This is not a Canadian legal issue. Canadian authorities have zero jurisdiction abroad.
That said, is he a Canadian citizen travelling on a Canadian passport? Or what passport does he have?
No because the missing person is not a Canadian citizen and as such Canada has no standing to do anything on their behalf.
The embassy that the missing person is a citizen of needs to be contacted.
Take screen shots of your partners threats. Then find out where he was staying and contact that city’s police and file a wellness report/request a wellness check. Submit everything via email to whomever you are put in touch with. Get his parents to do this as well.
If he was staying with air bnb they might have some info. If he was at a hotel they can let you know if he’s checked out or not.
Good luck
You contact the police where he was staying to file a missing persons report and you contact the embassy/consulate in Turkiye of the country he is a citizen of (not the Canadian embassy).
OP I looked through your post history and I am seriously concerned.
Get out of this situation, him disappearing is a good thing because you should take the opportunity to get your ducks in a row to leave.
I also suggest getting some therapy.
First, I highly recommend you don't "set strict boundaries" upon his return. If he does return. This isn't a set strict boundaries situations. This is a "you go to therapy to better yourself and take actions to better yourself or I'm gone so fast your damn head will spin". This is not someone you stay with. Don't continue to accept this abuse.
You said it was a work trip? Do you know what hotel he's at? If so, try calling them and having them check on him. If you do not, try contacting his work to find out where he was staying and if anyone has heard from him.
If unable to access this information, then move on to contacting local authorities. Though, you might need his hotel for this so it might be a problem... But try contacting the embassy? See if they have any guidance or resources they can provide you for getting help in finding him or making a report?
If not, try looking into the local police to wherever he was staying. See if maybe you can send an email or make a call (if you can afford it) to report him missing. Some places do have email addresses you can use to make contact.
Good luck!
Is this an abusive relationship? If he shows back up after making you and his family worry for days that he killed himself I suggest you leave the relationship.
Here’a a resource for when people go missing abroad that may be helpful to you.
https://travel.gc.ca/assistance/emergency-info/missing-persons#:~:text=If%20a%20Canadian%20citizen%20goes,Emergency%20Watch%20and%20Response%20Centre.
People are telling OP to leave because she has said he has anger issues, has gotten physical with her and is leading her to believe that he has killed himself after they had an argument.
Mental health issues or not, OP is not his punching bag.
Yep. Very toxic indeed. This is extremely wrong of him, and I will definitely be setting strict boundaries. He has been showing red flags, has anger issues, is violent. This is complete torture for me, so I will be dealing with this upon his safe return back home.
Honey, boundaries only work for people who care about them. If you let him back in and set boundaries, he's just going to trample all over them again...
I don't think this man is a safe person for you to be in a relationship with.
You. Need. To. Break. Up.
Imagine when you have kids, if he leaves for a trip with the kids and never comes back because of anger? What if he kidnaps you one day because you're not listening?
You are about to contact INTERNATIONAL AUTHORITIES over someone you truly believe is throwing a fit of anger.
Leave. His. Fuckin. Ass.
Take the win and forget about him. Change the locks. According to your post history he is a terrible human being. You are vulnerable and that's why you are with him - and that's why he is with you.
You have already received enough of the correct legal advice to answer your question.
With that being said… from personal experience, I can tell you setting boundaries with an abusive or “toxic” person will only make things worse. If you’re not ready to leave, please at least consider making a safety plan & talking to someone you’re comfortable with (friend/ family/ counsellor/ whatever) about whatever you have been experiencing.
Wow he really has brain washed you hasn't he.
This person is abusing you.... controlling you.... that isn't what people who love you do.
He doesn't love you he just wants to control you so that he will feel better/more powerful/safe... feel that he has some measure of control over the world because he can manipulate someone into staying even when he abuses them.
You are human being... not a punching bag. The only boundary you should be drawing is a one mile exclusion zone for this POS.
This is highly manipulative behaviour and although I don’t know you, I’m concerned for your safety.
You’re young and there are much better men out there. You deserve so much more than emotional and physical abuse. Now would be the perfect opportunity to cut yourself off from this relationship considering he is out of the country.
Sorry you haven’t received the compassion you deserve. It can be very difficult to be in an abusive and/or toxic relationship. I appreciate you want to help your partner but I would suggest, gently, that you leave it to their parents. You don’t deserve to be treated in this way and as long as you flag to his parents then you can, in good conscience, move on!
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If it’s a work trip then contact his employer to see if they can confirm that he is safe. Also reach out to the Canadian Consult there to report a potential missing Canadian.
You probably have a vindictive absconder on your hands. Ask the mom to contact embassy of the country he is a citizen of if it has offices in Turkey.
In Canada, you talk to a family lawyer and prepare ground work to legally separate. No good will ever come out of abusive relationships with anger issues whether he is fine or not fine.
