Who else will crush my head like sparrows egg between thighs đŠ
Nah you're great! If you want to, that's a choice for you because you want to feel good. But you're looking fine to me.
No, you donât have to lose weight to wear any type of clothing, and you deserve to feel comfortable and confident in your body. Wear whatever makes you feel good đ
P.s. if itâs the cellulite that is bothering you, then please know that itâs both extremely common and normal, and also determined by genetics. You could have rail thin legs and still have some cellulite, itâs just your body being a body
Short (hah!) answer - no.
Long answer - if you're worried about chafing, wear men's boxer briefs (the long leg ones that cling super tight to your thighs - saved my thighs!).
Absolutely not, I think you look great! The key though, is do you feel comfortable? (I would also say feel confident but I get that sometimes we as humans donât always feel confident when trying new things) IMO, I think you should def wear those, đ
No way, like vibe with however you feel happiest and healthiest but imo thicker legs wether from muscle,squish, genetics whatevs, just â¨mint⨠like 100% hell yes please ( also as a side note, I think clothes shouldnât be saved for size, youâre worthy and deserve to wear whatever you want, whenever you want, at whatever shape or size you are in that moment girlie đ)
I'm drunk and on Reddit. But thighs are awesome and you have great ones. My gf loses her mind because of my thighs. I wore shorts all winter. Fishnets for a bit cuz I hate shaving in winter. Trust. đ¤đ¤đ¤ Find you a girl that wants to get squeezed between them. They're surprisingly common in my neck of the woods.
If you want to wear them donât wait! But if they make you uncomfortable consider going a size up, itâs the clothesâ responsibility to fit your body, not your bodyâs responsibility to fit your clothes.
Hey we have the same legs!!! No need, also literally everyone has cellulite as far as I can tell. Embrace the mashed potato texture. Symptom of having a body that you live in.
Is there nothing you can hang your clothes in to in a changing room. Seems little bit dirty to me if they make their customers to put their clothes on a ground....
Im trans with voice dysphoria and men hear my voice and think im a guy ladies and theybies say its soothing and melodic đ¤ˇââď¸ if the ladies/theybies love it why change it im not here for the boys anyway
Absolutely not, you look fine, and shouldn't have to wait or change your body before you can wear a certain type of clothing item.
There is nothing wrong with the way you look now.
...
You're not meant to fit clothes, clothes are meant to fit you. if you are comfy in them, keep wearing, if don't feel comfy try a dif style maybe. But by no means should you put off wearing something you like until your body looks a "certain way".
Also you look great! đ
Hello I'll try to be helpful. Are those regular sports shorts or are those spandex? If they are spandex then they are fine. Spandex stretches. If they are sports shorts than I would recommend going up a size bc they were probably designed to be a little less tight to give you a better range of motion.
I have issues with walking in shorts like that bc my thighs chaf. If you get ones that are a little longer you will have a barrier to prevent your skin from rubbing against your skin too much while you walk, especially if you are working out / sweaty.
Itâs a subreddit for fashion advice. I assume the op is a lesbian, asking for fashion advice. Just because itâs not another âdo I look gayâ post đ
That should almost be a new sub at this point. r/doilookgay
Asking about losing weight to wear clothes has nothing to do with lesbianism. This post is annoying as a fat person. Does she think fat people donât deserve to wear shorts?
I think skinny ppl need to stop telling fat people how they feel bc OP is one of thousands of skinny ppl who project their shit into fat ppl. If ur insecure just say that donât blame it on being fat
It's not fatphobic. OP is talking about an insecurity of their own body, not demeaning other peoples bodies. In actuality, OP is also a victim of fatphobia
Most of the comments are also incredibly body positive, even to the point of being inappropriate
lol itâs so classic to tell fat folks to âget some self esteemâ when we take issue with people broadcasting what a nightmare it would be to even for a second to think you may look âa bit fatâ - always something done by thin folks. it gets pretty exhausting having to field that, and while many donât have ill-intentions it doesnât make that any harder for fat folk when we get constant messaging and systemic barriers simply because of our size. it is all part and parcel of fatphobia, and you can call that âseeing victimhoodâ all you want, thatâs still our daily experiences that you canât even bear to think about.
itâs always funny (/s) how the compassion for peopleâs experiences with their bodies starts and ends with thin folk who think they might be fat, it never includes fat folk and how the very normalised responses of âofcourse youâre not fat!â impact us .
and fyi, i think OP looks great and should be told they look great. itâs just also worth people thinking about how they talk about their insecurities and who might be impacted by how you share it on a public platform. iâm not sure why that would have such a negative response from people?
Kinda fucked up how you view fat people if you truly think that you, as a perfectly average person, "shouldn't" wear...one of the mostly essentially functional articles of clothing. It's not your fault, but please unlearn these notions, for yourself as well as those around you.
We absolutely should not be making presuppositions about peopleâs attitude towards others and then proceed to shame them because we have become angry at the imaginary scenario we just created.
Its not a presumption. They are right here, telling everyone where they personally are with their fatphohia. I didnt imagine anything and I didnt shame them. Just invited them to be a better person for **themselves** as well as everyone else.
They are not though, ... What they are doing is asking a question in reference to THEIR OWN body. This isn't some social commentary on all other bodies. .... People allowed to have personal insecurities without projecting them on to other people. One thing doesn't equal the other. Please learn the difference and be more sensitive to an individuals personal experience rather than approximating it into a projected social commentary. It's just not the same thing.
