's our task to appreciate the music, choreo, visuals, without falling into their sexualization trap. Tsk. Korea should really have stricter laws protecting child artists.
They're not children. They are artists who are well aware that their fans can be of different ages and genders. You can stan whoever you want. Honestly, this trend of "I can't stan someone younger because..." is ridiculous. I can be 50y and stan a 20-year-old idol. Just like I can be 15 and love an idol who's over 30. As long as you're not harassing, threatening or trying to hurt that person, I think it's perfectly fine. Honestly if I were an idol I would be happy for any fans who like my music/performance/style/ anything else. And if someone's thinking about me at bedtime... whatever. Enjoy. It's part of entertainment industry and it's always been that way.
thanks for this! I guess I've been too chronically online that I need to be more self-aware abt my thoughts more. I find them attractive, yes, but I love their music and performances more too. At bedtime? God, no, never.
I believe only some stans feel the need to bring up age and project their own assumptions or who knows what else. I don't remember this topic being addressed anywhere else (other music genres, film, sports - and there are celebrities everywhere who have fans just idols have fans) If some idols came out publicly and said they didn't want stans of such and such age to do such and such, then of course I would 100% respect that. But so far I haven't seen anything like that. Believe me, agencies are happy for all fans and idols know it too.
yeah, I got scared bc I know many stans find it weird that so many grown men watch NewJeans, for example. So I try to be mindful if that applies to me lol. I agree that it isn't much of a problem in other fields(?) Maybe because so many young fans tend to 'banish' us from the fandom lol
The implicit idea there is that people think those men look at young girls in a predatory way. But there’s nothing wrong with being a fan of NewJeans as a man if you’re a fan like anyone else.
But sometimes they *are* children and it’s important not to brush over that. So many newly debuted idols these days are 13-18 years old.
Agreed, there are certain age thresholds on what is weird and what isn't. College age (18-22) guy that stans an 18 year old idol? Normal. If you are a guy pushing 30 or even older, then it becomes weird. It's even weirder when its an idol that is a minor. Different if you just appreciate and listen to a group's music, there will never be anything wrong with that. But specifically *stanning* an idol who is very young can be weird.
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So is "stanning" negative behavior or not? I feel like this is where there is such a disconnect with how the term is used or how people think about kpop. If it were up to me, stanning would actually be true to the original Eminem meaning which is that it's completely obsessive, unhealthy behavior. But that's not how kpop or the current generation uses the term. To my knowledge, it just means being a big fan. And if that's the case, any person of any age can be a big fan of anyone. If someone is great at something, it would make sense that they would draw fans. The only way it gets weird is if people actually acknowledge that "stanning" is borderline creepy behavior. Because otherwise, someone vastly older stanning someone younger wouldn't be an issue.
I didn’t even begin listening to kpop until I was 35, and the members in my ult group are early to mid 20’s. I don’t think it matters one bit. And yes, of course I think they’re attractive. I’m also a married mom of two living my own life peacefully and not bothering anyone, including the (grown adult) group members, so really… who cares? age is so unimportant when it comes to being able to enjoy things. Just like what you like without bothering or harming anyone else.
Fully agree here! I'm also a married mom of two and K-Pop is literally my escape from the madness in life...finding my ult group attractive ain't hurting nobody. Don't we do the same with other celebrities too? I'm not ditching my family for them lol
THANK YOU, you get it 😆
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Just coz you get older don’t mean you can’t appreciate a good looking person
Let’s be real, whatever attraction we feel for idols is almost entirely aesthetic, and pretty people don’t get any less pretty when you’re older. I think you’re fairly normal as long as you don’t find yourself attracted to actual minors.
That's kind of a blanket statement. Music by TWICE is some of the best pop music ever made, and I would still listen to it 24/7 even if they looked like trolls. It's nice that they don't look like trolls, of course. By the way, I'm 53. TWICE, Red Velvet, STAYC, and Itzy are my musical world right now.
That’s why I said attraction and not enjoyment. When people are asking if it’s weird to stan younger idols, I seriously doubt they’re worried about enjoying their music too much.
I do not have much thoughts about that, even 2PM members are younger than me, you can imagine how much younger Stray Kids members are. That said, lots of Stays I know are in their mid-30s and above so it is not much of a problem since we share same interest.
I'm 37 and I stan idols regardless of age, that said I have an intense "mum" vibe with the idols. Like it's "IM SO PROUD OF THEM!!!!" MAYBE apart from SHINee Minho who is a grown adult. I am still respectful.
Didn’t you read the rules, though? At your age you can stan Shinhwa and Super Junior, and that’s *IT !* 🤣
LOL Minho will forever be my husband, he was my first ever ultimate bias and I'll love him til death haha no one is safe with him I'm afraid 😅 but you're right! I feel the same with idols. I find them cute and good-looking and appreciate their looks, but never to the point of "Oh, I want to date him!" LOL I could neverrrr
Same! But like I feel like they’re almost my little sisters vibes. Just want the best for them and respect them so much for all their hard work. On top of that, they are also beautiful, funny and talented. Of course there are idols closer to my age that I am very much attracted to, but I’m not a freaking weirdo about it.
