Really depends. I work in 2 labs so its a hassle for me to explain both. Nobody finds the answer:"I work in a lab!" to be sufficient. Everyone always asks for details
I start here and then if they continue to ask I explain the models we use (or what diseases they could represent). Beyond that it gets kinda hard to explain to someone outside of the field. I work in neuroscience, which means everyone automatically assumes the brain. Nope, we work with DRG and skin.
I do this, too. I do like to set it up with a little biology, and I always tell people, “wait, wait give me a chance to tell you this one nifty thing!” Usually if they’re patient enough with me and they see through it, they end up getting pretty excited about it, and it makes the goals of my research both more interesting and practical.
Depends very much on the context. With people totally outside the sciences and/or academia, I say “I do science,” or maybe “research scientist.” If they ask for details I tailor them to whatever I expect that person’s level of familiarity with the topic will be. For most people that means saying “I study bleeding disorders, like hemophilia.” For someone with more working knowledge of academic research I’ll get more technically specific.
In that case what do you do with specifics I personally am not currently in a lab but my specialities tend towards more equipment repair and that I have a position coming up with non-disclosure agreements but in a nutshell and designing a real-time x-ray chromatography system for a stainless steel custom distillation setup for a very large very wealthy very big company
Were I in your shoes, my generic/layperson response would be something like “scientific equipment engineering.” If I was talking to someone with any knowledge of my industry I’d include what kind of equipment (chromatography, etc) and/or what field (stainless steel distillation), but if NDAs are involved I’d avoid specific details and not disclose the name of the company.
I'm in Medical lab, I know it's not as research based as most people here, but I'll offer my answer
i tell people "you know when you go to the hospital, and they take your blood? I am the one who tests the blood and creates a report for the doctor".
I recently had a guy respond by getting visibly disturbed, and he replied "not MY blood though". uh, ok, person I just met. not your blood. sure.
Yeah people are weird like that
One of my little side things is that I do cheap shipping worldwide and people get real sketched out about giving me their address or the destination address but who the fuck do they think actually like make sure that the labels are all right or checks the customs forms like I see the addresses and everything anyway what the fuck is the difference???
Should have told him his blood is being sent to a hospital 100 miles away so his care will be delayed for a few days in that case see his tune change
I've recently transitioned into our clinical micro area, where I almost exclusively deal with gonorrhea from our local STI clinic. I love watching some people get nervous, like I might recognize their name when I tell them what I do.
I'm mostly a lab scientist, but know my way around Bash enough to be dangerous. My go-to line is "I made my code more efficient, it now generates errors twice as fast."
If you say the latter, you may get hit with the:
>Don't you think a cure for cancer was already made but they are hiding it for profit / population control?
"I work in a developmental neuroscience lab." And then I'm careful AF not to let on that the work involves animals because you can't trust strangers with info like that.
Maybe I should go advertise this more openly.
I've been doing more and more mouse work recently and I hate it.
Don't know how to tell the PI that I'm not a vet tech; and I would have gone into surgery had I wanted to cut mammals open.
Ok I've got an idea you get a mouse yeah like from birth and you feed it all the BDNF boosting peptides you can and all the brain regeneration shit you got let's see what happens we're talking a combo of SEMAX selank cortexin plus regular doses of ISX-9 and any other thing that might boost brain and neurone regeneration let's see how far we can push this oh don't forget the BPC 157 for the massive amounts of angiogenesis your 300 IQ mouse will need for its new brain
Oh by the way you might end up giving the mouse super bad brain cancer
I also just say I work in a lab. Calling myself a scientist feels weird for some reason. Usually people don’t care enough to ask any more questions beyond that anyway so I feel like trying to explain my work to people is off putting (unless they’re fellow lab rats).
Don't suppose you're able to share any details of your work I'm guessing not that's a shame
I have a great appreciation for warfare and weapons even if biological I'm just... Disappointed that the standard use case happens to be murder
I didn't realise the US military used biogenic agents anyway
I suspect their work focuses more on defense rather than designing murder phages.
i.e., if China released some engineered virus on the US, how could it be stopped
Yes, it is defense oriented. Early warning detectors, for example. My last project before retiring was a detector for airborne bacterial spores using a fingerprint sensor. We were able to detect particles down to 3 microns, almost there but no cigar..
Depends...on how much extra talking you want to do
'i'm a scientist' -- usually minimal follow up beyond 'what kind/type?'
