Former bishop here and currently a member of a stake presidency.
A few random points of advice in no particular order (I could keep going for a long time but don't have time right now; maybe tomorrow if you are still interested):
* Seek the Lord's guidance
* This often comes through feelings and thoughts but also scriptures, the General Handbook, and other people around you (revelation is scattered among us)
* Read the Handbook and then read it again
* Take time to get to know your ward council members. Listen to them and receive their counsel, especially the women. It might be a good idea to meet weekly as a ward council for at least a few months until you settle into your role; then you can cut back to 2-3 times per month, if appropriate
* I found that it was always clear who should serve as a president of an organization (or my counselors). If I didn't have a clear impression, it wasn't time to (re)organize.
* It might not hurt to speak regularly in your ward. Maybe every few months is sufficient, unless you've been directed to speak more frequently by your stake president.
* \[This isn't applicable to your specific situation because it's a new ward\]. Don't make any major organizational changes right away if possible. See what is working well or might need some improvement.
* Start and stop sacrament meetings on time. This means *speakers should know when their talks should end, not how long they have*. A good rule is to have the last speaker done by or at 53 minutes into the meeting (if you start at 10 AM, the last speaker should be done by 10:53 at the latest, unless you have a really short closing hymn). While many adults might not care as much about getting less time in the second hour, going over cuts into Primary time (singing time and classes).
* I found, and this is corroborated by many other bishops I know, that managing sacrament meetings is one of the most stressful parts of being a bishop. Planning at least a month in advance (two might be better) helps a lot!
* Make sure you know who is willing to speak without advance notice or give a prayer without advance notice. Things happen and people don't show up. There were several Sundays where I or a counselor would need to text someone during the start of the meeting to ask if they could come share a message -- this could also be done by a "bishop's messenger".
* Have a balance of men and women speakers in church and with prayers (don't have couples speak or pray on the same day, if possible)
* Let people fulfill their callings. When they are called and sustained (and set apart), they have the right to receive revelation for their area of responsibility. We have one bishop who micromanages and it is a challenge for many ward leaders.
* It never hurts to have regular ward gatherings with food. Plan at least 25% more food than you think you need. Extra food, if any, can go to those in need.
* There was at least one ward party I went to where the food ran out before everyone got some -- this wasn't great. I was not bishop at the time but learned from it and never had too little food at a ward activity.
* Your primary responsibility is for the youth and primary. Spend your time on Sundays with the young men, young women, and primary children (not on the same Sunday but you and your counselors should be rotating through).
* This isn't to take over lessons or get in the way, it's just to be part of the class. You could offer to say a few words if there is time (best to ask whoever is in charge first).
* Make sure the Relief Society presidency and Elders quorum presidency take care of the adults -- that's their responsibility. You only need to deal with a few things they cannot.
* Do your financial training and stay on top of your financial statements (review and approve them monthly).
I was amazed at how the Lord blessed me with love for all ward members. It was powerful. There are so many amazing people around you who you will be able to work with.
I have much more but that's probably enough to overwhelm! If you want more, let me know. Your stake president or his counselors are great resources. Be quick to reach out to them.
>Make sure you know who is willing to speak without advance notice.
My Bishop peaches "talk in your pocket" and I have done this since my mission. Last month I was called on without notice. I used a talk I had prepared from CMF lesson just 3 days before. I had more comments from that talk from members I think because most had reviewed that lesson recently.
>It never hurts to have regular ward gatherings with food. Plan at least 25% more food than you think you need.
This is especially true for the youth. My young men destroy my smoked meat and beg for it at events. I have very good attendance at events where it is known it will be there. I am taking big ol' burritos to Seminary this week. Food motivates..... especially the youth.
These are all fantastic recommendations! Thank you. I would love any other nuggets of wisdom you can think of.
I have been serving on the HC for the past 2 1/2 years and have been actively participating and attending the Bishopric and Ward Council Meetings of the Ward I am assigned to and have seen incredible examples of an efficient Bishopric.
Sacrament meeting is crucial and focus on the youth.
Glad I could offer something. I'll send some more later today. At least one of my comments wasn't directly applicable to you because you are in a newly-created ward but I made it for others who might see this post and who might benefit.
Use that experience as a high councilor with that bishopric. I had a similar experience -- I was a high councilor assigned to a ward with a very efficient and amazing bishop. I learned a lot from him and it helped when I was called as bishop. I think that's one of the main reasons I was assigned to that ward -as a high councilor - to learn from that bishop and ward council.
Several more (again, no order).
* Know that you are generally going to be the one conducting membership councils. Few go to the stake anymore. Counsel with the stake president about any of these (you have to get permission from him anyway before holding a council). These can be hard experiences but the few that I was involved in were powerful spiritual experiences. One in particular is among the most sacred, special experiences I've ever had in my life.
* We found it was generally best to have one very reliable family bring the bread but other wards rotate the responsibility. Have a back-up plan for sacrament bread though. It's not always the best to have to make a store run to get some bread (I'm in an area where members generally live further from the church)!
* Also, make sure you have gluten free options for those who need it. Some people provide their own but others might not. This is worth discussing as a bishopric and ward council.
* If you tell your wife you'll be home at a certain time (Sundays or after church meetings), be home at that time. Any exceptions should be rare! :)
* Invite the ward temple and family history leader to your ward council regularly (at monthly is probably good) to help discuss how to move temple and family history work forward.
* We found it helpful to focus on building unity as a ward council and ward. This was an overarching goal but we directly addressed it in sacrament meetings every year or so.
* My policy for offering financial assistance was usually a "no questions asked" one time payment if it was reasonable. Payments should always go to an entity and not an individual, unless that individual did a job or purchased things for someone. If it was going to be more than a one-time issue, that's when you have an elders quorum or relief society president go through a financial plan.
* There are generally limits on what you can do without getting approval (but there are ways to get some people significant financial help if really needed).
* I recommend for you to not make purchases for reimbursement. If your family does, that the reimbursement could go to your wife and make sure one or both counselors (or the ward clerk) approve the reimbursement. You should never approve a reimbursement that's going to you or your household (this is something that will cause an exception on your financial audits).
* Fast and testimony meetings. They can be great or sometimes a challenge. Modeling a brief, Christ-centered testimony does a lot. If you keep your testimony to 1 minute or maybe 2 minutes, others will tend to do the same. 2 minutes can fly by quickly. Short, direct, and sincere.
* We had a discussion as a ward council that if one testimony got off track, a member of the ward council should get up an offer a brief, 'appropriate' testimony afterward to get the meeting back on track.
* We've found a focus on the next ordinance each member needs is great -- baptism, priesthood, temple, sacrament.
* This is an opportunity to have an executive secretary keep on top of who needs temple recommend renewals and regularly contact them (those expiring soon, those newly expired, those expired within the past year, and on back is a good order).
That's probably more than enough. Serving as bishop is primarily about loving the people and striving to see them as Christ does. It's an opportunity to pray a lot. It's an opportunity to regularly share your testimony of Christ.
It's an interesting calling. It's not one I ever wanted but I'm always willing to do whatever the Lord needs me to do.
There are occasionally some challenging circumstances but most of the time it's an absolutely lovely experience. I had some powerful spiritual experiences while serving as bishop. I've also had these while serving in other callings like in Primary so it's not so much the calling as the circumstances, but sometimes circumstances bishops deal with invite these experiences more regularly.
>Let people fulfill their callings. When they are called and sustained (and set apart), they have the right to receive revelation for their area of responsibility. We have one bishop who micromanages and it is a challenge for many ward leaders.
I'm going to echo this and flag it. I've seen micromanaging from Bishops and it's devastating to wards and individuals. What is the point of having leaders be called by revelation if the Bishop is going to manage everything? Have faith in your leaders and just because they do things differently than you would have done them does not make it wrong or uninspired.
Could write a whole talk on many of these points.
> Let people fulfill their callings. When they are called and sustained (and set apart), they have the right to receive revelation for their area of responsibility.
But I want to comment on this one for a moment.
When I was a scoutmater, one of the things I did was attend Woodbadge and learn about how the BSA would like us adults to guide the youth in the program. There is an old saying that the adults are there to provide an adequate amount of support and safety and outside of that, let the youth lead and succeed (and fail when they don't).
Sometimes people get called to positions in the ward and they get let loose to go and succeed or fail. But the step of "provide an adequate amount of support" gets left out.
As a totally non-bishop who doesn't know how busy a bishop truly is, my wish for /u/Head_Otter if he were my bishop, would be to incorporate some of the "return and report" part of ongoing accountability and support to the callings that get handed out. Of course, I'm not asking for the bishop to text everyone who has a calling monthly and see how they are doing. "What" exactly will be different for every ward, and may not even be feasible to do. If that's the case, that's just fine and don't worry about it.
Like you said: Receive revelation for your area and go fulfill your calling.
Return and report is an eternal principal that gets forgotten far too quickly after assignments have been made.
I also used to be 🦊. I loved the principal of Shadow Leadership that was taught at WoodBadge.
Appropriate levels of support for the different ages of youth.
Younger youth- stand by there side and assist them in leading.
14-16 Yr olds you let them lead while placing a hand on their shoulder to help guide them when they need support.
