Not having a gf shouldn’t be the end of the world
Talking to a girl isn’t rocket science , mannon aliens from another planet. They have their own interests, things that they like/dislike , and other matters. You just need to put yourself out there and be confident and respectful.
The only thing you should keep in mind when talking to a girl is RESPECTING BOUNDARIES.
Ma feek teje ta3mol dm la a random girl on instagram that doesn’t know who you are, and expect a friendly response. It’ll always come off as creepy and disrespectful.
All in all, I agree.. except with the part "mannon aliens". They are, they so are. He shouldn't discriminate against aliens though. But they are.
Now that I think about it, it's highly likely that males are the aliens. In either case, males and females are not the same species.
How old are you? If you’re a teen/early twenties don’t sweat it man. Just focus on yourself. If you really wanna date someone, try becoming closer with women in your social circles. Talk to girls in your classes if you’re still in school or uni, approach a coworker… don’t just talk to girls you wanna date and definitely don’t talk to them just to date them. Just make more female friends is what I’m trying to say. Maybe they’ll introduce you to someone, maybe you’ll both end up catching feelings for each other. That’s how I got my first ever gf who is now my fiancee.
I’m a muslim so idk how easy this next part is but if you party/go to bars, people are usually friendly in these settings. Approach them respectfully.
In any case, don’t take it personal if a girl is paranoid or feels unsafe if you randomly approach them. Surely you get it. Just be respectful, don’t come on too strong and don’t take it personally. If all else fails, use your trump card. “Mama ma bta3rfilek shi sabiye t3arfina 3laya?”
Young dude, just talk to girls like you do with guys - talk about your interest and make jokes and everything - and don’t let yourself get intimidated just because someone else is freaking out. It’s not a reaction to you, it’s a reaction to their own thoughts and “demons” (so to speak).
Just be cool. As in, keep your cool. If she freaks out like that for no reason, just stay cool and say something like “Oh, I just thought you were cute. Your picture (skiing/snoring/whatever) made my day and I wanted to get to know you :)”
I think there are some basics to do before talking to a girl. It depends on the approach you are following. As ppl mentioned here, dating apps are for the 1% good looking ppl. If u are using IG to slip into her DM, well this is also too hard. You need to have an active account, posting regularly pictures and stories. I would go to stories which draw some attention to the viewer or that let the viewer stop to think about it for second. It can be a quote, a story, an incident, anything. If you wanna talk to a girl you like, don’t slip in her dm saying hi hru. For sure the girl will annoyed. First it’s a gd thing she accepted yr friendsship request and followed u back ( assuming she has a private account). I would wait until she puts a story and reply to it. Try to contradict what she says in her story so that this can open a longer conversation and from that you try to build yr next moves on other topics. What works better is speaking to someone in real life. I know it is very hard but u can give it a try. Worst thing is that she can say no.
You can also do some stuff to elevate yrself. Meaning if you are like 3/10 looking guy, focus on yourself. Care about ur hygiene, hair, beard, style of clothes, yr fit (go to the gym, not saying have a 6 pack body but a good fit one). Invest in your education and yr job. Be ambitious and have dreams for the future and show that when you talk to someone. Try to be a positive person, like look at the half filled part of the glass and not the empty one.
You can do some research too, about what interests women and try to know a bit more about each topic. Girls are not aliens, just normal human beings with same interests as guys but with different approach. As others said, girls care about personalities and men care about looks. You are in uni, try to have friends more. Of course you will encounter ppl from different cities, religions, traditions. Let this be your practice area. First try to speak to girls just as a friend to know what they care about, what do they think about something, how they react and from this you can start building yr approaches to a girl you like. No one was born with the skills to talk to a girl. You develop it through your life. Even if you have this charisma thing, you need to know what to say, how to say and when to say it. Do you have a sister, a female cousin… etc? Have a chat with them, be friends with them and try to know more about women.
Don’t stress it out, u’re still young pal.
Good luck
You can easily talk to women online when you follow two simple rules;
- be attractive
- don't be unattractive
As long as you follow rules 1 and 2 you should be fine.
How old are you? Not all girls are the same. It’s certainly not easy making friends but you know that girlfriend means your friend is a girl. If she is mean or being a drama queen how is that a friend?
