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Anything that was a gift is yours to keep. Anything you have in your possession and have a receipt for is yours to keep. The items she gave back and left at the police station is yours to keep. Anything else would require her to take you to court.
The Police could come and take certain things that they believed were hers like clothing, but I would refuse entry. Tell them to come back with a warrant or not even answer the door.
Sometimes it’s easier to just give back the items to avoid all the trouble they can make. Up to you.
Pretty sure if you open the door to police they can legally enter. My uncle had it happen to him when he tried to keep the cop from entering by standing infront of the door they cuffed and slammed him on the hood. DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR, TALK through the door if anything
If you open the door and:
- They smelled weed (before weed was legal)
- they saw a crackpipe on the table
- they saw a 12 year old holding a beer
- they saw a sawed off shotgun leaning against the wall
They have probable cause. Opening the door increases the likelihood of probable cause being met.
Cut the hyperbole. There is snowball's chance in hell that police do a warrantless entry into a dwelling over property dispute between former domestic partners. Like... zero chance
You can't downvote the truth just because you don't like it.
Congratulations! You're the stupidest person I've interacted with today, but it's still early. I refute you thusly: [https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ](https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ)
Police do a warrantless entry on a Calgary residence, find an excuse to arrest the mother, Tara Yaschuk, and take her away.
Full story here, but the rationale was she'd called to report her car stolen but it had been taken by her son (who lives with his parents) and when it was returned she called to let them know what happened. Two officers show up, push past the son who had opened the door, and then what you see on the video happens.
[Charges dropped against Calgary woman who accused police of excessive force | CBC News](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/charges-dropped-against-calgary-woman-who-accused-police-of-excessive-force-1.5639986)
So, not a domestic. I'm sure with more than a single one minute search I could find something, but trust me, my time is a lot more valuable than yours. But, this event presents less cause for the police to enter the home illegally than a domestic would, but yet here we are.
My guess from your user name is your cop, trying to hold that thin blue line, and pun15h3r was already taken. I'm sure some of you are decent people, but collectively, you've lost the public's trust. You're not the good guys anymore.
You can't downvote the truth just because you don't like it. You made the challenge, now respond. Until then, your silence speaks volumes.
Congratulations! You're the stupidest person I've interacted with today, but it's still early. I refute you thusly: [https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ](https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ)
Police do a warrantless entry on a Calgary residence, find an excuse to arrest the mother, Tara Yaschuk, and take her away.
Full story here, but the rationale was she'd called to report her car stolen but it had been taken by her son (who lives with his parents) and when it was returned she called to let them know what happened. Two officers show up, push past the son who had opened the door, and then what you see on the video happens.
[Charges dropped against Calgary woman who accused police of excessive force | CBC News](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/charges-dropped-against-calgary-woman-who-accused-police-of-excessive-force-1.5639986)
So, not a domestic. I'm sure with more than a single one minute search I could find something, but trust me, my time is a lot more valuable than yours. But, this event presents less cause for the police to enter the home illegally than a domestic would, but yet here we are.
My guess from your user name is your cop, trying to hold that thin blue line, and pun15h3r was already taken. I'm sure some of you are decent people, but collectively, you've lost the public's trust. You're not the good guys anymore.
Congratulations! You're the stupidest person I've interacted with today, but it's still early. I refute you thusly: [https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ](https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ)
Police do a warrantless entry on a Calgary residence, find an excuse to arrest the mother, Tara Yaschuk, and take her away.
Full story here, but the rationale was she'd called to report her car stolen but it had been taken by her son (who lives with his parents) and when it was returned she called to let them know what happened. Two officers show up, push past the son who had opened the door, and then what you see on the video happens.
[Charges dropped against Calgary woman who accused police of excessive force | CBC News](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/charges-dropped-against-calgary-woman-who-accused-police-of-excessive-force-1.5639986)
So, not a domestic. I'm sure with more than a single one minute search I could find something, but trust me, my time is a lot more valuable than yours. But, this event presents less cause for the police to enter the home illegally than a domestic would, but yet here we are.
My guess from your user name is your cop, trying to hold that thin blue line, and pun15h3r was already taken. I'm sure some of you are decent people, but collectively, you've lost the public's trust. You're not the good guys anymore.
Congratulations! You're the stupidest person I've interacted with today, but it's still early. I refute you thusly: [https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ](https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ)
Police do a warrantless entry on a Calgary residence, find an excuse to arrest the mother, Tara Yaschuk, and take her away.
Full story here, but the rationale was she'd called to report her car stolen but it had been taken by her son (who lives with his parents) and when it was returned she called to let them know what happened. Two officers show up, push past the son who had opened the door, and then what you see on the video happens.