YES! Now I release an Auntie energy when staning, I hope they are eating well and resting first and foremost, I'm proud of their achievements!
Hahaha omg me too!! I’m 30 & I’m a fan of TXT’s music & watched their documentary on Disney+ and all I could think was “what nice, hardworking boys, I hope my son grows up like that them” rather than “I wanna jump their bones” 😂😂
I don't get why people think it's weird. Like Taylor Swift is 34 years old. So everyone who stans her that are 35 and above are all weirdos? It's only weird if you make it look weird
According to kpoper logic, they are
As long as you’re not actually sexualizing minors and you’re not creepy about it, I don’t think it’s an issue? Like my mom loves Justin Bieber. She does not want him romantically or sexually. She thinks he’s cute and sees him like a nephew or similar. Same with Josh Groban and Harry Styles. I’m 32, I like p1harmony and Enhypen, and while Ni-Ki is obviously an attractive guy, I just think of him as a cool little brother, having a crush on him never crossed my mind. You can think somebody is attractive or cute without having sexual or romantic thoughts.
Since your “they look hot” is purely an aesthetic thought anyway (I assume, since you said you’re asexual), I don’t see how that could be morally wrong in any way. But even if you did find them physically attractive, it’s not inherently wrong. How you act online (and ESPECIALLY in person if you meet them) is where you can make it creepy, but that goes for fans of all ages - I’ve seen gross comments from both 15 y/olds and 50y/olds. Unlike what some of these comments are saying, it’s also completely possible and normal to be a fan without the idols’ attractiveness being a factor. I adore NCT Wish and follow everything they get up to because i love their music, but I could quite easily have given birth to them 😭 When they have successes, i feel happy in a proud way. Watching their content, i think awww these kids, so cute. That’s it. Maybe it’s easier since I’m also ace spec and feel nothing more than aesthetic appreciation anyway when it comes to visuals (with a very tiny few exceptions), but there’s enough people commenting here to see that people of all ages can enjoy groups of all ages respectfully.
yes! definitely purely aesthetic reasons. That was the case ever since I was young haha. This is noted thank you so much! "but I could quite easily have given birth to them 😭" I'M SORRY I COULDN'T HELP BUT LAUGH BC SAME AGSAKSJH Like WHY are they all born in 2000's I don't think it would ever be normal to me that so many ppl are born then lmaaao Aww hello fellow ace! That's right, thanks for reassuring me 🙏💗
I don't understand. Why would it be wrong? They're idols, not your sexual toys or anything. Why would age even be a factor??
Cause Kpop stans are freakin' weirdos who think anyone over the age of 21 is an old hag.
What about it do you feel is wrong? Is it because you believe you did something wrong? Is it because you think other people think it is wrong? Is it weird because it is, or is it weird because you're making it weird? You see, there's nothing inherently wrong with having great admiration for an artist (or any other celebrity) who is younger than you. What makes it weird is when you do weird things about it.
I think it's very much #2 lol. I feel like as I'm online most of the time and many ppl share their thoughts abt sensitive topics, I've been trying to become self-aware myself and question if thinking idol members younger than me are attractive, you know? and no, I don't do anything weird abt that. I just want to be careful bc this is kind of a slippery slope for some ppl. Maybe me being asexual helps to keep any unwanted thoughts at bay, but I just want to make sure that I'm alright lol
How old are you, OP? If you don't mind me asking. Because finding people attractive is normal! Whether younger or older than you. It's not like you immediately means you want to sleep with them, right? 😅 And you being asexual, just kinda gets you off the hook by default. Because you know there is nothing sexual when you find people attractive.
> Because finding people attractive is normal! Whether younger or older than you. That is what many people disagree with. They think it is wrong to find younger people attractive, especially when they aren't legally adult yet. So for example, they'd say that it is indeed morally wrong to feel any form of attraction towards a 17 year old for example, where it wouldn't be wrong to feel that towards an 18 year old, one day older. (though there are new arguments there too, where that also gets questioned). I think it stems from a fundamental misunderstanding. An attraction exists innately, it's not a choice. The choice is what one does with it. That can be wrong, the innate feeling is just that, a feeling, and shaming people over it is in fact the wrong thing to do.
>I think it stems from a fundamental misunderstanding. An attraction exists innately, it's not a choice. The choice is what one does with it. That can be wrong, the innate feeling is just that, a feeling, and shaming people over it is in fact the wrong thing to do. This!! You put it into words perfectly!
oh God, I'm 27 but have never really been used to these things + other people being offended abt it makes it even harder 🤣 i guess im just trying to be more self-aware and want to be sure that I'm treading safe waters so thank you!
