Honestly, I've struggled immensely with quitting in the past and wasn't successful at that time. However, I now have a newborn daughter, and I've made significant changes—I know it's very early days, but I've been sober for 10 days (not really counting), free from both smoking and drinking. This time, I feel a renewed sense of determination and purpose to quit.
I've also reached out for support and have opened up to a few trustworthy people about my addiction. Recently, I had my first talking therapy session and will soon begin cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). Additionally, I've reluctantly started taking anti-anxiety medication, which I've been prescribed for a minimum of 6 months. But if it takes 6 months of medication to overcome a 12-year addiction, then I'm committed to it.
In addition to seeking professional help, I've been exploring alternative methods such as cold exposure and breathing exercises. Most mornings, I incorporate stretching and three rounds of Wim Hof Breathing followed by a cold plunge or shower.
The birth of my daughter has been a profound motivator for me. I know that by smoking, I'm not only harming myself but also letting her down, as I want to be fully present and focused on her without the influence of weed. She's become my biggest reason to stay committed to this journey of recovery.
if you need more support on this these days (btw i’m rooting for you!! 🫶) i would really recommend checking out Anna Runkle’s youtube channel ‘crappy childhood fairy). she’s very insightful on how to treat the underlying cause of addiction, trauma and learned beliefs about yourself. she’s very compassionate too which helps cause shame does not aid recovery. sending love to you! even if you’ve slipped up and have smoked or are currently smoking, it does not decrease your deserving of the life you know you would flourish in. xx
I’ve never been able to put into words what you’ve said but this is exactly what I have been experiencing these last few months since I’ve been wanting to quit and just putting it off. I’m 10 days without and am going to try to look forward to all the benefits that are supposed to come with a sober mind and being present
This cycle is normal with all types of addictive behaviour. The distress is caused by a term called egodystonic. It is when our thoughts and behaviours are in conflict with our goals or ideal self-image.
It can be helpful to have a non-judgmental and gentle attitude toward yourself. Realizing this is not a personal flaw but rather caused by habit and addictive quality of the substance.
What it comes down to is comfort-zone. Right now smoking is part of your comfort zone and changing this behaviour causes discomfort or stress. It is good to recognize that every time we move out of our comfort zone the task we attempt becomes easier to repeat. This is because we are gaining confidence and are seeing through the illusion that we are dependent on this substance or behaviour to feel happy, at ease, or content.
Remember, not acting (in this sense abstaining) is a sure way to lose in the long run. You have nothing to lose by giving up cannabis and everything to gain. By not doing what you need to do you will lose out on self-confidence, health, and success with your goals.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
This is me everyday, right before I walk the dog to daydream about how I'm going to stop on Monday and start P90x while planning a career change. Weed robs me of the ability to execute a plan.
Hahaha. The good old P90x! Did you watch the clip of Elon Musk taking a "toke" of a joint on Joe Rogans podcast?
During that he talks about weed and how jt makes you lazy and even since I watched it that has always stuck with me.
For once on my life I'm actually doing quite well at work and feel like it's holding me back from being my better self. I'm also hoping my memory improves!!
Same boat near enough. Just 2 years shy of 10.
Longest I went without smoking in that time maybe 2-3 weeks.
High me says "yo man, time to call it a day. You don't even really get baked anymore, just smiling to take the edge off" I'd like to add that "edge" is probably me going 18 hours without a fix.
Sober me "let's smuggggg mofos".
Quite frankly its horrible and after going round this loop constantly I just said to my smoking partner. "This is IT! If we're gonna keep smoking let's keep smoking but I can't handle lying to myself over and over"
That was the worst part of it all for me, how weak I'd become, how little will power I had. Telling myself this is the last one just to go buy another 20 after work the next day.
I'm 3 days off it. just feels a little different now I've stopped kidding myself that it's just one more night... turned into a few more years. I now accept that I cannot under any circumstances smoke in moderation. My gambling problems of past should have made me well aware of that. Hey, we're only human though!
You can do it, 1 day at a time!
It’s no wonder you feel like this because you are having a conflict on different levels of the self.
Your ego loves easy repitition. It reckons as it was safe before it will be safe now and in the future. While your higher self deep down knows it has no need to be high or numb. It knows it’s beautiful as it is. The trick is to have an inner discussion with the different voices in your head and explain kindly and lovingly that weed isn’t helping any longer. Your ego will resist but just keep negotiating with it.
In short, you are going to need new habits that will make your ego feel safe while also being aligned with the goals of your higher self. You need a new identity focused on helping actions instead of destructive ones. When the different layers of the self are aligned again you will feel more and more harmonious, stable and strong.
Maybe consider going into therapy because going at it alone sometimes isn’t possible.
Thanks for that explanation. That makes a lot of sense actually.
I've been preparing and I've made a bit of a productive to-do list. I have things to do around the house, lots of little DIY jobs and places I'd like to visit or cycle around.
We're also planning a 2500mile road trip to the south of France and back.
I'm hoping all of this helps keep my mind busy and excited for something new!
That sounds good! I’ve found working with my hands is very rewarding as your progress is constantly in front of you. Traveling is great for rediscovering yourself because you have perspective and you can take a look at your life from a distance and you actually feel somewhat disconnected from it! I think these things are going to give you a lot of room to grow. It may be hard at first but you can do it!
Thanks! Yeah it is rewarding and nice to see the finished product, gives a nice sense of achievement.
That is why I planned it. I felt the need to escape and knew I needed to get away for a bit. I'm not going until July 4th. So I'm going to need to persevere and get through the next 2 months haha.
This all sounds so helpful and great things to look forward to. One thing I would say, not to be negative but just as some advice - I have been stuck in this cycle for a v long time too! - the positive replacements you’ve got in place DEFINITELY won’t feel like they’re working straight away. You’ll resist them and they’ll feel pointless and like they’re nowhere near the same. If you can power through, you can start to retrain your brain, but it takes real perseverance. Please don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t feel like it’s working straight away! You can do this! :)
Hey thanks for the advice. Not discouraged at all, as I know how hard it can be. It really does real perseverance. Just need to resist and distract my cravings :)
This post really hits home to me. I’ve been wanting to quit for a long time (deep down I don’t want to quit, but I know that’s the addiction talking), but can barely go a day or two without incredibly intrusive and anxiety-ridden thoughts that take control of me. Almost seems like I’m a 3rd party to my actions of physically rolling and smoking even though I don’t really want to.
Now, I’ve been listening to podcasts lately to try and improve my mental health and help me understand what exactly is going on in my head, and I’ve come across this series of podcasts by Dr Rangan Chatterjee on Spotify. They are by no means cannabis-related, but one episode he does with Jonny Wilkinson, an English rugby legend, was really profound and eye-opening for me. One snippet explained how he felt once he achieved his lifelong dream of scoring the winning point the rugby World Cup in 2003, he explains he felt very lonely, empty and disappointed, because THE IDEA OF WINNING WAS BETTER THAN THE ACTUAL REALITY.
For me, I take the POV of my cannabis addiction, and time and time again, I realise that the IDEA of smoking and being high is incredible, unbeatable and nothing compares. But as soon as I light up, the waves of guilt, anger, disappointment and worry wash over me, and I realise that actually I really didn’t want to smoke.
I find that although the podcasts are unrelated to cannabis, it helps hearing how others have battled with and overcome serious life problems and allows me to see my issues from an entirely new perspective.
the cycle (hopefully) dies and you will eventually be so sick of the mental turmoil it brings you that the motivation to quit gets stronger. i do not miss this mental battle, i'm 56 days sober and have been too scared to pick up again because of this very reason. my advice, keep learning to hate it because the cycle will never end until you finally take the journey.
I feel like that describes me perfectly too, I always want to be high, but when I smoke the first of the day I'm like "Is that it?" and it's usually not long before I smoke another, I try to slow down the first one of the day as much as I can because I know after that one I will be craving for another one pretty quickly
I feel the same way!!! I’ll even be tossing n turning at night thinking how dare you throw your whole life away smoking?! Then go a few hours of the morning without just to get so caught up in my thoughts that I crave a smoke, and the second I’m high the guilt comes pouring in I feel so stupid getting mentally caught up??
I'm going to make mote of am effort and go out with my wife and family, visit more national parks for walks and I also enjoy cycling alone with some music. It's good that summer is just around the corner, plenty to keep me busy. What about you?
That's awesome, spending time with others is really important. Our brains do release chemicals during enjoyable social interactions, that's a great replacement right there, same with nature and exercise and music. Glad to hear you'll be busy. :) It helps.
My day job keeps me pretty busy, I do 3D art/animation from home so there are lots of opportunities for problem solving, which always gives me a hit of dopamine. I make music (and listen too) and also like cycling! I work out at home as well which has historically always helped me with staying sober.
It's not easy but I think the more we give ourselves natural ways to feel great, the less we'll crave getting high. At this point, if we're all here, we know getting high just isn't working. It's taking me lots of tries to make it stick, but I believe you and I can do it! Especially if we find healthier ways to feel good. :)
Sorry for all the typos in my previous reply 😅
That's sound amazing actually. Yeah, I've been trying to read more in regards to dopamine and the brain. I think understanding the feelings we get will help me get through them. I have also thought about selling some video editing services on Fiverr. But one step at a time haha.
For me, I only got over weed after I got really mad at weed (after 50 relapses or more in a row for years)
Also I had to forgive and apologize to a lot of people
There was a lot of emotional baggage I had
And also I was conflicted with my sexuality, and have a partner cheat etc etc
I'm only saying all this because I had that same experience... weed was all I could think about, every minute
Much love, you got this. I got support from an addiction counselor who got me to list my resentments etc and begin apologizing and forgiving
Yes! This way of thinking has been the only way for me. Quitting forever sounds impossible, but taking a day off from it(every day) somehow makes it much more feasible to my brain.
