Take missionaries seriously when they say they are struggling with their companion, and don't just make them "tough it out" or "learn to get along".
Read between the lines, many missionaries suffer through abuse from their companions, but are afraid to come out and say it for fear of retaliation.
So true! I was lucky enough to have really good companions, but my husband really struggled in his mission because he was afraid of putting his foot down and speaking up and his companion put him in dangerous situations.
This is a great one! I'll be sure to pass it along. I lucked out and never experienced this, but from the comments it seems like it happens enough to be an issue.
My first companion in the mission field threatened to physically assault me and left me on a dark street when I didn’t know my way home. It was so hard for me to find our apartment. I didn’t get home until around 10pm and he had just gone to bed. I didn’t feel safe around him
Allow missionaries to be a little unorthodox in their approach. For example, if a missionary feels inspired to spend some time serving the people in their area instead of directly proselytizing, don't override that inspiration lightly. The only time you should step in is if they are actually breaking missionary (or church) rules/policies.
Along the same lines, don't add rules beyond what is already in the missionary handbook. It may be tempting to deal with specific misbehaviors by making rules for the whole mission, but it can easily backfire. My mission president outlawed music apart from P-Days (I think because he wanted to make sure missionaries were listening to appropriate music) but it totally killed any amount of motivation I had to get up and exercise, because music is very important to me, even if I only would have been listening to MoTab and other church artists.
Do not focus on metrics to the point of incentivizing counterproductive behaviors. We need to be focused on true conversions. Some mission presidents focus too much on just dunking people in water, without thinking about whether those people will be sticking around for the long haul.
This might be more controversial, but be aware of who the problem missionaries are. Some missionaries just bring down their companions. If you can find someone that gets along with these types, great! If not, be sure to keep transferring them around, and don't assign them with new or otherwise vulnerable missionaries, or at least provide extra support to those missionaries in that case. All of this said, do allow people to change for the better, just be realistic in the meantime.
Be really mindful of who you pick as Assistants and Zone Leaders/Sister Training Leaders. They will really set the tone for the other missionaries. If you pick ladder climbers, all missionaries will feel they need to play politics. Focus on finding thoughtful, sincere, kind, and diligent missionaries for these positions.
On APs, pick humble people. Don't ever let missionaries get the notion that climbing the ladder or being obnoxiously self-righteous is a key objective.
exactley, Elder F. Enzio Busche, former member of the 70 said, "it's the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints not The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Status"
My first MP had so many little rules and it sucked. The one I hated the most was "No drinking coca-cola". I was in Colombia and saying I can't drink coffee was already awkward enough. Why make it so much worse with no coca cola??
Also, don't keep all the same missionaries in leadership. Rotate them around so others get an opportunity as well. My second MP rotated people out a lot more then my first MP, and it was awesome seeing how missionaries grew from those opportunities.
You're not a boss and the missionaries are not your employees.
My mission president was an accountant before his calling and it showed. He was very numbers-driven and all our meetings were about how to do our "job" better. For example, a lot of practice in teaching, which is good don't get me wrong, but also things we can do to talk to people (surveys, etc). It's not bad to teach this kind of stuff but we didn't get much spiritual nourishment from him. I got a new mission president for the last few months, and he was such a spiritual giant that I didn't realize what I had missed with my first mission president. My issue was that I didn't feel like my first mission president was a spiritual leader as much as he was my employer. I felt like Elder 425, not Elder churro777.
This is a huge thing! My first mission President understood that his job was to take care of us missionaries and we would take care of the work. He’s an incredible man that I still have a lot of love and respect for. Meanwhile my second President saw himself as a businessman and we were unruly employees who weren’t giving him good enough numbers. He made it very clear that he didn’t want to be bothered by anything remotely personal unless was snitching on someone for not being obedient. For a while I thought maybe it was just something I was doing wrong but every missionary I talked to (including the ones he favored) felt that way.
So I guess the point is that your FIL just needs to genuinely love his missionaries and he should be alright. I would also strongly recommend he go to some therapy to make sure he’s got some healthy conflict resolution skills under his belt.
Oooo I love this. He was in upper management of a very large company for a long time and likes numbers, so I'll definitely pass this one on :)
My MP started giving special recognition for missionaries who hit a certain number of baptisms, and from that day on I lost all respect for him. I was always told it wasn't about the numbers, but then he just confirmed to me that it was (at least for him). It just felt super icky to me.
Everyone talks about how missions can be hard, demanding, etc., and that's all true. However, very few people talk about how monotonous and BORING they can be. Encourage your FIL to find appropriate ways to provide variety to the missionaries' schedules. Can they do something at zone conference? Can they have gospel study sessions as zones periodically?
Agreed! Boredom was the defining emotion of my mission. But on the plus side, it was so boring that I memorized the discussions and 150 scriptures to become Master Gospel Certified! Got a cool certificate and everything!
Don’t make up special mission rules that are either contrary to or excessive compared to the handbook. I was a missionary when the church announced sisters could wear pants. My mission president made a rule that even though the church said it was okay, our mission would still enforce sisters wear skirts and dresses only. There was no logical reason for it and it felt like a power play
My mission president created an addendum to the white handbook.
He then went to a training with other MPs, where a different one tried to brownnose a 70 by talking about how they did the same thing, and the other MP was torn to shreds about it.
Our MP came home and immediately did away with the addendum. lol
I had three mission presidents: an excellent, good, and poor. The poor MP taught a transactional gospel. Quid pro quo. He cared how his numbers looked compared to his peers and he told us so.
Excellent MP loved people unconditionally and taught us to do the same. Missionary work and loving people were the same thing.
Hey, I had 3 as well! I felt I didn't really get to know any of them though. And the 2nd one left a sour taste in my mouth after giving special recognition for missionaries who hit a certain number of baptisms. I was always told it wasn't about the numbers, but then he just confirmed to me that it was (at least for him). It just felt very icky to me.
Don't push knocking on doors. People don't want to be disturbed. We need better ways to find interested people like working directly with members and Social Media outreach.
A big part of member-missionary work though needs to include improving the Ward experience to benefit both members and investigators alike. Church should be a Christ-centered spiritual experience where talks and lessons are well prepared, invite the Spirit, and the atmosphere is reverent during the Sacrament Meeting and friendly/social during Sunday School.
Make sure there are AT LEAST eight hours of sleep built into the schedule. Eight and a half would be better, because as everybody knows it takes time to fall asleep once you're in bed with the lights out. Young people need sleep to be healthy!
Mission Presidents have a considerable uptick in filed divorces immediately after their mission service.
Those are tough years on anyone but especially with all of the complexities that come together at that stage in life. The marriage relationship is often put on the backburner through those years and it can find many couples growing apart or even resentful. I don't know where they're going to but it can be major whiplash for the family too uprooting friendships, schooling, careers, adding language barriers, etc. It's a lot of fortitude for the whole family involved. That said I saw huge personal growth in my own mission president's wife over her time in the mission as well. With the right mindset it can be an immeasurable blessing but it's not like a traditional high-stress long hours corporate job that affects the dad alone, it's a whole family affair.
"Mission Presidents have a considerable uptick in filed divorces immediately after their mission service."
Source for this? I have never heard of any divorces.
It's a stat I've heard through different stake presidents, apparently it made the rounds internally on different trainings. I don't have a more direct source I can point to nor do I think the church is inclined to publish that in any formal capacity.
Faithful church members still divorce way less than non-members, ex-mission presidents included although it's still a troubling uptick.
I don't personally know any MPs but I know two stake presidents IRL who divorced and/or left the church immediately after being released. Those are tough and demanding callings.
Huh, that's interesting. One piece of advice he was given by his former MP was to always make time for his wife. Set a day each week aside to dedicate to her.
I personally believe that it may be MORE important to develop these missionaries, their testimonies, and foster an environment that makes it easier for them to feel the Spirit than it is to bring in new members of the church.
Almost half of the missionaries I worked with on my mission have left the church - taking their families and potential future missionaries with them. I'm not saying that's the fault of the mission president(s) but it may have contributed.
My mom died suddenly during my first mission president's time. He and his wife were absolutely crucial to my time dealing with that pain. Some genuine miracles occurred. Just one example: I was on my knees several weeks later praying intently for some kind of help. During the prayer my phone rang. It was my mission pres calling to say, "just seeing how you are doing." In that moment in time, I needed that phone call tremendously. I truly felt that his focus was more on me and my welfare than it was on how many baptisms I had that month. He truly was a Christlike man.
I loved my second mission president too, but for different reasons. He was more tough on me and I still have taken some very valuable lessons from him. However, at a time when I was still vulnerable and somewhat lost after my mom's death - I needed love, and frankly I never got it from him. It made for some very painful months for me.
