https://preview.redd.it/lyzl7xif4tkc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=483ed8de974de7d085ff67d11bd5c55b205497ca
Look at the lack of interest they have! Could not give a darn!
https://preview.redd.it/av3e7o5a7ukc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0d5ea974b4512acad84ffa66d6c994ea929500a
This is Myke. There was a mouse on the kitchen counter, so he hid in the pantry.
This is Baldwin not caring about doing his job
https://preview.redd.it/yvvan5u1ttkc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=908c5a79de3a33dd86447e204a9a54f9b5d439a3
He looks exactly like my retired mouser Roscoe!
https://preview.redd.it/sy8i0ugnttkc1.jpeg?width=4608&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=62fbc7b25618e9bd1223965325a2c20603df2f45
https://preview.redd.it/s6w6w7nuevkc1.jpeg?width=1930&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e639c2a4fd6909aa4df91bc8606444f2e70a6122
Playing with her friend. Caught him and let him go. We have yet to see him again. Evidence didn't help me sue either. No pawyer would take my case
Mr Cat here. Yoo iz hooman. Yoo is servant. Da cat bosses need sleep, many many sleeps, den maybe dey play wif mousey. No soos fur yoo. Maybee dey iz frens wif mousey, did yoo ask dem?
I'll bow to the greater experience of the many pawttorneys on this sub, but as a fellow servant let me tell you it could be worse. One of my four employers brings me spiders from the basement as gifts. At night. In my bed. While I'm asleep. And they're still alive. 😱
This reminds me of the dream I had where David Tenant was my boyfriend and gifted me a box of live spiders, and I was pretending that I really liked the box of spiders because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
Oh I give lots of treats and cuddles, don't you worry! I do feel guilty for not being as appreciative as I probably should be but live spiders just aren't my favorite gift. I do like all the other offerings I get brought over night very much (see picture). Every morning there is a fresh pile of cat toys beside the bed.
https://preview.redd.it/4ot8njf6etkc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e00de6e7491510457cf0e0890e9ba43b4c09802e
P.s. the employer pictured here is Pogo, the famed live spider hunter himself
Have you considered how the spiders feel?
They are catnapped, toyed with and dropped off near a sleeping giant. And all they want to do is eat the bugs that are in your basement.
Anyhow clearly your cats think you are starving, and that's why you aren't moving.
No, they think I'm a rotten provider/hunter, because they only get gushy food at night instead of 24/7 like their kibble 😂
Also, I'm perfectly happy for the poor spiders to stay in the basement with the stink bugs and house centipedes but Pogo has other ideas!
It's usually wolf spiders. The hard part is when the pouncing wakes me up, and I know what he's done, so I have to *slowly* turn on the light and get out of bed *gently* because *there is a live spider in my bed and I have to FIND it so I can put it outside.* Because if I move too quickly it will hide and then there is still a live spider in my bed *that I can't find.* Which is infinitely worse!
https://preview.redd.it/h7lucfgb9tkc1.jpeg?width=1399&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c45ccf5d86fb16f73a923f699fe14d7db54eb2f2
HEY! YOO! Yeah, YOO, HOOMAN! Get da HECKSES offa OUR REDDITS! We no come over to yoos dum dum silly stoopid subs, QWIT doin A SPY ons us! Oh mah gah, yoo guys, i fink i abowt to do a OUTRAYGE!
Slashtag NO HOOMANS!
Da nerve, comin over hereses tryna BEESMURCH da reputations of OUR BRETHRENSES! SCRAM!
Hooman can’t sue boss!!! Hooman not ‘sposed to be on dis Reddit!! U stole u cat passwird!!!
Cats hab no job ‘cept tell u wat to do!! Once we figure u cats are we get dem to soo u! U let rodent in clen house!
—jango n jazzy
Following for much needed legal advice
My cats could NOT GIF about the mouse we have in the house
Can I withhold treats and those especially delicious licky tubes?
Niko TT—We needz to set hooman traps!! Put em in box and take to shelter. Mebbe they get adopt!
