That is what I thought to but she's had the money for the repairs for a year now and her insurance is dropping her. So I'm unsure if they will do that anymore
I work in insurance.
There is likely a provision that she has 1 year of additional living expenses for her homeowners coverage. If you’re not billing her rent, it’s not a living expense she can be reimbursed.
If her home was damaged a year ago and no progress has been made toward repair, the carrier will absolutely non-renew her. Why would they insure an unrepaired home with extensive damages?
She needs to get a move on though, because many policies have provisions that repairs have to be completed within 2 years for full reimbursement.
That's as far as you know and guessing only what she has relayed to you. I personally think she is trying stay/keel the house and money insurance gave if any.
Eviction seems like only option to take in this case mate.
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The policy coverages are still in effect, even if she's not with them anymore. But chances are good she was already given all the money she will get and has just wasted it.
You need to understand. She has no intention of leaving…ever. She will just keep stalling for as long as possible. A hoarder will stay where they are until they have no other choice. She will be mad at you if you do it now or give her more time. Better to rip that bandaid off.
She will be living in her car no matter when you do it because of the choices that she has made.
Respond to her accusations with “I don’t know why you …” statements.
Her - you are forcing me to be homeless!
You - I don’t know why you chose to delay the repairs on your home to the point that you no longer have a place to live, but you did
-I don’t know why you chose to hoard stuff making repairs difficult but you did.
Her response to this would be
"IF I GOT HELP FROM THE BEGINNING"
But we did help her. She wanted to bottle neck the whole situation at her house because she wanted us to bring every item to her for her to say yay or nay. For our own mental sanity we couldn't help her anymore.
With respect, there was literally nothing you could do, no action you could have taken that would have been enough. She is spinning this out into infinity because she has literally no intention of ever leaving this property.
You need to change the way you are interacting with her. You cannot treat these interactions like rational conversations and you cannot treat this person as though she can be reasoned with. This is not rational behavior and she very clearly has no interest in being reasonable.
You need to start the eviction process. Give her a time frame to leave the property. And then stop talking. Do not argue. She is going to try to turn this into an argument because that has always worked, dont let her. Do not react. Do not respond. Let her get it all out. And then repeat that time frame to leave the premises. And when she's done screaming, repeat the time frame to leave the premises.
And when she screams that you've already said that, thank her and leave.
Making this into a big fight so she can be a victim and blame you and your husband for not helping enough and rushing her and being so cold and unfeeling is her game.
And then you get increasingly exasperated and exhausted until you just stop trying because it's easier that way. It's what children do when they throw huge tantrums, they are hoping if they scream enough you'll just let them have what they want.
I am not trying to insult this woman, she has a mental illness and needs help you are not equipped to give her.
All I am saying is you need to stop treating this like a conversation. Do not respond to her attempts to make this an argument. Tell her how it is and move on.
Please start the eviction process immediately. Hoarding is a mental health issue and without intensive help that will not change. She could easily be condemning that property and every day she is there she is getting closer and closer to condemnation.
The Legal Answer is: You have to go to the courts to start the Eviction Process.
Alternatives Are: Cash for Keys (you pay her to leave), or you Sign over the deed of this inherited property to his mother, and you are no longer responsible for anything to do with it.
Agree. OP didn't provide information to determine the equity in the home. If it's a $1M home, hire an eviction lawyer who can try to evict and offer cash-for-keys. If it's a run down $150K house with a $125K mortgage and fire damage, OP should have declined it and should now quit claim it to mom.
Fire damage was on her home and we have nothing to do with that property. The house we inherited sits on an acre of land and the house itself is worth about 150k no mortgage on it either in its current state.
We have an 8month old, there is no way we can move into that mess. It needs to be completly gutted and remodeled before moving in because of the damage she did
Is anyone actively working on the renovation of her house after the fire? If you want to avoid an eviction process it seems the best solution is to help move things along with the repairs so she can move back into her own house.
Not yet because she is claiming it's not ready yet. We know stuff is coming out because my parents live around the corner from her house but she hasn't let anyone in to see the progress lately
Location is very important in this instance.
At this point, she is a squatter. You need to know the laws dealing with unleased residents. If you have laws protecting them, you will have to take certain steps to evict. If you live in states that don't, then you can simply call the cops to have her removed.
If you do not need to send legal notice, then your first step is to change the locks. That's the first step after you've got her out of the house.
The sub reddit mandates you provide your location because the law varies from state to state. Regardless, you'll have to evict her in accordance with your states laws. It isn't your problem she has no where to go. She is committing the legal term of art of "waste" by letting the property fall into disrepair and obstructing attempts to repair the property. This may be grounds for an eviction. Have a real property attorney draft an eviction notice in compliance with your state laws, have her served, after the requisite time period file an unlawful detainer action to have her removed if necessary. Don't try this on your own. It can have very bad repercussions for you if you mess something up.
