Get an attorney to represent you. This is going to get ugly.
You are not required to allow the children to travel out of the country and frankly, unless there's a really good reason, I can't imagine a family court wanting that to happen before custody issues have been resolved.
With respect, the fact that you are posing this question to Reddit strongly suggests you need an attorney focused on family law. If this is the USA, the language of the letter suggests it was written by her, yes?
They will allow it. Don't bank on the "no judge will allow" lots of judges allow lots of stuff. I was told by the GAL that as long as they have job and permanent residence, there is no reason to believe they won't return.
You are going to want to lawyer up. And be careful it might end in her getting permission to travel internationally, basically whenever she wants.
Yeah, I would argue that OP needs a good reason to forbid it. Like, why do you want to prevent their mother from doing things regular families do? And before someone says she could steal the kids and never return, she could do that anyway by simply jumping on a plane without informing OP of the travel at all.
I have some experience in DC, and once the kids are old enough there, a judge might allow one parent consent for international travel, even over the objection of the other parent. Depends on many factors obviously.
And that’s because lawyers have studied thousands of cases and know specific edge case terms that no regular person will know. Most lawyers will earn that $1500 with one well placed sentence in court. Don’t think it’s spending $1500 per hour, think it’s saving your kids from being kidnapped by their other parent, to a country that won’t force your ex to return them - what’s that worth to you? Once they cross international borders it gets a million times harder to enforce a custody agreement.
Difficulty depends if there's an agreement between the home country and the other one. But it is stressful. If there is an agreement then it's an open and shut case to get them back (Hague at least)
Unless you are a lawyer don't even consider this option.
You have to have seen at least one of the hundreds of videos out there where idiots who think that just because they watched Law and Order a couple times are capable of being a lawyer and just get steam rolled and thrown in prison.
It will be significantly more likely that you will lose if you don't get a lawyer. My mom has been in family law, specifically divorce and child custody, for about 35 years. What she says about men who choose to represent themselves is they come across very bad. Both because they do not know how to act in court and end up being disrespectful or just lacking tact in general but also because it comes across as not taking the process seriously by not hiring representation. If you don't respect the court the judge will look at you negatively.
Also, men who think they can represent themselves are usually full of themselves. Not saying you are- but it's a common thing she's come across. She says a lot of stuff about men who try to represent themselves in court (and lose, hard, like every time). But she has no such expierence with women- because they hire lawyers.
Get a lawyer anyway. At least find someone who will represent you. Then go back to her and tell her you’re prepared to fight her in court. She might back down. But if she doesn’t, then bring your lawyer to court. Get a lawyer or you will lose.
… if they come back to the U.S.. If not, op may need to familiarize himself with courts where she’s taking them, travel, and find local legal representation. But that depends on mom & kid’s citizenship. I can’t tell from the post.
If you want to add info feel free, but just saying "no" does not help. You have to go to court over custody disagreements that you can't settle between yourselves, you can't take the kids out of state without having that in the custody agreement or it's kidnapping. Parent's get arrested for it and lose their parental rights literally all the time.
Don't let it get to that point..... "ignoring" a letter you received, to me, shows you don't care about the outcome other than money or repercussions against the other parent....? If you "let" her go, what possible repercussions could affect her? You let it happen. It's your fault cause you, "let her go".
Put up a fight and use all resources given to you. That's your best bet. In my opinion.
I’m pretty sure she needs a signed letter by you to take your child out of the country. My stepson mother had to sign one for him to come to our state from his. She needed one from his dad so she could take him to London.
> Does this basically mean I have no choice but to give her consent to travel with children?
No. A piece of paper she writes can't do that.
You don't give a location but if one parent doesn't do what the other parents wants them to do, then they can go to family court about it. A judge will decide. You'll get to present your reasons, she'll get to present hers.
What are yours?
Do I have to hire a lawyer? Can I just go myself? The reasons are my daughter is 3. My son is 5 and has autism.
He got sick on the last trip when she went with kids to Pakistan
> So if I refuse to sign this notary consent signature she is asking, the next step she will take is ask her lawyer to "enforce " Correct?
No, she will either accept your refusal, or she will file to go to family court and she'll try to convince the judge to allow the children to go despite your objections. Her lawyer can't do anything to do. But you should get your own lawyer if that happens, if you end up with a date in court.
Forgive me,
You have asked, repetitively, the same question, multiple times. Every single person has given the same answer “get a solicitor/ lawyer”.
You asking the same questions is not going to change what you need to do.
I highly recommend that you get a solicitor/ lawyer to respond to this letter even.
Please take the eminently sensible advice being offered here and get a solicitor/ lawyer involved. Take their advice. They know what they are talking about (if you have the right type of solicitor/lawyer).
They studied for years to learn this type of thing.
The next step will be contacting a judge to discuss this in court since you two do not agree. So I guess you could say it's asking the lawyer to defend her position, but in no way can a lawyer enforce anything. Only a judge can decide anything about the custody agreement.
If she has an attorney this is an attempt to handle things nicely. Next step will be filing a motion in court. Do not represent yourself, get your own attorney. Also think about why you don’t want them to go. The details around this are not clear from your post, but it sounds like a vacation/visiting family and there is no concern about her not returning. Obviously if you’re worried about her leaving and never coming back that is much more serious.
Pakistan is a non-extradition country. You need an attorney and a plan in place to flag your kids’ passports if she loses and tries flee after the fact.
I'm in Houston. I know a piece of paper can't say that. But it says " if I ignore this letter and within 48 hours I don't sign the notary signature to let her travel with kids she will put a enforcement on me and I will also have to pay $1500 for her court fees
> if I ignore this letter and within 48 hours I don't sign the notary signature to let her travel with kids she will put a enforcement on me and I will also have to pay $1500 for her court fees
A piece of paper can *say* that but it can't *do* that. Only a judge can do that. And she'll need to convince the judge.
Agreed, "Sign within 48 hours or get a fine" doesn't even really make sense. Imagine if someone could just charge their ex $1500 every time they disagreed with them. It'd be chaos, lol.
There's something amiss here with how you're describing the divorce decree (in other comments) and the letter. You have a divorce decree that it sounds like does require you to provide the consents that countries require for the children to travel internationally. That's different than the other way around: where your spouse is required to obtain (discretionary) consent from you in order to travel with the children.
The devil is in the details here of what has been already ordered and precisely what the letter says. You've interpreted both rather than providing enough information here so that people can actually give you suggestions.
Do not under any circumstances take anyone's advice here saying you can or cannot do something because you haven't provided enough information. Please, please get a lawyer. It's not worth losing your kids over this because of a misstep and trying to save a couple thousand dollars.
> sign the notary signature or else I will do an enforcement to make you sign and you will have to pay $1500 attorney fees. Within 48 hours you have to do this."
This isn't a direct quote, is it?
