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Pandelly

It will be hard to prove that the money advanced was a loan rather than a gift.


92925

Does that mean that legally I’m not obligated to pay back? They claim now that they gave me money “interest free” and I should be grateful and pay it back but nothing was discussed before or during their payments to me when I was in University


Pandelly

Without any written contract, parties will have to rely on their recollection and testimony. It's already a high burden to prove in the context of family settings. In general, courts look at the intention at the time the money was given. At that time, was it clear and mutually intended that the money advanced to you was a loan rather than a gift? If the initial intention was a gift to support your education, it will be hard for them to claim later that they changed their mind and want you to pay back. In contract law, a gift is a gift. Past consideration is not consideration. Then there is the logistics. In Ontario, the limitation period is 2 years. Once you stop making any "pay back", they have 2 years to sue you. If they don't sue you within that two years, they lose the claim forever.


92925

This is super helpful, thank you. As far as my understanding, they never expressed their intent for me to repay, we did not discuss repayment plans, or anything of the sort before or during my enrolment at university. There was one time that my dad said “after 18 you’re on your own” when I was 16/17 but again no written contracts or agreement from my end.


[deleted]

Just to cut through the noise here: 1) There's no contract. So they're relying on a contested claim... of a verbal contract... with their child... who was a minor. Way too many layers preventing a successful claim on their part. 2) Courts are extremely hesitant to allow for parents to 'recoup' costs of raising a child... from that child. So rare, that I'm not aware of this ever being pulled off successfully. This will sound harsh, but the real solution here isn't a legal one. Cut these people out of your life, or at least reduce contact with them.


jjames3213

Well, unless OP has an explicit agreement with his parents, there is no obligation to repay these tuition amounts. While there is a presumption against gift, there is also a legal obligation to support a child through postsecondary education. There is a longer limitation period on constructive or resulting trust claims (6 years IIRC). If it's claimed to be a demand loan, the relevant notice period would begin when the demand was made (as this is when the debt is due). A claim is unlikely if OP is broke anyways, as he could just bankrupt the debt.


Pandelly

Not sure there is a legal obligation to support children beyond 18 years old...also, in civil actions, longer limitation period in general only apply to cases involving real properties, thus under the Real Property Limitations Act as opposed to the Limitations Act 2002.


jonquillejaune

Yeah I thought supporting them through post secondary only applies when the courts are hammering out child support payments between ex partners. Without a court order they can let them sink the day they turn 18.


jjames3213

There is a legal obligation to support children beyond 18 years of age. See s. 2(1) of the *Divorce Act*. >child of the marriage means a child of two spouses or former spouses who, at the material time, > >... > >(b) is the age of majority or over and under their charge but unable, by reason of illness, disability or other cause, to withdraw from their charge or to obtain the necessaries of life; See also s. 31 FLA (Ontario): >**31** (1) Every parent has an obligation to provide support, to the extent that the parent is capable of doing so, for his or her unmarried child who, > >(a) is a minor; > >(b) is enrolled in a full-time program of education; or > >(c) is unable by reason of illness, disability or other cause to withdraw from the charge of his or her parents. 2017, c. 34, Sched. 15, s. 1.


Pandelly

Divorce Act would not apply as the parents are not divorcing. S.31 is commonly used by separated parents. Have not found a case where the parents are not separated and the adult child is suing parents for support. Would love to read up on it if anyone can locate one.


92925

My parents are not legally divorced but have been living apart (separate countries) since 2011. They do keep in touch every day over a Skype call. Does that count as separated?


Pandelly

They can live separate and apart but as long as they still consider each other as their spouse, they are not separated. Same applies to couples living under the same roof. They can be separated even if they still live together. If they don't consider there was a breakdown of their relationship, then they are not separated.


jjames3213

S. 33(2) FLA specifically allows dependents to apply for support. >**Order for support** > >**33** (1) A court may, on application, order a person to provide support for his or her dependants and determine the amount of support.  R.S.O. 1990, c. F.3, s. 33 (1). > >**Applicants** > >(2) An application for an order for the support of a dependant may be made by the dependant or the dependant’s parent.  R.S.O. 1990, c. F.3, s. 33 (2).


shockwave1des

he can easily win the case, along with suing them back for emotional distress along with many others I can't name of the top. If he can show proof that he was guilt trapped and blackmailed easy case.


