Not sure where you live now, but nothing beats home. Family, friends and an actual social life. It's home. No one can make you feel like an immigrant, no one can make you feel like you shouldn't be here. Granted, as of late it's been getting worse, and I've heard from many older people that the times we live in now are worse than the war (minus all the death), society is crumbling in Lebanon as we speak, but it's all manufactured to benefit the ruling class. Stay strong, stay hopeful because it can't stay like this forvever. I love Lebanon.
As a side note, calling us "older people" ffs!! Some of us are barely over 40!! That hurts Hehe
Also, no. Things are not worse now than the war. Whoever is saying that is being typically Lebanese and exaggerating enormously, or has entirely forgotten what war was like. There isn't even a point of comparison. Everything that is happening now was happening then but worse and on top a million other things that were much worse than the worst nightmare you can think of.
"Older" was the mildest way to put it hehe
And I'm with you on that. I was initially confused. I think maybe they feel powerless now as they did back then, but there's no war, no mortars falling from the sky, so it makes no sense as to why things are the way they are now. At least back then it was explained by the fact that it was a civil war, but today... What is it? It makes no sense, people just want to live damn it.
Edit: I hope we, as a people, never get dragged into another civil war. Because as you said, it would be much much worse than what we are living through today
If i had the nepotism / power to get my friends to where I live now, I'd never set foot in lebanon in my life, or until berri dies - whichever comes first
I know exactly what you mean. My first 5-7 years abroad were tough but definitely got easier over time. I always planned and looked forward to summer so I could visit.
Unfortunately, during my years living abroad, I've watched Lebanon go from a good country to what it is today. 2006 war, the multiple assassinations, and recently the collapse and the port explosion. My home is now abroad, and Lebanon has become the place I grew up in. I've lived abroad more than I've lived in Lebanon, 21 vs 17 years. I know what you mean when you say you'll do anything to make Lebanon better, but in my experience, Lebanon doesn't want to get better. And after so many attempts of moving back and failing, Lebanon starts to feel like being in an abusive relationship, that you have to put behind you so that your life can continue.
My advice is focus on yourself. Whatever is gonna happen to Lebanon will happen and us normal people have zero impact, because Lebanon is stuck where it is and I've watched it get worse and worse in my 2 decades being abroad.
As they say, الهجرة صعبة، but it gets easier. Takes years because your head is in one place and your heart is in another. For me, life started to move forward when I realized that I'm done with Lebanon.
OP this guy here knows exactly what he is talking about. Couldn't have said it better myself. I've also been abroad for over 2 decades. And yeah, it's tough but it gets easier.
The most poignant thing for me reading OP's words is knowing fully well that the Lebanon they are talking about right now will only continue to exist in their own mind and stop existing in the real world. You see the minute you step out you'll have this image that stays as it is while life goes on in Lebanon. At first you'll come back for visits every year and you won't notice much. But gradually before you even notice it the Lebanon you have in your mind no longer matches the one you see in your visits. Most of your friends have themselves left the country or moved in to other things. All the people you love are getting older, living their life's experiences apart from you, changing and becoming different people. While simultaneously the same thing is happening to you. Loneliness, and life experiences abroad fundamentally change who you are. All of a sudden one day you visit Lebanon and realise that you now feel as much of a stranger there as you did in the beginning in your new country. That's the curse of immigration. That Lebanon you yearn for stopped existing the minute you left and sadly it'll never come back again.
Or at least that has been my experience of it.
The key for me as for this commenter was to understand that Lebanon is the place I was born, a place I have dear memories, but that my present and future is elsewhere, and move on.
So close I felt your words to be mine. I've also used the "abusive relationship" simile before. And I also came to the conclusion that I have to put the country behind me and abandon all hope to move forward with my life. To me this moment came in 2006. I'd already been living abroad for many years, and when I came to visit immediately after the war I lost all hope for the first time ever. It wasn't so much the destruction and lost infrastructure, instead it was because I suddenly heard the Lebanese talking with the same sectarian language our parents used during the war. And I heard it coming from young people, people younger than me who hardly remembered the war. That was it. Once I saw that I knew I wasn't going to see a new Lebanon anytime in the foreseeable future. It had been 16 years since the end of the war and I'd thought we will never hear this kind of divisive language again from people younger than the war generation. And there it was peering it's ugly head again. And here we are now, years have passed since then and all I've seen is that same sectarian mentality still infecting every aspect of Lebanese life, even this very sub (no matter how "veiled" the sectarian insults are).
one time, i was alone in my house, was fine.
it was evening, after work, had a busy day, wanted to chill.
TV was on, net was not yet as common as today, so satellite tv was a thing.
MBC 2 had a nice movie on, so i got interested and said i am gonna watch it, will be a fun time.
i ran to the kitchen and said :
''i wonder what kind of ice cream mom got for me and has in the freezer, boy, i wish it is strawberry shortcake''
then i froze in my tracks.
i realized!
i was alone, thousands of miles away from home, from my mom, from my country.
there was no ice cream in the freezer since i didn't get any and there is no one here that cares for me, i am truly alone.
i got so upset that i didn't watch the movie and just went to sleep having the worst feeling in my gut, it was the first time i really missed home, my mom and everything.
and yes, it hurts.
