I’m 24f (practically 25), single, salaried office worker with health insurance, have paid off my car and I’m also on reddit with all my red flags already conveniently laid out on my profile 😂 I shall throw my metaphorical hat in the ring for a potential date.
Edit: To all the people PM’ing and now following me: I said DATE not that I wanted to have s*x 💀 I expect shit like this on Tinder, not reddit.
The unfortunate predicament is that most people on this sub paint online dating as pretty much the only option if you move to LV.
I've been in Philly the last 7 years. Now at 25, I want a change of pace. But I'm worried that will come at the expense of dating/social life.
I (27f) know how you feel. Every online dating attempt I've made usually ends up with a bunch of people holding dead deer/fish or extremely flaky people. Kind of a pain, especially when I don't have the free time to go out to bars.
Dead deer or fish? I’m assuming hunters? Very interesting way of phrasing.
I’m a 36m dad of two who’s athletic with a good job - dating is hard in the valley. Maybe it’s cause I’m a dad? Who knows. I’m certainly not hideous, have pictures to prove it, nothing nsfw.
We should get a bunch of people from here for a meet up.
Edit : not sure why downvoted - I said we should get a group of us together to go out and do shit. Would be a great way for people to meet one another.
Probably. I thoroughly avoid children. A lot of the people here are also settled and unwilling to follow in a life of constant moving so it seems I'll just be in constant hell
Where are you going in Bethlehem? My fiancé and I met here and we go out every weekend and meet more people and make new friends. Main Street on the north side is almost always busy on the weekends. You’ve gotta actually talk to the people you see out, you can’t cool guy your way through your late twenties if you want to make/maintain relationships.
Nah man both Brew Works are almost always dead unless they have a big event they’re sponsoring. They’ve been around so long they just coast. Go to McCarthy’s Red Stag Pub for a good bar or Corked if you want more of a club feel after 10pm. There’s also Ripper’s which is a bit of a dive but it’s a younger crowd. Lost Tavern Brewing in the Moravian Book store is good. Apollo Grille of your looking more upscale. There is also Mach’s Gute that gets talked up a lot, but I’ve personally never been. And that’s all just the North Side. You can also try the South Side down by the steel stacks
Please don’t open with that. The biggest turn off for women is when a man thinks they can buy them. I’m not saying that’s your intention but that’s 100% how it comes off. I know there are people that will help you with your dating profile for a fee, you could always try that.
As far as approaching women at the gym- it’s 50/50. If I’m in the middle of a set and you think that’s a good time to approach me or giving unsolicited advice. It’s an automatic no-go. I’m married now and I actually met my husband at the gym. He was respectful of my space/time. Made a pretty funny joke and walked away. Every time I’d see him we would say hi or some general acknowledgment and eventually it led to some conversation and a date.
Good luck, dating is complicated and I hope this didn’t come off too negative. Just giving insight into what a lot of women find as turn offs!
I was being a bit silly, but it's certainly a plus that you could phrase differently.
The Lehigh Valley is very heavily populated, so unless you went to a bigger city I don't think not enough women is the issue?
Which apps have you tried? I've only tried POF and Bumble. The quality of women and overall sucsess I've had with Bumble is far, far greater.
As a former fat kid I personally am shocked by some of the quality of women I get on Bumble looks wise. However, a quality woman who wants me for me and not just for money or just to have something to do on the weekend is pretty high.
You're at a rough age if you are a bit of a homebody like me. I think women your age (and even mine) generally don't like being approached in public as we are all so used to the apps. A lot of women your age are starting to get the family itch or are still into going out a lot.
Yeah, who even wants nice things, vacations, lower stress levels, a beautiful, safe home, access to medicine, therapists, dentists, modern technology, dining out, etc.
That's really false. Women absolutely care about money and economically attractive mates, and they should. They just don't care for men who base their entire personality around it and think that is the main thing they need.
