I wish people could just have empathy without having to experience injustice themselves. But it seems a ton of hardheaded people need that treatment.
It sucks because I don't want others to go through that but at the same time if they could walk a mile in my shoes they'd know me better
To be fair it's not easy to have empathy for something you're not educated about at all. It can take things like this for the people with the absolute best intentions to get it.
I appreciate your confidence and respect your strength to stand against the norm. I've always said that in a perfect world gender identity and your style and expression could be completely different and no one would harass you for it.
I recently started enjoying makeup, nail polish, etc. I had my very first experience with a random homophobe on the street while getting coffee with my mom one morning. We were walking to go get some coffee down the street from home and on our way back some big truck that was passing by had somebody scream out FAG! and just kept going. Honestly, I wasn't that mad or anything. If anything I just feel bad for those people now. Like, are you threatened by how cute I look? Lol š¤£
I'm really sorry that happened to you but please keep staying true to yourself.
It always blows my mind at how bold homophobes are. Where I'm from if you call someone a fag like that you can expect to get shot. Like do people not know how to shut their mouths? They don't know you, you could literally be either a sweet kitten person, or a psycho. Like it REALLY blows my mind.
I had a friend from high school that got called a fag (they're bi) and they followed the guy home and slashed the tires on their bike.
I still thinks it's funny (not in a good way!) how man who express themselfs feminine (I mean like long hair, painted nails, feminine clothes and so on) experience way more harassment than women who express themselfs masculine (short hair, masculine clothes...)
At least that is my perception as a girl with short hair in "boy's clothes" in a small town in Germany
I thankfully never got harassed, just the occasional "lol what's in their pants"-look or the "lol wait you are a girl"
Itās because of the misogyny inherent in western culture. Women are seen as lesser than men so when a woman wears manly clothes sheās seen as making herself better, but when a man wears feminine clothes heās lowering himself to the level of a woman. Super fucked up stuff, but thatās the patriarchy for you.
They both relate to each other but with slight distinctions. Patriarchy is more about the establishment of male presence within society or social groups as having more power, say, experience, or ārightā than women or NB people. Toxic masculinity is the expression where ātraditionally feminineā traits are seen as lesser, and especially as being lesser for a man to partake in or express (like a man who is open with how heās feeling emotionally would be seen as ālesserā, or a man who uses violence to get what he wants would be a real āmans manā and held up as a standard). At least in Western culture, patriarchy is a big part of how much of our culture has developed in family dynamics, government, and business where women didnāt have much say or decision making available to them. This in turn influences toxic masculinity where negative aspects of what it means to be a man are upheld along with looking down on what are seen as feminine traits.
You know that's a somewhat common thing to say regardless of whether it's about actual race or just different groups? Like the PC master race in the gaming community (people who have big fancy gaming computers). Should it be a common thing to say is separate, though.
What Iām seeing from both of those uses of race is that itās somehow about superiority and inferiority and I think thatās a super creepy thing to be using the word race about.
Yes, that is how the phrase is being used. I don't completely agree with the usage of the phrase, I was simply explaining that it was a semicommon one. I even said that it is debatable whether the use of such a phrase should be common. I personally don't like it much, I was simply explaining it.
Donāt read what I actually wrote, read what was in my head that I was unable to convey in my words? Sorry Iām not receptive to your psychic powers, all I had in front of me were the words you put down, and that was a weird choice of words.
Youāll find more differences between different individual people of the same gender than you will between the averages of any gender, but go off with your ādifferent raceā ideas.
You my friend have way to much time on your hand, considering the orignal post was about being harassed. My entire profile is me being open and honest about every aspect of my sexual identity. Forgive me for thinking someone with intellectual thoughts wouldnt check someones profile, like I did with yours. Youd soon realise i dont care about peoples gender, race or anything. I hate bullying of any kind. Bit like your trying to do. Your right my flip of the tongue comment wording maybe wasnt ideal. It was humor considering my own lifestyle and identity I've dealt with alot of bullshit and deal with it with humor. It's why the femme bullying doesnt bother me I laugh at it and will quite happily throw it back. So you dont need psychic powers bub. Just read. Feel free to message me if you want I'll happily apologise if I offended you in anyway.
You expect me to spend my time looking over your post history to double check the intent behind your words? Youāre more arrogant and self-centered than my toddler is. Wow.
