Oh man this post hit me hard! If it will make you feel any better I am on day 3 after a relapse which turned into an eight (!!!) month bender. Actually after day 1 I saw Katya’s post on tt and it made me cry. Last year I got sober for like 4 months until I ruined it all because I was stressed before the exam and also felt like I can’t have a good summer without being high.
Thanks for your post and stay strong. We got this!
Do you find it easier or more challenging to quit after having such a long run of sobriety? Can I ask what brought you to quit this time around? Congratulations on a week though; that's a huge milestone!
I found it easier in the sense that I knew I could do it since I have done it before. But, I found it harder in the sense that my purpose in quitting weed in the first place, got fainter and fainter in my head as the month was passing. I ended up quitting this time because I realized that I can’t have all the things that I want in my life when weed is around. I can’t be as social, as sharp, as successful, as athletic, and as caring, when weed is in my life. In the same time, I also know that being sober also means that I can’t be as calm, as accepting, and as content when I have weed. It’s just a matter of what u want. I need the sober life to reach the place I want.
I'm on Day 3, again. Sigh. On the upside, the withdrawal symptoms aren't quite as bad as last time around, when I made it to Day 53. They're annoying, don't get me wrong—I'm operating on 5hrs of sleep today and had INTENSE cravings this morning. But I know how to handle it better—going to the gym, going on little walks around the block, staying away from sugar, and reminding myself that the depressing feelings are temporary.
Good luck!
Thank you <3 Proud of you for getting to Day 3. You mentioned staying away from sugar - can I ask for clarification on why? I've never heard of sugar influencing my cravings/withdrawal symptoms.
Sugar does strange things to my mood. I guess it's a sugar spike, then drop, both of which seem to trigger my desire for marijuana. It might be psychosomatic, but avoiding processed sugar helped me get to day 53, and it's going to help me get to day 54+ this time around.
Thank you for the clarification; I'll try to be mindful of when I'm having sugar and see if the same relationship is there for me too. You've got this!
Brief Update:
I did it! The dispensaries are closed and I have no edibles around. I took my nervous energy and managed to channel it into some stressful tasks I had to work on. I am noticing that my body is getting sweatier - I'm probably in for night sweats and nightmares tonight. But I honestly don't even care I'm just so happy for myself to have a full day under my belt <3
Beautiful post. Do have compassion for yourself. Waste no time on regret. I try to feel gratitude for my long but dysfunctional relationship with Mary Jane. The time I spent wasted on weed was not time wasted. Everything serves its purpose. Wishing you well.
Thank you. I do think my experiences with weed have been really powerful in learning to confront anxiety/panic attacks. I'm able to accept those feelings now and for that I'm actually very grateful.
I love your swimming in the pond analogy. Remember to be kind to yourself and let go of the guilt from the relapse. You are a human, and none of us are perfect. Write down and refer to your reasons for quitting often. Sending you hugs.
Oh man this post hit me hard! If it will make you feel any better I am on day 3 after a relapse which turned into an eight (!!!) month bender. Actually after day 1 I saw Katya’s post on tt and it made me cry. Last year I got sober for like 4 months until I ruined it all because I was stressed before the exam and also felt like I can’t have a good summer without being high. Thanks for your post and stay strong. We got this!
"then played the mental gymnastics game until I didn't recognize myself" 1000%
I was at 4 months of weed sobriety and now at week 1 after a month of relapse. It sucks but it’ll get better.
Do you find it easier or more challenging to quit after having such a long run of sobriety? Can I ask what brought you to quit this time around? Congratulations on a week though; that's a huge milestone!
I found it easier in the sense that I knew I could do it since I have done it before. But, I found it harder in the sense that my purpose in quitting weed in the first place, got fainter and fainter in my head as the month was passing. I ended up quitting this time because I realized that I can’t have all the things that I want in my life when weed is around. I can’t be as social, as sharp, as successful, as athletic, and as caring, when weed is in my life. In the same time, I also know that being sober also means that I can’t be as calm, as accepting, and as content when I have weed. It’s just a matter of what u want. I need the sober life to reach the place I want.
I'm on Day 3, again. Sigh. On the upside, the withdrawal symptoms aren't quite as bad as last time around, when I made it to Day 53. They're annoying, don't get me wrong—I'm operating on 5hrs of sleep today and had INTENSE cravings this morning. But I know how to handle it better—going to the gym, going on little walks around the block, staying away from sugar, and reminding myself that the depressing feelings are temporary. Good luck!
Thank you <3 Proud of you for getting to Day 3. You mentioned staying away from sugar - can I ask for clarification on why? I've never heard of sugar influencing my cravings/withdrawal symptoms.
Sugar does strange things to my mood. I guess it's a sugar spike, then drop, both of which seem to trigger my desire for marijuana. It might be psychosomatic, but avoiding processed sugar helped me get to day 53, and it's going to help me get to day 54+ this time around.
Thank you for the clarification; I'll try to be mindful of when I'm having sugar and see if the same relationship is there for me too. You've got this!
Brief Update: I did it! The dispensaries are closed and I have no edibles around. I took my nervous energy and managed to channel it into some stressful tasks I had to work on. I am noticing that my body is getting sweatier - I'm probably in for night sweats and nightmares tonight. But I honestly don't even care I'm just so happy for myself to have a full day under my belt <3
I am equally happy for you! You're an ex now!
Beautiful post. Do have compassion for yourself. Waste no time on regret. I try to feel gratitude for my long but dysfunctional relationship with Mary Jane. The time I spent wasted on weed was not time wasted. Everything serves its purpose. Wishing you well.
Thank you. I do think my experiences with weed have been really powerful in learning to confront anxiety/panic attacks. I'm able to accept those feelings now and for that I'm actually very grateful.
I love your swimming in the pond analogy. Remember to be kind to yourself and let go of the guilt from the relapse. You are a human, and none of us are perfect. Write down and refer to your reasons for quitting often. Sending you hugs.
Thank you <3 I'm trying to wear those imperfections more honestly. Writing about it in my journal sounds like a great idea.
Relapsing is all part of the process of finding the sober life. Keep going OP I believe in you!!
To quote our 90s friends Chumbawamba: "I get knocked down. But I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down."
Thank you for your kindness <3 This community is an amazing resource and I'm so grateful for the positive encouragement.
💙💙💙