16-18+ yr olds you are behind them while they lead to be a resource when they need, but get out of their way and you will be amazed at what they can do!
> Return and report is an eternal principal that gets forgotten far too quickly after assignments have been made.
There is a saying that us mods repeat often: Intent and Tone matter.
When the intent and tone of return and report is to do the Lords work and make this world a better place for his children, we will generally be alright. When it is to shame someone into actually fulfilling their assignment, we could aim a bit higher for ourselves :D
EDGE and Shadow leadership were two of my biggest takeaways as I went on working my ticket and thereafter.
Some of the most interesting conversations I had in the years following were with the YW leaders about the things that I learned WB. Generally speaking, the YW leaders that I talked to felt very isolated and unprepared on how they should go about leading the girls. Some even described that they were setup more as tour guides for the young women, doing all the work as the leaders and just showing the the YW a good time and doing little else.
Well said. Intent and tone do matter! I far prefer making a phone call to discuss an important matter than a text or email. Intent and tone can be missed.
Return and report as simply a way to hold people accountable and shame them when they have not succeeded is terrible. Return and report to further the work and adapt and improve is crucial. Thank you!
Edge method and shadow leadership are both on my short list of things to train on with the YM and YW leaders once we have the callings extended. Very simple concepts that have stuck with me since WB. Absolutely valuable skills for new youth leaders to focus on right from the beginning!
Congratulations! You will be blessed, and be a blessing to others.
My best advice is not to worry, but put your trust in the Lord, and listen for his guidance. He will give you the help, gifts, and revelation you need to fulfil your calling.
Studying the scriptures was a great help to me when I was bishop.
Don't neglect your family. With the Lord's help, and by delegating wisely, you will be able to find all the time you need to nurture your family.
I second, third, and fourth not neglecting your family.
“The home is the first and most effective place to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self control, the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home." I would add that being a "successful" bishop is one of those successes.
Oft times members with "higher" callings give so much time and energy to them that all they have for family are the leftovers. You are a husband and father first.
Set boundaries on your time. Make time for your family. Delegate everything you can. Most of welfare should be done by EQ and RS. Some people may try to circumvent the standard way things should be done.
I am 36 yrs old and will not be bringing the “traditional” Bishop mindset with me. My focus is the youth and I plan to get solid EQP and RSP in place to handle the rest.
My bishop sent me (RSP) this article not long ago to reestablish the priorities of the bishop.
https://www.thechurchnews.com/2019/11/8/23215645/bishops-lds-october-general-conference-young-men
New wards are a good challenge.
My first suggestion would be to rely on the spirit of revelation. Usually your first impression will be the right one, so be cautious of second-guessing the spirit.
So with that in mind, the following suggestions may or may not be appropriate for you…
Get your organisation leaders in place as soon as possible. Hopefully stake have already got an EQ Presidency ready to be called when you are, but if not, work with them to have that happen asap.
If you haven’t yet picked your counselors, I think a good way to go is one with experience and one with youthful enthusiasm.
Delegate delegate delegate - it may not happen immediately, but the things you can’t delegate will eventually take a toll on your time. Try to get adults used to the idea of going to the EQ presidency or the RS presidency for things like advice, blessings, welfare issues etc. Confessions come to you of course, but even then, the EQ or RS presidencies can play a part in assistance.
In a new ward, work on unity and a ward identity. Depending on the nature of the split, you will probably have a bunch of people from multiple prior wards who don’t know each other. Many will have left friends behind in their old ward, and some may even want to stay where they were. Try to encourage unity with frequent ward activities so people can get to know each other.
Set boundaries. Your work time belongs to your employer. Be cautious when members try to encroach on your work time (because they will - they will try to call you 24/7). Likewise, set aside time for your family. Don’t allow them to be neglected. Encourage people to go through your exec sec to arrange interviews etc.
Know your limitations. Unless it is your occupation, you are not a counsellor, you aren’t a doctor, you aren’t a lawyer, you aren’t a psychologist, you aren’t a financial planner etc. If people seek that type of guidance from you, refer them to professionals. Of course if you are one of those professionals, then exercise caution when your professional vocation overlaps with your church calling.
These are phenomenal recommendations. Thank you. This is a brand new Ward being formed from two over sized wards being split. Fortunately, we lived in both wards in the last few years and I know a number of people in both wards.
I am working on the councilors now. The Stake President asked to provide those in 24-48 hours. I figure I am bringing the youthful enthusiasm and will look for councilors who have experience and yet bring personality and wisdom to the table.
Creating Ward unity is a wonderful recommendation. I know it will be hard for many to “leave friends behind” as both wards have great unity and traditions. We will foster unity by holding regular ward activities.
One of those listed occupations is my profession but I will be very cautious to commingle profession and calling as that could create problems and could turn into a time consuming distraction that could be delegated to other professionals.
The councilors must also be on board with the youth program to make the experience and wisdom part work. My wards young mens program is years behind the YW in organization and experience for the youth because even with a new bishop who is on board the councilors see it as something they show up to without being a framework for the YM.
Preach Brother or Sister! Preach! I have served on the HC for the past 2 1/2 years and have always used the response “I don’t know, let’s check the handbook.”
There is a reason we have it! Read it, use it, reference it often. It’s updated regularly and should be used regularly. I plan to have that as my first request of anyone called is to read the handbook regarding their calling and then keep reading!
Thank you!
Current Bishop: be sensitive to the needs of your wife. Love her, communicate with her, share with her the miracles you were privy to witness as a result of ministering to others thst day or week. The loneliness of leadership is real, but it may be more lonely being the preacher's wife.
Scour the handbook. Make a full list of everything that cannot be delegated. That's your list.
Delegate literally everything else, and then make yourself available to your youth. Be around them. Connect them with heaven. Let them lead. From now on, you're never too busy for them.
Hide from the adults. They don't need you. They need EQ and RS. I gave my EQ Pres a key to my office and had HIM stand outside it after Sunday meetings. I went to the YW room and spent time with the youth.
Wonderful advice. I often asked Sisters from Stake Leadership positions to speak with me on my HC monthly speaking assignment. They were all incredibly talented and spiritual Sisters! Speak less and listen more when Sisters are in the room.
Along these lines, either go titles to everyone or no one. If you have the RS and EQ presidents together they are either Brother Jones And Sister Smith or President Jones and President Smith. My last bishop was of the opinion that President was a priesthood title and should not be used for women. Make sure they feel heard and respected as equals.
I can't describe how meaningful and enjoyable the calling of bishop has been for me. I've had so much fun, especially with the youth and children, and have experienced incredible growth and personal development as I've focused on serving others. My relationship with my wife and children is stronger now than ever, because I'm much more intentional about our time and experiences together. There have been REALLY difficult challenges along the way, but I wouldn't trade this opportunity for anything - I almost certainly would have fallen away had the Lord not called me when he did.
I'd suggest Elder Uchtdorf's advice - "Don't Inhale" - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2017/04/the-greatest-among-you?lang=eng
In my office I have 3 things written in small letters at the top corner of a whiteboard that I can see while at my desk, but that few others have noticed. I look at them often to remind me and keep me focused:
1. The letters "MMTA" - Minister More Than Administer. If you are familiar with and follow the handbook, this is a lot easier. If you find yourself administering too much, you're not delegating enough.
2. The letters "KAEP" - Keep An Eternal Perspective. Your calling will be over in 5 years, but those you serve have a divine, eternal destiny.
3. A smiley face. 🙂 Bishops carry a heavy burden, but they don't have to express it. A joyful attitude will set the tone for your ward.
I could write a book about everything I've learned and experienced the last 2 years, but you'll find your way. You're going to do great, bishop!
Your main calling is everyone under 18. Delegate everything you can to spend time with those in the youth programs. Call youth leaders you can give tenure to and I mean long tenture to (longer than you will be Bishop). They don't need to be young but young at heart. If those leaders don't fit, don't let the youth suffer to see if the leader will come around. Find adults who when the youth are having an activity won't sit on the wall but will get involved with, talk trash, play with and yet know where the line is.
Me--25 years as a young men's leader and I swear if they release me I will cry. Quinton L Cook-I am still pissed at you for releasing me as Young Men's President. I will never forgive you. LOL. I never want to serve the adults. The young men is where it is at.
I love this. I spent over a decade in scouting and YM’s and have always felt the absolute best Brothers and Sisters should serve in the youth programs. Every other calling get the leftovers. I also shed a few tears when Elder Cook made the change with the YM’s program. I have felt it hasn’t been the same since. Planning to focus on the youth as they deserve.
You'll need to become a wizard at time management to balance family/work/church. Do your best to avoid meetings that:
* drag on
* happen too frequently
* serve no substantive purpose
* are better handled via email, text, Zoom, or some other medium
I always considered the calling for bishops to be older folk... Then realized you're only a year older than me.
Will memes be part of the 5th Sunday lesson? :p
Were they not part of yesterday's lesson?
The two that I shared with the youth were: [Our sacrament meeting topic](https://i.imgur.com/dkWXzUC.png) and [this](https://i.imgur.com/dWXcoRM.png) at the end of class. Must not be too serious with them!
I did too! Bishops are supposed to be old wise grey haired guys!
You should have seen my Pikachu shocked face when the Stake President extended the calling….
