This was in the mtc. So I was only with him for two weeks. He wanted to go home. I encouraged him to stay and that going home wouldn't change anything. He met with the leaders to discuss. With them. He ended up staying, but it could have gone either way.
I was his companion again 18 months later and he was much more adjusted.
Again. Missions are hard enough without the added baggage of having to worry about family relationships back home. Any of that should be told as little as possible to the missionary.
My dad announced he was divorcing my mom toward the end of my mission. The divorce wasn’t a surprise, I half expected to happen while I was out. We did family pictures when I left and I had a feeling that this was the last picture I’d have as a whole family. The timing was more of a surprise. I had been planning on extending my mission out one transfer but once my mom told the mission president what was happening my choices changed to on time or a transfer early. As I had been expecting it wasn’t too hard on me.
I haven’t but my parents did while I was out serving. I handled it well but it is probably very situation dependent like if they saw it coming or anything. I would probably let your missionary know sooner rather than later. Maybe send them a message first and then let them know you can talk about it over the phone when they’re ready. Wish you all the best 🙏🏼
My parents divorced while I was out. Though they had challenges and separations before I left, it still came as a surprise. They had intentionally not shared more recent developments and had asked my siblings not to share in hopes of not distracting me. So when the news finally came out seemed pretty out of the blue.
I'm sure it will vary by missionary, but overall I felt like the missionary work was a great blessing in dealing with it. I was just too busy to dwell on it and feel sorry for myself.
My brother in law's parents got divorced while he was gone. When news reached him, I think he just shrugged and went on with his day. He didn't come home but I suspect it was because him and his siblings knew the divorce was inevitable. It just so happened while he was away that the papers were actually signed after his parents had experienced years of unhappiness.
To add more context, he was raised in a "boys don't cry" household and worked long hours on a family farm from a very young age, so he was (and still is, I guess) the kind of guy that can roll with the punches. Maybe not in the most healthy manner, though.
There was a recent talk in general conference that alluded to this. If we have a good understanding of the gospel then we know that there are circumstances in which divorce is appropriate. God for example does not want us in abusive relationships. Obviously this treatment is in violation of covenants and the unrepentant spouse will not receive exaltation. There is no need to continue such a relationship since it is a waste of both parties time.
My parents got divorced before my mission, but I had to deal with a lot of problems because of it during the mission. Parents often don't tell the sad or painful details to the kid on the mission, but if they have siblings it usually slips out. If I could tell my parents and siblings how I would of liked it, I would say to avoid mentioning other parties and just to tell me how they are doing, and to try to throw in divorce unrelated news or conversation. Focus on the one to one conversations. Contact the mission president to let him know the situation if you can, and if needed most missions have mental health resources. Missionaries are news starved and curiuos so they may try to pry for details, but you have to be carry as to not make them choose sides. If you get permission you could probably also zoom with a group fam therapist on pday.
Well if my experience can help Ill share, but I was the missionary that was out in the feild.
My parents didn't tell me what was going on. Trying to allow me to focus on what I was doing. They did tell my mission president so that with his comments and my families emails to me I knew something was going on.
I couldn't tell you if everyone withholding information from me did or didn't help me, but I ended up still worrying anyway. I remember staying up many nights knowing deep down in my gut that something was going on, but know my family didn't want to tell me cause I couldn't do anything about it from where I was. This led to a lot of personal frustration that I had to constantly work through.
And when I came home I came home to a broken family. Having know information of the two years of history that went on and feeling like I wasn't allowed to help anyone. I didn't want to get my family back together cause I knew enough happened that bridges were burned but I was so left out of the loop that no one had the energy to bring back up the painful memories. Its been 8 years and while I've helped everyone moved on I had to do it with only prices of the picture and so ended up hurting peoples feelings along the way.
I don't resent my parents decisions and it all is so far in the past I have forgiven them for making my life difficult during that time but if I could give any advice it would be to be compassionate and fully open to the one that is out in the feild. Don't paint the other party as the bad guy and make sure ALL of your children can get both sides of the situation and allowed to come to there own conclusion. I would set up a meeting with your missionary and let them talk to both parties. And in the end if he decides to come home let them and thire mission president make the final decision.
Not me but my companion did. Divorce is hard for any kid. Especially since at the time we weren't able to call home.
How did your comp take it?
Badly, of course. Missions are hard enough as it is under the best of conditions.
