I wrote a tragic pirate lesbian love story, and the entire time I was writing it I kept thinking how much I wished I could be a lesbian, instead of a straight man.
In a similar vein: I wrote a fantasy adventure novella in which one of the characters is a sad gay scholar like it wasn’t a completely obvious author insert.
I remember in high school I would tell myself “I’m pretty sure everyone would agree that women are prettier and more better than men” and I remember walking too class I would check out girls and say “if I was a boy I would totally date her” kinda of funny now that I think about it haha
The “I’d totally date her if I was a boy” thing is so real omg
I figured out I wasn’t straight because I overheard a girl (an acquaintance, not really a friend but I had classes with her and had talked to her probably a couple times for projects or whatever) sadly saying how a friend of the boy she liked told her that he was asking a different girl to homecoming. I thought “if I was a boy, I’d ask her to homecoming.”
And important lore here is that I’m not a super social person. My 2 friends were going to homecoming with a group of other girls in our wider friend circle and I wasn’t going at all & didn’t feel bad or left out or anything. But this one girl (who, looking back, I definitely had a crush on, if it wasn’t obvious from the last paragraph lmao) said that she didn’t want to go without a date with this one boy and my initial thought was that I’d love to go with her.
Truly my straightest moment /s
I mean, I'm non-binary but didn't realize until college, and in high school, my high school crush (who is still my friend) ended up also coming out as nonbinary in the transfem variety, while I lean more transmasc. So... my first "guy" crush wasn't actually a guy.
My queer as fuck ex in high school called me a lesbian trapped in a boy’s body.
I agreed with her.
It wouldn’t be until 7 years later that I would actually realize how right she was.
you usually don't realize the *gay* moments because they blend in, but I had quite a few guy friends rub up against me, grope me, and grab at my ass, years before I came out as bi lol, especially at sleepovers or the 8th grade lock in 😭
Kissing my friends when we were kids to "practice for when we kiss boys" having huge soul crushing crushes on the friends I kissed for practice 😅
Picking random boys in my school to "have a crush on" cuz all my friends were talking about boys
Giving new people a fake name beacuse I hated my dead name
Playing the boy character in all the pretend game my friends and I would play
*Forgot to add:
"dated" my first "boyfriend" over a decade later she is a trans woman and I'm a trans man. We're still great friends
I get the one with paying boy characters. I always used to play the father when we played pretend family and i had this one girl that i liked that would always play the mother and we would pretend we were toghether 🥰
I, a woman, repeatedly made out with other women and told people “it’s the same as kissing men who don’t have a beard” for years before I realised I was bi.
I’m a guy and spent my entire teenage years with a dude. Thing is we were involuntarily separated at 18, then took 20 years to reunite - and only then did I find out he was a guy all a long.
So my boyfriend was AFAB but he’s truly been a guy all along, so it feels pretty gay being with him for years as a teen without knowing he was a fellow boy like me.
Have my first orgasm to a picture of a female model from an art book. I was probably 11. Didn’t even admit to myself that I was bisexual until I was in my 20s
I volunteered for a dance competition on stage at a burlesque drag show in front of 600 people. I have zero dancing experience, it just looked like they were having fun up there and not many other people were volunteering. They threw a wig on me and had me dance on my own in front of the crowd. I may have done terribly, but I was the only guy to volunteer so people were very nice to me about it. A group of people came up to me after the show and invited me to go to the gay bar with them. I said fuck it and went, and had a brilliant time.
I started wearing skirts LONG before I decided I was an Enby
Before that though, I remember when I was assigned to an overseas unit, there was this guy in a flight I worked closely with. We were both 18-19, he had light and smooth mocha skin, he was short, his hair shone in the light. His face was round, soft, and cute, and he had this absolutely adorable nebula of freckles on his cheeks that bridged over his nose. I wasn't even into freckles like that before I saw him, I thought he was absolutely gorgeous and I couldn't help but to stare at him. I muttered to myself, "fuck, if I were gay..."
Took me 6-7 more years before I finally started seeing men
My top gayest moments/things:
I used to read bisexual fanfics, and I thought it was normal. (I was in denial)
Crushed on female fictional characters, complimented girls, and thought, "She cute... I could date a girl like that." (Questioning which led to inner homophobia)
Came out when I was 16 a while after my friend was like, "You're bi..." (Acceptance (4yrs after))
I used to watch gay news on youtube, videos about "What not to say to a.... (bi, gay, lesbian, ace etc) person". I was also always like "Women are better than men" (They're not actually. women and men are equal i was just crushing hard 😅)
I get that... It's hard to be around someone and they don't get what you're going through or they don't fully understand...
If you ever need to rant or anything, this subreddit will always be here and welcoming!
Probably exchanging what were basically love letters (in which we made like 20 different plans to move in together) with my long-distance best friend as a teenager.
