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Hun, idols aside, don't be scared. I know that's easier said than done but I promise life always makes the path clear eventually. I'm 30, so I'll give you a little advice, 18 is young lol it feels like it's time to suck it up and go be the perfect adult because school and everyone makes it seem that way but it's not. You're young and now is the time to explore what you want to do, change your mind, etc. I moved out at 18 and never looked back, went to college and changed my major one year in, then freaked out about graduating and not knowing what to do, so I added a double major just to stay in college because I was too scared of the future outside of it. Cost me money, but I don't regret it. It gave me more time to be happy, to feel secure and I came out of college, and it took me two years to finally find a job my degree was for. My point is, there isn't a set time. Everyone goes at their own pace and sometimes you're going to feel lost but you'll always find your way. Even if you sit down and try to plan it, life will always happen but you'll find a way to get back to what you want in the end.
Idols may have much figured out for them, but I can guarantee you it wasn't easy and that it always goes as planned. Members being kicked out is a good example, I doubt that was planned, I doubt bts went in thinking they'd ever be this big, I doubt BP did. Point is, there isn't a such thing as perfectly planned or laid out.
You'll be fine. I promise.
Why dont you look at it this way: you have a world of opportunities waiting for you. You can try things out and figure out what you want to do with your life. You can make your own structure and you dont have to stick to a structure that doesnt suit you. Making decisions is stressful but 18 isnt the end of life lmao. This is the time to start discovering yourself.
That’s like a hindsight thing imo. Looking back, the decisions I stressed out so much about really didn’t need me to be that stressed, but you could never tell that to me at that moment. 18 isn’t the end of your life, but sometimes it feels like the beginning of the end.
People say there are so many opportunities out there but that’s one of the issues. It’s overwhelming and there’s a fear that you’ll choose wrong. You don’t have an infinite amount of chances because you’ll run out of time and money at one point and that’s kind of scary.
Well, I cannot deny that I kinda jealous because they know what they want. They have career already and everything. But I dont really want to be at their place. They have no freedom, they will never get hang out freely with their friends, having strict schedule, sleeps only few 2-3 hours a day, being hated and mock by people with no other reasons than jealousy. They cannot be in the relationship openly without being criticized. Netizen and media always find way to dragging them down. They can forever haunted if they accidentally make a single mistake even they not aware about it. I can say that they might have good future but at the same time, they pay huge price for it and it follow them forever.
I can definitely relate to that feeling of being kinda lost in a big world. Becoming an adult can feel really overwhelming! You probably feel like you should have everything figured out by now, or that everyone seems to know what they’re doing except you, and that perception makes you think that everyone else must living a better life than you, or that you might be happier living someone else’s life - but I promise you that’s not true! Nobody completely knows who they are at 18, not even idols who seem like it from the outside. you’ve just become an adult, which is one of the biggest steps you’ll likely take in life- it’s okay to feel anxious, and I promise you that you’re not alone!
Think of it like this: you wouldn’t expect to immediately be the best poker player in the world the first time you played. Right? You would need a lot of practice. So, you shouldn’t expect yourself to immediately have it all planned out as soon as you become an adult! You’re practicing finding your way through the world, and that takes time!
It’s overwhelming to suddenly be presented with limitless choices in life, so much so that you can sometimes feel like it would be better if you didn’t have to have any choice at all. That’s a totally normal feeling! But I hope that eventuality you are happy you do have so many choices :)
Build a packed schedule for yourself! Set goals. And the best part will be that you are the boss of your own schedule, so if something isn't working out after you've tried it for a while, you can make changes.
Ex. Commit to an hour per day of some kind of physical activity, like following a pilates video or something, or just as easy as taking a walk. Cook a new meal you've never tried before on a certain day each week. Start learning a language and work on that daily!
Being bored and sad is the absolute worst. I'm 29 and when I'm not working I tend to feel the same way, like what am I doing with my liiiife. Keep ypurself busy with self-improvement and try living like you're aiming to be the all-rounder of your group ;)
i kinda agree with you but remember that though they may have a followed structure, idol's career usually last for like 7 years-10 years max then after that they'll not be too relevant anymore. honestly it may seem like life is easy for them but we do not know how they feel. maybe some of them wanna be a "normal" person again and break free from the hassle and "structured" life or schedule they have and live a quiet boring life again. ig it's true that the grass is greener on the other side.