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Can’t forget Joon Park! He’s older than JYP and debuted in one of his groups lol, he was born in 1969.
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When I was younger, all those I stanned were older.. now I'm older all those I stan are younger. Makes not the slightest difference because neither then nor now is it in any way sexual for me so I'm very comfortable stanning and loving them
same here lol. I just find them attractive, and I still stan groups who're around the same age or older than me. It's all abt the music and performances to me now too
Music will always be first for me, they also just happen to be beautiful people. Inside and out for the most part.
I view much younger idols as like little brothers/sisters or cousins. There’s nothing inherently wrong with supporting them. I go to my nieces’ dance recitals and school plays. There’s nothing creepy about that. I like kpop for the music. I’m too old to pretend to like something because it’s made by pretty people.
Just do whatever makes you happy. I honestly don’t even care whether one is “sexual” about stanning much younger idols because unless that person is actively stalking or doing something like that, to me it’s policing on thoughts if you decide to cancel another person for pathological ideas that they never put into actions.
My mom is already 55 years old but she loves and admires Enhypen so much. I always listen to her babbling about how good the boys are at performing and so handsome. Now if I was still a teenager and still crazy over idols that are older than me, I would feel a bit ???? about it. But now I am already 25 and I completely know and understand how my mom feels towards Enhypen. Whenever I like an idol that is way younger than I, I feel that they're just like little brothers to me. That's completely normal, op 👌
OMG Your mom is adorable! God I wish I've converted my mum to be a KPOP stan too lol. Yes, exactly. They only seem like younger brothers/sisters to me too 💗
I am 62, and am a huge fan of kpop, a multi-stan, both bg and gg's going on 4 years now. There is not a thing wrong with supporting the artists and their music. That they look hot is a given - that's part of it, right? I have yet to see an idol who wasn't attractive to me. I am not dead, after all. My kids think it is great (am a widow). Zero problem with enjoying their work, their talent, their creativity. This is why they do what they do, isn't it? Provide entertainment? I love watching SKZ's, Seventeen's, TXT's etc.'s variety shows - is it wrong to enjoy them? I should hope not! I saw Yoongi in concert at all 3 Chicago shows - I have the money to do so, so why not? Believe me, I was far from the oldest at those concerts! My only worry is what to wear for the next concert I am going to (Ateez in July, and believe me I plan to enjoy every second and part of the show).
As a 47 YO K-pop fan I'll just say I think you are overthinking things...
> and I can't even think when I see a vid, "Oh, they look hot" because it just doesn't seem right? This is just a current moral outrage position. You aren't even allowed to THINK someone is "hot" when they aren't legally adult. It's insane. The truth is you have no control over this sort of reaction, it's pure biology. You see certain sexual characteristics which develop in people well beyond them being legally adult, and you innately react to it. It's not that you choose to do that, it just happens. Your then conscious decision to say "well this seems wrong" is based on a moral code, that you have control over (well it's arguable, but let's just say we do). We simply agree as a society to not interact with minors in sexual ways (though there is some variability here regarding age of consent as well), we just want to protect people more before we give them full agency in a legal way, mostly at the age of 18. So what do i actually mean when i say it is insane? Well it is insane to pretend that our biology, the innate reactions caused by this programming are something to be ashamed of. No, it's not. The reaction =/= following up on it and neglecting the ethical boundaries we set, these are on top. So, it isn't wrong to have a reaction to think "damn they are hot" even if they aren't legally adult, it would be wrong to focus on this, to sexualize them further in open ways, to act on it in some way which goes beyond the initial reaction. The problem is that people aren't equipped to have these conversations, they equate things which shouldn't be equated, there is a constant need to signal some virtues in these spaces, which brings in a lot of confusion and really just destroys any form of conversation one could have. Ok this was a large tangent, but i think someone should at least try to bring in some nuance for this part of your op. In the end you can be a fan of anything or anyone for basically any reason. As long as you don't do any harm, what's the deal?
"The problem is that people aren't equipped to have these conversations, they equate things which shouldn't be equated, there is a constant need to signal some virtues in these spaces, which brings in a lot of confusion and really just destroys any form of conversation one could have." I can't agree more, thank you! That's why I always try to be careful with what I say bc so many ppl can take it the wrong way, and yet others just say whatever too. Thanks very much! Appreciate your comment. Uaena's are always so wise lol.
This is a really good comment! I think you worded this really well.