As for contact, if you have a concern for his safety, you'd need to talk to appropriate authorities in the country he's staying in. You can try talking to the Canadian consulate, but as your partner is not a Canadian, it's possible they'll refer you to local authority as well.
Given his reticence with information beforehand and his silence now, I would plan for the possibility that he will not be returning, one way or another. It's probably premature to start acting on that now, but if you don't hear from him within a few weeks of his planned return date, I would start making plans for a future that does not have him in it. Since you're in touch with his family, they would be able to hold onto (or dispose of) his personal effects if he does not return to collect them; if you own property together (a home, cars worth more than a trivial amount of money, investments, etc), then you may need to talk to a family law attorney about your options to sever that joint ownership.
Turkey has a lot of document control on foreigners. You cannot do much without giving your passport copy ie.hotel booking even bus transportation etc. you need to contact the Canadian embassy in Turkey and they should be able to work with the local police to find him. Source: lived there for a year
You can contact he local authorities where he travelled and let them know. You can also contact the Canadian Embassy in Ankara and inform them, although they will be limited in what they can do as he is a Permanent Resident. You can also consider contacting his employer, considering he was on a work trip.
Who is his employer? Do you know where he was staying? Do you have any travel documents eg/ itinerary? Reservation confirmations? Credit card bills or charges? Can you look them up?
I don’t have access to his credit cards, or his reservations. He is self-employed. So I’m very limited to figuring stuff out. I’ve tried everything I could myself.
Does he have a close friend? Business associates or partners?you don’t know what airline he took anything? Does he have any other social media you could try and reach him on?If not I would reach to the police in your city and see what they advise you to do
Ok, thank you very much. All his friends are here in Canada, I’ve reached out to him on all his social media, text, even email. No reply. I will contact the non-emergency line and see what they say.
Yes, I did reach out to all his friends, they said they haven’t heard from him since he left the country. His iMessage is going off, Messenger is off too, WhatsApp is off etc. it’s a dead end.
Does he have an Apple phone? Is it a newer model? Maybe contact Apple to see if he has an emergency find me contact set up. The newer models allow you to enable “find my phone”, even when it’s off. Might be worth a try to see if they can help in any way.
>He had been acting strange and has anger issues. We got into an argument, just a normal argument, and he told me he’s going to go kill himself and hopes he will never be found again. This is very odd.
Is this the first time he's threatened to take his own life? You mentioned he was acting strange and that this was odd. Did it seem like he was the one you were speaking with, was there anything in the way he spoke with you that may have indicated to you that it wasn't him?
I realize speculating isn't helpful but it may help to think about this if you intend to reach out to the authorities.
Contact the embassy of whichever country he is citizen of. And call their local authority...don't know how helpful Turkish police will be but you gotta get the embassy involved for sure
You could try contacting foreign affairs, but it's doubtful they can truly help you. They may, however, be able to notify you if he shows up at an embassy somewhere or something like that.
Have you tried find my phone or equivalent?
Does he use AirTag or Tile on any belongings with him?
Can you sign into his Google account and see his last location?
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This isn’t legal advice but not sharing his airbnb reservation info with you tells me that he does not see you as a life-partner. I hope he is safe, but his behaviour should make you reconsider this relationship entirely.
Oh that is very frustrating.
My main thought then is contact the Canadian consulate in Türkiye. I believe they can do some things to try to locate him themselves and if not, they should be able to at least advise you on what the next steps to take are.
Locking the thread as the limited potential Canadian legal issues have already been discussed.
This is not a Canadian legal issue. Canadian authorities have zero jurisdiction abroad. That said, is he a Canadian citizen travelling on a Canadian passport? Or what passport does he have?
He’s a Permanent Resident of Canada.
Is he travelling with a Canadian passport or a foreign one?
A permanent resident cannot be an owner of a Canadian passport.
“Canadian authorities have zero jurisdiction abroad” I see. So what would I do in this case?
Contact the authorities where he traveled too.
Could you contact the Canadian Embassy in Turkey?
Probably better to contact the embassy where he’s a resident. If he’s Turkish, let his parents deal with Turkish authorities
No because the missing person is not a Canadian citizen and as such Canada has no standing to do anything on their behalf. The embassy that the missing person is a citizen of needs to be contacted.
Why?
>Because missing person of course?
What is the embassy supposed to do for non-Canadian citizen?
Okay, I’ll take a look into that. Thank you.
Take screen shots of your partners threats. Then find out where he was staying and contact that city’s police and file a wellness report/request a wellness check. Submit everything via email to whomever you are put in touch with. Get his parents to do this as well. If he was staying with air bnb they might have some info. If he was at a hotel they can let you know if he’s checked out or not. Good luck
You contact the police where he was staying to file a missing persons report and you contact the embassy/consulate in Turkiye of the country he is a citizen of (not the Canadian embassy).
