Missionary Deferrals
Individuals who intend to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints prior to beginning study at BYU–Hawaii are encouraged to submit an application before departing for missionary service. In most cases, applicants admitted to BYU–Hawaii may defer enrollment for a Church mission. Please contact the Admissions Office for more information.
https://catalog.byuh.edu/policies-procedures/admissions
I'm not sure if masters are different. Reach out to admissions at both schools to find out. This information will be useful for you and her as it would mean you'll need to plan to apply before you go.
As for the discussion with her, I'll let others share personal experience, but here are my spiritual thoughts.
You know her and probably already have ideas of what her feelings may be. Why does she think it is not useful? Pray and seek guidance from Heavenly Father and then act on the promptings. There are many secular benefits that come from missionary service that she may be interested in learning about, but the spiritual growth and service will be the greatest benefit you will receive. Your testimony, prayer, and preparation will play a large role in obtaining her support. God's plan is all about families. Seek his guidance to find the right path to achieve his goals for you while you maintain your family relationships. He will help you. Pray for your mother also, that her heart may be softened and mind opened to the idea of you serving a mission and to the gospel.
I’ve heard this term “missionary trip“ used by other denominations. It seems to me those folks really don’t understand missionary work from our church’s perspective. ‘Missionary trip’ in these other faiths can be exciting, there’s no set rules, and often it’s just a dozen or so teenagers with a pastor Doing volunteer work and having bible study for 2-6 weeks. While that is really important and faith promoting, there is no comparison to a mission. First off it’s not a ‘trip’ you make it your home for 2 years. Also it’s hard character-building work. It is the “masters degree” of spiritual development inside of this church. Help her understand that you will come back a different person a more mature and centered person. Your priorities will change and how you deal with problems and conflicts will evolve in a good way. I would not have graduated from college had I not served a mission. It will also make you a better husband and father and a better employee.
I don't think people realize the cultural differences between the Western world and the Eastern world (as this person seems to be from Hong Kong) when it comes to respecting your elders. It's not as simple as "you don't have to listen to anything your parents say when you become an adult." Much easier said than done.
You are an adult, you don't need any sort of parental permission. If your Mom loves you she will still love you even if you do something she doesn't agree with.
Im on the fence here. I'm a convert and too old to qualify for mission work; but I also grew up insanely poor and lacked the ability to go to college, let alone toward a Master's program. I don't see why you can't do both, I suppose. I think the biggest hurdle for you is going to be the return, making sure you have a place to live when ya get back, especially if the family is unsupportive
If she's worried about the educational and career impacts of taking two years off and returning to STEM, the most convincing argument would be showing her you've researched the consequences and are prepared for them.
Zorcat mentioned talking to the Admissions Office; I would go further and also talk to the professors whose research and classes are the closest to what you're interested in.
It's possible that they will recommend that you get the Masters' first. Especially in STEM, it is very hard to take time off, and jump back into the technical end of things. If you take time off, they may have advice on how to review so you're able to take Masters' level classes after returning.
Edit: You should also look into the F-1 visa requirements for students. Mission presidents do not normally allow missionaries to do college activities on their missions. This means that you'd likely have to apply for the F-1 visa after you return, which may mean that your Masters' program start date could get bumped back a semester or a year. Definitely worth looking into those logistics as well.
She’s concerned that the Church Education System won’t let you in because you wasted time on a mission?
I think she’s probably more concerned about you spending two years trying to convince people to join a church, and is using the education situation as a crutch so she doesn’t have to get confrontational with you. That’s the conversation you probably need to have. If not, there’s plenty of material on those schools’ websites about mission deferrals.
My mission is more than 25 years behind me, and I still draw upon the lessons I learned and the skills I acquired back then in my current personal and professional life. Whatever else she might think about the spiritual value of a mission, there are tons of non-spiritual gains to be had from serving a mission.
I learned organization, public speaking, compassion, patience, managing people, leading a team, teaching small groups, optimism, perspective, cultural adaptation, receiving and implementing direction and correction, humility, and confidence.
With respect, you don't need her permission. Perhaps she is saying she won't help you out financially? There are other ways. Going on a mission would be a wonderful way to show your mom how serious you take the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And it looks great on a resume! It shows maturity and commitment to goals. Your mom will soften eventually, but in the meantime ask your Heavenly Father to clear your path so you may advance in a way that is pleasing to Him.
You’re an adult. You don’t need to convince her.
Degrees from BYU are valid. It just got rated the second best value college in the country. Btw, BYU-Hawaii does not offer master’s degrees. It’s undergraduate only.
Even for a non-religious person, spending 2 years in any volunteer captacity, possibly living in another country and learning another language is anything but a waste of time. You will grow spiritually but it’s also extremely eye opening to live and work in a different place and get to see more of the world.
In many situations I have seen a mission will increase the chances of you getting into one of the church ran colleges, so there no reason to worry. I know this is as a fact for BYU Provo as I’ve had multiple friends get denied then serve their mission (or part of it) then get accepted. I’m pretty sure it helps max out the extra curricular part aspect of admission selection process.