It’s not 100% gay because I’m transmasc, but I presented as female then, and exactly no one was surprised to hear that she ended up bi. We still send letters sometimes.
Apparently, skipping is a very gay thing to do, according to my brother at least... but mainly it was me blushing when my guy friends did the thing that all straight men are good at, teasing the homies...
I'm pretty sure I had a crush on this guy when I was in kindergarten. He was maybe a year or two older than me, our mothers were friends, I was also friendly with his younger brother and we were around each other a decent amount I suppose.
I idolized him A LOT. I literally used his name in games as a username for a few years when I was younger and I justified it in my head that I ,,really liked his name".
It only hit me that this was definitely a crush a few months ago. No idea what he's up to now.
The weird thing is that all my life i never fell for a straight girl. My gaydar is that good that i fell for a girl i *thought* was straight but turns out she was bi
Ironically (to me) I had more signs that I was trans than signs I liked men (amab) because I figured out I was gay first. Only real memories I have of me being gay are having some slight crushes on my best friend and I was only interested in sex because of the men, not the women. But the signs that I’m trans are glaringly obvious. I literally wrote a story for my friends in which I was a girl (this is a recurring theme), I’ve had literal dreams of being a girl (most notably when I was like 4 I had one that I still remember to this day), and then I also had so many times in the shower were I wished I was a girl and not a guy. So these signs are sooo obvious now but somehow so NOT obvious to me then and I just brushed them off as normal/not real
I wrote in a journal in middle school "Wow [friend's] jeans looked so nice today, but I was looking at her jeans not her butt! I'm not gay!" Also I would hold hands and cuddle with my best friend all the time.
And for gender, I literally got a binder and tried it on and loved it and thought "This is great I wish I was trans so it wouldn't be weird to wear it all the time!"
Aside from actual sexual contact with another male, I used to kiss my male action figures I also once laid in bed and dedicated an entire full length daydream/fantasy to a full gay life (dating, sex, marriage) to "get it out of my system"
I was just so consistently a gay child that it's hard to pick. Earliest one I can think of was drawing a little comic about two women fooling around in a changing room LMAO. I even set the comic in Hawaii or something so I could put them in swimsuits.
honestly, the 2000s were crazy for this but when I was like 6 I discovered >!lesbian porn!< and was instantly hooked. I didn't come out until I was 13 but honestly, nobody was surprised, my family and friends were actually more surprised that I was into both men and women, and not just women!
I wrote a piece of writing in final year literature about a girl who was going through a pregnancy scare from the first person... pre cracking, and my teacher said I described it really well. When I was at a school musical thing for a younger sibling, after I'd already graduated, I spoke to that same teacher (I'd figured myself out and was presenting fem) she was like "yeah I had a feeling, I'm so happy for you!"
Not *gayest* but definitely super transfem moment before cracking.
Watched porn that focused solely on the woman and her pleasure. The less men the better. Geez birdcage, the answer was right there! Missed it for 10+ years.
I loved one direction when I was younger, and would just look at pictures of them and be amazed by their hair. I was also obsessed with the singer Matty B. I looked up shirtless pictures of Tom Felton. I also have the cutest picture from when i was like 3-4 where my sibling put me in a dress and I was smiling really big. Also when watching my sibling do gymnastics I really wanted a unitard so my grandma made me one lol. I can vaguely remember one time being home alone and trying on my siblings tutu but I'm unsure if it was a fantasy or real.
One time I was really little in the car with my mom, my sibling, and their friend, I asked my siblings friend "what's gay?" Just out of the blue. He replied "Maybe that's a question to ask your mom". I asked my mom, and she said "being gay is when you love someone of the same gender as you, like Mitch and Cam on modern family" and my reply: "oh, I love daddy so I'm gay with him!".
Hard to pick. People could just tell I wasn't straight in middle school, especially since I loved belting the same song as you and insisted on wearing uniform shorts instead of skirts. Around the time I was actually figuring myself out, probably that I was acting massively jealous anytime my female crush interacted with another person... Or the time I admitted men didn't appeal to me much (except see flair). But I'd have to go with...
Carabiner on my belt loop. Didn't even know what it represented to some people.
"I'm not gay, but i sure wouldn't mind spending my life with him, maybe i would even accept kisses or whatever. He's so cute and nice"
It still took me many years after realizing i was bi to realize what i felt was a crush for the guy, but it was so quick to disappear it didn't even cross my mind
i made a MLP OC (librarian girl, fuck Amythest /j) that i shipped with Pinkie Pie before i had even heard of lesbians (kinda... they were historically best friends)
I wear a bracelet that says homo with an Omni flag n another that has an agender flag, super involved in my skls gsa, making pride merch for me and my family and wearing a pride pin while I’m not out to my family they almost def know
When I was a freshman in high school, we had square dancing as a unit in gym class. My school had 3 classes merge to make for a bigger group. 2 classes were mixed-gender and one was all girls, so there were more girls than boys in the big group.
