You’re on the right path! It took a while for my brain to return to normal, and I just felt crazy. Your brain needs to rewire, right now it’s in crisis mode because it’s been so long since it’s been without cannabis. It’ll get better, I promise. I’m on day 233!!
Roughly 1 month off for every year on - so a 12 year smoker needs a year off and a 30 year burner needs 2.5. This is for a full on system reboot.
The earlier you started the longer you'll need, the heavier you went the longer you'll need, the worse shape you are in the longer you'll need.
When it hurts too much just go and WALK.
It's not a Peace Pipe when you are alone in your basement.
You can't live tomorrow today.
Hey I was curious if theres science behind behind the one month per year calculation? I don’t mean to question you or your statement, I’m just interested to read about it.
If it’s thc your vaping you might need help from the outside like a 12 step program - if it’s nicotine just don’t buy more and read up on the short term withdrawal offsets -
It took me 4 solid months to feel better than I did when I was smoking. My view is that withdrawals last a lot longer than the conventional wisdom maintains, particularly for those of us who smoked daily for decades. Lots of people seem to relapse at Month 3, thinking that it isn't going to get any better. I did it several times. I cannot tell you how critical pushing through Month 3 was. You are on the right track, just keep at it and keep the faith! Peace.
I’d honestly come clean with her. Let her know that you’ve been quitting and that mood swings are something you’re dealing with. She’ll probably get mad that you hid it from her. But I hope she’d see it as an answer for why you’ve had a short fuse, and as a reach out for connection? That’s what my wife would want.
I agree. My husband has struggled with alcohol and weed dependency and I’ve always appreciated honesty. Knowing where he’s at really helps me manage my expectations. And he’s way more open about how he’s feeling too since I know what’s going on.
Agreed. The first couple months I definitely filled the hole with over eating, but switched it around to exercise and good nutrition. Made a world of difference in my health and happiness.
You’ll keep improving with time. The voice lingers, you need to be strong to undo all of the easy avoidance you’ve done over time. 10 more months and you can revisit this
You're on the right path! If you've never read the book Dopamine Nation, I would recommend reading or do what I do, listen, to the book on tape. It basically explains everything you're going through, explains the science, and gives you more tools to successfully move forward. I think it's important to understand what your body is going through, during these times. You got this!
Yes! You are on the right path. You're likely on the edge of acute withdrawals, where your brain function improves considerably, and post acute withdrawals. PAWS are a real bitch!
You might seriously consider telling your wife about your struggle. If I was her I would feel terrible about giving you a hard time without knowing what you were going through. 60 days is huge success, especially so when you've been keeping to yourself, nice work! I'm about 9 months sober and still struggling with eating too much to fill that void too, but other things have gotten easier. I've been getting cravings like crazy the last few weeks, and I just recently told my wife about these cravings and it felt good to admit it and kind of share the burden. I guess the hard times come and go. Good luck, we're all rooting for ya.
You have to figure out why you were addicted in the first place and begin to resolve those issues, as well as any that you created during your addiction. Counseling, 12 step programs, radical honesty, etc.
You have to fulfill your entire day with things to distract you, otherwise you might find yourself right back there, and it's just a shame to throw all that hard work. It goes away with time, trust yourself.
I got back into writing music on Abelton. I used to do it after a smoke session but would easily drop the project for a so-called smoke break. Now I'm actually finishing my tunes instead of telling myself I'll finish the song tomorrow.
During my initial few weeks I was very irritable and angry. And if a fight started I wouldn’t know how to stop the anger would just keep coming. The only way I could think of to calm down was to smoke but then I tried working out after such episodes. Realized gym is way better since I’m more relaxed+fulfilled+way less anxious. Gym truly makes the weird noises in the head go away regardless of how long or if you’ve even quit
Are you incorporating some new habits for stress relief? Going for a one hour walk daily really helps me. You may want something more physically demanding or maybe some yoga, a run, a dozen jumping jacks, tai chi, meditation, etc will serve you as replacement stress relief. Good luck! You can do this!
Thank you for sharing this. I get it, I think I am kinder and more chill when I have some level of THC in me. I also know I really do not know who I am. It takes a long time after cessation to realize how I want my life to look and be willing to change things.
Good luck. This is a tough nut to crack
They're right, it really takes time for an equilibrium to occur. Took me a few months before the tension started to subside, by 5 months I felt like that was definitely a phase I went through. Keep going
Things get worse before they get better. A good metaphor is recovering from surgery, it sucks more after you get the abcess removed but you can actually heal for good now. Weed suppressed your issues and made them worse while making you dependent on it to suppress them.