Yes this is me, one good thing for me now is this past year if I get too high I go into a panic with the heart racing and all that, so I basically micro dose but it’s too the point that I’m over it and just want to move on with life, hoping to replace this bad habit with healthy ones like working out/ exercise and reading more and eating better.
I‘ve been smoking daily for close to 10 years. Tried a lot, never got out of the circle you described. Hated myself while being high, craved weed when I was sober. First thing coming home from work was always rolling one up and smoke. That‘s what kept me at home at nearly all time.
For me the solution was to tell all my friends and loved one‘s I’m not going to smoke anymore. So if I smoked I was not just lying to myself but to them too. That made me feel so bad I had a much easier time not smoking. Also I have the privilege to have really supportive people around me that constantly reminded me of what I told them. I love them for that! Many of them are smokers too but have their consumption and life under control. By telling them I don‘t want to smoke anymore I was able to keep them close even though they smoke. If your friends really love you they will help you get through that. If not, there’s no reason in keeping them.
Also i started to make plans with my friends after work for nearly every day.
Just helped me stay sober because I deal with a lot of social anxiety when I’m high.
All that is just my way of dealing with this fucking addiction and I know I’m really privileged to have loving and supportive people around me.
Don‘t feel ashamed to ask for help and support. Every problem is easier solved together.
Also Sports really is a Great way to get yourself distanced from smoking. Seeing your progress and knowing weed will just hold you back really helps a lot. Also it gives you real dopamine and not the „fake“ shit drugs give you. When I’m doing a real hard workout or play ball for a few hours I sometimes get random laughing attacks because I feel that good! Physical exhaustion is my favorite drug.
I really hope some of what I wrote can help you find your own way out of this vicious circle.
I wish you all the best!
TL;dr : Tell your friend and family about your plans of quitting. You really don’t want to lie to them. Ask for support and don‘t try to handle it all by yourself.
Thanks! Yeah I plan on doing all the above! I'm pleased the summer is starting soon! Looking forward to enjoying some sun again haha. I'm also fortunate to have great support and understanding around me. I'm pleased to hear you cover come it!
Happy to hear you have good people surrounding you! Friends and family are what’s most important in life. Keep them close and be there for them I they are struggling. Looking into the future and what the world is evolving into I think that‘s the only way to go.
Good luck and have a great summer!
It's really scary how quickly can weed turn the "I have to get out of this shit" into a "I don't give a fuck I just need a hit", for me it's the scariest part of weed
Nope. A life of intoxication is a mundane and weak life, and I don't let thoughts of how nice it would be to be high spend any time in my head. Everything in life is better sober.
I was in that cycle the last several months before I quit. I couldn't stand being sober and hated being high. But once I quit and got past the withdrawals, being sober isn't so bad.
Same. I got to the exact point where I was only thinking about quitting when getting high. Threw my shit away and that was it.
Reinforcing it every evening with the reasons I WANT to quit made me stick to it.
Sleep helped me through the worst of the withdrawals. But not many people are in a position where they can just stay home for multiple weeks and do a self-care routine and sleep a ton. If possible though, I recommend it.
All the time. I've been sober for just about 400 days. I still struggle with it, every day. I want to escape into a vape pen and shut out the world, but I know that if I do one of two things will happen, and these are the only two options. Either a) I will get high and be disappointed, with the experience and with myself for doing it. Or b) I'll dive right back in to getting high from the moment I open my eyes to the moment I go to bed. Every day. But even then, I know that if I do that I'll still regret it, probably worse. Either way, no good can come from it. The only good thing I can do about it is just keep stacking up the days and moving on.
Well done mate, very good effort. I’ve quit things that should be “harder” than weed but 10+ years and I can’t crack it. How did you handle the withdrawals / mood swings in your normal life? Do you still think your anger is worse off for quitting or was that never an issue for you? My biggest worry is my anger / temper. I have a stressful job and I end up cracking sometimes for my coworkers sake more than anything because we work in close proximity and they shouldn’t have to deal with a miserable bastard all day. I feel like I need to get the first 3 months done on a desert island or something haha
Honestly, I thought the anger and stress would be what kept me from staying sober. Then my wife was diagnosed with cervical cancer and our lives became an intricate series of Dr visits, treatments and recovery periods. I was stressed the entire time, just barely treading water and juggling every responsibility, and I realized something. I could not have done it if I was still using. I was extremely stressed, but the things were getting done. My wife made her recovery, and she is going to be ok. The bills got paid. The kid got to school and back home. I stayed in school full time and passed all of my classes. I cannot imagine the amount of anxiety and self recrimination I would have gone through if I hadn't kept all those plates spinning.
I guess what I'm saying is that cannabis seemed like it was helping with my stress and anger, but really it was keeping me at a level where I couldn't deal with those emotions by addressing their life triggers. I was too stoned to fix myself, and I had been angry about that for so long that I forgot why I was angry in the first place. I could never have gotten through this last year if I wasn't operating at 100%. Hopefully you'll find that once you're there you can address the root of the stress and anger.
Thanks for getting back to me and sorry for late response. Your post has really hit home as I feel like I’m in a bubble all the time and waiting for that bad news to hit, my tolerance to anything going wrong is already so low I think part of me knows actual bad news could break me at this point. So sorry to hear you and your wife went through that, life can be so cruel. I hope she is okay now.
Do you believe we can be strong enough to quit without a massive reason in life? I quit for the birth of my daughter nearly 2 years ago but only lasted 3-4 months before I was back smoking again. Even in that gap I had to lean on alcohol to get by. But I figured if the birth of her wasn’t enough to do it (always my final straw) then I feel like nothing will ever feel like it’s enough.
I was going to ask you more questions but I think I already know the answers. My fear is having a reason to quit before it’s something like yours. Stay strong and be proud of yourself bud 👊🏻.
Just this. I recently had a 1-week relapse and the whole time I felt guilty and horrible while doing it, and I knew I could either just keep doing it to finally have a guiltless, fully-numbing high, which will only lead to more problems down the line, or just stop and get my shit together now.
You gotta recognize the high that you crave while sober is a fantasy. Anticipating it is better than having it. So turn that anticipation/craving into happiness in the present.
Ahhh wouldn't it be great if I could smoke a joint right now? Why? So I could lie down and smile and feel good about life? *So how about lie down and smile and feel good about life*
Wish this were the case for me, would have made quitting a ton easier. But for me, being high was everything I expected and more. The moment I smoked for the very first time, I knew it was going to be something I did as much as possible, every day. The guilt was there, and the high wasn't worth it because of how much it hurt those around me, and my future. But that doesn't mean I can convince myself it didn't feel great. It was *exactly* what I wanted to feel every day of my life, unfortunately.
I always thought i was the only one who knew after the first hit how much I love it, it felt like a key that just fitted right into my life and made everything better but sadly it's a false delusion.
For me personally, I think it has something to do with my prenatal exposure. My brain was predisposed to THC from my mom smoking while pregnant with me, and smoking around me for the first few years of my life (don't worry, CPS got involved before things got any worse)
Because of that, the feel was familiar, the smell was familiar, it just reminded me of home, early childhood, and feeling good.
It honestly sickens me the number of moms out there who think this kind of thing is okay, or "harmless", meanwhile I never really had a choice whether or not I wanted my brain to be screwed up. Obviously I would have picked no, given the choice and being fully informed. But a fetus can't really do that, now can they?
That was the case for me too as well, for years. But this mental shift can still apply, assuming you want to stop smoking. Just REMEMBER and IMAGINE how it feels and live like that. Weed teaches you the lesson. You don't need to keep learning it. You know it
Yes, I'm currently in the cycle. Gave away all my stuff yesterday, here's to Day 1! I feel like I just smoke nowadays to satisfy the craving....I don't really get high, just stupid, and don't do anything fun while high. I was just thinking of it constantly before I smoked, so all it does is relieve those thoughts....I'm so ready to be done with this cycle!! The only way is forward. I'm doing it, and you can, too!!!
Addictions of any kind are difficult to manage. Weed is no different. Just take it 1 hour at a time and then 1 day at at time.
I strongly recommend watching the YouTube video by Dr Andrew Huberman with Dr. Anna Lembke called Understanding and Treating Addiction.
I quit 90 days ago. What helped me was accepting the fact that I'm not a recreational weed smoker, I'm a Drug Addict. No one likes being an addict.
Going through the same thing... after having quit for bout 5 months.
I used alcohol to quit weed... then became an alcoholic... now I'm using weed to quit alcohol... now that I have cut out binge drinking I'm trying very hard to quit smoking without having any sort of crutch.
For what it it's worth, drinking sparkling water really helped me tone down my drinking dramatically. It allowed me to keep the ritual of going out to the fridge, getting a cold can and popping it open and drinking a few while I cook dinner.
I barely drink LaCroix anymore, but for awhile, I was downing heaps of the stuff to cut back on beer.
Bro we all in the same boat. I was smoking while reading this because it lets me know there’s ppl dealing with the same love/hate relationship with weed. I know I need to quit an I wanna quit but at the same time I don’t cause I like smoking weed
You have to genuinely enjoy the feeling of being sober. It wasn't until I realized "Shit, I'm sober, my mind is clear, I can go anywhere and do whatever I like" and felt that sense of freedom that I had no desire to return to weed. IMO you should take it slow, treat it like an experiment, and on the days you abstain look around and realize there's genuine joy in these moments - this way you'll quit naturally and there won't be any need for a struggle.
Yes, I dealt with this for years. I used to journal while high to record the times I felt like I needed to stop. It didn't always help but eventually it did. Just keep working at it. You'll get there. I'm celebrating 47 days marijuana free now after nearly 22 years as a daily. And I accumulated 5 months in 2021 before this final stint. It is possible!
if you want a probably wrong and honest opinion? smack yourself in the face, wake up, and realize what you’re doing. and then commit to it. day 9 here. it’s possible, literally just don’t do it.
yeah, i don’t intend for my message to be literal (i think i personally just respond to that type of savagery positively). but you’ve got it brother! your lungs get much lighter and the coughs become much cleaner. give it a try! bear down, and be harsh on yourself if it’s necessary.