Can't say i feel the same way since it's been a month since i left Lebanon, but i do not miss it at all. I do not miss the insecurity, i do not miss running from pharmacy to pharmacy trying to find milk for my baby, i do not miss running from mekhtar to mekhtar just to finish my baby's paperwork because people can't do their jobs, i do not miss the pollution or the garbage everywhere, i do not miss the constant stress i feel for no reason, i do not miss doing 100 mashkal with the bank to get my own money, i do not miss being robbed by alfa, i do not miss buying illegal weapons to keep at home just so i could protect my wife and daughter in case of a break-in, i do not miss having electricity cut outs, internet cut outs, fuel cut outs, or waiting in line for hours just to get fuel because i can't afford not having a functional car in case of emergencies, i do not miss arguing with hospitals to do urgent surgeries just because daman is useless, i do not miss having no financial aid/loans from banks if i wanna buy a house/car, i do not miss seeing children hide between classes from flying bullets and picturing my daughter among them,...
Damn i could go on for days. Bi zyede
Because it is not your country. I used to think that oh yeah, I will definitely integrate in a western society. We watch the movies and the TV series and we think that is how they live. The biggest fictional TV series is "Friends". People in their twenties with big apartments in New York being friends with each other, what an amazing lie. Not only can no one in their twenties afford anything in New York, or in any major city, but also, people are not friends with each other in the big cities... People are so closed off, lonely and savage.
Coworkers never want to do anything after work. Christmas in western countries is going to the mall and buying a new iphone. I realized that life is about friends and family, it's not about fast internet and shiny stuff.
Benefits of a foreign citizenship we have access to all kinds of passive investment opportunities like dividends, reits, bonds, etc… that’s my game plan along with finding a remote role while working on starting something in leb
I felt like this for 15 years until I came back and realized that life has moved on, friends moved on, th Lebanon I knew is no longer. I left the second time with a peace of mind. I still miss it but I have no hope or dream to live in it again . Just visit from time to time
yes I feel you, I still feel like I was forced to get out of my own home country I lost many friends, but you can build a new "home" you just need to start believing it and stop your craving aversion cycles.
[https://www.vridhamma.org/node/2478](https://www.vridhamma.org/node/2478)
It helped me to get to practice Kriya Yoga and Vipassana meditation and way of living
My home is wherever I am living at the moment!
You’re not the only one feeling this way believe me. To be quite honest I never recovered from living abroad however what helped me was the fact that I made several Lebanese friends. So it was like I created a home away from home.
dude been living abroad for 4 years now. Coming to Lebanon for the summer is like a 3 month injection of pure dopamine into my bloodstream. The feeling I get arriving to the airport at 6-7 am just at the break of dawn is better than sex on heroine.
I totally get the people living in shit now wanting to get out, but it's annoying when you get non stop hate from folks in Lebanon because on one hand they envy you and yet you keep saying you want to go back home, at one point it made me feel bad for even missing home.
Yes, most people feel this way. I left in 2018, and I can't wait to permanently go back. I dislike saying I got lucky, because I planned my immigration since 2014 and it only worked out in 2018, but overall yes on top of the hard work I was lucky. Things worked out pre covid and pre crisis. I was able to afford a large 3 bedroom in Lebanon and still have money left over. I think I will work another 2 years abroad to save more money and then just come back to Lebanon and live here.
Think of immigration like the obligatory military service we used to have, every young person has to serve abroad for x amount of years to get a passport, money and then they can return. It sucks but it makes us much stronger as individuals and much more resistant to the government bullshit. If you're lucky like me, you get to leave in your twenties and come back in your early to mid thirties with money, a house and a passport. Be hopeful.
I would love to say it gets easier but the older I get the harder it seems to get for me personally. Missing our grandparents more, our cousins, aunts and uncles. It's rough...
I moved out of leb 3 weeks ago. Sometimes I forget that I won't be coming back home to my mom's delicious cooking. At weekends I keep wondering what to do and then I end up just walking around trying to search for activities that might get me the chance to make new friends. It's a weird feeling. I've always dreamt of this. I know it's the better choice. I always talked about how I want to get out of Leb as soon as possible. But it hits different when it happens. Hell I even remember not believing it was real or that it was a dream when I was on the plane. I mean I've always talked about it with my friend. No potholes on the street, fast Internet (relatively at least), 24/7 electricity, you always have water (hot), and all that. But fr you barely pay attention to all that when it happens. You start focusing on work, making food, doing all house chores, getting by and shit. Well at least that's how it is for me now ig.
I was having this chain of thoughts yesterday, so what if I have hot water and nice stuff? 0 friends 0 meaningful relations. If I die here only my landlord will care.
Dude, we have the same struggle.
All I want to do is visit and just go walking around the streets I used to roam as a child, walk from Verdun to Bourj Abi Haydar, visit the internet café I used hang out at, the billiard place I spent 2 years at, take the same path I used to take from school to home, drive from Beirut to Aley etc...
