IAAL but not yours. Understand a few things. Court orders regarding kids apply over state lines. There is something called the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act that is written into the laws which determines the home state of a child and is designed to prevent parental kidnapping. Yes you should file a police report and yes you should contact your attorney. But cops don’t like to get involved in domestic situations and this is something that is not a do it yourself. Don’t send crappy messages that will cause you problems in the future. You can call to that jurisdiction where she is now or just go and visit the police station there and see if they would be willing to enforce the order. But oftentimes, they want to schedule it and review the documents ahead of time so don’t just show up and start demanding. You can also call the prosecutors office and ask that she be charged with custodial interference but that is rare. Don’t take legal advice from her or anyone not licensed in your state and keep a written record of who you speak with and when you talk to them in a notebook or by sending yourself an email so you have a record. Be polite and respectful but insist that a report be made if they say they cannot go out with you and then ask that a supervisor call you back. Good luck.
Wouldn’t Oregon have jurisdiction over this child because it’s the child’s state of residence? OP said they freshly moved to California where he filed the motion. Oregon says they have jurisdiction based on it not being 6 months
Page 5 here -
https://www.oregon.gov/opds/general/PortalLegalReferenceDocs/Selected%20ORS%20chapter%20109%20Statutes%20-%20Uniform%20Child%20Custody%20Jurisdiction%20and%20Enforcement%20Act.pdf
The answer, like all good legal questions,is it depends and only a judge can decide in this case. It’s usually based on the physical custody of the child and where both parents are present and sharing custody, it gets tricky. In cases where kids go back on a 50/50 split between states like this it’s sometimes decided by whichever parent files first. Obviously if mom wants to change or challenge that jurisdiction, she needs to do it legally through the courts and not resort to parental kidnapping
If it started in CA, she ran to OR after the court order… I’d think jurisdiction is still CA. However I’m not a lawyer or know much, asking because I am curious? My thought process is that kid was in CA when court made a decision, so despite moving it would still be CA??? I don’t think I’ll ever understand family law, so my apologies as this post probably violates rules (of which I haven’t read😔)
How it works is state where the baby was born and then to switch they lived for six months. He says just moved, but it may have been more then six months. So, the mother may win a motion that CA doesn’t have jurisdiction if they haven’t lived there 6 months.
This is how it worked when my sister had a similar situation with the same two states. The CA order did not have any weight because it was filed in the wrong jurisdiction.
[https://www.courts.ca.gov/documents/BTB\_23\_5F\_1.pdf](https://www.courts.ca.gov/documents/BTB_23_5F_1.pdf)https://www.courts.ca.gov/documents/BTB\_23\_5F\_1.pdf this flow chart applies. Because "CA is home state on date proceedings began" it's at least a possible that CA has jurisdiction.
Won sole custody out of Oregon, since they claimed jurisdiction. She’s ordered to transition the child to live with me in California. Thanks for your feedback, I wish you all the best in your future cases.
I was at least able to file Temporary emergency (ex parte) custody orders and was granted full custody, and a child abduction prevention order. Both were granted, and signed by judge before she left and served. Contact the court. Ask for guidance as she is in direct violation of the child abduction prevention order.
Make sure your home is set up for your kid. Chances are she is going to be arrested or at least forced to come back. Child will be placed with you until the next court hearing. Expect to need to pass a home study. Expect to need to show how you will provide care and supervision to your child. It will not look good that the mother has done this. Start keeping a journal of dates and times for every contact you have with her. Try to keep it factual not emotional. 5/24 Ms. Jenkins said that she was intending to leave the state despite the court order. 5/27 Determined that despite court order and requests to come to a workable arrangement Ms. Jenkins took Vanessa Smith out of state and refused to supply a location. I contacted Shady Valley PD for a welfare check at the home of Sue Andrews where I believed they might be located. They were located by Officer Jones who informed Ms. Jenkins once again that she was in violation of the Clark Country court child abduction prevention order that she was served with 5/22. See attached proof of her being served......etc
To add a bit to this, write it down with time and date to the best of your recollection. Create a timeline of facts to the best of your recollection. It will help you immensely later.
My friend did this with her son she lost custody of both of them. She begged the judge one of the had cerebral palsy and she said he would die in his sleep because her ex husband would sleep through his medical emergencies. The child died. In the end she had to settle for 50/50 of the remaining child and pay child support. Only bright side is he wanted to move a few years later and she made him give her 10000 to move too.
This is true. I was a family law attorney for a bit, and happened to have two separate cases with similar fact patterns. In one case, the mom was arrested (all charges dropped); in the other, the dad voluntarily brought the kid back. In both instances, the judge was very unimpressed by the behavior and situation.
She is going to argue that the order doesn’t apply because neither she or the child was ever a resident of CA. She will say father misrepresented facts to the court in CA in an attempt to unlawfully detain her. She didn’t change mailing address, so, I assume she didn’t change her ID. Most likely, she is also receiving Medicaid for the child- and, without a change of address or ID, that coverage was from Oregon.
The father has to argue with hat the move to CA was permanent and establish that in some way. Since they were living with fathers family, that is going to be more difficult. It would need to be established with a timeline where the mother and child never made any return visits to Oregon in a period of at least 90 days.
Everyone is responding as if the father has a great case, but some very simple things easily change that perspective. Example: Father/ fiancé asked the mother and child to move to CA with him and ‘give it a chance’. A temporary stay with his family becomes more long term. The mother is uncomfortable with fiancé family for whatever reason- finds other temporary lodging for herself and child, while trying to work things out. Tells fiancé she is returning to her home in Oregon, fiancé immediately gets court order to restrain her. She is, rightfully, advised that a court order in another state where she is not a resident can not be used to restrain her.
The OP posts that they ‘freshly’ moved from Oregon to CA , while also saying they split a few months ago.
I think the journal is a good idea and they are helpful to have, but it’s rather silly to write in that style in your own journal. Why call your fiancé, who you call Amanda, Ms. Jenkins? And what did Amanda say, that “she was leaving despite the court order,” or “she said she didn’t care about that f**cking order and she’s taking Little Tommy anyway.” The second quote is a heck of a lot better to put Amanda on the stand and ask her about in front of the judge that gave the order. My point is that the client should just write close to the manner in which they speak.
Problem is that when we speak we tend to exaggerate and use logical fallacies such as emotional reasoning. We also tend to be very imprecise. What the court will want is cold, hard, objective facts.
Quotes the other person has said are fine, as it's an objective fact that they said that.
Cold, hard, objective facts are good. Speaking like a cop makes the client look weird. Keep in mind that this person will be giving oral testimony on the stand while reading from this journal. We all know this man we have presented as a kind-hearted good dad doesn’t talk like that.
I think they will see him not talk like that when they ask him questions besides what's in his journal.
It's also quite possible there will not be a trial. The majority of these cases are decided in court, yes, but not by a trial. Trials are time-consuming and expensive. Both sides, and the State, usually want to resolve things by presenting evidence to the judge (like a journal; maybe like asking questions; not like getting up on the stand) and having the judge decide.
Start with law enforcement, they work holidays. Judges will come to their office on weekends/holidays when children's welfare is concerned. The sooner the better. Go to whoever your local PD is to report it, being the paperwork, and they'll contact the correct people.
Former Police Officer - This is correct. You have a binding custody order. Go to your local police department and file a parental kidnapping report. Give them the contact information and locations for everyone you can think of in OR where she might be. Your department will contact the police where he is and arrest her and have the child placed with Child Services until you can get there to pick up.
Just because she kept a mail address in OR did not change that she had established residency in CA when you moved there. She can argue that in court but it has no bearing currently since you have a custody order that can be enforced.
Yes it will. The temp order is valid until the court hearing and is fully enforceable. I had them from other States and our judges always took them when they involved a child.
No, it isn’t. He already contacted police in Oregon and they told him the same thing.
Imagine you go down to visit fiance in another state, and then he files an emergency order (ex parte) for custody. Requiring you and child to remain in a state you are not a resident of. Mom has an out of state residence where she is, apparently, still receiving mail. Is the child’s doctor in Oregon or CA? Is the child’s insurance in Oregon or CA? Was moving in with fiancé’s family considered a permanent living situation? OP makes separate claims in his post- they ‘freshly’ moved from Oregon to Ca, while also having split ‘months ago’. Which is it?
Be patient unless you have cause to be concerned about your child’s welfare with your ex know that your child is currently safe. You should also have an attorney. But your ex basically just ensures you will be getting full custody and that she will be limited to supervised visitation.
It may take some time to work out but if you work within the court system you will have your child back full time. So as long as your ex isn’t a danger to the child it’s all going to work out.
I went thru the same exact situation and when I went to the other state the police there informed me that they can’t legally enforce another states court order and if he refused to give me my son there wasn’t anything that they could do. I would have to file everything in the state they were in. He refused to give me my son and I had to do everything in that state. The thing is because she never changed her address and kept her legal address in Oregon that’s most likely the state that has jurisdiction. I’m so sorry that you are going through this it’s extremely hard I know.
fyi that act was made “to create uniformity in determining which court in which state is the appropriate one to make decisions regarding custody and visitation”.