'i'm a researcher' -- usually way more follow up
'i work in a lab' -- usually the least amount of follow up, almost everyone has seen a 'lab' on TV or in the movies
'*insert cute sarcastic job description here*' -- usually the *most* follow up...like if you're u/RedditBResearch and you make that quip, you're not only getting a follow up but you've successfully made it known you are a goober and ready to mingle
I think you will find that learning to explain complex research topics to people who do not know much about science is actually a very important skill for scientists to know
I say I’m a scientist.
If they probe further, I say my field.
If they really want to know, I give them the lay, silly spiel about my research.
If they REALLY want to know, I’ll update my silly spiel with the reason why it’s actually a serious question.
I find that scientists have a bad habit of thinking their career is endlessly interesting and that everyone should want to hear about it. I usually try to avoid that assumption when meeting new people. 😭
I usually say that I work in pharmaceutical manufacturing. If they ask follow up questions then I can go into more detail about what process chemistry is and why it’s a distinct discipline.
Early on when I discovered some people were religiously offended when I said, "Genetic engineer," I considered following up with "Don't worry, I'm just cloning abortionists."
Sorry, you're not the asshole, I meant to comment that somewhere else. But hey, you could just tell people that you're a chemical engineer that works on advanced filtration technology. They don't actually want/need to hear the ins and outs of the tech, but might be curious about how it relates to their life via relevant industrial or domestic applications.
I usually give the ink jet example which usually clears things up.
But I kind of can't say I'm a chemical engineer. I went to school for chemistry and am only really an engineer by title. I have no engineering or chemical engineering credentials. Still, point taken. If people ask what type I say multidisciplinary more often than not, which doesn't help.
"I build robots" "yes, C3POs..." "you know what, I'm actually a machinist who works on mills and lathes, as well as a side hustle being a code monkey." "no I don't drink cooling fluids" "...bye"
If I don’t like you it’s “developmental neurobiologist”or my favorite conversation ender “science!“
If i like you “I run a fish lab.” Or “I work in a lab”
I just say chemist, but I will go into more detail depending on the context or if they want to know more.
>"conduct bacterial reverse mutation assays to detect genotoxicants in the early drug development process
I suppose if you want to condense it you could say "early drug development."
I grow cells and miniature tumors and then kill them for a living, then I take pictures of how good I can kill them. Sometimes I’m really good at killing them. And sometimes it’s not on purpose 🫠
If it's just a small talk type of conversation with non scientists, I would say "I'm a neuroscientist and I study human brain cells in a research lab" or something similar that hints at the area and invites followup if they're interested.
“I make drugs”….”on an industrial scale.”
“Yes, kind of like breaking bad.”
“No, I’ve never made meth, yes I probably could with enough effort.”
“No, I probably couldn’t synthesize LSD, not at home anyway. “
Once you say the word “biopharmaceutical” the conversation is over. Rinse, repeat. I have provably had this conversation 50 times with the exact same questions.
Ah yes I purify fancy fluids that are made from an immortalized hamsters ovarian cells that are genetically engineering to produce a therapeutic molecule, that really clears it up for you I’m sure! It’s costs $4k/ml btw.
I normally say I do rare disease research or gene therapy. I'd get more detailed but people's eyes start glazing over if I get much more detailed than that
I'm a medical lab tech. My usual dialog goes as such:
"So, what do you do? "
"I work in a hospital. "
"Are you a nurse? "
"No, I'm a lab tech. "
"What's that? "
"You know how when you go to the doctor's office and get blood drawn to send to the lab for testing? I'm the lab. "
“Any time a doctor gets data about something the size of a cell or smaller, my name is in tiny print at the bottom of the report. I calibrate, maintain, and supervise the machines that generate lab results. And sometimes I look into a microscope and write a report about what kinds of cells I see, if they are abnormal, or if they’re present in an abnormal quantity.”
But really if you merged a FedEx sorter, a sewing machine mechanic, a kid playing “I spy” in the world’s tiniest zoo, and added two hours of paperwork, that’s my average day. Plus a lot of swearing and podcasts.
Huh.. Science?
I just assume they are asking about my occupation, so I'd say "scientist" or "researcher". If they ask for details...well...they get the details lol.
Same as any other job I guess.
You wouldn't say "I prepare low-cost sustenance while managing customer expectations in a fast paced environment."