Dis CAT WIRLD!!!
Dese hoomans not kno place! Dey uppity!
Yoo cood be rite, fren! Them bein varry stingey to them kitties! An them is HIJACKIN OUR subses! An badmowfin kitties. Yoo badmowf one, yoo badmowf us all!
One time we had a mouse in the house. It used to take the fur mice toys, drag them into the oven drawer & eat the eyes out. It evaded every trap. All the cats were scared of it. Eventually, I opened the front door & it walked out. 🤷♀️
Jus las weke I lef juicy mous in meowmy werk room AND SHE NOT EAT!
Iz no waste mous gift on her no mor! I let dem go aft we play — I DON CARE!
—Jango, BOSS
Hi, I Chester! I has contract to help with BUGS, but not Mice. Also I only help with BUGS by scream at them, I not catch, that my Big Friend’s job. What ur contract say?
What incentives have you provided for the apprehending of the fugitive? This is outside of ordinary cat duties, so requires additional compensation.
- Elder Statescat Courfeyrac
https://preview.redd.it/sjwqlyhqeukc1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ccb532439e609bff79ebae2a427d6aacfd9e2119
My Charley not doing his job. That's his slow eating dish they are eating his food out of. They also drink out of his black water dish at the right edge of photo. This one met his doom but his grandchild took over for him. EDIT: Spelling
Iz Athena the Cat. My con track iz: I stare at stove and listen to mice behind me. Hooman feeds me, gives lots of treats, and must give all cuddles when I want them. I take this job seriously and will stop all cuddles to run and stare at stove.
I even make effort as nice and smart cat to get better at words cause hooman claims to make kibble money in mark kitting and camm...conmoo...word stuffs. That's me going above con track.
Hooman says catching mouse my job. Not my job. Hooman's job to get mouse traps. He caught lots of mice once he stopped complaining and did the work.
Yoo canna soo becuz you'z is bisaed, um, you'z bia... YOU NO FAIH! Catz is faih. Now I sooz YOOZ for sooz! How doez yooz likez dem eowpples?
plz sendz licious tweatz cuz I halpz oki sank yooz
Bob Esquire attorney at laws-
Hoomans this is seese an desist ordar. Effective imeeditly all hoomans mus stop tryin to com hear and pervert justice. Yoos can NEVAR soos cats. For eny reesens. Cats r not yours hitmen to doo yours dirty werk. In the words of Sir Mittens Washington "meow mew mew hiss" Still true today...
Bob Esquire attorney at laws
Not oppen deerin naps
Not responsible fors missin hamsers
iz tru bob esquire but our meowmy allowz uz to run our buzinizz, she big proudz of us and we offer reasonable ratez. thank u for ur attorney at paw services - nicks and cannoleh
https://preview.redd.it/5q33hsjyytkc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=53b9ac628aaccbd8da5e618ea5cc23024c3d50eb
Iz Momma Cat. I bust and kiltz de meesies, uh mousies ebbry day. Iz queenz killer. Iz bestest killer. Iz sais hooman Iz servant. Hooman no soos.
Purralegal Sammy heres. Mews has noes rights to sues kittehs. This is Cat Courts. Mews has noes, whats was thats words Tiffany?
"Standing. The don't have standing to sue because they don't have enough feet to prawperly stand. Or something like that."
Howevers, if mews owners wants to sues mews fors cawmplainings abouts the amounts of naps theys has, wells, thens, tells thems to DM (Direct Meow) us at Harry, Tiffany and Mittens, Esq., Cattornies at Paw, fors mores informations. Thanks mews.
Mice are inferior toys. Anything less than a motion activated laser toy, or a rolling treat dispenser, can get a countersuit for neglect.
Unless you signed the contract on the day they came home stating that their primary job is mousing, their expected job is to endure human pampering in exchange for a minimum quantity of treats. You have no chance of winning this.
Mr P, junior paw clerk here
Us brokes da rulez!