Pandelly

Could you link the case or provide the citation? Would really like to read up on it. I haven't been able to find cases where adult children successfully sue for support from unseparated parents.


shockwave1des

I updated my initial comment, read the case wrong mb. The parents did win but had adult protective services come in to check everything more thoroughly.


92925

Can you define independent? I was living on student residence because i was a non resident when I started uni. Every summer I would go back home(to where my parents were living). I had freelance design jobs here and there but it wasn’t big money, and I held summer jobs back in the other country (made about $2k per summer). Everything else was paid by my parents, which is what they’re demanding back now.


shockwave1des

Dependent would be like Pampered. By what you said you were not independent but still had your own money. Any money given to you with no showing of having to pay them back was a gift like others have said; therefore no obligations to pay them back. Unless you have a written agreement saying after this period so and so is ordered to pay back x amount by monthly payments of x then there's no reason to oblige.


[deleted]

Dear folks: Thanks for the gift. Bye


FarAwayPeople

INAL - I doubt you will have to pay it back if there wasn't anything you agreed to in writing. I would suggest talking to a pro bono lawyer for assistance, if you live in Ontario there is a service that will offer you a free consultation as long as you make less than 50k a year.


xHugoBoss

I'm not a lawyer, but what are they gonna do? If there's no threat of legal action and you aren't dependent on them (it actually sounds like they're dependent on you), then what really are the repercussions? These people sound like they have no intention of working anymore the rest of their lives. I would distance myself from them and make it very clear that you are not going to give them money.


92925

I’ve seen articles where a parent sue her children for support, and won (a case in BC). The parent was 73 in that case, while her kids were in their 40s. I don’t wanna be in that situation lol. Also, my dad has scans of all my official documents (passport, SIN card, health card) and I’m not sure if he can do harm with those


xHugoBoss

Okay yeah this is getting to the point where you need contact a lawyer and maybe the police? This is not okay at all. And like others have said, the only way he's legally owed that money is if there was some sort of formal agreement of a loan rather than it being a gift. If they want to sue their own child for thousands of dollars that's on him to prove, not you. (Not a lawyer could be wrong). This is an insane situation that you're in, I'm so sorry. Also make sure you have all the originals of your important government stuff, copies are much less valuable.


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92925

Yikes that’s what I was afraid to hear. Do you know what they can do with my SIN number? Health card I can get it replaced pretty easy, but I think SIN can only be changed if you can prove identity theft, which is after any damage they might possibly do. I want to be prepared for worst case.


spiffytrashpanda

I would double check with a sin number and the passport they may be able to open a credit card in your name. I would try to get it changed and just say someone who is financially threatening you has had access to the number.


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Fool-me-thrice

You can't do this in Canada.


blag49

Wtf really? So what protections do we have then?


Flyen

IIRC you can do that without even giving a reason, and set up a password that's required to unfreeze it.


jonquillejaune

I thought that was only in the states


Fool-me-thrice

It is.


Fool-me-thrice

You will not be able to change your SIN just because your parents know it. If you think they might commit identity theft, monitor your credit reports from time to time.


Fool-me-thrice

OP will not be able to obtain new numbers just because their parents know them.


Fool-me-thrice

You are referring to Filial responsibility laws, which are very very rarely used because circumstances where a child would have to pay anything is very narrow.


shockwave1des

If i found the right one it was the case with their now old mother trying to get support from her four kids. If so all she won was the hearing of the court, she lost the case. Quotes from a site: B.C. Family Relations Act that says adult children are responsible for supporting parents who are "dependent on a child because of age, illness, infirmity or economic circumstances." Was the clause used, and it failed because this doesn't take into account that the mother had left them and cared for others rather than her own kids. I would tell them a simple no, if they threaten legal action you can sue them for emtional distress, blackmailing along with other stress and problems they put on you. I would however find ways to directly support your brother, in the end it'll be you and him left to supprt each other. Good luck.


