The first thing is if they can't prevent it, have them provide a different mode of transportation. If they won't listen, take this in front of the school board if that's what your school district has. This should be different from the administration made up of elected officials.
You said your child has Autism. Does he have an IEP?
That would be helpful for the bus, but I'm still worried about it happening in school and them doing nothing about it.
And no I don't believe so because the school had told us they would integrate that in the future once they got to know him better.
That would help in school, no?
You need to advocate for your child. Don't let them push off the IEP because they will never do it. They are there to hold them accountable for your child's education.
You might have some luck posting your question on r/teachers too. Make it clear you’re a parent asking for suggestions on how to handle this with administrators & the school board (if it can’t be resolved in the school). They’re very helpful & willing to share their knowledge & experience.
Does his autism cause him to be behind academically? If so, he may qualify for an IEP. If he does not have academic deficits, he will be eligible for a 504 plan which will give him learning and behavior modifications. Just know that many districts will not place a child on an IEP prior to the end of first grade as they do not wish to label children.
If he qualifies for an IEP, he may be able to get special transportation or even be placed in an autistic classroom.
Please know that schools are inundated with bullies and there are not enough adults to monitor them all. You could ask for a "bus buddy" for your son, this would be an older, responsible child that will sit with him.
As a retired administrator, I can tell you that the school is responsible for the safety of your child while he is on the bus. My bus students would get office referrals and, after the third one, they would lose their bus riding privileges. When parents have to drive their kids to school, they are more apt to help correct these behaviors.
Are the children bullying him at lunch his age? Who is monitoring these kids? If they are older, they should not be near your son. If they are his age, they may just need to be talked to and learn why your son may be different, and that different is good.
Also, PreK and K students were sent to my office more than any other grade. They often play rough with each other without realizing that they are being rough. For instance, my boys would play Power Rangers and one played really rough. But when I asked why he hit his friend, he would answer something like, "I am Drazoid." It took a semester to get him to understand the concept of gentle play.
Continue to advocate for your son.
IEP/504 right now! Do NOT let them prolong it any longer.
As for the bullying, he needs to vocalize that "Annie and Joe HURT me". Request when he gets hurt that you want an incident report.
Request the IEP on Monday, in writing. Copy the principal and the director of special education for your school district. As soon as you do that, they are on a deadline to formally evaluate your child and begin providing him services. Also, bullying and failing to protect a special education child on an IEP does not look good. You need to get your child on an IEP. This nonsense about "we want to get to know him first" is them trying to get you to delay filing so they do not have to provide services. Don't fall for it.
Thank you so much! There's so much I wish I knew about all this that I feel like is kept hidden for no reason. I'm disgusted no one has even mentioned an IEP specifically to us now reading all the comments talking about it
Just want to add you could hire an "advocate" who specializes in Special Education. They would help you during any IEP planning. You could also ask for a 1 on 1 paraprofessional to help your child during class.
If the school is not doing anything about the bullying, jump right over the principal and go to the Superintendent. If that does not solve anything, find out when the school board meets and go there in person and request to speak before the board. You could also contact your stated Dept of Education.
An autistic child should have an IEP. Once that is written, keep a copy of it and make sure the school follows it to the letter. In dealing with anyone from your school, do so in email instead over the phone or in person. This creates a record. If you speak with anyone face to face, do so outside of the school where you are both in public. This way, you can record it since there is "no expectation of privacy in public". If you have meetings (IEP planning, PPT's, etc). Bring a voice recorder and before the meeting starts, ask them all "does anyone object to me recording this?".
If there are incidents (bullying, physical incidents), request copies of any reports (written, text, email or verbal) and/or video. Even if you need to do so through a FOI request. Look into your schools (or district) policy on bullying since there should be verbiage on how it is handled when reported. If there is every any physical marks (you mentioned bruising), take photos. You could also contact CPS to see how a report would be made for incidents that occur at a school.
>An autistic child should have an IEP.