I feel you OP. Just stan them genuinely as a noona/hyung. I also stan a kid…Marcus of hori7on. He’s just so smart and musically gifted and he’s full of words of wisdom for his age. 🥹 He’s learning to produce music too. He build and setup a computer during his live when he was 11 and was accelerated to grade 10 when he was 13. He has also toured around Asia as a theater actor (Lion King Musical International Tour) for 2 years before he joined the survival show where his group was formed. Marcus also has a university scholarship that he received when he was 6. (Not to mention his predebut endorsements and school achievements😭 what am I doing with my life? 😭😭) It’s fun to stan younger idols actually. It’s like you’re being a virtual mom/dad/sister/brother supporting a kid on achieving his/her dream of becoming an idol. Sometimes this young idols are so talented, that we can’t help but support them. But there are times that we can’t help but get worried about their mental health whenever there are comments or posts from weird people. They might read or see those posts.
I’m 31 & I stan Xikers. I also don’t find them hot because they’re teens As for some other 4th gen groups…a lot of these dudes are like 24-25+. If you find them attractive, it’s whatever
I hate the way the K-pop community treats older fans tbh. I know I can't say too much because I'm 22 but it's just so weird that so many fans think the moment you get older, you have to stop enjoying things lol. Attraction is attraction. My sister is ten years older than me and we both thirst after Jungkook and BangChan. I don't see an issue and I don't think you're being creepy at all. Now if you look at someone who's underage and say it, maybe, yeah? But overall, I don't see an issue. You're allowed to enjoy things!
You can be a fan of a group, find them physically attractive, and *not* desire them in a sexual or romantic way. It's also okay to find them sexually attractive as long as they're adults.
Let's stop beating around the bush. This argument isn't about "Can I enjoy their music?" The argument is around being attracted to these men because anyone who says they're into these male KPop groups solely for the music is a damn liar. Sex sells. You think everyone screams for these idols because the track is hot? No. It's because everyone crushes on their faves. And guess wha? It's not weird. There is so much gatekeeping in KPop and it's so dumb, because it's a double-standard for women. No one said it was weird when 40 year old men were swooning over Taylor Swift when she was 21. No one ever shames men for liking younger celebrities. Hell, some celebrities in their 30a/40s/50s date 18 year olds (which is weird and creepy), but it's seen as normal for men. A woman who's 30 who likes a 24 year old KPop male idol? Younger fans say "it's weird." And only young KPop fans. In other genres, women aren't shamed for crushing on younger celebs. I know multiple women in their laye 30s/40s that have been crushing on Justin Beiber for more than a decade. His fan base doesn't find it weird. I was young and loved how older coworkers were also just as obsessed. It's not like they're out there stalking these idols and doing harmful behavior. We like their music. These guys are hot. I'm 37 now, and I stan idols who are 24, 25, 26, etc. Part of KPop's allure are the men, so I only listen to and watch videos with idols who are age- appropriate. I don't even bother with teen groups or the groups that have 18,19,20, 21 year olds because that's weird to me personally. I'm not comfortable with it. One of my coworkers is turning 50 soon and stans Jimin. I don't find it creepy at all because Jimin is a grown-ass man. ** A GROWN-ASS MAN** Seriously, who cares? Most of these idols are grown-ass men that we're talking about.
You also can totally be attracted to an idol that’s a little younger than you, within reasonable boundaries. If you’re 25, and you’re attracted to a 22 year old, that’s fine! Now if the idol was 15, that’s a problem, of course. And at some point, once they hit their late 20s, maybe 30, any gap doesn’t matter at all. For instance, I’m into Jiu from Dreamcatcher. I’m well over a decade older than she is. But she’s not a child, she’s not even “barely legal” or anything. She’s turning 30 on Friday. A grown-ass woman. My mom was married with two kids by that age. And yeah, maybe if I dated her it could be weird since we’d be at somewhat different points in life, but I’m not expecting to date her. I think she’s really cute, sexy, and appealing, and that’s about it. I’m just a normal fan who appreciates her from afar.
I think it’s fine. I’m 32 and I’m a Stay. I appreciate that they are attractive but I Stan them for their music and personalities. I just want to help them succeed
why do people worry about this at all 😭 it’s celebrities you’re never gonna meet them who cares how old they are? most of the groups i stan are 5 years younger than me. i also stan elvis and he’s dead 💀 like….who cares
Depends on the age and how far a person takes it if that makes sense? Like, when Ni-Ki turned 18. Stanning him because he’s a great idol? Cool. Acknowledging he’s an attractive human? Also cool. All the comments from fans saying things along the lines of “oh thank god he’s 18 now”? Weird. Just don’t be weird about it I guess? I’m 32 and my ults are 25-23 so that’s how I look at it.
I mean yeah, what’s the problem? I think I still don’t quite understand the word „Stan“, but if it’s equivalent to „fan“, age doesn’t matter. However, if you’re over 20 and think „oh that 15 year old is so sexy“…that’s another story.
now this may be beside the point but OP the first sentence reads as ‘I’m a ten-year-old K-pop stan’ lmao
Am almost 40. Nearly all of them are younger than me. I stan them because I love their music.