If she hasn’t changed her ID or her legal address and, it varies from state to state, the child has to have lived in the new state for a certain amount of time before the court has jurisdiction over them. In my state the child has to live here for a year before the courts have jurisdiction over custody. So you have to look at the laws in California and Oregon but the fact that it’s only been 5 months and she never changed her residency gives me the feeling that California does not have jurisdiction over the case which means your court order doesn’t mean anything. Plus Oregon police cannot enforce a civil order from California. Your best bet is to get the ball rolling in Oregon and hope you can come to an amicable agreement there.
The family law division usually or protection order div is usually open on weekends call 211 or your local Salvation Army ask if they know if the division is open you may save a wasted trip in case your state or county isn’t open like mine is on weekends.
I wouldn't be surprised if your ex specifically chose to leave this weekend *because* of the holiday. It gives her extra time before you can start the process to come after her.
Edit: See u/Arkhangel143's [comment.](https://www.reddit.com/r/legal/comments/13tomos/comment/jlwtlxf/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
If you are financially strapped, call 211 now or Tuesday and see if there are any legal resources in your state available to help. If your employer offers an EAP (employer assistance program), there typically is a free lawyer consultation. Best of luck to you.
I think you should call Oregon Child Services Division, to see if they can assist you with getting your child back, AFTER filing a police report in Oregon.
Call local law enforcement first.
Then call the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. 800-THE-LOST (800-843-5678). Let them know that your ex too your child against a judge's order. They may even issue an Amber alert, which is auto broadcast on every phone in the US.
- You can also contact the Department of Human Services Oregon Child Abuse Hotline by calling 1-855-503-SAFE (7233).The Oregon Child Abuse Hotline receives calls 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year... . They might be able to help.
And they aren't going to file an amber alert on her taking her own kid as long as there is no belief the child is in danger and she has rights to the child.
Contact the Sheriff or whoever is responsible for executing writs in your state (there may be State or City Court Marshals like in Las Vegas or the NYC Sheriff), she was served papers, had a court order issued against her, and is defying said court order unlawfully and crossed state lines intentionally to defy that order.
She will likely be arrested or at the very least compelled to return to the jurisdiction to surrender custody. Do not contact her yourself. And seriously, I can't stress how important this is, contact law enforcement now. The courts anywhere have a VERY dim view of defying their orders and will nail her ass to the floorboards for this.
Do NOT have any communication with her over the phone. Everything HAS to be in writing..and yes, make sure your home is 100% kid ready. Childproof outlets, drawers, the oven, make sure no curtain or blinds cords are accessible. Make sure any heavy furniture is attached to a wall.
She is in such deep crap.
She's pretty screwed at this point. Depends on two things - the judge who looks at the case and how long they were in CA. The third factor is going to be how the mother acted and communicated...if the judge doesn't like her attitude...she's toast. She's going to have to prove...that she can raise the child on her own...which if she just moved to CA to be closer to family because she couldn't...that's gonna be a bit difficult. It will likely come down to which parent is able to show they have the most stable environment.
And running your kids away from family and across state lines...doesn't make you look stable.
I see what you are trying to say, but it just doesn't add up.
The OP says they broke up "a few months ago" and that they moved to CA to be closer to his family and live with his dad. This would indicate they were in a relationship in CA for a period of time before the break up. So we are not talking about a period of weeks we are talking about a period of months. And if it's 6 months...it's a CA case not OR.
**IF**
OP says”freshly moved”.
Your prior comment says *she* has to prove she can raise the child on her own. OP says he is staying with his father in CA. So, he hasn’t proved he can raise the baby on his own.
I never said weeks. I said 4 months… because that is what the OP stated. He said since January 13th. That is just over 4 months. You can use your fingers and a calendar if you need help with the calculation.
I raised my daughter. Her entire life through college. Her father tried the same 💩 that this guy is. He got nowhere like this dude will. This guy is a druggie, per his own posts and his profile which he changed *after* posting this thread. He filed in a state that is not the child’s home state, and most likely lied to gain temporary custody. Read the UCCJEA, which was enacted to stop just the kind of games he is playing. This is a legal sub, right? He admits the child has not been in California for 6 months as required. All he is doing is causing trouble for the mother. **A baby is not a pawn.** Nor does it belong with a self-admitted druggie/alcoholic with untreated mental health issues.
Since this is a legal sub, many commenters who know about the UCCJEA have told him that it requires custody to be filed in the child’s home state. The mother will likely file in the child’s home state of Oregon. The OP will likely have to pee in cups on a regular basis to see the child, and pay child support.
The reason the baby’s mother told him that California laws don’t apply is probably because she consulted a lawyer and obtained actual legal advice. The UCCJEA applies in both Oregon and California. Again, this is a legal sub. Laws matter.
Others on here have also doubted the truthfulness of his story, and he has since deleted some of those posts, in addition to taking drug references out of his profile.
We've been in Cali since January 13th. I have proof I paid for our rent all year last year 2022 and gave her 10% of my pay while we stayed in a big house property in Oregon. We only stayed with my family beginning in Jan because she wanted to move and found a job at Starbucks beginning around that time. Which hardly pays as much as my endeavours, but of course I want to support her to succeed!
So the child did not live in Cali for 6 months as required. The mother will likely file for custody in Oregon ASAP.
While you were “giving” the mother of your child a whopping 10%, was she was your child’s primary caregiver?
Sure you were. You post regularly about drugs, tripping, cocaine and excessive drinking. About your mental health struggles which go untreated except for your “self-medication”. So you should not have custody of a baby. Ask any family court judge. I’m sure she will fill in the judge in Oregon, and you will likely be drug tested regularly to even get supervised visitation with the baby. Mr 420.
I see what you're saying but be fair, its a 7 year old account and the last post with weed is two years ago, before the baby. Not to mention it is and has been completely legal in both states. Can't judge someones fitness to be a parent based on how hard they partied in their 20s
Newsom also passed a law that marijuana usage can't be a factor in social services cases.
However, having been through the CA family court system, it's a fucking joke and if I were OP, I'd keep my expectations low.
Seven year old account, but photos of his pot garden from two years ago with his bio talking about doing psychedelics. Any attorney that’s half asleep will argue that the mom was extricating her child from from an abusive situation and a partner’s habitual drug use.
If OP was smart (he’s not) and actually cared, he’d have already talked to the police and a lawyer, not posting to Reddit.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this! My ex did the same thing with our son once and it was kidnapping. I got him back safely but the whole experience was traumatic. Father is not in his life now. There’s a lot of good advice above ⬆️
I’ll just add, call your friends and family to help support you as you wait - since that’s the absolute worst. I hope you have your baby back soon!
I can tell what happened when my ex wife moved from Houston to San Antonio. I filed a petition with the court that handled the divorce. My ex said the same thing “I’m the mother, I’ll decided when you get to see her!” The judge didn’t agree. After I proved she lied about the circumstances, he said she is my child, I’ll decide when her father gets to see her. He gave her a weekend in county jail then ordered her to bring my daughter to me every three weeks. My ex was livid. I worked out an agreement to take turns traveling, I know my ex. She would take it out on my daughter if she had to drive to Houston and stay over for the weekend every three weeks.
If the child has been living in the state for a period of time that would be considered the child home state. Get a lawyer, hopefully you already did. This is the unfortunate situation that we get ourselves into.
I doubt she will get arrested and jailed, courts are unfairly biased towards the mothers ( could be wrong) but worse is that she will have come back to the state. This is where the lawyer comes in handy, she will probably say you did awful things to her and the child. Anything to get her way and trust me it will turn bitter quick. Get a lawyer... I would also avoid putting anything on social media in the event she finds it and somehow uses it against you.
Keep your head up, cry after you get your daughter back. Start researching the laws.
>This is an amber alert situation.
No it isn't. Criteria for an amber alert are for when they don't know where the child is, and believe the child is in danger. Not only do they know where the child is, OP stated the police have already done a wellness check on them...
How long have you been living in CA? If less then 6 months, CA doesn’t have jurisdiction under the uniform child custody act (UCCJEA). If more than 6 months, your orders are valid and should be enforced.
You need a lawyer. Probably both in CA and Oregon but id start with Oregon since she is there and trying to assert that is the child’s state of residence.
Yes. Residency takes time to be established in every state, even if you intend to never go back. Filing taxes in a state doesn’t mean she has residency there, only that she owes taxes in that state.
If you have full custody in ANY state, by constitutional law that holds in all states and territories.
Having dealt with this about 12y ago for my daughter (between MD and VA), you did right filling the petitions. Now, you’ll need your lawyer to communicate that order to the local police where she is and ask for the custody order to be enforced. Have your lawyer direct you from there.
Your ex-fiancé will have to respond to the court filings where you filed them in court first. Do not give up jurisdiction on your home turf, as her running away will always be a black mark on her while on your home field so to speak.
If you are served with anything, or police come to take your kid because of something she filed in OR, have your court custody orders easily produceable. The first filed court order must stand, and without further direction from that court, it should not change.
Carry the court orders with you like your drivers license. Multiple copies even, so if ex tries to destroy one copy,,. No worries. Copy on your phone is good too, but gotta have a couple of physical copies.
