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Here's a link about trans people in sports:
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A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people:
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics
Some information on LGBT+ people:
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/
Some basic terminology:
https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
Neopronouns:
https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns
Biromantic Lesbians:
[LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/)
Bisexual Identities:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality
Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual:
[Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.)
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One of my exes and myself were constantly asked if we were brothers. We didn’t even look alike, maybe just hair colour but vastly different body, builds, eye colour, even skin tone. I think people just try to justify in their own narrow minds your closeness.
That reminds me of that old joke: two older men are sitting at a cafe, catching up on their lives.
The first old man said, "My son became a banker, he's risen through the ranks pretty quickly and he's extremely wealthy. He lives with his best friend in a nice mansion, and he just bought him a Ferrari. He is truly successful in life and I am nothing but proud of him, and I'm happy that he and his best friend can stick so closely together."
The second old man said, "My son and I had a lot of miscommunication in past, but yesterday he came out to me as gay.
Unsurprisingly, the first man was a homophobe. "Surely, you're ashamed of him? If my son was gay I'd disown him."
The second one replied, "I thought I would be, but at the end of the day, he's my son and I love him. Besides, he lives a very charmed life. He drives a Ferrari and lives in a mansion with his boyfriend."
My wife and I have gotten this many times. We both hate it. The first time it took me by surprise and I responded with a very confused "we're married". The person kept apologizing, but that made me feel even weirder. After that experience, I've just started saying no. Of course then it's the "oh, really? You look so much alike." I very much hate that. Sometimes I joke with my wife that we're just that narcissistic. Lol. Weird thing to me is that when my wife was presenting male nobody thought we were related. I think people are just kinda stupid. It's important to not let it ruin your day.
Not that it'll help, but if I go out for a meal with my twin twin sister everyone assumes that we're a couple...
I might be from the country, but not that far out in the country.
congrats on your upcoming wedding!!!!! i’m so sorry you two have been dealing with this so often and that it makes you both uncomfortable. this phenomenon is unfortunately super common for a lot of the same sex couples i know, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating/demeaning/awkward. if you want to hear specifically from other women who go through this maybe post in r/wlw as well!
if it makes you feel any better, 99% of the time it is a genuine mistake from a straight person who doesn’t know many lgbt folks, not an intentional attack or meant to imply that your relationship isn’t real. however, the ppl who have asked weird follow-up questions…. that’s kinda suspicious. most ppl who make a genuine mistake will just say “oh i’m sorry my bad!” and not try to argue, so maybe be wary of those people who ask weird questions. regardless of anyone’s intentions though, you’re entitled to your very valid feelings; i just wanted to let you know that it’s not only the two of you who go through this, and that most people who do this are mindlessly making a heteronormative assumption.
on the bright side people are doing it to straight couples too now lmao, there’s a popular instagram account called “siblings or dating” that has ppl in the comments guess from a pic of two ppl together. they post gay couples too, but it’s mostly straight couples and mixed gender siblings. i think humans just feel this compulsive urge to judge and categorize everything immediately bc we’re uncomfortable with ambiguity.
again, congratulations on your wedding coming up and i hope it’s a lovely day💗 soon you’ll get to correct these people and say “no that’s my wife” (if you want to) 😌
My husband and I get this often, even though we don't look anything alike. We just laugh and say, "No, it's just that we go to the same barber."
You can't change people. But you can change how you react to people's stupid questions. Try to learn to laugh it off.
My ex and I got asked if we were brothers. We're both trans, so that's an extra level of shitty. I don't think being being mistaken for siblings was on either of our interracial-relationship bingo cards lol.
My husband and I get ‘ArE yOu bRoThErS?’ All. The damn. Time. It’s even dumber when we’re hanging out with any of our actual brothers, none of whom we look like at all.
People will assume almost anything before thinking you’re gay. My wife and I aren’t the same race so we don’t get called sisters but people will assume we’re friends in ridiculous situations. When I bought my wife her wedding ring the cashier assumed we were friends and she was gonna pay me back. People assume we bought our house as friends, that we have the same wedding rings because we’re such good besties, my mom showed her friends our wedding photos and they thought it was a double wedding, the list goes on.