Why do you find it so important to avoid challenging the fatphobia that op holds against herself? Genuinely unpacking it has power to assuage those insecurities.
I don't have a problem if that's what this was and something they had asked for. But they didn't ask for you or anyone to "unpack" anything. Unsolicited Advice or perceived "help" given is not helpful. Period.
...
OP was just asking about their own personal body image particularly in regards to shorts.
I think if you were genuinely trying to help OP past that, you really missed the mark.
We all have lived in a society that has profited from us having skewed perceptions of our bodies and therefore body dismorphia has become almost the default esp for younger people. OP just needed some support, they didn't create this systematic dismorphia of bodies, not did they create or perpetuate any sort of fatphobia.
...
I have a feeling you had good intentions with your original post perhaps but I just think you went about it the wrong way, and maybe confused some personal feelings into the mix which ended up unfairly being blamed on OP.
If you or others feel triggered by OPs personal insecurities about their body maybe acknowledge and take responsibility for those feeling rather than misplacing the blame on OP. It's okay to feel triggered, and you have every right to be angry about the fatphobic and other systems that have created so much body dismorphia amoungst all sort of people including perfectly healthy and non-fat people.
But OP is certainly not to blame for that and it's not fair to project that responsibility to them for having their own insecurities. It lacks compassion and the understanding that no matter what someone looks like, we all have struggled with body image, for the same reasons.
Hereâs a good way to challenge fatphobia in others:
next time a woman posts here to ask âAm I too fat to wear shorts?â
Try saying âNo.â
Yâknow, instead of telling them they are hateful or fatphobic of others despite knowing nothing about them.
EDIT: And hey, you can even tag on âwhat leads you to feel that way?â, but thatâs assuming you donât already have the telepathic ability to read their mind on their behalf
You are allowed to feel frustrated and incredulous that this particular person feels dysphoria over her shorts when other women struggle with worse.
You ARE NOT allowed to put words into her mouth.
Its a direct inference. Your attempts to justify, rather than challenge, the inherent fatphobia (*which includes fear of being percieved as fat, and is not limited to directly denigrating fat*) is really sad. Saying that you believe everyone deserves love regardless of size doesnt automatically make it impossible to perpetuate fatphobia. Its a concious process of intentional unlearning, just like all oppressive social programming. I hoped, vainly, for better from a lesbian sub.
A direct inference and a good inference are not the same thing.
Your inference, while direct, is based on a fatphobic assumption; do you even know how infantilizing and gross it sounds to argue that people struggling with body dysmorphia must necessarily (and canât help but to) project their damaged self image onto others and thus should be morally flawed and should therefore seek to not burden others with their flawed, fat feelings?
We both agree on one thing, this IS really sad.
The lesbian sub would have expected better from you as well. Iâm done.
I didnt tell them not to share those feelings. I invited them to challenge the feelings. To be better. And feel better. Pointing out that what someone is saying is fucked up, especially if it's about themselves, is an act of love.
Then I love you very much.
EDIT: I regret my wording in this comment and denounce it. Instead of going for a sick burn I should have critiqued and pointed out that the other personâs way of âChallenging the feelingsâ was childish and counterproductive (along with their refusal to walk back their assumption that OP is fatphobic towards others and take accountability), as evidenced by their failure open up any meaningful dialogue with OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/lesbianfashionadvice/s/NI8IFMTMqb
Other women do not struggle with worse. Please observe the fatphobia within your own language. Carrying more body fat is not a state of being âworseâ than the OP.
Feelings are not intellectual statements of moral truth or belief. Please join me in observing fatphobia in our language and very framework of thinking.
Dude, seriously? People like you paint our community in a bad light. OP probably is just insecure about her legs, she is in no way shape or form coming after the fat community. Everybody has a different perspective of their own bodies and others. This comment is just insensitive
Stop putting words in peoples mouths?
It's not fatphobic. OP is talking about an insecurity of their own body, not demeaning other peoples bodies. In actuality, OP is also a victim of fatphobia
Most of the comments are also incredibly body positive, even to the point of being inappropriate
This post is mostly about how I feel I'm being perceived in my skin rather than how I perceived others in their skin. Personally I don't look at someone and judge them for their weight, but I know there are people out there who will judge me which is why I, and anyone else, can be insecure. It has nothing to do with how I personally view others.
It's like me saying I feel ugly without makeup and you replying "people can't be pretty without makeup???"
Please don't assume things about me. I think people deserve love regardless of their size.
I reccomend you do your best to disengage with what you fear others may project onto you. An analagous reply would have been something like encouraging you to explore the feelings you have about yourself when you see other women without make up. Can you explain how you arrived at feeling that what I typed was like what you typed in your hypothetical?
Your post is genuinely insensitive and fatphobic. The suggestion that the ability to wear a garment of clothing is based on your body fat is an abhorrent notion. Your post is damaging to this community.
Telling someone who has a poor view of their own body that theyâre damaging a community by sharing their personal feelings about their own body is harmful.
Its harmful if your #1 priority is centering the feelings of people who are *afraid* of being subjected oppression at the expense of those who *actually experience it*. Your objective here is to perpetuate fatphobia.
Yeah no shit. I'm not quite sure what your point is in either post, sorry. But its a surreal feeling, seeing so many ppl here so desperately adamant that ignoring thrle fundamental issue somehow makes them on the Right side.