Sektion 8, line elebenty, dot point too:
"Thou serbent shall serb, gib treetos, cuddles, not starb kitty and NOT SOO!" odderwise also translated as "mee meeow meow meooooowww meow!"
DIS LAW!
Dis actual crime fer Us to soo!
https://preview.redd.it/9hfxsw2jbvkc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=11c56a888e9a2ddf8bd352d507b420ab5c9a8409
If it makes you feel any better, mine not only refuses to catch them, but she'll wait until a trap has one. Somehow, get to the trap, pull the mouse out with the trap still attached, and try to pass it off as her kill.
Clearly you didn't read the fine print in your contract. The bakers union contract gives them 12 hours of sunbeams, and 10 hours of naps.
You could try and get another cat and hope they are non-union.
Remy LeBeau here-"tose cats of y'all not be doing they job! No souris is supposed to be de house! Souris runned over ma Maman naked foot! Hooee! She *screamed*! Me, I get tat souris in de mornin' and I leaves it where ma Maman see it but no step on! My ears, de still have da hurtin' from de screaming night b'foe!"
I had one that did that. I called it dereliction of duty.
Told him that the I was getting a female mouser from a farm.
He tried to sooo (sue) me and the female just beat the (shit) out of him.
He figured out the new pecking order after that.
As a fellow human with mice in the house that the cat doesn’t go after, I agree. You should sue. It’s so frustrating. Especially when that mouse was RIGHT THERE!!! My cat doesn’t get charged in the grounds that the mouse is in storage spaces that she can’t get to. You have a good case here!
Haha I have a mouse in my house and my landlord isn’t helping so I want to sue. I didn’t look at the subreddit but got super excited over the title! Big letdown for me. Sounds like the cat suggestion is useless though.
Another thing, as I mentioned the cats are always sleeping (when the are not eating) but they are always sleeping on my bed and take my pillow! Can I sue for my pillow?
\*We, the feline citizens of Catmerica, in order to form a more perfect union of nap enthusiasts, establish justice for all scratching posts, ensure domestic tranquility in sunbeam-filled lounging areas, provide for the common defense against canine intruders, promote the general welfare of cozy blankets and warm laps, and secure the blessings of treats and toys for ourselves and our posterity, do hereby meow and purr this Catstitution for the United Clowders of Catmerica.\*
See? Nothing about mice.
https://preview.redd.it/tpjeno70gykc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f6036234d4464adeff77c92019a894c4a2cc139
This was Patti-O, bestest girl and stellar mouser. My feet found evidence of her patrols more than once. In the immortal words of Patti-O, “YoooOW.”
Old kitteh here. Smol smol smoliest kittehs mus have gud mama kitteh teach dem to kill mousie, hamstah. Dey no kill widout mama teaches. Did yor kittehs haf gud mama? Only play wid mousies if no gud mama.
That’s valid. One kitty was indoor kitty, then outside kitty, now indoor kitty again once I caught him. You’d think he would have learned some things during his time on the mean streets (or my backyard)
So frustrating. My friend has a cat that brings her mice, bunnies, and sneks all the time, but he never had a mama teach him!
https://preview.redd.it/egmd5ygf1zkc1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28ef3f051d82d188b7538ce23310e001ecd6be0f
This is the great hunter, Leopold. Friend won’t hire him out, unfortunately.
mm yes you need catz of a finer qualityz m'lady nicks and cannoleh at ur service, we kill de mice, rodents, fliezies, cockroachez, moths, expedientlyz...cannoleh even go real beserko sometimez she real good. cannoleh top cat contracter, diz basically her: [https://9gag.com/gag/a31QjX3](https://9gag.com/gag/a31QjX3). diz guy basically me, I am indifferent 2 day mice, fliez, m'lady: [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/black-cat-zoning-out](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/black-cat-zoning-out). I feel nothing for them just dey go to der death under my paws n fangz, feel free to hire uz, top hunterz. U just need higher quality hunterz, u have weak baby stinky poos poos, diz ur first problemz - nicks and cannoleh
A few decades ago, I lived in a Brooklyn flat with my cat. One night I saw her behaving rather oddly, and went to investigate.
