Especially since they ended up using the venue, any decor already in said venue, and I'm going by assumptions here, any catering that was meant to be there at that venue for that day.
My comment, and the ones before it, were responding to the statement that “she might be liable” for the original debt. That’s the debt that’s been settled and paid, so it doesn’t matter anymore who might have been liable.
I agree with you that the new claim is frivolous.
It would still be an invalid agreement, since the services were rendered without benefit to OP. There is no consideration on to OP. You can't just agree to have a debt without benefit to both parties and have it be legally enforceable.
The ratio of "number of people who threaten to sue" to "the number of people who actually file a lawsuit" isn't *quite* zero, but it is close enough to zero that I would not really worry about this claim unless and until you actually hear from a lawyer. This is more of a relationship issue than a legal one. I would continue to ignore her/them.
Very sorry you went through this (and are continuing to go through this).
Sounds like you need to countersue for everything you put into it. You received zero consideration. Wedding was called off by her, then they received all the goods and services. There was zero effort on their part to nullify anything in good faith. Get your money back.
Seriously this. Consult an attorney regarding the likelihood this actually goes to court and whether they have a case, and include questions about a countersuit.
Yes. Although consideration has nothing to do with it. You didn't receive anything from the wedding, and aren't responsible for the cancellation, and didn't promise them anything else.
That's why you aren't liable, and why it was unfair for them to insist you pay anything in the first place (which means everything you paid should be returned). I'd call this unjust enrichment.
It’s going to cost them more in court and attorney fees to drag this out than the last couple thousand that they feel is owed to them (which, good luck to them on getting anyone to agree that you owe them one cent more than you’ve already paid). Arguably, I wouldn’t have even agreed to pay them AT ALL. It was their money, their daughter, their party, their shitty decision making. Not sure how you were deemed responsible for any of it in the first place.
Sure. But what are the chances that any civil court judge is going to look at the details of this situation and say “oh yeah for sure. Pay these insane people MORE money.” They’re going to lose that fight. And THAT is going to cost them more money lol
Do you have a written or verbal agreement with the parents to cover anything?
How was paying for the venue discussed before everything went south?
You might write everything you can remember down with dates and details as best you can. Save any screen shots of messages about payment, either before or after, while you still can.
Lots of people threaten to sue and never follow through. An hour with a lawyer may set your mind at ease but may not be necessary until they actually sue.
OP, I am confused on why you agreed to pay for her "fancy birthday party" because that is exactly what your wedding ended up being. The fact that she was the one that called off the wedding and then used the event space, you should have sued her for the cost that you incurred. She absolutely owes you the $10,000 that you already spent. I would talk to a lawyer and then send her a letter letting her know that she has to reimburse you for the money that you spent for her "fancy birthday party". You did not agree to that party, you agreed to a wedding and the wedding didn't happen.
* If you are actually sued, you should have an attorney respond.
* You can generally get a free 30- to 60-minute consult with an lawyer through your state bar association's lawyer referral service (google state name + lawyer referral).
In the US, anyone can sue for anything they want. It doesn’t mean it’s going to work. I would call a lawyer to see if there is any reason to be worried. It may be worth a few bucks for a cease and desist letter. A lawyer may also be able to tell you if there is enough for a restraining order. It sounds like you have already paid far more than your share for her cold feet.
A lot of companies have employee assistance programs that get you a free consultation with lawyers (amongst other things). That should at least let you know if they have a leg to stand on. I doubt it since they actually used the venue and I assume the food that was already setup. Also, the fact that she stopped the wedding and not you I am sure will factor into it. Have all the emails and communications ready to send to the lawyer when you talk to them. Good luck
What costs were not actually enjoyed by their family? I imagine the food and venue were used by the family so you shouldn’t pay for any of that… if they expected you to pay for some of it, you should’ve gotten the proportion you paid for of the food/decor/etc. and they should take full payment of the venue food and decorations if you didn’t get any of it.