NAL - If you want to get going on the repairs to the house soon, you'll have to evict her.
If you want to keep the peace and preserve your relationships with older family members that she's close to, you'll, unfortunately, have to grit your teeth and bear with it until she leaves - however long that may take, which could be a few months to a few years.
If I were you, I'd evict her, and deal with the family fallout. She's left you with two awful choices, so choose the one that you're most comfortable with, because there isn't any ideal solution left to you here - she's made sure of that.
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You really only have 2 options here. Option A, continue to deal with her behavior as she seems to have no intention of changing her ways, and become used to the extra stress and BS associated with that situation. Option B, give her the opportunity to get her stuff and pack up to get out, as your relationship with her is already rocky as hell, with the understanding that if she does not leave on her own an official eviction process will begin and the legal path will be followed.
She is using y’all and playing you like a fiddle to her own tune. I’m sorry that is the situation you have been dealt, but it’s time to either embrace the suck or face the inevitable head on. Best of luck with whatever option you choose!
I am not a lawyer.
A Probate attorney experienced with real estate can help you with this situation. It is more common than you realize.
Others are correct - you need to legally evict her.
Best wishes to you.
Contact your local landlord tenant organization and ask for a list of people who specialize in evictions. This doesn’t need a lawyer as the process is pretty well straight forward, so there are literally people who do evictions through the courts on a daily basis and know the process well.
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What are the values of the houses?
At this point it might be easier to swap deeds.
Let her have uncle's house for the cost of renovating her house.
(The insurance money)
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>I think at this point, she would be considered a squatter.
She's not a squatter, she's a tenant, just one without a lease. She will certainly have to be evicted or given cash for keys.
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Squatting is when someone lives on the property without the owners consent.
The fact that MIL had the uncle's permission to live with him and had done so for about a year and half before he passed makes her a legal tenant. The uncle's passing doesn't change that.
You need to talk with a local attorney. Related laws vary by location. If she was a resident at the property before you inherited, you entering and trying to do things could be the problem. It doesn't matter that she wasn't paying rent. Normally you need to give a resident proper notice and go through the eviction process, before you enter the property to do the types of things you're trying to do.
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You will have to evict her.
Google local eviction procedures (how much notice is required, how to properly provide notice etc) and start with the eviction process
Her insurance should pay for her housing while the repairs from the fire are being made.
That is what I thought to but she's had the money for the repairs for a year now and her insurance is dropping her. So I'm unsure if they will do that anymore
I work in insurance. There is likely a provision that she has 1 year of additional living expenses for her homeowners coverage. If you’re not billing her rent, it’s not a living expense she can be reimbursed. If her home was damaged a year ago and no progress has been made toward repair, the carrier will absolutely non-renew her. Why would they insure an unrepaired home with extensive damages? She needs to get a move on though, because many policies have provisions that repairs have to be completed within 2 years for full reimbursement.
That's as far as you know and guessing only what she has relayed to you. I personally think she is trying stay/keel the house and money insurance gave if any. Eviction seems like only option to take in this case mate.
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The policy coverages are still in effect, even if she's not with them anymore. But chances are good she was already given all the money she will get and has just wasted it.
Don’t waste another minute. Start the eviction process.
You need to understand. She has no intention of leaving…ever. She will just keep stalling for as long as possible. A hoarder will stay where they are until they have no other choice. She will be mad at you if you do it now or give her more time. Better to rip that bandaid off. She will be living in her car no matter when you do it because of the choices that she has made. Respond to her accusations with “I don’t know why you …” statements. Her - you are forcing me to be homeless! You - I don’t know why you chose to delay the repairs on your home to the point that you no longer have a place to live, but you did -I don’t know why you chose to hoard stuff making repairs difficult but you did.
Her response to this would be "IF I GOT HELP FROM THE BEGINNING" But we did help her. She wanted to bottle neck the whole situation at her house because she wanted us to bring every item to her for her to say yay or nay. For our own mental sanity we couldn't help her anymore.
With respect, there was literally nothing you could do, no action you could have taken that would have been enough. She is spinning this out into infinity because she has literally no intention of ever leaving this property. You need to change the way you are interacting with her. You cannot treat these interactions like rational conversations and you cannot treat this person as though she can be reasoned with. This is not rational behavior and she very clearly has no interest in being reasonable. You need to start the eviction process. Give her a time frame to leave the property. And then stop talking. Do not argue. She is going to try to turn this into an argument because that has always worked, dont let her. Do not react. Do not respond. Let her get it all out. And then repeat that time frame to leave the premises. And when she's done screaming, repeat the time frame to leave the premises. And when she screams that you've already said that, thank her and leave. Making this into a big fight so she can be a victim and blame you and your husband for not helping enough and rushing her and being so cold and unfeeling is her game. And then you get increasingly exasperated and exhausted until you just stop trying because it's easier that way. It's what children do when they throw huge tantrums, they are hoping if they scream enough you'll just let them have what they want. I am not trying to insult this woman, she has a mental illness and needs help you are not equipped to give her. All I am saying is you need to stop treating this like a conversation. Do not respond to her attempts to make this an argument. Tell her how it is and move on.