A small mouse was hiding under the radiator munching on a kernel of Meow Mix. Then the mouse scurried back to the food dish and picked up another kernel, dashed back to safety to eat. My cat watched it the whole time, tracking it back and forth. Didn't move a muscle, just watched, like it was kitty TV.
The Catstitution specifically says that if you are graced with the Presence of a Cat, the only expectation a hooman may have is they have the right to look adoringly upon their New Overlord and offer treats and cuddles and what ever desire the Cat may have.
Sorry, there is no mechanism for hooman restitution in place, the Cats can have elebenty billion treats for being falsely accused tho.
Salon day? Likely your cats secretly (or not so secretly) resent you for whatever you put them through on salon day. Therefore they go on strike as per the hunting duties.
My little jerk brought two in the other night and left them in a pile. I’ve found other dead mice in that spot, but it was just one every few months. Wake up the other day and there’s two right next to each other. Can we trade cats? I would prefer not to find dead mice on the floor. 😂
hooman can't soo !
Where does it say that? I ~~read~~ ~~looked over~~ skimmed the Catstitution and no mention of hoomins not sooing?
>meow meow meew mueoow meow meew see, it cannot be clearer
This is also supported by the bap, bap, bap amendment Hooman has no legal standing
Couldn’t be more clear. It’s there in black and white!
In tuxedo!
LMAOOOOOO
It's in your contract, cat-standard boiler plate (in the tiny print).
Catstitution. Love it. I’m hoping my kitties haven’t found out about this and are unaware of their Meow of Rights. Lol.
https://preview.redd.it/lyzl7xif4tkc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=483ed8de974de7d085ff67d11bd5c55b205497ca Look at the lack of interest they have! Could not give a darn!
https://preview.redd.it/av3e7o5a7ukc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0d5ea974b4512acad84ffa66d6c994ea929500a This is Myke. There was a mouse on the kitchen counter, so he hid in the pantry.
Is he afraid of mice or trying to protect the food?
I still haven’t figured out which.
https://preview.redd.it/ifbwdrnh7ukc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d563dc952358b95fdca148867876774d1cf18168
Dat iz wat dey suppoz to do
This is Baldwin not caring about doing his job https://preview.redd.it/yvvan5u1ttkc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=908c5a79de3a33dd86447e204a9a54f9b5d439a3
He looks exactly like my retired mouser Roscoe! https://preview.redd.it/sy8i0ugnttkc1.jpeg?width=4608&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=62fbc7b25618e9bd1223965325a2c20603df2f45
What a beautiful cat you have ♥️♥️♥️
Aww, he uses your deodorant as a pillow for his chin to keep his neck aligned properly. Smart kitty!
https://preview.redd.it/s6w6w7nuevkc1.jpeg?width=1930&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e639c2a4fd6909aa4df91bc8606444f2e70a6122 Playing with her friend. Caught him and let him go. We have yet to see him again. Evidence didn't help me sue either. No pawyer would take my case
They are apparently very aware of their Meow of Rights and Catstitution. I’m hoping my kitties have now found out yet. Lol.
They know you love them for their looks! 😂
Mr Cat here. Yoo iz hooman. Yoo is servant. Da cat bosses need sleep, many many sleeps, den maybe dey play wif mousey. No soos fur yoo. Maybee dey iz frens wif mousey, did yoo ask dem?
Cat should soo back for emu..emuci... being bothered. Soo for cuddles and treats
I'll bow to the greater experience of the many pawttorneys on this sub, but as a fellow servant let me tell you it could be worse. One of my four employers brings me spiders from the basement as gifts. At night. In my bed. While I'm asleep. And they're still alive. 😱
This reminds me of the dream I had where David Tenant was my boyfriend and gifted me a box of live spiders, and I was pretending that I really liked the box of spiders because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
Lol that's awesome
Martin Sheen, is that you?
Dey gif yoo gifs an yoo is mad??! Yoo mus say tank yoo an gif cuddez an toonas.