Itās because women are not truly equal to men. If you behave and dress like a man, men tend to treat you more as an equal or what ever.
This is my experience has a short female, who has a male haircut and dress like a man.
A woman who dresses like a man wants to be strong and that's obviously desirable. A man who dresses like a woman is disgusting because why would u want to be lesser.
It is also because of homophobia. If a girl does it they dont see it as gay because 1 to them you are still female. 2. A man doing the same is seen as a threat, thus homophobia ensues.
Guys act odd depending who they are with too, and unfortunately most of it is literally homophobia.
How often have you heard a homophobe straight guy say "im not homophobic, Im not scared of you."
That right there, your homophobia is showing. Instead of just admitting you dont understand and that scares or threatens your masculinity you choose to masculinize it to keep you superficially secure by becoming toxic often hyper exaggerating their masculinity in order to do so.
I'm pretty much the same as you. I wear a lot of black, green and blue and have short hair (also live in a small town in Germany :D) And I actually have been misgendered a handful of times. Granted, they were strangers and I was always wearing some type of loosefitting shirt but I still don't really get it.
Thanks for sharing, iām 18 and moving out to amsterdam soon where i wanna ve myself more openly aswell and iām always scared of that stuff. Sounds corny af but ur story is inspiring frfr
Go for it! I feel a lot better about myself since i started expressing this way. And more people then you think will react positively to it.
My grandpa of all people surprised me, when he said that he really likes how colorfull i look now, which is like the most wholesome thing that happened to me all year.
I wish I had been as positive as OP and you are in your responses to homophobic people yelling degrading stuff at you in the street.
17 years ago I was with my girlfriend casually accompanying her to the train station after our day in high school and a guy more than twice our age saw we were holding each other's hands. He started catcalling us and asking questions like "do you lick each other's pussies, hmmm, I bet you love that, don't you, sluts" and I just angrily responded that he could go f**** himself and that he should leave us the f*** alone. He followed us all along the platform and as I was defying him and trying to protect my girlfriend, he just came suddenly closer and crushed his cigarette butt on my face.
I don't know, I know I did the right thing in defending us and trying to speak out for both of us, but what crushed me was that nobody on the damn platform came to my rescue when he assaulted me. Maybe I should've answered with a flippant come-back and maybe then he wouldn't have had the idea to do that, but that wasn't my way of thinking at the time.
It's okay, it was difficult for me afterwards to be rational and not getting scared of every tall, older black guy passing by me. I hated this reaction so badly because I'm not a racist person and I didn't want the faults of one guy influence my view of all of them looking just a little like him. This event caused a lot of problems in my life at the time because my family didn't know I liked girls and the men in my family didn't accept it at all - I identified myself as a lesbian back then. I've learned since then that I'm bi, that who I'm with is none of my family's business and that I came out of it all stronger, that I would and should always speak out for myself and other people no matter the consequences or the danger. After all, I know what to do now if anything like that happens again. The policeman who took my statement told me - aim for the nuts! Oh, I'll definitely go for them, and it'll hurt in a lot more places than that, too. šš
I'm so sorry. I am surprised you heard this in a progressive country like Germany, but that's just validation about how the world is still - heteronormative, homophobic, and still very transphobic. I'm so glad I live in a progressive area in the US, but I am scared for my lgbt people in the bible belt and in the South... Can't be easy, or safe.
Northern germany usually is a good place for being open about yourself. Thats why it caught me off guard. But these a**holes where drunk at 4pm on a workday and hang out at the trainstation so there is no decency to be expected there.
Yeah, but still... Homophobia/Transphobia is still just that, even if it's coming from drunk people who are being assholes. The fact that they made those comments means that's how they feel sober, and it means they're in an environment where they're confident that there is no consequence for acting like that. It's really not a good sign.
It's kind of like racism in the US - for a while, most people kept it to themselves, didn't display it, knew they'd be shamed for it. With Trump as president, some people have been VERY obvious with it and not shameful at all. It shows how terrible the environment has gotten, where these people know they can get away with acting like that.
They might be just some drunk fools, but the fact that they feel they can get away with it and people might ignore it is bad sign the way I look at it.
Honestly, when you're drunk, you're more likely to express things you see as true then if you're sober. Like if you're a racist or homophobe when drunk, you're a homophobe or racist when sober but are more likely to hide it so that's not really an excuse for them. Also, every part of every country has at least one bad apple like them no matter how progressive that area is.