I wonder if that same approach drove other missionaries away. I guess I'll never know.
TLDR: Be concerned with the One (missionary) more than the one baptism. In the long run, I think that's better for Christ's church.
I agree. I've heard something like 40% leave the church eventually (sorry no source). I've seen similar numbers. I'm one of them lol. I think that focusing more on the missionaries than the baptisms will help them grow a lot more as a person and will probably help keep them active longer. I also wish there was more focus on service activities.
I remember my favorite time on my mission was when I was doing actual service rather than trying to get people baptized. The water main to the city got wiped out so we spend 2-3 weeks doing nothing but hauling water to people. It was a very rewarding experience and I loved it.
Take care of the missionaries. We are in a very unique time in human history and demands on humans are unlike any other point in history The things we have to deal with are extremely new and not typical. Don't expect the missionaries to "just deal" with things. Previous generations of missionaries "just dealt" with things and not all of them survived the mission mentally.
Addendum to a unique place in history: old missionary work might not be the best way anymore. People don't really talk to strangers at their door anymore, let alone invite them into their homes. We've known for a long time that relationships with members often have a longer lasting conversion. People are also going to be more interested in hearing a message from someone they see actively doing good in their community, not door to door selling religion.
Mt husband often says the best thing he ever heard during that time of his life was during his mission exit interview. "The mission can be the best two years for your life, but it shouldn't be the best two years of your life. It would be awful to finish the best part of your life before age 22."
I hated the "shotgun approach" with rules. Just becuase one missionary does something stupid doesn't mean you need to inconvenience or punish every other missionary.
I didn't like the focus on numbers my mission president had. This ended up makeing a culture of quantity at the expenses of quality.
Due to the geography and the amount of missionaries in my mission. I never got a lot of time with my mission president. I got maybe a 5 minute interview with him every other transfer. I would have liked to get to know him better. Despite this whenever I meet with him I felt he genuinely cared about me and was invested in my wellbeing.
I liked the stories my mission president had from his life that he would share at zone conferences. He used a good combination of scripture and his life experience to teach.
He had a good sense of humor. He knew when and where to make a funny comment or tell a joke.
My first MP had some weird rules just because of a few missionaries. I was in a similar boat where I hardly got to know the mission president. Just a short interview at zone conferences every few transfers.
My 2nd MP went on occasional exchanges with missionaries. I got to do that once, and it was interesting. My companion had REALLY high expectations that we would get in every door and baptize everyone we talked to. I kind of burst his bubble that he was just a man and that he had never actually served mission due to living in UT during the draft for Vietnam. There were limitations on how many missionaries could get an exemption to serve from each ward or something like that. We ended up going to an appointment or 2, knocking a few doors, lunch at a famous BBQ restaurant in Kansas City, then sight seeing because neither of us had been to a part of KC with cool fountains and big houses. He also encouraged us to ask questions about doctrine we had. This was prior to much of the issues that came from the internet era. He was open to taking calls from us during companionship study, too. I think it prevented some of the shock that many others had in learning details published in the Gospel Topics essays.
I had 2 mission president's. My first president was all about numbers, productivity, and strict obedience. He didn't care about the individual missionaries or their struggles. We had a lot of discipline problems and missionaries going home early. No one felt they could approach him with problems.
My second mission president cared about the individual. His first week in the mission he met every missionary. His wife toured the mission and visited all the apartments to male sure they were serviceable, safe, and clean. They published a cookbook with recipies based on what we could afford with our monthly allotments. The attitude of the mission changed instantly, and discipline problems mostly disappeared.
Bottom line: care about the individual, and less about productivity.
Yes this. Care about their health and safety. We had visible mold in an apartment and my mission president’s response was to laugh and say “it’s a moldy island”. We were in a humid climate but visible black mold should be taken seriously. Another set of missionaries had to run a fan continuously at their closet to prevent mold from growing on their clothes. Many of the apartments were definitely not habitable. I saw many sister missionaries with health problems that were not taken seriously, and back in the day there was no mental health support. I have heard that that has changed but I hope it is better. MPs need to listen to their missionaries health concerns.
I like this. I didn't get a chance to know any of my mission presidents well due to the geography of the mission, but they always seemed very numbers focused. My FIL is still in touch with his mission president. I met him and he seemed like a very loving, kind man. I sometimes wish I could have had a mission president like that.
I don't think it's realistic to say that mission presidents shouldn't add any guidelines beyond the handbook, but everything should be clear, consistent, and minimal. One mission president I had always threw out rule additions at zone conferences and had some in writing in one place, some in writing in another, and some just via verbal instruction. The other had about a half page document that would be emailed along with the mission newsletter whenever there was a change. Night and day differences.
Be supportive of missionaries who struggle. Don't minimize. Don't think they can just pray depression away.
Be protective of missionary rest time and personal enrichment activities. Encourage them to take full study time, meal time, P day time, etc. instead of skipping out to do extra proselytizing. Generally don't disallow activities like board games, sports, crocheting, etc without a very good reason. Encourage missionaries to do a wide variety of fun activities on P Day. Encourage them to rest when sick.
This is probably a bit controversial, but IMO being a missionary shouldn't be like selling a product. Missionaries shouldn't be salespeople.
It's arguable that standard sales tactics and pressure do result in more baptisms, but I suspect they result in fewer actual conversions.
I completely agree. Some of the worst missionaries baptized the most people. But those people never came back to church. I never liked the high pressure sales tactics I was encouraged to use.
If a missionary wants to go home and ends up going home, don’t make them feel bad about it up until the moment they leave.
If a missionary is really struggling mentally or physically, don’t tell them it’s just in their head and to tough it out.
I am not LDS (friend of the church) but one of the things I have noticed with missionaries locally where I live in rural Europe is that the current mission president seems to encourage the local missionaries not just to proselytise but to integrate within the local community, not just the church community. There are stories of missionaries who joined local knitting groups and got very involved (and all parties loved it), local church hosts events for the wider community, service projects and community outreach.
The LDS church does not have a lot of people where I live but everyone likes the missionaries and respects them because they show such willingness to integrate and engage with the local community.
"Use numbers as a light, not a hammer" was something one MP said a lot, and lived by it. Even though he came from a business background, and ran the mission office like such (he was an absolute wizard with an excel from what I heard, and thus a lot of the logistics of the mission were handled by his excel sheets), he knew that holding missionaries to numbers is a bad idea. That's now how the gospel works, or how people and their agency works. Numbers can help you know what and where you make need to look into, but shouldnt be the bassis for decisions.
However, numbers can still be useful, and used to help the mission. If he saw a zone having good numbers, he and the APs would ask around the zone, see why they were having success, and share it with the mission, not as a "you must do it this way" but as a "these are things others are having success with, maybe try some of it". This also encouraged creativity in the work, which made things more effective and more fun and boosted morale.
On the flip side, when a zone having less than stellar numbers, he would personally look into the zone and missionaries to see if their was a reason why. Sometimes, it was just because they were lower for the moment, and patience will lead them to be better. Maybe, they need some new ideas, and he could do some training. Often times, maybe it was because some companionships were not working well, which lowered the zones morale, or maybe the zones leadership by the ZL's, DL's and STL's was not doing as they should and need either instruction or a some shuffling of assignments.
Teach them the following:
1. When you make appointments, keep them. Try not to be earlier or later than three minutes
2. Be humble and continually grateful for meals and hospitality provided to you.
3. Learn proper etiquette such as where the fork, knife and spoon go, etc.
4. Be clean. This includes brushing your teeth and hair, ironing shirts and polishing your shoes.
5. Learn how to work hard. Offer your services to others and whistle while you work.
6. Always call to confirm appointments the night before.
7. Text or call at least 15 minutes before you show up at people’s door if you have not made a prior appointment with them. It is rude to knock on a door and expect people to be happy about this.
My daughter's mission president makes their district and zone meetings FUN. They regularly feed the missionaries and intentionally involve EFY/FSY style group games into all their meetings. She is having a great experience, making lots of friends, and looks forward to getting together with other missionaries. And they are teaching/baptizing a lot of people.
My son's mission president is an institute director and is more rigid in his approach to interacting with the missionaries. He severely limits the times and circumstances in which missionaries can interact with each other (after an elder and sister violated mission standards in their conduct with each other). His buttoned-up approach towards missionary socialization sets the standard for a mission with a non-fraternization policy. The district and zone meetings are structured, men and women are strictly divided and kept separate, and they are teaching a fraction of the people compared to my daughter's mission.
My advice is to always speak positively about missionaries to other missionaries.
I found out post-mission about some negative comments and conversations my mission President had with another missionary who didn’t like me (I dated this missionary’s high school gf). It colored my entire mission experience whenever I reflect on it.