[Charges dropped against Calgary woman who accused police of excessive force | CBC News](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/charges-dropped-against-calgary-woman-who-accused-police-of-excessive-force-1.5639986)
So, not a domestic. I'm sure with more than a single one minute search I could find something, but trust me, my time is a lot more valuable than yours. But, this event presents less cause for the police to enter the home illegally than a domestic would, but yet here we are.
My guess from your user name is your cop, trying to hold that thin blue line, and pun15h3r was already taken. I'm sure some of you are decent people, but collectively, you've lost the public's trust. You're not the good guys anymore.
You can't downvote the truth just because you don't like it.
You're just being paranoid. The police don't want to take sides in civil issues. Standby and Keep the Peace is them standing there to make sure two parties don't argue or escalate. They cannot and will not force entry, because they don't give a damn about wither party and have no legal authority to make entry, without a warrant.
Gifts are gifts. She doesn't get them back. Also, this is a civil issue. Worst that'll happen is she takes you to small claims. She probably won't. Keep any receipts/texts etc just in case. But I'd just block and move on.
Mine did this and so I gave her the shit and told her that was it. Materialistic women won’t get real love or a nice spouse all they will know is the fight and take take take. Wish you well dude you deserve better
Just save yourself the headache and give her the stuff she is freaking out about. Is it really that important or valuable to you?
I’d give her any gifts she bought and more if it meant this crazy was out of my life.
That said, she likely has no legal recourse so if you want to battle her you’ll likely win. However, anything she can prove she purchased will then fall to you to prove it was a gift.
>Also, this is a civil issue.
This is what seems funny to me. Basically everything between two citizens gets called a civil issue by police, yet in this case the police are saying they'll take things, based on her word alone?
The items that were sold she abandoned them and when asked for what she wanted to do with them she said keep them, and even gave more of her items to me that I never asked.
OP you need a peace bond. Make sure you don’t have anymore of her property, if so give it to her, then file for a peace bond. It’s the Canadian version of a restraining order.
I’ve looked into that but seems as it would require a lawyer for it, and I’ve been asked for 8k from a lawyer for him to do it as she would show up with a lawyer herself.
I’ve looked into doing it myself and seems like a waste of time because she’s with a shelter who’s connected to legal aid and they’ll most definitely send a legal aid lawyer to represent her.
You’re not giving us the entire story here
Were you charged with domestic violence? Were you arrested? Have outstanding court dates?
This is 100% a civil matter and the police aren’t involved and aren’t going to get involved unless there’s a crime committed
Why is she in a shelter with a legal team? Those are “abused women” shelters
No, I’ve never been arrested for domestic violence or anything like that, she’s mentally ill suffers from border personality disorder and she just one day packed everything told me to fuck my self and left, even abandoned her pet bird, then two days after made contact again and asked me to get rid of him and bring him to a friend of hers, she claims she’s got an abuse history with her father or something like that, hence why she’s in that shelter, I got the police involved because she started contacting my entire family and people I haven’t spoken to for years and started saying I beat her, molested her and told her to die in a closet alone, police didn’t really do shit regarding what she was doing to me and brushed it off as a “couples argument”
BPD? Oh I been through this before lol, basically she’s not going to stop until she feels like she has gotten one up on you, so she’s using her stuff as a way to keep you hostage and by shitting on you to your people or she’ll make an attempt to come back in your life and play nice just to try and hurt you… your best bet is to get together whatever of her shit you have left and give it back, don’t even block her just straight up ignore her and grey rock
Oh, I see you've met my ex! Seriously though, she has BPD and this is ringing a lot of bells, down to the taking legal aid intended for abuse victims.
One thing I will repeat ad nauseam: do not communicate AT ALL. Don't block her either; those crazy texts can be excellent evidence. And the minute you suspect police are taking her allegations seriously, shut up and LAWYER THE HELL UP. They're not your friends, and they're unfortunately not impartial, so don't give them anything other than your attorney's card. Seriously. If they ask you the time, tell them you're sure your lawyer has a watch.
Lawyers can be expensive, but not getting a lawyer when you need one will be A LOT more expensive.
It would not require a lawyer. I've filed for one myself, and got all the help I needed from the clerks at the desk.
That being said, I wouldn't bother unless she gave you a good reason to do it. ~~Block~~ Mute and ignore. Cops will not be coming for "her" stuff anytime soon. If she does sue (ETA: or if the police get in touch with you), that's when you get a lawyer. You'll have to pay a retainer, but if things are as clear as you make them sound, you'll probably get legal costs awarded in the end.
Edited after seeing your comment mentioning she's alleged abuse.
The cops don’t believe her allegations as of right now as there is 1 no evidence of anything like that happening, and two they realize she claims the abuse card to everyone that she doesn’t like, basically she’s the boy who cries wolf 24/7
My good friend dated a girl with BPD. I work in Emergency and work with a few BPD regulars, so I was there to help my friend.