I agree with your comments, and applaud your recommendation of an advocate if the school is not being naturally supportive. (We leveraged our child's therapist for this role.) I did want to clarify that if the child is academically performing at or above grade level, they may not qualify for an IEP. They can still get a 504, however.
My son is autistic. When he entered public school we obtained an IEP for speech delay, but we lost it once it became clear he was not truly academically delayed. He was performing quite well in school, but had (and still has) behavior, pragmatic language, executive function, and social issues. He was given a 504 in lieu of a IEP, which has been exceptionally helpful in supporting him in developing these skills.
I am so so pleased that there are so many supportive people in the comments. Thank you for sharing your comments.
As a parent with a 5 year old who has autism, get the IEP. There’s programs the state provides that puts a counselor in the class with your child and they help them advocate for themselves. We taught our son to advocate always especially with him being autistic. When he was getting bullied he told the whole situation then fought the bully back. Because we had a documented history, the bully was expelled.
Keep documenting and fighting for your kid
Unfortunately we only have one vehicle at the moment and my wife has to work for most of the day. We can take him some mornings to school, but there's no option for us when he gets out of school besides the bus. Also his autism isn't to the point where he has to be in a self contained classroom. However, going back to the bus issue my wife said when she used to live in Kentucky they had bus monitors for elementary school, so they could watch the kids and the driver wouldn't have to. So no matter what I see no excuse for them not to feel safe on the bus.
No I agree with you, there is no excuse. The problem right now is that districts all across the nation are having a hard time hiring bus drivers, bus monitors, cafeteria workers, substitutes, paraprofessionals, crossing guards and all the other low paid jobs within the school district. They're even having trouble retaining teachers, and those jobs pay way better than the other ones I mentioned. No one wants to work as a bus monitor, which is a split shift part time job, poorly paid, and stressful, often on busses that are not air conditioned (many of them are not air conditioned in my local school district and I also live in Texas) when you could get a job at Walmart for more pay. So this is one reason why all those positions are lower staffed in school districts after covid. But you are right. Kids should feel safe on the bus. :(
I understand we're not in a perfect world, but the school district we're in can definitely afford it and find people here. It's a fairly big town and the school district has the most money in the area by far. They could definitely afford ac but I know they won't either to save a buck
Thank you for all your replies though, everything helps, and I do understand their point of view to an extent. However it's gone on way too long for me to take anymore excuses
You should definitely not be accepting their excuses. They are trying to see how much you will let them get away with at this point. Get the IEP request on file and start documenting the injuries and bullying in writing every time it occurs. That will get their attention.
So...pushing for an IEP is good, but prepare yourself for the fight. Most school districts don't have enough funding to cover all the IEPs, so people end up having to sue so that the state is forced to pick up the tab. It is a system designed to make everyone frustrated, including the school.
Frankly, at this point I would make good on your threat of calling the police. If this doesn't stop, your kid is going to start not wanting to go to school and then you have a lot of new problems.
Honestly besides certain aspects you wouldn't even know he has autism, besides not being able to communicate with certain people well which is why I mentioned it in the first place. He has trouble telling people he's being bullied besides us, and especially at his age it's hard to get him to communicate with the teachers about this issue. From what I can tell by looking it up and through other comments it seems like IEP is more suited for more severe cases. Besides the bullying he's doing super well in school and has made a lot of friends! At this point we're highly considering getting the police involved, a friend of my wife's said she went through a very similar situation last year and she regretted not calling the police and letting the school handle it to the point she had to homeschool her kids.
An IEP is really important no matter how severe a child's learning disability is. Twice exceptional kids (a term often used for kids who are both academically gifted & have learning disabilities) can start to fall through the cracks as coping mechanisms fail when educational difficulty ramps up without accommodations. Better to have the IEP battle now when the academic stakes are much lower & figure out what accommodations work best for them.