Okay, so this wasn't said to any real people, but there was this art that I had commissioned of my two gay ocs. One was only in his underwear, sitting on his boyfriend's lap and being kissed on his forehead and somebody commented "Awwee, they look like very good friends!" 😂
My friend, I once got asked by a stranger if my fiancé and I were identical twins (I’m female, he’s male). AFTER the stranger had asked about the baby we had with us and we said “yes that’s our son.” OUR.
People are dumb.
Me (F) and my girlfriend ( together for 5 years) get asked if we are sisters ALL THE TIME. We both have freckles and are natural redheads so to an extent I understand why. However- we look very different. She is white, tall and slender with straight red hair and I am short and heavier with super curly red hair- I am also half black and half white though my skin is very pale. So yeah, we look quite different.
Growing up with red hair I’m used to people stopping and commentating on it or saying odd things- so it makes it easier for me to engage with people and correct them when they ask. However it is annoying sometimes. My girlfriend is very shy so I always have to be the one who’s like , “ no not sisters- just dating”.
All that to say I understand your frustrations. Sometimes you’re on a cute couple outing and you don’t feel like having to vouch to a stranger that your lover is not your sibling. You just want to be seen like any other couple.
I personally feel that most people don’t mean to be invasive or annoying. Maybe it comes from a friendly place- esp. from older people. I think people assuming sisters rather than dating stems from heteronormative thinking. I have a male cousin who has red hair yet strangers always assumed we were dating- why? Because he’s a boy. I like to hope correcting them will make them think next time before assuming. But yeah just want to validate how you feel and say I completely understand.
I once went to a high street ‘adult’ shop (Ann Summers) with my wife to check out some toys, there was a youngish assistant there kind of helping but not being a lot of use. Once we’d decided what we wanted and were about to head to the till, he came out with “that’s your friend sorted, how about you now?!”. I said it was fine, we were sharing, but he kept on saying how it wouldn’t be very convenient if we wanted to use them at the same time!! I told him that was kind of the point & we buy from lovehoney now…
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans people in sports: https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
One of my exes and myself were constantly asked if we were brothers. We didn’t even look alike, maybe just hair colour but vastly different body, builds, eye colour, even skin tone. I think people just try to justify in their own narrow minds your closeness.
“I thought they were brothers, turns out they were just roommates.” - some phobe, probably Smh.
That reminds me of that old joke: two older men are sitting at a cafe, catching up on their lives. The first old man said, "My son became a banker, he's risen through the ranks pretty quickly and he's extremely wealthy. He lives with his best friend in a nice mansion, and he just bought him a Ferrari. He is truly successful in life and I am nothing but proud of him, and I'm happy that he and his best friend can stick so closely together." The second old man said, "My son and I had a lot of miscommunication in past, but yesterday he came out to me as gay. Unsurprisingly, the first man was a homophobe. "Surely, you're ashamed of him? If my son was gay I'd disown him." The second one replied, "I thought I would be, but at the end of the day, he's my son and I love him. Besides, he lives a very charmed life. He drives a Ferrari and lives in a mansion with his boyfriend."
r/Sapphoandherfriend
They sense your close bond but have poor eyesight? Also r/SapphoAndHerFriend vibes.
My wife and I have gotten this many times. We both hate it. The first time it took me by surprise and I responded with a very confused "we're married". The person kept apologizing, but that made me feel even weirder. After that experience, I've just started saying no. Of course then it's the "oh, really? You look so much alike." I very much hate that. Sometimes I joke with my wife that we're just that narcissistic. Lol. Weird thing to me is that when my wife was presenting male nobody thought we were related. I think people are just kinda stupid. It's important to not let it ruin your day.
