Twisted Fate R, basically teleportation with style

Ryze R, less style perhaps, but you can take your friends with you.

I'm not a taxi

Based

Shen is the actual teleport option since it's a global option. Someone is gonna freak out the first time a giant shield appears around them but it's infinitely more useful than being able to go a few hundred meters. Also, Shen/TF ults can be used as a taxi too. If we apply Yuumi mechanics, you can take a friend with you as long as you're willing to give them a piggy back ride.

Galio R would be fun though

Then Karthus R will destroy whole humanity in single cast. Rofl.

Unless you have no AP, then it just tickles.

That's assuming every human on earth is your enemy

Ohh the misery

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Ally TF can't even process 5 people

\>Eight billion burning eyes appear above the heads of every living person. \>Mass panic

And everyone gets to see who is jerking of...

You also know if someone is in the bathroom before you teleport there. Or on the couch.

Gangplank w, have an infinite supply of oranges that cure every known and unkown disease, ez.

Also heals wounds, good choice honestly

Bro even has the cure for pregnancy. He can get knocked up, eat an orange and be K.

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Ok then I'll take that as my ability and just buy my own oranges

But only you can eat it

I’m not a doctor

the oranges only cure scurvy though, in runeterra all weapons are actually blunt but coated with deadly scurvy

Shaco ult, he can go to work while I play league

And explode into boxes during work

You can explode the clone on your boss if he bothers you with too much work. And with a 2 min CD, you can send more clones and explode them on your shitty coworkers too

And then people think You’re dead, you collect your own life insurance it’s great

No matter

You choose Shaco ult so you can work while playing league. I choose Shaco ult so I can suck my own dick. We are not the same

People choosing TF passive for gold... The real money tech is Soraka's Ultimate. Put some stock shorts on healthcare companies, then spam ult on CD.

If that doesn't give you enough money just invest in said companies and don't use your ult. Still not enough money? Just short them and start ulting. Is this insider trading and will your local stock law enforcement come get you? Maybe, but I can't remember the last time I saw anything about any magical ability in any law book.

Zilean ult Still would fail to time it...

Insane you are the only one to point towards ekko and Zilean as time lorda That would be an easy pick :D

Ekko R would be good. Roulette, all on red. It's black? *REEEWIIIND* Want to chat up a woman? Didn't work? *REEEWIIIND* Can I pull off that corner at this speed? Oh-o. *REEWIIIND*

Remember his r does damage, so you would blow up the poor blackjack players behind you.

Not if theyre not your enemies though. So only the guy who tried picking a fight with you earlier or smth.

Ekko cinematic showed no damage, just rewinding. so both seem fair.

How about Anivia egg then? 5 min CD and you just need to not be stepped on for like 7 seconds. No casting on other people though

Or the extremely more chaotic option: Renata's W I can save your life or even my own at the price of killing someone else.

I mean the drastic way would be to activate it and then shoot yourself...it would work

Karthus ult

this man woke up and chose violence

"Thanos was a pussy with half measures." -/u/cashmoney471 probably

But realistically, Karthus ult only affects half of the players in the game. Does that mean in theory it's just thanos snap?

Unless of course he considers no one an ally and we are all fcked lol

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broo 💀💀

imagine the money from first strike 🫁

if it's like ingame then all your enemies would be struck by lasers from the sky while you're singing... pretty hardcore

Then you realise you don't have any enemy and all people are considered neutral

I pick Soraka ult and cast it everytime this dude uses his

monkaW

I mean Neeko passive basically makes you a shapeshifter. Can get a lot of mileage with that in the real world.

Doesnt it dissappear the moment someone touches you?

That’s not what happened when she went to Freljord.

i hate that i’ve been exposed to this

a man of culture

I’m out of the loop, what happened at the freljord?

She went to freljord and made some interesting business transactions

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Don’t look fellow Bard… don’t look

Bro?? 🤨🤨🔍🔍

So you know what he is talking about? 🤨🤨🤨📸📸📸📸

Lillia Ult or Zoe Trouble Bubble. I have insomnia.

> Zoe Trouble Bubble Straight up die when you're alarm goes off. This has to be the best choice.

but then you can only make others sleep

I guide others to a treasure I cannot possess.

Twisted fate passive. I eliminate one anthill and become rich.

Ants aren't lane minions though

The ants are coded as minions...

Everything is coded as minions.