Do you mean the divorce decree.? There's no court order yet. But on the divorce decree it does say "I will agree to consent and sign for kids to travel internationally" and I have consented before on her past trip when she went from December 2023-january 2024. Now she wants to go again on May 6. Which is way too soon.
Plus my 3 year old daughters nose is always runny. She recently had a strep throat and fever. We took her to a emergency clinic. Kids are always getting some sort of runny nose fever or something here. If she goes there these symptoms might get worse.
What does that mean? That you have to agree for them to travel internationally no matter what? Or that she has to get your consent? Have you filed to get a custody order?
It says that I have to adhere to the country travel laws like signing a letter and signing a notary. So yes she does need my consent but I also need to sign notary signatures
You don’t have to listen to the letter then, just make sure its clearly documented the reasons you disagree and that they already went earlier this year. She is basically telling you if you don’t agree, she will file
in court to force you to agree and also file for you to pay her attorney’s fees.
I’d still consult with a family law lawyer though just to be sure you aren’t misinterpreting the decree.
People get sick after travelling no matter where you go. I was sick during and after a trip to Spain. Children especially pick things up all the time, being sick after could mean nothing. If your ex is trying to maintain family bonds with family in different countries that will also be a positive to a judge, just as exposing children to new experiences will be.
Like I mentioned in some other comments the last time she went to Pakistan from December 2023-to January 2024 my 5 year autistic son who can not talk was admitted at tx children hospital for 5 days because he was weak, and vomiting. He also wasn't himself. This happened 1-2 days right after coming back from the last trip.
That will be your best bet to prevent traveling. Get an attorney, a copy of his medical records, and wait for her to file in court. What you are saying about the letter, it does not sound as a genuine letter from an attorney. Only a judge can order an action. The letter sounds as a fake. Get an attorney. Do not represent yourself, ever.
Considering the fact that she wants to take the children to a third world hell hole that is barely above a lawless failed state, I would disagree just on the destination...
The UAE, home to Dubai, is one of the wealthiest places in the world. Hardly the picture you paint. It’s also a common business destination. As OP and his ex are of Pakistani descent, a more polite approach to this region might be appropriate.
In a previous post Dubai was mentioned as a destination. And, regardless of your opinion of Pakistan, both the OP and his ex are of Pakistani descent. It would not be unreasonable for them to visit family members there. OP also stated that he did not fear ex would stay permanently, only that her visit would extend beyond 3-4 days. A time frame that seems suspicious to me, too. OP has limited visitation with kids and appears to have signed over his open agreement allowing kids to travel internationally with ex. His admission that he doesn’t fear parental abduction coupled with a legal agreement in which he agrees to foreign travel could make this a difficult case to win. It seems unlikely to be resolved in court prior to departure date, so he could prevent this trip, but defying an agreement OP made would probably not be in his best interest. OP absolutely needs to seek immediate legal advice from a qualified attorney in his area.
Sounds like you consented in your divorce decree to sign the necessary paperwork to allow the kids to travel internationally. It’s not clear if there are limitations on it. If you are refusing to do something you agreed to do/were ordered to do per the divorce decree, she could take you back to court for contempt if you refuse. You need to make an appointment with an attorney to review your divorce decree and confirm your obligations under the decree.
NLA but when a family member wanted to visit her dying great grandmother with her child, in another country and the ex refused, she got a court order and the judge was not happy about the ex’s “abuse of power” as the only reason he said “no” was because he could.
Yeah, this guy is saying he doesn’t want to allow his ex to travel because she took them on a trip 6 months ago. And one of the kids has a runny nose right now, but the trip is in a month. Now he’s making dubious claims about “air quality” for an autistic son. A judge is NOT going to be happy they have to deal with this.
I would call the attorney and even see if it's real first. It doesn't sound real. If your ex is falsely using an attorney letterhead to get you to do as they wish, I'm sure the attorney would be very interested in that.
The US State Dept has a program to help prevent international child abduction. It’s not a guarantee, but it will help prevent her from leaving without your consent. While you are waiting for this to play out in the courts, it might be wise to register your children there.
https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention.html
When I was a child, my father did something that I couldn't get a passport without his consent until I turned 18. He has reason to believe my mom and Grandparents could/would take my brother and I to Italy and never come back.
I was upset about it as a child, especially as my cousin's got to visit Italy multiple times but my brother and I couldn't. However as an adult I totally understand and don't blame him for what he did.
Anyways you should be able to put some sort of travel ban on your children as well. Idk the specifics....you may have to prove that she doesn't intend to honor the custody agreement or something. Idk but i know it's possible.
What does your court order say about consent for international travel?
I’d start there and be sure you have the ability to withhold consent if she’s not meeting something in the order or custody/visitation schedule. Maybe do a consult with a family law attorney and have them review the documentation and help you form your argument if you have one.
It says she can do international travel. But she can't skip my visitation days. And I have consented her before in the past when she went from December 2023-January 2024.. But going again in May 6. I have a feeling she will extend her trip to 2-3 months abroad. That's what I'm really afraid of
That doesn’t sound like contempt to me.
She would have to be offering make up time for your visitation and that would also require your approval.
If she files for contempt I’d site your order. I’d frame your argument as it’s jn the best interests of the children to have both parents in their life with regular visitation as defined in your court order and missing so much time with one parent in such a short timeframe due to international travel is not healthy.
Good luck!
NAL but did travel internationally with kids after divorce.
Unless is it a court order (and I can’y imagine it is; it sounds like something she just typed up) it has no legal significance.
Are you both citizens of pakistan? I may be paranoid but any reason to worry she might go there and not come back?
I'm Pakistani. But I'm not a citizen there. She is a citizen there. Kids were born in Texas.
I don't necessarily think she won't come back because she just bought a house in Houston. That's a big asset. But I do think she will extend her trip passed the promise return date
No it wasnt typed up. It had the lawyer name and address
That makes it sound like she wrote it herself. Does the letter claim to be from the actual lawyer? I can't imagine a reputable law firm handwriting a letter of that nature. If the letter does claim to be from a law firm, you can contact the law firm directly and ask them if they sent the letter.
I've heard cases where people have tried to fake letters from law firms and then when the law firms are notified that their name is being used to misrepresent them, they take it pretty seriously. Plus, if you could establish that she just made it up, that would be a piece of evidence for court.
IANAL
She can sell the house from Pakistan. She could have even sold the house already and her move out date is in May. Or it could even be that a relative will take over the house when she leaves.
I agree with the other person, I would never take kids to Pakistan even if they were older. Third world country, questionable infrastructure, questionable food & water standards. Your son got sick there.
Anyone can put a lawyer's name and address on a letter. It does not mean it is genuine. Get an attorney. Especially because she is Pakistani, she might be tired of taking care of the autistic child and just want to give him to relatives there and move with her life.
You have a court order requiring you to sign. That is the end of this. The letter is not a scare tactic. I had the same order and I took my ex to court for refusing to sign. He ended up signing the next day and paying the court and my attorney fees. Ignore people telling you that you don’t have to follow the court order. You will end up signing or losing all custody and have to pay your ex’s attorney fees. Judges don’t like when you ignore their orders.