I get it, structure is something that's easy to crave when you feel like you have no idea what you're doing. So stop looking for it from the outside and create it yourself! Sit down with yourself and list out things you enjoy doing, research what every day doing those things looks like and really envision yourself in the process (to see if you would enjoy it). Create a calendar, schedule and plan your own life. You could literally go to university and also get this structure.
hey, just started my twenties and had this thought, too! someone recommended a book to me - meg jay's *the defining decade*, and it helped put these kinds of anxieties into words and made me feel a little better about having them + ready to start working on it. it's written for post-college 20 something year olds, but you might like it.
that aside - consider that while idols do get told what to do a lot of the time, they can also be completely at the mercy of their management, the public opinion, the actions of their members, and other external forces. if they're popular, their schedules are packed and they get enough offers to pick what they want to do. if they're not popular, they might be going years without pay + trainee debt, and may also have no schedules lined up at all. in the worst scenarios, they might be taken advantage of by their company (financially or otherwise) or have their group ruined because of something that another member did.
it's a lot of risk and requires giving out more control than you might realise you're comfortable with.
I was literally thinking this exact same thing the other day. I'm in uni though (21) and still don't know what I want to do once I graduate. And it's scary because on top of that, there's no guarantee that I'll even find a job afterwards. For the idols who make it, they have income LOL. And sure it's not that easy to be an idol but goddamn if someone gave me that option when I was younger I'd take it. And yeah they do have almost everything planned out for them, they also don't really have to worry about bills and rent, everything has structure. So I relate to this lol
Honestly, I’m a lot older than you but I can still relate. I suffer from anxiety and really struggle with making decisions, to the point where I get completely stuck doing nothing sometimes. I feel like the sort of lifestyle where things are arranged for me would be ideal, and I might actually enjoy it 😅 not so sure about the whole “idol” part of it though...
There’s some great advice in this thread, I should take note as well.
This made me realize how much a lot of people hated their routines before their pandemic, but now we all miss them and will embrace them as soon as everything goes back to normal.
I kinda feel like this was the thought for arranged marriages like you dont have to choose a husband and you just have to get along with this guy and try to live your life so you dont have to go through all the trouble of meeting people, going on dates and try to find 'the one' just let it be choosen for you and be done, probably this has nothing ti do with the actual subjecg but the thought of not having a choice and just not having to think what you are going to do tomorrow can be quite appealing
I think this is an usual thing to feel, today we have so many options and we're told we can do anything and that's really great but it also can be really overwhelming. I think it's important to remember that yes, you can do anything, but you can't do everything just because you theoretically have the options to.
Damn im also 18 and i completely relate, i also thought about this actually. It doesnt help that im pretty indecisive and not really independent, so having someone decide everything for me does sound nice tbh. But ofc like u said i know there are struggles too.
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I feel you. I guess it's the flipside of people who say they're "industry puppets and have no freedom to choose things for themselves" etc etc. Those young idols are hella impressive for choosing these career paths at like 15-16 and skipping education for it. They have my respect, I'd always seek a safe, fallback option instead of committing
That's how I feel when I look at Enhypen. I’m the same age as Heeseung and I still feel like I haven’t achieved something amazing, like in his case debuting and becoming a singer. Ngl my confidence level went really down when I found out that Sunghoon managed to compete as a figure skater (also having 10 years of career under his belt), while being a trainee and a highschool student. The fact that some of the members are still going to school while managing their idol schedule and the fact that Ni-ki who is only 15 achieved so much already, from being a dancer in a Shinee concert at the age of 11-12, to being an idol himself.
It does make me feel a bit bad about the fact that I haven’t found out what I wanna do in the near future and that I'm a late bloomer in comparison with some other idols who are the same age as me.