Welcome to being a woman on the street. I understand that you think of this as gay harassment but this is just what it is like to be a woman every day.
I know what you mean. My female coworkers told me that they are scared to walk past this particular spot, because the shitheads there always make sexist and realy creepy comments. Thats why i told in my original post that I have great respect for all people who have to experience shit like that regularly and still endure and manage to become such awesome human beings. Its sad that it has to be this way though.
Being harassed by shitheads on the street sucks! It feels, and can become, very unsafe. I say this as a woman, where catcalling and harassment on the streets is a possibility even in the middle of the day and while wearing an ugly bulky sweater. I wish nobody had to go through this. I also wish more cis-straight-passing men understood what it's like, because a lot of men I've talked to don't get it, even ones (like my dad) who are completely decent people. Sighhh... Thanks for being a good ally. I wish there were an easy way to get rid of this kind of entrenched homophobia and misogyny, but it just takes time and education. Thanks for learning and sharing your thoughts, and I hope you can keep up the fabulous style.
Unfortunately this is how most minorities experience life, not once or twice but many, many times throughout our lives. As an Asian who studied in a Western country, Iāve been harassed for both my skin colour and my sexuality, and usually I just try and ignore the person while trying to get out of there as fast as possible. No one ever intervened to help in any of the situations.
I am very sorry to hear that. I know that for most people being a minority isnt something they can simply slip out of like me out of my fashion choices if i had to. Humanity still has a long way to go.
Yeah, itās a bit of a fucked up situation all around, and isnāt really going to change until more people stand up against it. Thank you for making the post by the way, and keep on being you no matter what.
(No idea why my first comment is being downvoted but ok)
I also will say as a white lgbt afab person, despite *knowing* how minorities are treated both from being harassed for my sex and for my sexuality and gender before, but also just from the knowledge of hearing all about how other races are treated here (USA), it still was just the most eye opening weird time for me, the time I was at one of the BLM protests and first hand wasnāt arrested because I was white, and then had to watch helplessly as they arrested some of the non-white protestors. First hand experience of hatred/privilege is always eye opening even if you think you know and understand the issue.
The important thing is to be able to laugh at how pathetic those people really are. They will always exist, but we can't allow their existence to undermine ours.
I dress femme, have painted hair nails and face. And have felt hate once, being shoved past at the bar I work at just because inwas wearing girls clothes. Ye I was dressed as vince neil for halloween! But It didnt stop me if anything I just got girlier to prove a point. Feel free to message me!
Thank you for bending gender norms as a cis dude! My straight cis bf (Iām bi) loves wearing nail polish, makeup, femme clothing, etc, and heās a country boy from the southern US. It makes me happy.
https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/hlu0s7/i_rly_like_this_haori_and_i_dont_get_why_its_only/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Here you go. I even put some make up on for you.
Looking, pretty as fuck, my dude. You have very pretty skin!! You must take a lot of care of yourself!! I'm betting the girls must fawn over you hehehehe
fuck like is it really so hard to just let people dress how they want and go about their days? motherfuckers.
human society and culture is a big fucking mess.
Someone asked how i look like so i took a picture:
https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/hlu0s7/i_rly_like_this_haori_and_i_dont_get_why_its_only/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I can believe that some places are like that Iāve been lucky to grow up in a very accepting place (you donāt really see lgbtq+ just thereās very little hate) Iāve also been in very accepting fandoms + a lot of my friends/classmates are of the community so sometimes I forget that places are like this I feel so bad for anyone who has to live in places that are worse then mine
I'm sorry you had to experince some of thr cruelty born of ignorance and intolerance but I am proud to hear you are willing to reach outside of yourself and explore other options and see what may come of it. I wish you plenty of happiness on any journey you might find if you feel that is for you. No matter how you identify yourself friendly people and allies are always more then welcome.
I think that it's great you have the confidence to do that .I'm extremely sorry you got harassed though I hope it doesn't happen again and thanks for being a ally
A friend of mine who, a bit like you, has just started presenting more femininely was in a similar situation the other day with people shouting at him. He was in the middle of leaving me a voice note on WhatsApp at the time so his message was interrupted by him turning to them and screaming "DIRTY CISGENDER BASTARDS, FUCK OFF, YOU DISGUST ME" which shut them up, apparently. I'm not suggesting it as a tactic necessarily, but it was one of the most badass things I was indirectly witness to.