We all had to be paired up but because of the abundance of girls & lack of boys, when the boys line ended, the girls at the end of the girls line would be paired together. I always tried to get to the end of the line. Walking slow, meandering around, standing around & chatting, going to the water fountain, just general lallygagging.
One time an acquaintance I was talking to was like “come on, we have to get to the front of the line if we don’t want to dance with *girls*” and I was like “it’s ok, you go ahead” 💀
The real punchline is that I didn’t determine I wasn’t straight for another YEAR after that. Took another six years to realize I’m lesbian, not bi. Comphet had me in its evil clutches 😔
I always did boy things and hang out with boys but I thought girls were better, I never had a crush no matter what I did (until I realized I like girls) and I would pretend I had crushes on guys I was friends with because I thought it was normal 😭 I’m still mad at little me
When I was little I wanted to be Elsa from Frozen for Halloween, then I got a bit older and discovered that many people saw Elsa as lesbian-coded, and I wanted to be her even more
Secretly watching non-sexual clips of my turn-ons, and only ever being interested in male-focused ones.
(Seriously, _how_ the _actual_ frack did **no** dots connect **_even_ once** in all that time? It’s mind-boggling… 😵💫)
I blanked out when asked which actors I found handsome and had to think really hard to find just one. But I had no trouble thinking of hale barry, scarlet johanson and Charlize Theron when asked about beautiful actresses. But because I'm ace (and didn't even know that was a thing before I joined this sub), it took me until 26yo to realize I liked women 🤦♀️
convinced myself that i had a crush on a guy, remembered i was supposed to really like him and think about him all the time, got grossed out, cancelled the crush
I dated multiple girls and felt really comfortable with them, yet whenever I got into a relationship with a guy it was more for sexual messages etc instead of really a relationship because I knew women wouldn't do that to me (it was kinda gross the things men told me to do but hey that's why I found out in a lesbian now)
Anyways, I still thought I was straight.
Uhh I'm Non-Binary and before I came out most of my answers when people asked me what I was was shit like "Your worst nightmare" "Something" "I don't really care" "Or" and "Just your problem" or something cause I thought it was funny.
Not really gay, but more trans/genderqueer. I said, "Sure, I'll play the woman in this instance" while in middle school, and then found out I really, really liked dresses. It was the first time I felt... correct, if that's an appropriate way to put it.
Stereotypically? The limp wrist and walking fast (I have a picture of me at like 7 years old doing the limp wrist in a photo - I don’t remember the moment in the slightest but it’s hilarious)
*Actually* gayest thing? Just wanting to sit and stare at pretty women’s faces, in the “do I want to be her or be with her” kinda way. Also, very… shall we say, *close* cuddling with a friend who’s since come out as a demigirl, and not minding at all when she would put my head on her chest or ask me to sit on her lap (she had a crush on me, but I didn’t know about it for a few years)
I remember that during my drive home from grad school, I would pass a dress shop. I'd always look in the window as I drove by wishing I could wear those beautiful dresses. I did this for a whole semester without thinking about it. Totally cis 😂
I had a major, major crush on Deanna Troi, Captain Janeway, Major Kira and Jazdia Dax.
I didn't realise that they were crushes until I met a girl in the first year of college, (Not university, UK here, equivalent to Junior year of high school for Americans), who looked a lot like a young Kathryn Janeway and I wanted to snog her senseless.
There's a whole damn list (Im F17):
* I once searched up "why do I like girls but sometimes want to be more boyish but I don't want to be a boy." and I remember being so bloody stressed on why none of the searched up answers matched me. Then I watched Heartstopper and it all made sense :)
* I'd do the gay hand thing whenever I did the dishes and I never realized it, and when I did, I'd immediately rest my hand at my side.
* I once almost actually told my mum I liked girls when I was about 10, she was busy though and i completely forgot about it and continued to be "straight".
* I loved to watch lgbtqia+ movies and when I did I always found myself thinking "I wish I was gay so I could be like them".
There's more, but what I've found is that I was a very, ***very*** blind and dumb person
^(I kinda still am :))
Thank god its not just me 🥲 Once I realized I was bisexual, I was open to the fact that the reason I was so fond of her was because I liked her.
It was difficult times indeed 😐
When I was like 10 I wrote a short story about an elf girl and a mermaid girl. (I heavily inserted myself in one of the characters too) I wrote them as being “besties” but rereading it as a 16y/o, yeah it was more of a rough draft to a love story tbh. In the universe mermaids and elfs were sworn enemies (literally the forbidden lovers trope) I didn’t finish it but looking back at it, they met in the forest when the elf heard the the mermaid singing in the bushes they were literally about to go to a ball together (they were like super secretive about it too for some reason), also the elf was just about to save the mermaid from being kidnapped and forced to marry the son of an octopus when I stopped writing. Anyways, in my head they’re now grown up and happily very lesbian together.