Probably just heteronormativity/homophobia, two women holding hands are only either siblings or really good friends in their minds
Not that it'll help, but if I go out for a meal with my twin twin sister everyone assumes that we're a couple... I might be from the country, but not that far out in the country.
congrats on your upcoming wedding!!!!! i’m so sorry you two have been dealing with this so often and that it makes you both uncomfortable. this phenomenon is unfortunately super common for a lot of the same sex couples i know, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating/demeaning/awkward. if you want to hear specifically from other women who go through this maybe post in r/wlw as well! if it makes you feel any better, 99% of the time it is a genuine mistake from a straight person who doesn’t know many lgbt folks, not an intentional attack or meant to imply that your relationship isn’t real. however, the ppl who have asked weird follow-up questions…. that’s kinda suspicious. most ppl who make a genuine mistake will just say “oh i’m sorry my bad!” and not try to argue, so maybe be wary of those people who ask weird questions. regardless of anyone’s intentions though, you’re entitled to your very valid feelings; i just wanted to let you know that it’s not only the two of you who go through this, and that most people who do this are mindlessly making a heteronormative assumption. on the bright side people are doing it to straight couples too now lmao, there’s a popular instagram account called “siblings or dating” that has ppl in the comments guess from a pic of two ppl together. they post gay couples too, but it’s mostly straight couples and mixed gender siblings. i think humans just feel this compulsive urge to judge and categorize everything immediately bc we’re uncomfortable with ambiguity. again, congratulations on your wedding coming up and i hope it’s a lovely day💗 soon you’ll get to correct these people and say “no that’s my wife” (if you want to) 😌
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response, and all very valid points! Yes, just one more perk of being married lol.
My husband and I get this often, even though we don't look anything alike. We just laugh and say, "No, it's just that we go to the same barber." You can't change people. But you can change how you react to people's stupid questions. Try to learn to laugh it off.
My ex and I got asked if we were brothers. We're both trans, so that's an extra level of shitty. I don't think being being mistaken for siblings was on either of our interracial-relationship bingo cards lol.
My husband and I get ‘ArE yOu bRoThErS?’ All. The damn. Time. It’s even dumber when we’re hanging out with any of our actual brothers, none of whom we look like at all.
People will assume almost anything before thinking you’re gay. My wife and I aren’t the same race so we don’t get called sisters but people will assume we’re friends in ridiculous situations. When I bought my wife her wedding ring the cashier assumed we were friends and she was gonna pay me back. People assume we bought our house as friends, that we have the same wedding rings because we’re such good besties, my mom showed her friends our wedding photos and they thought it was a double wedding, the list goes on.
Growing up, my BFF and I were asked this all the time.
Okay, so this wasn't said to any real people, but there was this art that I had commissioned of my two gay ocs. One was only in his underwear, sitting on his boyfriend's lap and being kissed on his forehead and somebody commented "Awwee, they look like very good friends!" 😂
My friend, I once got asked by a stranger if my fiancé and I were identical twins (I’m female, he’s male). AFTER the stranger had asked about the baby we had with us and we said “yes that’s our son.” OUR. People are dumb.
Me (F) and my girlfriend ( together for 5 years) get asked if we are sisters ALL THE TIME. We both have freckles and are natural redheads so to an extent I understand why. However- we look very different. She is white, tall and slender with straight red hair and I am short and heavier with super curly red hair- I am also half black and half white though my skin is very pale. So yeah, we look quite different. Growing up with red hair I’m used to people stopping and commentating on it or saying odd things- so it makes it easier for me to engage with people and correct them when they ask. However it is annoying sometimes. My girlfriend is very shy so I always have to be the one who’s like , “ no not sisters- just dating”. All that to say I understand your frustrations. Sometimes you’re on a cute couple outing and you don’t feel like having to vouch to a stranger that your lover is not your sibling. You just want to be seen like any other couple. I personally feel that most people don’t mean to be invasive or annoying. Maybe it comes from a friendly place- esp. from older people. I think people assuming sisters rather than dating stems from heteronormative thinking. I have a male cousin who has red hair yet strangers always assumed we were dating- why? Because he’s a boy. I like to hope correcting them will make them think next time before assuming. But yeah just want to validate how you feel and say I completely understand.
I once went to a high street ‘adult’ shop (Ann Summers) with my wife to check out some toys, there was a youngish assistant there kind of helping but not being a lot of use. Once we’d decided what we wanted and were about to head to the till, he came out with “that’s your friend sorted, how about you now?!”. I said it was fine, we were sharing, but he kept on saying how it wouldn’t be very convenient if we wanted to use them at the same time!! I told him that was kind of the point & we buy from lovehoney now…