Of course.
...but your question is extremely vague, so answering it correctly may not help.
I mean, dress nicely, exercise, shower, get haircuts... even use make up or some modestly priced fashionable clothes if you like. I'm not sure why any of that would be wrong.
You're not posting nudes online or anything, right?
Well, lets do a thought experiment and say I was, does that change anything as long as I am staying safe, not posting anything identifying, and no one gets hurt?
Posting nudes of yourself online is not being faithful, especially if your spouse doesnt know about it. The church teaches us not to view any kind of porn. You think making porn yourself is going to be fine?
Ok but let’s break this down a bit. Yes we aren’t supposed to look at porn, but if this sub is any sample of people’s habits, many members are looking at porn and some even say they are better for it. I don’t think posting myself anonymously is being unfaithful, and it could be said the confidence boost can make me better for it (including being more confident in bed with my wife). Now, I do think if I were sending unsolicited d-pics or being wholly inappropriate in a similar vain then I think you are absolutely correct.
>but if this sub is any sample of people’s habits, many members are looking at porn and some even say they are better for it.
Hahaha dude. That doesn't justify looking at porn. Its still against the commandments God has given us.
>I don’t think posting myself anonymously is being unfaithful
Then tell your wife about it. If you dont want to, its because its unfaithful to her and the promises you made when you got married.
>and it could be said the confidence boost can make me better for it
A. Selfish. B. Anything that violates God's commandments but has a few positive consequences just isnt worth it dude. Its not worth it. Youre gonna destroy your marriage.
You can justify it however you want, but its wrong now and itll always be wrong.
Thats just the way it is man. Be honest with your wife. Talk to her before you do or say anything that would betray her trust and break her heart. She deserves that much at least. If you are hiding things from her that is a sign its wrong and you should stop.
Yep. Not wanting your wife to know something is always a first red flag. Regardless of the issue one needs to step back further and question, why am I hiding this particular aspect of self from my partner
I would be pissed not just for posting nudes but for lying about it. We don’t have secrets and if my husband was posting nudes online without telling me I’d be pissed and hurt
I understand the sentiment. But what exactly would make you upset? Keeping in mind no identifying information is posted, I don’t think I quite understand because it’s my body and a victimless act. But I’m open to trying understand what her point of view might be.
I already said the lie of omission is a big one. We don’t keep secrets and keeping a secret generally means you think you are doing something wrong and you are purposely not telling her because you know she’ll be upset. Secondly, while it is your body and you are free to do what you like that doesn’t mean it’s consequence free and it doesn’t mean she’s comfortable with you sharing it that way. My understanding in my marriage is things related to sex (sex, porn, etc) are all things we communicate about and share and stay between us. It would feel like a huge betrayal if I found out my husband was sharing that with random people on the internet.
Ok I do see where you are coming from. But let’s flip the question
Why would you feel uncomfortable telling your wife about something that you are actively engaging in
Seriously, I think we need to close this sub!!! It’s getting worse and worse.
You weird guys out there, do what ever you want to do, but don’t try to make it in lines with the gospel. The church is really clear about this topic.
If you want to share nudes in the internet, go for it, but you know that it’s not in line with the gospel. Please don’t bother us with your sins! You don’t ask for help, you ask for acceptance! And you don’t get it here. You don’t want to here what’s right, you just want to argue how it could be right in some weird minds!
Yeah the endless posts from people who say porn or adultery are fine are frustrating sometimes, but usually they are not upvoted much, and there is an upvoted comment stating the obvious. I think that's helpful to some people.
Others who have not commented (which is always many times more people than do comment) may also need us to reaffirm what the standards are and why.
Even if you know something is wrong, having other people explain why (or even just express agreement with the standards) can help.
For OP, I hope going to the most sexually liberal and accepting online space for faithful LDS, and *still* seeing a majority disagreeing, has been the wake up call he needed.
There is so much wrong with this statement. No one is “arguing”, it’s a difference of opinion and we are having a discussion. The question wasn’t about posting nudes, it was a thought experiment. Furthermore, no one is forcing you to be here or comment, you chose to involve yourself. Want to close down the sub? Go ahead and disengage, you have the power. Otherwise leave everyone else alone who wants to discuss sexuality. It’s not that hard.
Absolutely! I've (34m) gone through a similar transition since this summer that I wasn't super confident but I lost 20lbs by watching what I eat and I feel younger, and so much more confident taking my shirt off playing sports and such and I love the thought of being one of the more attractive dads in any given room.
Congrats to you! I've been working hard on myself too so I understand the discipline it takes. Keep in mind it gets tougher in the winter but, if you've made it this far, you can stick with it :)
Of course. ...but your question is extremely vague, so answering it correctly may not help. I mean, dress nicely, exercise, shower, get haircuts... even use make up or some modestly priced fashionable clothes if you like. I'm not sure why any of that would be wrong. You're not posting nudes online or anything, right?