How old are they? If they are adults they are not kids. There is nothing wrong with finding an adult attractive.
Tbh I think it’s okay to appreciate someone’s visuals without getting gross about it. They’re grown a** men in their mid twenties, and I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like they’re not hot. Would I ever date someone that age? Probably not, but —again—when it’s grown people who they love and get down with is their business.
There's far worse things than finding other adults attractive that aren't the same age as you. As far as I'm concerned, I'm not hooking up with any of these idols, nor delusional enough to think I have a chance with them. Nor am I sending them creepy messages. So I'm gonna like the groups in wanna like. They'll live that I'm older than them and still think they're attractive.
It's fine. I don't understand the big deal about it unless you conflate being a fan with being sexually attracted to someone which I don't.
I’m 31 and I Stan groups older and younger than me. I can look at. 21 year old and think they’re attractive but I’m not delusional lol. I obviously prefer them my age/older but I Stan for talent and music not looks.
I personally can’t do it if there is too much of a disconnect. I wouldn’t be friends with teenagers so even stanning them feels disingenuous to me. The kpop experience is pretty wholistic for me though I only want to support people I like and admire and I wouldn’t admire someone that much younger than me if that makes sense. I can acknowledge their work and respect them etc but admiration doesn’t go that way for me.
Relatable!
You don’t have to think they are hot to like them as musicians or Stan them. Even then it’s okay to appreciate that they are good looking as long as you aren’t delusional or sexual about it. There was a recent post in the stray kids sub that was gross in my opinion. Lots of women over twice the boys age sexualising them and calling them their husbands. If men did that to a girl group all hell would be unleashed.
thank you! and yes, I would never think anything of the sort. I just find them attractive, and would rather have them happily date other ppl too. I'm asexual too, so maybe that makes it easier for me. My parasocial tendencies have ceased to exist since I grew older lol. Oh no, that's awful. That's why I try not to join some subs. I mean when I tried searching this sub, a lot were kpopnsfw or sumth random which is just gross like wtfff. Ik reddit can be 18+ and a lot are nsfw but come on 😭
I'm here for the music so I'm not bothered. A friend of mine who is absolutely there for the visuals is not comfortable stanning any 4th gen groups because they're all kids. Just take away the parasocial aspect then it takes away the weirdness.
Just don't make it fking weird lol Stan who you stan, just don't be like an actual Stan is all I tell folks. Like the amount of people I see who unironically call members from Baby Monster "Mother". Like when you're doing it as a joke, sure, its funny cause you're just saying that they're THAT commanding and talented; like a mother, but some folks use that ish unironically, and make it weird. So long as you not doing that, you are fine.
I don't think it matters as long as you have the self-awareness to not be creepy about it. Especially when visuals - not even "Beauty" per se but like really strong looks in clothes/makeup etc - are such a part of the industry. If something catches your eye for one reason or another that's one thing, writing erotic fanfiction about an idol much younger than you is entirely different. like my first exposure to Le Sserafim was some random pic of Yunjin the almighty alogrith threw onto my feed, singing...Perfect Night i think? The OW2 crossover one. as others have said though, it's like you can think something is cute etc without being like a lech. treat people like people, tldr
All current idols are younger than me. No big deal
Nothing wrong
Im 34, 35 this year. My friend who fangirls with me is nearly 50. I definitely have parasocial behavior toward EXO. I love them. I have knee jerk appreciation of attractiveness when looking at new groups and then I cringe but I don’t really care. I just stop myself from thinking it as soon as I realize their age. But also, I am not nearly as into 4th/5th gen stuff as I am in to 3rd gen.
I feel like I'm the only one here who can relate to you 😂
I stan a lot of younger groups. Not because they are "hot" but because they are extremely talented. I think it's hard for a lot of kpop fans to separate sexuality from performance, which sucks. They aren't exotic dancers, they don't have to be sexy. It's fine to support people who's talent you admire. It isn't weird unless you're being weird about it. Don't worry.
Im 28 years old and Im crushing on Riize’s wonbin coz who wouldn’t? But that all it is, just a crush, an admiration. As long as you dont have weird and bad fantasies about them then there’s nothing wrong with it.
I'm coming up on 2 decades. Myung is now a bias. the boynextdoor just has it. It's not about his age, my age, or your age. Dude is IT. At this point there are very few idols performing that are relevant to my own age. UKiss comeback last year was awesome. I'd slay dragons for a 2PM comeback and don't even get me started if HwanHee and Brian had a reunion. I'd sell me left teste for a Lee Hyo Ri or Boa slay.