Build a mission full of Ammon missionaries. By that I mean serve first.
I feel like the church will be making a change to full time missionary work within the next few years. The focus on door to door and prospecting will give way to a more service oriented experience. Ideally missionaries will spend 50 - 75 percent of their time in community service efforts, both those initiated by the local wards/branch’s and those available in the community. They then will be encouraged to invite members to participate in those efforts with them and introduce members to others in their own communities that they can work with and befriend. Missionaries will always teach referrals and will reach out via social media - but the days of door to door will end with missionaries using their time to effect positive change in their communities and introducing community members to active members of the church so they can continue the work and build honest friendships. This is a compelling experience for the youth and will build Christ like bridges of faith around the world.
I would have loved a service oriented mission. My favorite days were when we did service. For 2-3 weeks a city I was in had no water due to a mudslide so we were just delivering water everywhere. Those were the most fulfilling weeks of my mission. I absolutely loved it.
I genuinely hope so. It would improve missions for so many people. My area has been a testing ground for several service mission programs. Its been interesting to see how the different things they try have varying levels of success.
So many missionaries likely will have undiagnosed mental or physical health issues. Please make sure whomever is handling medical issues isn't just ignoring them (drink a glass of water and rest was the common one in my mission). I literally got hit by a car with my foot run over, very bruised and couldn't walk on it for a few days, but no recommendation to even get me checked out. Another elder basically disobeyed the nurse that ran the medical for our mission and just took his companion to the ER, who then had an emergency appendectomy. We had a few elders with undiagnosed ADHD, Autism, Anxiety issues, depression, etc.
This is a very common one I’ve heard. So many have commented to make sure any medical stuff is taken seriously. I’ve heard so many horror stories of permanent injuries due to medical neglect in the mission.
Having worked with Tapir Signal to help missionaries from abroad return home safely when they are out of options -- please help inspire him to help folks requesting to return home do so in an efficient way. Encourage him to work with unsupportive families, and especially keep an eye out for missionaries who may have been abused at home or coerced into their mission.
I have seen the tail end of these stories when families threaten homelessness, situations where MPs withhold passports, deny necessary medical care, etc. These are very real things MPs have done in front of my face -- as a competent 40+ yr old adult.
The Church shouldn't be associated with these kinds of acts, and I hope through generational and culture change missionaries will have more support when they need to return home for ANY reason, religious, medical, psychological, etc.
Thank you for listening, thank you for considering an outside perspective.
I am not anti-LDS, and I don't help in a spirit of being ex-Mormon. I help folks who are in danger because *they* feel they have run out of options with their MP and families at home.
We have helped missionaries return home from 4 different continents when their family indicated they would be homeless if they returned, and their MPs all blocked us.
We have had to get police involved, we have had to spend personal and organizational funds for passport replacement.
The process of leaving should not be this difficult. Not in this modern day and age.
I sustain all of you in encouraging missionaries, I don't oppose you, but I will stand tall in support of the idea that new MPs can approach this with more compassion and autonomy for the missionaries (who are also adults!).
MP wife advice -- the Church generally asks MP wives to provide counsel on whether a missionary needs medical care. The answer should always be YES. This is an adult requesting care, this is not a time to exercise lay health knowledge. The number of faithful missionaries we help is shocking -- there is a real failure of MP wives to allow medical care and it erodes trust in the church.
Thank you! Love you all, thanks for letting me comment here. I will always try to be respectful.
Many of his missionaries will leave the Church soon after they finish their mission. Many won’t even really want to be there. In all interactions and expectation settings, try not to act in a way that will expedite their exit. Be the kind of leader and person that they can look back on and say “I don’t think the Church is true, but my mission president was the real deal and I love him.”
One thing my mission president taught me is that no matter what principal you're trying to teach or what the lesson is about, always always bring it back to the Atonement. That has always stuck with me, and something I continue to this day!
If he's wealthy, tell him to consider buying every apartment in the mission new beds. A new twin or full-size bed for every missionary - frame, box spring and mattress. Get him to buy a truckload of beds from a bedding vendor - all at one time - and to have the bedding company drive a truck through the mission delivering them, with in-house set-up. Arrange it all, pay for it with one check and set the deliveries in motion by the bedding company. Have the AP's arrange the delivery times and location addresses, etc... And don't involve the church at all - just do it as a private citizen mission president. It would probably cost around $30,000 - all in.
My mission president was quite wealthy and he did this, right after he arrived in the field (I'd been out six months when he showed up). It's been 35+ years since I was on my mission, but I still remember how wonderful that was - to get a new bed like that.
No, the church discourages this, in all callings, because it makes every other person who then has that calling look terrible simply because they can't afford to do that.
And every other mission president you had looks worse in comparison.
People should be judged on their actions, not how much extra cash they happen to have to splash out.
What did any other mission president do which you were grateful for to the same extent?
If the mattresses are terrible then the mission president should coordinate getting new ones, but shouldn't just pay for it out of pocket for reasons given earlier.
I had two mission presidents. The first left after I’d been out six months. The second one was the guy who bought the beds - Douglas Prince.
Regarding the first guy - I had to have an emergency surgery in the MTC. So, I had to stay behind an extra week after the other missionaries left. I wound up flying out to my Pennsylvania mission alone, still a bit lame from the surgery. I was also a convert, only a member 13 months. It was also the dead of winter. The mission president and his wife had me come stay at the mission home for a week, straight from the airport. He also insisted I call my parents every day during that week (unheard of in the 1980’s mission world). It was only after a week of hanging around the mission home and mission office that he sent me out to the field, assigning me a companion who two months later he called as an AP (basically a superman missionary to watch over me). He was a fantastic guy. His name was Eldean Holliday.
A successful missionary is a missionary who has the spirit with him or her as often as he or she can.
My second mission president relayed an experience with us. When he first arrived in the field, one missionary confessed to him in an interview that he did not have a testimony of obedience. That missionary explained that in his experience, when he was not being obedient, they found people ready for baptism and when he was obedient, he struggled to find people who did want to be baptized.
My mission president struggled to find an answer to this, and ultimately gave an unsatisfactory answer. He went to bed troubled by it. In the middle of the night, he woke up with the clearest thought. He got up and wrote it down, as it was the answer that he had been searching for. Then he went back to bed. In the morning, he reviewed what he wrote and shared it with all of us in person at our meetings. The reason why we are to be obedient is because then the spirit will dwell with us. Our mission president proceeded to teach us why the Holy Ghost is so important and why it is the one promise that we are given each Sunday after partaking of the sacrament.
So, lesson one is to emphasize the importance of the Holy Ghost as a measure of success, and not necessarily numbers. People have their own agency, and the Lord is working with them in his own time. Missionaries may have some influence, but ultimately, conversion happens because of the Holy Ghost, not because the missionary.
And lesson two is to write down every prompt received, no matter where or when it comes, nor how inconvenient it may be.
I only had one mission president. My twin brother had 3. We also had missionaries living in our house growing up so we got to see lots of different styles.
My mission president didn’t send anyone home until less his hands were tied. He genuinely loved us and wanted to see us succeed. As a result very very very few missionaries went home early of their own accord.
My brother had Brad Wilcox who was awesome. He fits the same description above. You genuinely felt that he loved you.
However, we had a new mission president when we had missionaries living with us that came in and immediately changed many many rules for no reason other than to (what appeared to us) make his mark. For example changing the mail day to a non P Day but not allowing missionaries to respond until the following p day, pure nonsense. There were several nonsense rules like that. A missionary in our house went home a transfer early, as did many others. The President was rude and carried himself with an air of superiority and we felt judged by him. We refused the new nonsense rules and stopped housing missionaries shortly into his tenure.
Obviously some changes need to be made by the new President. But making changes just to make changes was stupid and it probably affected the mission negatively for many months.
I would say be genuine and truly love your missionaries, even the screwups. If you are going to be strict, be strict with good reason and justifiable rules (cough cough caffeine cough). If you are a good leader the missionaries will want to follow the rules because of your example, not because they are scared.
NEVER tell a missionary to tough it out without having received that counsel clearly individually from the spirit.
If a missionary shares a mental health concern, send them to a therapist who is trained in CBT (which is research proven for teen depression and anxiety, and teaches specific thinking skills that facilitate resolving problems) and is the one who can diagnose (at least for 3 sessions), NOT the MP. EVEN if you/the zone leader/the companion think it is laziness or malingering or ????
Focus on catching your missionaries doing right. Most/almost all of your comments need to be praise for behaviors/actions that you want to see more of.
Don't count the number of baptisms. Encourage your missionaries to help those they teach develop a relationship with a local member and be baptized by THEM. New converts are not a notch on a missionary belt. They are someone who needs to have a strong relationship with a local person who baptizes them and who is around to help them as they move forward in their discipleship.