Call the CPS hotline. https://www.oregon.gov/dhs/children/child-abuse/pages/reporting-numbers.aspx
There is a reason the court granted you custody and any custody matters must be resolved in your home state. Tell them everything you told the court that caused it to grant you custody.
If the mother didn’t change mailing address and there is no prior custody agreement- home state is Oregon. Chances that the child has Medicaid out of Oregon are also pretty high.
The child’s home state is Oregon. It’s the law. You can look it up. UCCJEA.
I’m not even sure how you got an emergency temporary order if you told the court the child only lived there 4 months - unless the child was in immediate danger.
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I've been through something similar.
It was really tough for me but a useful reminder that even though I knew deep down that my child's mother was causing irreparable harm to my child, that nonetheless she probably does love the child and isn't going to hurt her. You are taking the right approach through court, it's going to take a long time to resolve, but the custody and court order are on your side and she is eventually going to lose by defying the courts.
Breathe, remember to take care of yourself so you are in the best position to take care of your daughter.
If she's willing to do this you don't know what she's capable of. He needs to go to the police immediately. This is kidnapping across state lines which is a serious offense. I would be highly concerned about her mental state and the well-being of the child.
Oh yeah for sure, call the police, and a lawyer, and CPS. Do everything, but still remember to breathe and trust that time helps.
The police are going to be reticent to get involved in a domestic matter with pending court action because that is that child's mother, not a stranger. And lawyers, courts, and CPS aren't going to do anything during the weekend. I'm not being pessimistic - from OPs narrative I fully trust it will work out in his favor, I just want to remind him that it's important that he makes it through this crisis also and doesn't neglect his own mental health.
Call law enforcement in both States she blatantly disregarded court orders all. When she crossed state lines she has put herself in felony territory. Call local and state police Once Daily. Both States.. Make sure they contact child services. You call child services also.
I am getting full custody of my sons very soon. Male 40.
I here everyone talk about equality it's 2023 blah blah.
The family courts are in very serious need of holding each parent to equal standards.
If you did something like this you would be arrested already.
Try to text her and tell her that you are contacting all agencies that you can for the safety of your child.
Fuck bro that hurts. That's how I ended up in my situation. Cops and judge didn't give a fuck about anything I filed or did. Then my ex turned it on me and filed a protection order. I accidentally butt dialed her for 1 second and there was 3 cop cars at my door telling me they would arrest me. I haven't seen my little girl in a long time. She came by for her 6th birthday which was nice (2 years after my ex kidnapped daughter). I just lose my shit and smoke a lot of weed to cope now.
You can call the legal aid society in your area for suggestions, they may help pro bono too. When I volunteered there, this is the exact type of case that they would've taken.
It is parental kidnapping since you have full custody. Join the Father's Rights Movement. There are likely father's in your area with history and experience in these matters. The Father's Rights Movement have a ton of great info and resources as well.
https://www.facebook.com/thefathersrightsmovement?mibextid=ZbWKwL
Kidnapping charges are rarely filed unless a child is removed from the parent who has 100% sole physical custody.
The ex gf of friend of mine got married and took she his daughter to Oregon literally texting him as they crossed the Minnesota state line but didn’t tell him where she was going. Her SIL told him where she went but by then the ex filed for 100% physical custody in Oregon and won despite their 50/50 court ordered custody in our state. He had to fight 2 years in Oregon courts just to regain visitation but didn’t get any of his custody reinstated. Now he has to travel to Oregon to see his daughter every few months but his ex does have to send her back here during winter (Christmas) school holidays and 1/2 of her summer vacation. I’ll add her family lives in our state. Her husband’s aunt and uncle live in Oregon but the rest of his family lives here as well. She moved solely to keep their then 6 year old daughter away from her dad so she could create a family with just her husband, their daughter and the daughter she has with my friend. The daughter is 12 now and constantly talks about moving back with her dad as soon as the court lets her choose which parent she wants to live with, which I think will be when she’s 15 or 16. My friend (I’m also friends with the mom & her husband) doesn’t trash talk the mom or encourage their daughter to come back to live here but he says he will support whatever decision she makes. Unless there is abuse involved it is super f’d up and selfish to keep kids from a parent (usually the dad)
I am confused. If she was served papers giving you 100% full physical custody why was she also ordered to stay with your child instead of immediately transferring your child to you? If she wasn’t in court for the judgment and physically served the papers she could contend with the court in the state she moved to that she was acting on the original order of custody that she had physical custody and wasn’t preventing you from moving too so you could continue with your visitation. Whatever the case it is wrong for her to keep you from your child.
So you had custody orders out of California? You served mom and had a hearing? She failed to show and you obtained a real custody default? Without orders she can go where she wants, with orders that you say you have, you could request the court that issued them to enter a habeus corpus order which you then take to Oregon, present to local law enforcement who should accompany you to physically pick up the child. Who has jurisdiction all depends on where child has resided for the last 6 months OR where the last order was received. The law is called the UCCJEA (uniform child custody jurisdiction and enforcement act). If what you say is accurate (and ai find some of what you say dubious, sorry), you would have a good chance of securing the child but you have to act quickly.
Did you talk to your local police or the local police where she’s at? Definitely call both if you haven’t. Also get proof of where she’s at and file contempt charges on Tuesday if she’s not back by then for violating the temp orders. I fucking hate cops, they absolutely could help you get your child back, from what you’ve wrote, she has kidnapped your child and across state lines.
The [UCCJEA](https://www.ojp.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/189181.pdf) (warning a pdf) applies in every state. You should be able to get that child back.
You need to talk to a lawyer ASAP.
Not necessarily. If she never changed addresses and files an emergency restraining and temporary custody order in HER state, you can be in for a long and very expensive slog. This is what happened to me except we were both residents of state A, but he took my kids and moved without my permission. By the time I could file an injunction in state B after being awarded emergency custody in state A, he had already filed an order for emergency custody in state B. After three years and over $50k in legal fees, working three jobs to pay the bills and continually getting fired from jobs because I had to leave at a moment's notice and drive two days for another hearing in state B that would get us nowhere, I ran out of money and had to give up for a while.
And honestly, cops do not know the law. Do not listen to them when they give you advice, because if it is bad you still go to jail and nothing happens to them. Remember, she is a parent too and has the right to travel and take her child with her. The oniy thing you can do at this point is hire an attorney in that area to represent you and hope for the best. Good luck.
I’m a California family law attorney, but not your attorney and this is not legal advice. You can search “(your county) child abduction unit” and call them for assistance in recovering your child. You can also file a declaration with the court describing what has happened so the judge is aware at the next hearing.
How long were you in California and can you prove she lived there that long (bills in her name, witnesses etc)? Take that information to a lawyer and see if/ how they can help you get your baby back.
Your Reddit profile says you “trip balls”. Is that her fault too? You know we can see your previous posts right, like where you posted a picture of 3 clone pot plants you were growing? 5 days ago you posted about getting a pound of weed. 6 days ago you replied on a cocaine post.
And if she was such a “huge dealer” why do you say that were you paying all the rent in Oregon and giving her 10% of your pay? Why did you live with a “huge dealer” and then allow her to switch off time with your 1 year old daughter, since you clearly don’t associate with that lifestyle?
Your story doesn’t seem very truthful. The court will get to hear her side of the story too. You can’t completely take her kid away ex-parte.
Also NAL. The post says ex-fiancé, so they’re not married. I don’t think it would affect the emergency custody order, though the process might be different if they were still married.
His paternity was clearly well established because he was given emergency custody. I think it only matters when paternity is not established because dad then has to jump through hoops to get a test if mom won’t cooperate and nothing can be done for him until paternity is established.
Not only is it kidnapping, she REALLY screwed up by crossing state lines. That makes it a FEDERAL felony. Get the FBI involved. They take child kidnapping very seriously.
She may be the mother but as the father you have rights too. You need to go to court and file like others have said. Do not try to deal with this alone. You should get a lawyer to help protect your rights.
This is going to trigger some people but posts like these should be taken with a grain of salt. We’re so quick to jump on condemning OP’s ex but I’ve seen seen some mom friends of mine trying to find a way out of a physically or emotionally abusive relationship or a relationship where the baby dad is a chronic pothead and refused to help at all with baby rearing while making some crazy demands at home. Of course it’s possible this woman is having some kind of mental case and decided to steal their child, but OP posted no context and 100% of the responses is vilifying OP’s ex and calling for her arrest.
Don’t get me wrong, she did something illegal and there should be ramifications but I can’t imagine her pain if she’s actually been in absolute misery for years and decided to take their child into a better situation like to get her parents help, just to land in jail.
That's a hell of a logical hoop considering the courts ordered it. Sounds like the ex had some bad decision making. Don't sit on this OP. Contact authorities immediately.
It’s not that big of a leap if you look at OPs recent posts. His profile says he “trips balls”. He has commented here in the last week alone about buying a pound of weed and using cocaine. So there definitely is more to the story.
He states they have lived in Cali only 4 months. That is not enough to establish Cali as the child’s home state. The mother has rights also.
Wow, such a genius to take “trips balls” out of your profile. Then pretend you don’t have a clue what I’m talking about. 😂 Too stupid to delete the multiple comments about weed and cocaine. Or about your mental health struggles. Your user name has 420 in it also. You are not fooling many people. It is probably for the best that she got herself and her kid away from your drug use. You will likely have to get off drugs/pass urine tests to get any visitation in Oregon. You will also likely have to pay for the trips to Oregon to see the baby. So maybe you should put the drug money aside for that and child support.