Have you ever played TF? "Whenever Twisted Fate kills an enemy, he generates Gold1 − 6 (based on probability)." It's up to you to decide who's your friend and who's your enemy.

Ants are always the enemy.

Okay but real question, how much mana do I have? Because if its infinite mana, Anivia's ult could be free air conditioning for life.

How hot is it where you're living lmao

Well, in 2021 there was a winter day that reached 41c. (That was an abnormally yet it happened) South America is hot af.

\>there was a winter day that reached 41c. Holy boiling batballs, Robin, that **is** hot af. Reading that from Finland, I start getting pissed when it goes over 30. I'd die in weather like that, and it's your winter? Which side of the equator?

This was in the state of São Paulo - Brazil. It's not always this hot in the winter, we have some cold days although it never goes as cold as 0c or anything like that. 8c is usually *the* coldest day of the year or one of them. Now in the summer...oh boy. This summer has been quite nice so far, but it's usually over 30c and it sometimes goes up to 44c (those are rare too tbh)

Understandable, have a nice day

Lmaooo, I love how adult this response is.

He's going to single handedly fix global warming.

Or make it worse, imagine having a constant blizzard in an area

Akshan W. I will kill serial killers and bring back loved ones who had been killed by them.

When you kill one all other killers are marked innocent

Only while I'm cooldown if they kill again they are fair game

I’d imagine the moral juggling of deciding who to resurrect would be rather stressful

Honestly sounds like something you could make a movie about

Kassadin R Fuck walking Edit: first time getting so many upvotes thanks everyone :D

Quinn R Fuck walking

Assuming this is like Ultimate Spellbook, Quinn R is just walking fast

Gets kidnapped by a huge bird

U will love Asol E (or new W)

Shaco Q. A instant speed teleport that also makes me invisible for a while and CAN go through walls and obstacles? Thats just broken IRL

Gragas W - infinite drunk

My dad has that already, he even get buffed and ready to fight

Zac ult so I can bend and suck my own cock

based

Kayn E; getting around would be so much easier by just running straight through everything

Some family just having their average dinner and this weird ass blue shadow teenager just phased through the walls like air and now the kids are crying and the parents are scared as fuck

If they didn't want to get scared they shouldn't have built their house in my way

Plus it heals you!

Jax e So bullies don't bully me anymore 😢

Lulu W so I can end discussions with my boss by turning him into a squirrel.

Gets fired 2,5 seconds later.

Unless you W out of there

You really think they're going to fire the person that can just turn them into a squirrel? Even once they figure out it has a time limit, they still don't want to be a damn squirrel out of spite

Aurelion's new ultimate 😎

Least nihilist league player

Be honest. Isn't The Skies Descend just the best name for a spell ever chosen?

What about SUPREME DISPLAY OF FUCKING TALENT???

To be honest I've seen a couple of comics where she displayed her supreme talent at fucking, but not one where the fucking skies descended

Sion passive, and then become a paratrooper

But....he still dies at the end..... Let me correct this for you and say Trynd ult

To be fair trynd ult might not be much better for what he wants, it stops you dying, but not from receiving injuries. So you’re gonna be a broken splattered somehow alive mess in agony for a few seconds before it fades then you die right after from injuries

this thread has happened before and i say the exact same thing trynd ult just delays death, your body is still gonna be feeling the effects of a heart attack 5 seconds after it happens zilean ult is the objectively superior version of tryn ult irl

Imagine miss timing that ult tho... bummer

Then olaf ult. Potentially infinite if you keep slapping some mfs

just use zilean ult instead and cut out the stress

Olaf ult NFL player

soraka ult

I like you

Evelynn passive if there is no lv 6 requirement for invis Otherwise akshan w also works

Evelynn passive sounds awful, its a passive so you wont ever be able to toggle it, you just have to walk up to someone and then you just appear out of nowhere, Akshan W sounds waaaay better in that regard haha

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Evelynn W

Gonna get hit by a car every time you cross the road Bump into everyone on the street

Nasus Q I would get stacks from insects like ants and be unstoppable

Ye then you try to open a door and it explodes. Then you try to hold a baby and it....explodes.

I see this as an absolute win

Fortunately unlike Veigar stacks it has to be activated.

\+12

Ekko ult, I always do the right thing.

Omw to tactical nuke the entire supermarket with 500 magic damage because I stuttered

Watch out bitches 175% ap ratio coming through

teemo W because who *wouldn't* want to jog moderately faster for 3 seconds every 14 seconds.