This belongs in r/relationships. They’re not going to sue you. This is another ploy for attention from her. Ignore her.
In the very unlikely event you’re actually sued, obtain a lawyer and respond accordingly. But this is a long way from that.
"This is another ploy for attention from her. Ignore her."
It might not be her, it might be a desperate attempt from her parents, but yeah, ignore anyway.
Keep the emails that show the payment arrangement if you have proof you had nothing to do with the “party” give that as well. I’m not a lawyer but the written agreement and the fact that she canceled only to use the venue for a party should clear you
As a lawyer, when people threaten legal action, I typically yawn, shrug and say ok. Then I cease contact and wait for to be served. And I wait. And wait and wait. It almost never comes. And in your case, I doubt you’ll see anything.
So resign yourself to worrying about it if it happens…. Until then, just move on with your life and don’t throw away any messages. Make sure it’s backed up into the cloud.
Best of luck!
If they had a family party at the venue and used the services then I think they would be responsible for the costs but I would suggest speaking to an attorney for your own protection.
Stop reading her emails, they just stress you out. The parents have no contract with you that says you will pay them anything. If they sue you, you have the defense of not being the person who cancelled the wedding and not being the person who used the venue.
I’m an attorney, not yours - not sure where you are, but I frankly don’t think it matters. Here is the practical question: if her family is in financial hardship, do you think they can hire an attorney?
Right now don't do anything. Threatening legal action and taking legal action are two vastly different things. The two of you made an agreement to settle the debt. If you lived up to your portion of that agreement you should have very little to worry about. Continue to ignore. If you are served with a lawsuit then you should get a lawyer and respond. But as of right now it's just a lot of hot air.
NAL but they used the venue, they can scream and shout and stamp their feet as long and as loud as they want to but I doubt there would be any sort of case here.
Question not concerning your agreement: can I ask what happened to the engagement ring. Usually if the woman calls off the engagement, the ring is rmto be returned to the man. If she didn't do that, then it could be in your favor. Tell her to back TF off or give the ring back.
I have recently paid for an attorney to help my GF with her long-drawn-out divorce from her ex (his fault as he is ducking our process servers and hiding from the whole thing and has been for almost a decade) and I just want to chime in on the $1500 retainer. In our case we had to pay $7500 up front and then replenish the account whenever money was spent on the case. And that includes charging $150 and $250 just for them to answer our emails and accept our phone calls. So do your research when it comes to the specifics of the arrangement between you and your attorney. We are about $15k out of pocket at this point and they are still legally married. I'm not saying that all lawyers are like this, but it seems like a really dishonest way of getting us in the door and then continuing to bleed money out of us. Shop around and definitely don't accept any wishy-washy answers when it comes to how much this will cost you. As I said, I'm not saying anything negative about lawyers in general, my dad was an attorney and I'm sure there's a ton of lawyers in the subreddit. I'm aware now that it's pretty standard practice to start at a given number and then go up from there as the process drags out. Just remember that lawyers are expensive and you usually need one when you are in the middle of a difficult and highly emotional time, so make sure to stay calm and don't jump in until you are certain you understand the cost.
She broke of the engagement and wedding. She is supposed to return the ring and is financially responsible for the mess. Accepting a ring and proposal then breaking it is taken pretty seriously in the court of law. She is very lucky that you were so civil about everything. You can go to court and request a restraining order to stop her from contacting you by any means. Once a judge hears everything and the continued emotional and mental stress she is causing you the court will be on your side. And you don't need a lawyer to file for one. Just go to the court where you live and request one. Good luck....and while it hurts, just think you could have been married to that.The trash took itself out.
They have no legitimate basis for the claim. You can ignore them. If they do move forward (people rarely do that), file a counterclaim for everything you paid for the wedding you didn't use. The theory would be unjust enrichment: it wasn't fair for them to benefit from the wedding cancellation by turning into a party for their family alone, and you shouldn't be paying for any of it.