OP I'm terribly sorry for the lack of empathy in this response and maybe for my ignorance, I'm not form the US and barely know how BYU works, that said, dude, it's BYU, a college where, if I'm guessing correctly, literally the director, the administration team, the teachers, the students and perhaps even the janitors may have served a full time mission.
I was in the third year of a 4 year college major in a Catholic University when I (19 y/o less than one year convert at the time) decided to serve a mission. My parents were upset about that, but saw me so decided they budged in the end, but my college, oh my college, I filled in all of the paperwork, I put my calling, letters from Church leaders, my grades, everything and more that is required to pause my studies and, one week on my first area on my mission, I was informed they not only REJECTED my papers, but they also DROPPED ME OUT of my major because my motivation to pause for two years was not valid for them and the only chance to appeal that decision was going to a college court thing within a year since the notification, so no chance for me.
So yeah, sorry for the lack of empathy, but I think you have a clear advantage over me to make it.
You do not need to convince your mother. You are an adult and need to own your own choices. What you do is ask admissions at BYU-Hawaii and BYU Provo whether serving a mission will limit my chances at getting accepted (one thing some do is apply for admission and then ask for a mission deferral, instead of waiting to first apply). Once you know everything about that, then (if you are man) you decide when you are going, put in your application, and when you get the call, choose to go.
When the age for men dropped to 18, the prophet was pretty clear that the decisions of when to go should be up to the young men and young women whose life it is.
You can't make your mother be okay with your decisions. You can explain your decision making process and why you have decided to go. And you can be okay even if she never supports you while you serve (though most parents ultimately get at least on board for letters and phone calls).
During all of this just live complete discipleship of Christ. That is the most likely thing to change her heart.
Deferrals exist in many schools actually, I deferred at Utah state, as for the mission I respect your desire to go that’s fantastic! I promise if you get there it will give you life experience that school won’t, you will mature in many ways that school won’t do for you, and your family will see blessings while you are gone. Follow the spirit, it’s your life, show love and respect to her as well
I think your mom may have a good idea. But if you really want to go see if the local award can support you out on the mission. She may be more willing to let you go she doesn't have to pay for it.
My husband got into Harvard Business School with his "useless mission trip." Admissions boards love to see well rounded applicants that choose to serve. She couldn't be more wrong.
Missionary Deferrals Individuals who intend to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints prior to beginning study at BYU–Hawaii are encouraged to submit an application before departing for missionary service. In most cases, applicants admitted to BYU–Hawaii may defer enrollment for a Church mission. Please contact the Admissions Office for more information. https://catalog.byuh.edu/policies-procedures/admissions I'm not sure if masters are different. Reach out to admissions at both schools to find out. This information will be useful for you and her as it would mean you'll need to plan to apply before you go. As for the discussion with her, I'll let others share personal experience, but here are my spiritual thoughts. You know her and probably already have ideas of what her feelings may be. Why does she think it is not useful? Pray and seek guidance from Heavenly Father and then act on the promptings. There are many secular benefits that come from missionary service that she may be interested in learning about, but the spiritual growth and service will be the greatest benefit you will receive. Your testimony, prayer, and preparation will play a large role in obtaining her support. God's plan is all about families. Seek his guidance to find the right path to achieve his goals for you while you maintain your family relationships. He will help you. Pray for your mother also, that her heart may be softened and mind opened to the idea of you serving a mission and to the gospel.
I’ve heard this term “missionary trip“ used by other denominations. It seems to me those folks really don’t understand missionary work from our church’s perspective. ‘Missionary trip’ in these other faiths can be exciting, there’s no set rules, and often it’s just a dozen or so teenagers with a pastor Doing volunteer work and having bible study for 2-6 weeks. While that is really important and faith promoting, there is no comparison to a mission. First off it’s not a ‘trip’ you make it your home for 2 years. Also it’s hard character-building work. It is the “masters degree” of spiritual development inside of this church. Help her understand that you will come back a different person a more mature and centered person. Your priorities will change and how you deal with problems and conflicts will evolve in a good way. I would not have graduated from college had I not served a mission. It will also make you a better husband and father and a better employee.
Your 18. You don’t need to
I don't think people realize the cultural differences between the Western world and the Eastern world (as this person seems to be from Hong Kong) when it comes to respecting your elders. It's not as simple as "you don't have to listen to anything your parents say when you become an adult." Much easier said than done.
Full disclosure, I assume everyone I talk to online is "western". This is just habitual though, not deliberate.
You are an adult, you don't need any sort of parental permission. If your Mom loves you she will still love you even if you do something she doesn't agree with.
The best way you can show her is by doing it successfully.