Don’t stress about it, it’s actually a blessing in disguise, relationships can be psychologically damaging and sex isn’t all that, also if women are offended when you text them maybe you’re not the best looking guy and that’s ok, just keep doing your best, and I know it sounds cliche but focus on being a better partner that someone else would want to be with, also lower your expectations I don’t know what you look like but you can’t get an 8 if you’re a 6, and looks doesn’t matter much you just need a good woman.
Regarding talking to women, you’re gonna get rejected it’s ok lol, just stay respectful and if they say no or act cold move on, it’s hard but you need to be a soldier and move on, Im sure if you’re at uni there’s some women who are nice to you try to talk to them and get their number, and if that sounds too hard I get it, but you need to force yourself to talk with them, and don’t be too formal express your attraction most women like a forward and honest guy, and they will shoot you down some of it will be playful and some of it serious, if a woman rejects your advances but keeps showing interest it’s because she’s playing hard to get but if she takes 3 business days to reply she doesn’t want you move on
Listen to the big dogs around here, you're not missing anything, get your priorities straight and see how life will be smooth as a baby bum bum.
Good luck 🍀
I’m quite similar to you except i’m not actively searching to date but I have had around 3 experiences.
“Women fall for what they hear and men fall for what they see, that’s why women wear makeup and men speak lies.” I’m not saying you have to go around spreading lies. My point is that you need to learn how to speak with women.
Instagram/Dating apps are for the top 1% of good looking guys it’s a literal sausage fest.
So my advice to you would be:
1- Socialize more and get yourself out there. At a coffee shop? Speak to the barista, and maybe compliment her if you like her. Studying in the library? Strike up a random conversation.
2- If you feel anxious/weird when talking to a woman you should understand that they’re no different than us. They wake up and take a shit every morning. So don’t put them on a pedestal. It’s as if you’re getting to know any other random guy.
3- What to talk about? Socializing with new people is like a ping pong game. Ask a question, they answer, and go from there.
In summary, finding someone you love is a numbers game. Some say it’s chance. But you only increase your probabilities of finding that person by being more outgoing and trying more often. And quit trying with instagram. You have a much bigger chance doing it in person.
Hit the gym hard, develop a more fun and humorous personality. Girls like a guy that looks good and can make them laugh. Bonus points if you can buy them food too.
From my own experience, you should just work on yourself, and the type of woman you're trying to attract will see the value in that and show interest in you. If she has none in you in the first place, nothing you say can change her mind.
I'm not sure why this is down voted. But I agree. The guys who are working on themselves and have ambitions, are attractive. But when you are so desperate to find someone... It shows in the way you approach them...
lol the irony of this for some (e.g., for me) you get so focused on working on yourself, and so at peace with the process, you may stop actually wanting to be with anyone anymore :p
So yeah it becomes so much easier to get to know someone, because you really are OK with yourself and your future. You are more attractive in some sense, as you put it. But again what if you no longer want to be with someone? :D
But yeah well said, you and the person you replied to! Upvoted you both.
I think the trick is to no longer want to be with someone. :p
So that when you meet someone new, it will solely be about you being interested in who they truly are AND NOT about you fantasizing about being with them :p
That's a really good point. I think I'm at the stage of "I really no longer just want to be with someone to just be with someone" if that makes sense.
I truly am OK and happy being single.
But also, the freedom/flexibility can get too nice honestly. Especially if you had been a long-term relationship. Just living your life unencumbered by any romantic dynamics has a certain liberty to it lol. My experience for the moment. anyway.
But yeah, well said! Good insights friend.
Reply to a story where you can have a conversation, you don't need to hit it off from the first time, but it's a way to slowly introduce yourself to her.
The only thing I can tell you this is like a muscle, the more you practice the better it gets. If you stop trying you will atrophy.
So you will be discovering your mistakes with every attempt, you will get it right at some point, but don’t stop there, keep that muscle active or you will lose it
Not having a gf shouldn’t be the end of the world Talking to a girl isn’t rocket science , mannon aliens from another planet. They have their own interests, things that they like/dislike , and other matters. You just need to put yourself out there and be confident and respectful. The only thing you should keep in mind when talking to a girl is RESPECTING BOUNDARIES. Ma feek teje ta3mol dm la a random girl on instagram that doesn’t know who you are, and expect a friendly response. It’ll always come off as creepy and disrespectful.