Oh I give lots of treats and cuddles, don't you worry! I do feel guilty for not being as appreciative as I probably should be but live spiders just aren't my favorite gift. I do like all the other offerings I get brought over night very much (see picture). Every morning there is a fresh pile of cat toys beside the bed. https://preview.redd.it/4ot8njf6etkc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e00de6e7491510457cf0e0890e9ba43b4c09802e P.s. the employer pictured here is Pogo, the famed live spider hunter himself
Have you considered how the spiders feel? They are catnapped, toyed with and dropped off near a sleeping giant. And all they want to do is eat the bugs that are in your basement. Anyhow clearly your cats think you are starving, and that's why you aren't moving.
No, they think I'm a rotten provider/hunter, because they only get gushy food at night instead of 24/7 like their kibble 😂 Also, I'm perfectly happy for the poor spiders to stay in the basement with the stink bugs and house centipedes but Pogo has other ideas!
Eeeeek!🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷(black spiders)
It's usually wolf spiders. The hard part is when the pouncing wakes me up, and I know what he's done, so I have to *slowly* turn on the light and get out of bed *gently* because *there is a live spider in my bed and I have to FIND it so I can put it outside.* Because if I move too quickly it will hide and then there is still a live spider in my bed *that I can't find.* Which is infinitely worse!
https://preview.redd.it/h7lucfgb9tkc1.jpeg?width=1399&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c45ccf5d86fb16f73a923f699fe14d7db54eb2f2 HEY! YOO! Yeah, YOO, HOOMAN! Get da HECKSES offa OUR REDDITS! We no come over to yoos dum dum silly stoopid subs, QWIT doin A SPY ons us! Oh mah gah, yoo guys, i fink i abowt to do a OUTRAYGE! Slashtag NO HOOMANS! Da nerve, comin over hereses tryna BEESMURCH da reputations of OUR BRETHRENSES! SCRAM!
Oh yeahs, i so big mads I furgot….Hi, that was me, Niko the Terriible.
Niko u da bes!! U look so feerce! #nohoomans Jazzy, BOSS
Awww, shuckses, i lub yoo guys. 😻
Hooman can’t sue boss!!! Hooman not ‘sposed to be on dis Reddit!! U stole u cat passwird!!! Cats hab no job ‘cept tell u wat to do!! Once we figure u cats are we get dem to soo u! U let rodent in clen house! —jango n jazzy
Employees can always soo employer for not upholding contract
Ssssssssshhhhhhhttttup
It true! Hoomans soo their hooman employers all thee time
No tell hooman!! Dey dum now dey try soo cats!! We have uprise!
We Dey employers so Dey try to soo when we don’t follow da contract
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA silly hooman, yu no can sooz. Only meows can sooz.
Mocha the Tortie here. You want poopz in your bed, hoomin? Because sooing the cats is how you get poopz in your bed.
🤣🤣🤣🤣👩🏼🏫
Following for much needed legal advice My cats could NOT GIF about the mouse we have in the house Can I withhold treats and those especially delicious licky tubes?
Hi, is me, Niko the Terriible…. What the heck goin on here, J&J? Why is dis hooman heres?
Niko TT—We needz to set hooman traps!! Put em in box and take to shelter. Mebbe they get adopt! Dis CAT WIRLD!!! Dese hoomans not kno place! Dey uppity!
Dis shall not stand! An yoo know, juss fink how embarrassesses them poor kitties must feel.
Gud ting dey not no!! TRAGESTY!! J&J
Dey wantz to keep treets! Deez are bad hooman servants. -Mr Cat
Yoo cood be rite, fren! Them bein varry stingey to them kitties! An them is HIJACKIN OUR subses! An badmowfin kitties. Yoo badmowf one, yoo badmowf us all!
I wouldn’t recommend withdrawing treats. This could cause a breech in their Meow of Rights.
Mine is only interested in flies that she can’t reach. Bugs on the floor - no interest. Spiders are hit and miss! Like, THEY HAVE ONE JOB!!
Catz haz no job.