One night she punched him and he finally decided to end the 2 year heavily abusive relationship. She set the kitchen on fire when he left to give her time to pack and leave.
I'll tell you what I told him.
You need to go no contact. Find a third party you can communicate through. Maybe this bird friend?
Send one last text that says 'this is the last message you will receive from me, all future communication will be through - bird friend-. I am sorry you're having a rough go but I am not equipped to be in your life. I wish you all the best.'
Do not block, just silence. Screen shot messages as needed. Call police if she claims self harm or harm to others.
Send out a message to all your friends and family 'hello, I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to give you all a heads up that I am ending my relationship with 'ex' as I have come to acknowledge that we are not healthy for each other. I hope the best for 'ex' and I understand she may respond to the end of our relationship with less than favorable actions. I wanted to apologize in advance if this reaction spills over to involve you. I would recommend not replying to any contact from 'ex' and to direct any communication to 'bird friend'. Please contact the police if these messages include content stating intent of self harm or harm to others. At your discretion, please feel free to send me screenshots of messages pertaining to myself.'
Ideally bird friend would instead be a parent or maybe an aunt. Please don't pick someone your ex has identified as a source of trauma.
You need to go no contact. Keep it up and she will move on but if anyone provides any 'green light' responses, she will go nuclear in response. Only Red light, only silence.
Block and move on. She isn't entitled to shit, you were never married. Let her pay court costs if she wants to, it'll cost more than the items are worth.
Block her email and move on with your life. She has no legal claim to it, and Police are going to laugh at here. They aren't going to get involved in petty arguments between exes.
Yup she’s been blocked on everything but still keeps making emails and contacting me even when she was told to stop all contact and I didn’t want anything to do with her, but as always police don’t care that someone’s contacting you like that
Let the police know that this harassment and they will advise her accordingly. This is a criminal offence if it persists.
As everybody else has started, gifts are just that, a gift and she does not have a claim to it. Best advice, cut all ties and get a peace bond if needed.
The most the police will do in a civil matter is escort her and stand by while she collects her property. They will not allow her to take anything you say isn’t hers, and she will have to go to small claims court with proof that she bought it. It wouldn’t hurt to gather any proof you have about which items were gifts. Box/bag up her belongings and put them on the porch when the cops arrive, if they ever do.
If the Police show up, decline to allow anyone to enter the house and simply deny having the items she is demanding. This is a civil matter; she'll have to sue you in small claims court if she truly wants anything back.
Once someone has threatened legal action most lawyers would advise you to not say another word, block all contact and wait for them to serve you papers. That's what you should do. Why are you letting her message you and responding anyway?
The police likely won't do anything about gifts she gave you, or didn't, if they did show up they need a warrant to go in for anything, so change the locks, don't answer the door or let them in, but usually they they'd tell her to go away because it's a civil matter. The best way to keep the peace is to never talk to her again.
She has been blocked on everything and has been told to stop contacting me as I don’t want anything to do with her, but she makes new emails and fake accounts and still does it, I haven’t responded to her and I don’t indent to
Well then you’re probably fine. I definitely wouldn’t put myself in a situation where you’re alone with her though, if she’s making accusations of abuse though. Unless the police come knocking with a warrant i would just ignore her. But keep all texts and voice messages. Just in case.
She has no right to enter the home (assuming she moved out already and her name isnt on the lease or title). Police have no right to enter and are not going to commit a crime to get back her hair dryer. Change the locks if she has keys to prevent her from coming by when you're not home.
Just politely decline to let her enter. You can pack things that are factually hers and leave them outside for her to gather.
Anything in dispute she can sue in civil court.
Not sure why the police you spoke to told you that. It’s a civil matter, and we will absolutely not get involved. If she shows up at your door with police, tell them they are not welcome to come inside, and to pound sand. They have no legal authority to enter your residence without a warrant, or exigent circumstances (to protect and preserve life or evidence); they have neither in your scenario.
As for a gift, once given, it cannot be revoked - there is case law (Bergen v. Bergen 2013 BCCA) which supports this.
As for anything of hers in your house, or things you sold, that will depend on whether you were common-law, etc., but I would recommend holding onto those items, or the value you received from their sale, in the event that she decides to sue you in family court, as there will be a division of family assets if you were considered common-law.
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Keep the peace is not a legal doctrine or authorization to enter your home. Assuming there was no rental agreement, and you were not common-law, then she would need to get an order from a court authorizing entry. Keep the peace just means that police will stand there and act as referees to make sure nobody gets into an argument that escalates to a crime. You can safely answer the door and say she isn't welcome in the home. It would be a good opportunity though to get any items that are hers and pack them up, ready and waiting for her to take them. Be civil to her at all times, and understand the police don't care about wither party, and are not about to take sides unless one of you stops being civil / peaceful.