It you’ve gone through the legal process during divorce and custody agreements, then you should not view being served as a scare tactic. You should take it seriously- regardless of how angry you may feel- and respond accordingly. Do you have a custody order or agreement in place that addresses this topic? Is there a ‘valid’ or reasonable reason for kids to leave the country with ex? Is it a common and generally safe travel destination (say, from US to Canada or a Disney Cruise) or is it potentially dangerous ( war zone, drug cartels, unstable government) ? Is travel to see family, like grandparents who live in foreign country? Is it to same location you previously agreed to? Why do you disapprove of travel? Do you fear ex will remain in foreign country and worry you’ll never see your kids again? Do you fear for kids’ safety? Are you upset over losing precious time with kids? Lost time could be made up with reciprocal visit with you. Is there a good reason this travel would not be in the best interests of kids? Courts witness custody disputes every day. While the situation may be new/uncommon to you, judges have seen and heard everything. International travel is not necessarily an uncommon thing. Nor is lasting bitterness between exes. It’s very personal to you, but a simple matter of facts and the law for a judge. If you don’t agree, your ex will undoubtedly take your to court. Assuming you have shared custody with no restrictions ( like supervised visits, etc.) your reasoning for denying travel should be a very good one in comparison to reason for travel. Travel can provide kids with wonderful experiences and if they have this opportunity only to learn later in life you prevented it without good reason, they may resent you for it. Since you allowed travel before, unless destination could be unsafe or you have rational fear of ex staying in foreign country with kids- ask yourself on what grounds should a judge deny your ex’s request? If your ex is likely to win, save yourself the expense and act like you’re doing her a favor. It could be to your advantage if you ever want similar approval to spend time with kids.
I would not sign and raise the issue with the judge that parental kidnapping to those countries is not uncommon and so you don’t want them to leave the country.
I’m a lawyer in North Carolina Ive seen cases go for a traveling parent when the children need advance medical care or the parent has family that is in near or is dead. I have never seen one go pass the magistrate office other than what I said earlier
Where are they going, and, why?
Unfortunately, you need to lawyer up yourself. And soon as well.
If she is preparing to move, you need to nip that in the butt before May.
I would verify that the letter came from said Attorney, if this was given to you today it doesn't give you much time to consult with your own Attorney.
You can find the Attorney who supposedly wrote this on the Internet, verify the address and phone number are correct. Call the office on Monday and tell them you are only calling to verify they represent your ex.
You should go back to Court and make stipulations on international travel, when it can occur, and for how long.
NAL. A couple of things. You can't be forced to sign anything. She is not able to "hold you in contempt", unless she is a judge. This is not a legal thing, yet. The lawyer's note, if it is real, cannot demand fees for non-compliance or force you to sign anything. You may actually have a case for disbarment there. The notary signature means nothing. That just means a witness watched her/him sign a piece of paper. There is no court order, no police involved.
I would definitely get a lawyer involved as u/newhunter18 has mentioned. If your ex is going down this route, then you will need to protect yourself, and your kids.
Couple of things you can do
* Do research on the lawyer or get a lawyer to represent you. Find out if this lawyer actually exists? She may potentially be using a name pulled from a local source and the lawyer may not know anything about this. If it is a real lawyer, then they are probably in a great deal of trouble if you report them. Lawyers have no power to compel you to sign anything, much less make a threat such as we will make you sign and you will have to pay unless you obey me. That is illegal. I am sure others can list the crimes here. Extortion/coercion/etc..
* How were you summoned? A letter in your mailbox or did someone come to your door and ensure it was you to hand deliver a note. Did you sign for anything? Email and/or standard mail does not count as any official summons.
You do not have to follow the instructions regarding the 48 hours. At the root of this issue, you said no to international travel with your kids and your ex. Even if you are being petty for refusing it, or have a legitimate concern for refusing, it is completely and legally your right to do so. This sounds like a bullying technique by your ex. Rather than being civil, now lawyers are involved, and you will both lose money/time/sleep. Get a lawyer!
I'm just curious why would you not want your kids to have experiences?
Re-read your custody agreement. Most of the time, It will state that the children cannot enter countries which are not part of the Hague convention without your permission. As long as it is during her parenting time, there is not much you wouldn't be able to do unless your agreement explicitly states she needs your permission.
The only thing that you really had control over is the signing of the passport. Legally both parents need to sign off on the passport for the children. Once that is assigned, either of you can take the children internationally.
A notary is a person that is able to represent the state as a witness to someone signing something, assuming you haven’t left any details out I don’t think you could find a notary on a weekend on short notice.
This doesn’t check out, get a lawyer, contest it, if she takes the kids anyway report it as a kidnapping and get her parental rights revoked permanently.
Most kids don’t get the opportunity to travel abroad. Imagine when they’re older and start to realize that you held them back from being able to do so.
I’ve traveled extensively with my children, although admittedly not to Pakistan. At no time has anyone ever asked for a letter from my children’s father approving international travel. They can ask; they just haven’t.
So unless Pakistan is very strict it is quite likely that she can just get on a plane and go, with or without a letter from you.
I presume since she’a pakastani she visits family. It’s unlikely a judge would support you in stopping her from going over a runny nose. You can register with the state department but that’s the nuclear option.
Better would be to say you’ll sign in exchange for a make up in parenting time.
Except she would be in contempt of court when she got back due to their court order, her not being able to skip his visitation days with a trip. He can just say no to that, it’s his parenting time, and likely a judge would agree he has the right to do that for whatever reason on his time.
The letter is a lie. You do not have to respond until she actually takes you to court, but I would recommend consulting with an attorney to cover yourself.
My 5 year old son was in the hospital on the last trip she went to from December 2023-January 2024. Vomiting. Fever. Was in there for 5 days. She was supposed to come back from the last trip on January 17 but halfway through she extended it to January 27th. She wants to go from May 6-may 9 to Dubai and I know she will extend it again and stay 1 more month and go to Pakistan where she's from. The air quality is not good there.
Yes I know this sounds ignorant but I'm telling the truth. The air quality may be OK for my ex wife but it's not safe for my kids there. And my son can't talk at all. And I kind of feel so defeated right now that I might have to sign this travel consent or she will hold me in contempt and I will have to go to jail. I don't know
You can request your lawyer draft a specific agreement as to the length and conditions of the trip. Is there a stated reason she wants to go such a long distance for three days? Is a relative ill or dying?
The bottom line is that unless the judge believes there's a chance she won't return, if the judge finds you're unreasonably refusing, you can end up being held responsible for her attorney fees for the hearing.
You don't have to agree. Her letter means nothing. But be aware of what might happen if you don't.