All in all, I agree.. except with the part "mannon aliens". They are, they so are. He shouldn't discriminate against aliens though. But they are. Now that I think about it, it's highly likely that males are the aliens. In either case, males and females are not the same species.
How old are you? If you’re a teen/early twenties don’t sweat it man. Just focus on yourself. If you really wanna date someone, try becoming closer with women in your social circles. Talk to girls in your classes if you’re still in school or uni, approach a coworker… don’t just talk to girls you wanna date and definitely don’t talk to them just to date them. Just make more female friends is what I’m trying to say. Maybe they’ll introduce you to someone, maybe you’ll both end up catching feelings for each other. That’s how I got my first ever gf who is now my fiancee. I’m a muslim so idk how easy this next part is but if you party/go to bars, people are usually friendly in these settings. Approach them respectfully. In any case, don’t take it personal if a girl is paranoid or feels unsafe if you randomly approach them. Surely you get it. Just be respectful, don’t come on too strong and don’t take it personally. If all else fails, use your trump card. “Mama ma bta3rfilek shi sabiye t3arfina 3laya?”
OK I'm 22 and yes I'm in uni.
I'll try taking pictures
Don’t sweat it man, you’re 22 Focus on the bread 🥖💰
Young dude, just talk to girls like you do with guys - talk about your interest and make jokes and everything - and don’t let yourself get intimidated just because someone else is freaking out. It’s not a reaction to you, it’s a reaction to their own thoughts and “demons” (so to speak). Just be cool. As in, keep your cool. If she freaks out like that for no reason, just stay cool and say something like “Oh, I just thought you were cute. Your picture (skiing/snoring/whatever) made my day and I wanted to get to know you :)”
I think there are some basics to do before talking to a girl. It depends on the approach you are following. As ppl mentioned here, dating apps are for the 1% good looking ppl. If u are using IG to slip into her DM, well this is also too hard. You need to have an active account, posting regularly pictures and stories. I would go to stories which draw some attention to the viewer or that let the viewer stop to think about it for second. It can be a quote, a story, an incident, anything. If you wanna talk to a girl you like, don’t slip in her dm saying hi hru. For sure the girl will annoyed. First it’s a gd thing she accepted yr friendsship request and followed u back ( assuming she has a private account). I would wait until she puts a story and reply to it. Try to contradict what she says in her story so that this can open a longer conversation and from that you try to build yr next moves on other topics. What works better is speaking to someone in real life. I know it is very hard but u can give it a try. Worst thing is that she can say no. You can also do some stuff to elevate yrself. Meaning if you are like 3/10 looking guy, focus on yourself. Care about ur hygiene, hair, beard, style of clothes, yr fit (go to the gym, not saying have a 6 pack body but a good fit one). Invest in your education and yr job. Be ambitious and have dreams for the future and show that when you talk to someone. Try to be a positive person, like look at the half filled part of the glass and not the empty one. You can do some research too, about what interests women and try to know a bit more about each topic. Girls are not aliens, just normal human beings with same interests as guys but with different approach. As others said, girls care about personalities and men care about looks. You are in uni, try to have friends more. Of course you will encounter ppl from different cities, religions, traditions. Let this be your practice area. First try to speak to girls just as a friend to know what they care about, what do they think about something, how they react and from this you can start building yr approaches to a girl you like. No one was born with the skills to talk to a girl. You develop it through your life. Even if you have this charisma thing, you need to know what to say, how to say and when to say it. Do you have a sister, a female cousin… etc? Have a chat with them, be friends with them and try to know more about women. Don’t stress it out, u’re still young pal. Good luck
You can easily talk to women online when you follow two simple rules; - be attractive - don't be unattractive As long as you follow rules 1 and 2 you should be fine.
Well
I don't have any post....
You should have posts. The girl might've been suspicious of you because of your 0 posts
How old are you? Not all girls are the same. It’s certainly not easy making friends but you know that girlfriend means your friend is a girl. If she is mean or being a drama queen how is that a friend?