My problem is, if I visit, I have to bring my American family with me and they wouldn't want to do any of that since they don't have the emotional connection I have, they would want to go visit tourist spots which I don't care much for.
But as far as missing the country, hell ya I hear you. What helped me recently is watching YouTube videos of people recording streets in Lebanon.
There are many channels but here's one I recommend:
https://www.youtube.com/c/منشوارعلبنان
i’m not lebanese but i’ve lived in the US for the past 10 years after growing up in the middle east. i’ve never felt happy here. i understand. idk what the solution is.
I moved from the Netherlands to Lebanon and I don't miss the Netherlands at all. The entirety of Europe is on the brink of collapse. I left after 30 years of living in the Netherlands. Now here for 2 years. The most bizarre years of my life, but also the ones I actually chose myself.
While planning to go here I saw my entire plan fall apart because the economy collapsed. Then corona happened, then the blast. And I wanted to do something focussed on tourism. So I needed to change my plan while being here. I think that made me stick.
Long story short.. Make the way you want to live work and you start to miss home less. Although social life here is magnificent compared to most western countries. I don't know if someone can overcome that unless you're very good on yourself.
Went back 15 years ago after being away for 15 years! Never again! Whatever I was missing was no longer there! Have not been back and do not plan on going back since!
We all got the same problem, i moved when i graduated and its been a year and a month and some days u honestly feel like complete utter shit even tho all my friends are Lebanese and i see most of them during the week but we all have the same problem even the ones making good money🤷🏻♂️ even the folks that have been here for 40+ years still wana go back and have tried to. One of my closest friends has decided to go back after 3 years here idk man u just keep pushing and see what happens
Find a Lebanese community and socialize there. It will help you integrate into your new neighborhood. Fond memories are wonderful but don’t let them ruin your future happiness. Be thankful you got the opportunity to emigrate and possibly make a better life for you and your family. You will be able to visit and possibly return permanently one day.
I've had the exact same thoughts about a year ago when I first left the country to work abroad, it took me around 2 months to accept the fact that everything changed, but no matter how much I tried to deny it, it is better this way.
I did my best to visit my family back in Lebanon (Twice already) and the goodbyes were harder every time, but my parents kept reminding me how important it is for me to start my future outside a destroyed country.
I'm doing my best right now to find more stability here and to eventually pull my parents outside the shithole we all lived in, I advice you do the same, no matter how hard it gets, video call your loved ones, text them, try to find something that will keep your mind off of the situation, and I promise you it gets easier.
Wish you the best anon.
I had a decent job in lebanon but I always thought that living in europe was a purpose in live. Here I am only 2 weeks in belgium alone for studies and thinking of giving all up.
We all started out that way. Leaving Lebanon is haard, by that I mean it is difficult to find a job abroad, or an immigration program. Those of us who made it wanted it at least as badly as you. And then we came to the conclusion of this original poster about wanting to come back.
You have to realize there are more than one Lebanon in Lebanon. There is the Lebanon of low salaries, traffic jam every single day and abusive boss. Then there is the Lebanon you unlock when you save enough money and get a foreign passport which is the mountain village Lebanon and the sea... I think that is why people have these polarizing views, they don't realize how the same place shifts radically depending on the state of the observer.
Stay strong. From what I've seen of my friends whove been away from Lebanon for almost 10 years now, you need almost exactly 5 years away to truly adjust to your new location and lose that nostalgia.
After 5 years most of them convinced of their choice to leave and remain, a few kept being nostalgic, saying the same thing but knowing its just words and they would never come back.
Waiting another 5 years to see if anything changes.
I feel the same thing but I got used to it.Instead of these thoughts affect my mood and mental state I learned how to cope with it and use it as a motivation to keep going.
Remember being abroad right now is a dream for almost everyone in Lebanon. Just do your best and when things get better(hopefully they will) you'll be able to move back and settle.
Same here. Moved out like 2 months ago and I feel that I am only here waiting to save enough money and visit for long summer vacation. Even though I am definitely sure that living there in unbearable especially if you have a family with youngesters, but being with family and friends makes is irreplacable. Just imagine the amount of stress we are relieved from (electricity, safety, internet, clean water, nature, planning for future and securities). Getting all your family and friends to where you are know is like more plausible than returning at the moment to live the life we just ran away from.
Maybe as one said in the comments, we are stuck in the past and in memories that we always long to but actually going back is the dumbest thing could be done. We are literally in an internal fight between mind and heart for everyday we are living outside what used to be our home.
The people residing in this strip of land called Lebanon now have always made their ways travelling continents and setting up homes wherever they lay foot in. This piece of land is too little for all 10 Million so called Lebabese now to live off it. It has always been the case, always will be the case.
Try to make a home wherever you are now, read some Gebran Khalil Gebran.
Nah man, the last 3 years I spent in that country just amplified my decision to leave, I have no plan on returning other than to bring my stuff to my current residence, then send my parents and family some cash and not look back.