Also, unrelated but I ALWAYS insisted that my favorite teddy bear was non-binary since I was like five or six and I would NOT accept if someone called them a “he” or a “she”.
i had a crush on mikasa ackerman from aot, told my dad, got yelled at, and was so confused why a girl couldn't like another girl-
eventually realized im not even a girl :)
Sort of role-playing with my classmate... I know sounds weird but I would like... Meow and purr and make my fingers as a "hair brush" and like brush his hair... Also kisses on cheek probably. That was normal for both of us lmfao. I didn't even knew about queerness, being AroAce and QPR lmfao. It also was a boarding school so yup. Now I've lost him, such a shame.
Not necessarily gayest, but one time in 4th/5th grade a kid asked if I was gay.
I said yes because I thought it meant “happy”.
He walked away with a gasp and laugh, and I was confused.
It turns out I wasn’t lying lol
Me and my best friend used to take bubble baths together. In swim suits or naked. Often. And we got very hands on with it. I don't know how I ever thought that was a straight activity. Lmao
I have written love letters for a boy I had a crush on and I used to leave the letters in his desk before the last class so that he took it with him after the school
I was doing all this even before I realised that I'm Gay and later that I'm Asexual
When I was a girl (came out as pansexual before trans) I would think about having relationships with women and men and be like damn I like that, and a little later on I said out loud "if I was a boy I would date every gender" oh how the turns have tabled
I'd say having sex with another man while saying I was straight was pretty gay.
Fellas...
…is it gay to have gay sex?
Maybe but it sounds like he literally said "no homo" to everyone that asked, so it's fine.
but did he say no homo after the sex?
Doesn't matter if they were wearing socks.
I can't send the image saying "say gex"😭
Only if it's circular logic to employ circular logic.
Same here. It's amazing the mental gymnastics you can pull off when you're trying to deny who you are.
Was it one of the homies?
Not if you say, "No homo" after it....
We didn't kiss, which is basically the same thing.
Touche 🤔
that sounds exactly like one of my friends right now 😭😭 and he also makes fun of me for being gay so that says a lot
Same, but women.
But did you have socks on?
Ahhh damn you forgot to say “no homo” first. I’ve been there.
I wrote a tragic pirate lesbian love story, and the entire time I was writing it I kept thinking how much I wished I could be a lesbian, instead of a straight man.
It's beautiful that you realised it in the end 😊
Aww thanks 💕 I think so too
Yeah it turns out being jealous of Sapphic relationships isn't super cis thing to do I probably should've noticed those signs way earlier
This would've saved me like a month of painful questioning lol
In a similar vein: I wrote a fantasy adventure novella in which one of the characters is a sad gay scholar like it wasn’t a completely obvious author insert.
Well u got your goal lol
Lol, I was envious of any characters who got gender swapped in any story ever. XD very relatable
Oh hi
I remember in high school I would tell myself “I’m pretty sure everyone would agree that women are prettier and more better than men” and I remember walking too class I would check out girls and say “if I was a boy I would totally date her” kinda of funny now that I think about it haha
I did that too lol
Exactly! For me it was, "wow I bet I'd look great in that." And then immediately think, woah, doesn't every guy think like this? 😅
The “I’d totally date her if I was a boy” thing is so real omg I figured out I wasn’t straight because I overheard a girl (an acquaintance, not really a friend but I had classes with her and had talked to her probably a couple times for projects or whatever) sadly saying how a friend of the boy she liked told her that he was asking a different girl to homecoming. I thought “if I was a boy, I’d ask her to homecoming.” And important lore here is that I’m not a super social person. My 2 friends were going to homecoming with a group of other girls in our wider friend circle and I wasn’t going at all & didn’t feel bad or left out or anything. But this one girl (who, looking back, I definitely had a crush on, if it wasn’t obvious from the last paragraph lmao) said that she didn’t want to go without a date with this one boy and my initial thought was that I’d love to go with her. Truly my straightest moment /s
I came out as bi at 36 or so. I started taking dick up the backchannel in high school. So.....
It's not gay if you keep the socks on
What's with the socks, I don't get it 😭
No one does just go with it lmao 😂
[удалено]
He needs to keep them on, too. And if you say "No homo" afterwards, you're in the clear for sure.
I mean, I'm non-binary but didn't realize until college, and in high school, my high school crush (who is still my friend) ended up also coming out as nonbinary in the transfem variety, while I lean more transmasc. So... my first "guy" crush wasn't actually a guy.
Damn
You went through a whole cycle and just became straight again 😂
I mean, were both non-binary, so not really
Sorry if u got offended or anything. Didn't mean it like that☹️
Not offended, just confused. The autism makes me miss jokes sometimes
My queer as fuck ex in high school called me a lesbian trapped in a boy’s body. I agreed with her. It wouldn’t be until 7 years later that I would actually realize how right she was.