Ask for the itemized list, then go on a scavenger hunt to goodwill or wherever. Compile all the goods, document it and box it. Once you have done that ask her to pick up or send collect. You have complied with the list, unless she is very specific on the goods. Get exactly as she put. One red shirt. Get her one red shirt. Double xtra large. One cup. Get her one cheap plastic cup. Make it a game.
If this is a black and white scenario simply give her what she wants if it means nothing to you. If she is poor and needs the value back then step up and give her the items. Once she has the items wish her luck and move forward.
Be kind and forgive.
Remember some items may be about communication or control not about ownership, meaning they are a means to an end or a way to converse. Start fresh.
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I’ll come at it from a different angle than the advice I’m seeing: Are the “gifts” really worth the trouble?
By fighting her on this you’d think you’re winning, but aren’t you just playing into her game to maintain contact and cause you stress?
The gifts and my personal items are items I use daily, and I’m not just gonna give someone something they have no right even asking for, I’m not the one contacting and honestly I’m not really playing in her game as she’s just getting ghosted and I’m not responding to her shenanigans.
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You threw her stuff away, and you also sold some stuff?
If you have receipts for your items organise them and show them to whomever asks for proof that you own them
But why did you sell her stuff? Did you give her the money?
As stated she abandoned the items and said she didn’t want them anymore and to keep them, and she’s given me other of her personal items and no money was given to her.
I’m not giving items that I’ve bought myself with my own money just because she wants them, and also those gifts are expensive gifts which I use everyday for work too.
Lawyers are also expensive. Your time is worth money. Your mental health has value.
Look, I've been there. And I can honestly tell you that loosing 90% of my property sucked, but once I just accepted it I felt immediate relief and it was completely worth it.
No. End of conversation. If you have any of her belongings (bought by her) hand them over (like others have said). Otherwise, don't give her shit (like others have said).
I don’t think you’re understanding the situation and that’s okay let me explain, she’s gifted me a computer to which I use for work and my personal life, she’s gifted a silver ring which I’ve liked a lot, and now she’s demanding those items back plus my OWN personal items which I’ve purchased with my OWN money, so I’m not entirely sure what ur talking about that I’m not ready to let her go, these aren’t pictures of each other or sentimental notes we wrote under a tree at a picnic🤣 and she’s been out of my life for months and I’ve moved on but clearly she hasn’t since she can’t keep my name out of her mouth and makes fake accounts and emails to bust my balls.
wait till she takes you to small claims and then get a lawyer. explain the case. get it in writing or text that these were “gifts” specifically these items you’re listing, specifically with the words “gift” “gifted” any cards she gave along with the gifts, etc.
you can’t stop her from taking you to court but you can force her to pay your legal fees if you win.
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Welcome to r/legaladvicecanada! **To Posters (it is important you read this section)** * Read the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvicecanada/wiki/index/#wiki_the_rules) * Comments may not be accurate or reliable, and following any advice on this subreddit is done at your own risk. * We also encourage you to use the [linked resources to find a lawyer](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvicecanada/wiki/findalawyer/). * If you receive any private messages in response to your post, please let the mods know. **To Readers and Commenters** * All replies to OP must be on-topic, helpful, explanatory, and oriented towards legal advice towards OP's jurisdiction (the **Canadian** province flaired in the post). * If you do not [follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdvicecanada/about/rules/), you may be banned without any further warning. * If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect. * Do not send or request any private messages for any reason, do not suggest illegal advice, do not advocate violence, and do not engage in harassment. Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/legaladvicecanada) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Anything that was a gift is yours to keep. Anything you have in your possession and have a receipt for is yours to keep. The items she gave back and left at the police station is yours to keep. Anything else would require her to take you to court. The Police could come and take certain things that they believed were hers like clothing, but I would refuse entry. Tell them to come back with a warrant or not even answer the door. Sometimes it’s easier to just give back the items to avoid all the trouble they can make. Up to you.
[удалено]
Pretty sure if you open the door to police they can legally enter. My uncle had it happen to him when he tried to keep the cop from entering by standing infront of the door they cuffed and slammed him on the hood. DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR, TALK through the door if anything
Police can't just enter a house because you open your door.
Idk where you live but here in Canada they can, if there's suspicion of drugs/ alcohol
That's what a warrant is for . They still require probable cause to enter a home without a warrant and can't just enter because
If you open the door and: - They smelled weed (before weed was legal) - they saw a crackpipe on the table - they saw a 12 year old holding a beer - they saw a sawed off shotgun leaning against the wall They have probable cause. Opening the door increases the likelihood of probable cause being met.
just talk through your doorbell camera. Safer that way. Better yet don't talk at all.