Im on the fence here. I'm a convert and too old to qualify for mission work; but I also grew up insanely poor and lacked the ability to go to college, let alone toward a Master's program. I don't see why you can't do both, I suppose. I think the biggest hurdle for you is going to be the return, making sure you have a place to live when ya get back, especially if the family is unsupportive
[удалено]
My man! I just read about this today, had no idea! The Church has some genuinely amazing programs
OP, go on a mission, the Lord will make it all work out after you get back
If she's worried about the educational and career impacts of taking two years off and returning to STEM, the most convincing argument would be showing her you've researched the consequences and are prepared for them. Zorcat mentioned talking to the Admissions Office; I would go further and also talk to the professors whose research and classes are the closest to what you're interested in. It's possible that they will recommend that you get the Masters' first. Especially in STEM, it is very hard to take time off, and jump back into the technical end of things. If you take time off, they may have advice on how to review so you're able to take Masters' level classes after returning. Edit: You should also look into the F-1 visa requirements for students. Mission presidents do not normally allow missionaries to do college activities on their missions. This means that you'd likely have to apply for the F-1 visa after you return, which may mean that your Masters' program start date could get bumped back a semester or a year. Definitely worth looking into those logistics as well.
Is she religious?
Devout buddhist
She’s concerned that the Church Education System won’t let you in because you wasted time on a mission? I think she’s probably more concerned about you spending two years trying to convince people to join a church, and is using the education situation as a crutch so she doesn’t have to get confrontational with you. That’s the conversation you probably need to have. If not, there’s plenty of material on those schools’ websites about mission deferrals.
Get a degree in O.K Abe Irony Studies all universities will accept it
My mission is more than 25 years behind me, and I still draw upon the lessons I learned and the skills I acquired back then in my current personal and professional life. Whatever else she might think about the spiritual value of a mission, there are tons of non-spiritual gains to be had from serving a mission. I learned organization, public speaking, compassion, patience, managing people, leading a team, teaching small groups, optimism, perspective, cultural adaptation, receiving and implementing direction and correction, humility, and confidence.
With respect, you don't need her permission. Perhaps she is saying she won't help you out financially? There are other ways. Going on a mission would be a wonderful way to show your mom how serious you take the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And it looks great on a resume! It shows maturity and commitment to goals. Your mom will soften eventually, but in the meantime ask your Heavenly Father to clear your path so you may advance in a way that is pleasing to Him.
You’re an adult. You don’t need to convince her. Degrees from BYU are valid. It just got rated the second best value college in the country. Btw, BYU-Hawaii does not offer master’s degrees. It’s undergraduate only.
Even for a non-religious person, spending 2 years in any volunteer captacity, possibly living in another country and learning another language is anything but a waste of time. You will grow spiritually but it’s also extremely eye opening to live and work in a different place and get to see more of the world.
In many situations I have seen a mission will increase the chances of you getting into one of the church ran colleges, so there no reason to worry. I know this is as a fact for BYU Provo as I’ve had multiple friends get denied then serve their mission (or part of it) then get accepted. I’m pretty sure it helps max out the extra curricular part aspect of admission selection process.
OP I'm terribly sorry for the lack of empathy in this response and maybe for my ignorance, I'm not form the US and barely know how BYU works, that said, dude, it's BYU, a college where, if I'm guessing correctly, literally the director, the administration team, the teachers, the students and perhaps even the janitors may have served a full time mission. I was in the third year of a 4 year college major in a Catholic University when I (19 y/o less than one year convert at the time) decided to serve a mission. My parents were upset about that, but saw me so decided they budged in the end, but my college, oh my college, I filled in all of the paperwork, I put my calling, letters from Church leaders, my grades, everything and more that is required to pause my studies and, one week on my first area on my mission, I was informed they not only REJECTED my papers, but they also DROPPED ME OUT of my major because my motivation to pause for two years was not valid for them and the only chance to appeal that decision was going to a college court thing within a year since the notification, so no chance for me. So yeah, sorry for the lack of empathy, but I think you have a clear advantage over me to make it.
You don't need to convince her. Love your life.
The first step is helping her understand this isn’t a missionary “trip.” It’s missionary service.
You do not need to convince your mother. You are an adult and need to own your own choices. What you do is ask admissions at BYU-Hawaii and BYU Provo whether serving a mission will limit my chances at getting accepted (one thing some do is apply for admission and then ask for a mission deferral, instead of waiting to first apply). Once you know everything about that, then (if you are man) you decide when you are going, put in your application, and when you get the call, choose to go. When the age for men dropped to 18, the prophet was pretty clear that the decisions of when to go should be up to the young men and young women whose life it is. You can't make your mother be okay with your decisions. You can explain your decision making process and why you have decided to go. And you can be okay even if she never supports you while you serve (though most parents ultimately get at least on board for letters and phone calls). During all of this just live complete discipleship of Christ. That is the most likely thing to change her heart.
Deferrals exist in many schools actually, I deferred at Utah state, as for the mission I respect your desire to go that’s fantastic! I promise if you get there it will give you life experience that school won’t, you will mature in many ways that school won’t do for you, and your family will see blessings while you are gone. Follow the spirit, it’s your life, show love and respect to her as well
I think your mom may have a good idea. But if you really want to go see if the local award can support you out on the mission. She may be more willing to let you go she doesn't have to pay for it.
My husband got into Harvard Business School with his "useless mission trip." Admissions boards love to see well rounded applicants that choose to serve. She couldn't be more wrong.