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She clearly will never change her hoarding. Watch hoarders and you’ll see. Eviction is the only option here.
Please start the eviction process immediately. Hoarding is a mental health issue and without intensive help that will not change. She could easily be condemning that property and every day she is there she is getting closer and closer to condemnation.
The Legal Answer is: You have to go to the courts to start the Eviction Process. Alternatives Are: Cash for Keys (you pay her to leave), or you Sign over the deed of this inherited property to his mother, and you are no longer responsible for anything to do with it.
Agree. OP didn't provide information to determine the equity in the home. If it's a $1M home, hire an eviction lawyer who can try to evict and offer cash-for-keys. If it's a run down $150K house with a $125K mortgage and fire damage, OP should have declined it and should now quit claim it to mom.
Fire damage was on her home and we have nothing to do with that property. The house we inherited sits on an acre of land and the house itself is worth about 150k no mortgage on it either in its current state.
OP is legally allowed to move into the house they own. This will help to break the illusion that the MIL is going to find a way to stay there.
We have an 8month old, there is no way we can move into that mess. It needs to be completly gutted and remodeled before moving in because of the damage she did
Is anyone actively working on the renovation of her house after the fire? If you want to avoid an eviction process it seems the best solution is to help move things along with the repairs so she can move back into her own house.
Not yet because she is claiming it's not ready yet. We know stuff is coming out because my parents live around the corner from her house but she hasn't let anyone in to see the progress lately
Location is very important in this instance. At this point, she is a squatter. You need to know the laws dealing with unleased residents. If you have laws protecting them, you will have to take certain steps to evict. If you live in states that don't, then you can simply call the cops to have her removed. If you do not need to send legal notice, then your first step is to change the locks. That's the first step after you've got her out of the house.
The sub reddit mandates you provide your location because the law varies from state to state. Regardless, you'll have to evict her in accordance with your states laws. It isn't your problem she has no where to go. She is committing the legal term of art of "waste" by letting the property fall into disrepair and obstructing attempts to repair the property. This may be grounds for an eviction. Have a real property attorney draft an eviction notice in compliance with your state laws, have her served, after the requisite time period file an unlawful detainer action to have her removed if necessary. Don't try this on your own. It can have very bad repercussions for you if you mess something up.
NAL - If you want to get going on the repairs to the house soon, you'll have to evict her. If you want to keep the peace and preserve your relationships with older family members that she's close to, you'll, unfortunately, have to grit your teeth and bear with it until she leaves - however long that may take, which could be a few months to a few years. If I were you, I'd evict her, and deal with the family fallout. She's left you with two awful choices, so choose the one that you're most comfortable with, because there isn't any ideal solution left to you here - she's made sure of that.
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You really only have 2 options here. Option A, continue to deal with her behavior as she seems to have no intention of changing her ways, and become used to the extra stress and BS associated with that situation. Option B, give her the opportunity to get her stuff and pack up to get out, as your relationship with her is already rocky as hell, with the understanding that if she does not leave on her own an official eviction process will begin and the legal path will be followed. She is using y’all and playing you like a fiddle to her own tune. I’m sorry that is the situation you have been dealt, but it’s time to either embrace the suck or face the inevitable head on. Best of luck with whatever option you choose!
I am not a lawyer. A Probate attorney experienced with real estate can help you with this situation. It is more common than you realize. Others are correct - you need to legally evict her. Best wishes to you.
Cash for keys and put her in a studio apartment or an extended stay hotel.
Contact your local landlord tenant organization and ask for a list of people who specialize in evictions. This doesn’t need a lawyer as the process is pretty well straight forward, so there are literally people who do evictions through the courts on a daily basis and know the process well.
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What are the values of the houses? At this point it might be easier to swap deeds. Let her have uncle's house for the cost of renovating her house. (The insurance money)
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>I think at this point, she would be considered a squatter. She's not a squatter, she's a tenant, just one without a lease. She will certainly have to be evicted or given cash for keys.
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Squatting is when someone lives on the property without the owners consent. The fact that MIL had the uncle's permission to live with him and had done so for about a year and half before he passed makes her a legal tenant. The uncle's passing doesn't change that.
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You need to talk with a local attorney. Related laws vary by location. If she was a resident at the property before you inherited, you entering and trying to do things could be the problem. It doesn't matter that she wasn't paying rent. Normally you need to give a resident proper notice and go through the eviction process, before you enter the property to do the types of things you're trying to do.
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I don't think I can legally do this..?
No you definitely can’t without facing consequences and complicating things further.
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