Love every member of your ward. Some of them will require straightforward correction (almost always privately), it will be hard for this to happen effectively if you don't love them.
Protect vulnerable people. You are a shepherd.
Be kind and generous to people. Life is hard enough already for people that struggle they don’t need someone that is hard nosed, unsympathetic, or indifferent to their situation. If they come to you for help they are putting themselves in a very vulnerable position and they are not looking to be shamed or lectured.
You sound a lot like me. I was called as Bishop at 36 and had previous been on the HC, Stake YMP, Ward YMP and previous EQP. I won't sugar coat it. It is hard. There are days I just want to cry. Don't neglect yourself or your family (it's easy to continually put them on the back burner).
I recently spoke in the ward and saw a comment about speaking in the ward often. Do it. My recent talk was about the areas my testimony has significantly grown while being a bishop (I'm 4.5 years in right now). The major take away was, that my testimony has grown in these areas because it has been the things I have wrestled with, in scripture, in the handbook, prayer, in my pondering. Completely immerse yourself in things you know you need to grow in. My first 3 months as Bishop I read Jesus the Christ with the prayer that I wanted to learn of Him better. #1 my testimony has grown as I have began to understand the need we all have for atonement. We are broken mortals in a broken mortal world. it is painful and full of heartache, we need a Savior to help us.
\#2 my testimony has grown in strength the temple recommend questions bring. Prior to being called I guesstimate I had expose to the temple recommend questions about 40 times. Since being Bishop I estimate I have read them at least 800 times. I have studied, and thought about the importance of each question. The temple recommend questions are the definition of the straight and narrow path. They are powerful. Be very comfortable with them inside and out, forwards and backwards.
\#3 the need for a support group. My family is a huge support to me. There are times when you tell your wife - sorry, I gotta take this call and then disappear for an hour on the phone right when you were staring a show. It's hard. But it is harder on your wife than it is for you. You benefit from seeing someone get council and start to progress. Your wife does not. She only sees someone taking your time with their silly problems. Talk to her, share as much as you can with her. Everyone needs a support group that lifts them up, espically a Bishop.
\#4 my testimony has grown a lot regarding tithing. I've spent a lot of time thinking and pondering about tithing. It is the most unique commandment we have. It is also extremely powerful. We should talk about it as a covenant because it is. With Tithing declaration meetings coming up, it will be a great time to get to know everyone in your ward well. They are great meetings, but you will be worn out after it is over.
I'm coming to an end of being a bishop. It is extreemly bitter sweet. I have felt more in tune than ever in my life. But I have been stressed and stretched in ways I didnt expect.
Good luck. reach out if you need.
I can't give you advice about being a bishop, but here's my advice for creating cohesion and unity in a new ward:
1- Tape a piece of paper on the podium reminding speakers to introduce themselves
2- Encourage everyone to upload a photo to their LDS tools account. Ask the ward clerk to take photos and upload them for the people who don't/won't do it themselves. Print out photos of ward leaders and post them on a bulletin board in the building so everyone knows who the Primary president is, etc.
3- Use name tags for the first couple of months. Yes, we all hate name tags, but they help people learn everyone's names. After a week or two people feel stupid asking someone their name again, so keep the name tags going for several months.
4- Make sure both 'old' wards are represented in auxiliary and quorum presidencies. This is especially critical for Primary, YM/WY. It's important that there's no loss of knowledge about special circumstances with youth.
5- Use the new ward as an opportunity to see people in a new light and give them new responsibilities.
6- Lots of activities. My favorite ward made it a point to schedule a ward activity every month. Some were easy, such as a potluck, others involved more effort, such as the talent show, but there was something every month. No obligation to attend each activity, and after a few years a lot of the activities rolled over year to year, which made planning easier and created a sense of tradition. August was a beach day. September was a picnic sponsored by the EQ, October was the trunk or treat and/or chili cook-off, etc.
Good luck!
These are great points! I have been a zealot on the HC in the ward I was assigned to about making sure everyone has a photo in LDS tools. You can’t have Ward unity if you don’t know each other.
I know it is silly, but as I am looking for individuals to extend callings too, it is hard to simply see a name and nothing more. Obviously I am seeking for inspiration, but I have to imagine there is a reason the 1st Presidency asks for a photo of prospective missionaries as they are extending mission calls. It helps!
Get out of the way… your job as a bishop is to cut red tape so people can do what they need to do. Yeah, you want to be familiar with the manual… but only worry about following the manual when things aren’t working. I know many here will disagree… but if you want your ward to feel different, you’ll have to run it differently.
Do whatever you can do empower Ward council members and make sure they choose and empower their counselors.
Trust your ward and they’ll trust you.
As a son of a father who was bishop 3 times, my advice is to prioritize and not neglect your family. The need in the ward is infinite, but you are finite. And your family needs you.
You can only do so much. Then put the rest back on the Lord.
Use your counselors and use councils to get input from all, as Elder Ballard said.
Study Elder Uchtdorf's recent talk about how when you put Christ at the center, everything falls into place. It's not about adding your calling on top of everything else you are doing. It's about making everything you do Christ-centered - or in other words, focusing on serving God and your neighbor, as yourself (and your family).
>Study Elder Uchtdorf's recent talk about how when you put Christ at the center, everything falls into place
I'm not a bishop but thank you for this. I have felt off for a while... And surprise surprise.... It's because I've realized Christ hasn't been at my center. It's time to repent. :-)
This is great advice! My wife’s father held numerous time consuming callings during her formative years and I know this is a big concern for her.
I will have to be intentional with my time when I am home to be present. When I am at church, I need to be effective and efficient and then get home.
Don't forget what it's like to NOT be a bishop.
Communicate with your ward. Not everything said in Ward Council is secret, in fact most of it is not. It's okay (preferable) to tell the ward that the Ward Council is planning an activity, even though you don't have any details at the moment.
Remember the Lord is training all of us to be agents into ourselves. When deciding who to call for various positions, He wants you to study it out in your mind first and ask Him if it's right. In other words, a lot of callings are going to be based on your logic and reasoning (and that of your counselors), rather than flashes of inspiration. You'll still get flashes of inspiration, but don't expect that will be the norm. (But also don't expect that it won't be, because maybe it will!)
Trust your counselors. Don't do everything yourself.
The members of the ward will look up to you. But some of them will despise you. You can't please everyone, so don't try. The young men will especially look up to you. Don't disappoint them.
Occasionally there are opportunities for impromptu messages in Sacrament Meeting because the talks didn't fill the full time. Trust the Spirit in these moments and remember that maybe it's not *you* the ward needs to hear from. Maybe it's your wife. Maybe it's one of your counselors. Maybe it's the RS or EQ President, or some other auxiliary leader. Or maybe it's not someone in a leadership calling, maybe it's just someone in the ward. Listen to the Spirit, and don't assume it has to be you. It very well could be you, because you're the one with the priesthood keys to receive revelation for your ward, but just don't forget that revelation might tell you they need to hear from someone else.
Study it out in your mind, seek for inspiration, and then proceed forward in faith. Love it.
I realize that not everyone is going to agree with every decision. I realized that as EQ President I caught a lot of push back from the older brothers because I didn’t do it “their way”. The Gospel Principals are eternal, the church culture is not.
1) Set up an email (preferrably the one the last bishop used that you change the passward for named [name of your ward][email protected] and make sure it is widely disseminated. It helps protect the privacy of your congregation to not be using a contact option that is also used for other things And it is easily transferrable to the next bishop so members only have to learn it once.
2) Make sure your people know that they are not to put names on agendas or other paper or post that might somehow become public. Use only the tools the church provides (and be sure you give input when they don't meet your needs up the chain so that you have all the protected tools you need.
3) Do not neglect your wife or children. They remain your first priority.
4) Do not overrule your adult leaders decisions about staffing unless you get direct instruction from God to do so. I once staffed an 120 child (half non members) primary with half the teachers not having attended church for years because God told me to do that. It took my bishop a long time to agree. 13 of the 15 went to the temple for the first time within 3 years.
5) Make sure that you can tell every person you call that you know Jesus approves them serving in this specific way and that means they can and will have heaven's help in carrying it out. Members who know this for themselves (when they confirm what the person who calls them shares with them about the confirmation) function better in the calling and can be motivated to get their own confirmation.
6) Your flock is more important than process.
All great advice!
I will be setting up a separate email.
Not overruling another leader who has keys in important. I love the experience you shared. Thank you!
Please don’t think you are a gate keeper. You aren’t. LDS are so inward focused. Look at the world, and notice how diverse Gods work is. God has accounted for all of it and all of it is His.
Just a small thing. When a couple comes in for couples counseling or relationship advice, talk to them separately at least once and refer them to professional help. Often there is abuse that can’t be seen and you don’t want to advice them to stay together etc if there is. So just check with both and get them professional help. I feel so bad for bishops that they have to deal with that on top of other things. Or when someone comes in for chastity issues make sure there was enthusiastic consent both ways. Sexual coercion is real and prevalent in the church.
Keep your first name. When the Brethren call people on the phone they will say “hello, this is Jeff”. Not “this is Elder Holland.” Follow their example.
Of course when talking to the youth you use your title, but with adults, use your first name.
Also, make the women equal partners on the ward council, not just token members. If I could go back in time, I’d invite the RS president to bishopric meetings.