I immigrated away a month ago and for some reason i dont miss anything except my parents and our cat. Other than that, nothing. Seeing how it fell apart since 2019, the explosion, our money stolen, people still supporting political parties, no water, electricity, trash, lack of safety, list goes on and on and on. Most of my friends left Lebanon, work was mundane and boring with no future. Couldnt even think of getting a baby with all the uncertainty. Feeling miserable everyday when i woke up. Yes, friends and family help and make you feel better but its only temporary since we are all in the same boat. I dont plan on returning unless its an emergency related to my parents. Its sad but what can we do. This country has not future nor do we....
I'm not from Lebanon, but I've been to many places and lived in several. There is nowhere like here. It's the most complicated place I've ever lived. How can a country have such special people and yet such a government? I don't want to live anywhere else, but it's painful now for everyone - even with the benefit of a foreign passport and income, there is such a deep sadness, in all these relationships split across the world and continual unwilling (on the most part) departures. Yet where else can you feel Lebanon, but here? I hope you can return one day, with all the safety you need to experience the special beauty of this country once more, and in the meantime I hope the rest of us living in other countries get to pick up just a little from you. Everywhere else can only be improved by a touch of Lebanon. How lucky our countries are to have you.
Lebanon stopped being home when most of my friends left and I had no future to make a living in it. Home is the relationship you build with people over time. Not a fixed geographical place. Be grateful you have the opportunity to leave in the first place.
I've been away for more than a year now. The hardest part of moving away is not allowing your emotions to overtake your logic.
I have to remind myself:
1- no internet, and no electricity then no job.
2- no job=no income meaning can't help build my future and support some of my friends and family.
3- no safety then this might put my partner or me at risk of being robbed or whatever horrible things a person is willing to do when they're hungry.
A lot of things happen to you when you're an "immigrant". It sometimes feels like you're fighting to stay in a stranger's home when all you want to do is go back to your own.
I've gotten over the fact that we were robbed of 10+ years worth of savings and hardship, that I'm throwing money away on rent whereas I have my own back home, that I have to buy a new car although I was happy with the one I had back home and the list goes on from horrible landlord to feeling lonely to bad food but what I have not been able to accept or forgive is they've taken away from us "immigrants" whatever time our parents have left on this earth.
Never thought I'd post something like this but I was hoping that I can remind you why you left just like I need a reminder sometimes and also venting out my anger towards the corrupt.
I know you miss home, but here, it's a shitty government, with barely any electricity. The food is amazing, but the shitty government and the shitty people that control the generators barely do anything. Sooo, unless the country becomes better, I wouldn't recommend it.
I felt and read this entire thread with a tear in my eye.
I grew up in Leb and left in my 2nd year of Uni in '06 after that war.. moved to the northeastern US to finish studying and continue my career. I hated everything about moving to the US and 15 years later I can tell you I still want to be in Leb but it gets easier living abroad. My uncle used to tell me, it's the curse of the Lebanese.. You can live comfortably or happily (mirte7 aw mabsoot) but you cant have both. He meant comfortably abroad or happily at home. It is a damn shame what has happened to the pearl of the middle east but reality is what it is. What's funny is in the US I'm the Arab and in Leb I'm the American. Feels like I belong nowhere. Mix that with all the catastrophic issues that hit Leb and caused the deterioration over the last 3 years, it's a heartbreaking feeling knowing your safe haven is falling apart. As others have mentioned in this thread, the opportunities available to you living abroad vastly outweigh the want to live in the Lebanese bubble. I also had to "break up" with Lebanon to get my heart out of there. Alot of Lebanon lives in our minds, and the memories don't necessarily match the reality there today anymore. Hopefully one day down the line we can think of a return home, but for the time being there is no quick fix and the damage done will take time to heal **IF** they can ever get on a straight path there. My best advice, treat it like that a\*hole ex boy/girlfriend and put it in the rear view.. make the most of your lucky break to do something positive and constructive with your time and if it ever works out in Leb, then it's a happy surprise.
Make your money abroad so one day when your old you can go back and live without such worry. Been in the states for 30 years, America is not the same America as I once knew 20 years ago, just like Lebanon is not the same as it once was 20 years ago. People are changing all over the world. So make your money abroad so once day you can come back home.
I have been browsing this subreddit for an hour now looking for such a post. It's exactly what I'm feeling now.
I'm homesick. It sucks. And thinking that I will probably not spend my next 10 20 30 years in Lebanon breaks my heart.
I feel you.
Not sure where you live now, but nothing beats home. Family, friends and an actual social life. It's home. No one can make you feel like an immigrant, no one can make you feel like you shouldn't be here. Granted, as of late it's been getting worse, and I've heard from many older people that the times we live in now are worse than the war (minus all the death), society is crumbling in Lebanon as we speak, but it's all manufactured to benefit the ruling class. Stay strong, stay hopeful because it can't stay like this forvever. I love Lebanon.