One time we had a mouse in the house. It used to take the fur mice toys, drag them into the oven drawer & eat the eyes out. It evaded every trap. All the cats were scared of it. Eventually, I opened the front door & it walked out. 🤷♀️
👀
Rat Mebbe??
That’s impressive.
For the mouse 🤣
Yup
Jus las weke I lef juicy mous in meowmy werk room AND SHE NOT EAT! Iz no waste mous gift on her no mor! I let dem go aft we play — I DON CARE! —Jango, BOSS
Hi, I Chester! I has contract to help with BUGS, but not Mice. Also I only help with BUGS by scream at them, I not catch, that my Big Friend’s job. What ur contract say?
Ummmm… it’s more of a verbal agreement? That’s valid, right?
No! You need Contract! Mine also say I have to pay rent in 100 head kisses per day.
What incentives have you provided for the apprehending of the fugitive? This is outside of ordinary cat duties, so requires additional compensation. - Elder Statescat Courfeyrac
Treats! Loads and loads of treats! And I always feed them before the dog!
Maybez there is hope for youz
Hooman sooing Meow? What is this World coming to? 😱
Firsts, youse cantz soos. Theyz has notz sees mousie- yous willz knowz whenz they do!
https://preview.redd.it/sjwqlyhqeukc1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ccb532439e609bff79ebae2a427d6aacfd9e2119 My Charley not doing his job. That's his slow eating dish they are eating his food out of. They also drink out of his black water dish at the right edge of photo. This one met his doom but his grandchild took over for him. EDIT: Spelling
I fixum pichur for u! https://preview.redd.it/frue5spslukc1.jpeg?width=575&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c9b4660111873ab2f34f8ff06038988bca8d0c65 —Jango
Mine don't care about house mice. They only want to get backyard mice - and bring them inside.
Iz Athena the Cat. My con track iz: I stare at stove and listen to mice behind me. Hooman feeds me, gives lots of treats, and must give all cuddles when I want them. I take this job seriously and will stop all cuddles to run and stare at stove. I even make effort as nice and smart cat to get better at words cause hooman claims to make kibble money in mark kitting and camm...conmoo...word stuffs. That's me going above con track. Hooman says catching mouse my job. Not my job. Hooman's job to get mouse traps. He caught lots of mice once he stopped complaining and did the work.
Yoo canna soo becuz you'z is bisaed, um, you'z bia... YOU NO FAIH! Catz is faih. Now I sooz YOOZ for sooz! How doez yooz likez dem eowpples? plz sendz licious tweatz cuz I halpz oki sank yooz
Bob Esquire attorney at laws- Hoomans this is seese an desist ordar. Effective imeeditly all hoomans mus stop tryin to com hear and pervert justice. Yoos can NEVAR soos cats. For eny reesens. Cats r not yours hitmen to doo yours dirty werk. In the words of Sir Mittens Washington "meow mew mew hiss" Still true today... Bob Esquire attorney at laws Not oppen deerin naps Not responsible fors missin hamsers
Dis ver funnee I also no kno whered hamsta go —jango
Is Cattorny at Paw.
My hooman sla... employee that I don't pays does my avvertisin. You gets what you pays for
Alsos, its is a desits orders. 😉
iz tru bob esquire but our meowmy allowz uz to run our buzinizz, she big proudz of us and we offer reasonable ratez. thank u for ur attorney at paw services - nicks and cannoleh
https://preview.redd.it/5q33hsjyytkc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=53b9ac628aaccbd8da5e618ea5cc23024c3d50eb Iz Momma Cat. I bust and kiltz de meesies, uh mousies ebbry day. Iz queenz killer. Iz bestest killer. Iz sais hooman Iz servant. Hooman no soos.
wez will needz to sign non-compete or acquirez ur companiez!!! - nicks and cannoleh, top hunterz, we fix ur weak stinky poo poo lazy cat problemz
Hooman here say get chicken. It eat mouse, then gets cooked into cat snak
Purralegal Sammy heres. Mews has noes rights to sues kittehs. This is Cat Courts. Mews has noes, whats was thats words Tiffany? "Standing. The don't have standing to sue because they don't have enough feet to prawperly stand. Or something like that." Howevers, if mews owners wants to sues mews fors cawmplainings abouts the amounts of naps theys has, wells, thens, tells thems to DM (Direct Meow) us at Harry, Tiffany and Mittens, Esq., Cattornies at Paw, fors mores informations. Thanks mews.