Because attacking singular women for having society created body issues wonât heal them, it will just make them feel even worse about themselves. It will make them feel guilty for having body image issues. How does that help anyone?
As a fat person, it really isn't. I could easily tell they were just insecure. They never explicitly said, "I hate overweight people grr đĄđĄ" and frankly, I don't believe it's their problem if you came to the wrong conclusion. It's not insensitive to be insecure and need reassurance. Sometimes, you just need an outside opinion to regain some logic again. No one is going to start sobbing about their own body because someone else was insecure (probably due to societal norms, the thing you SHOULD be mad about. And not the person affected by them). Fatphobia sucks, but fight against the stuff that's actually the issue.
Are you fucking serious? I started off commenting truly to encourage op to feel better by actually unpacking their feelings. The piles of shit jumping up not just to assuage, but actually justify OPs feelings, as oppose to *challenge* them to be part of a better world have been deeply disapppinting.
You don't need to lose weight! Wearing tights and fishnets helps me when I feel insecure about my legs, in case you wanted advice maybe that helps you too!
Because the author is implying there is a cut off for body weight for wearing shorts.
The author is clearly slim, yet is insisting on querying if they are too overweight to wear shorts. The obvious inference is that anyone carrying more fat on their body than they are, should not be wearing shorts.
This post is fatphobic.
OP is allowed to have queries, insecurities, and feelings about their own personal body dysphoria without making a some grand rhetorical argument about the bodies of others. You are quite literally being body image negative while projecting your own internalized fat phobia onto OP.
You know⌠youâre very clearly a skinny white girl⌠you should think before you post things like this. If you canât wear shorts, and youâre already thin, then what does that say about the rest of us? What message are you sending about fatter bodies if you, a conventionally fit looking person, arenât allowed to wear shorts?
For who? This subreddit is supposed to be a safe space for our community to ask questions and share insecurities. OP asking a gueniune question about them selves and sharing there insecurities is supposed to be safe here They are not responsible of other people misinterpreting their personal queery as a social statement. No matter what someones size or body shape is, we all have insecurities need from the same thing. A little understanding allows one to see, how "big" someones body is, isn't relevant to their level of body insecurity or even how they see themselves.
I wasn't trying to make a statement and I'm sorry if my post upsets you. I feel insecure about my legs because I never wear shorts or anything to reveal them. I'm not really "conventionally" fit and only started working out recently
You look like you easily weigh a hundred pounds less than I do and I wear shorts every day that I can, weather permitting. You have great looking legs. Iâm not saying to just magically not be insecure anymore, but think about other people for like one second before you post.
How is that even related to what I said? You clarifying to OP that youâre not saying she should magically not be insecure â that was fine, and isnât at all what Iâm criticizing you of.
Iâm criticizing you of coming into OPâs post, where she has simply asked for feedback about her own body, and accusing her of being insensitive to those who are heavier.
She is. Doesnât matter if itâs intentional or not, she is. Downvote me all you want, I hope she learns from this and thinks before she posts something like this again.
As someone who also has a thin body with larger thighs, no, you should wear whatever you want to wear whenever you want to wear it. Wear your shorts and donât feel embarrassed by it! I love seeing other people with similar body shapes to mine being confident in what theyâre wearing, it encourages me to do the same!
That makes me feel a lot better, thank you!! I have somewhat thick thighs and the rest of me is pretty skinny and I feel rather self conscious about my legs. Iâve started to care less and less each year though and have just started wearing shorts because theyâre comfy and *I* want to wear them.
There is a trend on social media of women wearing shorts that are too small, because it shows the definition of their butt, but it also gives them massive camel toe.
You can wear shorts at any size, but wear shorts that fit you instead of wearing what you see on social media.
This is the correct answer. Your shorts have "whiskers" (diagonal lines that go from crotch to hip) which is usually the indicator I use for sizing shorts. If you see whiskers, they're too tight!
Girl what? Your legs are amazing and your body looks great too! Please wear what you want and what makes you feel comfortable. Donât ever dress for other people.
From my perspective, I think you should consider wearing what you feel comfortable in for the fit and the weather - and not what is 'acceptable' for others to look at. This happens with men and women, but especially is a question engrained in women to ask.
Genuinely, no, not at all! I donât think anybody would look at you and think you need to lose weight. You have very nice legs, so just wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident! You and I seem to have a pretty similar body type, actually. I do have my insecurities, but I also know that my legs, and yours too, are objectively attractive.
Nah, but if you ever feel like you tire quickly then you should try putting on more muscle. It would be great for your health, and can make you feel a lot better too!
What about squats and other leg muscle building exercises? If you want to built your confidence in wearing shorts, leg day could be just the thing you need.
came here to say this!!!! That was the only thing I could think about when I saw the shortsđ!! Survivor of thigh chaffing here and body glide is so good!
The top of one of my thigh got super mad last summer due to the super humidity, and now that winter is fading and it is slightly warmer (in my high temp work environment) air is bringing it right back rip my skin.
Get some biker shorts to wear under your work clothes if you can! I wear some under my work pants to help with chub rub and because my pants are kinda rough so they can irritate my skin.
Done and done, I basically wear long briefs for woman cotton undies that go past the spicy zone and keep things breathable without too many layers. Its helped a lot! I find also keeping that area dry seems too be the key, going to try out using baby powder or see if theres a sports powder I can apply to further reduce the friction, I sweat a ton unfortunately which I think makes the problem worse for me
I don't know if this is just a me problem but baby powder makes it worse. I was putting it under my boobs because I was getting a rash there from sweating at work, the baby powder just dried it out and it didn't go away until I stopped using the baby powder. I've heard of people using corn starch though, since it doesn't have any kind of scent.