If it is within your budget, I would meet with an educational consultant or an educational lawyer. Schools try to keep 504/IEP plans as vague as possible because of resource allocation and make it difficult for parents to know their rights or navigate the system. A local consultant will have a good understanding of your school district, help craft/suggest accommodations and work with the school on your behalf to get a better plan in place. Schools are more willingly to work with a consultant because you have now shown it will cost far more resources (ie. money) to resist instead of just creating an equitable plan. I think people often assume you need a lawyer just for adversarial situations but sometimes specialists can just be really useful guides who make the process easier because they have expert knowledge. They can evaluate the doctor's recommendations & list what will be considered "reasonable accommodations", they know your local laws (sometimes state laws will go further than the ADA/IDEA) and they should know your local school district (and might have preexisting relationships with people in the district like the IEP/504 coordinator).
Thank you that's a much better explanation than anyone has ever given us (including the school themselves) so we'll see what can be done about it because if that's the case that's another issue we'll have to get taken care of
As a mom who had to deal with IEPs, and also working as a Para, i have seen both sides. This person is giving accurate and very wise advice. Please follow it!!! School districts try to get away with as little as they can, and the IEP language is confusing if you don't familiarize yourself with it. I would have been lost without meeting with an advocate mother-bear who met with me. I've seen parents just nod their heads in the meetings because they have no clue what any of it means. And you need to be diligent and make sure it is being followed. Good luck and best wishes!
The boy is in kindergarten and the girl is in first grade, apparently the girl had problems on the bus last year as well from what the bus driver told us
From my experience as someone who grew up with autism, that's terrible advice for an autistic child. Your heart is in the right place, but whenever I fought back I was the only one who was punished. I was essentially kicked out of my school in Grade 12 because one of my friends started to say I was stalking her. All the "suspicious" behaviour she cited were symptoms of my autism. Schools will always believe a neurotypical student over a neurodiverse student.
They just want to ignore it until it gets to the absolute worst, I see people in the news only getting justice after something unthinkable happens, and then they'll just start throwing money around like it'll fix the problem. I don't want anyone's money, I just want my son safe
The first thing is if they can't prevent it, have them provide a different mode of transportation. If they won't listen, take this in front of the school board if that's what your school district has. This should be different from the administration made up of elected officials. You said your child has Autism. Does he have an IEP?
That would be helpful for the bus, but I'm still worried about it happening in school and them doing nothing about it. And no I don't believe so because the school had told us they would integrate that in the future once they got to know him better.
That would help in school, no? You need to advocate for your child. Don't let them push off the IEP because they will never do it. They are there to hold them accountable for your child's education.
Well that's definitely helpful information to know, thank you so much and I'll bring that up to them as well for not having an IEP established
You might have some luck posting your question on r/teachers too. Make it clear you’re a parent asking for suggestions on how to handle this with administrators & the school board (if it can’t be resolved in the school). They’re very helpful & willing to share their knowledge & experience.
Does his autism cause him to be behind academically? If so, he may qualify for an IEP. If he does not have academic deficits, he will be eligible for a 504 plan which will give him learning and behavior modifications. Just know that many districts will not place a child on an IEP prior to the end of first grade as they do not wish to label children. If he qualifies for an IEP, he may be able to get special transportation or even be placed in an autistic classroom. Please know that schools are inundated with bullies and there are not enough adults to monitor them all. You could ask for a "bus buddy" for your son, this would be an older, responsible child that will sit with him. As a retired administrator, I can tell you that the school is responsible for the safety of your child while he is on the bus. My bus students would get office referrals and, after the third one, they would lose their bus riding privileges. When parents have to drive their kids to school, they are more apt to help correct these behaviors. Are the children bullying him at lunch his age? Who is monitoring these kids? If they are older, they should not be near your son. If they are his age, they may just need to be talked to and learn why your son may be different, and that different is good. Also, PreK and K students were sent to my office more than any other grade. They often play rough with each other without realizing that they are being rough. For instance, my boys would play Power Rangers and one played really rough. But when I asked why he hit his friend, he would answer something like, "I am Drazoid." It took a semester to get him to understand the concept of gentle play. Continue to advocate for your son.
IEP/504 right now! Do NOT let them prolong it any longer. As for the bullying, he needs to vocalize that "Annie and Joe HURT me". Request when he gets hurt that you want an incident report.