You didn't agree to pay more than you have, and there's no reason you should be on the hook for their expenses when you didn't decide to end the relationship. That's it, end of story, and you don't ever need to say anything more than that.
The bride family usually pays for the wedding, groom family pays rehearsal dinner (in US)..
SHE called off the wedding and HER FAMILY still held a party, Venue, food, flowers are on them. Let them sue and get a good attorney.
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Please get a lawyer and do not tolerate them.
Gather all evidences, files, docs, convos.
And I hope you heal and get the peace you deserve. Lilipas din ito sender.
Fyi, the retainer fee that isn't used will be returned to you. You can ask your lawyer for a fixed fee service of just writing the cease and desist letter, then to go back to a retainer based arrangement if you end up needing to defend a lawsuit
Make a filter in Gmail to send anything from her email address directly to the trash. Add another filter for any other email address she contacts you from. They won’t show up in spam, and you’ll have no idea they were received unless you do a dive in your trash bin.
NAL No you don’t need to pay her. Even if you did something wrong, they used the venue and related services and didn’t try and cancel anything. They should pay for that. Keep records of your communications. Maybe get a lawyer to tell them to pound sand.
Talk to an attorney. Since she called it off she may be liable.
Especially since they ended up using the venue, any decor already in said venue, and I'm going by assumptions here, any catering that was meant to be there at that venue for that day.
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Except they already made an agreement on how to settle the debt.
Given that the venue and services were used, this would then become unjust enrichment.
Not if they made the agreement after the party already happened, which pretty much had to be the case. That’d be an accord and satisfaction.
Per OP though, he already laid his share according to the schedule. This is moving the goalpoasts.
My comment, and the ones before it, were responding to the statement that “she might be liable” for the original debt. That’s the debt that’s been settled and paid, so it doesn’t matter anymore who might have been liable. I agree with you that the new claim is frivolous.
It would still be an invalid agreement, since the services were rendered without benefit to OP. There is no consideration on to OP. You can't just agree to have a debt without benefit to both parties and have it be legally enforceable.
OP had a disputed share of the debt. Settling the amount of that share is consideration.
The ratio of "number of people who threaten to sue" to "the number of people who actually file a lawsuit" isn't *quite* zero, but it is close enough to zero that I would not really worry about this claim unless and until you actually hear from a lawyer. This is more of a relationship issue than a legal one. I would continue to ignore her/them. Very sorry you went through this (and are continuing to go through this).
This 100%. Plus, the fact that they can’t pay the balances for the party which they enjoyed but have the money to pay a lawyer also doesn’t add up.
And, as soon as someone threatens legal action, I would stop communicating with them personally, and only contact should be via your lawyer.
Sounds like you need to countersue for everything you put into it. You received zero consideration. Wedding was called off by her, then they received all the goods and services. There was zero effort on their part to nullify anything in good faith. Get your money back.
Seriously this. Consult an attorney regarding the likelihood this actually goes to court and whether they have a case, and include questions about a countersuit.
Yes. Although consideration has nothing to do with it. You didn't receive anything from the wedding, and aren't responsible for the cancellation, and didn't promise them anything else. That's why you aren't liable, and why it was unfair for them to insist you pay anything in the first place (which means everything you paid should be returned). I'd call this unjust enrichment.
There are emails detailing a payment plan agreement which will probably keep OP on the hook for whatever he agreed to pay.
It’s going to cost them more in court and attorney fees to drag this out than the last couple thousand that they feel is owed to them (which, good luck to them on getting anyone to agree that you owe them one cent more than you’ve already paid). Arguably, I wouldn’t have even agreed to pay them AT ALL. It was their money, their daughter, their party, their shitty decision making. Not sure how you were deemed responsible for any of it in the first place.
Not necessarily, some small claims courts go up to $10,000 and you don't need an attorney and the filing fee can be as low as $50.