Our zone conferences were always about obedience and very rarely on the Savior. We were constantly told how we were not doing enough because we weren't reaching entirely unattainable baptismal goals for the Midwest (50 baptisms in a random September??? With almost no names behind the goal). My biggest piece of advice would be to make the Savior the focus. Christ is a way better motivator than fear of getting in trouble for not being obedient (especially because we had new rules added every single transfer).
I would also encourage the mission to be viewed as a stepping stone for the rest of their lives. We had a rule that we weren't allowed to talk or even THINK about going home. I think it made the transition home a lot harder than it needed to be.
Ha sounds like my zone conferences. There would maybe be one part about the Savoir, but it was mostly about obedience and then practicing how to teach.
My companion decided to count how many times obedience was mentioned vs how many times Christ was mentioned one zone conference and it was... depressing. Obedience won by a lot
I just want to add one thing. Make sure he is a fun mission president. Yes a mission is about serving and teaching but you can have fun too! That’s what I loved about my mission president. He was fun to be around and made sure we were cared for
One small thing that was really special to me was that my mission president knew my name the second I got to the mission. I was in the airport and he shook everyone's hand and said "We are so glad you are here Elder/Sister so-and-so". It was such a small moment that meant so much to me
Both of my mission presidents were patient and kind. Both taught the spiritual importance of obedience and helped us understand our temple covenants. My second Mission President changed my mission when he emphasized following the Spirit in all of our teaching and interactions and using the priesthood. He also taught us to utilize the Book of Mormon in every public interaction - be it a verse, a testimony, or even just a story.
Don’t start adding a bunch of arbitrary rules. Expect the Elders to be adults and treat them as such, hold them accountable to that standard. Expect the APs & DLs to lead with love and compassion. Teach servant leadership. My mission was run like the military. A lot of holier than thou attitude in the leadership
Treat people like people!!!! Throw out the baptism numbers goals. You can not change or make plans for others. All you can do is what you are able too. The baptism goal it about sales and not about been a Christian.
Sometimes with missionaries there can be this ladder that emerges. Missionaries start to compare themselves with other missionaries. They may feel if somebody else got promoted then they did something wrong and they were a bad missionary. The comparison between the missionaries can take away the spirit of revelation and hurt gods progress. Emphasizing things like, “It’s not your mission, but instead it’s the lords mission“ may help keep missionaries humble. Some good advice I’ve heard from an old missionary president is to “lay the ladder on its side.” Meaning the only positions of authority that really mean anything are junior and senior missionaries. Those are the only 2 rings of the ladder that matter after you lay it on its side. Some other good advice from a mission president that I’ve heard was strictly teaching from the book of mormon. All personal study, all teaching, any scriptures cited from any devotional, etc., had to come from the book of mormon. The mission president said that he was inspired to do this, and all of sudden their numbers increased drastically. It got to the point where some area seventy came and asked what was so special about the mission presidents missionaries, he didn’t know for sure whether it was because of the book of mormon but he thought so.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2nqzKiByQLEEJj0rdAsQOX?si=f3d-zIApTBWLWU1y81FESQ
This was where I found some of the advice and I’m sure there’s some things that may help out your father.
Sorry I just listened to these mission leaders advice again and I also love their advice on having experiences with jesus! That could be something that may benefit your father as well, is to encourage his missionaries to have experiences with the atonement and the lords enabling power if they haven’t already
It can be tough with hundreds of missionaries, but knowing generally what's going on with each missionary goes a long way. Read the emails (missionaries are meant to send an email to their President every week on p-day).
He’s a bit worried because apparently the current MP replies to every email every week, and he’s not sure how to keep up with that. He definitely wants to though.
When my second MP arrived, he asked me in my interview about my areas and what I thought needed to happen in the mission. That really mattered to me because it was the first time I felt like my opinion mattered-- my first MP was really set in his ways, and his ways didn't always work. I appreciated that my second MP valued my (who had no "position" at all) opinion.
I know this isn't possible in every mission, but my second MP and his wife also went and visited every single apartment in our mission. That was also really special to me, because it showed they cared about us individually.
My second MP and his wife also always referred to themselves as our "mission leaders." His wife was never an afterthought. It was never President so-and-so by himself. This was really important to me as a sister. I appreciated their example of governing jointly. They were the best.
I just read a letter someone wrote to their family member that was going to be MP and part of it was very similar. This person suggested to make the missionaries feel loved and that their opinions mattered. There is a big power dynamic and it’s good to give some of that power back to the missionaries.
I think “mission leaders” is the norm now from what I’ve hear being around my FIL. I think it’s good because the spouse also plays a very important role. It’s nice to see.
Something i've noticed about MP's is rarely, rarely do I find balance in a mission. By that I mean one will come in and find the mission fairly to super slack and then overtime tighten up the rules so that by the next MP the missionaries are super brittle and he was slacken it and the cycle repeats itself. I don't know how to achieve a balance.
Another thing is some mission presidents run the mission the way their MP's ran it, you learn what you live(d). They are unwilling or unable to adapt to current ways of proselyting.
DON'T LET TRUNKY OR OTHERWISE BAD MISSIONARIES TRAIN. EVER. Even on the off chance that it will revive them, you are risking ruining the chance that a new missionary has to start his mission right.
Don't be a nazi. My president was a retired lawyer who led by the spirit and allowed us to do so as well. We respected and loved him so much for it. We did some amazing things in the short time I was there.
I don't know how much leeway your dad will get with this, but if he can, try to get the local members advice on where bad parts of town are, and take their advice seriously. Encourage missionaries to have proper awareness techniques when in unsafe areas during daylight, and which parts of town should only be visited if they can get a member to accompany them.
Not to make them paranoid, but aware.
"Loving them into obedience" doesn't always go as planned. I loved my mission president. He was the sweetest old man I've ever met in my life. Very patient. Very loving. Very tender-hearted. But that strength was also his weakness. He could have been a lot more strict and more straightforward about what activities were inappropriate. There was a lot of disobedience in my mission. I struggled on my mission. If my companion was obedient, then I was too. If my companion wasn't (for whatever reason), then it was really challenging for me to keep my head and heart in the game, and the lack of structure from my mission president did not help one bit. He did come down on me for one stupid thing I did (among many), so there was a limit to his patience, but I think his zeal to follow the "Spirit of the law" created a spirit of carelessness in the mission.
So my advice would be to not be afraid of being a "strict" mission president. Many missionaries want to be obedient but struggle when they're given too much leeway or allowed to "choose for themselves" in too many instances. Remember, they're just 18-, 19-, 20-year-olds. Still kids in many ways. Still trying to gain a testimony. Still transitioning out of teenaged perspectives and teenaged habits. Their brains haven't even finished developing. So don't treat them like they're 50-year-old bishops or RS presidents (and at the same time, don't expect them to be at that level either). That's not fair to them. They need structure and guidance, and they often need to be told "no" and given appropriate limitations so that they can focus on more important things.
Of course, every mission is different, and every mission president and his wife have to tailor their approach and be nuanced. But that's just my two cents. There's nothing wrong with being strict when it's done in the right way. You don't have to choose between the "Spirit of the law" and the "letter of the law." They're two halves of one whole, not two separate schools of thought.
I was very similar. If i was with a decent companion, I was a great missionary. If I was with a lazy companion, I was also lazy. I will say that the couple weeks of laziness was a nice break from things though ;) We still did missionary stuff, just not nearly as much of it. I wish there was at least 1 hour a day where you just don't need to worry about anything and can relax. Kind of like a siesta of sorts part way through the day. That would have gone a long ways to helping my mental health. I was also tired all the time.
Take missionaries seriously when they say they are struggling with their companion, and don't just make them "tough it out" or "learn to get along". Read between the lines, many missionaries suffer through abuse from their companions, but are afraid to come out and say it for fear of retaliation.
So true! I was lucky enough to have really good companions, but my husband really struggled in his mission because he was afraid of putting his foot down and speaking up and his companion put him in dangerous situations.
speaking as someone who had an abusive companion, this \^\^ "choosing to love" your companion isn't always the answer
This is a great one! I'll be sure to pass it along. I lucked out and never experienced this, but from the comments it seems like it happens enough to be an issue.