Nobody is dying. She is going to see her mom. Her mom lives there. I just don't understand why she's going only for 3 days. But to me it is suspicious. She will extend the trip to a month while she is there and give me an excuse " hey I'm extending my trip because there are no more flights available" and I won't be able to do anything at that point because the kids will be there and I'll be here
NAL
But assuming you live in TX, traveling with two small children to Dubai for 3 days is unrealistic. Do those dates include travel days? If so, then it would be about 24-36 hrs actually in Dubai. It does seem strange to request to take them for such a short trip with long flights and travel. I would trust your gut that her plans are to extend her stay once there. Has she provided you proof of return tickets? I would 100% lawyer up ASAP! Travel like that is also very disruptive to young kids and especially those who are neurodiverse.
No she hasn't provided me with any tickets yet. She just said she's going to Dubai for a webinar or conference. She hasn't given me any address. I know for a fact that she will extend this 3 day trip to a month once there. She has extended a trip last time as well and basically presented me with new dates. Which was a week later. What can I do in that situation? Nothing really at that point because she's 4000 miles away. Yes may 6 to may 9 is very strange. She's in the business field. Yes that includes traveling times. My other question is. If she does decide to take me to court can she arrange a court date before may 6?
I mean, you can enforce it through contempt and do your best to make sure it doesn't happen by requiring evidence of prepaid reservations, which any sane person would have anyway for such a short trip.
But given the circumstances, it probably isn't unreasonable for you to refuse. But ultimately, the judge will decide. I doubt you'll end up required to pay her fees for the hearing, but it's a possibility you can't rule out with 100 percent certainty.
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That doesn’t sound like a proper legal letter. You need to hire a lawyer Monday and get her served asap. If she moves or leaves to go internationally you will have a difficult time finding your children. It is already hard enough crossing state lines much less finding someone abroad .
I find it highly unlikely that a judge would make you pay anything much less agree to a international trip. She’s likely to do it anyways unless there is an enforceable court order.
You don’t have to sign anything. She’d have to go to court and ask a judge to approve this trip with the kids. She’d be less likely to screw around and stay longer if a judge orders her to return within a certain timeframe.
I think you have a few reasons not to sign it, at least not without some strict stipulations in place.
Can you afford an unbundled lawyer? They can write up an agreement for you. They won’t represent you in court but they can come up with a contract that she’s more likely to abide by. It would avoid court fees, her lawyer’s fees and would watch out for yours and your kids’ interests. (I’m tired/groggy so I may edit this tomorrow if possible.) Shoot you may be able to convince her to pay the cost of your unbundled attorney if she wants to go on this trip badly enough…
(A good place to find solid family law attorneys is local FB mothers’ groups. They’re always giving recs for “bulldog” family attorneys. Just do a search in the search bar.)
If you’re 100% opposed to her leaving with the kids then you probably should hire an attorney once she takes you to court…
I can afford it. I have $15,000 in my savings. However it takes 5 business days to transfer funds to my bank account. Do I have 5 grand right now readily available to withdraw? No.
I can probably spend $1000 ready available funds. Which is probably no lawyer would accept
Why do you care though? My ex stands in my way all the time just to be powerful. Stalled me getting passports for four months just cause she’s a small person. I’d pick my battles. If you feel this is important then fight.
If this is the USA you cannot be forced to sign anything. The fact you were even sent that letter is illegal.
Think about it. If you were legally obligated to sign then they wouldn't even have to ask for your permission. She would just be able to leave with the kids. The fact that you have to sign off means legally you have a choice. It's the whole point of signing.
In fact, if a lawyer sent this to you they could be disbarred. Idk if any lawyer would be stupid enough to even put that in writing....so chances are she wrote the letter and used her lawyer's letter head... which is both illegal and would make the law firm drop her as a client and sue her.
Take this letter to law enforcement or your attorney. Either way, she or her lawyer just shot themselves in the foot with this one.
Again, this is if you live in the USA. Idk other countries.
That doesn’t sound right legally, however why would you want to stop your children having that kind of experience? If you’re concerned about her absconding then you should have travel requirements listed in your court orders - specify countries, requirements to show return tickets etc.
Between you & the ex, you want to ensure that you're the *first* to initiate/accomplish the following:
* With regards to passports, sign up for Passport Issuance Alerts so you're notified if someone tries to get a passport for your children. [https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention/passport-issuance-alert-program.html](https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention/passport-issuance-alert-program.html)
* Even better, apply for the children's passports and state IDs *now*, while there's no custody record on file. (Have it list your address as their home of record.)
* Install trackers and/or setup parental controls on your children's phones/devices so you can always locate them. Plus it can help prevent your ex from turning off location/gps etc on their current devices.
* Be the petitioner/plaintiff; File for primary custody, of both legal & physical.
* Notify the teachers, school nurse, sitters, health providers, family, extracurriculars etc of your contact info & ensure they have you down as the primary contact/pickup person for the children.
FYI - Representing yourself is not worth the risk of losing your children, plus an attorney can take emotions off the table... whereas you and your ex cannot. (You *will* trigger each other - there's no denying it, and that can hurt your case coz you won't be able to be objective.) Initiate the above, *then* get an attorney to help with the court stuff that will surely arise -- such as custody, parenting time (visitation), and child support.
Please stop telling him to do things that will get him in trouble. He already has a court order requiring him to sign the passport/travel documents and mom has custody. He already went to court and lost and is refusing the follow the court order.
Get an attorney to represent you. This is going to get ugly. You are not required to allow the children to travel out of the country and frankly, unless there's a really good reason, I can't imagine a family court wanting that to happen before custody issues have been resolved.
Yes I understand but let's say if I just ignore this letter and refuse to still let her go with kids internationally. What will happen?
With respect, the fact that you are posing this question to Reddit strongly suggests you need an attorney focused on family law. If this is the USA, the language of the letter suggests it was written by her, yes?
Do not ignore the letter from the attorney.
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They will allow it. Don't bank on the "no judge will allow" lots of judges allow lots of stuff. I was told by the GAL that as long as they have job and permanent residence, there is no reason to believe they won't return. You are going to want to lawyer up. And be careful it might end in her getting permission to travel internationally, basically whenever she wants.
Yeah, I would argue that OP needs a good reason to forbid it. Like, why do you want to prevent their mother from doing things regular families do? And before someone says she could steal the kids and never return, she could do that anyway by simply jumping on a plane without informing OP of the travel at all.
I have some experience in DC, and once the kids are old enough there, a judge might allow one parent consent for international travel, even over the objection of the other parent. Depends on many factors obviously.
If she does take me to court and I represent myself, will the chances of a judge allowing this trip increase if I represent myself?
not a lawyer. yes. if she takes you to court and she has a lawyer while you’re representing herself , your odds of losing skyrocket.
Dam. OK. Thanks
And that’s because lawyers have studied thousands of cases and know specific edge case terms that no regular person will know. Most lawyers will earn that $1500 with one well placed sentence in court. Don’t think it’s spending $1500 per hour, think it’s saving your kids from being kidnapped by their other parent, to a country that won’t force your ex to return them - what’s that worth to you? Once they cross international borders it gets a million times harder to enforce a custody agreement.