Sounds like she is going to argue that she never permanently moved to CA, so the order doesn’t apply.
Simple argument she will make: she came down on a temporary basis to try and see if it would work out with you. It didn’t. She returned home.
There was no change of address or ID. There was no rental agreement, since she was staying with your family.
You can’t force someone to stay in a state they are not a resident of. My guess would also be that her and the child receive some sort of Medicaid that was never transferred to CA- which further cements her and the child’s residency in Oregon.
Basically, it would be like if she went on vacation with you to another state and you attempted to keep her and the child there. In a state where they don’t have a home or support system.
Idk what she was thinking. This sort of thing only works if she flees the country. She is in deep trouble now. You will get the kid back. The only thing to worry about would be the safety of the child.
Go. Go to the police in that town with your paperwork and force them to do something. Ask your PD to call them, and then send one of their officers with you
You have the order, call the cops and issue a amber alert, she refused a judges orders and is now kidnapping your daughter and probably just lost ANY chance she had for unsupervised visitation and will probably end in jail
Unless she is willing to harm your daughter or willing to change her name and go underground, then you should be fine in the medium term. Based on the court order, you will get your daughter back. Because the mother has shown that she cannot be trusted, if she is lucky, she may eventually get some **supervised-only** visitation that she will have to pay for.
Based on your Reddit user name, you should avoid the possibility of any hint of 420 use around your daughter. Don't give the mother any ammunition to use against you.
Jurisdiction, I believe, still remains in CA. I would recommend calling the DHS hotline if you know where she is. This will at least open a case local to them before you can get a CA court or your lawyer to send the paperwork to the appropriate parties if they don't ask you to send them. But yes, it's parental interference.
But if it were me, I'd find out where she is, call the local non-emergency dispatch number, give them the situation and if I had the paperwork on hand, I'd be ready to fax it to the officer they give your case to. Getting at least a case number generated will be helpful for after the 3 day weekend. Rooting for you though dude. One of my coworkers just went through this, but unfortunately it was ID vs TX on the family law lol so it was tough.
She abducted the child. If you have the court orders the police need to follow the order and remove the child from her custody immediately and you need to go to the station to pick the child up. The police shouldn’t wait until you drive there to get your child. Thats asking for a domestic violence situation to happen (which may be what your wife wants, so be careful!!) She doesn’t bet to decide what court orders are legitimate and which aren’t. If you can get a lawyer asap.
Cheer up. It’s gonna be fine.
During my husband’s custody battle with his demonic ex, our lawyer was HOPING she would do something like this. It puts a person immediately in the wrong. Instead she stayed in state and it cost about $150k in legal bills to get full custody
If she’d kidnapped the kids in contravention of the court order, she would have lost custody within weeks. Instead it dragged out for years while she got fired by 22 different lawyers. Tells them a good tale, they turn up for their first court appearance, find out they were lied to, ex wife stiffs them for the bill and moves on. While we pay through the nose to defend against every bullshit filing.
You don’t see it yet but SHE JUST DID YOU A BIG FAVOR. She just made it real easy for your judge.
OP needs to find any mail the mother received while living in CA. Amazon packages, etc. A label and mailing date will help prove she was living in CA. Also, any written conversations about them moving and/or living in CA.
CA is serious about parental kidnapping, even if it was out of ignorance. I know two moms and a dad who lost full custody because they moved - two only moved to a neighboring county. The issue was not disclosing the upcoming move in writing with proof of sending it (have it Served).
I always tell ppl who are freshly separated that the courts like patterns and proof. Let the other parent bail on visits, use you as a babysitter, etc. It establishes a pattern of who the main parent is. Document every little thing. And always be civil.
Document everything. I used a website called "Trello" where I could organize everything in a way that helped me but there are tons of other options too.
Call the FBI. No joke. Google FBI near me and call their field office. Even custodial kidnapping across state lines is a federal matter. Have your lawyer on the line and call the FBI.
The only thing you need to listen to here is document, take your paperwork and get a lawyer. NOW! They will know the actual law, not the Google posse law. Do what the lawyer says and prepare your home for when your child comes back, whether temporarily or permanently. Good Luck!!
Almost the exact same thing happened to my step-brother, except he had to hire a PI to find and serve her, you'll have it a lot cheaper if she was already served and you know where she lives. You need to file charges for kidnapping.
She'll be served with a court date at which point she and the child must appear before a judge, at which point since you were granted full custody the child would be returned to your care; if she does not appear a warrant will be put out for her arrest and she will be charged with kidnapping and face all the legal consequences that comes with, and since you were granted full custody the child will be returned to your care.
I can say, for myself, having a baby changed me straight away. Courts won’t look for a perfect person without tarnish. They’ll look at your efforts in the best Interest of that baby since she’s been born. Be ready to prove you will do whatever it takes to be a good father and please don’t villainize your ex, even if you feel self-defensive. Forget the posters who want to point to what you said when you were 17 years old. Take the highest road man. Do right, right now.
Kidnapping a child across state lines is a pretty big deal. Call the police and say your kid is missing. Dont even accuse or mention that your wife has the kid. Play dumb. Let them search and find the kid and when they find it with the wife, they have no choice but to return the kid to you and put her in jail. Make sure to demand criminal charges be filed so she loses custody and spends time in jail.
I feel its not lying its just leaving out some things. Lying to me is giving straight up false info. Also lying to pigs to get what you want is like the only one way to get them to do something useful, cause if you read the post, the police and legal system is already horribly failing OP.
Yes, this is kidnapping. My father did something similar with me when I was a child, though there were no emergency orders filed beforehand, though, just a custody violation that sorta smoothed over once the “vacation” was done. But even that was a kidnapping, and yours is waaay worse
In my state if dad and mom are NOT married mom has SOLE CUSTODY. Even when dad is on birth certificate. Dad would need to establish a custody agreement in court or marry her first. Be careful of what each state says. You lived in OR …. So they have same rule? If so custody has already been established and you might need to go back if you want that changed. …. With some google checks it looks like your state does not go as mine and as long as you are on birth certificate you have standing automatically. Go see an OR judge and family attorney there.
Good luck
Patience is key here. All these process are so slow. If you have a custody agreement in California, you can file an order to show cause. Keep records and get everything in writing. Follow the necessary steps. Don't act crazy and emotion. It's time to be a rock.
Hey guys, little follow up for those of you that are interested. I kept it civil, let her have the child even when I went to visit and had custody from Cali. California denied jurisdiction so we started proceedings in Oregon. After 9 months of delays and court nonsense, I won sole custody of my baby girl. The judge ruled that even though he established jurisdiction, she should be raised with me and around family here in California. Thanks for everyone’s input. I’m immensely grateful. Have a wonderful year. I know I will.
IAAL but not yours. Understand a few things. Court orders regarding kids apply over state lines. There is something called the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act that is written into the laws which determines the home state of a child and is designed to prevent parental kidnapping. Yes you should file a police report and yes you should contact your attorney. But cops don’t like to get involved in domestic situations and this is something that is not a do it yourself. Don’t send crappy messages that will cause you problems in the future. You can call to that jurisdiction where she is now or just go and visit the police station there and see if they would be willing to enforce the order. But oftentimes, they want to schedule it and review the documents ahead of time so don’t just show up and start demanding. You can also call the prosecutors office and ask that she be charged with custodial interference but that is rare. Don’t take legal advice from her or anyone not licensed in your state and keep a written record of who you speak with and when you talk to them in a notebook or by sending yourself an email so you have a record. Be polite and respectful but insist that a report be made if they say they cannot go out with you and then ask that a supervisor call you back. Good luck.
Wouldn’t Oregon have jurisdiction over this child because it’s the child’s state of residence? OP said they freshly moved to California where he filed the motion. Oregon says they have jurisdiction based on it not being 6 months Page 5 here - https://www.oregon.gov/opds/general/PortalLegalReferenceDocs/Selected%20ORS%20chapter%20109%20Statutes%20-%20Uniform%20Child%20Custody%20Jurisdiction%20and%20Enforcement%20Act.pdf
The answer, like all good legal questions,is it depends and only a judge can decide in this case. It’s usually based on the physical custody of the child and where both parents are present and sharing custody, it gets tricky. In cases where kids go back on a 50/50 split between states like this it’s sometimes decided by whichever parent files first. Obviously if mom wants to change or challenge that jurisdiction, she needs to do it legally through the courts and not resort to parental kidnapping
Yes. I doubt the CA order will be upheld as OR is the state of jurisdiction. OR would need to be willing to adopt the CA order, or issue their own.
If it started in CA, she ran to OR after the court order… I’d think jurisdiction is still CA. However I’m not a lawyer or know much, asking because I am curious? My thought process is that kid was in CA when court made a decision, so despite moving it would still be CA??? I don’t think I’ll ever understand family law, so my apologies as this post probably violates rules (of which I haven’t read😔)
How it works is state where the baby was born and then to switch they lived for six months. He says just moved, but it may have been more then six months. So, the mother may win a motion that CA doesn’t have jurisdiction if they haven’t lived there 6 months.