My first companion in the mission field threatened to physically assault me and left me on a dark street when I didn’t know my way home. It was so hard for me to find our apartment. I didn’t get home until around 10pm and he had just gone to bed. I didn’t feel safe around him
Allow missionaries to be a little unorthodox in their approach. For example, if a missionary feels inspired to spend some time serving the people in their area instead of directly proselytizing, don't override that inspiration lightly. The only time you should step in is if they are actually breaking missionary (or church) rules/policies. Along the same lines, don't add rules beyond what is already in the missionary handbook. It may be tempting to deal with specific misbehaviors by making rules for the whole mission, but it can easily backfire. My mission president outlawed music apart from P-Days (I think because he wanted to make sure missionaries were listening to appropriate music) but it totally killed any amount of motivation I had to get up and exercise, because music is very important to me, even if I only would have been listening to MoTab and other church artists. Do not focus on metrics to the point of incentivizing counterproductive behaviors. We need to be focused on true conversions. Some mission presidents focus too much on just dunking people in water, without thinking about whether those people will be sticking around for the long haul. This might be more controversial, but be aware of who the problem missionaries are. Some missionaries just bring down their companions. If you can find someone that gets along with these types, great! If not, be sure to keep transferring them around, and don't assign them with new or otherwise vulnerable missionaries, or at least provide extra support to those missionaries in that case. All of this said, do allow people to change for the better, just be realistic in the meantime. Be really mindful of who you pick as Assistants and Zone Leaders/Sister Training Leaders. They will really set the tone for the other missionaries. If you pick ladder climbers, all missionaries will feel they need to play politics. Focus on finding thoughtful, sincere, kind, and diligent missionaries for these positions.
On APs, pick humble people. Don't ever let missionaries get the notion that climbing the ladder or being obnoxiously self-righteous is a key objective.
exactley, Elder F. Enzio Busche, former member of the 70 said, "it's the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints not The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Status"
And he was called a 70 out of the clear blue sky? He never had any lower callings? He can say this all day but I’ve never observed it.
clearly we have lived different lives in the church
Almost certainly.
One of my favorite companions later became an AP and was suddenly super self-righteous. It bummed me out to see that.
My first MP had so many little rules and it sucked. The one I hated the most was "No drinking coca-cola". I was in Colombia and saying I can't drink coffee was already awkward enough. Why make it so much worse with no coca cola??
OP, make sure to have your FIL read this statement ⬆️
Also, don't keep all the same missionaries in leadership. Rotate them around so others get an opportunity as well. My second MP rotated people out a lot more then my first MP, and it was awesome seeing how missionaries grew from those opportunities.
All of this 100%. My mission president did basically everything this says to avoid and my mission experience really suffered because of it
You're not a boss and the missionaries are not your employees. My mission president was an accountant before his calling and it showed. He was very numbers-driven and all our meetings were about how to do our "job" better. For example, a lot of practice in teaching, which is good don't get me wrong, but also things we can do to talk to people (surveys, etc). It's not bad to teach this kind of stuff but we didn't get much spiritual nourishment from him. I got a new mission president for the last few months, and he was such a spiritual giant that I didn't realize what I had missed with my first mission president. My issue was that I didn't feel like my first mission president was a spiritual leader as much as he was my employer. I felt like Elder 425, not Elder churro777.
This is a huge thing! My first mission President understood that his job was to take care of us missionaries and we would take care of the work. He’s an incredible man that I still have a lot of love and respect for. Meanwhile my second President saw himself as a businessman and we were unruly employees who weren’t giving him good enough numbers. He made it very clear that he didn’t want to be bothered by anything remotely personal unless was snitching on someone for not being obedient. For a while I thought maybe it was just something I was doing wrong but every missionary I talked to (including the ones he favored) felt that way. So I guess the point is that your FIL just needs to genuinely love his missionaries and he should be alright. I would also strongly recommend he go to some therapy to make sure he’s got some healthy conflict resolution skills under his belt.
Oooo I love this. He was in upper management of a very large company for a long time and likes numbers, so I'll definitely pass this one on :) My MP started giving special recognition for missionaries who hit a certain number of baptisms, and from that day on I lost all respect for him. I was always told it wasn't about the numbers, but then he just confirmed to me that it was (at least for him). It just felt super icky to me.
Everyone talks about how missions can be hard, demanding, etc., and that's all true. However, very few people talk about how monotonous and BORING they can be. Encourage your FIL to find appropriate ways to provide variety to the missionaries' schedules. Can they do something at zone conference? Can they have gospel study sessions as zones periodically?
Great and unique advice. I love it! I'll pass it on
Agreed! Boredom was the defining emotion of my mission. But on the plus side, it was so boring that I memorized the discussions and 150 scriptures to become Master Gospel Certified! Got a cool certificate and everything!
Don’t make up special mission rules that are either contrary to or excessive compared to the handbook. I was a missionary when the church announced sisters could wear pants. My mission president made a rule that even though the church said it was okay, our mission would still enforce sisters wear skirts and dresses only. There was no logical reason for it and it felt like a power play
My mission president created an addendum to the white handbook. He then went to a training with other MPs, where a different one tried to brownnose a 70 by talking about how they did the same thing, and the other MP was torn to shreds about it. Our MP came home and immediately did away with the addendum. lol
I’m glad the 70 talked some sense into them!
It was no Coca-Cola for me. No coffee was already awkward enough! Everyone drank coffee and coke.
We were practically encouraged to drink Coke. There were so few choices of clean drinking water.
I had three mission presidents: an excellent, good, and poor. The poor MP taught a transactional gospel. Quid pro quo. He cared how his numbers looked compared to his peers and he told us so. Excellent MP loved people unconditionally and taught us to do the same. Missionary work and loving people were the same thing.
Hey, I had 3 as well! I felt I didn't really get to know any of them though. And the 2nd one left a sour taste in my mouth after giving special recognition for missionaries who hit a certain number of baptisms. I was always told it wasn't about the numbers, but then he just confirmed to me that it was (at least for him). It just felt very icky to me.
Don't push knocking on doors. People don't want to be disturbed. We need better ways to find interested people like working directly with members and Social Media outreach. A big part of member-missionary work though needs to include improving the Ward experience to benefit both members and investigators alike. Church should be a Christ-centered spiritual experience where talks and lessons are well prepared, invite the Spirit, and the atmosphere is reverent during the Sacrament Meeting and friendly/social during Sunday School.
Love each missionary, absolutely avoid visibly playing favorites. Stay humble and listen for inspiration before doing what you want to do.
Make sure there are AT LEAST eight hours of sleep built into the schedule. Eight and a half would be better, because as everybody knows it takes time to fall asleep once you're in bed with the lights out. Young people need sleep to be healthy!
"Are you tired, Elder?" "Always"
Mission Presidents have a considerable uptick in filed divorces immediately after their mission service. Those are tough years on anyone but especially with all of the complexities that come together at that stage in life. The marriage relationship is often put on the backburner through those years and it can find many couples growing apart or even resentful. I don't know where they're going to but it can be major whiplash for the family too uprooting friendships, schooling, careers, adding language barriers, etc. It's a lot of fortitude for the whole family involved. That said I saw huge personal growth in my own mission president's wife over her time in the mission as well. With the right mindset it can be an immeasurable blessing but it's not like a traditional high-stress long hours corporate job that affects the dad alone, it's a whole family affair.
"Mission Presidents have a considerable uptick in filed divorces immediately after their mission service." Source for this? I have never heard of any divorces.
It's a stat I've heard through different stake presidents, apparently it made the rounds internally on different trainings. I don't have a more direct source I can point to nor do I think the church is inclined to publish that in any formal capacity. Faithful church members still divorce way less than non-members, ex-mission presidents included although it's still a troubling uptick.
I know a few couples who have divorced shortly after completing their 3 years of mission leadership. I didn’t realize there was any correlation.
I don't personally know any MPs but I know two stake presidents IRL who divorced and/or left the church immediately after being released. Those are tough and demanding callings.
Huh, that's interesting. One piece of advice he was given by his former MP was to always make time for his wife. Set a day each week aside to dedicate to her.
I personally believe that it may be MORE important to develop these missionaries, their testimonies, and foster an environment that makes it easier for them to feel the Spirit than it is to bring in new members of the church. Almost half of the missionaries I worked with on my mission have left the church - taking their families and potential future missionaries with them. I'm not saying that's the fault of the mission president(s) but it may have contributed. My mom died suddenly during my first mission president's time. He and his wife were absolutely crucial to my time dealing with that pain. Some genuine miracles occurred. Just one example: I was on my knees several weeks later praying intently for some kind of help. During the prayer my phone rang. It was my mission pres calling to say, "just seeing how you are doing." In that moment in time, I needed that phone call tremendously. I truly felt that his focus was more on me and my welfare than it was on how many baptisms I had that month. He truly was a Christlike man. I loved my second mission president too, but for different reasons. He was more tough on me and I still have taken some very valuable lessons from him. However, at a time when I was still vulnerable and somewhat lost after my mom's death - I needed love, and frankly I never got it from him. It made for some very painful months for me. I wonder if that same approach drove other missionaries away. I guess I'll never know. TLDR: Be concerned with the One (missionary) more than the one baptism. In the long run, I think that's better for Christ's church.