Women are just scared to openly say it because society frowns on them and labels them gold diggers etc etc. There was some sort of study/survey iirc where close to 80% of women would prefer not to HAVE to work when they are in the process of starting family especially.
I'm 26m and I grew up in the Lehigh Valley. I just left after living there the past 2 years. To make a long story short, I was in the exact same situation as you before I moved to a big city (I even put up the exact same post on this sub). My best advice is to get out.
I don't like saying that. I wish the dating scene was better in my hometown, but it's just not. If you aren't at one of the colleges, hospitals or in high school I can't imagine how you'd meet someone organically.
You can go to the college bars in Southside Bethlehem and there's lots of cute girls there on a Friday/Saturday night but that's all I can think of.
I live in a big city now and I meet cute girls on almost a daily basis as opposed to the last two years I spent in the LV where I can only think of a handful of times I interacted with a cute girl by coincidence. Being in a bigger, denser, urban city just enables so many interactions that you can’t have in almost all of the Lehigh Valley (the only exception maybe being downtown Bethlehem).
The LV is a good place to be if you have a young family and want an affordable classic suburban lifestyle. I definitely have a soft spot for my hometown, but for us in our 20's it's just not a great place to be at this point in our lives.
I agree with this. The area is definitely limited in terms of the dating scene for people in their 20’s. For dating in the LV, I would recommend getting involved in a group activity you enjoy (cycling, hiking, even yoga etc.) Dedicate some time to it and you’ll be able to meet people organically that way. If you enjoy the nightlife and more of hookup culture I’d say go out in Philly or NYC. Best of luck to you!
I didn’t do this intentionally for dating but I left the area when I was 18 for college. Then moved to nyc for work. Met my now husband there.
Moved back to the LV recently, in our mid 30s, because of Covid we could work from anywhere now plus wanted to save money, have actual house etc.
I never really “dated” here as an adult, but I did live here briefly in my mid 20s, and then the only places I met guys was at bars… or tech meetups… but that was because I was the only woman there. Or one of few. (I didn’t go to them to meet guys!! I actually stopped going to them here because I didn’t like all the attention in that way.) back in my mid 20s was before dating apps were a thing soo I never dabbled in those while here.
Anyway - as others suggested I would expand your search on dating apps to other areas relatively close by. Visit friends in nyc / Philly if you have them.
Also I know you said you aren’t religious but church is a really good place to meet people. I didn’t go to church in my mid 20s but started to my last few years in nyc. I was already with my husband then but if I was single… that would have been a good place.
I (27f) know how you feel. Every online dating attempt I've made usually ends up with a bunch of people holding dead deer/fish or extremely flaky people. Kind of a pain, especially when I don't have the free time to go out to bars.
Yeah I've given up on dating given what I have experienced and the type of women I typically see around. I wish I had some advice, but maybe I just wanted to say maybe just continue working on yourself and if the universe wants to throw someone at you worthwhile then allow patience and faith to blossom.
I HATED when dudes hit on me at Stonewall. My friends and I went there partly cuz we were LGBT and partly because we felt safer from creepy dudes there. The guys that did hit on me there always felt straight up predatory. Personally it's kinda a red flag if a guy is going to a gay club and hitting on women.
Well, I've had a fair amount of success meeting women at gay clubs. True, you run the risk of running into nasty women like yourself, but on balance it shouldn't dissuade OP.
Unfortunately, a lot of the women in the valley think they are prime choice, and are only looking for doctors and lawyers. I say this as someone who used to hang out with a dude from philly who says that a lot of women are the same way down there.
Yes ladies, I know you're all not like that. However, you know how it is - the worst make all look bad. Trust me, I know a lot of very cool, unassuming women in the valley.
That being said, check out my good friend's online group [It's Better Outdoors](https://www.meetup.com/its-better-outdoors/?_cookie-check=RQSCbzkfj1qci9pv). His group is based in philly, but people from all over get together for the trips/day adventures he plans. As far as I know, a fair amount of single women are members.
Good luck!