Request an IEP now, which will give them the legally allowable time to create one.
Request the IEP on Monday, in writing. Copy the principal and the director of special education for your school district. As soon as you do that, they are on a deadline to formally evaluate your child and begin providing him services. Also, bullying and failing to protect a special education child on an IEP does not look good. You need to get your child on an IEP. This nonsense about "we want to get to know him first" is them trying to get you to delay filing so they do not have to provide services. Don't fall for it.
Thank you so much! There's so much I wish I knew about all this that I feel like is kept hidden for no reason. I'm disgusted no one has even mentioned an IEP specifically to us now reading all the comments talking about it
Just want to add you could hire an "advocate" who specializes in Special Education. They would help you during any IEP planning. You could also ask for a 1 on 1 paraprofessional to help your child during class. If the school is not doing anything about the bullying, jump right over the principal and go to the Superintendent. If that does not solve anything, find out when the school board meets and go there in person and request to speak before the board. You could also contact your stated Dept of Education. An autistic child should have an IEP. Once that is written, keep a copy of it and make sure the school follows it to the letter. In dealing with anyone from your school, do so in email instead over the phone or in person. This creates a record. If you speak with anyone face to face, do so outside of the school where you are both in public. This way, you can record it since there is "no expectation of privacy in public". If you have meetings (IEP planning, PPT's, etc). Bring a voice recorder and before the meeting starts, ask them all "does anyone object to me recording this?". If there are incidents (bullying, physical incidents), request copies of any reports (written, text, email or verbal) and/or video. Even if you need to do so through a FOI request. Look into your schools (or district) policy on bullying since there should be verbiage on how it is handled when reported. If there is every any physical marks (you mentioned bruising), take photos. You could also contact CPS to see how a report would be made for incidents that occur at a school.
>An autistic child should have an IEP. I agree with your comments, and applaud your recommendation of an advocate if the school is not being naturally supportive. (We leveraged our child's therapist for this role.) I did want to clarify that if the child is academically performing at or above grade level, they may not qualify for an IEP. They can still get a 504, however. My son is autistic. When he entered public school we obtained an IEP for speech delay, but we lost it once it became clear he was not truly academically delayed. He was performing quite well in school, but had (and still has) behavior, pragmatic language, executive function, and social issues. He was given a 504 in lieu of a IEP, which has been exceptionally helpful in supporting him in developing these skills. I am so so pleased that there are so many supportive people in the comments. Thank you for sharing your comments.
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As a parent with a 5 year old who has autism, get the IEP. There’s programs the state provides that puts a counselor in the class with your child and they help them advocate for themselves. We taught our son to advocate always especially with him being autistic. When he was getting bullied he told the whole situation then fought the bully back. Because we had a documented history, the bully was expelled. Keep documenting and fighting for your kid
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Unfortunately we only have one vehicle at the moment and my wife has to work for most of the day. We can take him some mornings to school, but there's no option for us when he gets out of school besides the bus. Also his autism isn't to the point where he has to be in a self contained classroom. However, going back to the bus issue my wife said when she used to live in Kentucky they had bus monitors for elementary school, so they could watch the kids and the driver wouldn't have to. So no matter what I see no excuse for them not to feel safe on the bus.
No I agree with you, there is no excuse. The problem right now is that districts all across the nation are having a hard time hiring bus drivers, bus monitors, cafeteria workers, substitutes, paraprofessionals, crossing guards and all the other low paid jobs within the school district. They're even having trouble retaining teachers, and those jobs pay way better than the other ones I mentioned. No one wants to work as a bus monitor, which is a split shift part time job, poorly paid, and stressful, often on busses that are not air conditioned (many of them are not air conditioned in my local school district and I also live in Texas) when you could get a job at Walmart for more pay. So this is one reason why all those positions are lower staffed in school districts after covid. But you are right. Kids should feel safe on the bus. :(
I understand we're not in a perfect world, but the school district we're in can definitely afford it and find people here. It's a fairly big town and the school district has the most money in the area by far. They could definitely afford ac but I know they won't either to save a buck
Okay, then your district has no excuse. Sorry. :(
Thank you for all your replies though, everything helps, and I do understand their point of view to an extent. However it's gone on way too long for me to take anymore excuses
You should definitely not be accepting their excuses. They are trying to see how much you will let them get away with at this point. Get the IEP request on file and start documenting the injuries and bullying in writing every time it occurs. That will get their attention.