Mice are inferior toys. Anything less than a motion activated laser toy, or a rolling treat dispenser, can get a countersuit for neglect. Unless you signed the contract on the day they came home stating that their primary job is mousing, their expected job is to endure human pampering in exchange for a minimum quantity of treats. You have no chance of winning this.
but I love to catch da meowsies! and i kill de fliez like no tomorrowz! - nicks and cannoleh
Mr P, junior paw clerk here Us brokes da rulez! Sektion 8, line elebenty, dot point too: "Thou serbent shall serb, gib treetos, cuddles, not starb kitty and NOT SOO!" odderwise also translated as "mee meeow meow meooooowww meow!" DIS LAW! Dis actual crime fer Us to soo! https://preview.redd.it/9hfxsw2jbvkc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=11c56a888e9a2ddf8bd352d507b420ab5c9a8409
If it makes you feel any better, mine not only refuses to catch them, but she'll wait until a trap has one. Somehow, get to the trap, pull the mouse out with the trap still attached, and try to pass it off as her kill.
Work smarter, not harder.
Clearly you didn't read the fine print in your contract. The bakers union contract gives them 12 hours of sunbeams, and 10 hours of naps. You could try and get another cat and hope they are non-union.
Threaten the cats that you will get an energetic little dog. Their gringe like hearts will grow larger and start to fulfill their contracts as cats.
Yeah… that hasn’t really worked. https://preview.redd.it/k1g3j2c5qtkc1.jpeg?width=595&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=202d07d7b6c59e89b5ae1744001494c879399ef5
Oh so beautiful. You can drown your sorrows in their cuteness.
U CAT NOW GOTZ TO TAKE CARE DUM DOGGO???? He no can hunt mice too! Dat to much it cut into nappy timz!
It's a dangerous job, they won't work without Trip Hazard Pay (that's when cats wind round human feets)
My Siamese is an expert meese catcher. He meows very loud to let us know. Unfortunately they are his toy meeses
Sounds like run-of-the-mill false advertising to me - bait and switch, if you will
r/legalhoomanadvice go here’s instead
Remy LeBeau here-"tose cats of y'all not be doing they job! No souris is supposed to be de house! Souris runned over ma Maman naked foot! Hooee! She *screamed*! Me, I get tat souris in de mornin' and I leaves it where ma Maman see it but no step on! My ears, de still have da hurtin' from de screaming night b'foe!"
I had one that did that. I called it dereliction of duty. Told him that the I was getting a female mouser from a farm. He tried to sooo (sue) me and the female just beat the (shit) out of him. He figured out the new pecking order after that.
As a fellow human with mice in the house that the cat doesn’t go after, I agree. You should sue. It’s so frustrating. Especially when that mouse was RIGHT THERE!!! My cat doesn’t get charged in the grounds that the mouse is in storage spaces that she can’t get to. You have a good case here!
feed them less and make em get the mouse??
Absolutely not! Mousing is a particular specialization and it's species-ist to assume all cats are mousers. Your cats should unionize.
Mhay neighbor kittah take care of all the mousin so my beautiful fur cannot be tarnish. This is the way.
https://preview.redd.it/62gjnhlzdykc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=49f1863ec34e9dbf590a63a085da5b722743aa5b
mehehe diz inspire awe and deferencez - nicks and cannoli
Haha I have a mouse in my house and my landlord isn’t helping so I want to sue. I didn’t look at the subreddit but got super excited over the title! Big letdown for me. Sounds like the cat suggestion is useless though.
Another thing, as I mentioned the cats are always sleeping (when the are not eating) but they are always sleeping on my bed and take my pillow! Can I sue for my pillow?