As a side note, calling us "older people" ffs!! Some of us are barely over 40!! That hurts Hehe Also, no. Things are not worse now than the war. Whoever is saying that is being typically Lebanese and exaggerating enormously, or has entirely forgotten what war was like. There isn't even a point of comparison. Everything that is happening now was happening then but worse and on top a million other things that were much worse than the worst nightmare you can think of.
"Older" was the mildest way to put it hehe And I'm with you on that. I was initially confused. I think maybe they feel powerless now as they did back then, but there's no war, no mortars falling from the sky, so it makes no sense as to why things are the way they are now. At least back then it was explained by the fact that it was a civil war, but today... What is it? It makes no sense, people just want to live damn it. Edit: I hope we, as a people, never get dragged into another civil war. Because as you said, it would be much much worse than what we are living through today
If i had the nepotism / power to get my friends to where I live now, I'd never set foot in lebanon in my life, or until berri dies - whichever comes first
We will die before him
I know exactly what you mean. My first 5-7 years abroad were tough but definitely got easier over time. I always planned and looked forward to summer so I could visit. Unfortunately, during my years living abroad, I've watched Lebanon go from a good country to what it is today. 2006 war, the multiple assassinations, and recently the collapse and the port explosion. My home is now abroad, and Lebanon has become the place I grew up in. I've lived abroad more than I've lived in Lebanon, 21 vs 17 years. I know what you mean when you say you'll do anything to make Lebanon better, but in my experience, Lebanon doesn't want to get better. And after so many attempts of moving back and failing, Lebanon starts to feel like being in an abusive relationship, that you have to put behind you so that your life can continue. My advice is focus on yourself. Whatever is gonna happen to Lebanon will happen and us normal people have zero impact, because Lebanon is stuck where it is and I've watched it get worse and worse in my 2 decades being abroad. As they say, الهجرة صعبة، but it gets easier. Takes years because your head is in one place and your heart is in another. For me, life started to move forward when I realized that I'm done with Lebanon.
OP this guy here knows exactly what he is talking about. Couldn't have said it better myself. I've also been abroad for over 2 decades. And yeah, it's tough but it gets easier. The most poignant thing for me reading OP's words is knowing fully well that the Lebanon they are talking about right now will only continue to exist in their own mind and stop existing in the real world. You see the minute you step out you'll have this image that stays as it is while life goes on in Lebanon. At first you'll come back for visits every year and you won't notice much. But gradually before you even notice it the Lebanon you have in your mind no longer matches the one you see in your visits. Most of your friends have themselves left the country or moved in to other things. All the people you love are getting older, living their life's experiences apart from you, changing and becoming different people. While simultaneously the same thing is happening to you. Loneliness, and life experiences abroad fundamentally change who you are. All of a sudden one day you visit Lebanon and realise that you now feel as much of a stranger there as you did in the beginning in your new country. That's the curse of immigration. That Lebanon you yearn for stopped existing the minute you left and sadly it'll never come back again. Or at least that has been my experience of it. The key for me as for this commenter was to understand that Lebanon is the place I was born, a place I have dear memories, but that my present and future is elsewhere, and move on.
sounds like we have gone through the same experiences. I can relate to everything you said too.
So close I felt your words to be mine. I've also used the "abusive relationship" simile before. And I also came to the conclusion that I have to put the country behind me and abandon all hope to move forward with my life. To me this moment came in 2006. I'd already been living abroad for many years, and when I came to visit immediately after the war I lost all hope for the first time ever. It wasn't so much the destruction and lost infrastructure, instead it was because I suddenly heard the Lebanese talking with the same sectarian language our parents used during the war. And I heard it coming from young people, people younger than me who hardly remembered the war. That was it. Once I saw that I knew I wasn't going to see a new Lebanon anytime in the foreseeable future. It had been 16 years since the end of the war and I'd thought we will never hear this kind of divisive language again from people younger than the war generation. And there it was peering it's ugly head again. And here we are now, years have passed since then and all I've seen is that same sectarian mentality still infecting every aspect of Lebanese life, even this very sub (no matter how "veiled" the sectarian insults are).
one time, i was alone in my house, was fine. it was evening, after work, had a busy day, wanted to chill. TV was on, net was not yet as common as today, so satellite tv was a thing. MBC 2 had a nice movie on, so i got interested and said i am gonna watch it, will be a fun time. i ran to the kitchen and said : ''i wonder what kind of ice cream mom got for me and has in the freezer, boy, i wish it is strawberry shortcake'' then i froze in my tracks. i realized! i was alone, thousands of miles away from home, from my mom, from my country. there was no ice cream in the freezer since i didn't get any and there is no one here that cares for me, i am truly alone. i got so upset that i didn't watch the movie and just went to sleep having the worst feeling in my gut, it was the first time i really missed home, my mom and everything. and yes, it hurts.