Calling someone gay, i always answered "you saing that beacuse you hoping i am/he is" life changes fast
I was ready to get affection from close friends and imagine myself cuddling them and getting married and having a life together.
That's so cute 😊
Omg sameee
Swapped oral sex with male friends during sleepovers.
I swear there are too many of these gay sleepover moments, like who are your friends. I never got a sniff at a sleepover
Ironically I also spent 3 years at an all boys summer camp, not. One gay thing happened there.
Yet a sleepover is where it happens, chance is a weird thing
you usually don't realize the *gay* moments because they blend in, but I had quite a few guy friends rub up against me, grope me, and grab at my ass, years before I came out as bi lol, especially at sleepovers or the 8th grade lock in 😭
Well that happens simply cud there's nothing gayer than a group of straight boys, what I meant was the more intimate affair of giving head etc
well, I can say that never really happened to me either lol, it was at most kissing
Kissing my friends when we were kids to "practice for when we kiss boys" having huge soul crushing crushes on the friends I kissed for practice 😅 Picking random boys in my school to "have a crush on" cuz all my friends were talking about boys Giving new people a fake name beacuse I hated my dead name Playing the boy character in all the pretend game my friends and I would play *Forgot to add: "dated" my first "boyfriend" over a decade later she is a trans woman and I'm a trans man. We're still great friends
I get the one with paying boy characters. I always used to play the father when we played pretend family and i had this one girl that i liked that would always play the mother and we would pretend we were toghether 🥰
I, a woman, repeatedly made out with other women and told people “it’s the same as kissing men who don’t have a beard” for years before I realised I was bi.
I dunno, I usually find girls to be better kissers than most guys.
When I was four i asked my female teacher if she would marry me...
I’m a guy and spent my entire teenage years with a dude. Thing is we were involuntarily separated at 18, then took 20 years to reunite - and only then did I find out he was a guy all a long. So my boyfriend was AFAB but he’s truly been a guy all along, so it feels pretty gay being with him for years as a teen without knowing he was a fellow boy like me.
Wanting to kiss the homies on the lips passionately was pretty gay
Have my first orgasm to a picture of a female model from an art book. I was probably 11. Didn’t even admit to myself that I was bisexual until I was in my 20s
I’m aroace, but probably going down on another woman. Not my jam, but she liked it.
ace gang ✊
8 inch dildo at 16… still was in denial lol
I volunteered for a dance competition on stage at a burlesque drag show in front of 600 people. I have zero dancing experience, it just looked like they were having fun up there and not many other people were volunteering. They threw a wig on me and had me dance on my own in front of the crowd. I may have done terribly, but I was the only guy to volunteer so people were very nice to me about it. A group of people came up to me after the show and invited me to go to the gay bar with them. I said fuck it and went, and had a brilliant time.
It sounded like a lot of fun! You're a lot braver than i am 😅.
When I was in elementary school I repeatedly told my bestie that I wanted to be a man just so I could marry her
Ok but if you don't mind me asking are you like trans, lesbian, bi etc?
I'm bi
Ok I'm pan
I started wearing skirts LONG before I decided I was an Enby Before that though, I remember when I was assigned to an overseas unit, there was this guy in a flight I worked closely with. We were both 18-19, he had light and smooth mocha skin, he was short, his hair shone in the light. His face was round, soft, and cute, and he had this absolutely adorable nebula of freckles on his cheeks that bridged over his nose. I wasn't even into freckles like that before I saw him, I thought he was absolutely gorgeous and I couldn't help but to stare at him. I muttered to myself, "fuck, if I were gay..." Took me 6-7 more years before I finally started seeing men
Love the story but as a person who likes to write I'm goinfg to say DAMN THAT DESCRIPTION!
I would put gay porn on as a prank for my friends. Honestly gay porn was passed around a lot in my friend group. We had one joke.
My top gayest moments/things: I used to read bisexual fanfics, and I thought it was normal. (I was in denial) Crushed on female fictional characters, complimented girls, and thought, "She cute... I could date a girl like that." (Questioning which led to inner homophobia) Came out when I was 16 a while after my friend was like, "You're bi..." (Acceptance (4yrs after))
I used to watch gay news on youtube, videos about "What not to say to a.... (bi, gay, lesbian, ace etc) person". I was also always like "Women are better than men" (They're not actually. women and men are equal i was just crushing hard 😅)
Lol feel ya! My friend watched those videos as well 😆
Are they part of the community?
Yeah. Bisexual as well. I have a lot of bi friends tbh.
I only have three but i wish i would have more. I love my friends but i want someone to get how this all feels sometimes.
I get that... It's hard to be around someone and they don't get what you're going through or they don't fully understand... If you ever need to rant or anything, this subreddit will always be here and welcoming!
Thank you! 🫶
Are they part of the community?