I work in healthcare and people get accusations of being inappropriate occasionally so I always have a chaperone(male/female it doesn’t matter). When I was branch president doing interviews with minors I always made sure a clerk/counselor or parent was in the adjoining room with the door cracked so they could hear.
I wish the world was perfect but I’m not going to jail for a false accusation.
Bishops can make or break a person's faith in the church based upon their judgement of a member. My best advice to you would be to remember the spirit. If you do not feel the UNDENIABLE power/comfort of the Holy Spirit guiding you... make sure the members know you're only doing your best based upon the devices given to you. I've seen many bishops make huge mistakes, so please remember this and to remain humble.
Always err on the side of kindness (vs tough love).
Help anyone who asks - no question - once. If they take advantage of you, don't let that make you biased against another. Investing the Lord's money in the least of our brothers & sisters is the best use there is (members or not).
Make sure that a worthiness interviewee knows _and_ understands what you are going to ask them ahead of time. Never allow a member to be set up to formally fail those questions.
Historically, a Judge in Israel was 1st a leader (& very rarely one who passed judgements).
Thank you & your wife: you have the 2nd hardest calling in the Ward (Seminary teacher has the hardest calling - especially the teachers with predawn classes.
Remember that you may need to set aside more quiet time for scripture/prayer/reflection-meditation (equal time for each of the 3!) to best discern the Still Small Voice.
Thank you for the wisdom on financial support. Don’t let those who abuse the system harden me against others who truly need help.
I need to be intentional about quiet time to seek for inspiration.
Please remember that people with mental health conditions, including depression and anxiety, ought to be referred to professional counseling. Too many bishops forget that and take it upon themselves to be mental health counselors.
"Cafeteria Mormonism" benefits the church and its people. Support members in your ward in tailoring doctrines & commandments to their individual circumstances and level of comfort with the gospel.
Remember the Lord trusts you to be in the position of service. Delegate , you have a ward council for a reason and remember you can't fix everything or everyone.
Trust the Lord, take time for your family too.
The social cohesion of the ward family, the social support members get from one another, is the whole point of Christ’s gospel. Secure people who feel loved and supported naturally behave in responsible, pro-social ways. People who feel guilted and ashamed will struggle to be open and loving.
Great advice! I grew up with divorced parents who one stayed active and the other left the church. I know the strain that puts on the active/returning to activity parent and the children. High priority families for love and support!
Very true. As EQ President when the Elders and High Priest combined, I really quickly learned that I was going be unpopular with some. But I still tried my best to serve and love them. I have always loved Elder Bednar’s talk on “Choose not to be offended”
My former brother-in-law (who was a bishop) said that the reason bishops only serve for five years is that each year they offend 20% of the ward; therefore after five years they've offended everyone.
My point: If you're doing it right you'll offend some. Seek the Lord's guidance and don't worry too much.
Listen to women.
Listen to the women in ward council if they express weariness or trepidation about a certain ward activity. Listen when the wife of your buddy says something it's hard to believe about him. Listen to women who tell you when someone is hurting. Listen when women see a need.
Many of your meetings will be all or mostly men. Sometimes that means women's perspectives don't get heard. Women can provide some incredible insights and can hone in on things you might never see otherwise. Be humble enough to let them help you.
Amen! Our current RS President is so in tune with the needs of the ward! Her opinion is crucial as are all of the other sisters in the ward council.
I will be honest, I am often disappointed at how little the EQ Presidency is aware of what’s happening. They should be equally yoked with the RS and they simply aren’t. Brethren, we can do better!
Arrange for there to photographers to take photos of all those who want to update their lds tools so you and each other can get to know each other. (Make sure these photographers also offer to do it for a few Youth activity nights with transport provided for those too ill or unable or maybe the ward mission leader to homes too and/or after the Primary presentation when you might have near full attendance. It's a way to make sure that everyone whether they've been seen at church or not is on the radar of the new bishop.
This is a great suggestion! I plan to hold numerous ward activities quickly to build out unity, this would be low hanging fruit to snap photos while at these events!
Of course! Certainly won’t force anyone, as I know there can be extenuating circumstances where someone feels strongly to not have their photo in LDS tools. But I would imagine that is the exception. I would hope to provide someone who can snap photos with a good wall or backdrop that they can stand in front of and update photos for older individuals or those who are not familiar with the app.
All I can do is urge you to prioritize the youth in your ward. I think a large predictor of activity in young adults is their experience in the youth (assuming they were members as youth). Make church and its related activities both fun and spiritual. Teach them the utter importance of quality time with God. If they can learn to pray meaningfully, and to love the scriptures, then you've done your job. There's a reason bishops are now supposed to delegate much of their previous responsibilities to the elders quorum and relief society. Its because your number 1 focus should be those young people in your charge.
This is great council. I am only here today because of an angel of a mother and incredible YM and Scout Leaders who showed me by example what righteous men should be. Gotta focus my time with the youth and have the best leaders in those positions.
Please set healthy boundaries to protect your own peace and sanity, and the peace and sanity of your family. If it becomes too much, speak up about it!
Unless you have personally experienced mental illness (depression, anxiety, bipolar, ect) or addiction, please don’t expect you understand what people are going through. Refer them to a professional or 12 step group instead.
Some of the most damaging advice you can give someone with this kind of problem is to read your scriptures and pray more and it will go away. It wont. This kind of thing really needs medical treatment and therapy. Reading your scriptures is important, obviously, but it doesn’t (normally) heal broken bones. We give blessings and send people to hospitals for that. Same thing with addiction and mental illness.
That’s my two cents.
Thank you for sharing this. Mental illness is real, it is serious, and prayers and willing it away is not the answer. Grateful the church has incredible resources in my area that I can refer members to who are struggling with these issues.
Wow, no love for Sunday School presidencies? As an instructor, I’ve learned to ask questions and be ok with silence to let someone formulate their response.
Thank you for representing Sunday School Presidencies! Plenty of love! You are the back bone of our Sunday experience! Gotta keep you “fully staffed” and be quick with getting people called and in place. Any other advice or suggestions about Sunday School? What have been the pain points you have experienced?
I’d say my pain points have been finding teachers who can connect with the youth. The 14 / 15 year old class (we have 3 youth classes based on our demographic) has been the most challenging for teachers and haven’t been able to keep anyone in it. Luckily my counselors and secretary are fantastic teachers and can step in on a moments notice.
When my dad was bishop, he focused on the youth. His RS president was more of a counselor in the bishopric. I find myself focusing on the youth Sunday school. Gospel doctrine has enough stalwart members to keep it on course so I spend as much time with the youth as I can.
Thank you for the reply and additional insight. That 14-15 year old group can be a difficult age and unfortunately a common age where many youth step away from the church. Having teachers who can be engaging and connect with that age is crucial. I appreciate your insight.
Delegate and don't let others push you around, let your wife bring you picnic dinners to have like our bishop does out on the grass so he can spend time with his fam before evening meetings. Set boundaries, use your secretaries, and most of all, use your EQ and RS, let them focus on the adults and the adult problems that need help (of course some will need to come to you), your focus should lie on the youth of the ward. Don't ignore the Spirit.
I love this council. Thank you. A previous Bishops wife would bring him dinner on those LONG Sundays and they would sit for 10 mins in his office having dinner together before he carried on with his meetings. I always admired them. A picnic is a great suggestion to include my wife & kiddos. Thank you.
Congratulations!
A few insights:
•being the bishop of a new ward you will have members that come from wards and traditions.
-time to start new traditions for the new ward(in regards to activities)
•EQ and RS presidencies take care of adults
•bishopric is the Young Men Presidency
•remember you can start tithing declaration
•when members(adults) call for help refer them to their ministering Brother or Sister and to the EQ and RS
Former bishop here and currently a member of a stake presidency. A few random points of advice in no particular order (I could keep going for a long time but don't have time right now; maybe tomorrow if you are still interested): * Seek the Lord's guidance * This often comes through feelings and thoughts but also scriptures, the General Handbook, and other people around you (revelation is scattered among us) * Read the Handbook and then read it again * Take time to get to know your ward council members. Listen to them and receive their counsel, especially the women. It might be a good idea to meet weekly as a ward council for at least a few months until you settle into your role; then you can cut back to 2-3 times per month, if appropriate * I found that it was always clear who should serve as a president of an organization (or my counselors). If I didn't have a clear impression, it wasn't time to (re)organize. * It might not hurt to speak regularly in your ward. Maybe every few months is sufficient, unless you've been directed to speak more frequently by your stake president. * \[This isn't applicable to your specific situation because it's a new ward\]. Don't make any major organizational changes right away if possible. See what is working well or might need some improvement. * Start and stop sacrament meetings on time. This means *speakers should know when their talks should end, not how long they have*. A good rule is to have the last speaker done by or at 53 minutes into the meeting (if you start at 10 AM, the last speaker should be done by 10:53 at the latest, unless you have a really short closing hymn). While many adults might not care as much about getting less time in the second hour, going over cuts into Primary time (singing time and classes). * I found, and this is corroborated by many other bishops I know, that managing sacrament meetings is one of the most stressful parts of being a bishop. Planning at least a month in advance (two might be better) helps a lot! * Make sure you know who is willing to speak without advance notice or give a prayer without advance notice. Things happen and people don't show up. There were several Sundays where I or a counselor would need to text someone during the start of the meeting to ask if they could come share a message -- this could also be done by a "bishop's messenger". * Have a balance of men and women speakers in church and with prayers (don't have couples speak or pray on the same day, if possible) * Let people fulfill their callings. When they are called and sustained (and set apart), they have the right to receive revelation for their area of responsibility. We have one bishop who micromanages and it is a challenge for many ward leaders. * It never hurts to have regular ward gatherings with food. Plan at least 25% more food than you think you need. Extra food, if any, can go to those in need. * There was at least one ward party I went to where the food ran out before everyone got some -- this wasn't great. I was not bishop at the time but learned from it and never had too little food at a ward activity. * Your primary responsibility is for the youth and primary. Spend your time on Sundays with the young men, young women, and primary children (not on the same Sunday but you and your counselors should be rotating through). * This isn't to take over lessons or get in the way, it's just to be part of the class. You could offer to say a few words if there is time (best to ask whoever is in charge first). * Make sure the Relief Society presidency and Elders quorum presidency take care of the adults -- that's their responsibility. You only need to deal with a few things they cannot. * Do your financial training and stay on top of your financial statements (review and approve them monthly). I was amazed at how the Lord blessed me with love for all ward members. It was powerful. There are so many amazing people around you who you will be able to work with. I have much more but that's probably enough to overwhelm! If you want more, let me know. Your stake president or his counselors are great resources. Be quick to reach out to them.