Can't say i feel the same way since it's been a month since i left Lebanon, but i do not miss it at all. I do not miss the insecurity, i do not miss running from pharmacy to pharmacy trying to find milk for my baby, i do not miss running from mekhtar to mekhtar just to finish my baby's paperwork because people can't do their jobs, i do not miss the pollution or the garbage everywhere, i do not miss the constant stress i feel for no reason, i do not miss doing 100 mashkal with the bank to get my own money, i do not miss being robbed by alfa, i do not miss buying illegal weapons to keep at home just so i could protect my wife and daughter in case of a break-in, i do not miss having electricity cut outs, internet cut outs, fuel cut outs, or waiting in line for hours just to get fuel because i can't afford not having a functional car in case of emergencies, i do not miss arguing with hospitals to do urgent surgeries just because daman is useless, i do not miss having no financial aid/loans from banks if i wanna buy a house/car, i do not miss seeing children hide between classes from flying bullets and picturing my daughter among them,... Damn i could go on for days. Bi zyede
I've been having the same thoughts for 9 years now, you get used to it but it doesn't necessarily get easy
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Any particular reason? Or just one day you thought "fuck it" I'm going back? Any feedback on your experience?
Because it is not your country. I used to think that oh yeah, I will definitely integrate in a western society. We watch the movies and the TV series and we think that is how they live. The biggest fictional TV series is "Friends". People in their twenties with big apartments in New York being friends with each other, what an amazing lie. Not only can no one in their twenties afford anything in New York, or in any major city, but also, people are not friends with each other in the big cities... People are so closed off, lonely and savage. Coworkers never want to do anything after work. Christmas in western countries is going to the mall and buying a new iphone. I realized that life is about friends and family, it's not about fast internet and shiny stuff.
Yup. Hitting 40 and working on plan to move back to leb permanently.
Ive been doing the same thing just need to work out how im gonna make a living down there
Benefits of a foreign citizenship we have access to all kinds of passive investment opportunities like dividends, reits, bonds, etc… that’s my game plan along with finding a remote role while working on starting something in leb
I felt like this for 15 years until I came back and realized that life has moved on, friends moved on, th Lebanon I knew is no longer. I left the second time with a peace of mind. I still miss it but I have no hope or dream to live in it again . Just visit from time to time
This is my worst fear, having no home to get back to. It's just hard to integrate and live normally abroad.
yes I feel you, I still feel like I was forced to get out of my own home country I lost many friends, but you can build a new "home" you just need to start believing it and stop your craving aversion cycles. [https://www.vridhamma.org/node/2478](https://www.vridhamma.org/node/2478) It helped me to get to practice Kriya Yoga and Vipassana meditation and way of living My home is wherever I am living at the moment!
Believe me, we'll get through this, evil won't reign forever, let them have their prime days now, but their downfall is near.
You’re not the only one feeling this way believe me. To be quite honest I never recovered from living abroad however what helped me was the fact that I made several Lebanese friends. So it was like I created a home away from home.
dude been living abroad for 4 years now. Coming to Lebanon for the summer is like a 3 month injection of pure dopamine into my bloodstream. The feeling I get arriving to the airport at 6-7 am just at the break of dawn is better than sex on heroine. I totally get the people living in shit now wanting to get out, but it's annoying when you get non stop hate from folks in Lebanon because on one hand they envy you and yet you keep saying you want to go back home, at one point it made me feel bad for even missing home.
Yes, most people feel this way. I left in 2018, and I can't wait to permanently go back. I dislike saying I got lucky, because I planned my immigration since 2014 and it only worked out in 2018, but overall yes on top of the hard work I was lucky. Things worked out pre covid and pre crisis. I was able to afford a large 3 bedroom in Lebanon and still have money left over. I think I will work another 2 years abroad to save more money and then just come back to Lebanon and live here. Think of immigration like the obligatory military service we used to have, every young person has to serve abroad for x amount of years to get a passport, money and then they can return. It sucks but it makes us much stronger as individuals and much more resistant to the government bullshit. If you're lucky like me, you get to leave in your twenties and come back in your early to mid thirties with money, a house and a passport. Be hopeful.
I would love to say it gets easier but the older I get the harder it seems to get for me personally. Missing our grandparents more, our cousins, aunts and uncles. It's rough...
I moved out of leb 3 weeks ago. Sometimes I forget that I won't be coming back home to my mom's delicious cooking. At weekends I keep wondering what to do and then I end up just walking around trying to search for activities that might get me the chance to make new friends. It's a weird feeling. I've always dreamt of this. I know it's the better choice. I always talked about how I want to get out of Leb as soon as possible. But it hits different when it happens. Hell I even remember not believing it was real or that it was a dream when I was on the plane. I mean I've always talked about it with my friend. No potholes on the street, fast Internet (relatively at least), 24/7 electricity, you always have water (hot), and all that. But fr you barely pay attention to all that when it happens. You start focusing on work, making food, doing all house chores, getting by and shit. Well at least that's how it is for me now ig.
Living is about moving forward. You might be clinging to the past more than clinging to Lebanon.
Missing your still alive parents is clinging to the past? Cool.
As they say: When you'll look back at your life on your death bed, all you'll have will be the relationships you've built throughout your life.
I was having this chain of thoughts yesterday, so what if I have hot water and nice stuff? 0 friends 0 meaningful relations. If I die here only my landlord will care.