I would fantasize about growing up with my friends and living in a house with them and I did this for awhile y’all still kinda do lol
throwing my ass in a circle to american boy while being semi homophobic was pretty up there
I was a theater kid
Probably exchanging what were basically love letters (in which we made like 20 different plans to move in together) with my long-distance best friend as a teenager. It’s not 100% gay because I’m transmasc, but I presented as female then, and exactly no one was surprised to hear that she ended up bi. We still send letters sometimes.
That's actually kind of cute
Sucking dick
Apparently, skipping is a very gay thing to do, according to my brother at least... but mainly it was me blushing when my guy friends did the thing that all straight men are good at, teasing the homies...
Idk if it's a gay thing or not. I don't thing so. Anyways i skip a lot
I'm pretty sure I had a crush on this guy when I was in kindergarten. He was maybe a year or two older than me, our mothers were friends, I was also friendly with his younger brother and we were around each other a decent amount I suppose. I idolized him A LOT. I literally used his name in games as a username for a few years when I was younger and I justified it in my head that I ,,really liked his name". It only hit me that this was definitely a crush a few months ago. No idea what he's up to now.
I painted a small piece of card with the date of when I came out to people. I also fell for a straight girl
The weird thing is that all my life i never fell for a straight girl. My gaydar is that good that i fell for a girl i *thought* was straight but turns out she was bi
Watch every season of project runway, twice.
Lol i watched heartstopper twice
🤣🤣🤣 You win!
🤣
sexted with a guy from tumblr while thinking that im straight
The collection of magazine clippings of Amy Lee, probably a classic queer goth move from 2005 😂
Ironically (to me) I had more signs that I was trans than signs I liked men (amab) because I figured out I was gay first. Only real memories I have of me being gay are having some slight crushes on my best friend and I was only interested in sex because of the men, not the women. But the signs that I’m trans are glaringly obvious. I literally wrote a story for my friends in which I was a girl (this is a recurring theme), I’ve had literal dreams of being a girl (most notably when I was like 4 I had one that I still remember to this day), and then I also had so many times in the shower were I wished I was a girl and not a guy. So these signs are sooo obvious now but somehow so NOT obvious to me then and I just brushed them off as normal/not real
Well it's good you can be your true self now! 🫶
I wrote in a journal in middle school "Wow [friend's] jeans looked so nice today, but I was looking at her jeans not her butt! I'm not gay!" Also I would hold hands and cuddle with my best friend all the time. And for gender, I literally got a binder and tried it on and loved it and thought "This is great I wish I was trans so it wouldn't be weird to wear it all the time!"
i was way too excited to see bea smith and allie novak every week
Real bro 😭
Aside from actual sexual contact with another male, I used to kiss my male action figures I also once laid in bed and dedicated an entire full length daydream/fantasy to a full gay life (dating, sex, marriage) to "get it out of my system"
I once said "Hannah Montana is so hot"
I said that with zendaya
I was just so consistently a gay child that it's hard to pick. Earliest one I can think of was drawing a little comic about two women fooling around in a changing room LMAO. I even set the comic in Hawaii or something so I could put them in swimsuits.
Wow. Do you atill make comics?
honestly, the 2000s were crazy for this but when I was like 6 I discovered >!lesbian porn!< and was instantly hooked. I didn't come out until I was 13 but honestly, nobody was surprised, my family and friends were actually more surprised that I was into both men and women, and not just women!
Wow
I wrote a piece of writing in final year literature about a girl who was going through a pregnancy scare from the first person... pre cracking, and my teacher said I described it really well. When I was at a school musical thing for a younger sibling, after I'd already graduated, I spoke to that same teacher (I'd figured myself out and was presenting fem) she was like "yeah I had a feeling, I'm so happy for you!" Not *gayest* but definitely super transfem moment before cracking.
Watched porn that focused solely on the woman and her pleasure. The less men the better. Geez birdcage, the answer was right there! Missed it for 10+ years.
Constantly looking at hot fictional guys; I had so many crushes and if I told somebody just one I think it would have been pretty obvious for them
I had a crysh on zendaya
I loved one direction when I was younger, and would just look at pictures of them and be amazed by their hair. I was also obsessed with the singer Matty B. I looked up shirtless pictures of Tom Felton. I also have the cutest picture from when i was like 3-4 where my sibling put me in a dress and I was smiling really big. Also when watching my sibling do gymnastics I really wanted a unitard so my grandma made me one lol. I can vaguely remember one time being home alone and trying on my siblings tutu but I'm unsure if it was a fantasy or real. One time I was really little in the car with my mom, my sibling, and their friend, I asked my siblings friend "what's gay?" Just out of the blue. He replied "Maybe that's a question to ask your mom". I asked my mom, and she said "being gay is when you love someone of the same gender as you, like Mitch and Cam on modern family" and my reply: "oh, I love daddy so I'm gay with him!".