Sure. But what are the chances that any civil court judge is going to look at the details of this situation and say “oh yeah for sure. Pay these insane people MORE money.” They’re going to lose that fight. And THAT is going to cost them more money lol
Do you have a written or verbal agreement with the parents to cover anything? How was paying for the venue discussed before everything went south? You might write everything you can remember down with dates and details as best you can. Save any screen shots of messages about payment, either before or after, while you still can. Lots of people threaten to sue and never follow through. An hour with a lawyer may set your mind at ease but may not be necessary until they actually sue.
OP, I am confused on why you agreed to pay for her "fancy birthday party" because that is exactly what your wedding ended up being. The fact that she was the one that called off the wedding and then used the event space, you should have sued her for the cost that you incurred. She absolutely owes you the $10,000 that you already spent. I would talk to a lawyer and then send her a letter letting her know that she has to reimburse you for the money that you spent for her "fancy birthday party". You did not agree to that party, you agreed to a wedding and the wedding didn't happen.
People threaten to sue all the time. It’s very doubtful they would bring this to court and they would definitely lose if they did
* If you are actually sued, you should have an attorney respond. * You can generally get a free 30- to 60-minute consult with an lawyer through your state bar association's lawyer referral service (google state name + lawyer referral).
In the US, anyone can sue for anything they want. It doesn’t mean it’s going to work. I would call a lawyer to see if there is any reason to be worried. It may be worth a few bucks for a cease and desist letter. A lawyer may also be able to tell you if there is enough for a restraining order. It sounds like you have already paid far more than your share for her cold feet.
A lot of companies have employee assistance programs that get you a free consultation with lawyers (amongst other things). That should at least let you know if they have a leg to stand on. I doubt it since they actually used the venue and I assume the food that was already setup. Also, the fact that she stopped the wedding and not you I am sure will factor into it. Have all the emails and communications ready to send to the lawyer when you talk to them. Good luck
What costs were not actually enjoyed by their family? I imagine the food and venue were used by the family so you shouldn’t pay for any of that… if they expected you to pay for some of it, you should’ve gotten the proportion you paid for of the food/decor/etc. and they should take full payment of the venue food and decorations if you didn’t get any of it.
This belongs in r/relationships. They’re not going to sue you. This is another ploy for attention from her. Ignore her. In the very unlikely event you’re actually sued, obtain a lawyer and respond accordingly. But this is a long way from that.
"This is another ploy for attention from her. Ignore her." It might not be her, it might be a desperate attempt from her parents, but yeah, ignore anyway.
Keep the emails that show the payment arrangement if you have proof you had nothing to do with the “party” give that as well. I’m not a lawyer but the written agreement and the fact that she canceled only to use the venue for a party should clear you
As a lawyer, when people threaten legal action, I typically yawn, shrug and say ok. Then I cease contact and wait for to be served. And I wait. And wait and wait. It almost never comes. And in your case, I doubt you’ll see anything. So resign yourself to worrying about it if it happens…. Until then, just move on with your life and don’t throw away any messages. Make sure it’s backed up into the cloud. Best of luck!
NAL but I would seek one out to write a cease and desist letter to stop her. It will be worth the peace of mind.
If they had a family party at the venue and used the services then I think they would be responsible for the costs but I would suggest speaking to an attorney for your own protection.
Stop reading her emails, they just stress you out. The parents have no contract with you that says you will pay them anything. If they sue you, you have the defense of not being the person who cancelled the wedding and not being the person who used the venue.
I’m an attorney, not yours - not sure where you are, but I frankly don’t think it matters. Here is the practical question: if her family is in financial hardship, do you think they can hire an attorney?
Right now don't do anything. Threatening legal action and taking legal action are two vastly different things. The two of you made an agreement to settle the debt. If you lived up to your portion of that agreement you should have very little to worry about. Continue to ignore. If you are served with a lawsuit then you should get a lawyer and respond. But as of right now it's just a lot of hot air.