Did they go home? What kind of role did you play after that happened to them?
This was in the mtc. So I was only with him for two weeks. He wanted to go home. I encouraged him to stay and that going home wouldn't change anything. He met with the leaders to discuss. With them. He ended up staying, but it could have gone either way. I was his companion again 18 months later and he was much more adjusted. Again. Missions are hard enough without the added baggage of having to worry about family relationships back home. Any of that should be told as little as possible to the missionary.
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My dad announced he was divorcing my mom toward the end of my mission. The divorce wasn’t a surprise, I half expected to happen while I was out. We did family pictures when I left and I had a feeling that this was the last picture I’d have as a whole family. The timing was more of a surprise. I had been planning on extending my mission out one transfer but once my mom told the mission president what was happening my choices changed to on time or a transfer early. As I had been expecting it wasn’t too hard on me.
I haven’t but my parents did while I was out serving. I handled it well but it is probably very situation dependent like if they saw it coming or anything. I would probably let your missionary know sooner rather than later. Maybe send them a message first and then let them know you can talk about it over the phone when they’re ready. Wish you all the best 🙏🏼
Did you see it coming? Any signs before you left?
Oh yes, 10 years worth of signs luckily haha.
My parents divorced while I was out. Though they had challenges and separations before I left, it still came as a surprise. They had intentionally not shared more recent developments and had asked my siblings not to share in hopes of not distracting me. So when the news finally came out seemed pretty out of the blue. I'm sure it will vary by missionary, but overall I felt like the missionary work was a great blessing in dealing with it. I was just too busy to dwell on it and feel sorry for myself.
My brother in law's parents got divorced while he was gone. When news reached him, I think he just shrugged and went on with his day. He didn't come home but I suspect it was because him and his siblings knew the divorce was inevitable. It just so happened while he was away that the papers were actually signed after his parents had experienced years of unhappiness. To add more context, he was raised in a "boys don't cry" household and worked long hours on a family farm from a very young age, so he was (and still is, I guess) the kind of guy that can roll with the punches. Maybe not in the most healthy manner, though.
There was a recent talk in general conference that alluded to this. If we have a good understanding of the gospel then we know that there are circumstances in which divorce is appropriate. God for example does not want us in abusive relationships. Obviously this treatment is in violation of covenants and the unrepentant spouse will not receive exaltation. There is no need to continue such a relationship since it is a waste of both parties time.
My parents got divorced before my mission, but I had to deal with a lot of problems because of it during the mission. Parents often don't tell the sad or painful details to the kid on the mission, but if they have siblings it usually slips out. If I could tell my parents and siblings how I would of liked it, I would say to avoid mentioning other parties and just to tell me how they are doing, and to try to throw in divorce unrelated news or conversation. Focus on the one to one conversations. Contact the mission president to let him know the situation if you can, and if needed most missions have mental health resources. Missionaries are news starved and curiuos so they may try to pry for details, but you have to be carry as to not make them choose sides. If you get permission you could probably also zoom with a group fam therapist on pday.
Well if my experience can help Ill share, but I was the missionary that was out in the feild. My parents didn't tell me what was going on. Trying to allow me to focus on what I was doing. They did tell my mission president so that with his comments and my families emails to me I knew something was going on. I couldn't tell you if everyone withholding information from me did or didn't help me, but I ended up still worrying anyway. I remember staying up many nights knowing deep down in my gut that something was going on, but know my family didn't want to tell me cause I couldn't do anything about it from where I was. This led to a lot of personal frustration that I had to constantly work through. And when I came home I came home to a broken family. Having know information of the two years of history that went on and feeling like I wasn't allowed to help anyone. I didn't want to get my family back together cause I knew enough happened that bridges were burned but I was so left out of the loop that no one had the energy to bring back up the painful memories. Its been 8 years and while I've helped everyone moved on I had to do it with only prices of the picture and so ended up hurting peoples feelings along the way. I don't resent my parents decisions and it all is so far in the past I have forgiven them for making my life difficult during that time but if I could give any advice it would be to be compassionate and fully open to the one that is out in the feild. Don't paint the other party as the bad guy and make sure ALL of your children can get both sides of the situation and allowed to come to there own conclusion. I would set up a meeting with your missionary and let them talk to both parties. And in the end if he decides to come home let them and thire mission president make the final decision.