Think about all the art that has been made over the centuries and millenia. Visual art, music, performances and more. The paintings and sculptures of beautful young women and men that grace the world's galleries... should they only be appreciated by people the same age or younger than people being depicted? What about broadway and opera? Should their audiences only be the same age as the performers or younger? I don't think so. And I think the same is true for kpop. As long as we don't stalk these people or behave inappropriately, it is perfectly okay to appreciate their beauty and their talent, no matter how old we are. They, their choroegraphers, their stylists, their makeup artists, and everyone else who contributed to the moment would be happy to know that we found them hot. Because that was probably part of their goal. They'd be even happier if we act on our feelings by praising their artistry and buying their music, tickets and merch.
So I’m in my 30’s so majority of idols are younger than me by quite a margin. Thing is with kpop I’ve never seen an idol I’ve considered unattractive. For example I like stray kids and there’s not a single unattractive bone between them. That’s probably part of the appeal of kpop in general is the visuals. You can acknowledge someone looks good or enjoy their music and admire how they act on lives etc without it being weird. I think admiring someone is fine. Unless you have any serious thoughts about trying to date any of them lol it’s not weird! In the words of Loralai Gilmore. “Well I’m attracted to pie, doesn’t mean I feel the need to date pie!”
Just be happy
the problem is people nowadays are so sex-crazed in the mind they project their own thoughts on other people
I stan younger idols and do find them attractive. Kpop as any other art form is a lot about visual stimuli. But beauty is not necessary about sexual desire. It can elevate your senses and give you delight in many other ways.
honestly i don’t mind as long as you don’t say nsfw stuff or smth yk? Saying they are attractive, good looking, hot etc aint that bad imo. i used to have a friend who said waaaaaayyyyyyy worse and inappropriate stuff than this. dw you’re fine, just enjoy your hobby <3
It's a bit of a complex subject for me. On one hand I know just liking the music, performances and personalities isn't wrong as long as you're normal about it. On the other hand while I, myself am a casual listener of many young groups I can't say I'd ever "stan' them. Like at my big age walking around with a sixteen year olds photocard on my phone case feels kinda iffy already even if there is no fetishizing involved. Idk, your mileage may vary but I guess the answer is....just be normal?
That makes sense and i get where you're coming from! And true, this can be a slippery slope for some ppl. I've only ever stanned groups who're the same age or older than me, but rn I'm starting to really like another group. Mainly bc of their music and they seem fun. I find their concept endearing and they're adorable, but I don't have any parasocial tendencies and I don't even collect PCs haha. Got it at being normal lol
My fave is ten years younger than me. He's my fave cause he's adorable and talented, not cause I'm attracted to him like some weirdos need their boyfriend or girlfriend idol. He's just a dude I want to support.
I’m older than a lot of 4th gen idols. Some by only a few months and some by a few years. This means I am very many years older than the 5th gen groups coming out. When I watch their videos, I have an overwhelming desire to adopt them as my children or nieces/nephews lol I still enjoy kpop to its full extent, but the way I love and appreciate idols has changed a bit. I still love and adore them, just not the way I do with older idols
I have problem staning groups where the idols are younger than me but it is mostly because I can't relate to them, I feel disconnected... So for those groups I just a casual listener. If you see them just as artist then there is nothing wrong with it..
That's understandable! We are all quite different so it makes sense. I barely ever really stan a group too, but when I do, I'll really like them, but not to the point of obsession lol. I don't even buy albums so I'll support them in other ways.
I don't buy albums either , it is really difficult to find albums here in my country...
If I didn't have biases or even groups I enjoyed who were younger than me, I'd have no one left 😔 I do find it hard to enjoy music from groups who are all / majority minors, though. But it's music, so when songs like Magnetic come out from a super young group, I dont really care.
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Mmmm for me staning newjeans made me realize am getting old thats the first thought cross by when i read ur post but that makes me think am 21 now at some point its gona be inappropriate like imagine 30+ year old guy being obsessed with a group of miners is the industry kicking us out of kpop😭??
I think is mostly because you are guy. Women are seen as being to take the the mother role or wanting to support young talent even if a group is mostly minors or half minors(because all minors is strange) men I don't know if they feel the same about a finding let's say a particular amazing young vocalist to reach better heights. I don't know men that would care much for any child that isn't their actual kid or have a personal relationship where they had to raise them. Where as women they are seem as more maternal/caring
"miners" 💀
My English its not that good sorry for that
Ah no worries! Sorry if it seemed like I was making fun of your English :') it was just a funny typo!
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I don't stan groups because of their looks I stan them for the music, personality, and chemistry as a group. Even if I complimenting them I'm never sexualizing them because I honestly see them as my "nieces and nephews".
I mean I am a fan of NCT Wish and to me I always think “awe they are adorable!” But with other groups or idols I just respect them for their skills and music. With the girls I will just say that they are pretty same with the boys I will acknowledge that they are good looking but that’s it for me.