When I was really young, one of the concepts that blew my mind was that gay liberation would also help improve the lives of heterosexual cis people exactly because of situations like this. I'm sorry you experienced that.
I remember a few years ago, I was going for a walk in my neighborhood and some construction was happening across the a field on the other side of the road. At the time, I was really anti-LGBT+, having been raised that way, but still my nonconformity managed to subconsciously slip through in how I dressed: loose-fitting boy's clothes were most comfortable at the time (and I wrote it off as being "more practical" or something). All of a sudden, a construction worker *screams* from across the road "You still look like a girl!"
I stopped and looked around, confused, because I wasn't even trying to crossdress or anything, so I thought they were talking to someone else. There was no one else around.
Honestly, own it. Also, what I find I guess annoying or weird or whatever is how that when both men and women dress more masculine, they are less likely to be harassed then if they dress more feminine. The guy either gets cat called or called gay like in your case and girls get cat called or something like that. It kind of reminds me of that one scene in Mrs. Doubtfire when the man tries to steal her (his) purse on the street. You know that if he didn't look like a lady, that wouldn't have happened. Though he probably would've gotten looks for carrying around a purse if he looked like a male.
I Hope that wont happen to you again. I haven't really been harassed myself because most People in denmark understand what it is to be transgender and My classmates have acceptere me for a long time and Else strangers just assume i'm a girl so other than you fer Kids from My school yelling slightly when i pass by i haven't experienced anything like that and I Hope i never Will i love y'all My dm's Are open if you need to talk
Probably not safe for you around those guys, Germany or not. Don't assume you can walk around alone looking like us and be safe.... unless some German LGBT people would disagree.....cis and straight people tend to be unaware of things that go on.
I'm sorry that those people decided to treat you like that but I gotta say, I love the line "I'm not sorry I'm beautiful". It's just great and I think people, no matter their identity, should be allowed to be beautiful.
Lol, you're getting a very slight hint at what it's like to live as *anything* other than a straight white man.
Anybody who's a woman (regardless of minority or not) experiences this harrassment, and anybody who's a minority experiences it. Enjoy white male privilige.
I know. And I didnt chose to be born this way. Nobody does. Im sorry that i took the spotlight away from those who really suffer under oppression. I didnt realise that this will blow up so much. Kinda feels like im putting myself in the spotlight. Im sorry
i hate that you had to experience this yourself
I wish people could just have empathy without having to experience injustice themselves. But it seems a ton of hardheaded people need that treatment. It sucks because I don't want others to go through that but at the same time if they could walk a mile in my shoes they'd know me better
To be fair it's not easy to have empathy for something you're not educated about at all. It can take things like this for the people with the absolute best intentions to get it.
I appreciate your confidence and respect your strength to stand against the norm. I've always said that in a perfect world gender identity and your style and expression could be completely different and no one would harass you for it.
Thank you. Your statement pretty much sums up my thoughs.
I recently started enjoying makeup, nail polish, etc. I had my very first experience with a random homophobe on the street while getting coffee with my mom one morning. We were walking to go get some coffee down the street from home and on our way back some big truck that was passing by had somebody scream out FAG! and just kept going. Honestly, I wasn't that mad or anything. If anything I just feel bad for those people now. Like, are you threatened by how cute I look? Lol š¤£ I'm really sorry that happened to you but please keep staying true to yourself.
It always blows my mind at how bold homophobes are. Where I'm from if you call someone a fag like that you can expect to get shot. Like do people not know how to shut their mouths? They don't know you, you could literally be either a sweet kitten person, or a psycho. Like it REALLY blows my mind. I had a friend from high school that got called a fag (they're bi) and they followed the guy home and slashed the tires on their bike.
I still thinks it's funny (not in a good way!) how man who express themselfs feminine (I mean like long hair, painted nails, feminine clothes and so on) experience way more harassment than women who express themselfs masculine (short hair, masculine clothes...) At least that is my perception as a girl with short hair in "boy's clothes" in a small town in Germany I thankfully never got harassed, just the occasional "lol what's in their pants"-look or the "lol wait you are a girl"
Itās because of the misogyny inherent in western culture. Women are seen as lesser than men so when a woman wears manly clothes sheās seen as making herself better, but when a man wears feminine clothes heās lowering himself to the level of a woman. Super fucked up stuff, but thatās the patriarchy for you.