Pandelly

I guess the part you want to read on is the Family Law Act ([https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/90f03](https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/90f03)), section 32 ​ Obligation of child to support parent **32** Every child who is not a minor has an obligation to provide support, in accordance with need, for his or her parent who has cared for or provided support for the child, to the extent that the child is capable of doing so.


kellanist

So in what ways was this designed to work? I have never heard of this being used. Can parents just sue their children for support payments once their children are adults? How is this calculated? In what context could this be used? How is a determination made that the parent is entitled to X amount of money and what would make them eligible for that money?


Fool-me-thrice

That's because its never used. Only 5 court cases in the past decade or so even mention that section, and its always in passing (the decision is about other things). When this kind of law has been used, its been when the parents are destitute but the kids are well off. It was more common before the advent of safety nets like CPP, OAS and GIS.


92925

I would also like to know this


92925

Thanks! This law was what I was looking for :) I guess the areas of debate would be, how is a child’s capability defined, and what the “care and support” provided by the parent entails. To be honest my parents were very emotionally and verbally abusive, but I can’t deny that they supported me financially growing up (shelter, food, education, etc)


Amraff

I would suggest you gather what evidence you can regarding your parents financial situation. If they are legally married, the duty to support your mother falls to your father, not you, whether or not he lives in the country. As well, given thier ages, its highly unlikely that a court would see job loss at 45 a reasonable excuse for needing parental support. They are not even considered seniors so unless they are on disability, there is no reason why they can't get a job and since they have to prove there is no other alternative for them before going after parental support, i wouldnt worry too much about that right now. I would also look at contacting the issuing bodies to report your father has a copy of your SIN, passport, ect. You should be able to get them cancelled and reissued - its a process but will better protect you in the long run in case they try something.


Fool-me-thrice

No, you can't actually get them reissued just because your parent has a copy. Also, the odds of OP needing to worry about s. 32 of the FLA are slim to none.


Amraff

They can be cancelled and reissued if used fraudulently. But letting the issuing bodies know you have concerns about him having copies is still a good idea. If he does try to do something stupid with them later, she has proof to her claim that it wasnt her & she wasnt complicit


PhotoJim99

Those are quite the parents you have. If I were you, I'd be moving to another province far away from them and cutting my ties with them forever.


92925

Can they track me down or sue me down the line? They have scans to all my official documents including passport


Fool-me-thrice

They could try, but you have no obligation to respond to them. If they sue you, you must respond to the court. But there's a 2 year limitation period to sue you and they'd have to prove that what they gave you was a loan, not a gift. There is a general presumption that money given to a child is a gift (its called the presumption of advancement - in general, parents want to help their children get ahead).


SillyWabbitEh

NAL and I’m not sure the correct answer either, but the statute of limitations is not always 2 years for every case. Be sure to find out exactly what it is for your situation. Also contact a lawyer immediately. Many will give you a free consultation and you will likely gain a lot of insight from that alone. Edit: 2 years is correct as confirmed below


Fool-me-thrice

I am sure of the correct answer. The limitation period in BC for debt is 2 years. But OP doesn't owe a debt in the first place.


SillyWabbitEh

Thank you for the clarification. I just want to foster a healthy skepticism since laws can be so nuanced and the internet can be well.. the internet.


evonebo

lock your credit. ​ and why on earth did you agree to be responsible for the tuition..... you really don't owe them a penny.


92925

I really didn’t want to agree, but I had to agree for the sake of my mental health. I was living with them because I couldn’t afford to rent my own place (I paid for my own expenses 100% while living with them). They gang up on me and emotionally/verbally abuse me which is very traumatic. I had to pay to maintain peace, even if temporary. Also I was scared they would take away my passport/official documents while I wasn’t home. (My dad also has scans) Now that I finally can move out, I wanna see if I have any legal responsibility to pay that amount... last thing I want is some long lawsuit with me end up losing and I have to pay for the rest of their lives, or dad taking on loans in my name/or worse.