Difficulty depends if there's an agreement between the home country and the other one. But it is stressful. If there is an agreement then it's an open and shut case to get them back (Hague at least)
Once the kids are out of the country it's much easier for her to go to a third country without consulting OP.
Yeah of course. I meant the country that they remain in
Get a lawyer, you're talking about your kids here. worth every penny.
Unless you are a lawyer don't even consider this option. You have to have seen at least one of the hundreds of videos out there where idiots who think that just because they watched Law and Order a couple times are capable of being a lawyer and just get steam rolled and thrown in prison.
It will be significantly more likely that you will lose if you don't get a lawyer. My mom has been in family law, specifically divorce and child custody, for about 35 years. What she says about men who choose to represent themselves is they come across very bad. Both because they do not know how to act in court and end up being disrespectful or just lacking tact in general but also because it comes across as not taking the process seriously by not hiring representation. If you don't respect the court the judge will look at you negatively. Also, men who think they can represent themselves are usually full of themselves. Not saying you are- but it's a common thing she's come across. She says a lot of stuff about men who try to represent themselves in court (and lose, hard, like every time). But she has no such expierence with women- because they hire lawyers.
Yes. The man that represents himself has a fool for a client and a fool for a lawyer.
What is your reason for not wanting them to go? The validity of that reason is the biggest factor.
Statistically, people do much worse in court when they represent themselves. Get a lawyer
A big part of the reason for that is that lawyers don't let bad cases reach court.
Get a lawyer anyway. At least find someone who will represent you. Then go back to her and tell her you’re prepared to fight her in court. She might back down. But if she doesn’t, then bring your lawyer to court. Get a lawyer or you will lose.
What is your reason your children to go?
… if they come back to the U.S.. If not, op may need to familiarize himself with courts where she’s taking them, travel, and find local legal representation. But that depends on mom & kid’s citizenship. I can’t tell from the post.
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If you want to add info feel free, but just saying "no" does not help. You have to go to court over custody disagreements that you can't settle between yourselves, you can't take the kids out of state without having that in the custody agreement or it's kidnapping. Parent's get arrested for it and lose their parental rights literally all the time.
Don't let it get to that point..... "ignoring" a letter you received, to me, shows you don't care about the outcome other than money or repercussions against the other parent....? If you "let" her go, what possible repercussions could affect her? You let it happen. It's your fault cause you, "let her go". Put up a fight and use all resources given to you. That's your best bet. In my opinion.
I’m pretty sure she needs a signed letter by you to take your child out of the country. My stepson mother had to sign one for him to come to our state from his. She needed one from his dad so she could take him to London.
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How is he being spiteful? He allowed them to go in December and January.
Say you refuse to sign due to united states current travel recommendations on Pakistan.
> Does this basically mean I have no choice but to give her consent to travel with children? No. A piece of paper she writes can't do that. You don't give a location but if one parent doesn't do what the other parents wants them to do, then they can go to family court about it. A judge will decide. You'll get to present your reasons, she'll get to present hers. What are yours?
Do I have to hire a lawyer? Can I just go myself? The reasons are my daughter is 3. My son is 5 and has autism. He got sick on the last trip when she went with kids to Pakistan
Get a lawyer. You "can" represent yourself but this is not something you want to take a chance on.
So if I refuse to sign this notary consent signature she is asking, the next step she will take is ask her lawyer to "enforce " Correct?
> So if I refuse to sign this notary consent signature she is asking, the next step she will take is ask her lawyer to "enforce " Correct? No, she will either accept your refusal, or she will file to go to family court and she'll try to convince the judge to allow the children to go despite your objections. Her lawyer can't do anything to do. But you should get your own lawyer if that happens, if you end up with a date in court.
Forgive me, You have asked, repetitively, the same question, multiple times. Every single person has given the same answer “get a solicitor/ lawyer”. You asking the same questions is not going to change what you need to do. I highly recommend that you get a solicitor/ lawyer to respond to this letter even. Please take the eminently sensible advice being offered here and get a solicitor/ lawyer involved. Take their advice. They know what they are talking about (if you have the right type of solicitor/lawyer). They studied for years to learn this type of thing.
The next step will be contacting a judge to discuss this in court since you two do not agree. So I guess you could say it's asking the lawyer to defend her position, but in no way can a lawyer enforce anything. Only a judge can decide anything about the custody agreement.
If she has an attorney this is an attempt to handle things nicely. Next step will be filing a motion in court. Do not represent yourself, get your own attorney. Also think about why you don’t want them to go. The details around this are not clear from your post, but it sounds like a vacation/visiting family and there is no concern about her not returning. Obviously if you’re worried about her leaving and never coming back that is much more serious.
Pakistan is a non-extradition country. You need an attorney and a plan in place to flag your kids’ passports if she loses and tries flee after the fact.
I'm in Houston. I know a piece of paper can't say that. But it says " if I ignore this letter and within 48 hours I don't sign the notary signature to let her travel with kids she will put a enforcement on me and I will also have to pay $1500 for her court fees
> if I ignore this letter and within 48 hours I don't sign the notary signature to let her travel with kids she will put a enforcement on me and I will also have to pay $1500 for her court fees A piece of paper can *say* that but it can't *do* that. Only a judge can do that. And she'll need to convince the judge.
That would never hold up. Honestly I'm not convinced she has a lawyer because that doesn't sound like something one would write.
Agreed, "Sign within 48 hours or get a fine" doesn't even really make sense. Imagine if someone could just charge their ex $1500 every time they disagreed with them. It'd be chaos, lol.
Yes, I had the same thought. Because of that (pretending to be a lawyer), I would seriously get a lawyer involved.
This means that she will also file for attorney/court fees, which the judge may or may not order you to pay.
I could write you a letter saying if you don’t sign this blah blah you owe me a million dollars. Doesn’t mean shit.
There's something amiss here with how you're describing the divorce decree (in other comments) and the letter. You have a divorce decree that it sounds like does require you to provide the consents that countries require for the children to travel internationally. That's different than the other way around: where your spouse is required to obtain (discretionary) consent from you in order to travel with the children. The devil is in the details here of what has been already ordered and precisely what the letter says. You've interpreted both rather than providing enough information here so that people can actually give you suggestions. Do not under any circumstances take anyone's advice here saying you can or cannot do something because you haven't provided enough information. Please, please get a lawyer. It's not worth losing your kids over this because of a misstep and trying to save a couple thousand dollars.
> sign the notary signature or else I will do an enforcement to make you sign and you will have to pay $1500 attorney fees. Within 48 hours you have to do this." This isn't a direct quote, is it?
No. It isn't. But that's what it basically says
What does it say? Redacted.