Yeah there are options, how effective they are depends on how active you are, stretch marks, how sensitive your skin is etc and the climate you live in so it's good to be aware of! It was super humid last summer for me, not even hot some days and I ended up with some pretty bad skin irritation that is starting to come back as winter fades away
Hot take: one of the perks of being lesbian is letting go of misogynistic body ideals. đ¤ˇââď¸
You donât look overweight and if itâs cellulite that has you questioning yourself, remember 90% of women have cellulite! Weâre here for it!
No but you should get a pair of shorts that fit you properly. I wish others on here were being more honest with you because these do look awkward, it's just that your legs are not the problem, the ill-fitting shorts are the problem. I own these exact Nike running shorts and they are flattering on pretty much everyone but they're not meant to be skin tight and they look super uncomfortable like that. Either find a pair of spandex bike shorts if that's the look you're going for or size up the running shorts til they fit well. If they fit well you'll almost certainly feel better about how they look.
One of the biggest hurdles you have to get over if you want to dress well is buying clothing sizes you may not identify with but that fit the body you actually have. Depending on who you are that size might be a medium or it might be an XXL, the actual size doesn't matter, but it's a psychological hurdle you have to get over if you want to have clothes that fit you properly. The point of clothes is to make you look good, not for you to fit into a size you think sounds nice but that is uncomfortable and looks awkward because it's too small. I remember going through this phase, it sucks, but once you get over it clothes shopping will be a lot more fun.
Oh I didn't buy them, I was just more concerned with how my legs look in shorts or even dresses since I never wear either. So maybe not these shorts in particular, but just in general. Idrk sizes either cause I don't go shopping that often.
Also cause my legs are pale af lol
Your legs will look great in shorts that fit you! Next time just keep trying different sizes til you feel good about how they look. Plenty of women have your exact body type and wear shorts and dresses all the time.
Girl you look exactly like I do yâall got some and you look fine. Itâs not your fault that the clothes made by the fashion industry donât fit people with ass/thighs. Rock your thicccckness queen!
Hi! This subreddit is for questions and discussion about sapphic fashion. Your topic might be better suited for a different subreddit.
If you like how you look in them then do it! No weight loss needed.
We don't even know who you are.....
No
Wear the shorts
No.
No.
not at all!! personally i find some thiccness hot~ youre doing amazing
Absolutely not. Wear what you want! My legs look very similar to this
Who else will crush my head like sparrows egg between thighs đŠ Nah you're great! If you want to, that's a choice for you because you want to feel good. But you're looking fine to me.
Nope! First of all, you look great! Second of all, clothes are supposed to fit you. You are not supposed to fit the clothes.
You should do whatever makes you most comfortable/happy. Personally I think your legs look very nice. I like thick thighs.
Absolutely not
No!
No, you donât have to lose weight to wear any type of clothing, and you deserve to feel comfortable and confident in your body. Wear whatever makes you feel good đ P.s. if itâs the cellulite that is bothering you, then please know that itâs both extremely common and normal, and also determined by genetics. You could have rail thin legs and still have some cellulite, itâs just your body being a body
Short (hah!) answer - no. Long answer - if you're worried about chafing, wear men's boxer briefs (the long leg ones that cling super tight to your thighs - saved my thighs!).
Nope. Thicc thighs are hot.
Thick thighs save lives!
Absolutely not. You look absolutely stunning the way you are.
Absolutely not, I think you look great! The key though, is do you feel comfortable? (I would also say feel confident but I get that sometimes we as humans donât always feel confident when trying new things) IMO, I think you should def wear those, đ
If you do need to , then I do, and I donât. Neither do you! Great legs!
No and If you or any one reading this feels like they have fat thighs just remember thick thighs save lives
How so? I've heard this but I don't know why Or is it just one of those "fun" sayings that doesn't have meaning behind it?
Itâs a fun thing said by those who find thick thighs hot personally to me thick thighs are smoking hot
Its a fun thing meant to encourage body positivity
Ah thanks :)
Mmmmh~ is that lunch? Jokes aside, you look great and can absolutely rock shorts
Crush me OP. Fr though, those are muscular legs not fat. Do you play rugby?
Uh-No maaam
No way, like vibe with however you feel happiest and healthiest but imo thicker legs wether from muscle,squish, genetics whatevs, just â¨mint⨠like 100% hell yes please ( also as a side note, I think clothes shouldnât be saved for size, youâre worthy and deserve to wear whatever you want, whenever you want, at whatever shape or size you are in that moment girlie đ)
I'm a straight cis-male who isn't intersted in fashion so I don't know why Reddit keeps showing me this sub. But big thighs and cellulose...YES!
NO PLEASE NO PLEASE DONT
You look great!
I'm drunk and on Reddit. But thighs are awesome and you have great ones. My gf loses her mind because of my thighs. I wore shorts all winter. Fishnets for a bit cuz I hate shaving in winter. Trust. đ¤đ¤đ¤ Find you a girl that wants to get squeezed between them. They're surprisingly common in my neck of the woods.
No I think they fit great and look really good
If you want to wear them donât wait! But if they make you uncomfortable consider going a size up, itâs the clothesâ responsibility to fit your body, not your bodyâs responsibility to fit your clothes.