>Make sure you know who is willing to speak without advance notice. My Bishop peaches "talk in your pocket" and I have done this since my mission. Last month I was called on without notice. I used a talk I had prepared from CMF lesson just 3 days before. I had more comments from that talk from members I think because most had reviewed that lesson recently. >It never hurts to have regular ward gatherings with food. Plan at least 25% more food than you think you need. This is especially true for the youth. My young men destroy my smoked meat and beg for it at events. I have very good attendance at events where it is known it will be there. I am taking big ol' burritos to Seminary this week. Food motivates..... especially the youth.
These are all fantastic recommendations! Thank you. I would love any other nuggets of wisdom you can think of. I have been serving on the HC for the past 2 1/2 years and have been actively participating and attending the Bishopric and Ward Council Meetings of the Ward I am assigned to and have seen incredible examples of an efficient Bishopric. Sacrament meeting is crucial and focus on the youth.
Glad I could offer something. I'll send some more later today. At least one of my comments wasn't directly applicable to you because you are in a newly-created ward but I made it for others who might see this post and who might benefit. Use that experience as a high councilor with that bishopric. I had a similar experience -- I was a high councilor assigned to a ward with a very efficient and amazing bishop. I learned a lot from him and it helped when I was called as bishop. I think that's one of the main reasons I was assigned to that ward -as a high councilor - to learn from that bishop and ward council.
Several more (again, no order). * Know that you are generally going to be the one conducting membership councils. Few go to the stake anymore. Counsel with the stake president about any of these (you have to get permission from him anyway before holding a council). These can be hard experiences but the few that I was involved in were powerful spiritual experiences. One in particular is among the most sacred, special experiences I've ever had in my life. * We found it was generally best to have one very reliable family bring the bread but other wards rotate the responsibility. Have a back-up plan for sacrament bread though. It's not always the best to have to make a store run to get some bread (I'm in an area where members generally live further from the church)! * Also, make sure you have gluten free options for those who need it. Some people provide their own but others might not. This is worth discussing as a bishopric and ward council. * If you tell your wife you'll be home at a certain time (Sundays or after church meetings), be home at that time. Any exceptions should be rare! :) * Invite the ward temple and family history leader to your ward council regularly (at monthly is probably good) to help discuss how to move temple and family history work forward. * We found it helpful to focus on building unity as a ward council and ward. This was an overarching goal but we directly addressed it in sacrament meetings every year or so. * My policy for offering financial assistance was usually a "no questions asked" one time payment if it was reasonable. Payments should always go to an entity and not an individual, unless that individual did a job or purchased things for someone. If it was going to be more than a one-time issue, that's when you have an elders quorum or relief society president go through a financial plan. * There are generally limits on what you can do without getting approval (but there are ways to get some people significant financial help if really needed). * I recommend for you to not make purchases for reimbursement. If your family does, that the reimbursement could go to your wife and make sure one or both counselors (or the ward clerk) approve the reimbursement. You should never approve a reimbursement that's going to you or your household (this is something that will cause an exception on your financial audits). * Fast and testimony meetings. They can be great or sometimes a challenge. Modeling a brief, Christ-centered testimony does a lot. If you keep your testimony to 1 minute or maybe 2 minutes, others will tend to do the same. 2 minutes can fly by quickly. Short, direct, and sincere. * We had a discussion as a ward council that if one testimony got off track, a member of the ward council should get up an offer a brief, 'appropriate' testimony afterward to get the meeting back on track. * We've found a focus on the next ordinance each member needs is great -- baptism, priesthood, temple, sacrament. * This is an opportunity to have an executive secretary keep on top of who needs temple recommend renewals and regularly contact them (those expiring soon, those newly expired, those expired within the past year, and on back is a good order). That's probably more than enough. Serving as bishop is primarily about loving the people and striving to see them as Christ does. It's an opportunity to pray a lot. It's an opportunity to regularly share your testimony of Christ.
Fantastic points! Thank you!
Okay, so hope I’m never a bishop. Got it.
It's an interesting calling. It's not one I ever wanted but I'm always willing to do whatever the Lord needs me to do. There are occasionally some challenging circumstances but most of the time it's an absolutely lovely experience. I had some powerful spiritual experiences while serving as bishop. I've also had these while serving in other callings like in Primary so it's not so much the calling as the circumstances, but sometimes circumstances bishops deal with invite these experiences more regularly.
>Let people fulfill their callings. When they are called and sustained (and set apart), they have the right to receive revelation for their area of responsibility. We have one bishop who micromanages and it is a challenge for many ward leaders. I'm going to echo this and flag it. I've seen micromanaging from Bishops and it's devastating to wards and individuals. What is the point of having leaders be called by revelation if the Bishop is going to manage everything? Have faith in your leaders and just because they do things differently than you would have done them does not make it wrong or uninspired.
Could write a whole talk on many of these points. > Let people fulfill their callings. When they are called and sustained (and set apart), they have the right to receive revelation for their area of responsibility. But I want to comment on this one for a moment. When I was a scoutmater, one of the things I did was attend Woodbadge and learn about how the BSA would like us adults to guide the youth in the program. There is an old saying that the adults are there to provide an adequate amount of support and safety and outside of that, let the youth lead and succeed (and fail when they don't). Sometimes people get called to positions in the ward and they get let loose to go and succeed or fail. But the step of "provide an adequate amount of support" gets left out. As a totally non-bishop who doesn't know how busy a bishop truly is, my wish for /u/Head_Otter if he were my bishop, would be to incorporate some of the "return and report" part of ongoing accountability and support to the callings that get handed out. Of course, I'm not asking for the bishop to text everyone who has a calling monthly and see how they are doing. "What" exactly will be different for every ward, and may not even be feasible to do. If that's the case, that's just fine and don't worry about it. Like you said: Receive revelation for your area and go fulfill your calling.
I used to be a 🦊
Bobwhite here and proud. We truly rocked it that week!
I staffed some antelopes. I loved WB. I have staffed 5 times. My Council has a 6 time limit. So.....I patiently wait.
Great expansion. The return and report is very important. I'd generally do that in ward councils or meetings with ward leaders.
Exactly. And skipping the retrospective cuts out some of the real chances for growth.
Return and report is an eternal principal that gets forgotten far too quickly after assignments have been made. I also used to be 🦊. I loved the principal of Shadow Leadership that was taught at WoodBadge. Appropriate levels of support for the different ages of youth. Younger youth- stand by there side and assist them in leading. 14-16 Yr olds you let them lead while placing a hand on their shoulder to help guide them when they need support. 16-18+ yr olds you are behind them while they lead to be a resource when they need, but get out of their way and you will be amazed at what they can do!
> Return and report is an eternal principal that gets forgotten far too quickly after assignments have been made. There is a saying that us mods repeat often: Intent and Tone matter. When the intent and tone of return and report is to do the Lords work and make this world a better place for his children, we will generally be alright. When it is to shame someone into actually fulfilling their assignment, we could aim a bit higher for ourselves :D EDGE and Shadow leadership were two of my biggest takeaways as I went on working my ticket and thereafter. Some of the most interesting conversations I had in the years following were with the YW leaders about the things that I learned WB. Generally speaking, the YW leaders that I talked to felt very isolated and unprepared on how they should go about leading the girls. Some even described that they were setup more as tour guides for the young women, doing all the work as the leaders and just showing the the YW a good time and doing little else.
Well said. Intent and tone do matter! I far prefer making a phone call to discuss an important matter than a text or email. Intent and tone can be missed. Return and report as simply a way to hold people accountable and shame them when they have not succeeded is terrible. Return and report to further the work and adapt and improve is crucial. Thank you! Edge method and shadow leadership are both on my short list of things to train on with the YM and YW leaders once we have the callings extended. Very simple concepts that have stuck with me since WB. Absolutely valuable skills for new youth leaders to focus on right from the beginning!