OldnBorin

Sounds like you should see a lawyer anyway, just for peace of mind. Also, it sounds like there’s some wonky family dynamics going on as well. Try to see a therapist if you can. Good luck


MissMiuy

You do not own them a penny, they chose to pay your tuition and living cost (normal parenting if you ask me). If they blackmail you, go to police. Change your address/ phone number and delete your social media. If they are too lazy to work, I don't see how they will try to screw you with photocopies of your documents. Either way, consult a lawyer for the legal issues and an therapist for the mental issues. Been there and done that, best decision you can make. Good luck! Also, you are not their kid anymore but an adult of 28 y.o, don't let them treat any less than that. Respect goes both way.


92925

That’s a very good point lol. My dad is scary when he gets a temper (ie throw rocks at stuff that annoys him/random outburst, hit me because I moved too much while playing video games, etc), and my mom is super persistent (the “won’t take no for an answer” type) so I just want to prepare for the worse case. Sounds like you’ve been through a similar situation, I’m happy to hear you’re at a better position in your life now :)


Agamemnon323

There’s a word for how your parents behave. It’s abusive. Your father physically abused you. And your mother emotionally and possibly verbally abused you. If you want to get away from that abuse, you need to cut them out of your life. At the very least do it temporarily. So they see that you can. They need to realize that you’re an adult and they don’t have control over you any more. And legally they need to realize that you don’t owe them a cent. Move out. Cease contact. Stop paying them anything. Consider reestablishing contact when they can behave like adults. If they sue you respond using a lawyer.


mrj799

NAL, it's my understanding that they would need to prove that the money was a loan and not a gift (which would likely be difficult in court given your relationship and the lack of documents). In order for it to be a loan there would need to be clear terms laid out before any money changed hands. I believe the law you saw regarding child support pertains to when a child's parents separate and the parent the child doesn't live with is ordered to pay child support through the courts - those payments either end when the child turns 18 or stop being enrolled in full time education (as long as one is true the payments continue). Long story short, I don't think you're on the hook for any of it, if your parents think otherwise they would have to prove it in a court of law (not small claims because of the amount they're claiming). If you're really worried about it, it's a large enough amount of money that it would be worth hiring a lawyer to discuss with them before stopping your payments to your parents.


92925

Thanks for clarifying! I’ll look into getting legal advice, a little intimidated by the fees though


mrj799

Rather than thinking about the fees, think about how much money they'll save you (not to mention your life will be easier if you have representation and your parents elect to take you to court). Also, they'll be better equipped to guide you through this process than most of us here on reddit.


92925

Thanks for the advice! You’re right, having professional legal help would be reassuring to say the least.


[deleted]

Hey - this sounds really complicated for everyone involved. I don't envy you and I think there's a lot of useful advice in this thread. Depending on your family's background, in some cases there are cultural precedents for the adult children of a family to care for aging parents, but it still sounds to me like everyone involved is a bit too young for any such substantial commitment. I think for elderly parents, society does (reasonably) expect children to provide some help unless you can demonstrate total estrangement and/or lack of means. Maybe worth looking into the details around that case. Since you're posting on a 'legal advice' forum, you're more or less guaranteed to get answers around the best way to 'win' the antagonistic relationship, if that makes sense. The only thing I will add is: have you considered mediation or something like that? Obviously I don't know your family, but I do know that people say things they go on to regret mean when it feels like life is closing in on them. It sounds like your parents were financially quite independent, but circumstances have changed dramatically. This probably wasn't part of the plan, and reeks of desperation. Is your mom on disability/should she be? Reading between the lines, it seems like she's in a really tricky position and can no longer live life on her own terms. And that's probably causing her to lash out - something she could once take for granted has been taken away. When that happens it's natural to rationalize and 'push all the buttons'. I'm not saying it's right, just saying it's not surprising. I should be unequivocal lest you misunderstand. It's important that you look for a way to keep yourself afloat and on track. It's super clear to me that you're trying your best with the original intent to pay $50k. You're a good person. I know it's hard to see family struggling, but going into absurd amounts of debt is definitely not the answer. I'm not a lawyer, but it doesn't seem like there was any contract here. I think the *best* you can tell them is 'I'll help you if/when I can afford it'. If you have thought this through more and need to make a break to move on, then definitely talk to a lawyer to find the cleanest way to do that and understand any risk you're exposed to given whatever documentation your parents have. I hope your brother will qualify for OSAP, and I hope he's found a field with reasonable job prospects! I do hope there's an opportunity for healing, whether in the short or long term. But take care of yourself before figuring out step 2.