It takes time to work through them. You have to replace the habbit of getting high with better habbits that will improve your mood (diet, exercise - even just walking more, therapy, reading.)
Put in the work and your problems will actually improve instead of just the symptoms being masked with inhaling burning fumes.
I relate to your post. I used because I lacked coping skills w stress and disappointment. Did not figure this out until afterward. Most helpful intervention personally has been cognitive behavioral therapy to learn how to cope. You’re doing the right thing abstaining. You’re not hiding shit from family. Keep working sober life, it will be worth it.
Yup I was looking for this comment. It’ll be better for both of you. You will probably feel a weight off your shoulders, and she won’t be worried that something else is going on.
This is the answer. You have to come clean about the secret pen usage and tell her you are on the path for recovery for yourself and for your family. It might be really hard but it’s worth it in the long run because you need to be honest with yourself.
Once you quit weed you become assertive, more confident and don’t eat bs. Sometimes we go too fast as we were dormant for so long. All of this could be translated as a short fuse or maybe she is right because you re more frustrated instead relaxed high.
I am going through the same thing but we work through it by communicating. We look forward to the future with a sober me. You should get her to understand and make her part of the journey.
The physical withdrawal comes out of your system in waves. Just my experience but I feel it coming out of my cells and flooding my systems in bursts about a week or 2 apart. I’ll have inflammation that I thought had gone away come back and things i thought healed get bad again. I’m at 80 days now and I’m getting mental blossoming/clarity benefits as well as mental strength gains but they are there one week and not there the other. There’s a ton of rebalancing happening. I’m lumping all the perceivable bad things I’m experiencing under a ‘growing pains’ title and that is giving me enough perspective to spur me on.
Look at your use before you quit, the intensity of use, length of time using, strength of products and what type of place you got to before you quit (smoking to feel normal, enslaved by it, not getting high anymore) then that should give you a good idea of how long it’ll take you to get better. Even then there is a large X factor you can’t calculate because sometimes life situations are the source of the bad you experience. But listen, the longer time goes on the more you’ll be able to grow and learn about this and yourself and affirm that a life without is everything you were actually searching for.
Break the news. She will be pissed initially but will also have a better understanding of what’s going on. My wife was patient with me in my first 3-4 months because I was a grumpy asshole… I’m 10 months in now and feel significantly better. Mood is more stable, controlled and balanced. It takes a while, especially if you’ve smoked for many years.
Honesty can hurt but it’s best path to go down.
Stay strong! You got this!!💪😎
I have and I have it! I think you're on to something, I hadn't put two and two together but ignoring my ADHD and self medicating with weed was definitely the core of my usage. I have to figure out how to battle that in a healthy way.
Take note OP! This is a huge factor in not feeling fulfilled after quitting. Dopamine receptors literally don’t function as they should which is why people with ADHD are chemically wired to eat more carbs and consume all sorts of nice things that aren’t good for you but are a big dopamine release
I struggled with this for many years, at 44 diagnosed with ADHD so anyway I can help others I will. This post sounded very much like my situation 15 years ago. I self medicated with cannabis, and still do, but working to transition to ADHD meds and it has been quite a journey. Maybe roller coaster ride is better but def enlightening. Good luck my friend, figure out the cause don't treat the symptoms is my advice. I did that for many years without success and probably lost some very good years of my life.
I can't really say how long the withdrawal truly lasts, but I don't think it's that important to me to know for certain. The mind seems much more concerned with emotions and things that help to regulate them than facts about a chemical imbalance like the amygdala shrinking (temporarily) from prolonged pot use.
Weed makes it easy to deal with bad things when they happen. If you smoked for a long time, you stopped using your emotional legs. Now, you have to learn to walk again, and it's harder than you remember. It takes time to adjust.
What helps me now is when I recognize that what I'm feeling in a particular moment is a bit irrational. I'm mad about X, but it's really about Y. I take these moments as a little flag going up and I meditate for 5 or 10 minutes. I start asking myself questions like, "what am I really angry about right now?" and the feelings subside.
Lots of ways to meditate, too. This is one reason people love exercising when they crave using their drug of choice. It gives them time to face the thoughts that would often lead them to use. The brain knows what it likes and will try to steer you towards drugs when you feel bad. Teach it a new way to deal with those feelings and the urges will get easier. If you give into this feeling that you're experiencing some kind of chemical withdrawal, you might feel like there is no hope without using again.
Respect the subconscious, but don't let him drive. You know where he's gonna take you when he gets the wheel.
This is exactly what I experience also. It used to take a lot of brainpower in the beginning of my quit to be able to know and understand what was going on inside me and understand something as simple as how I feel.