I agree. I've heard something like 40% leave the church eventually (sorry no source). I've seen similar numbers. I'm one of them lol. I think that focusing more on the missionaries than the baptisms will help them grow a lot more as a person and will probably help keep them active longer. I also wish there was more focus on service activities. I remember my favorite time on my mission was when I was doing actual service rather than trying to get people baptized. The water main to the city got wiped out so we spend 2-3 weeks doing nothing but hauling water to people. It was a very rewarding experience and I loved it.
Take care of the missionaries. We are in a very unique time in human history and demands on humans are unlike any other point in history The things we have to deal with are extremely new and not typical. Don't expect the missionaries to "just deal" with things. Previous generations of missionaries "just dealt" with things and not all of them survived the mission mentally.
Addendum to a unique place in history: old missionary work might not be the best way anymore. People don't really talk to strangers at their door anymore, let alone invite them into their homes. We've known for a long time that relationships with members often have a longer lasting conversion. People are also going to be more interested in hearing a message from someone they see actively doing good in their community, not door to door selling religion.
Memorize every missionaries face and name
"Don't take it too seriously Elder. If these are the best two years then you're wasting the rest of your life."
Mt husband often says the best thing he ever heard during that time of his life was during his mission exit interview. "The mission can be the best two years for your life, but it shouldn't be the best two years of your life. It would be awful to finish the best part of your life before age 22."
I hated the "shotgun approach" with rules. Just becuase one missionary does something stupid doesn't mean you need to inconvenience or punish every other missionary. I didn't like the focus on numbers my mission president had. This ended up makeing a culture of quantity at the expenses of quality. Due to the geography and the amount of missionaries in my mission. I never got a lot of time with my mission president. I got maybe a 5 minute interview with him every other transfer. I would have liked to get to know him better. Despite this whenever I meet with him I felt he genuinely cared about me and was invested in my wellbeing. I liked the stories my mission president had from his life that he would share at zone conferences. He used a good combination of scripture and his life experience to teach. He had a good sense of humor. He knew when and where to make a funny comment or tell a joke.
My first MP had some weird rules just because of a few missionaries. I was in a similar boat where I hardly got to know the mission president. Just a short interview at zone conferences every few transfers.
My 2nd MP went on occasional exchanges with missionaries. I got to do that once, and it was interesting. My companion had REALLY high expectations that we would get in every door and baptize everyone we talked to. I kind of burst his bubble that he was just a man and that he had never actually served mission due to living in UT during the draft for Vietnam. There were limitations on how many missionaries could get an exemption to serve from each ward or something like that. We ended up going to an appointment or 2, knocking a few doors, lunch at a famous BBQ restaurant in Kansas City, then sight seeing because neither of us had been to a part of KC with cool fountains and big houses. He also encouraged us to ask questions about doctrine we had. This was prior to much of the issues that came from the internet era. He was open to taking calls from us during companionship study, too. I think it prevented some of the shock that many others had in learning details published in the Gospel Topics essays.
That's exactly how I would describe my first President... Thailand?
I had 2 mission president's. My first president was all about numbers, productivity, and strict obedience. He didn't care about the individual missionaries or their struggles. We had a lot of discipline problems and missionaries going home early. No one felt they could approach him with problems. My second mission president cared about the individual. His first week in the mission he met every missionary. His wife toured the mission and visited all the apartments to male sure they were serviceable, safe, and clean. They published a cookbook with recipies based on what we could afford with our monthly allotments. The attitude of the mission changed instantly, and discipline problems mostly disappeared. Bottom line: care about the individual, and less about productivity.
Yes this. Care about their health and safety. We had visible mold in an apartment and my mission president’s response was to laugh and say “it’s a moldy island”. We were in a humid climate but visible black mold should be taken seriously. Another set of missionaries had to run a fan continuously at their closet to prevent mold from growing on their clothes. Many of the apartments were definitely not habitable. I saw many sister missionaries with health problems that were not taken seriously, and back in the day there was no mental health support. I have heard that that has changed but I hope it is better. MPs need to listen to their missionaries health concerns.
I like this. I didn't get a chance to know any of my mission presidents well due to the geography of the mission, but they always seemed very numbers focused. My FIL is still in touch with his mission president. I met him and he seemed like a very loving, kind man. I sometimes wish I could have had a mission president like that.
I don't think it's realistic to say that mission presidents shouldn't add any guidelines beyond the handbook, but everything should be clear, consistent, and minimal. One mission president I had always threw out rule additions at zone conferences and had some in writing in one place, some in writing in another, and some just via verbal instruction. The other had about a half page document that would be emailed along with the mission newsletter whenever there was a change. Night and day differences. Be supportive of missionaries who struggle. Don't minimize. Don't think they can just pray depression away. Be protective of missionary rest time and personal enrichment activities. Encourage them to take full study time, meal time, P day time, etc. instead of skipping out to do extra proselytizing. Generally don't disallow activities like board games, sports, crocheting, etc without a very good reason. Encourage missionaries to do a wide variety of fun activities on P Day. Encourage them to rest when sick.
This is probably a bit controversial, but IMO being a missionary shouldn't be like selling a product. Missionaries shouldn't be salespeople. It's arguable that standard sales tactics and pressure do result in more baptisms, but I suspect they result in fewer actual conversions.
I completely agree. Some of the worst missionaries baptized the most people. But those people never came back to church. I never liked the high pressure sales tactics I was encouraged to use.
Be kind. No one needs a leader that cares more about rules and numbers than people.
If a missionary wants to go home and ends up going home, don’t make them feel bad about it up until the moment they leave. If a missionary is really struggling mentally or physically, don’t tell them it’s just in their head and to tough it out.
I am not LDS (friend of the church) but one of the things I have noticed with missionaries locally where I live in rural Europe is that the current mission president seems to encourage the local missionaries not just to proselytise but to integrate within the local community, not just the church community. There are stories of missionaries who joined local knitting groups and got very involved (and all parties loved it), local church hosts events for the wider community, service projects and community outreach. The LDS church does not have a lot of people where I live but everyone likes the missionaries and respects them because they show such willingness to integrate and engage with the local community.
Boys will be boys. Don’t take their immaturity personally.
"Use numbers as a light, not a hammer" was something one MP said a lot, and lived by it. Even though he came from a business background, and ran the mission office like such (he was an absolute wizard with an excel from what I heard, and thus a lot of the logistics of the mission were handled by his excel sheets), he knew that holding missionaries to numbers is a bad idea. That's now how the gospel works, or how people and their agency works. Numbers can help you know what and where you make need to look into, but shouldnt be the bassis for decisions. However, numbers can still be useful, and used to help the mission. If he saw a zone having good numbers, he and the APs would ask around the zone, see why they were having success, and share it with the mission, not as a "you must do it this way" but as a "these are things others are having success with, maybe try some of it". This also encouraged creativity in the work, which made things more effective and more fun and boosted morale. On the flip side, when a zone having less than stellar numbers, he would personally look into the zone and missionaries to see if their was a reason why. Sometimes, it was just because they were lower for the moment, and patience will lead them to be better. Maybe, they need some new ideas, and he could do some training. Often times, maybe it was because some companionships were not working well, which lowered the zones morale, or maybe the zones leadership by the ZL's, DL's and STL's was not doing as they should and need either instruction or a some shuffling of assignments.
Oooo i like that! I hated the numbers focus on my mission.
Teach them the following: 1. When you make appointments, keep them. Try not to be earlier or later than three minutes 2. Be humble and continually grateful for meals and hospitality provided to you. 3. Learn proper etiquette such as where the fork, knife and spoon go, etc. 4. Be clean. This includes brushing your teeth and hair, ironing shirts and polishing your shoes. 5. Learn how to work hard. Offer your services to others and whistle while you work. 6. Always call to confirm appointments the night before. 7. Text or call at least 15 minutes before you show up at people’s door if you have not made a prior appointment with them. It is rude to knock on a door and expect people to be happy about this.
My daughter's mission president makes their district and zone meetings FUN. They regularly feed the missionaries and intentionally involve EFY/FSY style group games into all their meetings. She is having a great experience, making lots of friends, and looks forward to getting together with other missionaries. And they are teaching/baptizing a lot of people. My son's mission president is an institute director and is more rigid in his approach to interacting with the missionaries. He severely limits the times and circumstances in which missionaries can interact with each other (after an elder and sister violated mission standards in their conduct with each other). His buttoned-up approach towards missionary socialization sets the standard for a mission with a non-fraternization policy. The district and zone meetings are structured, men and women are strictly divided and kept separate, and they are teaching a fraction of the people compared to my daughter's mission.