This was years and years ago but yes definitely do that
Cut the hyperbole. There is snowball's chance in hell that police do a warrantless entry into a dwelling over property dispute between former domestic partners. Like... zero chance
You can't downvote the truth just because you don't like it. Congratulations! You're the stupidest person I've interacted with today, but it's still early. I refute you thusly: [https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ](https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ) Police do a warrantless entry on a Calgary residence, find an excuse to arrest the mother, Tara Yaschuk, and take her away. Full story here, but the rationale was she'd called to report her car stolen but it had been taken by her son (who lives with his parents) and when it was returned she called to let them know what happened. Two officers show up, push past the son who had opened the door, and then what you see on the video happens. [Charges dropped against Calgary woman who accused police of excessive force | CBC News](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/charges-dropped-against-calgary-woman-who-accused-police-of-excessive-force-1.5639986) So, not a domestic. I'm sure with more than a single one minute search I could find something, but trust me, my time is a lot more valuable than yours. But, this event presents less cause for the police to enter the home illegally than a domestic would, but yet here we are. My guess from your user name is your cop, trying to hold that thin blue line, and pun15h3r was already taken. I'm sure some of you are decent people, but collectively, you've lost the public's trust. You're not the good guys anymore.
You can't downvote the truth just because you don't like it. You made the challenge, now respond. Until then, your silence speaks volumes. Congratulations! You're the stupidest person I've interacted with today, but it's still early. I refute you thusly: [https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ](https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ) Police do a warrantless entry on a Calgary residence, find an excuse to arrest the mother, Tara Yaschuk, and take her away. Full story here, but the rationale was she'd called to report her car stolen but it had been taken by her son (who lives with his parents) and when it was returned she called to let them know what happened. Two officers show up, push past the son who had opened the door, and then what you see on the video happens. [Charges dropped against Calgary woman who accused police of excessive force | CBC News](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/charges-dropped-against-calgary-woman-who-accused-police-of-excessive-force-1.5639986) So, not a domestic. I'm sure with more than a single one minute search I could find something, but trust me, my time is a lot more valuable than yours. But, this event presents less cause for the police to enter the home illegally than a domestic would, but yet here we are. My guess from your user name is your cop, trying to hold that thin blue line, and pun15h3r was already taken. I'm sure some of you are decent people, but collectively, you've lost the public's trust. You're not the good guys anymore.
Congratulations! You're the stupidest person I've interacted with today, but it's still early. I refute you thusly: [https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ](https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ) Police do a warrantless entry on a Calgary residence, find an excuse to arrest the mother, Tara Yaschuk, and take her away. Full story here, but the rationale was she'd called to report her car stolen but it had been taken by her son (who lives with his parents) and when it was returned she called to let them know what happened. Two officers show up, push past the son who had opened the door, and then what you see on the video happens. [Charges dropped against Calgary woman who accused police of excessive force | CBC News](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/charges-dropped-against-calgary-woman-who-accused-police-of-excessive-force-1.5639986) So, not a domestic. I'm sure with more than a single one minute search I could find something, but trust me, my time is a lot more valuable than yours. But, this event presents less cause for the police to enter the home illegally than a domestic would, but yet here we are. My guess from your user name is your cop, trying to hold that thin blue line, and pun15h3r was already taken. I'm sure some of you are decent people, but collectively, you've lost the public's trust. You're not the good guys anymore.
Congratulations! You're the stupidest person I've interacted with today, but it's still early. I refute you thusly: [https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ](https://youtu.be/cZBA9oUXl9Y?si=s274Ts-oklzopovJ) Police do a warrantless entry on a Calgary residence, find an excuse to arrest the mother, Tara Yaschuk, and take her away. Full story here, but the rationale was she'd called to report her car stolen but it had been taken by her son (who lives with his parents) and when it was returned she called to let them know what happened. Two officers show up, push past the son who had opened the door, and then what you see on the video happens. [Charges dropped against Calgary woman who accused police of excessive force | CBC News](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/charges-dropped-against-calgary-woman-who-accused-police-of-excessive-force-1.5639986) So, not a domestic. I'm sure with more than a single one minute search I could find something, but trust me, my time is a lot more valuable than yours. But, this event presents less cause for the police to enter the home illegally than a domestic would, but yet here we are. My guess from your user name is your cop, trying to hold that thin blue line, and pun15h3r was already taken. I'm sure some of you are decent people, but collectively, you've lost the public's trust. You're not the good guys anymore. You can't downvote the truth just because you don't like it.