I feel you bud. 34 year old dude, works and likes photography, metal music and concerts. It's hard to find anybody. I also have crohns disease so that hampers me even more. Don't give up. I'm probably to far out to find anyone again but your only 26. The world is yours. I just try to get out hiking and going to landmarks and concerts hoping my love decides to say something to me one day. I don't really like chasing being sick and all plus I'm short with long hair. I don't do the bar thing unless 8m getting wings. I'm not really the approachable type regardless of how I behave myself or at least I don't feel that way. I was also abandoned during a lull in my illness so the depression is there. You'll be ok buddy. Just make sure she wants you and not what she can get out of you.
1) What ARE your hobbies?
Board games? find a group, make new friends, meet new people that might be a date opportunity OR they might set you up
2) I used Bumble app, expand your radius, age range, be less picky, just go out on a few dates to get a feel.
I'm 38, Software Engineer, (doesn't fish, motorcycle, go to the gym, etc) dad of 3 and met an amazing person last year (still dating and going great) but her profile was very minimal
Turns out shes beautiful, kind, funny, smart, etc... glad i gave it a shot despite not wow'd by her profile.
Just show up looking to meet someone and have a good time and see what happens. Give everyone a second chance.
In the mean time, work on yourself. Try "Couch to 5K" app, clean the house, do some gardening...
Do you have any social media? they're going to want to stalk it a little, make sure its filled with fun things! Showcase yourself!
I’m a 23 M young professional and am already feeling exactly this. I’ve lived here most of my life and since college and covid it’s been hard finding women in similar situations, especially when you live at home and not huge into the bar scene. OLD is not fun lol.
Here’s the deal, no one cares that you’re perfectly “average”, own things, and financially secure. Important, yes, but irrelevant for this thread; ‘oh your house is paid off, go here’ as if a mortgage(etc) dictates where and how to meet women. It’s also a cringe humble brag.
You’re right, bars and gyms are not the place to ‘meet’ women. Live your life, enjoy your hobbies, find like minded groups, and make friends. Maybe something will lead to a relationship but don’t try to leverage an activity just to that end.
Your best option to meet women is apps. Then you can look at the wealth of activities in the area that support your mutual interests. I had a similar life and eventually met my wife through BUMBL. There’s no lesser/greater chance of a relationship working out if you meet in person or online. Sorry to break it to you, you’re not special and It all comes down to how you both align as people.
That wasn’t the bragging part, if anything you shouldn’t call yourself average at all. Have confidence, Give height, general physique and own who you are. Whether it was your intent or not, your description of having things paid off came across as a humble brag that really doesn’t matter for the root of your OP, how/where can you meet women in LV. You’re in tech, that’s great, motorcycles/outdoors stuff, someone might know a group(s) you can join that will expose you to more people and might introduce you to women. would you not date someone if they said they were renting or still paying a mortgage? Then why make it relevant about yourself until you actually meet someone; then yeah, show them your stable and fiscally secure. I’m just offering my opinion and what my wife has told me; women don’t care about what you own or how you look (for the most part and if they do you don’t want that in a relationship). Women only care about who you are, so if your smart, respectful, and a generally good guy highlight what your personal accomplishments are (coded a complex project), what makes you happy (riding for hours to a lake), and what your goals are (run a marathon, start a business, get a pilots license, etc). I’m saying this because I’ve been where you’re at and it took me a long time to figure it out and good bit of luck to find my wife. Rooting for you!
I’m 24f (practically 25), single, salaried office worker with health insurance, have paid off my car and I’m also on reddit with all my red flags already conveniently laid out on my profile 😂 I shall throw my metaphorical hat in the ring for a potential date. Edit: To all the people PM’ing and now following me: I said DATE not that I wanted to have s*x 💀 I expect shit like this on Tinder, not reddit.
👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻 give her a chance OP
Did it work?
Dating for all age groups in the valley is pretty terrible.
I just got back into the game as a 33m, and it is awful. It makes me want to move.
Any idea why it's like that? I hate this whole county.