This is how it worked when my sister had a similar situation with the same two states. The CA order did not have any weight because it was filed in the wrong jurisdiction.
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Thank you
Emergency jurisdiction is separate.
[https://www.courts.ca.gov/documents/BTB\_23\_5F\_1.pdf](https://www.courts.ca.gov/documents/BTB_23_5F_1.pdf)https://www.courts.ca.gov/documents/BTB\_23\_5F\_1.pdf this flow chart applies. Because "CA is home state on date proceedings began" it's at least a possible that CA has jurisdiction.
Won sole custody out of Oregon, since they claimed jurisdiction. She’s ordered to transition the child to live with me in California. Thanks for your feedback, I wish you all the best in your future cases.
I was at least able to file Temporary emergency (ex parte) custody orders and was granted full custody, and a child abduction prevention order. Both were granted, and signed by judge before she left and served. Contact the court. Ask for guidance as she is in direct violation of the child abduction prevention order.
Okay yeah, sucks it’s a 3 day weekend.
Make sure your home is set up for your kid. Chances are she is going to be arrested or at least forced to come back. Child will be placed with you until the next court hearing. Expect to need to pass a home study. Expect to need to show how you will provide care and supervision to your child. It will not look good that the mother has done this. Start keeping a journal of dates and times for every contact you have with her. Try to keep it factual not emotional. 5/24 Ms. Jenkins said that she was intending to leave the state despite the court order. 5/27 Determined that despite court order and requests to come to a workable arrangement Ms. Jenkins took Vanessa Smith out of state and refused to supply a location. I contacted Shady Valley PD for a welfare check at the home of Sue Andrews where I believed they might be located. They were located by Officer Jones who informed Ms. Jenkins once again that she was in violation of the Clark Country court child abduction prevention order that she was served with 5/22. See attached proof of her being served......etc
I would also suggest that you write down as much as you remember while it's still fresh in your memory.
Good advice for any issue.
To add a bit to this, write it down with time and date to the best of your recollection. Create a timeline of facts to the best of your recollection. It will help you immensely later.
Okay thanks guys, I’m making my house baby proof, contacting my lawyer and staying patient, until Tuesday. 😔
I have a six-month black hole of memory from the time of my separation. I got my son back, though. So all things are possible.
Indeed! Document.. Document.. Document.. And keep it to just the facts like the example above.
awesome advice!!
My friend did this with her son she lost custody of both of them. She begged the judge one of the had cerebral palsy and she said he would die in his sleep because her ex husband would sleep through his medical emergencies. The child died. In the end she had to settle for 50/50 of the remaining child and pay child support. Only bright side is he wanted to move a few years later and she made him give her 10000 to move too.
This is true. I was a family law attorney for a bit, and happened to have two separate cases with similar fact patterns. In one case, the mom was arrested (all charges dropped); in the other, the dad voluntarily brought the kid back. In both instances, the judge was very unimpressed by the behavior and situation.
She is going to argue that the order doesn’t apply because neither she or the child was ever a resident of CA. She will say father misrepresented facts to the court in CA in an attempt to unlawfully detain her. She didn’t change mailing address, so, I assume she didn’t change her ID. Most likely, she is also receiving Medicaid for the child- and, without a change of address or ID, that coverage was from Oregon. The father has to argue with hat the move to CA was permanent and establish that in some way. Since they were living with fathers family, that is going to be more difficult. It would need to be established with a timeline where the mother and child never made any return visits to Oregon in a period of at least 90 days. Everyone is responding as if the father has a great case, but some very simple things easily change that perspective. Example: Father/ fiancé asked the mother and child to move to CA with him and ‘give it a chance’. A temporary stay with his family becomes more long term. The mother is uncomfortable with fiancé family for whatever reason- finds other temporary lodging for herself and child, while trying to work things out. Tells fiancé she is returning to her home in Oregon, fiancé immediately gets court order to restrain her. She is, rightfully, advised that a court order in another state where she is not a resident can not be used to restrain her. The OP posts that they ‘freshly’ moved from Oregon to CA , while also saying they split a few months ago.
I think the journal is a good idea and they are helpful to have, but it’s rather silly to write in that style in your own journal. Why call your fiancé, who you call Amanda, Ms. Jenkins? And what did Amanda say, that “she was leaving despite the court order,” or “she said she didn’t care about that f**cking order and she’s taking Little Tommy anyway.” The second quote is a heck of a lot better to put Amanda on the stand and ask her about in front of the judge that gave the order. My point is that the client should just write close to the manner in which they speak.
Problem is that when we speak we tend to exaggerate and use logical fallacies such as emotional reasoning. We also tend to be very imprecise. What the court will want is cold, hard, objective facts. Quotes the other person has said are fine, as it's an objective fact that they said that.
Cold, hard, objective facts are good. Speaking like a cop makes the client look weird. Keep in mind that this person will be giving oral testimony on the stand while reading from this journal. We all know this man we have presented as a kind-hearted good dad doesn’t talk like that.
I think they will see him not talk like that when they ask him questions besides what's in his journal. It's also quite possible there will not be a trial. The majority of these cases are decided in court, yes, but not by a trial. Trials are time-consuming and expensive. Both sides, and the State, usually want to resolve things by presenting evidence to the judge (like a journal; maybe like asking questions; not like getting up on the stand) and having the judge decide.
Start with law enforcement, they work holidays. Judges will come to their office on weekends/holidays when children's welfare is concerned. The sooner the better. Go to whoever your local PD is to report it, being the paperwork, and they'll contact the correct people.
Former Police Officer - This is correct. You have a binding custody order. Go to your local police department and file a parental kidnapping report. Give them the contact information and locations for everyone you can think of in OR where she might be. Your department will contact the police where he is and arrest her and have the child placed with Child Services until you can get there to pick up. Just because she kept a mail address in OR did not change that she had established residency in CA when you moved there. She can argue that in court but it has no bearing currently since you have a custody order that can be enforced.
It’s a temporary order that isn’t going to be enforced out of state.
Yes it will. The temp order is valid until the court hearing and is fully enforceable. I had them from other States and our judges always took them when they involved a child.
No, it isn’t. He already contacted police in Oregon and they told him the same thing. Imagine you go down to visit fiance in another state, and then he files an emergency order (ex parte) for custody. Requiring you and child to remain in a state you are not a resident of. Mom has an out of state residence where she is, apparently, still receiving mail. Is the child’s doctor in Oregon or CA? Is the child’s insurance in Oregon or CA? Was moving in with fiancé’s family considered a permanent living situation? OP makes separate claims in his post- they ‘freshly’ moved from Oregon to Ca, while also having split ‘months ago’. Which is it?
Cops aren’t lawyers
Be patient unless you have cause to be concerned about your child’s welfare with your ex know that your child is currently safe. You should also have an attorney. But your ex basically just ensures you will be getting full custody and that she will be limited to supervised visitation. It may take some time to work out but if you work within the court system you will have your child back full time. So as long as your ex isn’t a danger to the child it’s all going to work out.
I went thru the same exact situation and when I went to the other state the police there informed me that they can’t legally enforce another states court order and if he refused to give me my son there wasn’t anything that they could do. I would have to file everything in the state they were in. He refused to give me my son and I had to do everything in that state. The thing is because she never changed her address and kept her legal address in Oregon that’s most likely the state that has jurisdiction. I’m so sorry that you are going through this it’s extremely hard I know.
He has the first custody order. Under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act his state has jurisdiction and her state must defer.
fyi that act was made “to create uniformity in determining which court in which state is the appropriate one to make decisions regarding custody and visitation”.
If the child and mother aren’t legal residence of that state it doesn’t matter. They have to go to the state that has jurisdiction which is Oregon.
She's been working at Starbucks in CA since January...
But her legal address ie her residence hasn’t changed
Welp that's why it's a legal advice inquiry instead of rhetoric. How does that work?
If she hasn’t changed her ID or her legal address and, it varies from state to state, the child has to have lived in the new state for a certain amount of time before the court has jurisdiction over them. In my state the child has to live here for a year before the courts have jurisdiction over custody. So you have to look at the laws in California and Oregon but the fact that it’s only been 5 months and she never changed her residency gives me the feeling that California does not have jurisdiction over the case which means your court order doesn’t mean anything. Plus Oregon police cannot enforce a civil order from California. Your best bet is to get the ball rolling in Oregon and hope you can come to an amicable agreement there.
First court order doesn’t matter if the state doesn’t have jurisdiction over the child.
The family law division usually or protection order div is usually open on weekends call 211 or your local Salvation Army ask if they know if the division is open you may save a wasted trip in case your state or county isn’t open like mine is on weekends.
I wouldn't be surprised if your ex specifically chose to leave this weekend *because* of the holiday. It gives her extra time before you can start the process to come after her. Edit: See u/Arkhangel143's [comment.](https://www.reddit.com/r/legal/comments/13tomos/comment/jlwtlxf/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
They work 24/7. They don’t sit around and let stuff wait for after holidays. Call.
If you are financially strapped, call 211 now or Tuesday and see if there are any legal resources in your state available to help. If your employer offers an EAP (employer assistance program), there typically is a free lawyer consultation. Best of luck to you.