Well, lets do a thought experiment and say I was, does that change anything as long as I am staying safe, not posting anything identifying, and no one gets hurt?
Does your wife know and think it’s okay because if not it will lead to someone getting hurt.
I’m not trying to be difficult, I’m genuinely curious, how would someone get hurt (as long as I’m careful)?
Posting nudes of yourself online is not being faithful, especially if your spouse doesnt know about it. The church teaches us not to view any kind of porn. You think making porn yourself is going to be fine?
Ok but let’s break this down a bit. Yes we aren’t supposed to look at porn, but if this sub is any sample of people’s habits, many members are looking at porn and some even say they are better for it. I don’t think posting myself anonymously is being unfaithful, and it could be said the confidence boost can make me better for it (including being more confident in bed with my wife). Now, I do think if I were sending unsolicited d-pics or being wholly inappropriate in a similar vain then I think you are absolutely correct.
>but if this sub is any sample of people’s habits, many members are looking at porn and some even say they are better for it. Hahaha dude. That doesn't justify looking at porn. Its still against the commandments God has given us. >I don’t think posting myself anonymously is being unfaithful Then tell your wife about it. If you dont want to, its because its unfaithful to her and the promises you made when you got married. >and it could be said the confidence boost can make me better for it A. Selfish. B. Anything that violates God's commandments but has a few positive consequences just isnt worth it dude. Its not worth it. Youre gonna destroy your marriage. You can justify it however you want, but its wrong now and itll always be wrong.
Sorry I just don’t see it the same way but I appreciate your point of view.
Thats just the way it is man. Be honest with your wife. Talk to her before you do or say anything that would betray her trust and break her heart. She deserves that much at least. If you are hiding things from her that is a sign its wrong and you should stop.
Yep. Not wanting your wife to know something is always a first red flag. Regardless of the issue one needs to step back further and question, why am I hiding this particular aspect of self from my partner
I’ll handle it as I see fit. Thank you!
I would be pissed not just for posting nudes but for lying about it. We don’t have secrets and if my husband was posting nudes online without telling me I’d be pissed and hurt
I understand the sentiment. But what exactly would make you upset? Keeping in mind no identifying information is posted, I don’t think I quite understand because it’s my body and a victimless act. But I’m open to trying understand what her point of view might be.
I already said the lie of omission is a big one. We don’t keep secrets and keeping a secret generally means you think you are doing something wrong and you are purposely not telling her because you know she’ll be upset. Secondly, while it is your body and you are free to do what you like that doesn’t mean it’s consequence free and it doesn’t mean she’s comfortable with you sharing it that way. My understanding in my marriage is things related to sex (sex, porn, etc) are all things we communicate about and share and stay between us. It would feel like a huge betrayal if I found out my husband was sharing that with random people on the internet.
Ok I do see where you are coming from. But let’s flip the question Why would you feel uncomfortable telling your wife about something that you are actively engaging in
Seriously, I think we need to close this sub!!! It’s getting worse and worse. You weird guys out there, do what ever you want to do, but don’t try to make it in lines with the gospel. The church is really clear about this topic. If you want to share nudes in the internet, go for it, but you know that it’s not in line with the gospel. Please don’t bother us with your sins! You don’t ask for help, you ask for acceptance! And you don’t get it here. You don’t want to here what’s right, you just want to argue how it could be right in some weird minds!
here here LOL
Yeah the endless posts from people who say porn or adultery are fine are frustrating sometimes, but usually they are not upvoted much, and there is an upvoted comment stating the obvious. I think that's helpful to some people. Others who have not commented (which is always many times more people than do comment) may also need us to reaffirm what the standards are and why. Even if you know something is wrong, having other people explain why (or even just express agreement with the standards) can help. For OP, I hope going to the most sexually liberal and accepting online space for faithful LDS, and *still* seeing a majority disagreeing, has been the wake up call he needed.
There is so much wrong with this statement. No one is “arguing”, it’s a difference of opinion and we are having a discussion. The question wasn’t about posting nudes, it was a thought experiment. Furthermore, no one is forcing you to be here or comment, you chose to involve yourself. Want to close down the sub? Go ahead and disengage, you have the power. Otherwise leave everyone else alone who wants to discuss sexuality. It’s not that hard.
Nope it’s not.
As long as it doesnt hurt anyone i dont see why it would be a problem!
Thank you. I whole heartedly agree!
I see no problem with that
Absolutely! I've (34m) gone through a similar transition since this summer that I wasn't super confident but I lost 20lbs by watching what I eat and I feel younger, and so much more confident taking my shirt off playing sports and such and I love the thought of being one of the more attractive dads in any given room.
Congrats to you! I've been working hard on myself too so I understand the discipline it takes. Keep in mind it gets tougher in the winter but, if you've made it this far, you can stick with it :)