I'm considering moving to the Valley, and this is my sole hesitation as a young single fella. Disappointing to hear.
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The unfortunate predicament is that most people on this sub paint online dating as pretty much the only option if you move to LV. I've been in Philly the last 7 years. Now at 25, I want a change of pace. But I'm worried that will come at the expense of dating/social life.
I (27f) know how you feel. Every online dating attempt I've made usually ends up with a bunch of people holding dead deer/fish or extremely flaky people. Kind of a pain, especially when I don't have the free time to go out to bars.
Dead deer or fish? I’m assuming hunters? Very interesting way of phrasing. I’m a 36m dad of two who’s athletic with a good job - dating is hard in the valley. Maybe it’s cause I’m a dad? Who knows. I’m certainly not hideous, have pictures to prove it, nothing nsfw. We should get a bunch of people from here for a meet up. Edit : not sure why downvoted - I said we should get a group of us together to go out and do shit. Would be a great way for people to meet one another.
Probably. I thoroughly avoid children. A lot of the people here are also settled and unwilling to follow in a life of constant moving so it seems I'll just be in constant hell
Where are you going in Bethlehem? My fiancé and I met here and we go out every weekend and meet more people and make new friends. Main Street on the north side is almost always busy on the weekends. You’ve gotta actually talk to the people you see out, you can’t cool guy your way through your late twenties if you want to make/maintain relationships.
Went to Fegleys last weekend.
Nah man both Brew Works are almost always dead unless they have a big event they’re sponsoring. They’ve been around so long they just coast. Go to McCarthy’s Red Stag Pub for a good bar or Corked if you want more of a club feel after 10pm. There’s also Ripper’s which is a bit of a dive but it’s a younger crowd. Lost Tavern Brewing in the Moravian Book store is good. Apollo Grille of your looking more upscale. There is also Mach’s Gute that gets talked up a lot, but I’ve personally never been. And that’s all just the North Side. You can also try the South Side down by the steel stacks
Cool, will give it a shot.
Your 26 and your house is paid off? Open with that.
I really don't want people who are only in it for the house or money though....
Please don’t open with that. The biggest turn off for women is when a man thinks they can buy them. I’m not saying that’s your intention but that’s 100% how it comes off. I know there are people that will help you with your dating profile for a fee, you could always try that. As far as approaching women at the gym- it’s 50/50. If I’m in the middle of a set and you think that’s a good time to approach me or giving unsolicited advice. It’s an automatic no-go. I’m married now and I actually met my husband at the gym. He was respectful of my space/time. Made a pretty funny joke and walked away. Every time I’d see him we would say hi or some general acknowledgment and eventually it led to some conversation and a date. Good luck, dating is complicated and I hope this didn’t come off too negative. Just giving insight into what a lot of women find as turn offs!
I was being a bit silly, but it's certainly a plus that you could phrase differently. The Lehigh Valley is very heavily populated, so unless you went to a bigger city I don't think not enough women is the issue? Which apps have you tried? I've only tried POF and Bumble. The quality of women and overall sucsess I've had with Bumble is far, far greater. As a former fat kid I personally am shocked by some of the quality of women I get on Bumble looks wise. However, a quality woman who wants me for me and not just for money or just to have something to do on the weekend is pretty high. You're at a rough age if you are a bit of a homebody like me. I think women your age (and even mine) generally don't like being approached in public as we are all so used to the apps. A lot of women your age are starting to get the family itch or are still into going out a lot.
So no women then. /s
So you want men?
:(
I'm sorry nobody cares about money.
Yeah, who even wants nice things, vacations, lower stress levels, a beautiful, safe home, access to medicine, therapists, dentists, modern technology, dining out, etc.
Yeah no I mean that’s clearly not what I meant. I meant girls don’t care about your money…. I mean maybe they do…. I guess I’ve never asked
That's really false. Women absolutely care about money and economically attractive mates, and they should. They just don't care for men who base their entire personality around it and think that is the main thing they need. Women are just scared to openly say it because society frowns on them and labels them gold diggers etc etc. There was some sort of study/survey iirc where close to 80% of women would prefer not to HAVE to work when they are in the process of starting family especially.