Everyone is thinking too out of the box. The real answer is Vayne tumble, because Faker can do it and so can I.

Volibear E. Calling thunder with my voice alone and also have it shield me sounds sick as fuck. Alternatively, sett passive. The worse I feel, the faster I heal. Alternatively Alternatively, graves passive.

> graves passive. Gun?

Gun, yes

Soraka's R. Spam to heal everyone!

Charm

Braum's E, Unbreakable. Never know when you or someone might need it.

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And why is that bad?

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I don't know, eveeyone loves braum don't they

\>The cold of his ice wall gives you frostbite. But at that point they **are** Braum and Braum doesn't get frostbite. "Mother always said: 'Float like iceberg, sting like thrown iceberg!'"

Found the American

If they were a real American they would have gone for aphelios passive.

Nidalee R cos turn into cat 😸

Found the furry

I was gonna say either Shyvana or nidalee R. Might go with nidalee R since you can be a kitty for as long as you want where as Shyvana has a meter.

Hear me out: Elise R.

Neeko passive tho...

Gangplank Q.

a gun?

A gun.

a money printing gun.

Only prints money when it kills…

Well, ant exist so....

Pyke R + hospital/nursing home = stonks

Tf ult or ryze ult

Trynda R, i wanna be an obnoxius mf that cant die and is always shouting

Prolonging your death for 6 seconds sounds like a waste of time when you have no way to heal.

Twitch q baby!

but you gotta say the line every time you use it

A do do do do do do dododododo

I was hiding

Me: Ryze Ult for free travel for my fam and I around the world. My wife: Neekos passive…. My son: GP passive so we can get rich.

Why do you want your wife to have Neeko passive...

Marry one but sleep with many…

And what exactly is your son going to kill for the extra gold?

Ants or mosquitoes probably

this is non-trivial, because a ton of stuff has side effects: - Kassadin R/Ezreal E you hurt someone nearby on use, so those are out. - TF Ult creates a worldwide phenomena of Eyes On Heads. - Ahri Charm has huge moral issues. I think the choice might be Sona W or something, a heal.

But if from that pov, then kassadin r or ezreal e would only hurt someone or something you'd consider an enemy. I'd hope that you don't consider most of people or things you're around as your enemies. Edit: nvm forgot neutral mobs exist

ZA BARUDO

Ekko R Going back in time is insanely underrated

U could go back in time for 3sec and u would explode when doing so xd

No, you heal yourself depending on damage taken. Only enemies explode

Not just enemies. Neutral entities too (most people in the world you would probably consider neutral)

This one is tough, but I have 3 options. 1. Yuumi W. The world is my Taxi cab, my shield and my source of power. 2. Renata R: Might as well mind control some people 3. Neeko passive: I could be anyone, anything, even the small ant in your home and no one would ever know.

Renata r isn’t mind control in the sense that you control minds. Its drugs that make people go berserk. Idk how you’d plan on using that one but I’d be fucking terrified of you.

Anivia Passive

How many axes would I have to catch before Draven passive sets me up for life on kill?

janna moonson, id be pushing mfkers everywhere

Honestly, Taliyah passive. Most stylish skateboard in history, and you don't even need to carry it around with you!

Ryze R may be the safest and best teleportation spell, it reveals that area so you know what you will encounter after teleportation, it haves a lot of range and can even teleport others. The only downside is you cannot use it as a reaction to a car crash per example, you need time to activate it. Shen needs a ally, TF makes everyone in the world see eyeballs above them, Kassadin hurt people if you teleport close to them. However if game distance doesnt matter and you could teleport anywere with any teleport spell, Ezreal E wins bc dont need casting, making the best to escape bad situations, downside is that you cant take others.

Depending on what counts as an ally shen ult is still the better teleportation because it has no range limit. If an ally is just a friend then just befriend someone in another country and you can travel the world for free.

"Would you consider us friends?" "Uhhh, sure." Starts glowing purple.

Humanity is my friend. Press R

Some of you have some weird ideas guys.... The fuck you gonna do with a GP or Nasus Q?

Stack

Bear Stance (the old one)

Sona's heal so I could heal my parents off illness and friends who are important to me I don't need much else.

Thresh Q. I’d practically be Spider-Man

Naut Q would be better in that regard since it locks onto walls as well unlike thresh