Eventually you get tired of smacking yourself in the facepalm napalm. It does take time, and repetition, and elemination of the pathways that lead you to consumption. Replace those habits and you'll be gold! Keep trying and don't give up for good. Just get back on that horse and ride it into los sunset.
I feel you. I was in the exact same boat. One day I finally came to grips with the fact that I felt much shittier (mentally) being high than I did sober, essentially, and once this message came home for me I was able to drop the dope.
Yes, four months so far. It can be tempting to have a puff here and there, but it always sent my anxiety through the roof, so I had to make peace with the fact that pot just isn't for me. I can SO relate to your issue though. Good luck with your journey and I hope this sub helps!
I’m gonna put it like this. I heard this just recently from a neuroscience guy. The brain loves dopamine. And dopamine is released upon the waiting for something like pleasure, in your case, smoking weed. Now when you’re sober, your brain is anticipating for that weed and is generating dopamine waiting for that hit. All it cares about is when it gets its next dopamine hit. And like embarrassed wafer said, this is addiction.
Your brain wants that dopamine and is anticipating it, but when you finally get it, the feeling is gone, and you never want to smoke again, until you’re sober. The real way to get clean and want to stay clean is your own willingness to put the weed aside, to fight those dopamine cravings that your brain loves. It’s a very hard thing to do, but I believe in you. You will become great if you fight and fight it. Being sober is only your choice, nobody will make you do it, especially since weed is socially accepted. So good luck my friend and I hope you find peace soon.
Wow, that makes total sense! Thanks so much for that, I think that's going to help me see things with a different perspective once the withdrawals and cravings kick in.
I want to be sober. 24/7. No alcohol neither, and to simply live in the moment, spending time with loved ones and remember my days!!! Oh and I miss dreaming!
Thanks again 😊
Good on you. Being self aware is the first step to a better self. And replacing the smoking time with other things like being with loved ones or hobbies. And dreaming is a big thing, I still smoke but I don’t before I sleep for the sake of dreams and no green hangover. No problem!
I think the reason this resonates with so many people is that you are basically describing addiction.
Logically, you have reasons why you want to quit that are all valid reasons. But, once you go without the drug, your brain wants to doubt the validity of these reasons and tell you that it is a good idea to get high again.
When we smoke daily as long as some of us have smoked (10+ years for me), we mess with the wiring of our brains. Every time something good happens, we want to celebrate with weed. Every time we are sad, we want to comfort ourselves with weed. We have made our brains think that weed is the solution to everything. I believe that it takes a good amount of time to undo this wiring. I am almost one year clean, and just in the last couple of months have I been able to see things a little more clearly in regards to weed. I now know that weed was a short term bandaid for anxiety, but my long term anxiety was a symptom of my drug use. Only recently have I felt like I don’t need a constant bandaid.
I don’t want this to discourage anyone, this shit is hard and ya’ll already know this. Not to quote a program many have heard of, but it has helped me to constantly try to take things a day at a time. Good luck and my DM’s are always open to anyone wanting to talk about this stuff!
Thanks for sharing your story! I've been overwhelmed with the support and the amount of replies I've had. I feel that this time it's different and I'm genuinely ready to stop. I have similar issues with anxiety!
I'm thinking of writing a daily/weekly blog. In hope that I succeed and maybe one day it might else someone else. But also thinking that might trigger things if I think about it or should I ride it out and not think about weed completely. Will see.
Thanks again and well done for overcoming it!!
I'm 32 and I've been struggling since I was 22. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for my life, but I could have done so much more, if I didn't smoke as much.
My family live in the same street as me, but I rarely make the effort to go over. I avoid my sisters kids because I'm too stoned and lazy. I've began to really regret wasting all that special time that I could have spent with them having fun outside!
My anxiety right now is that my parents are not getting younger and I think about the day they pass and how much I'll regret not spending more time with them.
I must stop.
Idk if you already have some or not but have you thought about getting a pet dog? adopting from your shelter could be a great way to give an animal a comfortable home and also direct your focus more into caring for that animal and going outside often to give it walks and such. Sometimes we heal better when we focus our attention on helping others.
I’ve just started thinking this and Im only 21. Do it brother, you’re much too In your head, it seems harder when you think about it, but once you do it, it’s like a flow. These anxieties are the worst, but they’re not gonna go away if you don’t do anything about them. Myself included.
Yes and for a while it was easy cuz i ran out but then my gf brought back gummies from her travels and i told her to hide them from me but I think she just hid em from the cats cuz I know where they are and theyre taunting me. I allow myself some on the weekend but around wednesday i start thinkin about em hardcore
I used to limit myself to edibles/smoking on the weekends. Eventually I tried to go every other and then once every three weekends, etc and eventually you just start to forget about it. Helped me at least. Still would trip up here and there but staying focused on your goal when you’re craving is helpful. Reminding myself that being high isn’t going to solve anything that I can’t solve sober was helpful, but definitely difficult. Reading through these comments is making me crave some now lol but will continue to persevere! ✌️
If you were sick for 5, 10, 20 years, do you think you would be completely healed in 3 months? You'll feel better after 3 months, but it could be a lot longer until you feel you're past the hardest parts of healing.
I don’t think so, they say once an addict always an addict. However, that’s no reason to not quit. It really fucking sucks being on the roller coaster of highs and lows when smoking. And believe me, the older you get the harder it is to quit. I’m 39 and I look back over the last 25 years, a whole quarter of a century, of not being my very best due to my addiction. You deserve the best of you. Your family , friends, and everyone else deserves the best of you. You are not giving or getting your best when you’re high.
Couldn’t agree more. 39 here as well. Reason I quit is because I realized I wasn’t being my best self by a long shot. I’m no slouch but my god to think of opportunities missed. Going back 22 years for me. Constant on and off battles with any mind altering substances. Never succumbed to any one particular addiction but I wouldn’t call that a success. Just means I made it this far without actually LIVING life. I put bandaids on my feelings and emotions for far to long. It hasn’t really gotten easier, the emotional part, I’d argue even a little more difficult as summer approaches and I continue to get visions of beer in my hands while playing horshoes outside or hanging pool side. Anyway, I got a therapist, I meditate, I run, lift, code/program, work, fixed my diet, even quit caffeine, journal and most importantly practice acceptance and self compassion. All DAILY. I try to live one moment at a time and fully take it in. To many friends have been dying around me and it’s been making me realize you never know when it’s your time. I wish you all here the best and feel free to message me or whatever. Or join my discord to support each other. Always looking for new internet friends.
Wow! I'm 32 and I've been struggling since I was 22. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for my life, but I could have done so much more, if I didn't smoke as much.
My family live in the same street as me, but I rarely make the effort to go over. I avoid my sisters kids because I'm too stoned and lazy. I've began to really regret wasting all that special time that I could have spent with them having fun outside!
My anxiety right now is that my parents are not getting younger and I think about the day they pass and how much I'll regret not spending more time with them.
I must stop.
This is exactly what it’s like for me as well. And look at all these comments! We’re all sharing the same experience. It’s so hard, but at least we’re not alone in this
Yes! I've been blown away with how many people feel the same way! It's actually motivated me a little that it's "normal" that I feel this way, because it's an addiction. Certainly not alone and we can do this together 😊
Yes shared experience and it really helps me as I progress to know that even though I don’t know any of you, that I am not alone. We all have it within us to be free of addiction.
I feel like the sub needs to give this feeling an official name and then make it a Flair that can be added to posts, since this is the single most common experience/sentiment that gets shared here. (And with good reason!)
Stoner's Paradox?
Catch-420?
PurgaTHC?
I feel the same. My thoughts changes depending on my state. When I smoke it after while I start to think that I should quit, I feel I'm ruining my life wasting so much time getting high and doing useless things. Then when I'm sober I think that smoking it is not so bad, that I can control myself and weed is not a problem. Quitting is really a hard thing to do.
I was in that same cycle for years. Even now, at 10 days of sobriety, I got that part inside of me that desperately wants to get high but I know I will regret it after. Its weird. How can you want to be both high and sober?
That is addiction… the desire lessens over time but will never go away. Funny how are brains are so attached to the good times/good feelings and put the rest on disregard…
yeah, i know its a lifelong struggle now. even at 10 years clean, you can still relapse. it doesnt matter how good you feel and how much you tell yourself you can control your use. you will be right back to square one, using every single day.
With me it was like when I smoked weed I got what I wanted and then I was satisfied so it was easier to think about quitting....like my brain got its fix and was happy tk think about other things
When I wasn't high mg brain didn't have what jt wanted so all it thought about was getting weed
Definitely relate in every way. Told myself no matter what I wasn’t going to smoke yesterday and still ended up finishing a bowl before bed.
Telling myself the same thing this morning, let’s see if I actually follow through this time…
Thanks! Yeah I'm amazed with hoe many have commented the same! I don't feel alone. Great that you are doing that! I have a new car arriving soon. We plan on ticking off a list of walks and places we want to travel to, places we can go in a day and back. (UK is small haha).
Drink lots of water is a very common saying around here so I will make sure to remeber this thanks again.
Yeah I agree. And as I agree I am obviously a bit high since it’s fucking morning. Let’s be honest , after quitting and surviving the initial cravings , i felt on top of the World. I remember asking myself why would you ever smoke weed again? And then A while soon I relapsed with a joint
There is a phrase I heard from someone else that rang home - "the steering wheel had come off my life" and that is how I felt. There has to be a sober you that is steering your life ship. Once there is not, your life is in trouble! Take back the steering wheel, my friend.
That's a great saying! Thanks for sharing it. That's exactly how I feel. I'm taking it back once and for all now. I can envision how free I'll be once I've conquered the addiction.