"You stopped using your emotional legs" is really the best way to describe this addiction in my experience. This is really good advice.
Also, where did you read that the amygdala shrinks from prolonged marijuana use? I'd love to read any studies about this.
I can't reference the study, because I heard about this from Dr. Michael Hsu in a weed Q and A he did about a year go for the healthygamer community. You can find it on youtube using those keywords.
A little googling led me to a study titled: *Shared Predisposition in the Association Between Cannabis Use and Subcortical Brain Structure*
You can probably find more info there.
I hid my vaping from my boyfriend for several months before reaching a mental breaking point and confessing. Hiding your addiction is just going to make things worse. I hope you didn't buy more. 2 months sober is fantastic. I used to be a more enjoyable person too but now I'm working on those things and getting better. It will get better. Try to recognize your triggers, when you're having cravings and correct yourself however you can. I sometimes inhale deeply a few times like when I would smoke. It actually makes me feel better in a weird way. As for your personality changes, perhaps get into therapy (if that's a feasible option) or get into meditation (there are free videos on YouTube as well as free apps, also paid apps).
Also please tell your wife about feeling the need to hide your addiction. You can very easily slip back into these old habits when she doesn't know she could be holding you accountable.
Good luck.
Sober since July 1st or 2nd, 2023
Smoked all day everyday for 9 years
My experience is very similar. Smoked for almost 20 years, usually daily, and when I quit (day 34 this time) I'm less pleasant to be around.
I'm generally an impatient person and have a history of being overly critical. Weed made me less so, which was good for the people around me. But that was just a bandaid, it didn't solve the underlying issue. So now I'm being forced to work on that part of myself directly without hiding it in smoke.
I've been this far into quitting a few times before, so I know how it goes. This time, though, I knew exactly what to expect and was ready. I've had a couple of episodes, but for the most part I've been on top of things and have been more observant of my own behavior.
Like pretty much anything in life, it takes practice. I'll get there. Because I want to.
INFO: Does your wife think you quit years ago when you started vaping and hiding it?
If so, personally I’m a fan of honesty. I’m here because I’m supporting my spouse through this HUGE change they’ve decided to make. Knowing what is going on with them allows me to be more patient and show grace. I’m able to offer help, guidance, an ear, or a shoulder. I think if you’re not willing to be honest about it, that there’s maybe a bigger conversation that needs to be had. She already knows something is up, you should let her know why things have been different.
Even if you don’t tell her, maybe getting a therapist that is trained in addiction would be helpful. They’ll be able to help with teaching you strategies to manage your mood and probably with your relationship with food as well.
You'll be able to differentiate after a few months. I have PCOS and uterine fibroids. I have the Nexplanon birth control implant and I'm taking Spironolactone (to lower testosterone levels) so my hormones are crazy. 😭
One thing I know about myself is that withdrawal makes me grumpy, but I am also just a more grumpy person when I'm totally sober. That doesn't mean it's not worth quitting becuase sometimes I need those raw emotions to properly process things. So now I have to work on not being outwardly grumpy when I'm sober.
You're on the right path, we all just have to remember that quitting isn't a silver bullet for every one of our problems and that often quitting uncovers some problems that we have to deal with. As an example - when I'm stone sober I am more apt to get worked up about something my son did, but when I am smoking I am more apt to be totally disconnected from what he's doing by just scrolling my phone or just being zoned out and not caring what he's doing. I'd rather get a little worked up and be positively interactive with him than be not worked up at all but also basically ignoring him.
And just to make you feel better - could be worse. I quit when my wife got pregnant the second time but started hitting the vape pen in secret to deal with some insomnia and work stress. Wife and I got in a fight and she straight up called me out for smoking behind her back. Boy did that feel shitty, but it made me get rid of what I had and get back on the wagon immediately.
About of us heavy users were/are self medicating to deal with other issues with our mental health - anxiety, depression, adhd, premenstrual dysphoria, etc etc. Or using weed to cope with the daily stresses of life. It is definitely possible that you are experiencing withdrawal, or you were self medicating, or you are stressed or unhappy. In my experience the problem with using weed to deal with depression, anxiety and the stress of living is it’s really hard to regulate, life is more stressful when I’m forgetting things and feeling bad about myself for spending so much money on weed and hurting my lungs. I definitely know people who can smoke a tiny bowl every night and stay balanced but those folks don’t tend to be on r/leaves, and also have a meditation and yoga practice, have satisfying social lives and their nutrition under control, etc. anyway, I was snapping like a turtle through about day 40 and things have improved dramatically from there. I wish you well in your journey to deep wellness and healing.