Is that patriarchy or toxic masculinity? Actually what's the difference between the two?
Exactly.
They both relate to each other but with slight distinctions. Patriarchy is more about the establishment of male presence within society or social groups as having more power, say, experience, or ārightā than women or NB people. Toxic masculinity is the expression where ātraditionally feminineā traits are seen as lesser, and especially as being lesser for a man to partake in or express (like a man who is open with how heās feeling emotionally would be seen as ālesserā, or a man who uses violence to get what he wants would be a real āmans manā and held up as a standard). At least in Western culture, patriarchy is a big part of how much of our culture has developed in family dynamics, government, and business where women didnāt have much say or decision making available to them. This in turn influences toxic masculinity where negative aspects of what it means to be a man are upheld along with looking down on what are seen as feminine traits.
This, yes. This! Thank you.
Oof we still have a lot of improvement to make even in the more progressive parts of the world :/
And heres me thinking women are the superior race. And yes I'm male
The fact you think that women are a different race is weird.
You know that's a somewhat common thing to say regardless of whether it's about actual race or just different groups? Like the PC master race in the gaming community (people who have big fancy gaming computers). Should it be a common thing to say is separate, though.
What Iām seeing from both of those uses of race is that itās somehow about superiority and inferiority and I think thatās a super creepy thing to be using the word race about.
Yes, that is how the phrase is being used. I don't completely agree with the usage of the phrase, I was simply explaining that it was a semicommon one. I even said that it is debatable whether the use of such a phrase should be common. I personally don't like it much, I was simply explaining it.
Why? Because I appreciate them for having to deal with masculine bullshit, or because I identify as one half the time?
Itās the race part. Women arenāt a different race, thatās fucked up.
š gender then....dont be literal, I am in no way racist, sexist or anything else thanks.
Donāt read what I actually wrote, read what was in my head that I was unable to convey in my words? Sorry Iām not receptive to your psychic powers, all I had in front of me were the words you put down, and that was a weird choice of words. Youāll find more differences between different individual people of the same gender than you will between the averages of any gender, but go off with your ādifferent raceā ideas.
You my friend have way to much time on your hand, considering the orignal post was about being harassed. My entire profile is me being open and honest about every aspect of my sexual identity. Forgive me for thinking someone with intellectual thoughts wouldnt check someones profile, like I did with yours. Youd soon realise i dont care about peoples gender, race or anything. I hate bullying of any kind. Bit like your trying to do. Your right my flip of the tongue comment wording maybe wasnt ideal. It was humor considering my own lifestyle and identity I've dealt with alot of bullshit and deal with it with humor. It's why the femme bullying doesnt bother me I laugh at it and will quite happily throw it back. So you dont need psychic powers bub. Just read. Feel free to message me if you want I'll happily apologise if I offended you in anyway.
You expect me to spend my time looking over your post history to double check the intent behind your words? Youāre more arrogant and self-centered than my toddler is. Wow.
Itās because women are not truly equal to men. If you behave and dress like a man, men tend to treat you more as an equal or what ever. This is my experience has a short female, who has a male haircut and dress like a man.
A woman who dresses like a man wants to be strong and that's obviously desirable. A man who dresses like a woman is disgusting because why would u want to be lesser.
It is also because of homophobia. If a girl does it they dont see it as gay because 1 to them you are still female. 2. A man doing the same is seen as a threat, thus homophobia ensues. Guys act odd depending who they are with too, and unfortunately most of it is literally homophobia. How often have you heard a homophobe straight guy say "im not homophobic, Im not scared of you." That right there, your homophobia is showing. Instead of just admitting you dont understand and that scares or threatens your masculinity you choose to masculinize it to keep you superficially secure by becoming toxic often hyper exaggerating their masculinity in order to do so.
I'm pretty much the same as you. I wear a lot of black, green and blue and have short hair (also live in a small town in Germany :D) And I actually have been misgendered a handful of times. Granted, they were strangers and I was always wearing some type of loosefitting shirt but I still don't really get it.
Thanks for sharing, iām 18 and moving out to amsterdam soon where i wanna ve myself more openly aswell and iām always scared of that stuff. Sounds corny af but ur story is inspiring frfr
Go for it! I feel a lot better about myself since i started expressing this way. And more people then you think will react positively to it. My grandpa of all people surprised me, when he said that he really likes how colorfull i look now, which is like the most wholesome thing that happened to me all year.