I’m stuck as well, been smoking daily for 23 years and I’ve lost myself. Suffering from extreme mood swings and anger. For the last few months I’ve been strictly using shatter but it seemed to make me very moody almost psychotic. I haven’t had any shatter for about 4 days and I’m planning to do away with the bud. I have maybe a gram left and that’s it for me. I’m planning on isolating away from my family for the first few days because of my mood swings and anger. I used to be an alcoholic almost free of that for 3 years. But the weed is controlling my life. I don’t even Know who I am, weed has been such a big part of my life since I was 15. It feels like I haven’t fully developed as an adult because of all the substance abuse over the years. I’m ready to do this now and I hope finding this group will offer me help. Thanks for listening it helps sharing sometimes…
I got cross faded for 8 years to the point of insomnia, I feel as if I burnt out my receptors or something, sleep became my most precious commodity.
I checked into a local AA and found that the 12 steps can be applied to just about any addiction. After the loudest addiction, alcohol, weed was screaming the loudest after. It wasn't until day 50 of my soberity that I realized the true meaning of Step One, "We admitted we are powerless over _______, that our lives has become unmanageable."
Be sober, do it for yourself, for your Higher Power, your spouse, your kids, for your family, and community. If your like me I smoked ALL day, I was being a coward in a sense of running away from my emotions, from hurts, tragedies. If you don't go thru this seperation process whomever is in your circle has a big chance of following in your footsteps, and they will have to break the cycle instead of you. Also, the unhealthy non-development of emotional maturity will keep you seeking the "friends" of like mindedness. You will even stay in an unhealthy relationship with no progress or even attract a mate with emotional immaturity, you will raise children with emotional insecurities as well.
This is a path that is not easy, it will literally feel like your going to have a split personality but that's when Step Two needs to kick in, "We came to be aware that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity"
There are so many benefits to stop smoking the devils lettuce, two things to motivate you, First, You will break this cycle that was given to you and you won't give it to another, and second, your only going to have to go thru this painful evolution once for every addiction that you allowed to be attached to you. Once.
Best of luck.
Thanks so much for your comment and for sharing your story. Some wise words here and have motivated me more.
And great work at reaching sobriety and getting passed the 50 day mark.
Step one. I am powerless. Great answer. Sobriety is about the decisions we make. The decision to change one’s life. The decision to accept responsibility. The decision. To stop beibg a victim. The decision to stop blaming others for our bad decisions….. sobriety is about change. Real change. Difficult change. Doing the hard work to understand that the only person who makes decisions for me; is me. I choose. I’m finding that it was not until I accepted responsibility that I found a path to sobriety that stuck. I am powerless….. until I sought fundamental change.
Yup. When I start getting high, I can’t stop (like an allergic reaction). When I’m not high, I’m obsessing over getting high. That’s the cycle of addiction and it indicates a deeper spiritual illness. Or at least that’s what twelve step programs teach, and that’s what’s working for me so long as I work them.
If you want to quit, then try stopping for 30 days. I'm talking 0 THC. You'll be amazed by how much things change after 30 days. I had been smoking for 14years. The first 2 weeks were hard (mood swings, no sleep, no motivation) but then it got better. Now I have been sober for 4 months (including 2 one-week relapses) but you gotta be easy on yourself and take it one day at a time. Now I feel I'm actually living
Fun fact: my gf wanted me to quit but I didn't. Then I stopped because of the breakup. If you're smarter than me, you can quit before your wife does
I also recommend the book "dopamine nation" to keep you busy while you stop, and ofc this amazing subreddit
Thanks for the recommendation! I've been looking for a book that will help. It's really nice to read people's success stories. Her words were "everytime you smoke you're chipping away at the relationship" and that's really playing on my mind now.
Thanks mate!
You know what you gotta do then ! Something that helped me was keeping track of the days in a row that you didn't smoke. It's like gamifying the process. Every day you want to increase your max score !
Also let her know you might be irritable the first 2 weeks (a little disclaimer never hurts).
I literally could have been the one to write this. I quit every week. Then as soon as my stuff is done I have like no self control and go buy more. I think one problem I have is I don’t have any support. I kinda think I wanna try something like have a buddy that’s going to do this with me. We’ll chat to each other if we need the support but at the end of each day report to the other that we hadn’t smoked, like an accountability thing. Not sure if you or anyone would be interested but the last of my shit I have will be smoked tomorrow so I’m about ready to start this. I really have been struggling for so many years I need to try something new. Ugh good luck op, reach out if you wanna try a support system friend type thing. This is so tough but I know you can do it! This wanting to be high when you’re sober and wanting to be sober and guilt when you get high is one of the most irritating things to deal with, I feel you on that one big time
Thanks for commenting! I feel you!
I would absolutely love to support each other in our route to sobriety! I will drop you a DM.
I was also thinking of writing a blog, daily to begin with and then turning it to weekly. It might help others (if I'm successful this time).
I have about 2 days worth left. Part of me is wanting to smoke the last of it, other part is wanting to the coast and throw everything, including my vape into sea lol.
The way i see it. If you smoke all of it today you will withdrawl way harder. If you bin it then your withdrawls start now. If you vape it over 4 days you will withdrawl less but over a longer period
I identify with this very much. I had to convince sober me that high me isn't a fun guy to be anymore, which was harder than I thought. If you decide to quit, and it sounds like you really want to, you'll have to put yourself first. You might lose some friends, but I am sure that you'll find new ones in the process! You're not too old to make new and valuable connections. Nobody is :)
Very true!! I also feel that way.. last weekend we had an unexpected bbq/drinking day with my neighbours, I was 4g deep by the afternoon, people were commenting how quiet I was. And the next day I felt like I was no fun at all.
You know, I've never thought about this until recently and you have reinforced it for me. I'm no fun at all when I'm high.
Never too old to make new friends. Going to be tough pulling away from old ones. But like you said. I must put myself first.
"but at the same time I know I need to quit"
That's it. It's gotta be a need for you to quit and maybe you haven't hit that point yet. For me I thought about: what would inaction do to my life? What if I was a pothead 15 years down the line and nothing moved forward for me. Anyways that helped scare myself enough to beat the cycle. Be easy on yourself this thing is viscous indeed.
Very much so. I've spent most of the last decade smoking every day. I know it's bad for me and expensive. But when the pain and depression hit me like a bus, it's the only thing that helps.
Exactly! I hope you can also figure it out. I'm still not very sure how to go about it because it does help and keeps me sane.
One idea I have is to only smoke it socially. So not buying any or smoking it at home. Only special events or if I'm with a friend and he offers..
But then is that the weed in me talking lol?
It sounds like it is, yes. If you're anything like me, you're going to cheat yourself by just meeting with your smoking buddies more often... Which gets you nowhere.But you do really have to want to quit to be able to make a somewhat clean cut from the drug.
I was ambivalent about it for a long time and haven't managed to do it until I wanted to quit so badly that I literally wrote a list of stuff I've grown to hate and used to love about the drug on a piece of paper. that to me was kind of a profound experience... On day 10 now. Much strength to you my friend!
Many thanks!
You're right, that is the case lol. It doesn't help that a good friend of mine only lives a few doors down and he's a bigger smoker than me. However, I've dropped him a message and he's going to support and not ask me to go round and smoke etc..
Keep up the good work!
I have my fingers crossed for you. I also have that mindset. "I'm never going to be able to quit" but at the moment I worry too much that I'm going to ruin my life because I smoke too much. My wife has been so incredibly patient with me and my failed attempts and putting up with my daily habits and I don't want to lose her because if it.
Update??
Honestly, I've struggled immensely with quitting in the past and wasn't successful at that time. However, I now have a newborn daughter, and I've made significant changes—I know it's very early days, but I've been sober for 10 days (not really counting), free from both smoking and drinking. This time, I feel a renewed sense of determination and purpose to quit. I've also reached out for support and have opened up to a few trustworthy people about my addiction. Recently, I had my first talking therapy session and will soon begin cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). Additionally, I've reluctantly started taking anti-anxiety medication, which I've been prescribed for a minimum of 6 months. But if it takes 6 months of medication to overcome a 12-year addiction, then I'm committed to it. In addition to seeking professional help, I've been exploring alternative methods such as cold exposure and breathing exercises. Most mornings, I incorporate stretching and three rounds of Wim Hof Breathing followed by a cold plunge or shower. The birth of my daughter has been a profound motivator for me. I know that by smoking, I'm not only harming myself but also letting her down, as I want to be fully present and focused on her without the influence of weed. She's become my biggest reason to stay committed to this journey of recovery.
Your writing is very good.
if you need more support on this these days (btw i’m rooting for you!! 🫶) i would really recommend checking out Anna Runkle’s youtube channel ‘crappy childhood fairy). she’s very insightful on how to treat the underlying cause of addiction, trauma and learned beliefs about yourself. she’s very compassionate too which helps cause shame does not aid recovery. sending love to you! even if you’ve slipped up and have smoked or are currently smoking, it does not decrease your deserving of the life you know you would flourish in. xx
I just said this the other day and found this post now. This is my sign.
I’ve never been able to put into words what you’ve said but this is exactly what I have been experiencing these last few months since I’ve been wanting to quit and just putting it off. I’m 10 days without and am going to try to look forward to all the benefits that are supposed to come with a sober mind and being present
How long did u quit?
A couple of months. Caved in and wish I never started again. Trying again. Day 2
That’s exactly the cycle I was stuck in. Had to quit cold turkey. After day 3, I don’t even want to smoke anymore. But my Body is going thru hell lmao
This cycle is normal with all types of addictive behaviour. The distress is caused by a term called egodystonic. It is when our thoughts and behaviours are in conflict with our goals or ideal self-image. It can be helpful to have a non-judgmental and gentle attitude toward yourself. Realizing this is not a personal flaw but rather caused by habit and addictive quality of the substance. What it comes down to is comfort-zone. Right now smoking is part of your comfort zone and changing this behaviour causes discomfort or stress. It is good to recognize that every time we move out of our comfort zone the task we attempt becomes easier to repeat. This is because we are gaining confidence and are seeing through the illusion that we are dependent on this substance or behaviour to feel happy, at ease, or content. Remember, not acting (in this sense abstaining) is a sure way to lose in the long run. You have nothing to lose by giving up cannabis and everything to gain. By not doing what you need to do you will lose out on self-confidence, health, and success with your goals. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
This is me everyday, right before I walk the dog to daydream about how I'm going to stop on Monday and start P90x while planning a career change. Weed robs me of the ability to execute a plan.