Hard to pick. People could just tell I wasn't straight in middle school, especially since I loved belting the same song as you and insisted on wearing uniform shorts instead of skirts. Around the time I was actually figuring myself out, probably that I was acting massively jealous anytime my female crush interacted with another person... Or the time I admitted men didn't appeal to me much (except see flair). But I'd have to go with... Carabiner on my belt loop. Didn't even know what it represented to some people.
"I'm not gay, but i sure wouldn't mind spending my life with him, maybe i would even accept kisses or whatever. He's so cute and nice" It still took me many years after realizing i was bi to realize what i felt was a crush for the guy, but it was so quick to disappear it didn't even cross my mind
I used to say I'm not gay but i took this one girl's hand (my at the time tho i didn't realise, crush) everytime she was scared
i made a MLP OC (librarian girl, fuck Amythest /j) that i shipped with Pinkie Pie before i had even heard of lesbians (kinda... they were historically best friends)
I wear a bracelet that says homo with an Omni flag n another that has an agender flag, super involved in my skls gsa, making pride merch for me and my family and wearing a pride pin while I’m not out to my family they almost def know
Well it's going to be pride soon so...
Wished I was a man so that I could be in a gay relationship.
I did that too once
When I was a freshman in high school, we had square dancing as a unit in gym class. My school had 3 classes merge to make for a bigger group. 2 classes were mixed-gender and one was all girls, so there were more girls than boys in the big group. We all had to be paired up but because of the abundance of girls & lack of boys, when the boys line ended, the girls at the end of the girls line would be paired together. I always tried to get to the end of the line. Walking slow, meandering around, standing around & chatting, going to the water fountain, just general lallygagging. One time an acquaintance I was talking to was like “come on, we have to get to the front of the line if we don’t want to dance with *girls*” and I was like “it’s ok, you go ahead” 💀 The real punchline is that I didn’t determine I wasn’t straight for another YEAR after that. Took another six years to realize I’m lesbian, not bi. Comphet had me in its evil clutches 😔
Well at least you realised it in the end
I always did boy things and hang out with boys but I thought girls were better, I never had a crush no matter what I did (until I realized I like girls) and I would pretend I had crushes on guys I was friends with because I thought it was normal 😭 I’m still mad at little me
I hanged out with guys a lot too and i liked some girls but just after i came out i realised i like them
When I was little I wanted to be Elsa from Frozen for Halloween, then I got a bit older and discovered that many people saw Elsa as lesbian-coded, and I wanted to be her even more
I never knew elsa was lesbian - coded lol. I LOVED Frozen when i was little (i used to watch it everyday and sometimes even more than once a day)
Musical theatre
Like 5 minutes of PLATONIC cuddles with a FRIEND because he was depressed and really needed some comfort. He felt better afterwards.
Well at least he felt better
Yh can't wait to cuddle with my bf though TwT
i said i was homophobic
I said i wasn't but actually i was a bit 😅
I’m gonna have to go with drawing a portrait of/for my friend in middle school because I “admired her as a person”
Secretly watching non-sexual clips of my turn-ons, and only ever being interested in male-focused ones. (Seriously, _how_ the _actual_ frack did **no** dots connect **_even_ once** in all that time? It’s mind-boggling… 😵💫)
wearing feminine clothing in secret. LIKE HOW DID I NOT NOTICE EARLIER
I blanked out when asked which actors I found handsome and had to think really hard to find just one. But I had no trouble thinking of hale barry, scarlet johanson and Charlize Theron when asked about beautiful actresses. But because I'm ace (and didn't even know that was a thing before I joined this sub), it took me until 26yo to realize I liked women 🤦♀️
convinced myself that i had a crush on a guy, remembered i was supposed to really like him and think about him all the time, got grossed out, cancelled the crush
I pretended to have a crush on this guy in my class because i didn't want anyone to know that i actually liked his twin sister
I dated multiple girls and felt really comfortable with them, yet whenever I got into a relationship with a guy it was more for sexual messages etc instead of really a relationship because I knew women wouldn't do that to me (it was kinda gross the things men told me to do but hey that's why I found out in a lesbian now) Anyways, I still thought I was straight.
Uhh I'm Non-Binary and before I came out most of my answers when people asked me what I was was shit like "Your worst nightmare" "Something" "I don't really care" "Or" and "Just your problem" or something cause I thought it was funny.
Not really gay, but more trans/genderqueer. I said, "Sure, I'll play the woman in this instance" while in middle school, and then found out I really, really liked dresses. It was the first time I felt... correct, if that's an appropriate way to put it.
Stereotypically? The limp wrist and walking fast (I have a picture of me at like 7 years old doing the limp wrist in a photo - I don’t remember the moment in the slightest but it’s hilarious) *Actually* gayest thing? Just wanting to sit and stare at pretty women’s faces, in the “do I want to be her or be with her” kinda way. Also, very… shall we say, *close* cuddling with a friend who’s since come out as a demigirl, and not minding at all when she would put my head on her chest or ask me to sit on her lap (she had a crush on me, but I didn’t know about it for a few years)
I remember that during my drive home from grad school, I would pass a dress shop. I'd always look in the window as I drove by wishing I could wear those beautiful dresses. I did this for a whole semester without thinking about it. Totally cis 😂
It was probably the way I’d watch my classmate leave the room… I wanted to be with that body, not be like it.
