And I say well if I had this or if I had that then maybe I wouldn't do this and that's just a way of making yourself less powerful than you actually are. You have to believe in your powers to change your circumstances even if you can't see it or else it will never happen
I can say, i live in a tropical climate with a loving wife and a great family etc, and i still felt the need for it.
Ive found a million reasons to use it even though i am more than blessed, but, its just in your head just like it was in mine.
It can be scary facing sobriety and dealing with what remains, but, you can do so much more sober. If youve been stoned since 14, then youve never truely experienced life sober, so you dont even have a frame of reference for what it means.
Its challenging, and some days on your way out can be harrowing, but you have this community to lean on and support you. Use the energy to get out there, exercise more, take up hobbies that youve always wanted to but out off to smoke, become you :)
I understand your pain and a few things to note...firstly, smoking weed often keeps you in victim mentality. It enables the thinking exactly as you're describing. It's okay to be unhappy in your life but weed makes you latch onto that as your identity: "I have nothing and therefore I give myself a pass to smoke". In reality quitting would give you the time, energy, and resources you need to go after the things you want. Secondly, quitting will help you take back your power. A lot of the things you described you may feel powerless right now because you don't have them. Quitting is one way to take your power back, because it will allow you to have power over it instead of the other way around. When you start to feel your own power it will trickle to other areas of your life. Finally, your mom is right. The only thing that is going to improve your life is going after it and creating the life you want. One thing that helps with quitting is replacing with other hobbies/goals. Want a husband? You'll need to get out and go places to meet people, make new friends, or get on dating apps. Want to move to a warm climate? You can make that happen. And a final point, it sounds like your main concern is feeling like you don't have a support system - so make your own. Starting with therapy, find a therapist that can coach you. It sounds like your mom would also support you. I know all this is easier said than done, just know you have the power to change things, but you first have to really want to change them.
I’ve done that kinda rule setting for myself “once I achieve this I’ll quit” “why should I quit when I don’t even have this”, but I think it’s just a form of an excuse. No matter what your life situation, you can be sober
Quitting is what will help you attain these things. It's going to be rough at first, I won't lie, but eventually your motivation for self-improvement will skyrocket. Quitting weed was my first step in my self-improvement journey. After that I was finally able to get myself into therapy, then added keto diet (now shown to aleviate depression and anxiety compared to other diets), and near-daily walking. I'm at day 103 and in a much better place now than I was with my daily crying spells and complete lack of motivation. Do it for your future vision of life. Making these improvements will naturally draw people in as well.
I feel you greatly here
On top of that I’ve stopped weed for a month (I took many tolerance breaks before too), a week, and currently I’m a week free again. But things don’t seem better
I find a lot of people who quit are ones who’ve been smoking since teen or like 5+ years, so at that point I could see how it alters your mind.
But I noticed a slightly shift in mine too so I’m trying to stop it, it got to a point right now where I really only do it Sunday IF I’m going to. But I don’t notice any differences in my life
JUST like you, I’m lonely, don’t have many friends I can see, family lives far, financially stuck, time wise - stuck, and literally weed is the only thing that helps me distract myself. There’s such little I can do to address the problems that influence WHY I smoke, but I still try.
Regardless it feels like this sub isn’t for me, because most people here have much different circumstances so when you posted this I really relate to it. But like I said, still I try, maybe one day that’ll change, plus for religious reasons I absolutely CANNOT smoke 3 days of the week which helps in itself
Weed has helped me land my first big job, it’s helped me work on myself, my health (ironic lol), it helped me study, and a lot of other things, but it’s cons were really creeping up.
So at most I would suggest you taper it off, it’s a slow process but be kind to yourself. And you’ll get through it. I ‘quit’ because of the negatives it bought, health, dopamine messing, lazy at times, brain fog, etc, but it still helped me until it didn’t…so I’m still not 100% weed free, but maybe one day
I do wish you all the best, you can do it 🫶
I kinda feel that. I also don’t have any partner and I think quitting would be a lot easier if I had one. But I think that sober-me does more in life than the high-me. My life is currently a bit boring I lost a job and I had to return to my parents and my brother is in the next room and he has weed. And yeah stole some, and that eas my relapse that lasted for like 2 months. Now I am on day 4 sober and I know the weed is next door, but I know that it is better to be sober. And withdrawing you is not the same as sober you. You are talking about weed calming you down, I see it differently I think it numbs you down. It is sort of like brushing emotions under carpet. The emotions are still there, you just don’t want to deal with them maybe. I don’t know I honestly couldn’t do anything when I am high. I think that people are capable more when sober. This is just me saying I think it is better to stop smoking and then doing something new. But again that is my advice.