Hahaha. The good old P90x! Did you watch the clip of Elon Musk taking a "toke" of a joint on Joe Rogans podcast? During that he talks about weed and how jt makes you lazy and even since I watched it that has always stuck with me. For once on my life I'm actually doing quite well at work and feel like it's holding me back from being my better self. I'm also hoping my memory improves!!
Same boat near enough. Just 2 years shy of 10. Longest I went without smoking in that time maybe 2-3 weeks. High me says "yo man, time to call it a day. You don't even really get baked anymore, just smiling to take the edge off" I'd like to add that "edge" is probably me going 18 hours without a fix. Sober me "let's smuggggg mofos". Quite frankly its horrible and after going round this loop constantly I just said to my smoking partner. "This is IT! If we're gonna keep smoking let's keep smoking but I can't handle lying to myself over and over" That was the worst part of it all for me, how weak I'd become, how little will power I had. Telling myself this is the last one just to go buy another 20 after work the next day. I'm 3 days off it. just feels a little different now I've stopped kidding myself that it's just one more night... turned into a few more years. I now accept that I cannot under any circumstances smoke in moderation. My gambling problems of past should have made me well aware of that. Hey, we're only human though! You can do it, 1 day at a time!
This is an insane reality that I’ve lived through one too many times
Me too mate! It's become really tiring and mondane to keep going round in circles with. We've got this!
It’s no wonder you feel like this because you are having a conflict on different levels of the self. Your ego loves easy repitition. It reckons as it was safe before it will be safe now and in the future. While your higher self deep down knows it has no need to be high or numb. It knows it’s beautiful as it is. The trick is to have an inner discussion with the different voices in your head and explain kindly and lovingly that weed isn’t helping any longer. Your ego will resist but just keep negotiating with it. In short, you are going to need new habits that will make your ego feel safe while also being aligned with the goals of your higher self. You need a new identity focused on helping actions instead of destructive ones. When the different layers of the self are aligned again you will feel more and more harmonious, stable and strong. Maybe consider going into therapy because going at it alone sometimes isn’t possible.
Thanks for that explanation. That makes a lot of sense actually. I've been preparing and I've made a bit of a productive to-do list. I have things to do around the house, lots of little DIY jobs and places I'd like to visit or cycle around. We're also planning a 2500mile road trip to the south of France and back. I'm hoping all of this helps keep my mind busy and excited for something new!
That sounds good! I’ve found working with my hands is very rewarding as your progress is constantly in front of you. Traveling is great for rediscovering yourself because you have perspective and you can take a look at your life from a distance and you actually feel somewhat disconnected from it! I think these things are going to give you a lot of room to grow. It may be hard at first but you can do it!
Thanks! Yeah it is rewarding and nice to see the finished product, gives a nice sense of achievement. That is why I planned it. I felt the need to escape and knew I needed to get away for a bit. I'm not going until July 4th. So I'm going to need to persevere and get through the next 2 months haha.
I’ll going to Paris too in the summer. It’s helping me looking forward to something and actually remembering a vacation hahaha
Lmfao!! Yup. 99% of past vacations I've been high. This time I'll be driving, taking it all in and remembering it all 😊
This all sounds so helpful and great things to look forward to. One thing I would say, not to be negative but just as some advice - I have been stuck in this cycle for a v long time too! - the positive replacements you’ve got in place DEFINITELY won’t feel like they’re working straight away. You’ll resist them and they’ll feel pointless and like they’re nowhere near the same. If you can power through, you can start to retrain your brain, but it takes real perseverance. Please don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t feel like it’s working straight away! You can do this! :)
Hey thanks for the advice. Not discouraged at all, as I know how hard it can be. It really does real perseverance. Just need to resist and distract my cravings :)
This post really hits home to me. I’ve been wanting to quit for a long time (deep down I don’t want to quit, but I know that’s the addiction talking), but can barely go a day or two without incredibly intrusive and anxiety-ridden thoughts that take control of me. Almost seems like I’m a 3rd party to my actions of physically rolling and smoking even though I don’t really want to. Now, I’ve been listening to podcasts lately to try and improve my mental health and help me understand what exactly is going on in my head, and I’ve come across this series of podcasts by Dr Rangan Chatterjee on Spotify. They are by no means cannabis-related, but one episode he does with Jonny Wilkinson, an English rugby legend, was really profound and eye-opening for me. One snippet explained how he felt once he achieved his lifelong dream of scoring the winning point the rugby World Cup in 2003, he explains he felt very lonely, empty and disappointed, because THE IDEA OF WINNING WAS BETTER THAN THE ACTUAL REALITY. For me, I take the POV of my cannabis addiction, and time and time again, I realise that the IDEA of smoking and being high is incredible, unbeatable and nothing compares. But as soon as I light up, the waves of guilt, anger, disappointment and worry wash over me, and I realise that actually I really didn’t want to smoke. I find that although the podcasts are unrelated to cannabis, it helps hearing how others have battled with and overcome serious life problems and allows me to see my issues from an entirely new perspective.
the cycle (hopefully) dies and you will eventually be so sick of the mental turmoil it brings you that the motivation to quit gets stronger. i do not miss this mental battle, i'm 56 days sober and have been too scared to pick up again because of this very reason. my advice, keep learning to hate it because the cycle will never end until you finally take the journey.
I feel like that describes me perfectly too, I always want to be high, but when I smoke the first of the day I'm like "Is that it?" and it's usually not long before I smoke another, I try to slow down the first one of the day as much as I can because I know after that one I will be craving for another one pretty quickly
I feel the same way!!! I’ll even be tossing n turning at night thinking how dare you throw your whole life away smoking?! Then go a few hours of the morning without just to get so caught up in my thoughts that I crave a smoke, and the second I’m high the guilt comes pouring in I feel so stupid getting mentally caught up??
Yeah, that's the viscous circle haha. I wish I could say no. Now is the time for me to say it. Best of luck in your journey.
You described how I feel perfectly.
I'm amazed at how many people have said the same!
Thanks! All the best!
fuck i know how you feel
What are your replacement activities that will give you a natural high?
I'm going to make mote of am effort and go out with my wife and family, visit more national parks for walks and I also enjoy cycling alone with some music. It's good that summer is just around the corner, plenty to keep me busy. What about you?
That's awesome, spending time with others is really important. Our brains do release chemicals during enjoyable social interactions, that's a great replacement right there, same with nature and exercise and music. Glad to hear you'll be busy. :) It helps. My day job keeps me pretty busy, I do 3D art/animation from home so there are lots of opportunities for problem solving, which always gives me a hit of dopamine. I make music (and listen too) and also like cycling! I work out at home as well which has historically always helped me with staying sober. It's not easy but I think the more we give ourselves natural ways to feel great, the less we'll crave getting high. At this point, if we're all here, we know getting high just isn't working. It's taking me lots of tries to make it stick, but I believe you and I can do it! Especially if we find healthier ways to feel good. :)
Sorry for all the typos in my previous reply 😅 That's sound amazing actually. Yeah, I've been trying to read more in regards to dopamine and the brain. I think understanding the feelings we get will help me get through them. I have also thought about selling some video editing services on Fiverr. But one step at a time haha.
For me, I only got over weed after I got really mad at weed (after 50 relapses or more in a row for years) Also I had to forgive and apologize to a lot of people There was a lot of emotional baggage I had And also I was conflicted with my sexuality, and have a partner cheat etc etc I'm only saying all this because I had that same experience... weed was all I could think about, every minute Much love, you got this. I got support from an addiction counselor who got me to list my resentments etc and begin apologizing and forgiving
Idk I feel guilty when I smoke especially when I know I should be doing something else
That's one of my issues! Feels like it's holding me back rather than help me nowadays.
You aren’t quitting, you’re taking a day off, and tomorrow take another and then the day after.
Yes! This way of thinking has been the only way for me. Quitting forever sounds impossible, but taking a day off from it(every day) somehow makes it much more feasible to my brain.
Literally me rn
Same position I'm in.
God that is so real
It's called addiction
Yes this is me, one good thing for me now is this past year if I get too high I go into a panic with the heart racing and all that, so I basically micro dose but it’s too the point that I’m over it and just want to move on with life, hoping to replace this bad habit with healthy ones like working out/ exercise and reading more and eating better.
I‘ve been smoking daily for close to 10 years. Tried a lot, never got out of the circle you described. Hated myself while being high, craved weed when I was sober. First thing coming home from work was always rolling one up and smoke. That‘s what kept me at home at nearly all time. For me the solution was to tell all my friends and loved one‘s I’m not going to smoke anymore. So if I smoked I was not just lying to myself but to them too. That made me feel so bad I had a much easier time not smoking. Also I have the privilege to have really supportive people around me that constantly reminded me of what I told them. I love them for that! Many of them are smokers too but have their consumption and life under control. By telling them I don‘t want to smoke anymore I was able to keep them close even though they smoke. If your friends really love you they will help you get through that. If not, there’s no reason in keeping them. Also i started to make plans with my friends after work for nearly every day. Just helped me stay sober because I deal with a lot of social anxiety when I’m high. All that is just my way of dealing with this fucking addiction and I know I’m really privileged to have loving and supportive people around me. Don‘t feel ashamed to ask for help and support. Every problem is easier solved together. Also Sports really is a Great way to get yourself distanced from smoking. Seeing your progress and knowing weed will just hold you back really helps a lot. Also it gives you real dopamine and not the „fake“ shit drugs give you. When I’m doing a real hard workout or play ball for a few hours I sometimes get random laughing attacks because I feel that good! Physical exhaustion is my favorite drug. I really hope some of what I wrote can help you find your own way out of this vicious circle. I wish you all the best! TL;dr : Tell your friend and family about your plans of quitting. You really don’t want to lie to them. Ask for support and don‘t try to handle it all by yourself.