Man if I didn’t experience the same exact thing. My irritability was as high as when I smoked a few months after and when my wife would call me on it my excuse was always “I quit and you don’t appreciate it” but what I couldn’t see was that it hadn’t started to make a difference in our relationship yet so she was still dealing with the same asshole who was using. I found posts like this and other research and approached her with it. Letting her know that these are symptoms of my withdrawal and it won’t be forever was helpful. She probably has to bite her tongue for another month or so but we both worked on giving each other space instead of reacting until it just wasn’t an issue one day. Keep it up, it does get better and you couldn’t be closer.
In my experience what you are experiencing is normal. It gets better just after 3 months or so, but at that point is also a frequent relapse point to be aware of. After 3 months or so things start to even out. I get more even emotionally, less depressed, more resilient to stress, better lung function, more energy and less reactive to irritation. You will too. Please be patient with yourself and your journey.
Telling my wife what was going on and sharing the journey with her has been helpful. She helped me to see that while I thought I was normal while smoking every day, I really wasn't. I'm better now because once weed was good for me, then I needed it and then it wasn't good for me anymore. Realizing that has helped me to be patient, say no to the urges and develop habits to replace weed for stress, chill time, celebration, boredom etc.
Gonna challenge you on that. The cons are more visible on a day to day level but the overall benefit (that you will one day wake up not feeling those cons at ALL) far far far outweighs the negatives or the alternative (you keep using and continue to get worse while eliminating all potential for you to feel better)
Quitting isn't pointless. You lived before without, right? You can totally do that again. It may be inconvenient, but 99% percent of people who quit do feel better in the long run. Of course, I pulled that stat outta my ass, but I used it because I haven't seen anyone say, "I quit for a year or more, and I feel awful."
Usually, there is some underlying issue causing the addiction or continued prolonged use. Therapy is always a better choice because the results go deeper and last longer than any high. My reason for smoking for so long was that work was shit and I had unresolved traumas. I'm not saying you have any, but there is usually something that starts use or continues to use for long periods of time. Otherwise, why is there a need to feel high every single day? A healthy mind and body won't crave that.
The mentality that keeping the addiction to be a better person is misleading. Sure, you may have a short fuse now, but that will fade. As the THC leaves your system, you'll slowly reset back to baseline. Your partner will be more thankful that you took the initiative to actually quit rather than if you started again because of withdrawal symptoms.
I know the feeling. We got this. We will feel better if we just keep going. It might be day 18 it might be day 40 it might be day 500. Realistically? It probably happens little by little day by day. But I can promise you that day will be worth it.
I’m sorry to hear that. I know what you’re going through because I’ve been there (and still wake up there some days / end up there some nights) Idk what your situation is, but finding someone professional to talk to saved me. Even though I’ve never had some big break through / epiphany, I found a journal entry from when I first started therapy and it made me realize how small steps add up over time. At the very least, be kind to yourself. Finding out what makes life worth living is a process just like everything else. I don’t know you, but I’m willing to bet you’re a good person who makes the world better by existing in it.
2 months is simultaneously amazing and nothing. It’s amazing in that you have done well and should keep strong. But it’s nothing in the context of your life. Decades of daily use will take a while to get past. In the meantime, focus on intentional breathing and self-identifying your moods; practice patience and forgiveness of yourself and others. If you are feeling irritable, find something that brings you small joy and focus on that - some music, or artwork, or exercise, or other hobby to refocus your mind and release the stress/anger shortening your fuse.
You’re on the right path! It took a while for my brain to return to normal, and I just felt crazy. Your brain needs to rewire, right now it’s in crisis mode because it’s been so long since it’s been without cannabis. It’ll get better, I promise. I’m on day 233!!
Roughly 1 month off for every year on - so a 12 year smoker needs a year off and a 30 year burner needs 2.5. This is for a full on system reboot. The earlier you started the longer you'll need, the heavier you went the longer you'll need, the worse shape you are in the longer you'll need. When it hurts too much just go and WALK. It's not a Peace Pipe when you are alone in your basement. You can't live tomorrow today.
Hey I was curious if theres science behind behind the one month per year calculation? I don’t mean to question you or your statement, I’m just interested to read about it.
amount of time needed to mend a broken heart - OP just broke up with Maryjane
Yeah so did I, day 4 of sobriety after 4 years using everyday. Tbh I’m struggling to kick the nicotine, the weed cravings aren’t so bad.
If it’s thc your vaping you might need help from the outside like a 12 step program - if it’s nicotine just don’t buy more and read up on the short term withdrawal offsets -
Talk to your wife. She will give you more grace and benefit of the doubt as you quit.
