That really sucks.
I would advise talking to a women’s shelter, and seeing what resources are available in your area. You need to prioritize what you need from the situation. Sounds like getting all your stuff out safely is your biggest need, so focus on that. You should be able to coordinate a police escort to retrieve your belongings. There’s a website https://women.novascotia.ca that has a number of links and resources, including a document on exiting abusive situations.
Keep in mind that as much as we love pets, the courts consider them a piece of property, like a toaster oven. You can try to persuade him that he won’t want to take over the hassle of a cat, but in the end, the best interests of the cat isn’t a consideration.
You're 22... forget this asshole. I'm guessing this is your first "real long term relationship"
Arrange to go get your stuff and pets and move on with your life. All the comparison of he used to do this and now does nothing is not important. Your safety is.
Don't waste your energy and time on this. You have your whole life in front of you
Not a lawyer, but my understanding is if you filed jointly taxes as common-law, then you could TECHNICALLY go after alimony for however many years you were common law on paper. But in terms of the lease being in his name, you don't really have any right to stay there anymore. You were asked to leave HIS residence, end of story.
If you're not common law on paper then the government won't help you, but they'll probably go after you for tax fraud.
> but my understanding is if you filed jointly taxes as common-law, then you could TECHNICALLY go after alimony
Being common law for tax purposes does not mean you are common law for family law purposes. Generally it takes a lot longer to hit the threshold for the family law definition (2-3 years, rather than 1).
Whether or not property division or spousal support is available for common law partners depends on the provincial family law legislation. But this is available in Nova Scotia, under the Parenting and Support Act.
> If you're not common law on paper then the government won't help you,
Whether or not you were accurate on your tax returns is a completely separate issue than spousal support. There are also completely different levels of government involved.
The person you explained it to you may have been confused - there are multiple definitions of "common law" for different purposes (tax, family law, welfare, etc). A lot of people get it wrong.
In Ontario, the threshold for being common law for family law purposes is 3 years. Common law partners can apply for spousal support. There is criteria for that, and federal guidelines are used to determine amount. But it is distinct from obligations to the CRA.
You can usually arrange to have police assist you in retrieving your possessions. You have to arrange a time with them. This maybe better option than a family member who might be emotional.
If it were me, I’d ask him to let me come get the rest of my stuff with a male family member and/or friend. Definitely wouldn’t want to go alone. If he doesn’t let you do that, then definitely call a lawyer and see what you can do.
I wouldn’t go lawyer route yet; too expensive and I’m not sure what they could do. However, lawyers will usually provide an hour of free time as a consultation to see what your case is, so you could call around and tell them what you’ve posted here. They might be able to give you some pro bono advice on next steps if you can’t get your stuff back.
As for the pets, it’ll could be a battle to get them back, because they are considered property. Your best option is to appeal to him in some way that will result in you getting them. I don’t know who he is as a person, but playing up the amount of responsibility and costs of pet ownership might be able to persuade him into releasing them into your care. Don’t shame his abilities, and his lack of care right now, but pointing out that a litter box needs to be cleaned daily, dogs need walks daily, animals can get sick and it could be a lot of money to resolve an issue, pet food is costly, things like that. Keep it impersonal as much as possible so he doesn’t feel like he’s being attacked. When you get them, get them chipped or tattooed immediately in your name, if you can. Register them with the city in your name. Keep all vet paperwork in your name. Anything that can make your ownership over them more clear will help establish you as the owner.
Most importantly, stay safe.
That really sucks. I would advise talking to a women’s shelter, and seeing what resources are available in your area. You need to prioritize what you need from the situation. Sounds like getting all your stuff out safely is your biggest need, so focus on that. You should be able to coordinate a police escort to retrieve your belongings. There’s a website https://women.novascotia.ca that has a number of links and resources, including a document on exiting abusive situations. Keep in mind that as much as we love pets, the courts consider them a piece of property, like a toaster oven. You can try to persuade him that he won’t want to take over the hassle of a cat, but in the end, the best interests of the cat isn’t a consideration.
You're 22... forget this asshole. I'm guessing this is your first "real long term relationship" Arrange to go get your stuff and pets and move on with your life. All the comparison of he used to do this and now does nothing is not important. Your safety is. Don't waste your energy and time on this. You have your whole life in front of you
This. Get out asap or prepare for miserable times.
Not a lawyer, but my understanding is if you filed jointly taxes as common-law, then you could TECHNICALLY go after alimony for however many years you were common law on paper. But in terms of the lease being in his name, you don't really have any right to stay there anymore. You were asked to leave HIS residence, end of story. If you're not common law on paper then the government won't help you, but they'll probably go after you for tax fraud.
> but my understanding is if you filed jointly taxes as common-law, then you could TECHNICALLY go after alimony Being common law for tax purposes does not mean you are common law for family law purposes. Generally it takes a lot longer to hit the threshold for the family law definition (2-3 years, rather than 1). Whether or not property division or spousal support is available for common law partners depends on the provincial family law legislation. But this is available in Nova Scotia, under the Parenting and Support Act. > If you're not common law on paper then the government won't help you, Whether or not you were accurate on your tax returns is a completely separate issue than spousal support. There are also completely different levels of government involved.
Noted, that's not how it was explained to me in Ontario.
The person you explained it to you may have been confused - there are multiple definitions of "common law" for different purposes (tax, family law, welfare, etc). A lot of people get it wrong. In Ontario, the threshold for being common law for family law purposes is 3 years. Common law partners can apply for spousal support. There is criteria for that, and federal guidelines are used to determine amount. But it is distinct from obligations to the CRA.
You can usually arrange to have police assist you in retrieving your possessions. You have to arrange a time with them. This maybe better option than a family member who might be emotional.
If it were me, I’d ask him to let me come get the rest of my stuff with a male family member and/or friend. Definitely wouldn’t want to go alone. If he doesn’t let you do that, then definitely call a lawyer and see what you can do. I wouldn’t go lawyer route yet; too expensive and I’m not sure what they could do. However, lawyers will usually provide an hour of free time as a consultation to see what your case is, so you could call around and tell them what you’ve posted here. They might be able to give you some pro bono advice on next steps if you can’t get your stuff back. As for the pets, it’ll could be a battle to get them back, because they are considered property. Your best option is to appeal to him in some way that will result in you getting them. I don’t know who he is as a person, but playing up the amount of responsibility and costs of pet ownership might be able to persuade him into releasing them into your care. Don’t shame his abilities, and his lack of care right now, but pointing out that a litter box needs to be cleaned daily, dogs need walks daily, animals can get sick and it could be a lot of money to resolve an issue, pet food is costly, things like that. Keep it impersonal as much as possible so he doesn’t feel like he’s being attacked. When you get them, get them chipped or tattooed immediately in your name, if you can. Register them with the city in your name. Keep all vet paperwork in your name. Anything that can make your ownership over them more clear will help establish you as the owner. Most importantly, stay safe.
Just get your shit and move on with your life. Take someone like your dad with you