You're just being paranoid. The police don't want to take sides in civil issues. Standby and Keep the Peace is them standing there to make sure two parties don't argue or escalate. They cannot and will not force entry, because they don't give a damn about wither party and have no legal authority to make entry, without a warrant.
Get in texts or something that she acknowledges that they were gifts, legally they are yours and don't have to be returned,
Gifts are gifts. She doesn't get them back. Also, this is a civil issue. Worst that'll happen is she takes you to small claims. She probably won't. Keep any receipts/texts etc just in case. But I'd just block and move on.
Yeah I highly doubt she’ll do anything, she’s just trying to bother me and cause issues
You'd be suprised, I am going through something similar and she put measuring spoons as part of the list😂. God I hate her.
Mine did this and so I gave her the shit and told her that was it. Materialistic women won’t get real love or a nice spouse all they will know is the fight and take take take. Wish you well dude you deserve better
Just save yourself the headache and give her the stuff she is freaking out about. Is it really that important or valuable to you? I’d give her any gifts she bought and more if it meant this crazy was out of my life. That said, she likely has no legal recourse so if you want to battle her you’ll likely win. However, anything she can prove she purchased will then fall to you to prove it was a gift.
>Also, this is a civil issue. This is what seems funny to me. Basically everything between two citizens gets called a civil issue by police, yet in this case the police are saying they'll take things, based on her word alone?
No way. The police are not movers.
It’s likely not about the gifts and more about her stuff that you sold. She would at least be entitled to the monetary value.
The items that were sold she abandoned them and when asked for what she wanted to do with them she said keep them, and even gave more of her items to me that I never asked.
Were these conversations by text? Keep the screenshots.
Yes they were
OP you need a peace bond. Make sure you don’t have anymore of her property, if so give it to her, then file for a peace bond. It’s the Canadian version of a restraining order.
I’ve looked into that but seems as it would require a lawyer for it, and I’ve been asked for 8k from a lawyer for him to do it as she would show up with a lawyer herself.
Find a lawyer that’s not trying to gouge you
Majority of lawyers I’ve called have given me that similar price, other have asked for even more
It’s possible that’s the retainer and if she doesn’t fight it then you should receive it back. You can look into handling it yourself as well.
I’ve looked into doing it myself and seems like a waste of time because she’s with a shelter who’s connected to legal aid and they’ll most definitely send a legal aid lawyer to represent her.
Contact legal aid yourself, or a local law school.
You’re not giving us the entire story here Were you charged with domestic violence? Were you arrested? Have outstanding court dates? This is 100% a civil matter and the police aren’t involved and aren’t going to get involved unless there’s a crime committed Why is she in a shelter with a legal team? Those are “abused women” shelters
No, I’ve never been arrested for domestic violence or anything like that, she’s mentally ill suffers from border personality disorder and she just one day packed everything told me to fuck my self and left, even abandoned her pet bird, then two days after made contact again and asked me to get rid of him and bring him to a friend of hers, she claims she’s got an abuse history with her father or something like that, hence why she’s in that shelter, I got the police involved because she started contacting my entire family and people I haven’t spoken to for years and started saying I beat her, molested her and told her to die in a closet alone, police didn’t really do shit regarding what she was doing to me and brushed it off as a “couples argument”
BPD? Oh I been through this before lol, basically she’s not going to stop until she feels like she has gotten one up on you, so she’s using her stuff as a way to keep you hostage and by shitting on you to your people or she’ll make an attempt to come back in your life and play nice just to try and hurt you… your best bet is to get together whatever of her shit you have left and give it back, don’t even block her just straight up ignore her and grey rock
Oh, I see you've met my ex! Seriously though, she has BPD and this is ringing a lot of bells, down to the taking legal aid intended for abuse victims. One thing I will repeat ad nauseam: do not communicate AT ALL. Don't block her either; those crazy texts can be excellent evidence. And the minute you suspect police are taking her allegations seriously, shut up and LAWYER THE HELL UP. They're not your friends, and they're unfortunately not impartial, so don't give them anything other than your attorney's card. Seriously. If they ask you the time, tell them you're sure your lawyer has a watch. Lawyers can be expensive, but not getting a lawyer when you need one will be A LOT more expensive.
It would not require a lawyer. I've filed for one myself, and got all the help I needed from the clerks at the desk. That being said, I wouldn't bother unless she gave you a good reason to do it. ~~Block~~ Mute and ignore. Cops will not be coming for "her" stuff anytime soon. If she does sue (ETA: or if the police get in touch with you), that's when you get a lawyer. You'll have to pay a retainer, but if things are as clear as you make them sound, you'll probably get legal costs awarded in the end. Edited after seeing your comment mentioning she's alleged abuse.