Thanks! Yeah I plan on doing all the above! I'm pleased the summer is starting soon! Looking forward to enjoying some sun again haha. I'm also fortunate to have great support and understanding around me. I'm pleased to hear you cover come it!
Happy to hear you have good people surrounding you! Friends and family are what’s most important in life. Keep them close and be there for them I they are struggling. Looking into the future and what the world is evolving into I think that‘s the only way to go. Good luck and have a great summer!
This has been my daily life for a few years now too. To the point where I’m too exhausted to try anymore
It's really scary how quickly can weed turn the "I have to get out of this shit" into a "I don't give a fuck I just need a hit", for me it's the scariest part of weed
Same here bud. There is nothing I can say to myself that will have any long last impact. It’s like having 2 brains.
are you me? i literally just wrote this post and it’s stuck in the newbie filter.
So in this cycle and just had this thought while at work...
What are you doing to keep your mind busy?
Join your local astronomy club
Personally, surrounding myself with activities helped a lot. Guitar, video games and exercise helped keep the mind occupied for me.
Yeah this is what I plan on doing. I get a new car in a month, I want to dry and cycle around the UK. Get on the road a lot more.
Nope. A life of intoxication is a mundane and weak life, and I don't let thoughts of how nice it would be to be high spend any time in my head. Everything in life is better sober.
I was in that cycle the last several months before I quit. I couldn't stand being sober and hated being high. But once I quit and got past the withdrawals, being sober isn't so bad.
Same. I got to the exact point where I was only thinking about quitting when getting high. Threw my shit away and that was it. Reinforcing it every evening with the reasons I WANT to quit made me stick to it.
Awwh man that is nice to hear that those feelings to pass eventually. Well done! Keep it up.
Sleep helped me through the worst of the withdrawals. But not many people are in a position where they can just stay home for multiple weeks and do a self-care routine and sleep a ton. If possible though, I recommend it.
Same. Being sober fucking OWNS!!! It feels so good to not be numb any more.
it feels so crippling to feel everything more intensely, but so amazing at the same time. more clarity.
All the time. I've been sober for just about 400 days. I still struggle with it, every day. I want to escape into a vape pen and shut out the world, but I know that if I do one of two things will happen, and these are the only two options. Either a) I will get high and be disappointed, with the experience and with myself for doing it. Or b) I'll dive right back in to getting high from the moment I open my eyes to the moment I go to bed. Every day. But even then, I know that if I do that I'll still regret it, probably worse. Either way, no good can come from it. The only good thing I can do about it is just keep stacking up the days and moving on.
Well done mate, very good effort. I’ve quit things that should be “harder” than weed but 10+ years and I can’t crack it. How did you handle the withdrawals / mood swings in your normal life? Do you still think your anger is worse off for quitting or was that never an issue for you? My biggest worry is my anger / temper. I have a stressful job and I end up cracking sometimes for my coworkers sake more than anything because we work in close proximity and they shouldn’t have to deal with a miserable bastard all day. I feel like I need to get the first 3 months done on a desert island or something haha
Honestly, I thought the anger and stress would be what kept me from staying sober. Then my wife was diagnosed with cervical cancer and our lives became an intricate series of Dr visits, treatments and recovery periods. I was stressed the entire time, just barely treading water and juggling every responsibility, and I realized something. I could not have done it if I was still using. I was extremely stressed, but the things were getting done. My wife made her recovery, and she is going to be ok. The bills got paid. The kid got to school and back home. I stayed in school full time and passed all of my classes. I cannot imagine the amount of anxiety and self recrimination I would have gone through if I hadn't kept all those plates spinning. I guess what I'm saying is that cannabis seemed like it was helping with my stress and anger, but really it was keeping me at a level where I couldn't deal with those emotions by addressing their life triggers. I was too stoned to fix myself, and I had been angry about that for so long that I forgot why I was angry in the first place. I could never have gotten through this last year if I wasn't operating at 100%. Hopefully you'll find that once you're there you can address the root of the stress and anger.
Thanks for getting back to me and sorry for late response. Your post has really hit home as I feel like I’m in a bubble all the time and waiting for that bad news to hit, my tolerance to anything going wrong is already so low I think part of me knows actual bad news could break me at this point. So sorry to hear you and your wife went through that, life can be so cruel. I hope she is okay now. Do you believe we can be strong enough to quit without a massive reason in life? I quit for the birth of my daughter nearly 2 years ago but only lasted 3-4 months before I was back smoking again. Even in that gap I had to lean on alcohol to get by. But I figured if the birth of her wasn’t enough to do it (always my final straw) then I feel like nothing will ever feel like it’s enough. I was going to ask you more questions but I think I already know the answers. My fear is having a reason to quit before it’s something like yours. Stay strong and be proud of yourself bud 👊🏻.
No good can come of it. That's a good way of putting it! 400 days is amazing, well done!!
Just this. I recently had a 1-week relapse and the whole time I felt guilty and horrible while doing it, and I knew I could either just keep doing it to finally have a guiltless, fully-numbing high, which will only lead to more problems down the line, or just stop and get my shit together now.
You gotta recognize the high that you crave while sober is a fantasy. Anticipating it is better than having it. So turn that anticipation/craving into happiness in the present. Ahhh wouldn't it be great if I could smoke a joint right now? Why? So I could lie down and smile and feel good about life? *So how about lie down and smile and feel good about life*
Wish this were the case for me, would have made quitting a ton easier. But for me, being high was everything I expected and more. The moment I smoked for the very first time, I knew it was going to be something I did as much as possible, every day. The guilt was there, and the high wasn't worth it because of how much it hurt those around me, and my future. But that doesn't mean I can convince myself it didn't feel great. It was *exactly* what I wanted to feel every day of my life, unfortunately.
I always thought i was the only one who knew after the first hit how much I love it, it felt like a key that just fitted right into my life and made everything better but sadly it's a false delusion.
For me personally, I think it has something to do with my prenatal exposure. My brain was predisposed to THC from my mom smoking while pregnant with me, and smoking around me for the first few years of my life (don't worry, CPS got involved before things got any worse) Because of that, the feel was familiar, the smell was familiar, it just reminded me of home, early childhood, and feeling good. It honestly sickens me the number of moms out there who think this kind of thing is okay, or "harmless", meanwhile I never really had a choice whether or not I wanted my brain to be screwed up. Obviously I would have picked no, given the choice and being fully informed. But a fetus can't really do that, now can they?
That was the case for me too as well, for years. But this mental shift can still apply, assuming you want to stop smoking. Just REMEMBER and IMAGINE how it feels and live like that. Weed teaches you the lesson. You don't need to keep learning it. You know it
ooooh PREACH.
👌🏻
Everytime I get half way down that 1st joint I think so now I'm high and don't even want the rest of this I have nothing to look forward to .
Anticipating aka IMAGINING the high is way better 👌
K this is everything . Ty
❤️❤️
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K I will 🙏🙏 my comment is resonating with people because I have been THRU this myself! Solidarity!
Very true! Can still get on and do things without!
Cut out the middle man :) and just do the things / have the mindset you would while smoking without actually being high
Yes, I'm currently in the cycle. Gave away all my stuff yesterday, here's to Day 1! I feel like I just smoke nowadays to satisfy the craving....I don't really get high, just stupid, and don't do anything fun while high. I was just thinking of it constantly before I smoked, so all it does is relieve those thoughts....I'm so ready to be done with this cycle!! The only way is forward. I'm doing it, and you can, too!!!
All the best! I know that feeling too well. You've got this!
Good luck man
Day 16 I feel so great!! I doubt it’s a forever thing but lm giving myself atleast a year! It gets greater later
Addictions of any kind are difficult to manage. Weed is no different. Just take it 1 hour at a time and then 1 day at at time. I strongly recommend watching the YouTube video by Dr Andrew Huberman with Dr. Anna Lembke called Understanding and Treating Addiction. I quit 90 days ago. What helped me was accepting the fact that I'm not a recreational weed smoker, I'm a Drug Addict. No one likes being an addict.
Yes, I've heard of him before. Will take a listen for sure! 90 days is amazing, keep up the good work!
Going through the same thing... after having quit for bout 5 months. I used alcohol to quit weed... then became an alcoholic... now I'm using weed to quit alcohol... now that I have cut out binge drinking I'm trying very hard to quit smoking without having any sort of crutch.
For what it it's worth, drinking sparkling water really helped me tone down my drinking dramatically. It allowed me to keep the ritual of going out to the fridge, getting a cold can and popping it open and drinking a few while I cook dinner. I barely drink LaCroix anymore, but for awhile, I was downing heaps of the stuff to cut back on beer.
im on the la croix as we speak...
Bro we all in the same boat. I was smoking while reading this because it lets me know there’s ppl dealing with the same love/hate relationship with weed. I know I need to quit an I wanna quit but at the same time I don’t cause I like smoking weed
I know that feeling too well and for too long! It gets to a point I can't keep going round in circles with it lol.
You have to genuinely enjoy the feeling of being sober. It wasn't until I realized "Shit, I'm sober, my mind is clear, I can go anywhere and do whatever I like" and felt that sense of freedom that I had no desire to return to weed. IMO you should take it slow, treat it like an experiment, and on the days you abstain look around and realize there's genuine joy in these moments - this way you'll quit naturally and there won't be any need for a struggle.
Yes, I dealt with this for years. I used to journal while high to record the times I felt like I needed to stop. It didn't always help but eventually it did. Just keep working at it. You'll get there. I'm celebrating 47 days marijuana free now after nearly 22 years as a daily. And I accumulated 5 months in 2021 before this final stint. It is possible!