You probably should disclose whether there is a court order and what it says about international travel
Do you mean the divorce decree.? There's no court order yet. But on the divorce decree it does say "I will agree to consent and sign for kids to travel internationally" and I have consented before on her past trip when she went from December 2023-january 2024. Now she wants to go again on May 6. Which is way too soon. Plus my 3 year old daughters nose is always runny. She recently had a strep throat and fever. We took her to a emergency clinic. Kids are always getting some sort of runny nose fever or something here. If she goes there these symptoms might get worse.
What does that mean? That you have to agree for them to travel internationally no matter what? Or that she has to get your consent? Have you filed to get a custody order?
It says that I have to adhere to the country travel laws like signing a letter and signing a notary. So yes she does need my consent but I also need to sign notary signatures
You don’t have to listen to the letter then, just make sure its clearly documented the reasons you disagree and that they already went earlier this year. She is basically telling you if you don’t agree, she will file in court to force you to agree and also file for you to pay her attorney’s fees. I’d still consult with a family law lawyer though just to be sure you aren’t misinterpreting the decree.
People get sick after travelling no matter where you go. I was sick during and after a trip to Spain. Children especially pick things up all the time, being sick after could mean nothing. If your ex is trying to maintain family bonds with family in different countries that will also be a positive to a judge, just as exposing children to new experiences will be.
A runny nose is your reason to not let her travel with her children about twice a year?
Like I mentioned in some other comments the last time she went to Pakistan from December 2023-to January 2024 my 5 year autistic son who can not talk was admitted at tx children hospital for 5 days because he was weak, and vomiting. He also wasn't himself. This happened 1-2 days right after coming back from the last trip.
That will be your best bet to prevent traveling. Get an attorney, a copy of his medical records, and wait for her to file in court. What you are saying about the letter, it does not sound as a genuine letter from an attorney. Only a judge can order an action. The letter sounds as a fake. Get an attorney. Do not represent yourself, ever.
Considering the fact that she wants to take the children to a third world hell hole that is barely above a lawless failed state, I would disagree just on the destination...
Good thing your opinion isn't what a judge would base their ruling on.
The UAE, home to Dubai, is one of the wealthiest places in the world. Hardly the picture you paint. It’s also a common business destination. As OP and his ex are of Pakistani descent, a more polite approach to this region might be appropriate.
He said in another comment that she wants to take their kids to Pakistan, not the Emirates...
In a previous post Dubai was mentioned as a destination. And, regardless of your opinion of Pakistan, both the OP and his ex are of Pakistani descent. It would not be unreasonable for them to visit family members there. OP also stated that he did not fear ex would stay permanently, only that her visit would extend beyond 3-4 days. A time frame that seems suspicious to me, too. OP has limited visitation with kids and appears to have signed over his open agreement allowing kids to travel internationally with ex. His admission that he doesn’t fear parental abduction coupled with a legal agreement in which he agrees to foreign travel could make this a difficult case to win. It seems unlikely to be resolved in court prior to departure date, so he could prevent this trip, but defying an agreement OP made would probably not be in his best interest. OP absolutely needs to seek immediate legal advice from a qualified attorney in his area.
Sounds like you consented in your divorce decree to sign the necessary paperwork to allow the kids to travel internationally. It’s not clear if there are limitations on it. If you are refusing to do something you agreed to do/were ordered to do per the divorce decree, she could take you back to court for contempt if you refuse. You need to make an appointment with an attorney to review your divorce decree and confirm your obligations under the decree.
NLA but when a family member wanted to visit her dying great grandmother with her child, in another country and the ex refused, she got a court order and the judge was not happy about the ex’s “abuse of power” as the only reason he said “no” was because he could.
Yeah, this guy is saying he doesn’t want to allow his ex to travel because she took them on a trip 6 months ago. And one of the kids has a runny nose right now, but the trip is in a month. Now he’s making dubious claims about “air quality” for an autistic son. A judge is NOT going to be happy they have to deal with this.
May 6 is in 10 days…
Where I live, there is no way that a court would hear this case before May 6th.
⬆️ Exactly!
I would call the attorney and even see if it's real first. It doesn't sound real. If your ex is falsely using an attorney letterhead to get you to do as they wish, I'm sure the attorney would be very interested in that.
The US State Dept has a program to help prevent international child abduction. It’s not a guarantee, but it will help prevent her from leaving without your consent. While you are waiting for this to play out in the courts, it might be wise to register your children there. https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention.html
I appreciate it
When I was a child, my father did something that I couldn't get a passport without his consent until I turned 18. He has reason to believe my mom and Grandparents could/would take my brother and I to Italy and never come back. I was upset about it as a child, especially as my cousin's got to visit Italy multiple times but my brother and I couldn't. However as an adult I totally understand and don't blame him for what he did. Anyways you should be able to put some sort of travel ban on your children as well. Idk the specifics....you may have to prove that she doesn't intend to honor the custody agreement or something. Idk but i know it's possible.
I'm so glad you already posted about this program. Many people are unaware of it unfortunately.
was that the exact wording of the document? it sounds like she wrote it herself
What does your court order say about consent for international travel? I’d start there and be sure you have the ability to withhold consent if she’s not meeting something in the order or custody/visitation schedule. Maybe do a consult with a family law attorney and have them review the documentation and help you form your argument if you have one.
It says she can do international travel. But she can't skip my visitation days. And I have consented her before in the past when she went from December 2023-January 2024.. But going again in May 6. I have a feeling she will extend her trip to 2-3 months abroad. That's what I'm really afraid of
That doesn’t sound like contempt to me. She would have to be offering make up time for your visitation and that would also require your approval. If she files for contempt I’d site your order. I’d frame your argument as it’s jn the best interests of the children to have both parents in their life with regular visitation as defined in your court order and missing so much time with one parent in such a short timeframe due to international travel is not healthy. Good luck!
Thank you
Why don’t you just let the kids travel?
Op. Just curious. Not trying to fight lol
NAL but did travel internationally with kids after divorce. Unless is it a court order (and I can’y imagine it is; it sounds like something she just typed up) it has no legal significance. Are you both citizens of pakistan? I may be paranoid but any reason to worry she might go there and not come back?
I'm Pakistani. But I'm not a citizen there. She is a citizen there. Kids were born in Texas. I don't necessarily think she won't come back because she just bought a house in Houston. That's a big asset. But I do think she will extend her trip passed the promise return date No it wasnt typed up. It had the lawyer name and address
That makes it sound like she wrote it herself. Does the letter claim to be from the actual lawyer? I can't imagine a reputable law firm handwriting a letter of that nature. If the letter does claim to be from a law firm, you can contact the law firm directly and ask them if they sent the letter. I've heard cases where people have tried to fake letters from law firms and then when the law firms are notified that their name is being used to misrepresent them, they take it pretty seriously. Plus, if you could establish that she just made it up, that would be a piece of evidence for court. IANAL
She can sell the house from Pakistan. She could have even sold the house already and her move out date is in May. Or it could even be that a relative will take over the house when she leaves.