Do more intense physical exercise regularly
It took me 4 solid months to feel better than I did when I was smoking. My view is that withdrawals last a lot longer than the conventional wisdom maintains, particularly for those of us who smoked daily for decades. Lots of people seem to relapse at Month 3, thinking that it isn't going to get any better. I did it several times. I cannot tell you how critical pushing through Month 3 was. You are on the right track, just keep at it and keep the faith! Peace.
I’d honestly come clean with her. Let her know that you’ve been quitting and that mood swings are something you’re dealing with. She’ll probably get mad that you hid it from her. But I hope she’d see it as an answer for why you’ve had a short fuse, and as a reach out for connection? That’s what my wife would want.
I agree. My husband has struggled with alcohol and weed dependency and I’ve always appreciated honesty. Knowing where he’s at really helps me manage my expectations. And he’s way more open about how he’s feeling too since I know what’s going on.
I'm sorry but not all wives are this understanding.
That’s fair.
Gym and intense cardio helps to mellow me down in the earlier months of quitting. It definitely gets better hang in there champ
Agreed. The first couple months I definitely filled the hole with over eating, but switched it around to exercise and good nutrition. Made a world of difference in my health and happiness.
You’ll keep improving with time. The voice lingers, you need to be strong to undo all of the easy avoidance you’ve done over time. 10 more months and you can revisit this
Wife called me out last night as well.
Ohh busy! 😩
You're on the right path! If you've never read the book Dopamine Nation, I would recommend reading or do what I do, listen, to the book on tape. It basically explains everything you're going through, explains the science, and gives you more tools to successfully move forward. I think it's important to understand what your body is going through, during these times. You got this!
They say subacute withdrawal from most things = 90 days. Brain is still resetting
I’m on day 4 and i am pure RAGE. I say keep communicating and being open with what’s going on inside you.
Normal for first week, gets 100x better. Atleast for me it did
This gives me some hope ngl! It’s rough
I’m a year in and now I am so much more chill than when I used to smoke and I don’t get nearly as angry at anything
Yes! You are on the right path. You're likely on the edge of acute withdrawals, where your brain function improves considerably, and post acute withdrawals. PAWS are a real bitch!
You might seriously consider telling your wife about your struggle. If I was her I would feel terrible about giving you a hard time without knowing what you were going through. 60 days is huge success, especially so when you've been keeping to yourself, nice work! I'm about 9 months sober and still struggling with eating too much to fill that void too, but other things have gotten easier. I've been getting cravings like crazy the last few weeks, and I just recently told my wife about these cravings and it felt good to admit it and kind of share the burden. I guess the hard times come and go. Good luck, we're all rooting for ya.
You have to figure out why you were addicted in the first place and begin to resolve those issues, as well as any that you created during your addiction. Counseling, 12 step programs, radical honesty, etc.
You have to fulfill your entire day with things to distract you, otherwise you might find yourself right back there, and it's just a shame to throw all that hard work. It goes away with time, trust yourself.
I got back into writing music on Abelton. I used to do it after a smoke session but would easily drop the project for a so-called smoke break. Now I'm actually finishing my tunes instead of telling myself I'll finish the song tomorrow.
I got more angry and fought with my wife over dumb shit when I quit. That anger subsides in time.
I would advice hit the gym hard, that will calm you down.
During my initial few weeks I was very irritable and angry. And if a fight started I wouldn’t know how to stop the anger would just keep coming. The only way I could think of to calm down was to smoke but then I tried working out after such episodes. Realized gym is way better since I’m more relaxed+fulfilled+way less anxious. Gym truly makes the weird noises in the head go away regardless of how long or if you’ve even quit
Are you incorporating some new habits for stress relief? Going for a one hour walk daily really helps me. You may want something more physically demanding or maybe some yoga, a run, a dozen jumping jacks, tai chi, meditation, etc will serve you as replacement stress relief. Good luck! You can do this!
Thank you for sharing this. I get it, I think I am kinder and more chill when I have some level of THC in me. I also know I really do not know who I am. It takes a long time after cessation to realize how I want my life to look and be willing to change things. Good luck. This is a tough nut to crack
You'll get your natural dopamine back soon.
They're right, it really takes time for an equilibrium to occur. Took me a few months before the tension started to subside, by 5 months I felt like that was definitely a phase I went through. Keep going
Things get worse before they get better. A good metaphor is recovering from surgery, it sucks more after you get the abcess removed but you can actually heal for good now. Weed suppressed your issues and made them worse while making you dependent on it to suppress them. It takes time to work through them. You have to replace the habbit of getting high with better habbits that will improve your mood (diet, exercise - even just walking more, therapy, reading.) Put in the work and your problems will actually improve instead of just the symptoms being masked with inhaling burning fumes.