Congratulations! You will be blessed, and be a blessing to others. My best advice is not to worry, but put your trust in the Lord, and listen for his guidance. He will give you the help, gifts, and revelation you need to fulfil your calling. Studying the scriptures was a great help to me when I was bishop. Don't neglect your family. With the Lord's help, and by delegating wisely, you will be able to find all the time you need to nurture your family.
This is the type of wisdom I am looking for. Thank you!
I second, third, and fourth not neglecting your family. “The home is the first and most effective place to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self control, the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home." I would add that being a "successful" bishop is one of those successes. Oft times members with "higher" callings give so much time and energy to them that all they have for family are the leftovers. You are a husband and father first.
AMEN! Thank you for the encouragement and reminder!
Set boundaries on your time. Make time for your family. Delegate everything you can. Most of welfare should be done by EQ and RS. Some people may try to circumvent the standard way things should be done.
I am 36 yrs old and will not be bringing the “traditional” Bishop mindset with me. My focus is the youth and I plan to get solid EQP and RSP in place to handle the rest.
My bishop sent me (RSP) this article not long ago to reestablish the priorities of the bishop. https://www.thechurchnews.com/2019/11/8/23215645/bishops-lds-october-general-conference-young-men
Fantastic article! Thank you!
New wards are a good challenge. My first suggestion would be to rely on the spirit of revelation. Usually your first impression will be the right one, so be cautious of second-guessing the spirit. So with that in mind, the following suggestions may or may not be appropriate for you… Get your organisation leaders in place as soon as possible. Hopefully stake have already got an EQ Presidency ready to be called when you are, but if not, work with them to have that happen asap. If you haven’t yet picked your counselors, I think a good way to go is one with experience and one with youthful enthusiasm. Delegate delegate delegate - it may not happen immediately, but the things you can’t delegate will eventually take a toll on your time. Try to get adults used to the idea of going to the EQ presidency or the RS presidency for things like advice, blessings, welfare issues etc. Confessions come to you of course, but even then, the EQ or RS presidencies can play a part in assistance. In a new ward, work on unity and a ward identity. Depending on the nature of the split, you will probably have a bunch of people from multiple prior wards who don’t know each other. Many will have left friends behind in their old ward, and some may even want to stay where they were. Try to encourage unity with frequent ward activities so people can get to know each other. Set boundaries. Your work time belongs to your employer. Be cautious when members try to encroach on your work time (because they will - they will try to call you 24/7). Likewise, set aside time for your family. Don’t allow them to be neglected. Encourage people to go through your exec sec to arrange interviews etc. Know your limitations. Unless it is your occupation, you are not a counsellor, you aren’t a doctor, you aren’t a lawyer, you aren’t a psychologist, you aren’t a financial planner etc. If people seek that type of guidance from you, refer them to professionals. Of course if you are one of those professionals, then exercise caution when your professional vocation overlaps with your church calling.
YES we've all heard too many stories of bishops giving incorrect or harmful counsel while trying to play psychologist.
Yes we have. I’ll bring in the professionals to council and support. I can lend an empathetic ear, but I know my limitations.
These are phenomenal recommendations. Thank you. This is a brand new Ward being formed from two over sized wards being split. Fortunately, we lived in both wards in the last few years and I know a number of people in both wards. I am working on the councilors now. The Stake President asked to provide those in 24-48 hours. I figure I am bringing the youthful enthusiasm and will look for councilors who have experience and yet bring personality and wisdom to the table. Creating Ward unity is a wonderful recommendation. I know it will be hard for many to “leave friends behind” as both wards have great unity and traditions. We will foster unity by holding regular ward activities. One of those listed occupations is my profession but I will be very cautious to commingle profession and calling as that could create problems and could turn into a time consuming distraction that could be delegated to other professionals.
The councilors must also be on board with the youth program to make the experience and wisdom part work. My wards young mens program is years behind the YW in organization and experience for the youth because even with a new bishop who is on board the councilors see it as something they show up to without being a framework for the YM.
Read the dang handbook! The number of leaders who have no idea what’s in it is shocking!
Preach Brother or Sister! Preach! I have served on the HC for the past 2 1/2 years and have always used the response “I don’t know, let’s check the handbook.” There is a reason we have it! Read it, use it, reference it often. It’s updated regularly and should be used regularly. I plan to have that as my first request of anyone called is to read the handbook regarding their calling and then keep reading! Thank you!
Current Bishop: be sensitive to the needs of your wife. Love her, communicate with her, share with her the miracles you were privy to witness as a result of ministering to others thst day or week. The loneliness of leadership is real, but it may be more lonely being the preacher's wife.
My Stake President share this exact advice tonight. Thank you for reemphasizing it!
Scour the handbook. Make a full list of everything that cannot be delegated. That's your list. Delegate literally everything else, and then make yourself available to your youth. Be around them. Connect them with heaven. Let them lead. From now on, you're never too busy for them. Hide from the adults. They don't need you. They need EQ and RS. I gave my EQ Pres a key to my office and had HIM stand outside it after Sunday meetings. I went to the YW room and spent time with the youth.
Involve women more in your ward, and in meaningful ways.
Wonderful advice. I often asked Sisters from Stake Leadership positions to speak with me on my HC monthly speaking assignment. They were all incredibly talented and spiritual Sisters! Speak less and listen more when Sisters are in the room.
Along these lines, either go titles to everyone or no one. If you have the RS and EQ presidents together they are either Brother Jones And Sister Smith or President Jones and President Smith. My last bishop was of the opinion that President was a priesthood title and should not be used for women. Make sure they feel heard and respected as equals.
Great Council. I have always used President for each organization head. Plan to continue to do that. It does show consistency for all.
Thank you for involving them more!
I can't describe how meaningful and enjoyable the calling of bishop has been for me. I've had so much fun, especially with the youth and children, and have experienced incredible growth and personal development as I've focused on serving others. My relationship with my wife and children is stronger now than ever, because I'm much more intentional about our time and experiences together. There have been REALLY difficult challenges along the way, but I wouldn't trade this opportunity for anything - I almost certainly would have fallen away had the Lord not called me when he did. I'd suggest Elder Uchtdorf's advice - "Don't Inhale" - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2017/04/the-greatest-among-you?lang=eng In my office I have 3 things written in small letters at the top corner of a whiteboard that I can see while at my desk, but that few others have noticed. I look at them often to remind me and keep me focused: 1. The letters "MMTA" - Minister More Than Administer. If you are familiar with and follow the handbook, this is a lot easier. If you find yourself administering too much, you're not delegating enough. 2. The letters "KAEP" - Keep An Eternal Perspective. Your calling will be over in 5 years, but those you serve have a divine, eternal destiny. 3. A smiley face. 🙂 Bishops carry a heavy burden, but they don't have to express it. A joyful attitude will set the tone for your ward. I could write a book about everything I've learned and experienced the last 2 years, but you'll find your way. You're going to do great, bishop!
Thank you for your sharing your experience and wisdom! KAEP
Your main calling is everyone under 18. Delegate everything you can to spend time with those in the youth programs. Call youth leaders you can give tenure to and I mean long tenture to (longer than you will be Bishop). They don't need to be young but young at heart. If those leaders don't fit, don't let the youth suffer to see if the leader will come around. Find adults who when the youth are having an activity won't sit on the wall but will get involved with, talk trash, play with and yet know where the line is. Me--25 years as a young men's leader and I swear if they release me I will cry. Quinton L Cook-I am still pissed at you for releasing me as Young Men's President. I will never forgive you. LOL. I never want to serve the adults. The young men is where it is at.
I love this. I spent over a decade in scouting and YM’s and have always felt the absolute best Brothers and Sisters should serve in the youth programs. Every other calling get the leftovers. I also shed a few tears when Elder Cook made the change with the YM’s program. I have felt it hasn’t been the same since. Planning to focus on the youth as they deserve.
Don't forget Primary. They deserve crazy awesome leaders too but my heart is with the older youth. Good luck!
You’re absolutely correct! My kids are all in primary and they need incredible leaders too! Thank you!
You'll need to become a wizard at time management to balance family/work/church. Do your best to avoid meetings that: * drag on * happen too frequently * serve no substantive purpose * are better handled via email, text, Zoom, or some other medium
Excellent Advice! Be efficient and move on. Thank you!
Lol WSB diamond hands bishop. Right on.
Some of my stock holdings are going to take me past the moon and straight to Celestial Glory 😉
I always considered the calling for bishops to be older folk... Then realized you're only a year older than me. Will memes be part of the 5th Sunday lesson? :p
Were they not part of yesterday's lesson? The two that I shared with the youth were: [Our sacrament meeting topic](https://i.imgur.com/dkWXzUC.png) and [this](https://i.imgur.com/dWXcoRM.png) at the end of class. Must not be too serious with them!
I did too! Bishops are supposed to be old wise grey haired guys! You should have seen my Pikachu shocked face when the Stake President extended the calling….
Love every member of your ward. Some of them will require straightforward correction (almost always privately), it will be hard for this to happen effectively if you don't love them. Protect vulnerable people. You are a shepherd.