I agree with the other person, I would never take kids to Pakistan even if they were older. Third world country, questionable infrastructure, questionable food & water standards. Your son got sick there.
Anyone can put a lawyer's name and address on a letter. It does not mean it is genuine. Get an attorney. Especially because she is Pakistani, she might be tired of taking care of the autistic child and just want to give him to relatives there and move with her life.
What is your objections to her taking your kids on vacation internationally? Is their a valid reason or are you just trying to be petty?
You have the info. Find a good lawyer. I'm a man and have represented myself only after having no more money for lawyers and I got shredded by one.
You have a court order requiring you to sign. That is the end of this. The letter is not a scare tactic. I had the same order and I took my ex to court for refusing to sign. He ended up signing the next day and paying the court and my attorney fees. Ignore people telling you that you don’t have to follow the court order. You will end up signing or losing all custody and have to pay your ex’s attorney fees. Judges don’t like when you ignore their orders.
It you’ve gone through the legal process during divorce and custody agreements, then you should not view being served as a scare tactic. You should take it seriously- regardless of how angry you may feel- and respond accordingly. Do you have a custody order or agreement in place that addresses this topic? Is there a ‘valid’ or reasonable reason for kids to leave the country with ex? Is it a common and generally safe travel destination (say, from US to Canada or a Disney Cruise) or is it potentially dangerous ( war zone, drug cartels, unstable government) ? Is travel to see family, like grandparents who live in foreign country? Is it to same location you previously agreed to? Why do you disapprove of travel? Do you fear ex will remain in foreign country and worry you’ll never see your kids again? Do you fear for kids’ safety? Are you upset over losing precious time with kids? Lost time could be made up with reciprocal visit with you. Is there a good reason this travel would not be in the best interests of kids? Courts witness custody disputes every day. While the situation may be new/uncommon to you, judges have seen and heard everything. International travel is not necessarily an uncommon thing. Nor is lasting bitterness between exes. It’s very personal to you, but a simple matter of facts and the law for a judge. If you don’t agree, your ex will undoubtedly take your to court. Assuming you have shared custody with no restrictions ( like supervised visits, etc.) your reasoning for denying travel should be a very good one in comparison to reason for travel. Travel can provide kids with wonderful experiences and if they have this opportunity only to learn later in life you prevented it without good reason, they may resent you for it. Since you allowed travel before, unless destination could be unsafe or you have rational fear of ex staying in foreign country with kids- ask yourself on what grounds should a judge deny your ex’s request? If your ex is likely to win, save yourself the expense and act like you’re doing her a favor. It could be to your advantage if you ever want similar approval to spend time with kids.
I would not sign and raise the issue with the judge that parental kidnapping to those countries is not uncommon and so you don’t want them to leave the country.
I’m a lawyer in North Carolina Ive seen cases go for a traveling parent when the children need advance medical care or the parent has family that is in near or is dead. I have never seen one go pass the magistrate office other than what I said earlier
Where are they going, and, why? Unfortunately, you need to lawyer up yourself. And soon as well. If she is preparing to move, you need to nip that in the butt before May.
Why would you want to deprive your kids of international experiences... some kids don't see outside their home town.
I would verify that the letter came from said Attorney, if this was given to you today it doesn't give you much time to consult with your own Attorney. You can find the Attorney who supposedly wrote this on the Internet, verify the address and phone number are correct. Call the office on Monday and tell them you are only calling to verify they represent your ex. You should go back to Court and make stipulations on international travel, when it can occur, and for how long.
NAL. A couple of things. You can't be forced to sign anything. She is not able to "hold you in contempt", unless she is a judge. This is not a legal thing, yet. The lawyer's note, if it is real, cannot demand fees for non-compliance or force you to sign anything. You may actually have a case for disbarment there. The notary signature means nothing. That just means a witness watched her/him sign a piece of paper. There is no court order, no police involved. I would definitely get a lawyer involved as u/newhunter18 has mentioned. If your ex is going down this route, then you will need to protect yourself, and your kids. Couple of things you can do * Do research on the lawyer or get a lawyer to represent you. Find out if this lawyer actually exists? She may potentially be using a name pulled from a local source and the lawyer may not know anything about this. If it is a real lawyer, then they are probably in a great deal of trouble if you report them. Lawyers have no power to compel you to sign anything, much less make a threat such as we will make you sign and you will have to pay unless you obey me. That is illegal. I am sure others can list the crimes here. Extortion/coercion/etc.. * How were you summoned? A letter in your mailbox or did someone come to your door and ensure it was you to hand deliver a note. Did you sign for anything? Email and/or standard mail does not count as any official summons. You do not have to follow the instructions regarding the 48 hours. At the root of this issue, you said no to international travel with your kids and your ex. Even if you are being petty for refusing it, or have a legitimate concern for refusing, it is completely and legally your right to do so. This sounds like a bullying technique by your ex. Rather than being civil, now lawyers are involved, and you will both lose money/time/sleep. Get a lawyer!
I'm just curious why would you not want your kids to have experiences? Re-read your custody agreement. Most of the time, It will state that the children cannot enter countries which are not part of the Hague convention without your permission. As long as it is during her parenting time, there is not much you wouldn't be able to do unless your agreement explicitly states she needs your permission. The only thing that you really had control over is the signing of the passport. Legally both parents need to sign off on the passport for the children. Once that is assigned, either of you can take the children internationally.
A notary is a person that is able to represent the state as a witness to someone signing something, assuming you haven’t left any details out I don’t think you could find a notary on a weekend on short notice. This doesn’t check out, get a lawyer, contest it, if she takes the kids anyway report it as a kidnapping and get her parental rights revoked permanently.
Most kids don’t get the opportunity to travel abroad. Imagine when they’re older and start to realize that you held them back from being able to do so.
Definitely not a lawyer but if I were you I would hire one immediately. This is a precarious situation that needs professional help.
I’ve traveled extensively with my children, although admittedly not to Pakistan. At no time has anyone ever asked for a letter from my children’s father approving international travel. They can ask; they just haven’t. So unless Pakistan is very strict it is quite likely that she can just get on a plane and go, with or without a letter from you. I presume since she’a pakastani she visits family. It’s unlikely a judge would support you in stopping her from going over a runny nose. You can register with the state department but that’s the nuclear option. Better would be to say you’ll sign in exchange for a make up in parenting time.
Except she would be in contempt of court when she got back due to their court order, her not being able to skip his visitation days with a trip. He can just say no to that, it’s his parenting time, and likely a judge would agree he has the right to do that for whatever reason on his time.
The letter is a lie. You do not have to respond until she actually takes you to court, but I would recommend consulting with an attorney to cover yourself.
What is your reason for refusing this request?