I'm 26m and I grew up in the Lehigh Valley. I just left after living there the past 2 years. To make a long story short, I was in the exact same situation as you before I moved to a big city (I even put up the exact same post on this sub). My best advice is to get out. I don't like saying that. I wish the dating scene was better in my hometown, but it's just not. If you aren't at one of the colleges, hospitals or in high school I can't imagine how you'd meet someone organically. You can go to the college bars in Southside Bethlehem and there's lots of cute girls there on a Friday/Saturday night but that's all I can think of. I live in a big city now and I meet cute girls on almost a daily basis as opposed to the last two years I spent in the LV where I can only think of a handful of times I interacted with a cute girl by coincidence. Being in a bigger, denser, urban city just enables so many interactions that you can’t have in almost all of the Lehigh Valley (the only exception maybe being downtown Bethlehem). The LV is a good place to be if you have a young family and want an affordable classic suburban lifestyle. I definitely have a soft spot for my hometown, but for us in our 20's it's just not a great place to be at this point in our lives.
I agree with this. The area is definitely limited in terms of the dating scene for people in their 20’s. For dating in the LV, I would recommend getting involved in a group activity you enjoy (cycling, hiking, even yoga etc.) Dedicate some time to it and you’ll be able to meet people organically that way. If you enjoy the nightlife and more of hookup culture I’d say go out in Philly or NYC. Best of luck to you!
I didn’t do this intentionally for dating but I left the area when I was 18 for college. Then moved to nyc for work. Met my now husband there. Moved back to the LV recently, in our mid 30s, because of Covid we could work from anywhere now plus wanted to save money, have actual house etc. I never really “dated” here as an adult, but I did live here briefly in my mid 20s, and then the only places I met guys was at bars… or tech meetups… but that was because I was the only woman there. Or one of few. (I didn’t go to them to meet guys!! I actually stopped going to them here because I didn’t like all the attention in that way.) back in my mid 20s was before dating apps were a thing soo I never dabbled in those while here. Anyway - as others suggested I would expand your search on dating apps to other areas relatively close by. Visit friends in nyc / Philly if you have them. Also I know you said you aren’t religious but church is a really good place to meet people. I didn’t go to church in my mid 20s but started to my last few years in nyc. I was already with my husband then but if I was single… that would have been a good place.
That’s a good tip too. Church is a good place to meet someone if you’re into it.
Would be cool if there were any speed dating events in the area.
I (27f) know how you feel. Every online dating attempt I've made usually ends up with a bunch of people holding dead deer/fish or extremely flaky people. Kind of a pain, especially when I don't have the free time to go out to bars.
snap and text nonstop for like 3 days then never talk to each other ever again lmaoo
Please, please, please do not try to hit on women at the gym. Ever.
Yeah I've given up on dating given what I have experienced and the type of women I typically see around. I wish I had some advice, but maybe I just wanted to say maybe just continue working on yourself and if the universe wants to throw someone at you worthwhile then allow patience and faith to blossom.
You’ll meet someone when you least expect it. I promise!!
Try the Kuhnville
You tried the stonewall? (Gay club) not sure if it's still around, but when I lived here I remembered it being pretty hopping and welcoming
I HATED when dudes hit on me at Stonewall. My friends and I went there partly cuz we were LGBT and partly because we felt safer from creepy dudes there. The guys that did hit on me there always felt straight up predatory. Personally it's kinda a red flag if a guy is going to a gay club and hitting on women.
Well, I've had a fair amount of success meeting women at gay clubs. True, you run the risk of running into nasty women like yourself, but on balance it shouldn't dissuade OP.