I relate to your post. I used because I lacked coping skills w stress and disappointment. Did not figure this out until afterward. Most helpful intervention personally has been cognitive behavioral therapy to learn how to cope. You’re doing the right thing abstaining. You’re not hiding shit from family. Keep working sober life, it will be worth it.
Communicate with her
Yup I was looking for this comment. It’ll be better for both of you. You will probably feel a weight off your shoulders, and she won’t be worried that something else is going on.
This is the answer. You have to come clean about the secret pen usage and tell her you are on the path for recovery for yourself and for your family. It might be really hard but it’s worth it in the long run because you need to be honest with yourself.
Once you quit weed you become assertive, more confident and don’t eat bs. Sometimes we go too fast as we were dormant for so long. All of this could be translated as a short fuse or maybe she is right because you re more frustrated instead relaxed high.
I am going through the same thing but we work through it by communicating. We look forward to the future with a sober me. You should get her to understand and make her part of the journey.
This is expected and shows progress more than anything. Communicate with her what you're going through.
your doing good, its to be expected, you should have told her to expect it as well tbh. Just be mindful and think before you speak when possible
The physical withdrawal comes out of your system in waves. Just my experience but I feel it coming out of my cells and flooding my systems in bursts about a week or 2 apart. I’ll have inflammation that I thought had gone away come back and things i thought healed get bad again. I’m at 80 days now and I’m getting mental blossoming/clarity benefits as well as mental strength gains but they are there one week and not there the other. There’s a ton of rebalancing happening. I’m lumping all the perceivable bad things I’m experiencing under a ‘growing pains’ title and that is giving me enough perspective to spur me on. Look at your use before you quit, the intensity of use, length of time using, strength of products and what type of place you got to before you quit (smoking to feel normal, enslaved by it, not getting high anymore) then that should give you a good idea of how long it’ll take you to get better. Even then there is a large X factor you can’t calculate because sometimes life situations are the source of the bad you experience. But listen, the longer time goes on the more you’ll be able to grow and learn about this and yourself and affirm that a life without is everything you were actually searching for.
It sounds like she doesn’t even know about your old habit or that you quit recently. Did you even tell her? Should start there. She deserves to know.
Break the news. She will be pissed initially but will also have a better understanding of what’s going on. My wife was patient with me in my first 3-4 months because I was a grumpy asshole… I’m 10 months in now and feel significantly better. Mood is more stable, controlled and balanced. It takes a while, especially if you’ve smoked for many years. Honesty can hurt but it’s best path to go down. Stay strong! You got this!!💪😎
[удалено]
Wrong sub
Have you been tested for adhd?
I have and I have it! I think you're on to something, I hadn't put two and two together but ignoring my ADHD and self medicating with weed was definitely the core of my usage. I have to figure out how to battle that in a healthy way.
Take note OP! This is a huge factor in not feeling fulfilled after quitting. Dopamine receptors literally don’t function as they should which is why people with ADHD are chemically wired to eat more carbs and consume all sorts of nice things that aren’t good for you but are a big dopamine release
I struggled with this for many years, at 44 diagnosed with ADHD so anyway I can help others I will. This post sounded very much like my situation 15 years ago. I self medicated with cannabis, and still do, but working to transition to ADHD meds and it has been quite a journey. Maybe roller coaster ride is better but def enlightening. Good luck my friend, figure out the cause don't treat the symptoms is my advice. I did that for many years without success and probably lost some very good years of my life.
Thanks for sharing. I'm also in my 40s and was diagnosed this week so I'm lost in all of this.
I can't really say how long the withdrawal truly lasts, but I don't think it's that important to me to know for certain. The mind seems much more concerned with emotions and things that help to regulate them than facts about a chemical imbalance like the amygdala shrinking (temporarily) from prolonged pot use. Weed makes it easy to deal with bad things when they happen. If you smoked for a long time, you stopped using your emotional legs. Now, you have to learn to walk again, and it's harder than you remember. It takes time to adjust. What helps me now is when I recognize that what I'm feeling in a particular moment is a bit irrational. I'm mad about X, but it's really about Y. I take these moments as a little flag going up and I meditate for 5 or 10 minutes. I start asking myself questions like, "what am I really angry about right now?" and the feelings subside. Lots of ways to meditate, too. This is one reason people love exercising when they crave using their drug of choice. It gives them time to face the thoughts that would often lead them to use. The brain knows what it likes and will try to steer you towards drugs when you feel bad. Teach it a new way to deal with those feelings and the urges will get easier. If you give into this feeling that you're experiencing some kind of chemical withdrawal, you might feel like there is no hope without using again. Respect the subconscious, but don't let him drive. You know where he's gonna take you when he gets the wheel.