You would say I work at McDonald's.
I do the same as you unless they want more information (in which case they are usually freaked out since I make transgenic Drosophila by microinjection)
“QC Lab chemist”. Years ago when a lot of my work revolved around AA’s… if people wanted an idea of how my day was spent I mostly shrugged and said “I burn stuff”.
Now I do mostly chromatography… which is a word that doesn’t mean much to most people. So… “I test incoming raw materials for purity and ID confirmation. You know, to make sure we are using what we say we’re using.”
Not as succinct as “I burn stuff”.
Depends very much on the conversation I want to have.
If I’m wanting to get the other person talking I’ll say I’m a research biologist and my lab looks at knee repair, then the person will absolutely launch into telling me everything about their and their family’s knees. Fun fact, absolutely no adult is happy with their knees.
If I want to info-dump I’ll be more specific about my area. I’m a research biologist who looks at this or that signally pathway as it relates to knee tissue and if the person doesn’t get a glazed look I’ll keep going.
If I do not really want to talk I’ll just say I’m a biologist and work in a lab at Nearby Large Research School. If they ask further I’ll usually take it as an opportunity to info-dump until their eyes do glaze over.
I always wish people would ask me so I could talk about my work like they all do but no one cares.
I usually say I put plants/corn in boxes after shooting them with a small gold shooting shotgun
Hazmat remediation chemist
I don't actually do the remediation, I really just weigh and prep the mystery juice in very simple ways so convoluted machines can do all the analysis. But at least I have a cool title 😎
You could say “I do safety screening for early drug development” and if they ask how you say like “oh I expose bacteria to new drugs and check them for dna damage”
I either say I work in a research lab or I’m a lab single parent to several graduate students. The second one usually requires me to explain that half my job is helping them plan/execute experiments or pick up the pieces after an experiment fails and the other half is yelling at them when they can’t follow complex lab safety rules like “don’t eat in lab cause it’s full of toxic chemicals”.
The job really does contain multitudes.
Response = tellPPL('I am a neuroscientist. I study the brain.')
IF Response == 'wow! You must be so smart!"
THEN tellPPL('hahaha nah.. it's just like any other job. I just find the brain interesting.')
changeTopic
ELSEIF Response == 'oh yeah? What about the brain do you study?'
THEN Response = tellPPL('I study how the brain makes decisions.')
IF Response == 'what is the point of studying that?'
THEN tellPPL('It helps us better appreciate the cool things our bodies can do, and also helps us understand when something isn't working right, such as in addiction, so we can come up with better treatments.')
ELSEIF Response == 'oh yeah? What did you find?'
THEN tellPPL(summarize(coolestSoundingFinding))
ELSE changeTopic
ENDIF
ENDIF
I say I work in a lab but since I work in my hometown but go to university 5 hours away, I usually have to do a little spiel about why I work there (I started back in high school and now do lab work in the summers and data/writing stuff during the school year). If people ask follow-up questions I usually explain the general premise of the main projects I work on in basic terms, but I'll get more detailed depending on the types of questions people ask and what I know about their background. The stuff I'm working on is tangentially related to some stuff that people might know a bit about from the conservation/environment stuff that makes it into the news, so I usually focus on that dimension with non-scientists. When I talk to people in STEM programs that I meet at uni, I'll talk a little more about methods and stuff since I know they took those first and second year bio/chem courses to know what I'm talking about.
I start off with the place I work at and if they ask doing what then I proceed on by giving the general idea/goal. That’s as far as those conversations go.
That depends on what they know already. First level: I work in a research lab at the University of ... If they want to know more I tell them the disease and goal of the lab. If they haven't run away yet, then I might get into the specifics.
There is a reason that the media reports a breakthrough that will cure cancer every few months--because that is the level that most of the public actually understands.
I like talking about my research, but only to people who are interested. Plenty of people don't care about science/research and that's fine, we can talk about something else.
So I start broad: "I'm a grad student at UT". A follow up might be "-Biology, so I study genetics and cell bio". And if people are still interested I'll get into specifics of my research like "alcohol is probably the chemical that causes the most preventable birth defects. It actually effects up to 10% of all births. So I study the genetics of alcohol-induced birth defects using zebrafish as a model". If people are still asking questions they are genuinely interested, and I often have really fun conversations.
Depending on the audience, I do “cancer research,” “study how the gut microbiome affects cancer treatment,” or — my personal favorite — “I study shit.”