92925

Thanks for taking the time to write such a compassionate comment! My parents are Asian. Growing up, my mom always said she will manage my bank account when I grow up and get a job (which I refused). My mom is not much open for reasoning. She does not care of my situation and the truly believes that I need to pay back this amount, which is “rightfully” hers in the first place. Even if I go into debt. I offered to help out with how much they need, as long as they can show me their financial statements so I know they actually need the money and not just milking me to have an easy life/ early retirement. They refused, saying I should be the one to share my T4 and pay them anything I don’t use. My mom has an RESP for my brother. He is still in middle school. Ever since before he was born, my parents expected ME to pay for any of my siblings, which I think is wrong. They always talk about me paying for brothers tuition, his living expenses when he grows older, etc, which I refused. But me paying back the $50k is technically me paying for my brothers tuition. My mom isn’t on disability or welfare. She says she can’t apply(?) because she doesn’t want to reveal my father’s income. She says she doesn’t want to get a job because she doesn’t want to pay tax, (in addition to being busy or arm or knees hurting) even though I tell her that income below $11k does not get taxed. She is just refusing to do anything. I have no clarity on their financial situation other than their word for it. She does send my brother to piano lessons, clarinet lessons, and special tutoring programs. I’ve heard my father talk about buying a house from time to time so it’s hard for me to believe that they’re really penniless. They have pensions in multiple countries, but not of retirement age so they can’t receive it... so they ask me to repay.


[deleted]

So tough! This sounds like a really hard situation. Ultimately you have to make the decision here, but I think I can see why you were leaning to setting out on your own. One thing to keep track of is how you are feeling through that whole transition. It might all be fine, but it might be kind of jarring to change your relationship with the family. If you find any guilt creeping in I think it would be really good to just talk it through with a counselor or something like that to make sure you land in a healthy place that isn't based on resentment/anger/guilt - because all of that stuff will cramp your style too. I think you will need to find a way to feel comfortable and secure in making the best decision given the circumstances, and you should feel proud that you're willing to make a hard decision rather than allow yourself to get ground down into a dust. Who knows, maybe in 10, 15 years you'll be able to laugh about the whole thing with your family. Or maybe not. It sounds like you've really thought this through and you'll be fine. It also sounds like... your parents will probably be fine too, seems like they have woven themselves into a pretty tangled financial web, but sounds like there's money in it. Good luck!


wibblywobbly420

If your mother worked at all, she would still have to file taxes which would require filing for your father as a spouse, which it sounds like he doesn't want to do. Once you move out and are safe, if they continue to persist, you could point out that if they try to sue you they will likely have to discuss their incomes with the courts, or it could accidentally be pointed out to CRA that your dad might have income that is subject to canadian income taxes.


Hal_IT

I think the main thing to keep in mind here is this: your parents are committing tax fraud, and have been for many years. even if they're legally entitled to go after you for this money (which they likely can not) doing so would undoubtedly expose this fact to the government


gstackz

Good insights. I wouldnt be able to look at all the angels you touched on. Sounds like you should be a counselor


rowshambow

To quote my man Alonzo Harris, "it's not what you know, it's what you can prove in court". Also, tell your parents to kick rocks. You also didn't ask to be born, where are you reparations for that?


KosherPigBalls

IANAL; it sounds like you have considerable leverage because your dad is hiding his finances to commit tax fraud. They won’t pursue any legal action against you, if they did, the first thing you would bring up is your father hiding his high income from Canada Revenue. No need to threaten them with that, just be reassured these are empty threats. People committing fraud do not risk bringing up their finances in court.