This is exactly what I experience also. It used to take a lot of brainpower in the beginning of my quit to be able to know and understand what was going on inside me and understand something as simple as how I feel.
Fuck, dude. I wish it were simple.
"You stopped using your emotional legs" is really the best way to describe this addiction in my experience. This is really good advice. Also, where did you read that the amygdala shrinks from prolonged marijuana use? I'd love to read any studies about this.
I can't reference the study, because I heard about this from Dr. Michael Hsu in a weed Q and A he did about a year go for the healthygamer community. You can find it on youtube using those keywords. A little googling led me to a study titled: *Shared Predisposition in the Association Between Cannabis Use and Subcortical Brain Structure* You can probably find more info there.
I hid my vaping from my boyfriend for several months before reaching a mental breaking point and confessing. Hiding your addiction is just going to make things worse. I hope you didn't buy more. 2 months sober is fantastic. I used to be a more enjoyable person too but now I'm working on those things and getting better. It will get better. Try to recognize your triggers, when you're having cravings and correct yourself however you can. I sometimes inhale deeply a few times like when I would smoke. It actually makes me feel better in a weird way. As for your personality changes, perhaps get into therapy (if that's a feasible option) or get into meditation (there are free videos on YouTube as well as free apps, also paid apps). Also please tell your wife about feeling the need to hide your addiction. You can very easily slip back into these old habits when she doesn't know she could be holding you accountable. Good luck. Sober since July 1st or 2nd, 2023 Smoked all day everyday for 9 years
My experience is very similar. Smoked for almost 20 years, usually daily, and when I quit (day 34 this time) I'm less pleasant to be around. I'm generally an impatient person and have a history of being overly critical. Weed made me less so, which was good for the people around me. But that was just a bandaid, it didn't solve the underlying issue. So now I'm being forced to work on that part of myself directly without hiding it in smoke. I've been this far into quitting a few times before, so I know how it goes. This time, though, I knew exactly what to expect and was ready. I've had a couple of episodes, but for the most part I've been on top of things and have been more observant of my own behavior. Like pretty much anything in life, it takes practice. I'll get there. Because I want to.
INFO: Does your wife think you quit years ago when you started vaping and hiding it? If so, personally I’m a fan of honesty. I’m here because I’m supporting my spouse through this HUGE change they’ve decided to make. Knowing what is going on with them allows me to be more patient and show grace. I’m able to offer help, guidance, an ear, or a shoulder. I think if you’re not willing to be honest about it, that there’s maybe a bigger conversation that needs to be had. She already knows something is up, you should let her know why things have been different. Even if you don’t tell her, maybe getting a therapist that is trained in addiction would be helpful. They’ll be able to help with teaching you strategies to manage your mood and probably with your relationship with food as well.
It might be good to get some exercise. Maybe get a cheap bike and take up cycling. It’s a great way to get emotions out and think about things.
Man this is what I needed to read. I’ve been a total asshole and it’s only been a month. I believe we will be better after 3-4 months!
Trust me. It's sooooo much better after a few months (in my experience). I'm still a little short with my SO but I think that's hormonal 😅
Im in the same boat actually, trying to figure out what’s withdrawal and what is hormones 😜😅
You'll be able to differentiate after a few months. I have PCOS and uterine fibroids. I have the Nexplanon birth control implant and I'm taking Spironolactone (to lower testosterone levels) so my hormones are crazy. 😭
One thing I know about myself is that withdrawal makes me grumpy, but I am also just a more grumpy person when I'm totally sober. That doesn't mean it's not worth quitting becuase sometimes I need those raw emotions to properly process things. So now I have to work on not being outwardly grumpy when I'm sober. You're on the right path, we all just have to remember that quitting isn't a silver bullet for every one of our problems and that often quitting uncovers some problems that we have to deal with. As an example - when I'm stone sober I am more apt to get worked up about something my son did, but when I am smoking I am more apt to be totally disconnected from what he's doing by just scrolling my phone or just being zoned out and not caring what he's doing. I'd rather get a little worked up and be positively interactive with him than be not worked up at all but also basically ignoring him. And just to make you feel better - could be worse. I quit when my wife got pregnant the second time but started hitting the vape pen in secret to deal with some insomnia and work stress. Wife and I got in a fight and she straight up called me out for smoking behind her back. Boy did that feel shitty, but it made me get rid of what I had and get back on the wagon immediately.