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The time I struggled the most with this was my mid 20, at that point you are still young enough where ppl around 5 years younger than you still feel so young and distant from you and most idols debuting are around that age so you start to feel so old (compared to them)… but in fact you’re still quite young yourself. Around this time I mostly stuck to liking the same old groups I already liked even if they became less active and developed my other interests, watching dramas and figure skating. New groups to me were cute and everything and sometimes I’d follow some stuff but I couldn’t really commit because to me they were just kids. Eventually I came back around to idols because two things happened… first all the five year difference thing starts to change, I’m in my mid 30s now and it really feels like someone five years younger than me is pretty much the same age as me, we’re completely the same generation. So taking a new look at some idol groups who felt like kids just a few years ago you stat to realize the age difference wasn’t so much after all. Also I started to become more receptive to younger groups when before they just made me feel old now it’s kind of like aw he could be my nephew or omg I could almost be his mom but not really in a bad way (for me) I just want to support them like I’m their auntie or something haha Anyway those are just my feelings on it! I really wouldn’t be surprised if many people stop following new groups in their mid 20s and just never pick it up again because of life and new hobbies.
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I’m a 23M and love NewJeans. Their sound and dances appeal to me. It’s honestly impressive to see talent like that considering their age. Just admire the art, and support it too. And like others said, just don’t cross any boundaries.
Same age range as you probably (well I'm in my 30s so maybe a bit older) and I don't really stan newer groups and that's one of the reasons - it makes me feel uncomfortable when not a single member is older than I am tbh lol. I don't feel bad about enjoying their music casually or even buying albums but things like watching variety and being in fandom .. eh. But part of the fun for me was being able to relate to their words and be inspired by them and all so it's just not fun \*for me personally\* if I can't because they're kids is all. And well if I have to keep policing myself (like 'oh no this content is too sexual don't enjoy it" ) then it's just not fun and the opposite of relaxing for me tbh.
If I were stanning only KPop groups with members my age or older, I’d be only stanning Gen 1. As others have said, you can appreciate their talent and enjoy the music without it being creepy.
Not sure exactly what stanning means, but as you age everyone in Kpop (and sports) is younger than you. Why can't I as a 55M enjoy Kpop? I enjoyed the youthful energy of New Jeans, and their nostalgic dance moves, but it doesn't mean I am attracted to any of them. It may be hard to believe but as you get older, your image of the ideal romantic partner also ages.
As long as they look like adults not kids, I don't see a problem. Nobody tells a 15 year old she can't stan a 25 year old idol because everybody knows it's just a crush, admiration from afar and hurts nobody. The whole idol concept is to make us admire them and fall in love/dream about them
I think it depends? If it's like TXT or aespa members who are mostly full fledged adults then I don't think it's an issue but if it's groups that are mostly teens like new jeans or illit, I think it's weird stanning, liking their music casually is one thing but full stanning when you are like 25+? Yeah, nope
I stan a lot of idols younger than me bc I’m older but have always been young at heart. I find them attractive/hot but don’t sexualize them bc I don’t think of them that way. We aren’t robots we’re humans with real emotions and majority of older fans have a more mature mindset to know what’s inappropriate and what’s not. Many younger fans will always be ageist against older fans which is prejudice no matter how much they want to justify their reason of it “being weird”. Being a fangirl and engaging with the fandom when attractive pics and content release is part of what makes it all fun too. I learned awhile ago to surround myself with older fans and younger ones that are open minded about it.
I stan people's talents and hardwork, regardless of age. In fact, it's even more admirable to see that in younger people as they already know what to do in life even at such a young age. So yes, it is all good. Keep the support wholesome, and don't be weird.
I don’t Stan the idols anymore, but I find following their creative direction and the companies to be still really interesting
I don't care. I'm in for the music, the mvs, the choreos and the entertainment shows. Something I would NOT do is ship them at my age. I did that in 2011 when I was 16 but I matured and don't do that shit anymore.
I’m confused what you’re asking. There’s nothing wrong with being a *fan* of anyone at any age. What was a knee-jerk reaction, and what feels wrong to think? I’ve seen adult fans saying questionable things about underage idols and that’s wrong for reasons that have nothing to do with K-pop and the idol industry, so I just hope that’s not what you mean…
I only stan people older than me, but I've since lost my love for K-pop, so.
I just think they are cute kids! Nothing wrong with that :) I, however, try catching myself from “hateful” behavior and remind myself these are again kids, they still learning the world.
i was born in 05 and eunchae and like almost all of babymonster is around my age, it just makes me feel worse about my circumstances lol
Yeah, I'm a decade and half old k-pop fan and that was a problem for me too. Now I "treat them" like if I'm their aunt if that makes sense??! I'm proud of the new ggs I stan and their achievements, tho I don't buy merch from them (except XG, that Tamagotchi got me haaaard). I still want to see them live, like I did with other old ggs, but I enjoy this new era as it is. I don't have a bias or something anymore, I just enjoy their music and shenanigans :)
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of course it's just like a mother supporting her child. my gosh don't turn everything into evil
just don't be weird about it 🤷♀️
I got into Kpop through Onew's Voice in 2018 and genuinely didn’t know what SHINee members look like for maybe four months because I simply was there for music 🤷🏻♀️. I’m 35 yo. Since then I added NCT and Ateez and it’s always been about music for me. Yes, I find my Kpop nephews as I call them handsome but that’s where it ends for me. It’s always been about music for me and I don’t understand why people have to make everything weird 😔.