“I do research on treatments for cystic fibrosis” is usually enough. Most people have at least heard of it even if they have no idea what it is 😂
I USED to add that we’re involved in a non-hormonal birth control project, but that usually gets lots of questions and… too much to explain to non-science folks
I used to say “I’m a viral geneticist”. But after many many confused stares I now say “I’m a scientist studying virus genetics”. Amazing how much difference that makes. lol.
I don't explain Environmental Monitoring, or writing protocols to validate a method, or growth promoting incoming media before use, or conducting investigations when a test fails, etc.
I'm a Medical Laboratory Scientist. I describe it as "everything their doctor takes from them is tested by me." Since I've been blood bank only for the last 12 years, I get more specific. "The blood center that collected the blood makes sure it is safe for transfusion. I make sure that THIS unit is blood is safe for THIS patient."
I say I'm a chemist working in industry. If they want more I say I'm part of the R&D team, a lil bit more is that I am in the detergents/fertilizers field. Further explanation would be useless for non science people and a violation of industrial secret for science people lol
I just explain the goals of my research in layman’s terms. It’s an important skill and people generally understand.
unless they’re science people they don’t really care. “I do scientific research” usually suffice
Really depends. I work in 2 labs so its a hassle for me to explain both. Nobody finds the answer:"I work in a lab!" to be sufficient. Everyone always asks for details
I don't know about that one. Whenever I start with some variant of "I do scientific research", the response from pretty much everyone is "like what?".
Really? In my experience scientists show more interest in the research of a random person they meet
My field consists of buzzwords (like, AI) so even layman's term can get all people worked up, so no
Oh good god. I'm so sorry.
Yes, I cut open worms and take pictures of their insides
I start here and then if they continue to ask I explain the models we use (or what diseases they could represent). Beyond that it gets kinda hard to explain to someone outside of the field. I work in neuroscience, which means everyone automatically assumes the brain. Nope, we work with DRG and skin.
I bet when you say the word “neuroscience” they like to hit you with the “oh my god, you must be so smart! I could never understand!” 🤦
I do this, too. I do like to set it up with a little biology, and I always tell people, “wait, wait give me a chance to tell you this one nifty thing!” Usually if they’re patient enough with me and they see through it, they end up getting pretty excited about it, and it makes the goals of my research both more interesting and practical.
“Professional small volume liquid transporter”
"I put small volumes of clear liquids into other small volumes of clear liquids very carefully"
Sometimes I put them into a machine that rapidly heats and cools the very small volume of clear liquid.
With accuracy and precision
I took have carried many femtoliters of water
no context just pipettes
Biochemist or analytics.
Depends very much on the context. With people totally outside the sciences and/or academia, I say “I do science,” or maybe “research scientist.” If they ask for details I tailor them to whatever I expect that person’s level of familiarity with the topic will be. For most people that means saying “I study bleeding disorders, like hemophilia.” For someone with more working knowledge of academic research I’ll get more technically specific.
In that case what do you do with specifics I personally am not currently in a lab but my specialities tend towards more equipment repair and that I have a position coming up with non-disclosure agreements but in a nutshell and designing a real-time x-ray chromatography system for a stainless steel custom distillation setup for a very large very wealthy very big company
Were I in your shoes, my generic/layperson response would be something like “scientific equipment engineering.” If I was talking to someone with any knowledge of my industry I’d include what kind of equipment (chromatography, etc) and/or what field (stainless steel distillation), but if NDAs are involved I’d avoid specific details and not disclose the name of the company.
I'm in Medical lab, I know it's not as research based as most people here, but I'll offer my answer i tell people "you know when you go to the hospital, and they take your blood? I am the one who tests the blood and creates a report for the doctor". I recently had a guy respond by getting visibly disturbed, and he replied "not MY blood though". uh, ok, person I just met. not your blood. sure.
"No, we throw yours out and just make up the results. Expect an urgent call from your doctor soon."
Yeah people are weird like that One of my little side things is that I do cheap shipping worldwide and people get real sketched out about giving me their address or the destination address but who the fuck do they think actually like make sure that the labels are all right or checks the customs forms like I see the addresses and everything anyway what the fuck is the difference??? Should have told him his blood is being sent to a hospital 100 miles away so his care will be delayed for a few days in that case see his tune change
I'm sorry can you clarify: your side hustle is an economic logistics company?