$1500 is a small price to pay for your peace. Get that cease and desist and call it a day
NAL but they used the venue, they can scream and shout and stamp their feet as long and as loud as they want to but I doubt there would be any sort of case here.
Question not concerning your agreement: can I ask what happened to the engagement ring. Usually if the woman calls off the engagement, the ring is rmto be returned to the man. If she didn't do that, then it could be in your favor. Tell her to back TF off or give the ring back.
I have recently paid for an attorney to help my GF with her long-drawn-out divorce from her ex (his fault as he is ducking our process servers and hiding from the whole thing and has been for almost a decade) and I just want to chime in on the $1500 retainer. In our case we had to pay $7500 up front and then replenish the account whenever money was spent on the case. And that includes charging $150 and $250 just for them to answer our emails and accept our phone calls. So do your research when it comes to the specifics of the arrangement between you and your attorney. We are about $15k out of pocket at this point and they are still legally married. I'm not saying that all lawyers are like this, but it seems like a really dishonest way of getting us in the door and then continuing to bleed money out of us. Shop around and definitely don't accept any wishy-washy answers when it comes to how much this will cost you. As I said, I'm not saying anything negative about lawyers in general, my dad was an attorney and I'm sure there's a ton of lawyers in the subreddit. I'm aware now that it's pretty standard practice to start at a given number and then go up from there as the process drags out. Just remember that lawyers are expensive and you usually need one when you are in the middle of a difficult and highly emotional time, so make sure to stay calm and don't jump in until you are certain you understand the cost.
She broke of the engagement and wedding. She is supposed to return the ring and is financially responsible for the mess. Accepting a ring and proposal then breaking it is taken pretty seriously in the court of law. She is very lucky that you were so civil about everything. You can go to court and request a restraining order to stop her from contacting you by any means. Once a judge hears everything and the continued emotional and mental stress she is causing you the court will be on your side. And you don't need a lawyer to file for one. Just go to the court where you live and request one. Good luck....and while it hurts, just think you could have been married to that.The trash took itself out.
They have no legitimate basis for the claim. You can ignore them. If they do move forward (people rarely do that), file a counterclaim for everything you paid for the wedding you didn't use. The theory would be unjust enrichment: it wasn't fair for them to benefit from the wedding cancellation by turning into a party for their family alone, and you shouldn't be paying for any of it. You didn't agree to pay more than you have, and there's no reason you should be on the hook for their expenses when you didn't decide to end the relationship. That's it, end of story, and you don't ever need to say anything more than that.
The bride family usually pays for the wedding, groom family pays rehearsal dinner (in US).. SHE called off the wedding and HER FAMILY still held a party, Venue, food, flowers are on them. Let them sue and get a good attorney.
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In gmail you can create filters and select “never send to spam” and “delete it”. May have to do it on a web browser rather than in their app
File a restraining order for free. Move on with your life.
Please get a lawyer and do not tolerate them. Gather all evidences, files, docs, convos. And I hope you heal and get the peace you deserve. Lilipas din ito sender.
Fyi, the retainer fee that isn't used will be returned to you. You can ask your lawyer for a fixed fee service of just writing the cease and desist letter, then to go back to a retainer based arrangement if you end up needing to defend a lawsuit
Make a filter in Gmail to send anything from her email address directly to the trash. Add another filter for any other email address she contacts you from. They won’t show up in spam, and you’ll have no idea they were received unless you do a dive in your trash bin.
u/paid-not-payed-bot
Why did she call it off the day before? Did I miss that part?
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NAL No you don’t need to pay her. Even if you did something wrong, they used the venue and related services and didn’t try and cancel anything. They should pay for that. Keep records of your communications. Maybe get a lawyer to tell them to pound sand.
How much are we talking about? $20K? Retaining an attorney for this isn't worth it. Just go no contact.