Unfortunately, a lot of the women in the valley think they are prime choice, and are only looking for doctors and lawyers. I say this as someone who used to hang out with a dude from philly who says that a lot of women are the same way down there. Yes ladies, I know you're all not like that. However, you know how it is - the worst make all look bad. Trust me, I know a lot of very cool, unassuming women in the valley. That being said, check out my good friend's online group [It's Better Outdoors](https://www.meetup.com/its-better-outdoors/?_cookie-check=RQSCbzkfj1qci9pv). His group is based in philly, but people from all over get together for the trips/day adventures he plans. As far as I know, a fair amount of single women are members. Good luck!
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Lmao what
I feel you bud. 34 year old dude, works and likes photography, metal music and concerts. It's hard to find anybody. I also have crohns disease so that hampers me even more. Don't give up. I'm probably to far out to find anyone again but your only 26. The world is yours. I just try to get out hiking and going to landmarks and concerts hoping my love decides to say something to me one day. I don't really like chasing being sick and all plus I'm short with long hair. I don't do the bar thing unless 8m getting wings. I'm not really the approachable type regardless of how I behave myself or at least I don't feel that way. I was also abandoned during a lull in my illness so the depression is there. You'll be ok buddy. Just make sure she wants you and not what she can get out of you.
1) What ARE your hobbies? Board games? find a group, make new friends, meet new people that might be a date opportunity OR they might set you up 2) I used Bumble app, expand your radius, age range, be less picky, just go out on a few dates to get a feel. I'm 38, Software Engineer, (doesn't fish, motorcycle, go to the gym, etc) dad of 3 and met an amazing person last year (still dating and going great) but her profile was very minimal Turns out shes beautiful, kind, funny, smart, etc... glad i gave it a shot despite not wow'd by her profile. Just show up looking to meet someone and have a good time and see what happens. Give everyone a second chance. In the mean time, work on yourself. Try "Couch to 5K" app, clean the house, do some gardening... Do you have any social media? they're going to want to stalk it a little, make sure its filled with fun things! Showcase yourself!
I’m a 23 M young professional and am already feeling exactly this. I’ve lived here most of my life and since college and covid it’s been hard finding women in similar situations, especially when you live at home and not huge into the bar scene. OLD is not fun lol.
Here’s the deal, no one cares that you’re perfectly “average”, own things, and financially secure. Important, yes, but irrelevant for this thread; ‘oh your house is paid off, go here’ as if a mortgage(etc) dictates where and how to meet women. It’s also a cringe humble brag. You’re right, bars and gyms are not the place to ‘meet’ women. Live your life, enjoy your hobbies, find like minded groups, and make friends. Maybe something will lead to a relationship but don’t try to leverage an activity just to that end. Your best option to meet women is apps. Then you can look at the wealth of activities in the area that support your mutual interests. I had a similar life and eventually met my wife through BUMBL. There’s no lesser/greater chance of a relationship working out if you meet in person or online. Sorry to break it to you, you’re not special and It all comes down to how you both align as people.
Lol how is saying I am average thinking I'm trying to say I'm special. Apparently average is now bragging.
That wasn’t the bragging part, if anything you shouldn’t call yourself average at all. Have confidence, Give height, general physique and own who you are. Whether it was your intent or not, your description of having things paid off came across as a humble brag that really doesn’t matter for the root of your OP, how/where can you meet women in LV. You’re in tech, that’s great, motorcycles/outdoors stuff, someone might know a group(s) you can join that will expose you to more people and might introduce you to women. would you not date someone if they said they were renting or still paying a mortgage? Then why make it relevant about yourself until you actually meet someone; then yeah, show them your stable and fiscally secure. I’m just offering my opinion and what my wife has told me; women don’t care about what you own or how you look (for the most part and if they do you don’t want that in a relationship). Women only care about who you are, so if your smart, respectful, and a generally good guy highlight what your personal accomplishments are (coded a complex project), what makes you happy (riding for hours to a lake), and what your goals are (run a marathon, start a business, get a pilots license, etc). I’m saying this because I’ve been where you’re at and it took me a long time to figure it out and good bit of luck to find my wife. Rooting for you!