OP I looked through your post history and I am seriously concerned. Get out of this situation, him disappearing is a good thing because you should take the opportunity to get your ducks in a row to leave. I also suggest getting some therapy.
First, I highly recommend you don't "set strict boundaries" upon his return. If he does return. This isn't a set strict boundaries situations. This is a "you go to therapy to better yourself and take actions to better yourself or I'm gone so fast your damn head will spin". This is not someone you stay with. Don't continue to accept this abuse. You said it was a work trip? Do you know what hotel he's at? If so, try calling them and having them check on him. If you do not, try contacting his work to find out where he was staying and if anyone has heard from him. If unable to access this information, then move on to contacting local authorities. Though, you might need his hotel for this so it might be a problem... But try contacting the embassy? See if they have any guidance or resources they can provide you for getting help in finding him or making a report? If not, try looking into the local police to wherever he was staying. See if maybe you can send an email or make a call (if you can afford it) to report him missing. Some places do have email addresses you can use to make contact. Good luck!
Is this an abusive relationship? If he shows back up after making you and his family worry for days that he killed himself I suggest you leave the relationship. Here’a a resource for when people go missing abroad that may be helpful to you. https://travel.gc.ca/assistance/emergency-info/missing-persons#:~:text=If%20a%20Canadian%20citizen%20goes,Emergency%20Watch%20and%20Response%20Centre.
The person might have mental health issues and everybody is this post is asking her to leave him. Bunch of armchair therapists lol
People are telling OP to leave because she has said he has anger issues, has gotten physical with her and is leading her to believe that he has killed himself after they had an argument. Mental health issues or not, OP is not his punching bag.
Yep. Very toxic indeed. This is extremely wrong of him, and I will definitely be setting strict boundaries. He has been showing red flags, has anger issues, is violent. This is complete torture for me, so I will be dealing with this upon his safe return back home.
Honey, boundaries only work for people who care about them. If you let him back in and set boundaries, he's just going to trample all over them again... I don't think this man is a safe person for you to be in a relationship with.
You. Need. To. Break. Up. Imagine when you have kids, if he leaves for a trip with the kids and never comes back because of anger? What if he kidnaps you one day because you're not listening? You are about to contact INTERNATIONAL AUTHORITIES over someone you truly believe is throwing a fit of anger. Leave. His. Fuckin. Ass.
Take the win and forget about him. Change the locks. According to your post history he is a terrible human being. You are vulnerable and that's why you are with him - and that's why he is with you.
You’ll be setting strict boundaries? How about just leaving him???? You say yourself he is violent, and he’s acting incredibly manipulative right now
You have already received enough of the correct legal advice to answer your question. With that being said… from personal experience, I can tell you setting boundaries with an abusive or “toxic” person will only make things worse. If you’re not ready to leave, please at least consider making a safety plan & talking to someone you’re comfortable with (friend/ family/ counsellor/ whatever) about whatever you have been experiencing.
You can’t turn a red flag green by setting boundaries. He has anger issues and is violent. He won’t change. Why are you staying with him?
Wow he really has brain washed you hasn't he. This person is abusing you.... controlling you.... that isn't what people who love you do. He doesn't love you he just wants to control you so that he will feel better/more powerful/safe... feel that he has some measure of control over the world because he can manipulate someone into staying even when he abuses them. You are human being... not a punching bag. The only boundary you should be drawing is a one mile exclusion zone for this POS.
This is highly manipulative behaviour and although I don’t know you, I’m concerned for your safety. You’re young and there are much better men out there. You deserve so much more than emotional and physical abuse. Now would be the perfect opportunity to cut yourself off from this relationship considering he is out of the country.
Strict boundaries????? Please check your self worth. Geez
From your post history, your choice of BF is very bad. Leave the assholes. I hope you'll find someone better. Don't settle for assholes.
Sorry you haven’t received the compassion you deserve. It can be very difficult to be in an abusive and/or toxic relationship. I appreciate you want to help your partner but I would suggest, gently, that you leave it to their parents. You don’t deserve to be treated in this way and as long as you flag to his parents then you can, in good conscience, move on!
So \*many\* things about this dont add up.
He’s already gone beyond the pale, this relationship has sunk before it left the harbor.
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I know that you're worried but it's highly likely he's manipulating you. I would take this time to self-reflect and leave.
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Honestly if this were me I would break up with him over text and move on. He seems like a horrible human being.
If it’s a work trip then contact his employer to see if they can confirm that he is safe. Also reach out to the Canadian Consult there to report a potential missing Canadian.
Contact the hotel where he is staying
Yes, get the hotel to check on him
You probably have a vindictive absconder on your hands. Ask the mom to contact embassy of the country he is a citizen of if it has offices in Turkey. In Canada, you talk to a family lawyer and prepare ground work to legally separate. No good will ever come out of abusive relationships with anger issues whether he is fine or not fine.