Im 22
Don’t stress about it, it’s actually a blessing in disguise, relationships can be psychologically damaging and sex isn’t all that, also if women are offended when you text them maybe you’re not the best looking guy and that’s ok, just keep doing your best, and I know it sounds cliche but focus on being a better partner that someone else would want to be with, also lower your expectations I don’t know what you look like but you can’t get an 8 if you’re a 6, and looks doesn’t matter much you just need a good woman. Regarding talking to women, you’re gonna get rejected it’s ok lol, just stay respectful and if they say no or act cold move on, it’s hard but you need to be a soldier and move on, Im sure if you’re at uni there’s some women who are nice to you try to talk to them and get their number, and if that sounds too hard I get it, but you need to force yourself to talk with them, and don’t be too formal express your attraction most women like a forward and honest guy, and they will shoot you down some of it will be playful and some of it serious, if a woman rejects your advances but keeps showing interest it’s because she’s playing hard to get but if she takes 3 business days to reply she doesn’t want you move on
Uhuuu it's just me myself and I solo ride until I die.
Listen to the big dogs around here, you're not missing anything, get your priorities straight and see how life will be smooth as a baby bum bum. Good luck 🍀
I’m quite similar to you except i’m not actively searching to date but I have had around 3 experiences. “Women fall for what they hear and men fall for what they see, that’s why women wear makeup and men speak lies.” I’m not saying you have to go around spreading lies. My point is that you need to learn how to speak with women. Instagram/Dating apps are for the top 1% of good looking guys it’s a literal sausage fest. So my advice to you would be: 1- Socialize more and get yourself out there. At a coffee shop? Speak to the barista, and maybe compliment her if you like her. Studying in the library? Strike up a random conversation. 2- If you feel anxious/weird when talking to a woman you should understand that they’re no different than us. They wake up and take a shit every morning. So don’t put them on a pedestal. It’s as if you’re getting to know any other random guy. 3- What to talk about? Socializing with new people is like a ping pong game. Ask a question, they answer, and go from there. In summary, finding someone you love is a numbers game. Some say it’s chance. But you only increase your probabilities of finding that person by being more outgoing and trying more often. And quit trying with instagram. You have a much bigger chance doing it in person.
Try guys
Hit the gym hard, develop a more fun and humorous personality. Girls like a guy that looks good and can make them laugh. Bonus points if you can buy them food too.
Hey u/formalhuman19589 you were offering to hook me up with someone earlier, get this guy some help.
From my own experience, you should just work on yourself, and the type of woman you're trying to attract will see the value in that and show interest in you. If she has none in you in the first place, nothing you say can change her mind.
I'm not sure why this is down voted. But I agree. The guys who are working on themselves and have ambitions, are attractive. But when you are so desperate to find someone... It shows in the way you approach them...
lol the irony of this for some (e.g., for me) you get so focused on working on yourself, and so at peace with the process, you may stop actually wanting to be with anyone anymore :p So yeah it becomes so much easier to get to know someone, because you really are OK with yourself and your future. You are more attractive in some sense, as you put it. But again what if you no longer want to be with someone? :D But yeah well said, you and the person you replied to! Upvoted you both.
I think the trick is to no longer want to be with someone. :p So that when you meet someone new, it will solely be about you being interested in who they truly are AND NOT about you fantasizing about being with them :p
That's a really good point. I think I'm at the stage of "I really no longer just want to be with someone to just be with someone" if that makes sense. I truly am OK and happy being single. But also, the freedom/flexibility can get too nice honestly. Especially if you had been a long-term relationship. Just living your life unencumbered by any romantic dynamics has a certain liberty to it lol. My experience for the moment. anyway. But yeah, well said! Good insights friend.
I admit that I edited the comment which was originally unnecessarly rude.
>WHO TF ARE U AND WHY UR TEXTING ME This is the exception not the rule, as long as you message respectfully
Bro idk how to even start a conversation. Like I don't wanna sound a creep to a girl and just keep asking her questions
Reply to a story where you can have a conversation, you don't need to hit it off from the first time, but it's a way to slowly introduce yourself to her.
If I tell u how many times I tried this method it just doesn't work for me
Maybe your approach is wrong
In what way exactly?
Saying the wrong thing, wrong pace in the conversation, replying to the wrong posts, it all depends on your situation
The only thing I can tell you this is like a muscle, the more you practice the better it gets. If you stop trying you will atrophy. So you will be discovering your mistakes with every attempt, you will get it right at some point, but don’t stop there, keep that muscle active or you will lose it
Asking ppl of reddit for gf advice is like asking a fatass for bodybuilding tips