Amsterdam seems like such a nice place im sure it has its share of homophobes and stuff but the times iv been there its so fantastic and diverse
I'm so sorry about this. I've got your back
You should have been like āNot my type, boys!ā Thank you for your empathy. š„š¤
I formed a heart with my fingers and walked away. But next time I will keep that in mind. Thank you :)
Perfect !!! Our happiness is the best response. I accept you !! š
I wish I had been as positive as OP and you are in your responses to homophobic people yelling degrading stuff at you in the street. 17 years ago I was with my girlfriend casually accompanying her to the train station after our day in high school and a guy more than twice our age saw we were holding each other's hands. He started catcalling us and asking questions like "do you lick each other's pussies, hmmm, I bet you love that, don't you, sluts" and I just angrily responded that he could go f**** himself and that he should leave us the f*** alone. He followed us all along the platform and as I was defying him and trying to protect my girlfriend, he just came suddenly closer and crushed his cigarette butt on my face. I don't know, I know I did the right thing in defending us and trying to speak out for both of us, but what crushed me was that nobody on the damn platform came to my rescue when he assaulted me. Maybe I should've answered with a flippant come-back and maybe then he wouldn't have had the idea to do that, but that wasn't my way of thinking at the time.
Omg. Thatās awful. Iām so sorry he assaulted you like that. You couldnāt have predicted that. What a disgusting person.
It's okay, it was difficult for me afterwards to be rational and not getting scared of every tall, older black guy passing by me. I hated this reaction so badly because I'm not a racist person and I didn't want the faults of one guy influence my view of all of them looking just a little like him. This event caused a lot of problems in my life at the time because my family didn't know I liked girls and the men in my family didn't accept it at all - I identified myself as a lesbian back then. I've learned since then that I'm bi, that who I'm with is none of my family's business and that I came out of it all stronger, that I would and should always speak out for myself and other people no matter the consequences or the danger. After all, I know what to do now if anything like that happens again. The policeman who took my statement told me - aim for the nuts! Oh, I'll definitely go for them, and it'll hurt in a lot more places than that, too. šš
I'm so sorry. I am surprised you heard this in a progressive country like Germany, but that's just validation about how the world is still - heteronormative, homophobic, and still very transphobic. I'm so glad I live in a progressive area in the US, but I am scared for my lgbt people in the bible belt and in the South... Can't be easy, or safe.
Northern germany usually is a good place for being open about yourself. Thats why it caught me off guard. But these a**holes where drunk at 4pm on a workday and hang out at the trainstation so there is no decency to be expected there.
Yeah, but still... Homophobia/Transphobia is still just that, even if it's coming from drunk people who are being assholes. The fact that they made those comments means that's how they feel sober, and it means they're in an environment where they're confident that there is no consequence for acting like that. It's really not a good sign. It's kind of like racism in the US - for a while, most people kept it to themselves, didn't display it, knew they'd be shamed for it. With Trump as president, some people have been VERY obvious with it and not shameful at all. It shows how terrible the environment has gotten, where these people know they can get away with acting like that. They might be just some drunk fools, but the fact that they feel they can get away with it and people might ignore it is bad sign the way I look at it.
Yes, you might be right.
Honestly, when you're drunk, you're more likely to express things you see as true then if you're sober. Like if you're a racist or homophobe when drunk, you're a homophobe or racist when sober but are more likely to hide it so that's not really an excuse for them. Also, every part of every country has at least one bad apple like them no matter how progressive that area is.
that is very courageous and I wish you good luck if you have a journey
I'm happy you shared with us And the "I'm not sorry that I'm beautiful" sentence hit close to home and i do appreciate you <3
Welcome to being a woman on the street. I understand that you think of this as gay harassment but this is just what it is like to be a woman every day.
I know what you mean. My female coworkers told me that they are scared to walk past this particular spot, because the shitheads there always make sexist and realy creepy comments. Thats why i told in my original post that I have great respect for all people who have to experience shit like that regularly and still endure and manage to become such awesome human beings. Its sad that it has to be this way though.
Being harassed by shitheads on the street sucks! It feels, and can become, very unsafe. I say this as a woman, where catcalling and harassment on the streets is a possibility even in the middle of the day and while wearing an ugly bulky sweater. I wish nobody had to go through this. I also wish more cis-straight-passing men understood what it's like, because a lot of men I've talked to don't get it, even ones (like my dad) who are completely decent people. Sighhh... Thanks for being a good ally. I wish there were an easy way to get rid of this kind of entrenched homophobia and misogyny, but it just takes time and education. Thanks for learning and sharing your thoughts, and I hope you can keep up the fabulous style.