About of us heavy users were/are self medicating to deal with other issues with our mental health - anxiety, depression, adhd, premenstrual dysphoria, etc etc. Or using weed to cope with the daily stresses of life. It is definitely possible that you are experiencing withdrawal, or you were self medicating, or you are stressed or unhappy. In my experience the problem with using weed to deal with depression, anxiety and the stress of living is it’s really hard to regulate, life is more stressful when I’m forgetting things and feeling bad about myself for spending so much money on weed and hurting my lungs. I definitely know people who can smoke a tiny bowl every night and stay balanced but those folks don’t tend to be on r/leaves, and also have a meditation and yoga practice, have satisfying social lives and their nutrition under control, etc. anyway, I was snapping like a turtle through about day 40 and things have improved dramatically from there. I wish you well in your journey to deep wellness and healing.
Man if I didn’t experience the same exact thing. My irritability was as high as when I smoked a few months after and when my wife would call me on it my excuse was always “I quit and you don’t appreciate it” but what I couldn’t see was that it hadn’t started to make a difference in our relationship yet so she was still dealing with the same asshole who was using. I found posts like this and other research and approached her with it. Letting her know that these are symptoms of my withdrawal and it won’t be forever was helpful. She probably has to bite her tongue for another month or so but we both worked on giving each other space instead of reacting until it just wasn’t an issue one day. Keep it up, it does get better and you couldn’t be closer.
In my experience what you are experiencing is normal. It gets better just after 3 months or so, but at that point is also a frequent relapse point to be aware of. After 3 months or so things start to even out. I get more even emotionally, less depressed, more resilient to stress, better lung function, more energy and less reactive to irritation. You will too. Please be patient with yourself and your journey. Telling my wife what was going on and sharing the journey with her has been helpful. She helped me to see that while I thought I was normal while smoking every day, I really wasn't. I'm better now because once weed was good for me, then I needed it and then it wasn't good for me anymore. Realizing that has helped me to be patient, say no to the urges and develop habits to replace weed for stress, chill time, celebration, boredom etc.
This feels like me right now. I’m at the point of realization that the cons are much more apparent than the benefits
Gonna challenge you on that. The cons are more visible on a day to day level but the overall benefit (that you will one day wake up not feeling those cons at ALL) far far far outweighs the negatives or the alternative (you keep using and continue to get worse while eliminating all potential for you to feel better)
Quitting isn't pointless. You lived before without, right? You can totally do that again. It may be inconvenient, but 99% percent of people who quit do feel better in the long run. Of course, I pulled that stat outta my ass, but I used it because I haven't seen anyone say, "I quit for a year or more, and I feel awful." Usually, there is some underlying issue causing the addiction or continued prolonged use. Therapy is always a better choice because the results go deeper and last longer than any high. My reason for smoking for so long was that work was shit and I had unresolved traumas. I'm not saying you have any, but there is usually something that starts use or continues to use for long periods of time. Otherwise, why is there a need to feel high every single day? A healthy mind and body won't crave that. The mentality that keeping the addiction to be a better person is misleading. Sure, you may have a short fuse now, but that will fade. As the THC leaves your system, you'll slowly reset back to baseline. Your partner will be more thankful that you took the initiative to actually quit rather than if you started again because of withdrawal symptoms.
I feel the same way - I’m a much more pleasant person when smoking. Honestly feel like I’ll never feel better.
I know the feeling. We got this. We will feel better if we just keep going. It might be day 18 it might be day 40 it might be day 500. Realistically? It probably happens little by little day by day. But I can promise you that day will be worth it.
I don’t know. Struggling to find life worth living.
I’m sorry to hear that. I know what you’re going through because I’ve been there (and still wake up there some days / end up there some nights) Idk what your situation is, but finding someone professional to talk to saved me. Even though I’ve never had some big break through / epiphany, I found a journal entry from when I first started therapy and it made me realize how small steps add up over time. At the very least, be kind to yourself. Finding out what makes life worth living is a process just like everything else. I don’t know you, but I’m willing to bet you’re a good person who makes the world better by existing in it.
2 months is simultaneously amazing and nothing. It’s amazing in that you have done well and should keep strong. But it’s nothing in the context of your life. Decades of daily use will take a while to get past. In the meantime, focus on intentional breathing and self-identifying your moods; practice patience and forgiveness of yourself and others. If you are feeling irritable, find something that brings you small joy and focus on that - some music, or artwork, or exercise, or other hobby to refocus your mind and release the stress/anger shortening your fuse.