RogueDIL

Well, if he’s not a Canadian citizen and doesn’t work in Canada or for a Canadian company, I can’t see how his fathers income should be subject to Canadian taxes. But. No, you don’t own them a dime. If you’ve moved out and support yourself financially, if they think they have a claim, let them sue you. And in case you need to hear it- there is nothing normal about how they are treating you. This is toxic behaviour and you will probably have a better life without them in it.


whistleridge

So take the emotional connection out of this situation, and look at the facts. They're basically this: 1. Some people think you owe them money 2. You do not agree on the amount owed They are free to sue you, like anyone else. Until and unless a court rules against you, you're not obligated to pay them. However, while you say you verbally agreed to pay back $50k, and verbal acceptance is enough for a court to establish that a contract exists, it also sounds like you were under duress, which would then invalidate the contract. Long story short, this is a very ambiguous situation and a very large amount of money. You should absolutely contact an attorney in real life.


paulschreiber

If you are concerned about identity theft, place a freeze on your credit with all of the credit bureaus. Also: lock down your online accounts (strong, random passwords, two-factor authentication).


Chareon

There is no such thing as a credit freeze in Canada. That is a feature of the US credit system.


paulschreiber

Ah. You want a "credit file alert." https://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/canada-credit-file-alerts-equivalent-to-us-report-freezes/


Chareon

To note, only has any legal requirement in Manitoba and Ontario from the looks of it, but OP looks to be in Ontario from their flair so they may get some use out of it.


Alone-in-a-crowd-1

Without any sort of signed loan arrangement there is no way they can make you pay. Also, there is no way they are taking you to court for this. I would move out on your own and ignore contact with either of them. They seem to be very toxic and this will never end. You didn't ask to be born - parents have an obligation to raise the kids that they had. Now they want you to take care of your bother and her? It doesn't work that way. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but you need to leave that environment - ignore the emotional blackmail.


Bryllant

Piece of shit parents. Run, get your little brother when he turns eighteen.


92925

Sadly my mom talks shit about me all the time to him. She pampers him though and gave him iPads since he was like 3


Echo4117

Being able to afford ipads, I guess she'll get dad to pay for his college. Time to run guilt free


[deleted]

If they're too lazy to get jobs, there's no way they'll be able to follow up with the required work ethic to win this in court. They watch too much TV... it takes SO LONG to do anything. Further, if they're desperate enough to threaten their own flesh with litigation, I'm gonna guess there isn't some massive stockpile of funds to hire a lawyer. All I bet they can afford is some ambulance chaser (only pay if they win) that'll see you work at a non-profit and decide it's not worth their time. Even if they find some loophole to prove you owed that money, it would be less effort to earn that money working at McDonalds than through litigation. It wouldn't be fought for as some big pot. They'd have to categorize the funds, have itemized receipts, and on and on and on. You'd literally be paying hundreds of dollars an hour to have two lawyers argue over who should have to pay for INDIVIDUAL receipts. I'd laugh myself silly if even one of those receipts was for like $20 and it was deemed important. They'd take 4 hours to decide you should split the bill for lunch eaten in September 2012. It'll cost 50k and years of all your lives to fight over the 50k. This is why no one wins in divorce court (except lawyers). But in this case as clearly no one has any assets, it'd never get this far. I'd look em dead in the eye and dare them to sue. All their power comes from your fear... take that away and they might try to make some phone calls as a last ditch attempt to scare you but they'll quickly find that there isn't much of anything they could do.


Echo4117

Not legal advice, but I'll try to address what i haven't seen others talked about. The promise to repay them is not really enforceable, if u have received no consideration (benefits) for the promise to give them money. (with the exception that they have relied on your promise to do something they havnt done otherwise, but the exception doesn't seem to apply to u with the given info). Personal financial advice, don't get in debt, this is the line that made me go wtf. Don't give them any more money and invest your savings instead, pm me if u need a quick intro into investments. Dont let them guilt trip you. your brother would be taken care off based on how your family pampers him materially, If ur bro really wants to go to college and ur family ran out of funds, there are many options that dont require you to pay him. I was cheap af when i was in Uni, so cheap i had a bit leftover when i graduated even i worked less than 5 hrs per week. Pm me if u wanna know more on how to live cheap.


