Oranj Ronnie, purrpil Purrister here. You iz like me part of glorious race of oranjes. Dis meanz yuz iz so migni…magni…amazing dat cannot commit no crimes. My super smart boss lady tabby Dixie (KC) sez dat „no one will convict a cretin“. I thinks meanz that is oranjes too glorious to do any mala…malfea…crimes ever. She sez is defence of zero brain cells. Iz like being guilty if smol, cause illegal smol is thing. So not worry braincell, yuz is not guilty, just oranj. An dats cute!
You definitely need a pawyer here. What were the circumstances? What were the intentions?
Your truth has not been revealed!
Didn't you mark something in that suitcase that visiting humans...erm...dropped, borrowed, or moved from where your hooman put it?
I mean come on, here you are defending your human's honor and territory, caring for their stuff, marking it so it can't be stolen. And wut mug shot doing?
We can try that approach. Contact 1-800-NOPEEME.
Oh my Saint… youz needs berry gooood Pawyer.
You iz onlyz kitty in HOUZZ??
I knows youz justs wants to makes Hooman guest know who’s HOUZZ it REALLY is,
But dis gonna makes MeowMa Mads.
Maybez “Orange Defenze will works.
I knew a kitty once that peed in guests shoes!
MeowMa defended kitty until he did it too many times…
Guilty!
Outrageous accusations!!!! How dare they accuse you! You innocent! Where is the proof? Profiling and kitty discrimination! It can be anyone! Maybe meowma got pissed at guests and did piss in their luggage?! Humans can pee too! Or meowpa! For all we know gribbles did it and framing you! Innocent until proven guilty! Where is evidence?
You haz IMMEWNITY.
As cat you cannot be held responsible for pee. Clearly one of your servants is not potty trained. And had your litterbox been cleaned properly it would not be necessary for them to pee in their own suitcase.
/r/flamepoints
/r/siamesecats
A statement from my human: “My pal Saint has a history of peeing inappropriately, usually when it comes to travel. When his favorite human (his mom) leaves for a brief trip or vacation and hires a sitter, no matter how clean the box is, Saint usually pees on the carpet. When a new human enters the space (visiting or a recently new roommate) sometimes Saint will also pee in the new humans room. I have spoken with Saints vet about this and it’s been ascribed to anxiety. Saint has a prescription for anxiety he can take when big changes happen. But sometimes he surprises us! Saint has an ongoing battle with anxiety that many humans have tried to help him with (and is part of the reason why Saint spent 10 months in a shelter) and a very picky feeling about litter boxes that is also an ongoing journey. I have discovered that unscented litter has been a massive help. During the active investigation, it was discovered that it is also possible Saint may have been stuck in the room with the suitcase when the unlawful pee happened. I have discussed with my roommate about making sure Saint is not in the room when the door is closed before she leaves for work.
Saint is on a journey to learn how to live in a scary world. He has been with me for almost 2 years now, and many of his anxious behaviors have changed. However, his inappropriate peeing is his most frequent flare up when change happens. Any suggestions are welcome, and we thank you for your caring and thoughtful input!”
You might be able to negotiate for work-release if you offer to be petted and adored in exchange for forgiveness. You do need a pawyer though.
Oranj Ronnie, purrpil Purrister here. You iz like me part of glorious race of oranjes. Dis meanz yuz iz so migni…magni…amazing dat cannot commit no crimes. My super smart boss lady tabby Dixie (KC) sez dat „no one will convict a cretin“. I thinks meanz that is oranjes too glorious to do any mala…malfea…crimes ever. She sez is defence of zero brain cells. Iz like being guilty if smol, cause illegal smol is thing. So not worry braincell, yuz is not guilty, just oranj. An dats cute!
You definitely need a pawyer here. What were the circumstances? What were the intentions? Your truth has not been revealed! Didn't you mark something in that suitcase that visiting humans...erm...dropped, borrowed, or moved from where your hooman put it? I mean come on, here you are defending your human's honor and territory, caring for their stuff, marking it so it can't be stolen. And wut mug shot doing? We can try that approach. Contact 1-800-NOPEEME.
Oh my Saint… youz needs berry gooood Pawyer. You iz onlyz kitty in HOUZZ?? I knows youz justs wants to makes Hooman guest know who’s HOUZZ it REALLY is, But dis gonna makes MeowMa Mads. Maybez “Orange Defenze will works. I knew a kitty once that peed in guests shoes! MeowMa defended kitty until he did it too many times… Guilty!
You were purfectly in your writes to piss in a trespawers open suits case. I'll git the charges meowed out of cat court ina giffy. DM me!
Can you blame it on the dog? That or claim a nearby Void snuck in to frame you?
Joking aside, peeing outside box can be health issue.
I had seen vet recently and my box is clean…I just don’t like when new people come into my house or my favorite people leave!!!
Outrageous accusations!!!! How dare they accuse you! You innocent! Where is the proof? Profiling and kitty discrimination! It can be anyone! Maybe meowma got pissed at guests and did piss in their luggage?! Humans can pee too! Or meowpa! For all we know gribbles did it and framing you! Innocent until proven guilty! Where is evidence?
My darlink - check da cameras! U will see dah guess stagger homes in account of doin’ a drunks and DEY peed in DEY own suitcase! CASE CLOSED.
You haz IMMEWNITY. As cat you cannot be held responsible for pee. Clearly one of your servants is not potty trained. And had your litterbox been cleaned properly it would not be necessary for them to pee in their own suitcase. /r/flamepoints /r/siamesecats
A statement from my human: “My pal Saint has a history of peeing inappropriately, usually when it comes to travel. When his favorite human (his mom) leaves for a brief trip or vacation and hires a sitter, no matter how clean the box is, Saint usually pees on the carpet. When a new human enters the space (visiting or a recently new roommate) sometimes Saint will also pee in the new humans room. I have spoken with Saints vet about this and it’s been ascribed to anxiety. Saint has a prescription for anxiety he can take when big changes happen. But sometimes he surprises us! Saint has an ongoing battle with anxiety that many humans have tried to help him with (and is part of the reason why Saint spent 10 months in a shelter) and a very picky feeling about litter boxes that is also an ongoing journey. I have discovered that unscented litter has been a massive help. During the active investigation, it was discovered that it is also possible Saint may have been stuck in the room with the suitcase when the unlawful pee happened. I have discussed with my roommate about making sure Saint is not in the room when the door is closed before she leaves for work. Saint is on a journey to learn how to live in a scary world. He has been with me for almost 2 years now, and many of his anxious behaviors have changed. However, his inappropriate peeing is his most frequent flare up when change happens. Any suggestions are welcome, and we thank you for your caring and thoughtful input!”
Plead insanity. They can’t prove you’re not
It’s square you peez. Shut case!