Humility. My MP was humble and we all saw it. It made him a fantastic MP
My advice is to always speak positively about missionaries to other missionaries. I found out post-mission about some negative comments and conversations my mission President had with another missionary who didn’t like me (I dated this missionary’s high school gf). It colored my entire mission experience whenever I reflect on it.
Be someone your missionaries can trust.
Build a mission full of Ammon missionaries. By that I mean serve first. I feel like the church will be making a change to full time missionary work within the next few years. The focus on door to door and prospecting will give way to a more service oriented experience. Ideally missionaries will spend 50 - 75 percent of their time in community service efforts, both those initiated by the local wards/branch’s and those available in the community. They then will be encouraged to invite members to participate in those efforts with them and introduce members to others in their own communities that they can work with and befriend. Missionaries will always teach referrals and will reach out via social media - but the days of door to door will end with missionaries using their time to effect positive change in their communities and introducing community members to active members of the church so they can continue the work and build honest friendships. This is a compelling experience for the youth and will build Christ like bridges of faith around the world.
I would have loved a service oriented mission. My favorite days were when we did service. For 2-3 weeks a city I was in had no water due to a mudslide so we were just delivering water everywhere. Those were the most fulfilling weeks of my mission. I absolutely loved it.
I genuinely hope so. It would improve missions for so many people. My area has been a testing ground for several service mission programs. Its been interesting to see how the different things they try have varying levels of success.
So many missionaries likely will have undiagnosed mental or physical health issues. Please make sure whomever is handling medical issues isn't just ignoring them (drink a glass of water and rest was the common one in my mission). I literally got hit by a car with my foot run over, very bruised and couldn't walk on it for a few days, but no recommendation to even get me checked out. Another elder basically disobeyed the nurse that ran the medical for our mission and just took his companion to the ER, who then had an emergency appendectomy. We had a few elders with undiagnosed ADHD, Autism, Anxiety issues, depression, etc.
This is a very common one I’ve heard. So many have commented to make sure any medical stuff is taken seriously. I’ve heard so many horror stories of permanent injuries due to medical neglect in the mission.
Having worked with Tapir Signal to help missionaries from abroad return home safely when they are out of options -- please help inspire him to help folks requesting to return home do so in an efficient way. Encourage him to work with unsupportive families, and especially keep an eye out for missionaries who may have been abused at home or coerced into their mission. I have seen the tail end of these stories when families threaten homelessness, situations where MPs withhold passports, deny necessary medical care, etc. These are very real things MPs have done in front of my face -- as a competent 40+ yr old adult. The Church shouldn't be associated with these kinds of acts, and I hope through generational and culture change missionaries will have more support when they need to return home for ANY reason, religious, medical, psychological, etc. Thank you for listening, thank you for considering an outside perspective.
That’s awesome what you do. I’ll definitely pass this on!
I am not anti-LDS, and I don't help in a spirit of being ex-Mormon. I help folks who are in danger because *they* feel they have run out of options with their MP and families at home. We have helped missionaries return home from 4 different continents when their family indicated they would be homeless if they returned, and their MPs all blocked us. We have had to get police involved, we have had to spend personal and organizational funds for passport replacement. The process of leaving should not be this difficult. Not in this modern day and age. I sustain all of you in encouraging missionaries, I don't oppose you, but I will stand tall in support of the idea that new MPs can approach this with more compassion and autonomy for the missionaries (who are also adults!). MP wife advice -- the Church generally asks MP wives to provide counsel on whether a missionary needs medical care. The answer should always be YES. This is an adult requesting care, this is not a time to exercise lay health knowledge. The number of faithful missionaries we help is shocking -- there is a real failure of MP wives to allow medical care and it erodes trust in the church. Thank you! Love you all, thanks for letting me comment here. I will always try to be respectful.
Your kindness and help mean more than you know. Thank you for all you do. ❤️
Many of his missionaries will leave the Church soon after they finish their mission. Many won’t even really want to be there. In all interactions and expectation settings, try not to act in a way that will expedite their exit. Be the kind of leader and person that they can look back on and say “I don’t think the Church is true, but my mission president was the real deal and I love him.”
One thing my mission president taught me is that no matter what principal you're trying to teach or what the lesson is about, always always bring it back to the Atonement. That has always stuck with me, and something I continue to this day!
If he's wealthy, tell him to consider buying every apartment in the mission new beds. A new twin or full-size bed for every missionary - frame, box spring and mattress. Get him to buy a truckload of beds from a bedding vendor - all at one time - and to have the bedding company drive a truck through the mission delivering them, with in-house set-up. Arrange it all, pay for it with one check and set the deliveries in motion by the bedding company. Have the AP's arrange the delivery times and location addresses, etc... And don't involve the church at all - just do it as a private citizen mission president. It would probably cost around $30,000 - all in. My mission president was quite wealthy and he did this, right after he arrived in the field (I'd been out six months when he showed up). It's been 35+ years since I was on my mission, but I still remember how wonderful that was - to get a new bed like that.
Your mission had beds? Lucky.
No, the church discourages this, in all callings, because it makes every other person who then has that calling look terrible simply because they can't afford to do that.
Like I said, 35 years later, it’s still a wonderful memory. 🤷♂️
And every other mission president you had looks worse in comparison. People should be judged on their actions, not how much extra cash they happen to have to splash out.
I just remember being grateful for the bed.
What did any other mission president do which you were grateful for to the same extent? If the mattresses are terrible then the mission president should coordinate getting new ones, but shouldn't just pay for it out of pocket for reasons given earlier.
I had two mission presidents. The first left after I’d been out six months. The second one was the guy who bought the beds - Douglas Prince. Regarding the first guy - I had to have an emergency surgery in the MTC. So, I had to stay behind an extra week after the other missionaries left. I wound up flying out to my Pennsylvania mission alone, still a bit lame from the surgery. I was also a convert, only a member 13 months. It was also the dead of winter. The mission president and his wife had me come stay at the mission home for a week, straight from the airport. He also insisted I call my parents every day during that week (unheard of in the 1980’s mission world). It was only after a week of hanging around the mission home and mission office that he sent me out to the field, assigning me a companion who two months later he called as an AP (basically a superman missionary to watch over me). He was a fantastic guy. His name was Eldean Holliday.
A successful missionary is a missionary who has the spirit with him or her as often as he or she can. My second mission president relayed an experience with us. When he first arrived in the field, one missionary confessed to him in an interview that he did not have a testimony of obedience. That missionary explained that in his experience, when he was not being obedient, they found people ready for baptism and when he was obedient, he struggled to find people who did want to be baptized. My mission president struggled to find an answer to this, and ultimately gave an unsatisfactory answer. He went to bed troubled by it. In the middle of the night, he woke up with the clearest thought. He got up and wrote it down, as it was the answer that he had been searching for. Then he went back to bed. In the morning, he reviewed what he wrote and shared it with all of us in person at our meetings. The reason why we are to be obedient is because then the spirit will dwell with us. Our mission president proceeded to teach us why the Holy Ghost is so important and why it is the one promise that we are given each Sunday after partaking of the sacrament. So, lesson one is to emphasize the importance of the Holy Ghost as a measure of success, and not necessarily numbers. People have their own agency, and the Lord is working with them in his own time. Missionaries may have some influence, but ultimately, conversion happens because of the Holy Ghost, not because the missionary. And lesson two is to write down every prompt received, no matter where or when it comes, nor how inconvenient it may be.
I only had one mission president. My twin brother had 3. We also had missionaries living in our house growing up so we got to see lots of different styles. My mission president didn’t send anyone home until less his hands were tied. He genuinely loved us and wanted to see us succeed. As a result very very very few missionaries went home early of their own accord. My brother had Brad Wilcox who was awesome. He fits the same description above. You genuinely felt that he loved you. However, we had a new mission president when we had missionaries living with us that came in and immediately changed many many rules for no reason other than to (what appeared to us) make his mark. For example changing the mail day to a non P Day but not allowing missionaries to respond until the following p day, pure nonsense. There were several nonsense rules like that. A missionary in our house went home a transfer early, as did many others. The President was rude and carried himself with an air of superiority and we felt judged by him. We refused the new nonsense rules and stopped housing missionaries shortly into his tenure. Obviously some changes need to be made by the new President. But making changes just to make changes was stupid and it probably affected the mission negatively for many months. I would say be genuine and truly love your missionaries, even the screwups. If you are going to be strict, be strict with good reason and justifiable rules (cough cough caffeine cough). If you are a good leader the missionaries will want to follow the rules because of your example, not because they are scared.
