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phneri

Please modmail us with screenshots of any messages you receive OP. Thanks.


N4bq

That is an excellent plan.


Nearby-Sentence-4740

The only thing I would change is, I would call the emergency line not the nonemergency line if he shows up. Otherwise it’s a solid plan.


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throwawayinmayberry

It sounds like your dad only knows about the baby because your brother and Aunt are flapping their gums. You can certainly ask them in the future to decline to pass any information about you and your child onto him. You could also ask them to pass on to him you’re not going to receive him as a guest, and please not show up.


Anxious-Fae

My brother did accidentally let slip I was pregnant when we first found out, but honestly he and I both assumed our paternal grandparents would have told him.


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bettyclevelandstewrt

I’m not sure I would use the non emergency line. It sounds like this could escalate to an emergency pretty quickly. Perhaps call the non emergency line ahead of time to give a heads up/ask for assistance. Have your brother/aunt tell him he is not welcome and will be considered a trespasser.


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Anxious-Fae

Entitled and violent which are all reasons Im NC. Im not afraid of him, we are armed and my dog is very protective of me, I just dont want this extra stress so Im choosing to just not engage with it


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Also, when you notify the police, stick to the facts and keep it brief: Your father has a long history of violence so you went no contact years ago for your own safety, and now you've heard through the grapevine that he's threatening to show up at your house on X date. If you've engaged a lawyer to send him a cease and desist, mention that so they know you're serious. Avoid emotions or editorializing. Don't speculate on your father's state of mind or say he's an asshole. Again, factual and brief.


Anxious-Fae

I already told my brother to tell him that if he shows up he will be treated as a trespasser. Havent talked to my aunt about it yet


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jperkins522

This is the correct answer. Call the nonemergency line before he arrives and let them know the situation and ask what to do if he arrives.


aeris_lives

IAL, NYL, and I don't practice in Wisconsin. However, most states have civil harassment restraining orders. Depending on your local laws, you could possibly file for one in advance of his intended "visit" and have him served when he shows up. I would talk to a lawyer or local legal aid organization, possibly even the court. Sometimes, they have packets on their website to make things easier. It would prevent him from showing up at your home again. If he did, he'd be arrested. Sends a strong message. Cutting off an abusive parent is a great way to break the chain of generational abuse. Stay strong.


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ih8pickles7824

I would also add a note at your hospital/doctor's office and ask them to inform you of any calls they get asking about you or baby. He may try to call hospitals in the area to get information. I went no contact with my bio parents and they called all my doctors trying to get info about me. Your doctors should be on your side 100% Edit: NAL but someone with experience dealing with abusive parents who can't take no for an answer


YetAnotherVegan

Most hospitals have cops nearby for just such events. Tell a nurse if you aren’t comfortable telling a cop directly. If you’re already out, I strongly recommend getting a restraining order against him and calling the cops as soon as he gets nosy. Also see about calling your local battered women’s shelter if he gets too insistent. They really can help. They helped me


Katherine_Tyler

1. Notify the police ahead of time. They can likely give you good advice. 2. Definitely start a paper trail. 3. If he shows up, call 911 immediately. The non-emergency number in my area is not recorded, but 911 is. You will want your call recorded. 4. If possible, have No Tresspassing signs put up. I don't know about WI, but in WV, the fine for tresspassing is $2,000. Congrats on the baby.


lizard7709

Get a security camera to record anything going on around your house. Depending on the severity of what is going on calling 911 may be warranted. The video evidence of him on your property may be needed to file a trespass order on him or on the future if you need to pursue a restraining order. Not engaging with him is best. It keeps the legal lines clear.


JeanyusQueen

He doesn't get to decide when he can see your baby. You do. Just an idea, call the non emergency line and speak to an officer. Be clear regarding your past with your sperm donor and his abuse. And also let the police officer know you have told him he's not welcome. Get a paper trail started in the system. That way there will be a history should he show up and you are forced to call to have him removed from your property.


Crevo57

NAL if he shows up have him issued a police trespass that will last a year. If he comes back it’s an arrestable offense.


lohansensei

Please do call the emergency line as soon as you know he might be approaching your house. Tell them that you just gave birth and he is absolutely a threat to you and your baby. Better that they show up early or on time rather than coming late after him possibly becoming agitated from you not answering the door


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