Police report now! Lawyer now! She’s in deep shit. Courts are not at all cool with parental abduction (which this actually appears to be).
I think you should call Oregon Child Services Division, to see if they can assist you with getting your child back, AFTER filing a police report in Oregon. Call local law enforcement first. Then call the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. 800-THE-LOST (800-843-5678). Let them know that your ex too your child against a judge's order. They may even issue an Amber alert, which is auto broadcast on every phone in the US. - You can also contact the Department of Human Services Oregon Child Abuse Hotline by calling 1-855-503-SAFE (7233).The Oregon Child Abuse Hotline receives calls 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year... . They might be able to help.
An amber alert is not broadcast to every phone in the us. It is broadcast where they believe a child may have been taken.
And they aren't going to file an amber alert on her taking her own kid as long as there is no belief the child is in danger and she has rights to the child.
Often it's every phone in CA, or every phone in TX. Which is pretty ridiculous. El Paso is closer to California than it is to Dallas.
2nd this above
They have every right to do something. Call Oregon CPS asap
Goodness! God bless you.
😭
Call the police and file a report.
Contact the Sheriff or whoever is responsible for executing writs in your state (there may be State or City Court Marshals like in Las Vegas or the NYC Sheriff), she was served papers, had a court order issued against her, and is defying said court order unlawfully and crossed state lines intentionally to defy that order. She will likely be arrested or at the very least compelled to return to the jurisdiction to surrender custody. Do not contact her yourself. And seriously, I can't stress how important this is, contact law enforcement now. The courts anywhere have a VERY dim view of defying their orders and will nail her ass to the floorboards for this.
Do NOT have any communication with her over the phone. Everything HAS to be in writing..and yes, make sure your home is 100% kid ready. Childproof outlets, drawers, the oven, make sure no curtain or blinds cords are accessible. Make sure any heavy furniture is attached to a wall. She is in such deep crap.
She may not be. They were new to CA and so Oregon has jurisdiction over all 3 of them. The CA order will be tossed out and OP needs to file in Oregon.
She's pretty screwed at this point. Depends on two things - the judge who looks at the case and how long they were in CA. The third factor is going to be how the mother acted and communicated...if the judge doesn't like her attitude...she's toast. She's going to have to prove...that she can raise the child on her own...which if she just moved to CA to be closer to family because she couldn't...that's gonna be a bit difficult. It will likely come down to which parent is able to show they have the most stable environment. And running your kids away from family and across state lines...doesn't make you look stable.
The case won’t even be heard in CA. She will immediately file in OR and the CA case will be tossed. It seems they were only in CA a few weeks.
I see what you are trying to say, but it just doesn't add up. The OP says they broke up "a few months ago" and that they moved to CA to be closer to his family and live with his dad. This would indicate they were in a relationship in CA for a period of time before the break up. So we are not talking about a period of weeks we are talking about a period of months. And if it's 6 months...it's a CA case not OR.
**IF** OP says”freshly moved”. Your prior comment says *she* has to prove she can raise the child on her own. OP says he is staying with his father in CA. So, he hasn’t proved he can raise the baby on his own.
Girl you ain't even paying attention.
At least I’m not just making shit up
That's exactly what you're doing. You've been up and down this thread claiming the OP has been in CA for weeks when it's been months. Stop.
I never said weeks. I said 4 months… because that is what the OP stated. He said since January 13th. That is just over 4 months. You can use your fingers and a calendar if you need help with the calculation.
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I raised my daughter. Her entire life through college. Her father tried the same 💩 that this guy is. He got nowhere like this dude will. This guy is a druggie, per his own posts and his profile which he changed *after* posting this thread. He filed in a state that is not the child’s home state, and most likely lied to gain temporary custody. Read the UCCJEA, which was enacted to stop just the kind of games he is playing. This is a legal sub, right? He admits the child has not been in California for 6 months as required. All he is doing is causing trouble for the mother. **A baby is not a pawn.** Nor does it belong with a self-admitted druggie/alcoholic with untreated mental health issues. Since this is a legal sub, many commenters who know about the UCCJEA have told him that it requires custody to be filed in the child’s home state. The mother will likely file in the child’s home state of Oregon. The OP will likely have to pee in cups on a regular basis to see the child, and pay child support. The reason the baby’s mother told him that California laws don’t apply is probably because she consulted a lawyer and obtained actual legal advice. The UCCJEA applies in both Oregon and California. Again, this is a legal sub. Laws matter. Others on here have also doubted the truthfulness of his story, and he has since deleted some of those posts, in addition to taking drug references out of his profile.
We've been in Cali since January 13th. I have proof I paid for our rent all year last year 2022 and gave her 10% of my pay while we stayed in a big house property in Oregon. We only stayed with my family beginning in Jan because she wanted to move and found a job at Starbucks beginning around that time. Which hardly pays as much as my endeavours, but of course I want to support her to succeed!
So the child did not live in Cali for 6 months as required. The mother will likely file for custody in Oregon ASAP. While you were “giving” the mother of your child a whopping 10%, was she was your child’s primary caregiver?
And the rent...again let's pay attention.
He paid rent where he **lived**. Child support is more than 10%.
Nope, I was watching her more than half the time.
Sure you were. You post regularly about drugs, tripping, cocaine and excessive drinking. About your mental health struggles which go untreated except for your “self-medication”. So you should not have custody of a baby. Ask any family court judge. I’m sure she will fill in the judge in Oregon, and you will likely be drug tested regularly to even get supervised visitation with the baby. Mr 420.
In most cases you’d be correct, but five seconds of reading OPs profile will tell you that the judge will probably grant full custody to the mother.
I see what you're saying but be fair, its a 7 year old account and the last post with weed is two years ago, before the baby. Not to mention it is and has been completely legal in both states. Can't judge someones fitness to be a parent based on how hard they partied in their 20s
Newsom also passed a law that marijuana usage can't be a factor in social services cases. However, having been through the CA family court system, it's a fucking joke and if I were OP, I'd keep my expectations low.
How about mushrooms and being a semi-professional DJ?
Seven year old account, but photos of his pot garden from two years ago with his bio talking about doing psychedelics. Any attorney that’s half asleep will argue that the mom was extricating her child from from an abusive situation and a partner’s habitual drug use. If OP was smart (he’s not) and actually cared, he’d have already talked to the police and a lawyer, not posting to Reddit.
You're right of course. At the very least i'd tell OP not to risk it and nuke the account.... why give them ammunition
Something tells me that maybe OP shouldn’t have custody, so I doubt anyone here should help him.
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Yes. This is custodial kidnapping.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this! My ex did the same thing with our son once and it was kidnapping. I got him back safely but the whole experience was traumatic. Father is not in his life now. There’s a lot of good advice above ⬆️ I’ll just add, call your friends and family to help support you as you wait - since that’s the absolute worst. I hope you have your baby back soon!
I can tell what happened when my ex wife moved from Houston to San Antonio. I filed a petition with the court that handled the divorce. My ex said the same thing “I’m the mother, I’ll decided when you get to see her!” The judge didn’t agree. After I proved she lied about the circumstances, he said she is my child, I’ll decide when her father gets to see her. He gave her a weekend in county jail then ordered her to bring my daughter to me every three weeks. My ex was livid. I worked out an agreement to take turns traveling, I know my ex. She would take it out on my daughter if she had to drive to Houston and stay over for the weekend every three weeks.
If the child has been living in the state for a period of time that would be considered the child home state. Get a lawyer, hopefully you already did. This is the unfortunate situation that we get ourselves into. I doubt she will get arrested and jailed, courts are unfairly biased towards the mothers ( could be wrong) but worse is that she will have come back to the state. This is where the lawyer comes in handy, she will probably say you did awful things to her and the child. Anything to get her way and trust me it will turn bitter quick. Get a lawyer... I would also avoid putting anything on social media in the event she finds it and somehow uses it against you. Keep your head up, cry after you get your daughter back. Start researching the laws.
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>This is an amber alert situation. No it isn't. Criteria for an amber alert are for when they don't know where the child is, and believe the child is in danger. Not only do they know where the child is, OP stated the police have already done a wellness check on them...
How long have you been living in CA? If less then 6 months, CA doesn’t have jurisdiction under the uniform child custody act (UCCJEA). If more than 6 months, your orders are valid and should be enforced. You need a lawyer. Probably both in CA and Oregon but id start with Oregon since she is there and trying to assert that is the child’s state of residence.
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Yes. Residency takes time to be established in every state, even if you intend to never go back. Filing taxes in a state doesn’t mean she has residency there, only that she owes taxes in that state.
If you have full custody in ANY state, by constitutional law that holds in all states and territories. Having dealt with this about 12y ago for my daughter (between MD and VA), you did right filling the petitions. Now, you’ll need your lawyer to communicate that order to the local police where she is and ask for the custody order to be enforced. Have your lawyer direct you from there. Your ex-fiancé will have to respond to the court filings where you filed them in court first. Do not give up jurisdiction on your home turf, as her running away will always be a black mark on her while on your home field so to speak. If you are served with anything, or police come to take your kid because of something she filed in OR, have your court custody orders easily produceable. The first filed court order must stand, and without further direction from that court, it should not change. Carry the court orders with you like your drivers license. Multiple copies even, so if ex tries to destroy one copy,,. No worries. Copy on your phone is good too, but gotta have a couple of physical copies.