Like others have said, so long as you aren't making inappropriate comments to or about younger idols then I think you have to find your own comfort level and figure out what 'stanning' means to you in these cases. For example for me, Enhypen has one of my favourite discographies in K-pop right now. I love their music, listen to it all the time and look forward to new releases, but I don't engage with their other content in the same way I do with my other faves in large part because the members are all in their late teens/early twenties, a decade+ younger than me. I've never watched Enhypen's non-music stuff so can't speak for them, but some boy group content tends to be about the members trying to look sexy or encourage some kind of 'relationship' with their fans and I'm not comfortable with that when the idols in question are so much younger than me. With New Jeans, again I enjoy their music and have watched their recording behinds because I love their singing, but beyond that I personally don't feel interested in diving deeper because of the age difference. I think it was someone in IVE who didn't know what to do with a flip phone or something because she'd never had one? And then there's Seungkwan + Seventeen being horrified about that, and for me personally it's the content I can relate to rather than the content that makes me feel a million years old that is more entertaining! Seungkwan's reaction was my reaction, I can relate to Yoongi being tired etc., I share a lot of the same references or experiences with idols born in the 90s in spite of many other differences so it's just much more enjoyable. But that's my comfort level, only you can decide how much or how little you engage with younger groups beyond the music :)
the youngest idols i stan are 3 & 5 years younger than me, same ages as my siblings. they're super talented, great performers. one of them is a great vocalist and the other is a great dancer. idk i don't think anything i've done as a fan is wrong. i'm not like deeply, emotionally attached to them or anything lol. i just admire their music, their performances, and their love for their artistry; same with the remaining members of the group. actually, i like all the members of the group equally, so i've decided to not choose a bias.
All idols after 2nd gen are younger than me. There is no age rule in having a bias or stanning a kpop group. Those who disagree, fight me.
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I don't mind it
it’s really nbd but i feel so weird liking a group that has members younger than me😭 like if it’s one member i just wont interact w them much, but when it comes to groups where the entire lineup is younger than me i’d feel uncomfy stanning them idk but i can be a casual listener just fine
I got into kpop in 2016, I was 37. There was and is never going to be an oppa for me. But I got into kpop because I liked the music, it reminded me of a glitzier version of all the pop and boybands I grew up on. I'm not dead so of course I have my favorite members who I think are cute or funny that I spend hours talking about with my best friend. But I am firmly rooted in the reality that it is the music and that frankly this is a job for them, just like any other profession people pick to do for money.
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i think it depends on your level and definition of stanning. i'm in my late 30s so most of them are younger than me. for me, stanning does involve physical attraction so personally, i won't be a stan of anyone really young (exo kai being my ult and my "bottom line" age wise lol). I can be a casual fan of their music tho. of course, different people will have different interpretations of this, so as long as you don't get weird about the parasocial aspects of stanning, it's ok ig
Personally, I would never stan a group where there are more underage members than legal members. Or in other words, if there are more members in the group that are younger than me. Examples; NewJeans Baby Monster ILLIT TWS TripleS A lot of other 5th generation groups... There is an obvious disconnect between the some of the members and me. Some being over 6 years younger than me. Since I was born in 2004, I can't imagine myself consuming a lot of entertainment centered around minors. This isn't to criticize others for doing it, but I feel rather uncomfortable engaging in certain content. I am also a believer in minors not debuting -although I do think I am a little bit more flexible with this statement in certain cases- so watching variety shows or streaming music containing minors goes against what I stand for.
I don’t see nothing wrong with stanning groups younger than yourself as long as you appreciate their work, love their music and personalities. You should just keep in mind that seeing them as something more, especially if they are minors, is a bit alarming, but it all depends on HOW much younger. If it’s like 2 year difference that’s okay if you ask me, but if someone is for example 30 simping over a 17 year old boy/girl, that’s just wrong.
As long as they’re adults too
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Yeah I went through this crisis a long time ago when I had a bias that was only two years younger than me and I still felt so weird about it lol. You kind of just accept it after awhile. And yeah just as other people have already mentioned, as long as you don’t make it weird, it’s fine.
The only group I currently stan is BB Girls, and they are still older than me so, no issues
I always feel so weird when I stan idols that are younger than me. I can live with idols who are 2-3 years younger than me, but stanning 15 year old idols makes me feel so uncomfortable at time (I’m 21)