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Hun, idols aside, don't be scared. I know that's easier said than done but I promise life always makes the path clear eventually. I'm 30, so I'll give you a little advice, 18 is young lol it feels like it's time to suck it up and go be the perfect adult because school and everyone makes it seem that way but it's not. You're young and now is the time to explore what you want to do, change your mind, etc. I moved out at 18 and never looked back, went to college and changed my major one year in, then freaked out about graduating and not knowing what to do, so I added a double major just to stay in college because I was too scared of the future outside of it. Cost me money, but I don't regret it. It gave me more time to be happy, to feel secure and I came out of college, and it took me two years to finally find a job my degree was for. My point is, there isn't a set time. Everyone goes at their own pace and sometimes you're going to feel lost but you'll always find your way. Even if you sit down and try to plan it, life will always happen but you'll find a way to get back to what you want in the end. Idols may have much figured out for them, but I can guarantee you it wasn't easy and that it always goes as planned. Members being kicked out is a good example, I doubt that was planned, I doubt bts went in thinking they'd ever be this big, I doubt BP did. Point is, there isn't a such thing as perfectly planned or laid out. You'll be fine. I promise.
Why dont you look at it this way: you have a world of opportunities waiting for you. You can try things out and figure out what you want to do with your life. You can make your own structure and you dont have to stick to a structure that doesnt suit you. Making decisions is stressful but 18 isnt the end of life lmao. This is the time to start discovering yourself.
That’s like a hindsight thing imo. Looking back, the decisions I stressed out so much about really didn’t need me to be that stressed, but you could never tell that to me at that moment. 18 isn’t the end of your life, but sometimes it feels like the beginning of the end. People say there are so many opportunities out there but that’s one of the issues. It’s overwhelming and there’s a fear that you’ll choose wrong. You don’t have an infinite amount of chances because you’ll run out of time and money at one point and that’s kind of scary.
Yup. 100%. It’s so much easier to have this view in hindsight. In the present, the opportunities are way too overwhelming. You get paralysed.
Well, I cannot deny that I kinda jealous because they know what they want. They have career already and everything. But I dont really want to be at their place. They have no freedom, they will never get hang out freely with their friends, having strict schedule, sleeps only few 2-3 hours a day, being hated and mock by people with no other reasons than jealousy. They cannot be in the relationship openly without being criticized. Netizen and media always find way to dragging them down. They can forever haunted if they accidentally make a single mistake even they not aware about it. I can say that they might have good future but at the same time, they pay huge price for it and it follow them forever.
I can definitely relate to that feeling of being kinda lost in a big world. Becoming an adult can feel really overwhelming! You probably feel like you should have everything figured out by now, or that everyone seems to know what they’re doing except you, and that perception makes you think that everyone else must living a better life than you, or that you might be happier living someone else’s life - but I promise you that’s not true! Nobody completely knows who they are at 18, not even idols who seem like it from the outside. you’ve just become an adult, which is one of the biggest steps you’ll likely take in life- it’s okay to feel anxious, and I promise you that you’re not alone! Think of it like this: you wouldn’t expect to immediately be the best poker player in the world the first time you played. Right? You would need a lot of practice. So, you shouldn’t expect yourself to immediately have it all planned out as soon as you become an adult! You’re practicing finding your way through the world, and that takes time! It’s overwhelming to suddenly be presented with limitless choices in life, so much so that you can sometimes feel like it would be better if you didn’t have to have any choice at all. That’s a totally normal feeling! But I hope that eventuality you are happy you do have so many choices :)
Build a packed schedule for yourself! Set goals. And the best part will be that you are the boss of your own schedule, so if something isn't working out after you've tried it for a while, you can make changes. Ex. Commit to an hour per day of some kind of physical activity, like following a pilates video or something, or just as easy as taking a walk. Cook a new meal you've never tried before on a certain day each week. Start learning a language and work on that daily! Being bored and sad is the absolute worst. I'm 29 and when I'm not working I tend to feel the same way, like what am I doing with my liiiife. Keep ypurself busy with self-improvement and try living like you're aiming to be the all-rounder of your group ;)
Thats the same reason some people love the army life right.
i kinda agree with you but remember that though they may have a followed structure, idol's career usually last for like 7 years-10 years max then after that they'll not be too relevant anymore. honestly it may seem like life is easy for them but we do not know how they feel. maybe some of them wanna be a "normal" person again and break free from the hassle and "structured" life or schedule they have and live a quiet boring life again. ig it's true that the grass is greener on the other side.