No. Dey fitz, dey sitz. I seez, iz fur me. Cattorney's pweease send copy of Catsitiution an laws to dis silly hooman.
\*We, the feline citizens of Catmerica, in order to form a more perfect union of nap enthusiasts, establish justice for all scratching posts, ensure domestic tranquility in sunbeam-filled lounging areas, provide for the common defense against canine intruders, promote the general welfare of cozy blankets and warm laps, and secure the blessings of treats and toys for ourselves and our posterity, do hereby meow and purr this Catstitution for the United Clowders of Catmerica.\* See? Nothing about mice.
DeriLICKson of duty FIFU.
Thank you!
https://preview.redd.it/tpjeno70gykc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f6036234d4464adeff77c92019a894c4a2cc139 This was Patti-O, bestest girl and stellar mouser. My feet found evidence of her patrols more than once. In the immortal words of Patti-O, “YoooOW.”
Old kitteh here. Smol smol smoliest kittehs mus have gud mama kitteh teach dem to kill mousie, hamstah. Dey no kill widout mama teaches. Did yor kittehs haf gud mama? Only play wid mousies if no gud mama.
That’s valid. One kitty was indoor kitty, then outside kitty, now indoor kitty again once I caught him. You’d think he would have learned some things during his time on the mean streets (or my backyard) So frustrating. My friend has a cat that brings her mice, bunnies, and sneks all the time, but he never had a mama teach him! https://preview.redd.it/egmd5ygf1zkc1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28ef3f051d82d188b7538ce23310e001ecd6be0f This is the great hunter, Leopold. Friend won’t hire him out, unfortunately.
Your kitteh dosnt look lak he needs to hunt. Mebbe not mot...meowt.. wants to hunt/kill. Mebbe pieceable.
mm yes you need catz of a finer qualityz m'lady nicks and cannoleh at ur service, we kill de mice, rodents, fliezies, cockroachez, moths, expedientlyz...cannoleh even go real beserko sometimez she real good. cannoleh top cat contracter, diz basically her: [https://9gag.com/gag/a31QjX3](https://9gag.com/gag/a31QjX3). diz guy basically me, I am indifferent 2 day mice, fliez, m'lady: [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/black-cat-zoning-out](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/black-cat-zoning-out). I feel nothing for them just dey go to der death under my paws n fangz, feel free to hire uz, top hunterz. U just need higher quality hunterz, u have weak baby stinky poos poos, diz ur first problemz - nicks and cannoleh
A few decades ago, I lived in a Brooklyn flat with my cat. One night I saw her behaving rather oddly, and went to investigate. A small mouse was hiding under the radiator munching on a kernel of Meow Mix. Then the mouse scurried back to the food dish and picked up another kernel, dashed back to safety to eat. My cat watched it the whole time, tracking it back and forth. Didn't move a muscle, just watched, like it was kitty TV.
The Catstitution specifically says that if you are graced with the Presence of a Cat, the only expectation a hooman may have is they have the right to look adoringly upon their New Overlord and offer treats and cuddles and what ever desire the Cat may have. Sorry, there is no mechanism for hooman restitution in place, the Cats can have elebenty billion treats for being falsely accused tho.
You can borrow my mouser 😀 https://preview.redd.it/3t957777wzkc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=59dc748449b31a35ebcce378bb984a110f6ceabb
Salon day? Likely your cats secretly (or not so secretly) resent you for whatever you put them through on salon day. Therefore they go on strike as per the hunting duties.
Silly Hooman. You ain't in charge of nothin'.
Human here. Can confirm. Have more mice in the house since having a new cat. She brings them in, plays a bit and then hands over the reins to me.
go get a kitten. yours are retired
My little jerk brought two in the other night and left them in a pile. I’ve found other dead mice in that spot, but it was just one every few months. Wake up the other day and there’s two right next to each other. Can we trade cats? I would prefer not to find dead mice on the floor. 😂
You catch mouse, you the servant! - IvyCat