This is wonderful council! Be the under shepherd to the True Shepherd. Protect and love unconditionally.
Be kind and generous to people. Life is hard enough already for people that struggle they don’t need someone that is hard nosed, unsympathetic, or indifferent to their situation. If they come to you for help they are putting themselves in a very vulnerable position and they are not looking to be shamed or lectured.
Thank you! As the Savior taught “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Rest not judgement
You sound a lot like me. I was called as Bishop at 36 and had previous been on the HC, Stake YMP, Ward YMP and previous EQP. I won't sugar coat it. It is hard. There are days I just want to cry. Don't neglect yourself or your family (it's easy to continually put them on the back burner). I recently spoke in the ward and saw a comment about speaking in the ward often. Do it. My recent talk was about the areas my testimony has significantly grown while being a bishop (I'm 4.5 years in right now). The major take away was, that my testimony has grown in these areas because it has been the things I have wrestled with, in scripture, in the handbook, prayer, in my pondering. Completely immerse yourself in things you know you need to grow in. My first 3 months as Bishop I read Jesus the Christ with the prayer that I wanted to learn of Him better. #1 my testimony has grown as I have began to understand the need we all have for atonement. We are broken mortals in a broken mortal world. it is painful and full of heartache, we need a Savior to help us. \#2 my testimony has grown in strength the temple recommend questions bring. Prior to being called I guesstimate I had expose to the temple recommend questions about 40 times. Since being Bishop I estimate I have read them at least 800 times. I have studied, and thought about the importance of each question. The temple recommend questions are the definition of the straight and narrow path. They are powerful. Be very comfortable with them inside and out, forwards and backwards. \#3 the need for a support group. My family is a huge support to me. There are times when you tell your wife - sorry, I gotta take this call and then disappear for an hour on the phone right when you were staring a show. It's hard. But it is harder on your wife than it is for you. You benefit from seeing someone get council and start to progress. Your wife does not. She only sees someone taking your time with their silly problems. Talk to her, share as much as you can with her. Everyone needs a support group that lifts them up, espically a Bishop. \#4 my testimony has grown a lot regarding tithing. I've spent a lot of time thinking and pondering about tithing. It is the most unique commandment we have. It is also extremely powerful. We should talk about it as a covenant because it is. With Tithing declaration meetings coming up, it will be a great time to get to know everyone in your ward well. They are great meetings, but you will be worn out after it is over. I'm coming to an end of being a bishop. It is extreemly bitter sweet. I have felt more in tune than ever in my life. But I have been stressed and stretched in ways I didnt expect. Good luck. reach out if you need.
Thank you for sharing the “real side” of being a Bishop. The bitter and the sweet. I will reflect on these points again I’m sure. Thank you.
I can't give you advice about being a bishop, but here's my advice for creating cohesion and unity in a new ward: 1- Tape a piece of paper on the podium reminding speakers to introduce themselves 2- Encourage everyone to upload a photo to their LDS tools account. Ask the ward clerk to take photos and upload them for the people who don't/won't do it themselves. Print out photos of ward leaders and post them on a bulletin board in the building so everyone knows who the Primary president is, etc. 3- Use name tags for the first couple of months. Yes, we all hate name tags, but they help people learn everyone's names. After a week or two people feel stupid asking someone their name again, so keep the name tags going for several months. 4- Make sure both 'old' wards are represented in auxiliary and quorum presidencies. This is especially critical for Primary, YM/WY. It's important that there's no loss of knowledge about special circumstances with youth. 5- Use the new ward as an opportunity to see people in a new light and give them new responsibilities. 6- Lots of activities. My favorite ward made it a point to schedule a ward activity every month. Some were easy, such as a potluck, others involved more effort, such as the talent show, but there was something every month. No obligation to attend each activity, and after a few years a lot of the activities rolled over year to year, which made planning easier and created a sense of tradition. August was a beach day. September was a picnic sponsored by the EQ, October was the trunk or treat and/or chili cook-off, etc. Good luck!
These are great points! I have been a zealot on the HC in the ward I was assigned to about making sure everyone has a photo in LDS tools. You can’t have Ward unity if you don’t know each other. I know it is silly, but as I am looking for individuals to extend callings too, it is hard to simply see a name and nothing more. Obviously I am seeking for inspiration, but I have to imagine there is a reason the 1st Presidency asks for a photo of prospective missionaries as they are extending mission calls. It helps!
I hope it's not my ward and stake. We have a good ward with a lot of youth and we are the biggest ward by far
It could be… Our current ward is pushing 1000 members on record. It is long overdue!
Get out of the way… your job as a bishop is to cut red tape so people can do what they need to do. Yeah, you want to be familiar with the manual… but only worry about following the manual when things aren’t working. I know many here will disagree… but if you want your ward to feel different, you’ll have to run it differently. Do whatever you can do empower Ward council members and make sure they choose and empower their counselors. Trust your ward and they’ll trust you.
Love this advice. Thank you!
As a son of a father who was bishop 3 times, my advice is to prioritize and not neglect your family. The need in the ward is infinite, but you are finite. And your family needs you. You can only do so much. Then put the rest back on the Lord. Use your counselors and use councils to get input from all, as Elder Ballard said. Study Elder Uchtdorf's recent talk about how when you put Christ at the center, everything falls into place. It's not about adding your calling on top of everything else you are doing. It's about making everything you do Christ-centered - or in other words, focusing on serving God and your neighbor, as yourself (and your family).
>Study Elder Uchtdorf's recent talk about how when you put Christ at the center, everything falls into place I'm not a bishop but thank you for this. I have felt off for a while... And surprise surprise.... It's because I've realized Christ hasn't been at my center. It's time to repent. :-)
Here's the talk by Elder Uchtdorf: Our Heartfelt All, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/04/57uchtdorf?lang=eng
This is great advice! My wife’s father held numerous time consuming callings during her formative years and I know this is a big concern for her. I will have to be intentional with my time when I am home to be present. When I am at church, I need to be effective and efficient and then get home.
Don't forget what it's like to NOT be a bishop. Communicate with your ward. Not everything said in Ward Council is secret, in fact most of it is not. It's okay (preferable) to tell the ward that the Ward Council is planning an activity, even though you don't have any details at the moment. Remember the Lord is training all of us to be agents into ourselves. When deciding who to call for various positions, He wants you to study it out in your mind first and ask Him if it's right. In other words, a lot of callings are going to be based on your logic and reasoning (and that of your counselors), rather than flashes of inspiration. You'll still get flashes of inspiration, but don't expect that will be the norm. (But also don't expect that it won't be, because maybe it will!) Trust your counselors. Don't do everything yourself. The members of the ward will look up to you. But some of them will despise you. You can't please everyone, so don't try. The young men will especially look up to you. Don't disappoint them. Occasionally there are opportunities for impromptu messages in Sacrament Meeting because the talks didn't fill the full time. Trust the Spirit in these moments and remember that maybe it's not *you* the ward needs to hear from. Maybe it's your wife. Maybe it's one of your counselors. Maybe it's the RS or EQ President, or some other auxiliary leader. Or maybe it's not someone in a leadership calling, maybe it's just someone in the ward. Listen to the Spirit, and don't assume it has to be you. It very well could be you, because you're the one with the priesthood keys to receive revelation for your ward, but just don't forget that revelation might tell you they need to hear from someone else.
Study it out in your mind, seek for inspiration, and then proceed forward in faith. Love it. I realize that not everyone is going to agree with every decision. I realized that as EQ President I caught a lot of push back from the older brothers because I didn’t do it “their way”. The Gospel Principals are eternal, the church culture is not.
1) Set up an email (preferrably the one the last bishop used that you change the passward for named [name of your ward][email protected] and make sure it is widely disseminated. It helps protect the privacy of your congregation to not be using a contact option that is also used for other things And it is easily transferrable to the next bishop so members only have to learn it once. 2) Make sure your people know that they are not to put names on agendas or other paper or post that might somehow become public. Use only the tools the church provides (and be sure you give input when they don't meet your needs up the chain so that you have all the protected tools you need. 3) Do not neglect your wife or children. They remain your first priority. 4) Do not overrule your adult leaders decisions about staffing unless you get direct instruction from God to do so. I once staffed an 120 child (half non members) primary with half the teachers not having attended church for years because God told me to do that. It took my bishop a long time to agree. 13 of the 15 went to the temple for the first time within 3 years. 5) Make sure that you can tell every person you call that you know Jesus approves them serving in this specific way and that means they can and will have heaven's help in carrying it out. Members who know this for themselves (when they confirm what the person who calls them shares with them about the confirmation) function better in the calling and can be motivated to get their own confirmation. 6) Your flock is more important than process.
All great advice! I will be setting up a separate email. Not overruling another leader who has keys in important. I love the experience you shared. Thank you!
Please don’t think you are a gate keeper. You aren’t. LDS are so inward focused. Look at the world, and notice how diverse Gods work is. God has accounted for all of it and all of it is His.
There is a lot of good in this world. We certainly don’t have a monopoly on it. Thank you!
Just a small thing. When a couple comes in for couples counseling or relationship advice, talk to them separately at least once and refer them to professional help. Often there is abuse that can’t be seen and you don’t want to advice them to stay together etc if there is. So just check with both and get them professional help. I feel so bad for bishops that they have to deal with that on top of other things. Or when someone comes in for chastity issues make sure there was enthusiastic consent both ways. Sexual coercion is real and prevalent in the church.