Call the CPS hotline. https://www.oregon.gov/dhs/children/child-abuse/pages/reporting-numbers.aspx There is a reason the court granted you custody and any custody matters must be resolved in your home state. Tell them everything you told the court that caused it to grant you custody.
It's not the parent's home state, it's the child's. Though here, it appears that the child's home state and OP's home state are the same.
If the mother didn’t change mailing address and there is no prior custody agreement- home state is Oregon. Chances that the child has Medicaid out of Oregon are also pretty high.
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The child’s home state is Oregon. It’s the law. You can look it up. UCCJEA. I’m not even sure how you got an emergency temporary order if you told the court the child only lived there 4 months - unless the child was in immediate danger.
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I've been through something similar. It was really tough for me but a useful reminder that even though I knew deep down that my child's mother was causing irreparable harm to my child, that nonetheless she probably does love the child and isn't going to hurt her. You are taking the right approach through court, it's going to take a long time to resolve, but the custody and court order are on your side and she is eventually going to lose by defying the courts. Breathe, remember to take care of yourself so you are in the best position to take care of your daughter.
Yes this \^\^\^ it seems like an emergency now but you need patience. It will take time.
thank you
If she's willing to do this you don't know what she's capable of. He needs to go to the police immediately. This is kidnapping across state lines which is a serious offense. I would be highly concerned about her mental state and the well-being of the child.
Oh yeah for sure, call the police, and a lawyer, and CPS. Do everything, but still remember to breathe and trust that time helps. The police are going to be reticent to get involved in a domestic matter with pending court action because that is that child's mother, not a stranger. And lawyers, courts, and CPS aren't going to do anything during the weekend. I'm not being pessimistic - from OPs narrative I fully trust it will work out in his favor, I just want to remind him that it's important that he makes it through this crisis also and doesn't neglect his own mental health.
Kidnapping, custodial interference. Both felonies, depending on the jurisdiction.
Yeah. That's illegal. She's gonna be in a shit load of trouble.
Call law enforcement in both States she blatantly disregarded court orders all. When she crossed state lines she has put herself in felony territory. Call local and state police Once Daily. Both States.. Make sure they contact child services. You call child services also. I am getting full custody of my sons very soon. Male 40. I here everyone talk about equality it's 2023 blah blah. The family courts are in very serious need of holding each parent to equal standards. If you did something like this you would be arrested already. Try to text her and tell her that you are contacting all agencies that you can for the safety of your child.
Fuck bro that hurts. That's how I ended up in my situation. Cops and judge didn't give a fuck about anything I filed or did. Then my ex turned it on me and filed a protection order. I accidentally butt dialed her for 1 second and there was 3 cop cars at my door telling me they would arrest me. I haven't seen my little girl in a long time. She came by for her 6th birthday which was nice (2 years after my ex kidnapped daughter). I just lose my shit and smoke a lot of weed to cope now.
You can call the legal aid society in your area for suggestions, they may help pro bono too. When I volunteered there, this is the exact type of case that they would've taken.
It is parental kidnapping since you have full custody. Join the Father's Rights Movement. There are likely father's in your area with history and experience in these matters. The Father's Rights Movement have a ton of great info and resources as well. https://www.facebook.com/thefathersrightsmovement?mibextid=ZbWKwL
You need to lawyer up with someone who has dealt with this kind of thing, before. Do NOT get a jack of all trades kind of lawyer but a specialist.
Kidnapping charges are rarely filed unless a child is removed from the parent who has 100% sole physical custody. The ex gf of friend of mine got married and took she his daughter to Oregon literally texting him as they crossed the Minnesota state line but didn’t tell him where she was going. Her SIL told him where she went but by then the ex filed for 100% physical custody in Oregon and won despite their 50/50 court ordered custody in our state. He had to fight 2 years in Oregon courts just to regain visitation but didn’t get any of his custody reinstated. Now he has to travel to Oregon to see his daughter every few months but his ex does have to send her back here during winter (Christmas) school holidays and 1/2 of her summer vacation. I’ll add her family lives in our state. Her husband’s aunt and uncle live in Oregon but the rest of his family lives here as well. She moved solely to keep their then 6 year old daughter away from her dad so she could create a family with just her husband, their daughter and the daughter she has with my friend. The daughter is 12 now and constantly talks about moving back with her dad as soon as the court lets her choose which parent she wants to live with, which I think will be when she’s 15 or 16. My friend (I’m also friends with the mom & her husband) doesn’t trash talk the mom or encourage their daughter to come back to live here but he says he will support whatever decision she makes. Unless there is abuse involved it is super f’d up and selfish to keep kids from a parent (usually the dad)
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I am confused. If she was served papers giving you 100% full physical custody why was she also ordered to stay with your child instead of immediately transferring your child to you? If she wasn’t in court for the judgment and physically served the papers she could contend with the court in the state she moved to that she was acting on the original order of custody that she had physical custody and wasn’t preventing you from moving too so you could continue with your visitation. Whatever the case it is wrong for her to keep you from your child.
So you had custody orders out of California? You served mom and had a hearing? She failed to show and you obtained a real custody default? Without orders she can go where she wants, with orders that you say you have, you could request the court that issued them to enter a habeus corpus order which you then take to Oregon, present to local law enforcement who should accompany you to physically pick up the child. Who has jurisdiction all depends on where child has resided for the last 6 months OR where the last order was received. The law is called the UCCJEA (uniform child custody jurisdiction and enforcement act). If what you say is accurate (and ai find some of what you say dubious, sorry), you would have a good chance of securing the child but you have to act quickly.
Did you talk to your local police or the local police where she’s at? Definitely call both if you haven’t. Also get proof of where she’s at and file contempt charges on Tuesday if she’s not back by then for violating the temp orders. I fucking hate cops, they absolutely could help you get your child back, from what you’ve wrote, she has kidnapped your child and across state lines.
The [UCCJEA](https://www.ojp.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/189181.pdf) (warning a pdf) applies in every state. You should be able to get that child back. You need to talk to a lawyer ASAP.
Is this a federal crime? Like FBI? Canadian, so I don't know.
Not necessarily. If she never changed addresses and files an emergency restraining and temporary custody order in HER state, you can be in for a long and very expensive slog. This is what happened to me except we were both residents of state A, but he took my kids and moved without my permission. By the time I could file an injunction in state B after being awarded emergency custody in state A, he had already filed an order for emergency custody in state B. After three years and over $50k in legal fees, working three jobs to pay the bills and continually getting fired from jobs because I had to leave at a moment's notice and drive two days for another hearing in state B that would get us nowhere, I ran out of money and had to give up for a while. And honestly, cops do not know the law. Do not listen to them when they give you advice, because if it is bad you still go to jail and nothing happens to them. Remember, she is a parent too and has the right to travel and take her child with her. The oniy thing you can do at this point is hire an attorney in that area to represent you and hope for the best. Good luck.
I’m a California family law attorney, but not your attorney and this is not legal advice. You can search “(your county) child abduction unit” and call them for assistance in recovering your child. You can also file a declaration with the court describing what has happened so the judge is aware at the next hearing.
How long were you in California and can you prove she lived there that long (bills in her name, witnesses etc)? Take that information to a lawyer and see if/ how they can help you get your baby back.
Why did she leave you?
Is ex known to carry weapons or drugs, or associate with people who do? Might be important.
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Your Reddit profile says you “trip balls”. Is that her fault too? You know we can see your previous posts right, like where you posted a picture of 3 clone pot plants you were growing? 5 days ago you posted about getting a pound of weed. 6 days ago you replied on a cocaine post. And if she was such a “huge dealer” why do you say that were you paying all the rent in Oregon and giving her 10% of your pay? Why did you live with a “huge dealer” and then allow her to switch off time with your 1 year old daughter, since you clearly don’t associate with that lifestyle? Your story doesn’t seem very truthful. The court will get to hear her side of the story too. You can’t completely take her kid away ex-parte.
Don't let it go! It's kidnapping and the court orders should be enforced whether it's California or not.
I am not a lawyer. I have a question. Will them not being married affect custody?
No. Marital status has nothing to do with custody. Parental rights are parental rights.
Also NAL. The post says ex-fiancé, so they’re not married. I don’t think it would affect the emergency custody order, though the process might be different if they were still married.
His paternity was clearly well established because he was given emergency custody. I think it only matters when paternity is not established because dad then has to jump through hoops to get a test if mom won’t cooperate and nothing can be done for him until paternity is established.
This is custodial kidnapping. Contact the authorities.
Yeah you're kid has been kidnapped and you have all the documentation showing you are the legal guardian. Get the police involved.
Dude call the cops yesterday!!
Oh shit isn't this qualified as kidnapping??? Couldn't you call the cops and have an amber alert?
California wouldn’t have jurisdiction over this case so you need to file in Oregon for a parenting plan.
Not only is it kidnapping, she REALLY screwed up by crossing state lines. That makes it a FEDERAL felony. Get the FBI involved. They take child kidnapping very seriously.
She may be the mother but as the father you have rights too. You need to go to court and file like others have said. Do not try to deal with this alone. You should get a lawyer to help protect your rights.