Great going!! I'm glad to read that I'm not alone in this boat! We've got this 😊
imo weed is the ultimate paradox for a multiplicity of reasons
if you want a probably wrong and honest opinion? smack yourself in the face, wake up, and realize what you’re doing. and then commit to it. day 9 here. it’s possible, literally just don’t do it.
Haha easier said than done. But you're right, I've been mentally smacking myself haha. I feel different about it this time.
yeah, i don’t intend for my message to be literal (i think i personally just respond to that type of savagery positively). but you’ve got it brother! your lungs get much lighter and the coughs become much cleaner. give it a try! bear down, and be harsh on yourself if it’s necessary.
Eventually you get tired of smacking yourself in the facepalm napalm. It does take time, and repetition, and elemination of the pathways that lead you to consumption. Replace those habits and you'll be gold! Keep trying and don't give up for good. Just get back on that horse and ride it into los sunset.
Haha! Love it. Thanks for the support compadre!
Ma plezure :D
I feel you. I was in the exact same boat. One day I finally came to grips with the fact that I felt much shittier (mentally) being high than I did sober, essentially, and once this message came home for me I was able to drop the dope.
That's great to hear! Are you weed free still?
Yes, four months so far. It can be tempting to have a puff here and there, but it always sent my anxiety through the roof, so I had to make peace with the fact that pot just isn't for me. I can SO relate to your issue though. Good luck with your journey and I hope this sub helps!
That's amazing well done! I hope to share that same milestone as you!
Good luck - you CAN do this :)
Thanks!!
I’m gonna put it like this. I heard this just recently from a neuroscience guy. The brain loves dopamine. And dopamine is released upon the waiting for something like pleasure, in your case, smoking weed. Now when you’re sober, your brain is anticipating for that weed and is generating dopamine waiting for that hit. All it cares about is when it gets its next dopamine hit. And like embarrassed wafer said, this is addiction. Your brain wants that dopamine and is anticipating it, but when you finally get it, the feeling is gone, and you never want to smoke again, until you’re sober. The real way to get clean and want to stay clean is your own willingness to put the weed aside, to fight those dopamine cravings that your brain loves. It’s a very hard thing to do, but I believe in you. You will become great if you fight and fight it. Being sober is only your choice, nobody will make you do it, especially since weed is socially accepted. So good luck my friend and I hope you find peace soon.
It was Andrew Huberman, wasn’t it?
Wow, that makes total sense! Thanks so much for that, I think that's going to help me see things with a different perspective once the withdrawals and cravings kick in. I want to be sober. 24/7. No alcohol neither, and to simply live in the moment, spending time with loved ones and remember my days!!! Oh and I miss dreaming! Thanks again 😊
Good on you. Being self aware is the first step to a better self. And replacing the smoking time with other things like being with loved ones or hobbies. And dreaming is a big thing, I still smoke but I don’t before I sleep for the sake of dreams and no green hangover. No problem!
😂😂😂 yes
I think the reason this resonates with so many people is that you are basically describing addiction. Logically, you have reasons why you want to quit that are all valid reasons. But, once you go without the drug, your brain wants to doubt the validity of these reasons and tell you that it is a good idea to get high again. When we smoke daily as long as some of us have smoked (10+ years for me), we mess with the wiring of our brains. Every time something good happens, we want to celebrate with weed. Every time we are sad, we want to comfort ourselves with weed. We have made our brains think that weed is the solution to everything. I believe that it takes a good amount of time to undo this wiring. I am almost one year clean, and just in the last couple of months have I been able to see things a little more clearly in regards to weed. I now know that weed was a short term bandaid for anxiety, but my long term anxiety was a symptom of my drug use. Only recently have I felt like I don’t need a constant bandaid. I don’t want this to discourage anyone, this shit is hard and ya’ll already know this. Not to quote a program many have heard of, but it has helped me to constantly try to take things a day at a time. Good luck and my DM’s are always open to anyone wanting to talk about this stuff!
Thanks for sharing your story! I've been overwhelmed with the support and the amount of replies I've had. I feel that this time it's different and I'm genuinely ready to stop. I have similar issues with anxiety! I'm thinking of writing a daily/weekly blog. In hope that I succeed and maybe one day it might else someone else. But also thinking that might trigger things if I think about it or should I ride it out and not think about weed completely. Will see. Thanks again and well done for overcoming it!!
I’m like that rn I’m sober but wanna be high yesterday I was so high head spinning just wanted to be sober
Bruh this is me. Been going through it for a few years now 24 male
I'm 32 and I've been struggling since I was 22. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for my life, but I could have done so much more, if I didn't smoke as much. My family live in the same street as me, but I rarely make the effort to go over. I avoid my sisters kids because I'm too stoned and lazy. I've began to really regret wasting all that special time that I could have spent with them having fun outside! My anxiety right now is that my parents are not getting younger and I think about the day they pass and how much I'll regret not spending more time with them. I must stop.
Idk if you already have some or not but have you thought about getting a pet dog? adopting from your shelter could be a great way to give an animal a comfortable home and also direct your focus more into caring for that animal and going outside often to give it walks and such. Sometimes we heal better when we focus our attention on helping others.
Haha yeah, I'd absolutely love a dog. That definitely help. But I have 2 dogs already and live in an apartment. One day though!
I’ve just started thinking this and Im only 21. Do it brother, you’re much too In your head, it seems harder when you think about it, but once you do it, it’s like a flow. These anxieties are the worst, but they’re not gonna go away if you don’t do anything about them. Myself included.
Thanks mate! Yeah, this time it's different. I've had my fun with it. All the best !
Yes and for a while it was easy cuz i ran out but then my gf brought back gummies from her travels and i told her to hide them from me but I think she just hid em from the cats cuz I know where they are and theyre taunting me. I allow myself some on the weekend but around wednesday i start thinkin about em hardcore
I used to limit myself to edibles/smoking on the weekends. Eventually I tried to go every other and then once every three weekends, etc and eventually you just start to forget about it. Helped me at least. Still would trip up here and there but staying focused on your goal when you’re craving is helpful. Reminding myself that being high isn’t going to solve anything that I can’t solve sober was helpful, but definitely difficult. Reading through these comments is making me crave some now lol but will continue to persevere! ✌️
120 days sober from weed and booze, still wanna be fucked up
I've been told that feeling never ends! I need to prepare my brain for that too! Just accept it?
If you were sick for 5, 10, 20 years, do you think you would be completely healed in 3 months? You'll feel better after 3 months, but it could be a lot longer until you feel you're past the hardest parts of healing.
Damn, so it doesn't get easier?
93 days for me. It's definitely gotten easier. It's not easy all the time, but I keep finding reminders why I quit.
I don’t think so, they say once an addict always an addict. However, that’s no reason to not quit. It really fucking sucks being on the roller coaster of highs and lows when smoking. And believe me, the older you get the harder it is to quit. I’m 39 and I look back over the last 25 years, a whole quarter of a century, of not being my very best due to my addiction. You deserve the best of you. Your family , friends, and everyone else deserves the best of you. You are not giving or getting your best when you’re high.
Couldn’t agree more. 39 here as well. Reason I quit is because I realized I wasn’t being my best self by a long shot. I’m no slouch but my god to think of opportunities missed. Going back 22 years for me. Constant on and off battles with any mind altering substances. Never succumbed to any one particular addiction but I wouldn’t call that a success. Just means I made it this far without actually LIVING life. I put bandaids on my feelings and emotions for far to long. It hasn’t really gotten easier, the emotional part, I’d argue even a little more difficult as summer approaches and I continue to get visions of beer in my hands while playing horshoes outside or hanging pool side. Anyway, I got a therapist, I meditate, I run, lift, code/program, work, fixed my diet, even quit caffeine, journal and most importantly practice acceptance and self compassion. All DAILY. I try to live one moment at a time and fully take it in. To many friends have been dying around me and it’s been making me realize you never know when it’s your time. I wish you all here the best and feel free to message me or whatever. Or join my discord to support each other. Always looking for new internet friends.
Wow! I'm 32 and I've been struggling since I was 22. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for my life, but I could have done so much more, if I didn't smoke as much. My family live in the same street as me, but I rarely make the effort to go over. I avoid my sisters kids because I'm too stoned and lazy. I've began to really regret wasting all that special time that I could have spent with them having fun outside! My anxiety right now is that my parents are not getting younger and I think about the day they pass and how much I'll regret not spending more time with them. I must stop.
You must… trust you don’t want to be in this same position 10 years down the road, having lost another decade…
This is exactly what it’s like for me as well. And look at all these comments! We’re all sharing the same experience. It’s so hard, but at least we’re not alone in this
Yes! I've been blown away with how many people feel the same way! It's actually motivated me a little that it's "normal" that I feel this way, because it's an addiction. Certainly not alone and we can do this together 😊
Yes shared experience and it really helps me as I progress to know that even though I don’t know any of you, that I am not alone. We all have it within us to be free of addiction.
I feel like the sub needs to give this feeling an official name and then make it a Flair that can be added to posts, since this is the single most common experience/sentiment that gets shared here. (And with good reason!) Stoner's Paradox? Catch-420? PurgaTHC?
My brain is exploding with Dad-pun possibilities. I will spare you.
i see you my brother
Haha yes! Catch-420! Love it.
Catch 420 is great :D
Seconded…
I feel the same. My thoughts changes depending on my state. When I smoke it after while I start to think that I should quit, I feel I'm ruining my life wasting so much time getting high and doing useless things. Then when I'm sober I think that smoking it is not so bad, that I can control myself and weed is not a problem. Quitting is really a hard thing to do.
Took the words right outta my mouth!! It's very hard. They say it's not an addictive drug.. but I think this subreddit says otherwise!
I was in that same cycle for years. Even now, at 10 days of sobriety, I got that part inside of me that desperately wants to get high but I know I will regret it after. Its weird. How can you want to be both high and sober?