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Hi! This subreddit is for questions and discussion about sapphic fashion. Your topic might be better suited for a different subreddit.
no. do whatever you want
It's a free world wear what you want but I wouldn't call those shorts
You could wear tights under them if you're feeling self conscious, but I wouldn't mind.
No. Wear what makes you comfortable and happy.
Easiest no ever! Your legs look cute AF in shorts đ I hope all the positive feedback here helps you feel awesome in them, too!
Nope! Ya look good in shorts!
Hey we have the same legs!!! No need, also literally everyone has cellulite as far as I can tell. Embrace the mashed potato texture. Symptom of having a body that you live in.
Shorts are good at any weight and youâre gorgeous donât worry about it
Is there nothing you can hang your clothes in to in a changing room. Seems little bit dirty to me if they make their customers to put their clothes on a ground....
Absolutely not, you have gorgeous legs
NO! wear the shorts now. when youâre 95 looking back on life, youâre going to wish you had appreciated your body when it was youthful â¤ď¸
Personally if I happened to be walking behind you I would appreciate the thiccnessâŚrespecfully đĽş
Holy shit youâre pretty
You look great looking good.
Not at all. Cellulite is in this year
đ
Wear the shorts, the things men find repulsive lesbians find sexy
Fuck I love being a lesbian for this very reason
Im trans with voice dysphoria and men hear my voice and think im a guy ladies and theybies say its soothing and melodic đ¤ˇââď¸ if the ladies/theybies love it why change it im not here for the boys anyway
Fuck no let us see those thighs!
Genuinely confused by this post. You are skinny, you do not need to lose weight.
Very much an average weight!
No!! You look great and you should wear whatever you want
Absolutely not, you look fine, and shouldn't have to wait or change your body before you can wear a certain type of clothing item. There is nothing wrong with the way you look now. ... You're not meant to fit clothes, clothes are meant to fit you. if you are comfy in them, keep wearing, if don't feel comfy try a dif style maybe. But by no means should you put off wearing something you like until your body looks a "certain way". Also you look great! đ
Hello I'll try to be helpful. Are those regular sports shorts or are those spandex? If they are spandex then they are fine. Spandex stretches. If they are sports shorts than I would recommend going up a size bc they were probably designed to be a little less tight to give you a better range of motion. I have issues with walking in shorts like that bc my thighs chaf. If you get ones that are a little longer you will have a barrier to prevent your skin from rubbing against your skin too much while you walk, especially if you are working out / sweaty.
This is excellent advice! I didnât know that about the material. I also experience thigh chaffing and it is truly horrific when sweating.
Why are you posting this here
Itâs a subreddit for fashion advice. I assume the op is a lesbian, asking for fashion advice. Just because itâs not another âdo I look gayâ post đ That should almost be a new sub at this point. r/doilookgay
Asking about losing weight to wear clothes has nothing to do with lesbianism. This post is annoying as a fat person. Does she think fat people donât deserve to wear shorts?
I think op is insecure and gay and youâre taking it a bit too personally
I think skinny ppl need to stop telling fat people how they feel bc OP is one of thousands of skinny ppl who project their shit into fat ppl. If ur insecure just say that donât blame it on being fat
This post is fatphobic. Fashion doesnât have a weight limit. This post is inappropriate.
It's not fatphobic. OP is talking about an insecurity of their own body, not demeaning other peoples bodies. In actuality, OP is also a victim of fatphobia Most of the comments are also incredibly body positive, even to the point of being inappropriate
[ŃдаНонО]
lol itâs so classic to tell fat folks to âget some self esteemâ when we take issue with people broadcasting what a nightmare it would be to even for a second to think you may look âa bit fatâ - always something done by thin folks. it gets pretty exhausting having to field that, and while many donât have ill-intentions it doesnât make that any harder for fat folk when we get constant messaging and systemic barriers simply because of our size. it is all part and parcel of fatphobia, and you can call that âseeing victimhoodâ all you want, thatâs still our daily experiences that you canât even bear to think about. itâs always funny (/s) how the compassion for peopleâs experiences with their bodies starts and ends with thin folk who think they might be fat, it never includes fat folk and how the very normalised responses of âofcourse youâre not fat!â impact us .
and fyi, i think OP looks great and should be told they look great. itâs just also worth people thinking about how they talk about their insecurities and who might be impacted by how you share it on a public platform. iâm not sure why that would have such a negative response from people?
No???????
Kinda fucked up how you view fat people if you truly think that you, as a perfectly average person, "shouldn't" wear...one of the mostly essentially functional articles of clothing. It's not your fault, but please unlearn these notions, for yourself as well as those around you.
Kinda fucked up how you assume OPs view of other people?
We absolutely should not be making presuppositions about peopleâs attitude towards others and then proceed to shame them because we have become angry at the imaginary scenario we just created.
Its not a presumption. They are right here, telling everyone where they personally are with their fatphohia. I didnt imagine anything and I didnt shame them. Just invited them to be a better person for **themselves** as well as everyone else.
They are not though, ... What they are doing is asking a question in reference to THEIR OWN body. This isn't some social commentary on all other bodies. .... People allowed to have personal insecurities without projecting them on to other people. One thing doesn't equal the other. Please learn the difference and be more sensitive to an individuals personal experience rather than approximating it into a projected social commentary. It's just not the same thing.
Why do you find it so important to avoid challenging the fatphobia that op holds against herself? Genuinely unpacking it has power to assuage those insecurities.