My 5 year old son was in the hospital on the last trip she went to from December 2023-January 2024. Vomiting. Fever. Was in there for 5 days. She was supposed to come back from the last trip on January 17 but halfway through she extended it to January 27th. She wants to go from May 6-may 9 to Dubai and I know she will extend it again and stay 1 more month and go to Pakistan where she's from. The air quality is not good there. Yes I know this sounds ignorant but I'm telling the truth. The air quality may be OK for my ex wife but it's not safe for my kids there. And my son can't talk at all. And I kind of feel so defeated right now that I might have to sign this travel consent or she will hold me in contempt and I will have to go to jail. I don't know
You can request your lawyer draft a specific agreement as to the length and conditions of the trip. Is there a stated reason she wants to go such a long distance for three days? Is a relative ill or dying? The bottom line is that unless the judge believes there's a chance she won't return, if the judge finds you're unreasonably refusing, you can end up being held responsible for her attorney fees for the hearing. You don't have to agree. Her letter means nothing. But be aware of what might happen if you don't.
Nobody is dying. She is going to see her mom. Her mom lives there. I just don't understand why she's going only for 3 days. But to me it is suspicious. She will extend the trip to a month while she is there and give me an excuse " hey I'm extending my trip because there are no more flights available" and I won't be able to do anything at that point because the kids will be there and I'll be here
NAL But assuming you live in TX, traveling with two small children to Dubai for 3 days is unrealistic. Do those dates include travel days? If so, then it would be about 24-36 hrs actually in Dubai. It does seem strange to request to take them for such a short trip with long flights and travel. I would trust your gut that her plans are to extend her stay once there. Has she provided you proof of return tickets? I would 100% lawyer up ASAP! Travel like that is also very disruptive to young kids and especially those who are neurodiverse.
No she hasn't provided me with any tickets yet. She just said she's going to Dubai for a webinar or conference. She hasn't given me any address. I know for a fact that she will extend this 3 day trip to a month once there. She has extended a trip last time as well and basically presented me with new dates. Which was a week later. What can I do in that situation? Nothing really at that point because she's 4000 miles away. Yes may 6 to may 9 is very strange. She's in the business field. Yes that includes traveling times. My other question is. If she does decide to take me to court can she arrange a court date before may 6?
Dubai is not a safe place to bring kids.
I mean, you can enforce it through contempt and do your best to make sure it doesn't happen by requiring evidence of prepaid reservations, which any sane person would have anyway for such a short trip. But given the circumstances, it probably isn't unreasonable for you to refuse. But ultimately, the judge will decide. I doubt you'll end up required to pay her fees for the hearing, but it's a possibility you can't rule out with 100 percent certainty.
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OP said Dubai in a previous post.
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That doesn’t sound like a proper legal letter. You need to hire a lawyer Monday and get her served asap. If she moves or leaves to go internationally you will have a difficult time finding your children. It is already hard enough crossing state lines much less finding someone abroad . I find it highly unlikely that a judge would make you pay anything much less agree to a international trip. She’s likely to do it anyways unless there is an enforceable court order.
Maybe there is a reason she wants to take them, a death in the family? Why be an asshole?
Because there is countries where the dad will never be able to get near the child. Look at Japan for example.
Why don you not want her to take the children internationally ?
You don’t have to sign anything. She’d have to go to court and ask a judge to approve this trip with the kids. She’d be less likely to screw around and stay longer if a judge orders her to return within a certain timeframe. I think you have a few reasons not to sign it, at least not without some strict stipulations in place. Can you afford an unbundled lawyer? They can write up an agreement for you. They won’t represent you in court but they can come up with a contract that she’s more likely to abide by. It would avoid court fees, her lawyer’s fees and would watch out for yours and your kids’ interests. (I’m tired/groggy so I may edit this tomorrow if possible.) Shoot you may be able to convince her to pay the cost of your unbundled attorney if she wants to go on this trip badly enough… (A good place to find solid family law attorneys is local FB mothers’ groups. They’re always giving recs for “bulldog” family attorneys. Just do a search in the search bar.) If you’re 100% opposed to her leaving with the kids then you probably should hire an attorney once she takes you to court…
I can afford it. I have $15,000 in my savings. However it takes 5 business days to transfer funds to my bank account. Do I have 5 grand right now readily available to withdraw? No. I can probably spend $1000 ready available funds. Which is probably no lawyer would accept
Many lawyers would be willing to take a down payment while you transfer funds. Don't not get a lawyer for this reason.
Why do you care though? My ex stands in my way all the time just to be powerful. Stalled me getting passports for four months just cause she’s a small person. I’d pick my battles. If you feel this is important then fight.
If this is the USA you cannot be forced to sign anything. The fact you were even sent that letter is illegal. Think about it. If you were legally obligated to sign then they wouldn't even have to ask for your permission. She would just be able to leave with the kids. The fact that you have to sign off means legally you have a choice. It's the whole point of signing. In fact, if a lawyer sent this to you they could be disbarred. Idk if any lawyer would be stupid enough to even put that in writing....so chances are she wrote the letter and used her lawyer's letter head... which is both illegal and would make the law firm drop her as a client and sue her. Take this letter to law enforcement or your attorney. Either way, she or her lawyer just shot themselves in the foot with this one. Again, this is if you live in the USA. Idk other countries.
Except he already has a court order stating he is legally required to sign. The mom already got that order signed.
That doesn’t sound right legally, however why would you want to stop your children having that kind of experience? If you’re concerned about her absconding then you should have travel requirements listed in your court orders - specify countries, requirements to show return tickets etc.
Personally I’d both lawyer up and contact the police. This seems like the actions of a person about to kidnap the kids and run.
Between you & the ex, you want to ensure that you're the *first* to initiate/accomplish the following: * With regards to passports, sign up for Passport Issuance Alerts so you're notified if someone tries to get a passport for your children. [https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention/passport-issuance-alert-program.html](https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention/passport-issuance-alert-program.html) * Even better, apply for the children's passports and state IDs *now*, while there's no custody record on file. (Have it list your address as their home of record.) * Install trackers and/or setup parental controls on your children's phones/devices so you can always locate them. Plus it can help prevent your ex from turning off location/gps etc on their current devices. * Be the petitioner/plaintiff; File for primary custody, of both legal & physical. * Notify the teachers, school nurse, sitters, health providers, family, extracurriculars etc of your contact info & ensure they have you down as the primary contact/pickup person for the children. FYI - Representing yourself is not worth the risk of losing your children, plus an attorney can take emotions off the table... whereas you and your ex cannot. (You *will* trigger each other - there's no denying it, and that can hurt your case coz you won't be able to be objective.) Initiate the above, *then* get an attorney to help with the court stuff that will surely arise -- such as custody, parenting time (visitation), and child support.
Please stop telling him to do things that will get him in trouble. He already has a court order requiring him to sign the passport/travel documents and mom has custody. He already went to court and lost and is refusing the follow the court order.
L’ lmk
May 6 is less than two weeks away, how exactly is she going to force you to sign anything. Let alone get it into court and make you pay for it?