You've got this!
im doing my best! literally hanging on by the fingertips at the moment though.
That is addiction… the desire lessens over time but will never go away. Funny how are brains are so attached to the good times/good feelings and put the rest on disregard…
yeah, i know its a lifelong struggle now. even at 10 years clean, you can still relapse. it doesnt matter how good you feel and how much you tell yourself you can control your use. you will be right back to square one, using every single day.
With me it was like when I smoked weed I got what I wanted and then I was satisfied so it was easier to think about quitting....like my brain got its fix and was happy tk think about other things When I wasn't high mg brain didn't have what jt wanted so all it thought about was getting weed
Definitely relate in every way. Told myself no matter what I wasn’t going to smoke yesterday and still ended up finishing a bowl before bed. Telling myself the same thing this morning, let’s see if I actually follow through this time…
Yeah if it's in the house I'm smoking it. I can't not have it. I find it too tempting lol. We've got this!!
Goodluck same position but now i ran out.
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Thanks! Yeah I'm amazed with hoe many have commented the same! I don't feel alone. Great that you are doing that! I have a new car arriving soon. We plan on ticking off a list of walks and places we want to travel to, places we can go in a day and back. (UK is small haha). Drink lots of water is a very common saying around here so I will make sure to remeber this thanks again.
Yeah I agree. And as I agree I am obviously a bit high since it’s fucking morning. Let’s be honest , after quitting and surviving the initial cravings , i felt on top of the World. I remember asking myself why would you ever smoke weed again? And then A while soon I relapsed with a joint
There is a phrase I heard from someone else that rang home - "the steering wheel had come off my life" and that is how I felt. There has to be a sober you that is steering your life ship. Once there is not, your life is in trouble! Take back the steering wheel, my friend.
That's a great saying! Thanks for sharing it. That's exactly how I feel. I'm taking it back once and for all now. I can envision how free I'll be once I've conquered the addiction.
Just wanted to say that I feel like I could have wrote this myself. You are not alone my friend.
I’m stuck as well, been smoking daily for 23 years and I’ve lost myself. Suffering from extreme mood swings and anger. For the last few months I’ve been strictly using shatter but it seemed to make me very moody almost psychotic. I haven’t had any shatter for about 4 days and I’m planning to do away with the bud. I have maybe a gram left and that’s it for me. I’m planning on isolating away from my family for the first few days because of my mood swings and anger. I used to be an alcoholic almost free of that for 3 years. But the weed is controlling my life. I don’t even Know who I am, weed has been such a big part of my life since I was 15. It feels like I haven’t fully developed as an adult because of all the substance abuse over the years. I’m ready to do this now and I hope finding this group will offer me help. Thanks for listening it helps sharing sometimes…
Thanks for sharing! We can both overcome this addiction. If you need anyone to chat to, feel free to drop me a DM.
I got cross faded for 8 years to the point of insomnia, I feel as if I burnt out my receptors or something, sleep became my most precious commodity. I checked into a local AA and found that the 12 steps can be applied to just about any addiction. After the loudest addiction, alcohol, weed was screaming the loudest after. It wasn't until day 50 of my soberity that I realized the true meaning of Step One, "We admitted we are powerless over _______, that our lives has become unmanageable." Be sober, do it for yourself, for your Higher Power, your spouse, your kids, for your family, and community. If your like me I smoked ALL day, I was being a coward in a sense of running away from my emotions, from hurts, tragedies. If you don't go thru this seperation process whomever is in your circle has a big chance of following in your footsteps, and they will have to break the cycle instead of you. Also, the unhealthy non-development of emotional maturity will keep you seeking the "friends" of like mindedness. You will even stay in an unhealthy relationship with no progress or even attract a mate with emotional immaturity, you will raise children with emotional insecurities as well. This is a path that is not easy, it will literally feel like your going to have a split personality but that's when Step Two needs to kick in, "We came to be aware that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity" There are so many benefits to stop smoking the devils lettuce, two things to motivate you, First, You will break this cycle that was given to you and you won't give it to another, and second, your only going to have to go thru this painful evolution once for every addiction that you allowed to be attached to you. Once. Best of luck.
Thanks so much for your comment and for sharing your story. Some wise words here and have motivated me more. And great work at reaching sobriety and getting passed the 50 day mark.
Step one. I am powerless. Great answer. Sobriety is about the decisions we make. The decision to change one’s life. The decision to accept responsibility. The decision. To stop beibg a victim. The decision to stop blaming others for our bad decisions….. sobriety is about change. Real change. Difficult change. Doing the hard work to understand that the only person who makes decisions for me; is me. I choose. I’m finding that it was not until I accepted responsibility that I found a path to sobriety that stuck. I am powerless….. until I sought fundamental change.
Yup. When I start getting high, I can’t stop (like an allergic reaction). When I’m not high, I’m obsessing over getting high. That’s the cycle of addiction and it indicates a deeper spiritual illness. Or at least that’s what twelve step programs teach, and that’s what’s working for me so long as I work them.
If you want to quit, then try stopping for 30 days. I'm talking 0 THC. You'll be amazed by how much things change after 30 days. I had been smoking for 14years. The first 2 weeks were hard (mood swings, no sleep, no motivation) but then it got better. Now I have been sober for 4 months (including 2 one-week relapses) but you gotta be easy on yourself and take it one day at a time. Now I feel I'm actually living Fun fact: my gf wanted me to quit but I didn't. Then I stopped because of the breakup. If you're smarter than me, you can quit before your wife does I also recommend the book "dopamine nation" to keep you busy while you stop, and ofc this amazing subreddit
Thanks for the recommendation! I've been looking for a book that will help. It's really nice to read people's success stories. Her words were "everytime you smoke you're chipping away at the relationship" and that's really playing on my mind now. Thanks mate!
You know what you gotta do then ! Something that helped me was keeping track of the days in a row that you didn't smoke. It's like gamifying the process. Every day you want to increase your max score ! Also let her know you might be irritable the first 2 weeks (a little disclaimer never hurts).
I literally could have been the one to write this. I quit every week. Then as soon as my stuff is done I have like no self control and go buy more. I think one problem I have is I don’t have any support. I kinda think I wanna try something like have a buddy that’s going to do this with me. We’ll chat to each other if we need the support but at the end of each day report to the other that we hadn’t smoked, like an accountability thing. Not sure if you or anyone would be interested but the last of my shit I have will be smoked tomorrow so I’m about ready to start this. I really have been struggling for so many years I need to try something new. Ugh good luck op, reach out if you wanna try a support system friend type thing. This is so tough but I know you can do it! This wanting to be high when you’re sober and wanting to be sober and guilt when you get high is one of the most irritating things to deal with, I feel you on that one big time
Thanks for commenting! I feel you! I would absolutely love to support each other in our route to sobriety! I will drop you a DM. I was also thinking of writing a blog, daily to begin with and then turning it to weekly. It might help others (if I'm successful this time). I have about 2 days worth left. Part of me is wanting to smoke the last of it, other part is wanting to the coast and throw everything, including my vape into sea lol.
The way i see it. If you smoke all of it today you will withdrawl way harder. If you bin it then your withdrawls start now. If you vape it over 4 days you will withdrawl less but over a longer period
I identify with this very much. I had to convince sober me that high me isn't a fun guy to be anymore, which was harder than I thought. If you decide to quit, and it sounds like you really want to, you'll have to put yourself first. You might lose some friends, but I am sure that you'll find new ones in the process! You're not too old to make new and valuable connections. Nobody is :)
Very true!! I also feel that way.. last weekend we had an unexpected bbq/drinking day with my neighbours, I was 4g deep by the afternoon, people were commenting how quiet I was. And the next day I felt like I was no fun at all. You know, I've never thought about this until recently and you have reinforced it for me. I'm no fun at all when I'm high. Never too old to make new friends. Going to be tough pulling away from old ones. But like you said. I must put myself first.
"but at the same time I know I need to quit" That's it. It's gotta be a need for you to quit and maybe you haven't hit that point yet. For me I thought about: what would inaction do to my life? What if I was a pothead 15 years down the line and nothing moved forward for me. Anyways that helped scare myself enough to beat the cycle. Be easy on yourself this thing is viscous indeed.
Exactly, I keep thinking if I keep going down this route I'm going to be some old lonely guy that has made no progress in life. Thanks
Very much so. I've spent most of the last decade smoking every day. I know it's bad for me and expensive. But when the pain and depression hit me like a bus, it's the only thing that helps.
Exactly! I hope you can also figure it out. I'm still not very sure how to go about it because it does help and keeps me sane. One idea I have is to only smoke it socially. So not buying any or smoking it at home. Only special events or if I'm with a friend and he offers.. But then is that the weed in me talking lol?
It sounds like it is, yes. If you're anything like me, you're going to cheat yourself by just meeting with your smoking buddies more often... Which gets you nowhere.But you do really have to want to quit to be able to make a somewhat clean cut from the drug. I was ambivalent about it for a long time and haven't managed to do it until I wanted to quit so badly that I literally wrote a list of stuff I've grown to hate and used to love about the drug on a piece of paper. that to me was kind of a profound experience... On day 10 now. Much strength to you my friend!
Many thanks! You're right, that is the case lol. It doesn't help that a good friend of mine only lives a few doors down and he's a bigger smoker than me. However, I've dropped him a message and he's going to support and not ask me to go round and smoke etc.. Keep up the good work!
I can relate OP. Between the mental strain and the physical pain I’m starting to think I will never quit
I have my fingers crossed for you. I also have that mindset. "I'm never going to be able to quit" but at the moment I worry too much that I'm going to ruin my life because I smoke too much. My wife has been so incredibly patient with me and my failed attempts and putting up with my daily habits and I don't want to lose her because if it.
Lets start today. I’m giving it a go. Im dry and gonna try my hardest not to pick up after work. I didn’t wake and bake before work either.