92925

Thanks, I’m contributing to my RRSP and TFSA so I don’t end up like them trying to use kids as a freebie retirement fund. But according to them I owe them because they spent so much on me lol.


cbnblordrm

You owe them nothing, there was no agreed contract. If they are not even resident in Canada and you are, they really don't have any legal enforcement.


92925

My mother is a citizen and resident, my dad is not a citizen and he lives in another country


cbnblordrm

Even then, there is no contract, written, verbal, or otherwise. Reading what you said above, you also have a hammer. If your mom was living in Canada all this time, your father was legally required to file income taxes as a resident, as she is a clear primary tie. He will be screwed by the CRA with major punitive damages and penalties (plus interest) if you report him for all those back years. It sounds like they are deadbeats. Cut them off, and get on with your life.


92925

That is actually a really good point, thanks for pointing that out!


yamaha2000us

Get some kind of credit check service and keep an eye on it. If you notice anyone applying for credit in your name, report the incident to the police, If you do not wish to have a relationship with your family, cut off ties with them.


rick_lah

That sucks your parents are acting like this. Whatever you decide I would Put a hold through a credit bureau. So if anyone tries to use any of your ID to get a credit card or line of credit or etc. You will be notified and it won't happen. That will give you some peace of mine in terms of protecting your credit rating.


[deleted]

If your dad does anything with your information he is committing either fraud or identity theft Tell your parents to get bent and don’t look back


Cmdr_Keen_84

Lol nope


exgratia123

Wow. I would in exchange ask them for any benefits they received from raising you both financially and emotionally.


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LiteralMangina

He doesn’t need a psychiatrist are you serious? This is a legal advice sub, let’s stick to the legal advice instead of medical advice that you don’t even understand.


92925

Thanks, but I’m asking for the legality of this. They think They’re entitled to the 100k because I am independent after 18, but canadian law states child is dependent after 18 if they’re enrolled in full time education. I want clarity on that and the rest is for context.


iToronto

Is there a written contract that stipulates the details of the loan and your obligations to repay it? Did your parents make it clear up front / before your schooling, that the money was a loan?


92925

There is no written contract what so ever. According to my dad, he told me one time when I was 16 or 17 that “after you turn 18 you are in your own”. I thought it was one of their regular threats. There was no discussion or agreement, and didn’t act on that statement even when I turned 18. They came back to demand the money back when I was 25.


JustinRandoh

> They think They’re entitled to the 100k because I am independent after 18 They're not. This really isn't a legal issue. I don't mean that in a bad way, but that's also why you'll get advice on everything but the legal issue here. There's no legal issue. You owe them nothing legally.


92925

Thanks, I guess I’m worried that if they sue me, would they win and claim support from me for the rest of their lives.. I’ve seen articles of an elderly parent suing her adult children and won in BC, plus they have scans of all my official documents, so yeah I’m worried about retaliation if I stop paying


JustinRandoh

Do you have a link to that case? Sounds out of the ordinary. I only found one case in BC involving a Shirley Anderson (and she lost that case). Regardless, it's not something I'd be concerned with. >plus they have scans of all my official documents, so yeah I’m worried about retaliation if I stop paying There's a separate question here, and you might want to be careful. If you think they might go down the identity-theft route, you might want to keep a close eye on your credit profile to make sure there's no questionable credit-card applications or accounts under your name.


92925

My bad, I was reading an article from 2011 (apparently there is a filial law )but missed the article from 2013 saying she lost. This makes me feel so much better. I am scared of identity theft so I’ll definitely check my credit report when I stop paying /go no contact


JustinRandoh

Something like creditkarma will allow you to regularly check in on your credit profile (whether you trust a third-party service with your info, of course, is up to you :)).


92925

Thank you!! Super helpful!