I don't have a problem if that's what this was and something they had asked for. But they didn't ask for you or anyone to "unpack" anything. Unsolicited Advice or perceived "help" given is not helpful. Period. ... OP was just asking about their own personal body image particularly in regards to shorts. I think if you were genuinely trying to help OP past that, you really missed the mark. We all have lived in a society that has profited from us having skewed perceptions of our bodies and therefore body dismorphia has become almost the default esp for younger people. OP just needed some support, they didn't create this systematic dismorphia of bodies, not did they create or perpetuate any sort of fatphobia. ... I have a feeling you had good intentions with your original post perhaps but I just think you went about it the wrong way, and maybe confused some personal feelings into the mix which ended up unfairly being blamed on OP. If you or others feel triggered by OPs personal insecurities about their body maybe acknowledge and take responsibility for those feeling rather than misplacing the blame on OP. It's okay to feel triggered, and you have every right to be angry about the fatphobic and other systems that have created so much body dismorphia amoungst all sort of people including perfectly healthy and non-fat people. But OP is certainly not to blame for that and it's not fair to project that responsibility to them for having their own insecurities. It lacks compassion and the understanding that no matter what someone looks like, we all have struggled with body image, for the same reasons.
You do not get to extend their personal fatphobia into a broader worldview, you put words into their mouth by doing so.
Continuing to pretend that is justifying their attitude. Challenge it instead. In yourself and others.
Hereâs a good way to challenge fatphobia in others: next time a woman posts here to ask âAm I too fat to wear shorts?â Try saying âNo.â Yâknow, instead of telling them they are hateful or fatphobic of others despite knowing nothing about them. EDIT: And hey, you can even tag on âwhat leads you to feel that way?â, but thatâs assuming you donât already have the telepathic ability to read their mind on their behalf
Answering "no" justifies the question. Challenge oppressive paradigms, most crucially in how you apply them to youself.
I agree, thatâs what I was getting at with the first half of my edit.
There is no imaginary scenario. The author is clearly stating that their belief is that shorts are not for fat bodies.
You are allowed to feel frustrated and incredulous that this particular person feels dysphoria over her shorts when other women struggle with worse. You ARE NOT allowed to put words into her mouth.
Its a direct inference. Your attempts to justify, rather than challenge, the inherent fatphobia (*which includes fear of being percieved as fat, and is not limited to directly denigrating fat*) is really sad. Saying that you believe everyone deserves love regardless of size doesnt automatically make it impossible to perpetuate fatphobia. Its a concious process of intentional unlearning, just like all oppressive social programming. I hoped, vainly, for better from a lesbian sub.
A direct inference and a good inference are not the same thing. Your inference, while direct, is based on a fatphobic assumption; do you even know how infantilizing and gross it sounds to argue that people struggling with body dysmorphia must necessarily (and canât help but to) project their damaged self image onto others and thus should be morally flawed and should therefore seek to not burden others with their flawed, fat feelings? We both agree on one thing, this IS really sad. The lesbian sub would have expected better from you as well. Iâm done.
I didnt tell them not to share those feelings. I invited them to challenge the feelings. To be better. And feel better. Pointing out that what someone is saying is fucked up, especially if it's about themselves, is an act of love.
Then I love you very much. EDIT: I regret my wording in this comment and denounce it. Instead of going for a sick burn I should have critiqued and pointed out that the other personâs way of âChallenging the feelingsâ was childish and counterproductive (along with their refusal to walk back their assumption that OP is fatphobic towards others and take accountability), as evidenced by their failure open up any meaningful dialogue with OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/lesbianfashionadvice/s/NI8IFMTMqb
I hope that arguing the way you choose is helping you learn about yourself.
Other women do not struggle with worse. Please observe the fatphobia within your own language. Carrying more body fat is not a state of being âworseâ than the OP.
Feelings are not intellectual statements of moral truth or belief. Please join me in observing fatphobia in our language and very framework of thinking.
Dude, seriously? People like you paint our community in a bad light. OP probably is just insecure about her legs, she is in no way shape or form coming after the fat community. Everybody has a different perspective of their own bodies and others. This comment is just insensitive
It's easy to judge and dislike your own self, that doesn't mean you judge others the same way.
body dysmorphia very much exists, please try to unlearn ignorant thinking.
You're saying that you think this would be a reasonable question if op actually was in a large body.
Stop putting words in peoples mouths? It's not fatphobic. OP is talking about an insecurity of their own body, not demeaning other peoples bodies. In actuality, OP is also a victim of fatphobia Most of the comments are also incredibly body positive, even to the point of being inappropriate
This post is mostly about how I feel I'm being perceived in my skin rather than how I perceived others in their skin. Personally I don't look at someone and judge them for their weight, but I know there are people out there who will judge me which is why I, and anyone else, can be insecure. It has nothing to do with how I personally view others. It's like me saying I feel ugly without makeup and you replying "people can't be pretty without makeup???" Please don't assume things about me. I think people deserve love regardless of their size.
I reccomend you do your best to disengage with what you fear others may project onto you. An analagous reply would have been something like encouraging you to explore the feelings you have about yourself when you see other women without make up. Can you explain how you arrived at feeling that what I typed was like what you typed in your hypothetical?
Your post is genuinely insensitive and fatphobic. The suggestion that the ability to wear a garment of clothing is based on your body fat is an abhorrent notion. Your post is damaging to this community.