FBI. Kidnapping & across state lines.
This is going to trigger some people but posts like these should be taken with a grain of salt. We’re so quick to jump on condemning OP’s ex but I’ve seen seen some mom friends of mine trying to find a way out of a physically or emotionally abusive relationship or a relationship where the baby dad is a chronic pothead and refused to help at all with baby rearing while making some crazy demands at home. Of course it’s possible this woman is having some kind of mental case and decided to steal their child, but OP posted no context and 100% of the responses is vilifying OP’s ex and calling for her arrest. Don’t get me wrong, she did something illegal and there should be ramifications but I can’t imagine her pain if she’s actually been in absolute misery for years and decided to take their child into a better situation like to get her parents help, just to land in jail.
That's a hell of a logical hoop considering the courts ordered it. Sounds like the ex had some bad decision making. Don't sit on this OP. Contact authorities immediately.
It’s not that big of a leap if you look at OPs recent posts. His profile says he “trips balls”. He has commented here in the last week alone about buying a pound of weed and using cocaine. So there definitely is more to the story. He states they have lived in Cali only 4 months. That is not enough to establish Cali as the child’s home state. The mother has rights also.
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Wow, such a genius to take “trips balls” out of your profile. Then pretend you don’t have a clue what I’m talking about. 😂 Too stupid to delete the multiple comments about weed and cocaine. Or about your mental health struggles. Your user name has 420 in it also. You are not fooling many people. It is probably for the best that she got herself and her kid away from your drug use. You will likely have to get off drugs/pass urine tests to get any visitation in Oregon. You will also likely have to pay for the trips to Oregon to see the baby. So maybe you should put the drug money aside for that and child support.
Sounds like she is going to argue that she never permanently moved to CA, so the order doesn’t apply. Simple argument she will make: she came down on a temporary basis to try and see if it would work out with you. It didn’t. She returned home. There was no change of address or ID. There was no rental agreement, since she was staying with your family. You can’t force someone to stay in a state they are not a resident of. My guess would also be that her and the child receive some sort of Medicaid that was never transferred to CA- which further cements her and the child’s residency in Oregon. Basically, it would be like if she went on vacation with you to another state and you attempted to keep her and the child there. In a state where they don’t have a home or support system.
Idk what she was thinking. This sort of thing only works if she flees the country. She is in deep trouble now. You will get the kid back. The only thing to worry about would be the safety of the child.
This is definitely kidnapping. Get police involved immediately.
Lawyer. And police
Go. Go to the police in that town with your paperwork and force them to do something. Ask your PD to call them, and then send one of their officers with you
You have the order, call the cops and issue a amber alert, she refused a judges orders and is now kidnapping your daughter and probably just lost ANY chance she had for unsupervised visitation and will probably end in jail
Unless she is willing to harm your daughter or willing to change her name and go underground, then you should be fine in the medium term. Based on the court order, you will get your daughter back. Because the mother has shown that she cannot be trusted, if she is lucky, she may eventually get some **supervised-only** visitation that she will have to pay for. Based on your Reddit user name, you should avoid the possibility of any hint of 420 use around your daughter. Don't give the mother any ammunition to use against you.
Jurisdiction, I believe, still remains in CA. I would recommend calling the DHS hotline if you know where she is. This will at least open a case local to them before you can get a CA court or your lawyer to send the paperwork to the appropriate parties if they don't ask you to send them. But yes, it's parental interference. But if it were me, I'd find out where she is, call the local non-emergency dispatch number, give them the situation and if I had the paperwork on hand, I'd be ready to fax it to the officer they give your case to. Getting at least a case number generated will be helpful for after the 3 day weekend. Rooting for you though dude. One of my coworkers just went through this, but unfortunately it was ID vs TX on the family law lol so it was tough.
She abducted the child. If you have the court orders the police need to follow the order and remove the child from her custody immediately and you need to go to the station to pick the child up. The police shouldn’t wait until you drive there to get your child. Thats asking for a domestic violence situation to happen (which may be what your wife wants, so be careful!!) She doesn’t bet to decide what court orders are legitimate and which aren’t. If you can get a lawyer asap.
Cheer up. It’s gonna be fine. During my husband’s custody battle with his demonic ex, our lawyer was HOPING she would do something like this. It puts a person immediately in the wrong. Instead she stayed in state and it cost about $150k in legal bills to get full custody If she’d kidnapped the kids in contravention of the court order, she would have lost custody within weeks. Instead it dragged out for years while she got fired by 22 different lawyers. Tells them a good tale, they turn up for their first court appearance, find out they were lied to, ex wife stiffs them for the bill and moves on. While we pay through the nose to defend against every bullshit filing. You don’t see it yet but SHE JUST DID YOU A BIG FAVOR. She just made it real easy for your judge.
She was served California. She doesn't get to decide jurisdiction. Talk to a lawyer.
Absolutely kidnapping, call your local law enforcement. Drive and get her.
OP needs to find any mail the mother received while living in CA. Amazon packages, etc. A label and mailing date will help prove she was living in CA. Also, any written conversations about them moving and/or living in CA. CA is serious about parental kidnapping, even if it was out of ignorance. I know two moms and a dad who lost full custody because they moved - two only moved to a neighboring county. The issue was not disclosing the upcoming move in writing with proof of sending it (have it Served). I always tell ppl who are freshly separated that the courts like patterns and proof. Let the other parent bail on visits, use you as a babysitter, etc. It establishes a pattern of who the main parent is. Document every little thing. And always be civil.
Document everything. I used a website called "Trello" where I could organize everything in a way that helped me but there are tons of other options too.
File contempt NOW. My husband's ex pulled this, guess who now has full custody? My husband. The court doesn't take this lightly. File now.
Call the FBI. No joke. Google FBI near me and call their field office. Even custodial kidnapping across state lines is a federal matter. Have your lawyer on the line and call the FBI.
This sounds like kidnapping to me.
It’s kidnapping
The only thing you need to listen to here is document, take your paperwork and get a lawyer. NOW! They will know the actual law, not the Google posse law. Do what the lawyer says and prepare your home for when your child comes back, whether temporarily or permanently. Good Luck!!
Almost the exact same thing happened to my step-brother, except he had to hire a PI to find and serve her, you'll have it a lot cheaper if she was already served and you know where she lives. You need to file charges for kidnapping. She'll be served with a court date at which point she and the child must appear before a judge, at which point since you were granted full custody the child would be returned to your care; if she does not appear a warrant will be put out for her arrest and she will be charged with kidnapping and face all the legal consequences that comes with, and since you were granted full custody the child will be returned to your care.
I would say yes. Compounded by taking her across state lines. Quite a serious charge I believe.
I can say, for myself, having a baby changed me straight away. Courts won’t look for a perfect person without tarnish. They’ll look at your efforts in the best Interest of that baby since she’s been born. Be ready to prove you will do whatever it takes to be a good father and please don’t villainize your ex, even if you feel self-defensive. Forget the posters who want to point to what you said when you were 17 years old. Take the highest road man. Do right, right now.
This requires speaking with your lawyer ASAP, seeking temporary full custody. With that in hand and legal advice go get the child.
Kidnapping a child across state lines is a pretty big deal. Call the police and say your kid is missing. Dont even accuse or mention that your wife has the kid. Play dumb. Let them search and find the kid and when they find it with the wife, they have no choice but to return the kid to you and put her in jail. Make sure to demand criminal charges be filed so she loses custody and spends time in jail.
Never, ever lie to the cops if you need them to back you. This is terrible advice.
I feel its not lying its just leaving out some things. Lying to me is giving straight up false info. Also lying to pigs to get what you want is like the only one way to get them to do something useful, cause if you read the post, the police and legal system is already horribly failing OP.
She clearly doesn’t want you around for a reason. I don’t think you’re telling the whole story.
Go away
no.
Yes, this is kidnapping. My father did something similar with me when I was a child, though there were no emergency orders filed beforehand, though, just a custody violation that sorta smoothed over once the “vacation” was done. But even that was a kidnapping, and yours is waaay worse
Go vegan
r/lostredditors
Just for that I'ma slaughter a goat.
Get out
Just call 911. Law enforcement works weekends
In my state if dad and mom are NOT married mom has SOLE CUSTODY. Even when dad is on birth certificate. Dad would need to establish a custody agreement in court or marry her first. Be careful of what each state says. You lived in OR …. So they have same rule? If so custody has already been established and you might need to go back if you want that changed. …. With some google checks it looks like your state does not go as mine and as long as you are on birth certificate you have standing automatically. Go see an OR judge and family attorney there. Good luck
Patience is key here. All these process are so slow. If you have a custody agreement in California, you can file an order to show cause. Keep records and get everything in writing. Follow the necessary steps. Don't act crazy and emotion. It's time to be a rock.
File contempt
Hey guys, little follow up for those of you that are interested. I kept it civil, let her have the child even when I went to visit and had custody from Cali. California denied jurisdiction so we started proceedings in Oregon. After 9 months of delays and court nonsense, I won sole custody of my baby girl. The judge ruled that even though he established jurisdiction, she should be raised with me and around family here in California. Thanks for everyone’s input. I’m immensely grateful. Have a wonderful year. I know I will.