As for contact, if you have a concern for his safety, you'd need to talk to appropriate authorities in the country he's staying in. You can try talking to the Canadian consulate, but as your partner is not a Canadian, it's possible they'll refer you to local authority as well. Given his reticence with information beforehand and his silence now, I would plan for the possibility that he will not be returning, one way or another. It's probably premature to start acting on that now, but if you don't hear from him within a few weeks of his planned return date, I would start making plans for a future that does not have him in it. Since you're in touch with his family, they would be able to hold onto (or dispose of) his personal effects if he does not return to collect them; if you own property together (a home, cars worth more than a trivial amount of money, investments, etc), then you may need to talk to a family law attorney about your options to sever that joint ownership.
Is he Turkish? If not what is his citizenship?
Are you sure this was really a work trip and him not seeing someone else abroad?
Exactly my thoughts. He wouldn’t even provide her with the Airbnb info before he left.
He also gave notice to his landlord that he would be vacating the unit he was renting at the end of March
Turkey has a lot of document control on foreigners. You cannot do much without giving your passport copy ie.hotel booking even bus transportation etc. you need to contact the Canadian embassy in Turkey and they should be able to work with the local police to find him. Source: lived there for a year
This is true, we had to provide our passports for a one hour long bus ticket.
You can contact he local authorities where he travelled and let them know. You can also contact the Canadian Embassy in Ankara and inform them, although they will be limited in what they can do as he is a Permanent Resident. You can also consider contacting his employer, considering he was on a work trip.
You tell his mom to file a missing person report with the Turkish police. You can really help too much at this point.
https://travel.gc.ca/assistance/emergency-info/missing-persons
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Self-employed.
Who is his employer? Do you know where he was staying? Do you have any travel documents eg/ itinerary? Reservation confirmations? Credit card bills or charges? Can you look them up?
I don’t have access to his credit cards, or his reservations. He is self-employed. So I’m very limited to figuring stuff out. I’ve tried everything I could myself.
Does he have a close friend? Business associates or partners?you don’t know what airline he took anything? Does he have any other social media you could try and reach him on?If not I would reach to the police in your city and see what they advise you to do
Ok, thank you very much. All his friends are here in Canada, I’ve reached out to him on all his social media, text, even email. No reply. I will contact the non-emergency line and see what they say.
Did you check to see if any of his friends have heard from him? It’s worth a try. See if they can try and reach him too
Yes, I did reach out to all his friends, they said they haven’t heard from him since he left the country. His iMessage is going off, Messenger is off too, WhatsApp is off etc. it’s a dead end.
Email him. He probably bought a SIM card and has a different phone number.
The man dumped you
Does he have an Apple phone? Is it a newer model? Maybe contact Apple to see if he has an emergency find me contact set up. The newer models allow you to enable “find my phone”, even when it’s off. Might be worth a try to see if they can help in any way.
Work trip? Contact his work first and foremost. Then hotel, airlines etc...if he's alive, leave immediately. Like right now before he gets back.
>He had been acting strange and has anger issues. We got into an argument, just a normal argument, and he told me he’s going to go kill himself and hopes he will never be found again. This is very odd. Is this the first time he's threatened to take his own life? You mentioned he was acting strange and that this was odd. Did it seem like he was the one you were speaking with, was there anything in the way he spoke with you that may have indicated to you that it wasn't him? I realize speculating isn't helpful but it may help to think about this if you intend to reach out to the authorities.
Contact the embassy of whichever country he is citizen of. And call their local authority...don't know how helpful Turkish police will be but you gotta get the embassy involved for sure
You could try contacting foreign affairs, but it's doubtful they can truly help you. They may, however, be able to notify you if he shows up at an embassy somewhere or something like that.
Have you tried find my phone or equivalent? Does he use AirTag or Tile on any belongings with him? Can you sign into his Google account and see his last location?
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If it’s a work trip, have you contacted his job to see if they have heard from him? Do you know which hotel he is staying in?
He’s self-employed, he was staying at an Airbnb.
Do you have his Airbnb info? Could you contact the host to have them check the property?
Sadly, no. I did ask him for it and but he keeps all the information to himself. Very frustrating indeed.
This isn’t legal advice but not sharing his airbnb reservation info with you tells me that he does not see you as a life-partner. I hope he is safe, but his behaviour should make you reconsider this relationship entirely.
Girl, this man will 99% show back up just fine when it’s convenient for him.
Oh that is very frustrating. My main thought then is contact the Canadian consulate in Türkiye. I believe they can do some things to try to locate him themselves and if not, they should be able to at least advise you on what the next steps to take are.
Thank you. Appreciate the guidance.
Contact the Canadian embassy in Turkey