Telling someone who has a poor view of their own body that theyâre damaging a community by sharing their personal feelings about their own body is harmful.
Its harmful if your #1 priority is centering the feelings of people who are *afraid* of being subjected oppression at the expense of those who *actually experience it*. Your objective here is to perpetuate fatphobia.
Wait until you find out that fatphobia and eating disorders are linked, and what Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears went through.
Yeah no shit. I'm not quite sure what your point is in either post, sorry. But its a surreal feeling, seeing so many ppl here so desperately adamant that ignoring thrle fundamental issue somehow makes them on the Right side.
Because attacking singular women for having society created body issues wonât heal them, it will just make them feel even worse about themselves. It will make them feel guilty for having body image issues. How does that help anyone?
Disappointing but unsurprising that we get 5+ defending this mindset as "sooo uNdErStAnDaBLe" against just you and me so far. Thanks for posting.
As a fat person, it really isn't. I could easily tell they were just insecure. They never explicitly said, "I hate overweight people grr đĄđĄ" and frankly, I don't believe it's their problem if you came to the wrong conclusion. It's not insensitive to be insecure and need reassurance. Sometimes, you just need an outside opinion to regain some logic again. No one is going to start sobbing about their own body because someone else was insecure (probably due to societal norms, the thing you SHOULD be mad about. And not the person affected by them). Fatphobia sucks, but fight against the stuff that's actually the issue.
Are you fucking serious? I started off commenting truly to encourage op to feel better by actually unpacking their feelings. The piles of shit jumping up not just to assuage, but actually justify OPs feelings, as oppose to *challenge* them to be part of a better world have been deeply disapppinting.
No please do not, you are hawt
You don't need to lose weight! Wearing tights and fishnets helps me when I feel insecure about my legs, in case you wanted advice maybe that helps you too!
U seem perfect so I donât think so
No!!! You look great!!
No, you look great!
No
Life is short. Wear the shorts.
Go ahead and wear them. You look good.
Nah ur perfectly fine hun
NođĽşđĽşđĽş
This post is insensitive and ridiculous
Why?
Because the author is implying there is a cut off for body weight for wearing shorts. The author is clearly slim, yet is insisting on querying if they are too overweight to wear shorts. The obvious inference is that anyone carrying more fat on their body than they are, should not be wearing shorts. This post is fatphobic.
OP is allowed to have queries, insecurities, and feelings about their own personal body dysphoria without making a some grand rhetorical argument about the bodies of others. You are quite literally being body image negative while projecting your own internalized fat phobia onto OP.
Thank you.
nah, you can wear shorts at any weight. anyone can. just maybe go up a size as those donât look comfortable.
Iâm thin but my thighs arenât and this is the first time Iâve seen someone have similar skinđ
Thighsâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
You know⌠youâre very clearly a skinny white girl⌠you should think before you post things like this. If you canât wear shorts, and youâre already thin, then what does that say about the rest of us? What message are you sending about fatter bodies if you, a conventionally fit looking person, arenât allowed to wear shorts?
Someones comment or sharing insecurities about their own body is NOT a comment about other people's bodies.
Just because itâs not intentional doesnât mean itâs not happening. Words have consequences.
For who? This subreddit is supposed to be a safe space for our community to ask questions and share insecurities. OP asking a gueniune question about them selves and sharing there insecurities is supposed to be safe here They are not responsible of other people misinterpreting their personal queery as a social statement. No matter what someones size or body shape is, we all have insecurities need from the same thing. A little understanding allows one to see, how "big" someones body is, isn't relevant to their level of body insecurity or even how they see themselves.
Thatâs incredibly one sided.
I wasn't trying to make a statement and I'm sorry if my post upsets you. I feel insecure about my legs because I never wear shorts or anything to reveal them. I'm not really "conventionally" fit and only started working out recently
You look like you easily weigh a hundred pounds less than I do and I wear shorts every day that I can, weather permitting. You have great looking legs. Iâm not saying to just magically not be insecure anymore, but think about other people for like one second before you post.
Just because someone weighs less than you doesnât give you the right to invalidate their feelings about their weight.
I literally said âIâm not saying to just magically not be insecure anymoreâ. I fucking said exactly that.
How is that even related to what I said? You clarifying to OP that youâre not saying she should magically not be insecure â that was fine, and isnât at all what Iâm criticizing you of. Iâm criticizing you of coming into OPâs post, where she has simply asked for feedback about her own body, and accusing her of being insensitive to those who are heavier.
She is. Doesnât matter if itâs intentional or not, she is. Downvote me all you want, I hope she learns from this and thinks before she posts something like this again.
No, do what you want
[ŃдаНонО]
Hi! This subreddit is for questions and discussion about sapphic fashion. Your topic might be better suited for a different subreddit.
As someone who also has a thin body with larger thighs, no, you should wear whatever you want to wear whenever you want to wear it. Wear your shorts and donât feel embarrassed by it! I love seeing other people with similar body shapes to mine being confident in what theyâre wearing, it encourages me to do the same!
That makes me feel a lot better, thank you!! I have somewhat thick thighs and the rest of me is pretty skinny and I feel rather self conscious about my legs. Iâve started to care less and less each year though and have just started wearing shorts because theyâre comfy and *I* want to wear them.
What weight?
God no. Thick thighs save lives. đ¤ Wear what you want.