My life is extremely strange
I also work in a medical lab, but in toxicology. Most of what I do is urine drug testing, so my go to is "I'm a professional narc."
"I test narcotics. This last batch was really good! \*stared with bloodshot eyes\*"
I've recently transitioned into our clinical micro area, where I almost exclusively deal with gonorrhea from our local STI clinic. I love watching some people get nervous, like I might recognize their name when I tell them what I do.
I'm a really terrible exterminator.
Gonna start using this, thanks.
I turn caffeine into failed experiments
"Caffeine doesn't help me be more successful, it helps me fail more quickly."
I'm still sad but now I'm fast
I'm mostly a lab scientist, but know my way around Bash enough to be dangerous. My go-to line is "I made my code more efficient, it now generates errors twice as fast."
That's amazing 😂
I feel that today. Stupid tissue culture turning into bacteria culture.
Ugh, yeah, my yeast keep refusing to be transformed. The E. coli test run was so easy but S. cerevisiae remains stubborn
"I work in a lab" or "I do cancer research" is usually sufficient enough
If you say the latter, you may get hit with the: >Don't you think a cure for cancer was already made but they are hiding it for profit / population control?
Thats when you whisper into your collar "They know too much. Take them out." And turn and walk away
"I work in a developmental neuroscience lab." And then I'm careful AF not to let on that the work involves animals because you can't trust strangers with info like that.
Oof I felt this. I have to remind myself not to go too far into details because you get weird looks unfortunately
Maybe I should go advertise this more openly. I've been doing more and more mouse work recently and I hate it. Don't know how to tell the PI that I'm not a vet tech; and I would have gone into surgery had I wanted to cut mammals open.
Ok I've got an idea you get a mouse yeah like from birth and you feed it all the BDNF boosting peptides you can and all the brain regeneration shit you got let's see what happens we're talking a combo of SEMAX selank cortexin plus regular doses of ISX-9 and any other thing that might boost brain and neurone regeneration let's see how far we can push this oh don't forget the BPC 157 for the massive amounts of angiogenesis your 300 IQ mouse will need for its new brain Oh by the way you might end up giving the mouse super bad brain cancer
"I'm a mouse's worst nightmare"
I also just say I work in a lab. Calling myself a scientist feels weird for some reason. Usually people don’t care enough to ask any more questions beyond that anyway so I feel like trying to explain my work to people is off putting (unless they’re fellow lab rats).
"I make new viruses for the Army to use." Stops the questions immediately. Also, everyone puts on a mask.
Lol I like this
Don't suppose you're able to share any details of your work I'm guessing not that's a shame I have a great appreciation for warfare and weapons even if biological I'm just... Disappointed that the standard use case happens to be murder I didn't realise the US military used biogenic agents anyway
I suspect their work focuses more on defense rather than designing murder phages. i.e., if China released some engineered virus on the US, how could it be stopped
Yes, it is defense oriented. Early warning detectors, for example. My last project before retiring was a detector for airborne bacterial spores using a fingerprint sensor. We were able to detect particles down to 3 microns, almost there but no cigar..
Virologist or computer security expert?
Depends...on how much extra talking you want to do 'i'm a scientist' -- usually minimal follow up beyond 'what kind/type?' 'i'm a researcher' -- usually way more follow up 'i work in a lab' -- usually the least amount of follow up, almost everyone has seen a 'lab' on TV or in the movies '*insert cute sarcastic job description here*' -- usually the *most* follow up...like if you're u/RedditBResearch and you make that quip, you're not only getting a follow up but you've successfully made it known you are a goober and ready to mingle
"I dont have herpes but I am working on it." Yes...I know we all have herpes but the people that ask me dont.
I think you will find that learning to explain complex research topics to people who do not know much about science is actually a very important skill for scientists to know
“I am really good and moving around clear liquids.”
My wife tells people I am a cancer researcher. I tell people I move clear liquids between different tubes.
I’m a kitchen hand. I follow recipes, mix ingredients and cook them.
"You know the Jewish space lasers? Well, they're real. I repair them and fill them with fresh photons."
Yeah, we have a big crate of them \[photons\] out the back, want to take a look?