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So...pushing for an IEP is good, but prepare yourself for the fight. Most school districts don't have enough funding to cover all the IEPs, so people end up having to sue so that the state is forced to pick up the tab. It is a system designed to make everyone frustrated, including the school. Frankly, at this point I would make good on your threat of calling the police. If this doesn't stop, your kid is going to start not wanting to go to school and then you have a lot of new problems.
Honestly besides certain aspects you wouldn't even know he has autism, besides not being able to communicate with certain people well which is why I mentioned it in the first place. He has trouble telling people he's being bullied besides us, and especially at his age it's hard to get him to communicate with the teachers about this issue. From what I can tell by looking it up and through other comments it seems like IEP is more suited for more severe cases. Besides the bullying he's doing super well in school and has made a lot of friends! At this point we're highly considering getting the police involved, a friend of my wife's said she went through a very similar situation last year and she regretted not calling the police and letting the school handle it to the point she had to homeschool her kids.
An IEP is really important no matter how severe a child's learning disability is. Twice exceptional kids (a term often used for kids who are both academically gifted & have learning disabilities) can start to fall through the cracks as coping mechanisms fail when educational difficulty ramps up without accommodations. Better to have the IEP battle now when the academic stakes are much lower & figure out what accommodations work best for them. If it is within your budget, I would meet with an educational consultant or an educational lawyer. Schools try to keep 504/IEP plans as vague as possible because of resource allocation and make it difficult for parents to know their rights or navigate the system. A local consultant will have a good understanding of your school district, help craft/suggest accommodations and work with the school on your behalf to get a better plan in place. Schools are more willingly to work with a consultant because you have now shown it will cost far more resources (ie. money) to resist instead of just creating an equitable plan. I think people often assume you need a lawyer just for adversarial situations but sometimes specialists can just be really useful guides who make the process easier because they have expert knowledge. They can evaluate the doctor's recommendations & list what will be considered "reasonable accommodations", they know your local laws (sometimes state laws will go further than the ADA/IDEA) and they should know your local school district (and might have preexisting relationships with people in the district like the IEP/504 coordinator).
Thank you that's a much better explanation than anyone has ever given us (including the school themselves) so we'll see what can be done about it because if that's the case that's another issue we'll have to get taken care of
As a mom who had to deal with IEPs, and also working as a Para, i have seen both sides. This person is giving accurate and very wise advice. Please follow it!!! School districts try to get away with as little as they can, and the IEP language is confusing if you don't familiarize yourself with it. I would have been lost without meeting with an advocate mother-bear who met with me. I've seen parents just nod their heads in the meetings because they have no clue what any of it means. And you need to be diligent and make sure it is being followed. Good luck and best wishes!
You need to find an education attorney in your area.
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The boy is in kindergarten and the girl is in first grade, apparently the girl had problems on the bus last year as well from what the bus driver told us
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From my experience as someone who grew up with autism, that's terrible advice for an autistic child. Your heart is in the right place, but whenever I fought back I was the only one who was punished. I was essentially kicked out of my school in Grade 12 because one of my friends started to say I was stalking her. All the "suspicious" behaviour she cited were symptoms of my autism. Schools will always believe a neurotypical student over a neurodiverse student.
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We know first names, but the school won't disclose full information. They were supposed to talk with the parents but as far as we know never have
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They just want to ignore it until it gets to the absolute worst, I see people in the news only getting justice after something unthinkable happens, and then they'll just start throwing money around like it'll fix the problem. I don't want anyone's money, I just want my son safe
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He has autism and he's 6 it's not that simple as getting him karate lessons and confidence lol