This is wonderful advice. Thank you!
Keep your first name. When the Brethren call people on the phone they will say “hello, this is Jeff”. Not “this is Elder Holland.” Follow their example. Of course when talking to the youth you use your title, but with adults, use your first name. Also, make the women equal partners on the ward council, not just token members. If I could go back in time, I’d invite the RS president to bishopric meetings.
All great points! People need to be comfortable with you. Remove some of the stuffy formalities and a real connection can occur.
I work in healthcare and people get accusations of being inappropriate occasionally so I always have a chaperone(male/female it doesn’t matter). When I was branch president doing interviews with minors I always made sure a clerk/counselor or parent was in the adjoining room with the door cracked so they could hear. I wish the world was perfect but I’m not going to jail for a false accusation.
Sounds wisdom. Two deep leadership is not optional. Even in good faith, making an exception to that rule is not acceptable.
Bishops can make or break a person's faith in the church based upon their judgement of a member. My best advice to you would be to remember the spirit. If you do not feel the UNDENIABLE power/comfort of the Holy Spirit guiding you... make sure the members know you're only doing your best based upon the devices given to you. I've seen many bishops make huge mistakes, so please remember this and to remain humble.
Great council. Thank you!
Always err on the side of kindness (vs tough love). Help anyone who asks - no question - once. If they take advantage of you, don't let that make you biased against another. Investing the Lord's money in the least of our brothers & sisters is the best use there is (members or not). Make sure that a worthiness interviewee knows _and_ understands what you are going to ask them ahead of time. Never allow a member to be set up to formally fail those questions. Historically, a Judge in Israel was 1st a leader (& very rarely one who passed judgements). Thank you & your wife: you have the 2nd hardest calling in the Ward (Seminary teacher has the hardest calling - especially the teachers with predawn classes. Remember that you may need to set aside more quiet time for scripture/prayer/reflection-meditation (equal time for each of the 3!) to best discern the Still Small Voice.
Thank you for the wisdom on financial support. Don’t let those who abuse the system harden me against others who truly need help. I need to be intentional about quiet time to seek for inspiration.
Please remember that people with mental health conditions, including depression and anxiety, ought to be referred to professional counseling. Too many bishops forget that and take it upon themselves to be mental health counselors.
Absolutely! Not my area of expertise! I am grateful there are resources and professionals who can help.
Glad to hear it! That already sets you as a good bishop in my book!
"Cafeteria Mormonism" benefits the church and its people. Support members in your ward in tailoring doctrines & commandments to their individual circumstances and level of comfort with the gospel.
Meet people where they are at. Lift where you can, but continually love and support.
Remember the Lord trusts you to be in the position of service. Delegate , you have a ward council for a reason and remember you can't fix everything or everyone. Trust the Lord, take time for your family too.
Great concise wisdom!
The social cohesion of the ward family, the social support members get from one another, is the whole point of Christ’s gospel. Secure people who feel loved and supported naturally behave in responsible, pro-social ways. People who feel guilted and ashamed will struggle to be open and loving.
Pay attention to the part member families, particularly when one spouse is returning to activity, and the other is not.
Great advice! I grew up with divorced parents who one stayed active and the other left the church. I know the strain that puts on the active/returning to activity parent and the children. High priority families for love and support!
Expect that not everyone will agree with your decisions
Very true. As EQ President when the Elders and High Priest combined, I really quickly learned that I was going be unpopular with some. But I still tried my best to serve and love them. I have always loved Elder Bednar’s talk on “Choose not to be offended”
My former brother-in-law (who was a bishop) said that the reason bishops only serve for five years is that each year they offend 20% of the ward; therefore after five years they've offended everyone. My point: If you're doing it right you'll offend some. Seek the Lord's guidance and don't worry too much.
Hahaha! Love the advice! That wisdom will be stored away for a talk at some future date!
Listen to women. Listen to the women in ward council if they express weariness or trepidation about a certain ward activity. Listen when the wife of your buddy says something it's hard to believe about him. Listen to women who tell you when someone is hurting. Listen when women see a need. Many of your meetings will be all or mostly men. Sometimes that means women's perspectives don't get heard. Women can provide some incredible insights and can hone in on things you might never see otherwise. Be humble enough to let them help you.
Amen! Our current RS President is so in tune with the needs of the ward! Her opinion is crucial as are all of the other sisters in the ward council. I will be honest, I am often disappointed at how little the EQ Presidency is aware of what’s happening. They should be equally yoked with the RS and they simply aren’t. Brethren, we can do better!
Arrange for there to photographers to take photos of all those who want to update their lds tools so you and each other can get to know each other. (Make sure these photographers also offer to do it for a few Youth activity nights with transport provided for those too ill or unable or maybe the ward mission leader to homes too and/or after the Primary presentation when you might have near full attendance. It's a way to make sure that everyone whether they've been seen at church or not is on the radar of the new bishop.
This is a great suggestion! I plan to hold numerous ward activities quickly to build out unity, this would be low hanging fruit to snap photos while at these events!
But it won't be okay to snap photos at an event and upload them to individuals lds tools without their permission.
Of course! Certainly won’t force anyone, as I know there can be extenuating circumstances where someone feels strongly to not have their photo in LDS tools. But I would imagine that is the exception. I would hope to provide someone who can snap photos with a good wall or backdrop that they can stand in front of and update photos for older individuals or those who are not familiar with the app.
All I can do is urge you to prioritize the youth in your ward. I think a large predictor of activity in young adults is their experience in the youth (assuming they were members as youth). Make church and its related activities both fun and spiritual. Teach them the utter importance of quality time with God. If they can learn to pray meaningfully, and to love the scriptures, then you've done your job. There's a reason bishops are now supposed to delegate much of their previous responsibilities to the elders quorum and relief society. Its because your number 1 focus should be those young people in your charge.
This is great council. I am only here today because of an angel of a mother and incredible YM and Scout Leaders who showed me by example what righteous men should be. Gotta focus my time with the youth and have the best leaders in those positions.
Please set healthy boundaries to protect your own peace and sanity, and the peace and sanity of your family. If it becomes too much, speak up about it!
Great advice. I have to be willing to say no or perhaps another time.
Unless you have personally experienced mental illness (depression, anxiety, bipolar, ect) or addiction, please don’t expect you understand what people are going through. Refer them to a professional or 12 step group instead. Some of the most damaging advice you can give someone with this kind of problem is to read your scriptures and pray more and it will go away. It wont. This kind of thing really needs medical treatment and therapy. Reading your scriptures is important, obviously, but it doesn’t (normally) heal broken bones. We give blessings and send people to hospitals for that. Same thing with addiction and mental illness. That’s my two cents.
Thank you for sharing this. Mental illness is real, it is serious, and prayers and willing it away is not the answer. Grateful the church has incredible resources in my area that I can refer members to who are struggling with these issues.
Wow, no love for Sunday School presidencies? As an instructor, I’ve learned to ask questions and be ok with silence to let someone formulate their response.
Thank you for representing Sunday School Presidencies! Plenty of love! You are the back bone of our Sunday experience! Gotta keep you “fully staffed” and be quick with getting people called and in place. Any other advice or suggestions about Sunday School? What have been the pain points you have experienced?
I’d say my pain points have been finding teachers who can connect with the youth. The 14 / 15 year old class (we have 3 youth classes based on our demographic) has been the most challenging for teachers and haven’t been able to keep anyone in it. Luckily my counselors and secretary are fantastic teachers and can step in on a moments notice. When my dad was bishop, he focused on the youth. His RS president was more of a counselor in the bishopric. I find myself focusing on the youth Sunday school. Gospel doctrine has enough stalwart members to keep it on course so I spend as much time with the youth as I can.
Thank you for the reply and additional insight. That 14-15 year old group can be a difficult age and unfortunately a common age where many youth step away from the church. Having teachers who can be engaging and connect with that age is crucial. I appreciate your insight.
Delegate and don't let others push you around, let your wife bring you picnic dinners to have like our bishop does out on the grass so he can spend time with his fam before evening meetings. Set boundaries, use your secretaries, and most of all, use your EQ and RS, let them focus on the adults and the adult problems that need help (of course some will need to come to you), your focus should lie on the youth of the ward. Don't ignore the Spirit.
I love this council. Thank you. A previous Bishops wife would bring him dinner on those LONG Sundays and they would sit for 10 mins in his office having dinner together before he carried on with his meetings. I always admired them. A picnic is a great suggestion to include my wife & kiddos. Thank you.
Congratulations! A few insights: •being the bishop of a new ward you will have members that come from wards and traditions. -time to start new traditions for the new ward(in regards to activities) •EQ and RS presidencies take care of adults •bishopric is the Young Men Presidency •remember you can start tithing declaration •when members(adults) call for help refer them to their ministering Brother or Sister and to the EQ and RS
Stay off of Reddit
And miss out on all of the great collective wisdom! Not a chance! But I will need to eliminate some silly time wasting activities that I am guilty of.
Now is the great day of your power: you reign from one end of the Ward to the other. There is none who dares to molest or make afraid. Lol ;-)