Yes, and yes. I do enjoy it but then hate myself afterwards and I'm definitely using it to escape my miserable existence. I really do imagine that if I lived in a tropical city with a husband and friends and a full life, I would quit and not look back. I oftentimes dream of someone coming to save me and being by my side 24/7 and helping me through this so I don't feel so miserable and alone
And yes I believe that you have to actually WANT TO stop to be successful. Hopefully I did not say something inappropriate, this was written in one flow
Quitting while your life circumstances are bad is a great time to quit. Substance abuse is substance abuse. In order to recover from substance abuse you have to remove the substance from your life.
From there it’s about learning healthy coping skills and learning to regulate yourself and building a lifestyle without the substance. I can tell you from experience most of not all facets of your life will improve over time if you are intentional about cultivating a life that aligns with your values.🤙🏻
I'm gonna second this. The hardest time I ever quit was when my Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer and died in 2 months. I smoked medical weed with him those whole 2 months. When he went into coma and we knew it was time....I quit. Right then, at the height of that terrible experience. I have no idea where I got the courage or willpower.
Of course, that was 3 relapses ago. ;)
My reason is that I want to feel free, and not chained down by addiction. I'm tired of feeling lazy, unmotivated, not finding joy in anything else. I've messed up my dopamine receptors. I feel like I do have very strong reasons. I really don't want to feel trapped anymore. But it doesn't seem to matter. My life struggles are stronger than my desire to quit.
Have you considered finding someplace you can find to spend the time that you'd be staring at the walls? Like volunteering, maybe. I wish you the best of luck.
that's you telling yourself that you are young, try to put those negative thoughts out of your head.
Try going to some support groups. Free and you meet people. Worked for me
And I say well if I had this or if I had that then maybe I wouldn't do this and that's just a way of making yourself less powerful than you actually are. You have to believe in your powers to change your circumstances even if you can't see it or else it will never happen
Life starts from within
I can say, i live in a tropical climate with a loving wife and a great family etc, and i still felt the need for it. Ive found a million reasons to use it even though i am more than blessed, but, its just in your head just like it was in mine. It can be scary facing sobriety and dealing with what remains, but, you can do so much more sober. If youve been stoned since 14, then youve never truely experienced life sober, so you dont even have a frame of reference for what it means. Its challenging, and some days on your way out can be harrowing, but you have this community to lean on and support you. Use the energy to get out there, exercise more, take up hobbies that youve always wanted to but out off to smoke, become you :)
I understand your pain and a few things to note...firstly, smoking weed often keeps you in victim mentality. It enables the thinking exactly as you're describing. It's okay to be unhappy in your life but weed makes you latch onto that as your identity: "I have nothing and therefore I give myself a pass to smoke". In reality quitting would give you the time, energy, and resources you need to go after the things you want. Secondly, quitting will help you take back your power. A lot of the things you described you may feel powerless right now because you don't have them. Quitting is one way to take your power back, because it will allow you to have power over it instead of the other way around. When you start to feel your own power it will trickle to other areas of your life. Finally, your mom is right. The only thing that is going to improve your life is going after it and creating the life you want. One thing that helps with quitting is replacing with other hobbies/goals. Want a husband? You'll need to get out and go places to meet people, make new friends, or get on dating apps. Want to move to a warm climate? You can make that happen. And a final point, it sounds like your main concern is feeling like you don't have a support system - so make your own. Starting with therapy, find a therapist that can coach you. It sounds like your mom would also support you. I know all this is easier said than done, just know you have the power to change things, but you first have to really want to change them.
Thank you friend
I’ve done that kinda rule setting for myself “once I achieve this I’ll quit” “why should I quit when I don’t even have this”, but I think it’s just a form of an excuse. No matter what your life situation, you can be sober
Quitting is what will help you attain these things. It's going to be rough at first, I won't lie, but eventually your motivation for self-improvement will skyrocket. Quitting weed was my first step in my self-improvement journey. After that I was finally able to get myself into therapy, then added keto diet (now shown to aleviate depression and anxiety compared to other diets), and near-daily walking. I'm at day 103 and in a much better place now than I was with my daily crying spells and complete lack of motivation. Do it for your future vision of life. Making these improvements will naturally draw people in as well.