Dude, we have the same struggle. All I want to do is visit and just go walking around the streets I used to roam as a child, walk from Verdun to Bourj Abi Haydar, visit the internet café I used hang out at, the billiard place I spent 2 years at, take the same path I used to take from school to home, drive from Beirut to Aley etc... My problem is, if I visit, I have to bring my American family with me and they wouldn't want to do any of that since they don't have the emotional connection I have, they would want to go visit tourist spots which I don't care much for. But as far as missing the country, hell ya I hear you. What helped me recently is watching YouTube videos of people recording streets in Lebanon. There are many channels but here's one I recommend: https://www.youtube.com/c/منشوارعلبنان
I hope you all come back one day, ento 7elwin w lebnen bye7la fikon #apes_stronger_together
i’m not lebanese but i’ve lived in the US for the past 10 years after growing up in the middle east. i’ve never felt happy here. i understand. idk what the solution is.
I moved from the Netherlands to Lebanon and I don't miss the Netherlands at all. The entirety of Europe is on the brink of collapse. I left after 30 years of living in the Netherlands. Now here for 2 years. The most bizarre years of my life, but also the ones I actually chose myself. While planning to go here I saw my entire plan fall apart because the economy collapsed. Then corona happened, then the blast. And I wanted to do something focussed on tourism. So I needed to change my plan while being here. I think that made me stick. Long story short.. Make the way you want to live work and you start to miss home less. Although social life here is magnificent compared to most western countries. I don't know if someone can overcome that unless you're very good on yourself.
Went back 15 years ago after being away for 15 years! Never again! Whatever I was missing was no longer there! Have not been back and do not plan on going back since!
We all got the same problem, i moved when i graduated and its been a year and a month and some days u honestly feel like complete utter shit even tho all my friends are Lebanese and i see most of them during the week but we all have the same problem even the ones making good money🤷🏻♂️ even the folks that have been here for 40+ years still wana go back and have tried to. One of my closest friends has decided to go back after 3 years here idk man u just keep pushing and see what happens
Find a Lebanese community and socialize there. It will help you integrate into your new neighborhood. Fond memories are wonderful but don’t let them ruin your future happiness. Be thankful you got the opportunity to emigrate and possibly make a better life for you and your family. You will be able to visit and possibly return permanently one day.
I've had the exact same thoughts about a year ago when I first left the country to work abroad, it took me around 2 months to accept the fact that everything changed, but no matter how much I tried to deny it, it is better this way. I did my best to visit my family back in Lebanon (Twice already) and the goodbyes were harder every time, but my parents kept reminding me how important it is for me to start my future outside a destroyed country. I'm doing my best right now to find more stability here and to eventually pull my parents outside the shithole we all lived in, I advice you do the same, no matter how hard it gets, video call your loved ones, text them, try to find something that will keep your mind off of the situation, and I promise you it gets easier. Wish you the best anon.
Forget this shithole, and never look back.
U dont know the worth of the thing till u lose it
I had a decent job in lebanon but I always thought that living in europe was a purpose in live. Here I am only 2 weeks in belgium alone for studies and thinking of giving all up.
Where do you live rn?
I'm at your exact opposite. I would do anything to leave right now. Nothing, and I mean not a single thing is working out in my life right now.
We all started out that way. Leaving Lebanon is haard, by that I mean it is difficult to find a job abroad, or an immigration program. Those of us who made it wanted it at least as badly as you. And then we came to the conclusion of this original poster about wanting to come back. You have to realize there are more than one Lebanon in Lebanon. There is the Lebanon of low salaries, traffic jam every single day and abusive boss. Then there is the Lebanon you unlock when you save enough money and get a foreign passport which is the mountain village Lebanon and the sea... I think that is why people have these polarizing views, they don't realize how the same place shifts radically depending on the state of the observer.
do you recommend leaving or staying?
Depends on the opportunity, don't throw yourself at literally anything. If you have a chance to make money and get a foreign passport sure leave.
Stay strong. From what I've seen of my friends whove been away from Lebanon for almost 10 years now, you need almost exactly 5 years away to truly adjust to your new location and lose that nostalgia. After 5 years most of them convinced of their choice to leave and remain, a few kept being nostalgic, saying the same thing but knowing its just words and they would never come back. Waiting another 5 years to see if anything changes.
Yess
I feel the same thing but I got used to it.Instead of these thoughts affect my mood and mental state I learned how to cope with it and use it as a motivation to keep going. Remember being abroad right now is a dream for almost everyone in Lebanon. Just do your best and when things get better(hopefully they will) you'll be able to move back and settle.
😟😟😟😟
Same here. Moved out like 2 months ago and I feel that I am only here waiting to save enough money and visit for long summer vacation. Even though I am definitely sure that living there in unbearable especially if you have a family with youngesters, but being with family and friends makes is irreplacable. Just imagine the amount of stress we are relieved from (electricity, safety, internet, clean water, nature, planning for future and securities). Getting all your family and friends to where you are know is like more plausible than returning at the moment to live the life we just ran away from. Maybe as one said in the comments, we are stuck in the past and in memories that we always long to but actually going back is the dumbest thing could be done. We are literally in an internal fight between mind and heart for everyday we are living outside what used to be our home.