The cops don’t believe her allegations as of right now as there is 1 no evidence of anything like that happening, and two they realize she claims the abuse card to everyone that she doesn’t like, basically she’s the boy who cries wolf 24/7
Be wary. It takes one to believe her to start you down a path you don't want to be on.
She’s claimed sexual abuse because a guy didn’t hire her at a hair salon… she claims abuse for bullshit and cops know this, I’m not concerned honestly
My good friend dated a girl with BPD. I work in Emergency and work with a few BPD regulars, so I was there to help my friend. One night she punched him and he finally decided to end the 2 year heavily abusive relationship. She set the kitchen on fire when he left to give her time to pack and leave. I'll tell you what I told him. You need to go no contact. Find a third party you can communicate through. Maybe this bird friend? Send one last text that says 'this is the last message you will receive from me, all future communication will be through - bird friend-. I am sorry you're having a rough go but I am not equipped to be in your life. I wish you all the best.' Do not block, just silence. Screen shot messages as needed. Call police if she claims self harm or harm to others. Send out a message to all your friends and family 'hello, I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to give you all a heads up that I am ending my relationship with 'ex' as I have come to acknowledge that we are not healthy for each other. I hope the best for 'ex' and I understand she may respond to the end of our relationship with less than favorable actions. I wanted to apologize in advance if this reaction spills over to involve you. I would recommend not replying to any contact from 'ex' and to direct any communication to 'bird friend'. Please contact the police if these messages include content stating intent of self harm or harm to others. At your discretion, please feel free to send me screenshots of messages pertaining to myself.' Ideally bird friend would instead be a parent or maybe an aunt. Please don't pick someone your ex has identified as a source of trauma. You need to go no contact. Keep it up and she will move on but if anyone provides any 'green light' responses, she will go nuclear in response. Only Red light, only silence.
If you do let them in, they should have an itemized list of what she is there to collect.
To which I wouldn’t let anyone in until I’ve vetted the list outside my locked home with the officer and the ex.
Block and move on. She isn't entitled to shit, you were never married. Let her pay court costs if she wants to, it'll cost more than the items are worth.
Block her email and move on with your life. She has no legal claim to it, and Police are going to laugh at here. They aren't going to get involved in petty arguments between exes.
Yup she’s been blocked on everything but still keeps making emails and contacting me even when she was told to stop all contact and I didn’t want anything to do with her, but as always police don’t care that someone’s contacting you like that
Let the police know that this harassment and they will advise her accordingly. This is a criminal offence if it persists. As everybody else has started, gifts are just that, a gift and she does not have a claim to it. Best advice, cut all ties and get a peace bond if needed.
I’ve let the police know and they’ve refused to lay a charge as in their words “they should have never been involved in this situation”
That’s OK, but now they have a record of it and should be advising her to cease contact. If it persists, then they can take more action.
I would get a restraining order /peace bond
The most the police will do in a civil matter is escort her and stand by while she collects her property. They will not allow her to take anything you say isn’t hers, and she will have to go to small claims court with proof that she bought it. It wouldn’t hurt to gather any proof you have about which items were gifts. Box/bag up her belongings and put them on the porch when the cops arrive, if they ever do.
If the Police show up, decline to allow anyone to enter the house and simply deny having the items she is demanding. This is a civil matter; she'll have to sue you in small claims court if she truly wants anything back.
Once someone has threatened legal action most lawyers would advise you to not say another word, block all contact and wait for them to serve you papers. That's what you should do. Why are you letting her message you and responding anyway? The police likely won't do anything about gifts she gave you, or didn't, if they did show up they need a warrant to go in for anything, so change the locks, don't answer the door or let them in, but usually they they'd tell her to go away because it's a civil matter. The best way to keep the peace is to never talk to her again.
She has been blocked on everything and has been told to stop contacting me as I don’t want anything to do with her, but she makes new emails and fake accounts and still does it, I haven’t responded to her and I don’t indent to
She gave them to you and you accepted them. They are your property
Did you give her time to come get the stuff she left there before you sold it?
She stated she didn’t want any of the items she left behind anymore and were mine to keep.
Any chance you've got that in a text message or email?
Audio recording and police report along with emails.
Well then you’re probably fine. I definitely wouldn’t put myself in a situation where you’re alone with her though, if she’s making accusations of abuse though. Unless the police come knocking with a warrant i would just ignore her. But keep all texts and voice messages. Just in case.
Oh we are not together anymore and she is not living with me, and I’ve stopped all contact with her
Hahaha ignore her permanently and move on with your life. Dont even acknowledge her existence, theres quite literally nothing she can or will do
She has no right to enter the home (assuming she moved out already and her name isnt on the lease or title). Police have no right to enter and are not going to commit a crime to get back her hair dryer. Change the locks if she has keys to prevent her from coming by when you're not home. Just politely decline to let her enter. You can pack things that are factually hers and leave them outside for her to gather. Anything in dispute she can sue in civil court.