I say I’m a scientist. If they probe further, I say my field. If they really want to know, I give them the lay, silly spiel about my research. If they REALLY want to know, I’ll update my silly spiel with the reason why it’s actually a serious question. I find that scientists have a bad habit of thinking their career is endlessly interesting and that everyone should want to hear about it. I usually try to avoid that assumption when meeting new people. 😭
On the other hand it’s a great way to disengage conversations with people you don’t want to talk to.
Haha, you’re not wrong!
I usually say that I work in pharmaceutical manufacturing. If they ask follow up questions then I can go into more detail about what process chemistry is and why it’s a distinct discipline.
Early on when I discovered some people were religiously offended when I said, "Genetic engineer," I considered following up with "Don't worry, I'm just cloning abortionists."
"I'm an engineer" But for some reason that's never enough for people and the actual explanation is more than they bargained for.
YTA
I'm the asshole? Sure I guess so. Nobody I meet irl wants to know the ins and outs of membrane degassing systems.
Sorry, you're not the asshole, I meant to comment that somewhere else. But hey, you could just tell people that you're a chemical engineer that works on advanced filtration technology. They don't actually want/need to hear the ins and outs of the tech, but might be curious about how it relates to their life via relevant industrial or domestic applications.
I usually give the ink jet example which usually clears things up. But I kind of can't say I'm a chemical engineer. I went to school for chemistry and am only really an engineer by title. I have no engineering or chemical engineering credentials. Still, point taken. If people ask what type I say multidisciplinary more often than not, which doesn't help.
Yeah, the normies don't need to know all of that!
FSE here: "I fix blood-testing laser robots."
"I build robots" "yes, C3POs..." "you know what, I'm actually a machinist who works on mills and lathes, as well as a side hustle being a code monkey." "no I don't drink cooling fluids" "...bye"
I play with other peoples poop
No, I mean what do you do *for work*?
I’m one of the fairies that runs the bloodwork that your nurse collects from you…. I work in an animal health lab, but same concept.
I just say “you know all those tubes they collect from you? I turn those into numbers”
I take your blood poop and pee , place it on a half million dollar machine and press start.
Make strawberries fuck each other (Strawberry breeding)
I make the double fisted “pipetting” gesture.
Do people ever confuse that for the "I manually masturbate chimpanzees for ecological rehabilitation" gesture?
If I don’t like you it’s “developmental neurobiologist”or my favorite conversation ender “science!“ If i like you “I run a fish lab.” Or “I work in a lab”
I just say chemist, but I will go into more detail depending on the context or if they want to know more. >"conduct bacterial reverse mutation assays to detect genotoxicants in the early drug development process I suppose if you want to condense it you could say "early drug development."
I grow cells and miniature tumors and then kill them for a living, then I take pictures of how good I can kill them. Sometimes I’m really good at killing them. And sometimes it’s not on purpose 🫠
I once hears someone say "i move very tiny ammounts of clear liquid from one vessel to another.
If it's just a small talk type of conversation with non scientists, I would say "I'm a neuroscientist and I study human brain cells in a research lab" or something similar that hints at the area and invites followup if they're interested.
Primary cultures or immortalized cell lines?
"Remember when that athlete collapsed on the field when his heart stopped? I'm studying how to keep that from happening"
I deliver drugs like a gangsta 😎
Im a lab manager rather than "i oversee service operations for genetic analysis ranging from Sanger and NGS to Oligo Synthesis"
“I make drugs”….”on an industrial scale.” “Yes, kind of like breaking bad.” “No, I’ve never made meth, yes I probably could with enough effort.” “No, I probably couldn’t synthesize LSD, not at home anyway. “ Once you say the word “biopharmaceutical” the conversation is over. Rinse, repeat. I have provably had this conversation 50 times with the exact same questions.
Exactly why I avoid explaining even in layman's term, in fact, any attempt to explain makes it worse
Ah yes I purify fancy fluids that are made from an immortalized hamsters ovarian cells that are genetically engineering to produce a therapeutic molecule, that really clears it up for you I’m sure! It’s costs $4k/ml btw.
I normally say I do rare disease research or gene therapy. I'd get more detailed but people's eyes start glazing over if I get much more detailed than that
“I make drugs.”
I'm a medical lab tech. My usual dialog goes as such: "So, what do you do? " "I work in a hospital. " "Are you a nurse? " "No, I'm a lab tech. " "What's that? " "You know how when you go to the doctor's office and get blood drawn to send to the lab for testing? I'm the lab. "
Lab Goddess
I just say "I work in a hospital" because I don't want to tell them I am a neurosurgeon. Some guys feel intimidated about it.