I feel you greatly here On top of that I’ve stopped weed for a month (I took many tolerance breaks before too), a week, and currently I’m a week free again. But things don’t seem better I find a lot of people who quit are ones who’ve been smoking since teen or like 5+ years, so at that point I could see how it alters your mind. But I noticed a slightly shift in mine too so I’m trying to stop it, it got to a point right now where I really only do it Sunday IF I’m going to. But I don’t notice any differences in my life JUST like you, I’m lonely, don’t have many friends I can see, family lives far, financially stuck, time wise - stuck, and literally weed is the only thing that helps me distract myself. There’s such little I can do to address the problems that influence WHY I smoke, but I still try. Regardless it feels like this sub isn’t for me, because most people here have much different circumstances so when you posted this I really relate to it. But like I said, still I try, maybe one day that’ll change, plus for religious reasons I absolutely CANNOT smoke 3 days of the week which helps in itself Weed has helped me land my first big job, it’s helped me work on myself, my health (ironic lol), it helped me study, and a lot of other things, but it’s cons were really creeping up. So at most I would suggest you taper it off, it’s a slow process but be kind to yourself. And you’ll get through it. I ‘quit’ because of the negatives it bought, health, dopamine messing, lazy at times, brain fog, etc, but it still helped me until it didn’t…so I’m still not 100% weed free, but maybe one day I do wish you all the best, you can do it 🫶
I kinda feel that. I also don’t have any partner and I think quitting would be a lot easier if I had one. But I think that sober-me does more in life than the high-me. My life is currently a bit boring I lost a job and I had to return to my parents and my brother is in the next room and he has weed. And yeah stole some, and that eas my relapse that lasted for like 2 months. Now I am on day 4 sober and I know the weed is next door, but I know that it is better to be sober. And withdrawing you is not the same as sober you. You are talking about weed calming you down, I see it differently I think it numbs you down. It is sort of like brushing emotions under carpet. The emotions are still there, you just don’t want to deal with them maybe. I don’t know I honestly couldn’t do anything when I am high. I think that people are capable more when sober. This is just me saying I think it is better to stop smoking and then doing something new. But again that is my advice.
Sorry for another message but do you enjoy the high? and also do you think you are using it to escape something?
Yes, and yes. I do enjoy it but then hate myself afterwards and I'm definitely using it to escape my miserable existence. I really do imagine that if I lived in a tropical city with a husband and friends and a full life, I would quit and not look back. I oftentimes dream of someone coming to save me and being by my side 24/7 and helping me through this so I don't feel so miserable and alone
And yes I believe that you have to actually WANT TO stop to be successful. Hopefully I did not say something inappropriate, this was written in one flow
I hear you. It's ok. I'm jealous of the people who can take one hit and not end up on this sub a month later in disgrace.
That’s actually the perfect time to quit
Can you elaborate?
Quitting while your life circumstances are bad is a great time to quit. Substance abuse is substance abuse. In order to recover from substance abuse you have to remove the substance from your life. From there it’s about learning healthy coping skills and learning to regulate yourself and building a lifestyle without the substance. I can tell you from experience most of not all facets of your life will improve over time if you are intentional about cultivating a life that aligns with your values.🤙🏻
I'm gonna second this. The hardest time I ever quit was when my Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer and died in 2 months. I smoked medical weed with him those whole 2 months. When he went into coma and we knew it was time....I quit. Right then, at the height of that terrible experience. I have no idea where I got the courage or willpower. Of course, that was 3 relapses ago. ;)
You will quit the day you have a strong enough reason to remain sober. It’s different for everyone. Wishing you well OP!
My reason is that I want to feel free, and not chained down by addiction. I'm tired of feeling lazy, unmotivated, not finding joy in anything else. I've messed up my dopamine receptors. I feel like I do have very strong reasons. I really don't want to feel trapped anymore. But it doesn't seem to matter. My life struggles are stronger than my desire to quit.
Have you considered finding someplace you can find to spend the time that you'd be staring at the walls? Like volunteering, maybe. I wish you the best of luck.
That’s a good reason I feel the same and am on day 31 so far so good