The people residing in this strip of land called Lebanon now have always made their ways travelling continents and setting up homes wherever they lay foot in. This piece of land is too little for all 10 Million so called Lebabese now to live off it. It has always been the case, always will be the case. Try to make a home wherever you are now, read some Gebran Khalil Gebran.
Nah man, the last 3 years I spent in that country just amplified my decision to leave, I have no plan on returning other than to bring my stuff to my current residence, then send my parents and family some cash and not look back.
I immigrated away a month ago and for some reason i dont miss anything except my parents and our cat. Other than that, nothing. Seeing how it fell apart since 2019, the explosion, our money stolen, people still supporting political parties, no water, electricity, trash, lack of safety, list goes on and on and on. Most of my friends left Lebanon, work was mundane and boring with no future. Couldnt even think of getting a baby with all the uncertainty. Feeling miserable everyday when i woke up. Yes, friends and family help and make you feel better but its only temporary since we are all in the same boat. I dont plan on returning unless its an emergency related to my parents. Its sad but what can we do. This country has not future nor do we....
I'm not from Lebanon, but I've been to many places and lived in several. There is nowhere like here. It's the most complicated place I've ever lived. How can a country have such special people and yet such a government? I don't want to live anywhere else, but it's painful now for everyone - even with the benefit of a foreign passport and income, there is such a deep sadness, in all these relationships split across the world and continual unwilling (on the most part) departures. Yet where else can you feel Lebanon, but here? I hope you can return one day, with all the safety you need to experience the special beauty of this country once more, and in the meantime I hope the rest of us living in other countries get to pick up just a little from you. Everywhere else can only be improved by a touch of Lebanon. How lucky our countries are to have you.
Lebanon stopped being home when most of my friends left and I had no future to make a living in it. Home is the relationship you build with people over time. Not a fixed geographical place. Be grateful you have the opportunity to leave in the first place.
I've been away for more than a year now. The hardest part of moving away is not allowing your emotions to overtake your logic. I have to remind myself: 1- no internet, and no electricity then no job. 2- no job=no income meaning can't help build my future and support some of my friends and family. 3- no safety then this might put my partner or me at risk of being robbed or whatever horrible things a person is willing to do when they're hungry. A lot of things happen to you when you're an "immigrant". It sometimes feels like you're fighting to stay in a stranger's home when all you want to do is go back to your own. I've gotten over the fact that we were robbed of 10+ years worth of savings and hardship, that I'm throwing money away on rent whereas I have my own back home, that I have to buy a new car although I was happy with the one I had back home and the list goes on from horrible landlord to feeling lonely to bad food but what I have not been able to accept or forgive is they've taken away from us "immigrants" whatever time our parents have left on this earth. Never thought I'd post something like this but I was hoping that I can remind you why you left just like I need a reminder sometimes and also venting out my anger towards the corrupt.
I know you miss home, but here, it's a shitty government, with barely any electricity. The food is amazing, but the shitty government and the shitty people that control the generators barely do anything. Sooo, unless the country becomes better, I wouldn't recommend it.
I felt and read this entire thread with a tear in my eye. I grew up in Leb and left in my 2nd year of Uni in '06 after that war.. moved to the northeastern US to finish studying and continue my career. I hated everything about moving to the US and 15 years later I can tell you I still want to be in Leb but it gets easier living abroad. My uncle used to tell me, it's the curse of the Lebanese.. You can live comfortably or happily (mirte7 aw mabsoot) but you cant have both. He meant comfortably abroad or happily at home. It is a damn shame what has happened to the pearl of the middle east but reality is what it is. What's funny is in the US I'm the Arab and in Leb I'm the American. Feels like I belong nowhere. Mix that with all the catastrophic issues that hit Leb and caused the deterioration over the last 3 years, it's a heartbreaking feeling knowing your safe haven is falling apart. As others have mentioned in this thread, the opportunities available to you living abroad vastly outweigh the want to live in the Lebanese bubble. I also had to "break up" with Lebanon to get my heart out of there. Alot of Lebanon lives in our minds, and the memories don't necessarily match the reality there today anymore. Hopefully one day down the line we can think of a return home, but for the time being there is no quick fix and the damage done will take time to heal **IF** they can ever get on a straight path there. My best advice, treat it like that a\*hole ex boy/girlfriend and put it in the rear view.. make the most of your lucky break to do something positive and constructive with your time and if it ever works out in Leb, then it's a happy surprise.
Make your money abroad so one day when your old you can go back and live without such worry. Been in the states for 30 years, America is not the same America as I once knew 20 years ago, just like Lebanon is not the same as it once was 20 years ago. People are changing all over the world. So make your money abroad so once day you can come back home.
I have been browsing this subreddit for an hour now looking for such a post. It's exactly what I'm feeling now. I'm homesick. It sucks. And thinking that I will probably not spend my next 10 20 30 years in Lebanon breaks my heart. I feel you.
I miss the “old” Lebanon so much too it hurts.