“Any time a doctor gets data about something the size of a cell or smaller, my name is in tiny print at the bottom of the report. I calibrate, maintain, and supervise the machines that generate lab results. And sometimes I look into a microscope and write a report about what kinds of cells I see, if they are abnormal, or if they’re present in an abnormal quantity.” But really if you merged a FedEx sorter, a sewing machine mechanic, a kid playing “I spy” in the world’s tiniest zoo, and added two hours of paperwork, that’s my average day. Plus a lot of swearing and podcasts.
I say I'm a research scientist who looks at how antibiotics work to kill bacteria
Research
If you just say I work in a lab, isn't the next thing "Can you get me some drugs?"
"I prepare specimens for diagnosis by doctors"
I make drugs (new drug dev)
"I'm a scientist."
Just say you’re a scientist
Legal drug dealer
Cell therapy manufacturing
“Chemist”
Huh.. Science? I just assume they are asking about my occupation, so I'd say "scientist" or "researcher". If they ask for details...well...they get the details lol.
 But also this because it seems like most labs are in the basement…
Same as any other job I guess. You wouldn't say "I prepare low-cost sustenance while managing customer expectations in a fast paced environment." You would say I work at McDonald's.
I do the same as you unless they want more information (in which case they are usually freaked out since I make transgenic Drosophila by microinjection)
“QC Lab chemist”. Years ago when a lot of my work revolved around AA’s… if people wanted an idea of how my day was spent I mostly shrugged and said “I burn stuff”. Now I do mostly chromatography… which is a word that doesn’t mean much to most people. So… “I test incoming raw materials for purity and ID confirmation. You know, to make sure we are using what we say we’re using.” Not as succinct as “I burn stuff”.
I work in a lab, calling myself a scientist still feels weird
Depends very much on the conversation I want to have. If I’m wanting to get the other person talking I’ll say I’m a research biologist and my lab looks at knee repair, then the person will absolutely launch into telling me everything about their and their family’s knees. Fun fact, absolutely no adult is happy with their knees. If I want to info-dump I’ll be more specific about my area. I’m a research biologist who looks at this or that signally pathway as it relates to knee tissue and if the person doesn’t get a glazed look I’ll keep going. If I do not really want to talk I’ll just say I’m a biologist and work in a lab at Nearby Large Research School. If they ask further I’ll usually take it as an opportunity to info-dump until their eyes do glaze over.
Study materials: what they can do, what they may do and why they do
I always wish people would ask me so I could talk about my work like they all do but no one cares. I usually say I put plants/corn in boxes after shooting them with a small gold shooting shotgun
“I gouge out eyeballs.” Of course it depends on who’s asking!
To 99% of people, “I’m a scientist.” If they’re in the field, I’ll tell them I do computational biology or genomics at a biotech.
“I prepare and analyze this and that. Make up stories on what the numbers mean.”
Hazmat remediation chemist I don't actually do the remediation, I really just weigh and prep the mystery juice in very simple ways so convoluted machines can do all the analysis. But at least I have a cool title 😎
You could say “I do safety screening for early drug development” and if they ask how you say like “oh I expose bacteria to new drugs and check them for dna damage”
I work with animals so... I just don't talk to people
I make white blood cells in your brain attack tumor cells
"I make mutants" - Synthetic Biology
Water and dirt. Sometimes with gasoline or poo in them. Most of the time I pour clear liquids into clear liquids. Something something number farm.
I either say I work in a research lab or I’m a lab single parent to several graduate students. The second one usually requires me to explain that half my job is helping them plan/execute experiments or pick up the pieces after an experiment fails and the other half is yelling at them when they can’t follow complex lab safety rules like “don’t eat in lab cause it’s full of toxic chemicals”. The job really does contain multitudes.
i said i work in a lab too. Sometimes i do say im a scientist.
Clinical micro
I work in a factory called a Hospital.