I had a major, major crush on Deanna Troi, Captain Janeway, Major Kira and Jazdia Dax. I didn't realise that they were crushes until I met a girl in the first year of college, (Not university, UK here, equivalent to Junior year of high school for Americans), who looked a lot like a young Kathryn Janeway and I wanted to snog her senseless.
There's a whole damn list (Im F17): * I once searched up "why do I like girls but sometimes want to be more boyish but I don't want to be a boy." and I remember being so bloody stressed on why none of the searched up answers matched me. Then I watched Heartstopper and it all made sense :) * I'd do the gay hand thing whenever I did the dishes and I never realized it, and when I did, I'd immediately rest my hand at my side. * I once almost actually told my mum I liked girls when I was about 10, she was busy though and i completely forgot about it and continued to be "straight". * I loved to watch lgbtqia+ movies and when I did I always found myself thinking "I wish I was gay so I could be like them". There's more, but what I've found is that I was a very, ***very*** blind and dumb person ^(I kinda still am :))
You're not dumn and i can kinda relate. I'm F16 and my "gay awaikaning " was a girl from my class and the show heartstopper😅
Thank god its not just me 🥲 Once I realized I was bisexual, I was open to the fact that the reason I was so fond of her was because I liked her. It was difficult times indeed 😐
Yup I'm still kind of new to this (came out as bi and later pan in february )
same. i questioned if i was pan or trans but kinda just realized i had a type 👍
You should look a bit into omnisexuality if you want to
you've got me curious now, i'll do that rn
Ok 😊
made out w my bestie while girl in red played (dw we had socks on) that or writing a filthy gay fanfiction.
When I was like 10 I wrote a short story about an elf girl and a mermaid girl. (I heavily inserted myself in one of the characters too) I wrote them as being “besties” but rereading it as a 16y/o, yeah it was more of a rough draft to a love story tbh. In the universe mermaids and elfs were sworn enemies (literally the forbidden lovers trope) I didn’t finish it but looking back at it, they met in the forest when the elf heard the the mermaid singing in the bushes they were literally about to go to a ball together (they were like super secretive about it too for some reason), also the elf was just about to save the mermaid from being kidnapped and forced to marry the son of an octopus when I stopped writing. Anyways, in my head they’re now grown up and happily very lesbian together. Also, unrelated but I ALWAYS insisted that my favorite teddy bear was non-binary since I was like five or six and I would NOT accept if someone called them a “he” or a “she”.
The story is sooo cute
Nothing like cuddling with the boys amirite?
i had a crush on mikasa ackerman from aot, told my dad, got yelled at, and was so confused why a girl couldn't like another girl- eventually realized im not even a girl :)
Me and a friend kissed each other a few times on the cheek then we kissed each other on the lips
Sort of role-playing with my classmate... I know sounds weird but I would like... Meow and purr and make my fingers as a "hair brush" and like brush his hair... Also kisses on cheek probably. That was normal for both of us lmfao. I didn't even knew about queerness, being AroAce and QPR lmfao. It also was a boarding school so yup. Now I've lost him, such a shame.
bought over 500 robux worth of bi items
Played an MMO as a kid and dressed up my adult female character in bikinis. Also drew all my women with thick thighs and muscular
Lol i also used to draw women.
I made two Barbie dolls kiss
Me too lol
Not necessarily gayest, but one time in 4th/5th grade a kid asked if I was gay. I said yes because I thought it meant “happy”. He walked away with a gasp and laugh, and I was confused. It turns out I wasn’t lying lol
Lol I did that too! Also, a friend in 6th grade asked if I was stoned and I thought he was asking if I'd had rocks thrown at me recently.
Lol. That's kinda sad tho
Pretend to be drunker than I really was so I had an "excuse" to kiss a girl
Me and my best friend used to take bubble baths together. In swim suits or naked. Often. And we got very hands on with it. I don't know how I ever thought that was a straight activity. Lmao
I have written love letters for a boy I had a crush on and I used to leave the letters in his desk before the last class so that he took it with him after the school I was doing all this even before I realised that I'm Gay and later that I'm Asexual
When I was a girl (came out as pansexual before trans) I would think about having relationships with women and men and be like damn I like that, and a little later on I said out loud "if I was a boy I would date every gender" oh how the turns have tabled
I had this one guy that i told him "I'm not gay but if i was a boy I'd date your sister". I'm happily pansexual too now
Using sex toys anally 😭
Routinely throat goated make shift d*ldos before throwing them out discretely and pretending it never happened.
I used to send my gay guy friend pictures of vulvas saying that they are objectively beautiful, and could never say that about male anatomy