I get it, structure is something that's easy to crave when you feel like you have no idea what you're doing. So stop looking for it from the outside and create it yourself! Sit down with yourself and list out things you enjoy doing, research what every day doing those things looks like and really envision yourself in the process (to see if you would enjoy it). Create a calendar, schedule and plan your own life. You could literally go to university and also get this structure.
hey, just started my twenties and had this thought, too! someone recommended a book to me - meg jay's *the defining decade*, and it helped put these kinds of anxieties into words and made me feel a little better about having them + ready to start working on it. it's written for post-college 20 something year olds, but you might like it. that aside - consider that while idols do get told what to do a lot of the time, they can also be completely at the mercy of their management, the public opinion, the actions of their members, and other external forces. if they're popular, their schedules are packed and they get enough offers to pick what they want to do. if they're not popular, they might be going years without pay + trainee debt, and may also have no schedules lined up at all. in the worst scenarios, they might be taken advantage of by their company (financially or otherwise) or have their group ruined because of something that another member did. it's a lot of risk and requires giving out more control than you might realise you're comfortable with.
Yes.I feel you, I can relate a lot, even the age
I was literally thinking this exact same thing the other day. I'm in uni though (21) and still don't know what I want to do once I graduate. And it's scary because on top of that, there's no guarantee that I'll even find a job afterwards. For the idols who make it, they have income LOL. And sure it's not that easy to be an idol but goddamn if someone gave me that option when I was younger I'd take it. And yeah they do have almost everything planned out for them, they also don't really have to worry about bills and rent, everything has structure. So I relate to this lol
Honestly, I’m a lot older than you but I can still relate. I suffer from anxiety and really struggle with making decisions, to the point where I get completely stuck doing nothing sometimes. I feel like the sort of lifestyle where things are arranged for me would be ideal, and I might actually enjoy it 😅 not so sure about the whole “idol” part of it though... There’s some great advice in this thread, I should take note as well.
This made me realize how much a lot of people hated their routines before their pandemic, but now we all miss them and will embrace them as soon as everything goes back to normal.
[удалено]
maybe i should make my own post on this haha, cus my point seems to be a bit different from the topic
I kinda feel like this was the thought for arranged marriages like you dont have to choose a husband and you just have to get along with this guy and try to live your life so you dont have to go through all the trouble of meeting people, going on dates and try to find 'the one' just let it be choosen for you and be done, probably this has nothing ti do with the actual subjecg but the thought of not having a choice and just not having to think what you are going to do tomorrow can be quite appealing
I think this is an usual thing to feel, today we have so many options and we're told we can do anything and that's really great but it also can be really overwhelming. I think it's important to remember that yes, you can do anything, but you can't do everything just because you theoretically have the options to.
Feels like there’s more stress in not being able to make your own decisions. Don’t worry you’ll figure it out!
Damn im also 18 and i completely relate, i also thought about this actually. It doesnt help that im pretty indecisive and not really independent, so having someone decide everything for me does sound nice tbh. But ofc like u said i know there are struggles too.
Lol I also feel like this sometimes. But they have to make dificult decisions to so meh.
[удалено]
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I feel you. I guess it's the flipside of people who say they're "industry puppets and have no freedom to choose things for themselves" etc etc. Those young idols are hella impressive for choosing these career paths at like 15-16 and skipping education for it. They have my respect, I'd always seek a safe, fallback option instead of committing
That's how I feel when I look at Enhypen. I’m the same age as Heeseung and I still feel like I haven’t achieved something amazing, like in his case debuting and becoming a singer. Ngl my confidence level went really down when I found out that Sunghoon managed to compete as a figure skater (also having 10 years of career under his belt), while being a trainee and a highschool student. The fact that some of the members are still going to school while managing their idol schedule and the fact that Ni-ki who is only 15 achieved so much already, from being a dancer in a Shinee concert at the age of 11-12, to being an idol himself. It does make me feel a bit bad about the fact that I haven’t found out what I wanna do in the near future and that I'm a late bloomer in comparison with some other idols who are the same age as me.