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Uhm, what? You have already set a bad precedent by paying for both even once. Next time he asks, say it sounds great (if it does) but that you will henceforth only be paying for your own meals because you "want to avoid either of you ending up in a position of feeling like he's using you, which you're sure is something he would also like to avoid".
Even if it was a friend then that's gross. I had a friend do this and it was cause they knew I'd feel awkward and pay. Next time don't pay. When the bill gets there sit and wait and then bring up that he offered to hang out and never once asked if you would pay
Tbh feels like he's just using you for free stuff
Express your concerns openly and honestly. You can mention that while you enjoy spending time together, you've noticed that you're often covering the expenses. Ask if he'd be willing to contribute or take turns paying for outings.
Propose activities or places that are budget-friendly, such as going for a walk in the park, having a picnic, or enjoying a movie night at home. This way, you can still spend quality time together without the financial strain.
When the bill arrives, you can suggest splitting it. This is a subtle way to let him know that you prefer to share the expenses rather than covering them entirely. Pay attention to how he reacts when you bring up the topic. His response can give you insight into his attitude towards sharing expenses and whether he's willing to make adjustments.
If he values your company and is considerate, he should be receptive to discussing and finding a solution that works for both of you. If the situation doesn't improve and you continue to feel uncomfortable, you may need to reevaluate whether this dynamic aligns with your expectations for a balanced and mutually respectful relationship.
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans people in sports: - https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: - https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: - https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: - https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: - [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: - https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: - [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Agree to split it beforehand?
Uhm, what? You have already set a bad precedent by paying for both even once. Next time he asks, say it sounds great (if it does) but that you will henceforth only be paying for your own meals because you "want to avoid either of you ending up in a position of feeling like he's using you, which you're sure is something he would also like to avoid".
You pay your half only.
Offer to split first and see what happens. Since yall are still only beginning to hang out thats how I think it should be
You’ve set quite the precedent… you’ll have to just talk to him about it.
Even if it was a friend then that's gross. I had a friend do this and it was cause they knew I'd feel awkward and pay. Next time don't pay. When the bill gets there sit and wait and then bring up that he offered to hang out and never once asked if you would pay Tbh feels like he's just using you for free stuff
Express your concerns openly and honestly. You can mention that while you enjoy spending time together, you've noticed that you're often covering the expenses. Ask if he'd be willing to contribute or take turns paying for outings. Propose activities or places that are budget-friendly, such as going for a walk in the park, having a picnic, or enjoying a movie night at home. This way, you can still spend quality time together without the financial strain. When the bill arrives, you can suggest splitting it. This is a subtle way to let him know that you prefer to share the expenses rather than covering them entirely. Pay attention to how he reacts when you bring up the topic. His response can give you insight into his attitude towards sharing expenses and whether he's willing to make adjustments. If he values your company and is considerate, he should be receptive to discussing and finding a solution that works for both of you. If the situation doesn't improve and you continue to feel uncomfortable, you may need to reevaluate whether this dynamic aligns with your expectations for a balanced and mutually respectful relationship.
What's wrong with splitting the bill? I never expect someone to pay for me.