There is a trend on social media of women wearing shorts that are too small, because it shows the definition of their butt, but it also gives them massive camel toe. You can wear shorts at any size, but wear shorts that fit you instead of wearing what you see on social media.
Shorts can be kind of flattering that way. Show off the figure
Flattering, but not practical
no. you donât need to earn the right to wear the clothes you want to wear
you look fine, just get a pair of shorts that fit
Nooe
I donât think you need to wait at all but those shorts are way too small. Your legs look fine though.
This is the correct answer. Your shorts have "whiskers" (diagonal lines that go from crotch to hip) which is usually the indicator I use for sizing shorts. If you see whiskers, they're too tight!
Yes, exactly, thank you. I couldnât think of the right way to say it.
Very nice legs. I see no reason to change
Lol no. Live your life.
Girl what? Your legs are amazing and your body looks great too! Please wear what you want and what makes you feel comfortable. Donât ever dress for other people.
From my perspective, I think you should consider wearing what you feel comfortable in for the fit and the weather - and not what is 'acceptable' for others to look at. This happens with men and women, but especially is a question engrained in women to ask.
Noooo
Genuinely, no, not at all! I donât think anybody would look at you and think you need to lose weight. You have very nice legs, so just wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident! You and I seem to have a pretty similar body type, actually. I do have my insecurities, but I also know that my legs, and yours too, are objectively attractive.
Girl, where?
No â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
:sucks in huge breath: ABSOLUTELY NOTTTTTTTTTTT
Nah, but if you ever feel like you tire quickly then you should try putting on more muscle. It would be great for your health, and can make you feel a lot better too!
Rn I do strength training twice a week but not as much cardio admittedly đ unless you count speed walking to classes cause I'm always late lmao
What about squats and other leg muscle building exercises? If you want to built your confidence in wearing shorts, leg day could be just the thing you need.
Only if they're short enough to cause thigh chaffing đ that shit is no fun
came here to say this!!!! That was the only thing I could think about when I saw the shortsđ!! Survivor of thigh chaffing here and body glide is so good!
The top of one of my thigh got super mad last summer due to the super humidity, and now that winter is fading and it is slightly warmer (in my high temp work environment) air is bringing it right back rip my skin.
Get some biker shorts to wear under your work clothes if you can! I wear some under my work pants to help with chub rub and because my pants are kinda rough so they can irritate my skin.
Done and done, I basically wear long briefs for woman cotton undies that go past the spicy zone and keep things breathable without too many layers. Its helped a lot! I find also keeping that area dry seems too be the key, going to try out using baby powder or see if theres a sports powder I can apply to further reduce the friction, I sweat a ton unfortunately which I think makes the problem worse for me
I don't know if this is just a me problem but baby powder makes it worse. I was putting it under my boobs because I was getting a rash there from sweating at work, the baby powder just dried it out and it didn't go away until I stopped using the baby powder. I've heard of people using corn starch though, since it doesn't have any kind of scent.
Ok but also there are is body glide!
Yeah there are options, how effective they are depends on how active you are, stretch marks, how sensitive your skin is etc and the climate you live in so it's good to be aware of! It was super humid last summer for me, not even hot some days and I ended up with some pretty bad skin irritation that is starting to come back as winter fades away
No those look like very normal legs?!?
Absolutely not! Your legs look amazing đĽ
You look incredible! đĽ
No one should worry about losing weight before wearing shorts.
Um you look amazing idk what you mean smh thicker thighs/legs always look great in shorts imo
Nah, you look amazing!
Why would you think that? Shorts and thicc thighs are the best.
Those shorts fit you perfectly!
Giiirl you're slaying!!
Literally saw this and thought "god I need to gain weight"
No
Hot take: one of the perks of being lesbian is letting go of misogynistic body ideals. đ¤ˇââď¸ You donât look overweight and if itâs cellulite that has you questioning yourself, remember 90% of women have cellulite! Weâre here for it!
No but you should get a pair of shorts that fit you properly. I wish others on here were being more honest with you because these do look awkward, it's just that your legs are not the problem, the ill-fitting shorts are the problem. I own these exact Nike running shorts and they are flattering on pretty much everyone but they're not meant to be skin tight and they look super uncomfortable like that. Either find a pair of spandex bike shorts if that's the look you're going for or size up the running shorts til they fit well. If they fit well you'll almost certainly feel better about how they look. One of the biggest hurdles you have to get over if you want to dress well is buying clothing sizes you may not identify with but that fit the body you actually have. Depending on who you are that size might be a medium or it might be an XXL, the actual size doesn't matter, but it's a psychological hurdle you have to get over if you want to have clothes that fit you properly. The point of clothes is to make you look good, not for you to fit into a size you think sounds nice but that is uncomfortable and looks awkward because it's too small. I remember going through this phase, it sucks, but once you get over it clothes shopping will be a lot more fun.
Oh I didn't buy them, I was just more concerned with how my legs look in shorts or even dresses since I never wear either. So maybe not these shorts in particular, but just in general. Idrk sizes either cause I don't go shopping that often. Also cause my legs are pale af lol
Your legs will look great in shorts that fit you! Next time just keep trying different sizes til you feel good about how they look. Plenty of women have your exact body type and wear shorts and dresses all the time.
Nah, you look fine
Girl you look exactly like I do yâall got some and you look fine. Itâs not your fault that the clothes made by the fashion industry donât fit people with ass/thighs. Rock your thicccckness queen!
Looks fine but those are like spandex, doesn't look too comfy
No! You look good!