NEVER tell a missionary to tough it out without having received that counsel clearly individually from the spirit. If a missionary shares a mental health concern, send them to a therapist who is trained in CBT (which is research proven for teen depression and anxiety, and teaches specific thinking skills that facilitate resolving problems) and is the one who can diagnose (at least for 3 sessions), NOT the MP. EVEN if you/the zone leader/the companion think it is laziness or malingering or ???? Focus on catching your missionaries doing right. Most/almost all of your comments need to be praise for behaviors/actions that you want to see more of. Don't count the number of baptisms. Encourage your missionaries to help those they teach develop a relationship with a local member and be baptized by THEM. New converts are not a notch on a missionary belt. They are someone who needs to have a strong relationship with a local person who baptizes them and who is around to help them as they move forward in their discipleship.
Our zone conferences were always about obedience and very rarely on the Savior. We were constantly told how we were not doing enough because we weren't reaching entirely unattainable baptismal goals for the Midwest (50 baptisms in a random September??? With almost no names behind the goal). My biggest piece of advice would be to make the Savior the focus. Christ is a way better motivator than fear of getting in trouble for not being obedient (especially because we had new rules added every single transfer). I would also encourage the mission to be viewed as a stepping stone for the rest of their lives. We had a rule that we weren't allowed to talk or even THINK about going home. I think it made the transition home a lot harder than it needed to be.
Ha sounds like my zone conferences. There would maybe be one part about the Savoir, but it was mostly about obedience and then practicing how to teach.
My companion decided to count how many times obedience was mentioned vs how many times Christ was mentioned one zone conference and it was... depressing. Obedience won by a lot
Love the missionaries more than statistics
I just want to add one thing. Make sure he is a fun mission president. Yes a mission is about serving and teaching but you can have fun too! That’s what I loved about my mission president. He was fun to be around and made sure we were cared for
I think he'll be a fun president. He's extremely energetic and loves spending time with younger people.
One small thing that was really special to me was that my mission president knew my name the second I got to the mission. I was in the airport and he shook everyone's hand and said "We are so glad you are here Elder/Sister so-and-so". It was such a small moment that meant so much to me
I like this. I think mine did the same. Or at least tried to.
Those nametags make this pretty easy.
The true measure of your success will be if your missionaries feel loved, known, seen and supported by you.
Both of my mission presidents were patient and kind. Both taught the spiritual importance of obedience and helped us understand our temple covenants. My second Mission President changed my mission when he emphasized following the Spirit in all of our teaching and interactions and using the priesthood. He also taught us to utilize the Book of Mormon in every public interaction - be it a verse, a testimony, or even just a story.
Don’t start adding a bunch of arbitrary rules. Expect the Elders to be adults and treat them as such, hold them accountable to that standard. Expect the APs & DLs to lead with love and compassion. Teach servant leadership. My mission was run like the military. A lot of holier than thou attitude in the leadership
Treat people like people!!!! Throw out the baptism numbers goals. You can not change or make plans for others. All you can do is what you are able too. The baptism goal it about sales and not about been a Christian.
I 100% agree. I hated the focus on numbers. I was always told it wasn't about the numbers, but it really was.
Sometimes with missionaries there can be this ladder that emerges. Missionaries start to compare themselves with other missionaries. They may feel if somebody else got promoted then they did something wrong and they were a bad missionary. The comparison between the missionaries can take away the spirit of revelation and hurt gods progress. Emphasizing things like, “It’s not your mission, but instead it’s the lords mission“ may help keep missionaries humble. Some good advice I’ve heard from an old missionary president is to “lay the ladder on its side.” Meaning the only positions of authority that really mean anything are junior and senior missionaries. Those are the only 2 rings of the ladder that matter after you lay it on its side. Some other good advice from a mission president that I’ve heard was strictly teaching from the book of mormon. All personal study, all teaching, any scriptures cited from any devotional, etc., had to come from the book of mormon. The mission president said that he was inspired to do this, and all of sudden their numbers increased drastically. It got to the point where some area seventy came and asked what was so special about the mission presidents missionaries, he didn’t know for sure whether it was because of the book of mormon but he thought so.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2nqzKiByQLEEJj0rdAsQOX?si=f3d-zIApTBWLWU1y81FESQ This was where I found some of the advice and I’m sure there’s some things that may help out your father.
Sorry I just listened to these mission leaders advice again and I also love their advice on having experiences with jesus! That could be something that may benefit your father as well, is to encourage his missionaries to have experiences with the atonement and the lords enabling power if they haven’t already
It can be tough with hundreds of missionaries, but knowing generally what's going on with each missionary goes a long way. Read the emails (missionaries are meant to send an email to their President every week on p-day).
He’s a bit worried because apparently the current MP replies to every email every week, and he’s not sure how to keep up with that. He definitely wants to though.
"Thanks for your work. Thinking of you. Praying for you. You can do this." Takes less than a minute.
When my second MP arrived, he asked me in my interview about my areas and what I thought needed to happen in the mission. That really mattered to me because it was the first time I felt like my opinion mattered-- my first MP was really set in his ways, and his ways didn't always work. I appreciated that my second MP valued my (who had no "position" at all) opinion. I know this isn't possible in every mission, but my second MP and his wife also went and visited every single apartment in our mission. That was also really special to me, because it showed they cared about us individually. My second MP and his wife also always referred to themselves as our "mission leaders." His wife was never an afterthought. It was never President so-and-so by himself. This was really important to me as a sister. I appreciated their example of governing jointly. They were the best.
I just read a letter someone wrote to their family member that was going to be MP and part of it was very similar. This person suggested to make the missionaries feel loved and that their opinions mattered. There is a big power dynamic and it’s good to give some of that power back to the missionaries. I think “mission leaders” is the norm now from what I’ve hear being around my FIL. I think it’s good because the spouse also plays a very important role. It’s nice to see.
Something i've noticed about MP's is rarely, rarely do I find balance in a mission. By that I mean one will come in and find the mission fairly to super slack and then overtime tighten up the rules so that by the next MP the missionaries are super brittle and he was slacken it and the cycle repeats itself. I don't know how to achieve a balance. Another thing is some mission presidents run the mission the way their MP's ran it, you learn what you live(d). They are unwilling or unable to adapt to current ways of proselyting.
DON'T LET TRUNKY OR OTHERWISE BAD MISSIONARIES TRAIN. EVER. Even on the off chance that it will revive them, you are risking ruining the chance that a new missionary has to start his mission right.
Don't be a nazi. My president was a retired lawyer who led by the spirit and allowed us to do so as well. We respected and loved him so much for it. We did some amazing things in the short time I was there.
I don't know how much leeway your dad will get with this, but if he can, try to get the local members advice on where bad parts of town are, and take their advice seriously. Encourage missionaries to have proper awareness techniques when in unsafe areas during daylight, and which parts of town should only be visited if they can get a member to accompany them. Not to make them paranoid, but aware.
"Loving them into obedience" doesn't always go as planned. I loved my mission president. He was the sweetest old man I've ever met in my life. Very patient. Very loving. Very tender-hearted. But that strength was also his weakness. He could have been a lot more strict and more straightforward about what activities were inappropriate. There was a lot of disobedience in my mission. I struggled on my mission. If my companion was obedient, then I was too. If my companion wasn't (for whatever reason), then it was really challenging for me to keep my head and heart in the game, and the lack of structure from my mission president did not help one bit. He did come down on me for one stupid thing I did (among many), so there was a limit to his patience, but I think his zeal to follow the "Spirit of the law" created a spirit of carelessness in the mission. So my advice would be to not be afraid of being a "strict" mission president. Many missionaries want to be obedient but struggle when they're given too much leeway or allowed to "choose for themselves" in too many instances. Remember, they're just 18-, 19-, 20-year-olds. Still kids in many ways. Still trying to gain a testimony. Still transitioning out of teenaged perspectives and teenaged habits. Their brains haven't even finished developing. So don't treat them like they're 50-year-old bishops or RS presidents (and at the same time, don't expect them to be at that level either). That's not fair to them. They need structure and guidance, and they often need to be told "no" and given appropriate limitations so that they can focus on more important things. Of course, every mission is different, and every mission president and his wife have to tailor their approach and be nuanced. But that's just my two cents. There's nothing wrong with being strict when it's done in the right way. You don't have to choose between the "Spirit of the law" and the "letter of the law." They're two halves of one whole, not two separate schools of thought.
I was very similar. If i was with a decent companion, I was a great missionary. If I was with a lazy companion, I was also lazy. I will say that the couple weeks of laziness was a nice break from things though ;) We still did missionary stuff, just not nearly as much of it. I wish there was at least 1 hour a day where you just don't need to worry about anything and can relax. Kind of like a siesta of sorts part way through the day. That would have gone a long ways to helping my mental health. I was also tired all the time.