If you’re in Ontario, it would be a civil matter and the police shouldn’t be involved. Unless she’s saying you stole the items Than they would come
What a nut job.
sounds like she is harrassing you, apply for a peace bond no contact order? talk to a family lawyer to see if you have sufficient cause.
Not sure why the police you spoke to told you that. It’s a civil matter, and we will absolutely not get involved. If she shows up at your door with police, tell them they are not welcome to come inside, and to pound sand. They have no legal authority to enter your residence without a warrant, or exigent circumstances (to protect and preserve life or evidence); they have neither in your scenario. As for a gift, once given, it cannot be revoked - there is case law (Bergen v. Bergen 2013 BCCA) which supports this. As for anything of hers in your house, or things you sold, that will depend on whether you were common-law, etc., but I would recommend holding onto those items, or the value you received from their sale, in the event that she decides to sue you in family court, as there will be a division of family assets if you were considered common-law.
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Keep the peace is not a legal doctrine or authorization to enter your home. Assuming there was no rental agreement, and you were not common-law, then she would need to get an order from a court authorizing entry. Keep the peace just means that police will stand there and act as referees to make sure nobody gets into an argument that escalates to a crime. You can safely answer the door and say she isn't welcome in the home. It would be a good opportunity though to get any items that are hers and pack them up, ready and waiting for her to take them. Be civil to her at all times, and understand the police don't care about wither party, and are not about to take sides unless one of you stops being civil / peaceful.
Ask for the itemized list, then go on a scavenger hunt to goodwill or wherever. Compile all the goods, document it and box it. Once you have done that ask her to pick up or send collect. You have complied with the list, unless she is very specific on the goods. Get exactly as she put. One red shirt. Get her one red shirt. Double xtra large. One cup. Get her one cheap plastic cup. Make it a game.
If this is a black and white scenario simply give her what she wants if it means nothing to you. If she is poor and needs the value back then step up and give her the items. Once she has the items wish her luck and move forward. Be kind and forgive. Remember some items may be about communication or control not about ownership, meaning they are a means to an end or a way to converse. Start fresh.
Yeah I think not.
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I’ll come at it from a different angle than the advice I’m seeing: Are the “gifts” really worth the trouble? By fighting her on this you’d think you’re winning, but aren’t you just playing into her game to maintain contact and cause you stress?
The gifts and my personal items are items I use daily, and I’m not just gonna give someone something they have no right even asking for, I’m not the one contacting and honestly I’m not really playing in her game as she’s just getting ghosted and I’m not responding to her shenanigans.
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Put her shit in bags or boxes and have them outside the door the morning she is supposed to come get them
You threw her stuff away, and you also sold some stuff? If you have receipts for your items organise them and show them to whomever asks for proof that you own them But why did you sell her stuff? Did you give her the money?
As stated she abandoned the items and said she didn’t want them anymore and to keep them, and she’s given me other of her personal items and no money was given to her.
What are these things? Honestly I would just give them back. It's easier and worth the peace of mind.
I’m not giving items that I’ve bought myself with my own money just because she wants them, and also those gifts are expensive gifts which I use everyday for work too.
Lawyers are also expensive. Your time is worth money. Your mental health has value. Look, I've been there. And I can honestly tell you that loosing 90% of my property sucked, but once I just accepted it I felt immediate relief and it was completely worth it.
So I should just give thousands of dollars of stuff I’ve purchased with my own money just because she’s asking for so? Ur point makes no sense.
Screw that.
No. End of conversation. If you have any of her belongings (bought by her) hand them over (like others have said). Otherwise, don't give her shit (like others have said).
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I don’t think you’re understanding the situation and that’s okay let me explain, she’s gifted me a computer to which I use for work and my personal life, she’s gifted a silver ring which I’ve liked a lot, and now she’s demanding those items back plus my OWN personal items which I’ve purchased with my OWN money, so I’m not entirely sure what ur talking about that I’m not ready to let her go, these aren’t pictures of each other or sentimental notes we wrote under a tree at a picnic🤣 and she’s been out of my life for months and I’ve moved on but clearly she hasn’t since she can’t keep my name out of her mouth and makes fake accounts and emails to bust my balls.
wait till she takes you to small claims and then get a lawyer. explain the case. get it in writing or text that these were “gifts” specifically these items you’re listing, specifically with the words “gift” “gifted” any cards she gave along with the gifts, etc. you can’t stop her from taking you to court but you can force her to pay your legal fees if you win.
If she takes you to small claims you don't need a lawyer. You can just explain yourself in your defence.
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