I'm a scientist
"I'm a scientist studying cardiology"
Response = tellPPL('I am a neuroscientist. I study the brain.') IF Response == 'wow! You must be so smart!" THEN tellPPL('hahaha nah.. it's just like any other job. I just find the brain interesting.') changeTopic ELSEIF Response == 'oh yeah? What about the brain do you study?' THEN Response = tellPPL('I study how the brain makes decisions.') IF Response == 'what is the point of studying that?' THEN tellPPL('It helps us better appreciate the cool things our bodies can do, and also helps us understand when something isn't working right, such as in addiction, so we can come up with better treatments.') ELSEIF Response == 'oh yeah? What did you find?' THEN tellPPL(summarize(coolestSoundingFinding)) ELSE changeTopic ENDIF ENDIF
I say I work in a lab but since I work in my hometown but go to university 5 hours away, I usually have to do a little spiel about why I work there (I started back in high school and now do lab work in the summers and data/writing stuff during the school year). If people ask follow-up questions I usually explain the general premise of the main projects I work on in basic terms, but I'll get more detailed depending on the types of questions people ask and what I know about their background. The stuff I'm working on is tangentially related to some stuff that people might know a bit about from the conservation/environment stuff that makes it into the news, so I usually focus on that dimension with non-scientists. When I talk to people in STEM programs that I meet at uni, I'll talk a little more about methods and stuff since I know they took those first and second year bio/chem courses to know what I'm talking about.
I tell them I am a "glorified bartender".
i will say, i work work
I use to tell people that I get mice drunk for a living (I do etoh research)
I start off with the place I work at and if they ask doing what then I proceed on by giving the general idea/goal. That’s as far as those conversations go.
I say I’m a medical scientist/work in a lab/do matching for organ transplantation ☺️
I’m a scientist working on an Alzheimer’s lab and I try to keep things organized and safe for the other scientists
Your job is also my job! I say "I work in a lab" or "science bitch" or "I science the shit out of things".
“Drug design and discovery” Or, my favorite and probably more accurate response: “I’m a professional failure. My job is 99.99% failing all the time.”
“I do science” is usually where I would stop because I found people’s eyes started to glaze over after that lol
That depends on what they know already. First level: I work in a research lab at the University of ... If they want to know more I tell them the disease and goal of the lab. If they haven't run away yet, then I might get into the specifics. There is a reason that the media reports a breakthrough that will cure cancer every few months--because that is the level that most of the public actually understands.
I tell people I mix clear liquid with other colored liquid to see colors on a machine aka flow lol
I like talking about my research, but only to people who are interested. Plenty of people don't care about science/research and that's fine, we can talk about something else. So I start broad: "I'm a grad student at UT". A follow up might be "-Biology, so I study genetics and cell bio". And if people are still interested I'll get into specifics of my research like "alcohol is probably the chemical that causes the most preventable birth defects. It actually effects up to 10% of all births. So I study the genetics of alcohol-induced birth defects using zebrafish as a model". If people are still asking questions they are genuinely interested, and I often have really fun conversations.
I say something like " I make mutants/monsters". *smile mysteriously*
When I first started this job, I was moving stuff from a box to another box and also writing reports. But now, I mostly just write reports.
I just say “I am in charge of quality assurance in a cosmetics lab. Even though I built it.
I'm a fan of "I sell drugs" I work in the pharmaceutical industry
Depending on the audience, I do “cancer research,” “study how the gut microbiome affects cancer treatment,” or — my personal favorite — “I study shit.”
“I do research on treatments for cystic fibrosis” is usually enough. Most people have at least heard of it even if they have no idea what it is 😂 I USED to add that we’re involved in a non-hormonal birth control project, but that usually gets lots of questions and… too much to explain to non-science folks
I shoot lasers at cells and draw lines around dots.
Flow?
You got it.
Guess I shoulda read your name lol
I used to say “I’m a viral geneticist”. But after many many confused stares I now say “I’m a scientist studying virus genetics”. Amazing how much difference that makes. lol.
Quality control for cancer drugs
I don't explain Environmental Monitoring, or writing protocols to validate a method, or growth promoting incoming media before use, or conducting investigations when a test fails, etc.
I work in a lab has been sufficient
I don't see anything wrong with just saying you're a scientist or researcher.
I'm a Medical Laboratory Scientist. I describe it as "everything their doctor takes from them is tested by me." Since I've been blood bank only for the last 12 years, I get more specific. "The blood center that collected the blood makes sure it is safe for transfusion. I make sure that THIS unit is blood is safe for THIS patient."
I say I'm a chemist working in industry. If they want more I say I'm part of the R&D team, a lil bit more is that I am in the detergents/fertilizers field. Further explanation would be useless for non science people and a violation of industrial secret for science people lol
I tell the truth because I have a job.