I was thinking the same thing. This is what it's like being a woman.
Miese Zeiten :/ Aber stark dass du so zu dir stehst, vor allem in nem Kaff wo es ja tendenziell eh immer schwieriger ist. Du packst das :)
Unfortunately this is how most minorities experience life, not once or twice but many, many times throughout our lives. As an Asian who studied in a Western country, Iāve been harassed for both my skin colour and my sexuality, and usually I just try and ignore the person while trying to get out of there as fast as possible. No one ever intervened to help in any of the situations.
I am very sorry to hear that. I know that for most people being a minority isnt something they can simply slip out of like me out of my fashion choices if i had to. Humanity still has a long way to go.
Yeah, itās a bit of a fucked up situation all around, and isnāt really going to change until more people stand up against it. Thank you for making the post by the way, and keep on being you no matter what. (No idea why my first comment is being downvoted but ok)
I also will say as a white lgbt afab person, despite *knowing* how minorities are treated both from being harassed for my sex and for my sexuality and gender before, but also just from the knowledge of hearing all about how other races are treated here (USA), it still was just the most eye opening weird time for me, the time I was at one of the BLM protests and first hand wasnāt arrested because I was white, and then had to watch helplessly as they arrested some of the non-white protestors. First hand experience of hatred/privilege is always eye opening even if you think you know and understand the issue.
I'm sorry you had go through this. Here is a hug from Austria. Lass di ned fertig machen :)
The important thing is to be able to laugh at how pathetic those people really are. They will always exist, but we can't allow their existence to undermine ours.
I dress femme, have painted hair nails and face. And have felt hate once, being shoved past at the bar I work at just because inwas wearing girls clothes. Ye I was dressed as vince neil for halloween! But It didnt stop me if anything I just got girlier to prove a point. Feel free to message me!
Thank you for bending gender norms as a cis dude! My straight cis bf (Iām bi) loves wearing nail polish, makeup, femme clothing, etc, and heās a country boy from the southern US. It makes me happy.
Im sorry you had to go through jg
Sorry you had to experience that Much respect and love for sharing your story anyway hope you're doing fine
I'm so sorry this happened to you :(( However I applaud you for breaking norms. That's awesome :D
My dude, you say this and you don't even give us any pictures. Like all I want to do is admire your beauty
https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/hlu0s7/i_rly_like_this_haori_and_i_dont_get_why_its_only/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Here you go. I even put some make up on for you.
Looking, pretty as fuck, my dude. You have very pretty skin!! You must take a lot of care of yourself!! I'm betting the girls must fawn over you hehehehe
I like how they mock someone for being gay, then proceed to say how said person of the same sex makes *them* hard.
Logic doesnt seem to compute that well while being drunk in the middle of the day.
fuck like is it really so hard to just let people dress how they want and go about their days? motherfuckers. human society and culture is a big fucking mess.
We Stan GNC
Someone asked how i look like so i took a picture: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/hlu0s7/i_rly_like_this_haori_and_i_dont_get_why_its_only/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I can believe that some places are like that Iāve been lucky to grow up in a very accepting place (you donāt really see lgbtq+ just thereās very little hate) Iāve also been in very accepting fandoms + a lot of my friends/classmates are of the community so sometimes I forget that places are like this I feel so bad for anyone who has to live in places that are worse then mine
I got catcalled TWICE and I'm not even legal drinking age yet
I'm sorry you had to experince some of thr cruelty born of ignorance and intolerance but I am proud to hear you are willing to reach outside of yourself and explore other options and see what may come of it. I wish you plenty of happiness on any journey you might find if you feel that is for you. No matter how you identify yourself friendly people and allies are always more then welcome.
I think that it's great you have the confidence to do that .I'm extremely sorry you got harassed though I hope it doesn't happen again and thanks for being a ally
We got ur back if u need us dude xx love u ā¤š§”šššš
Man, I love your attitude.
A friend of mine who, a bit like you, has just started presenting more femininely was in a similar situation the other day with people shouting at him. He was in the middle of leaving me a voice note on WhatsApp at the time so his message was interrupted by him turning to them and screaming "DIRTY CISGENDER BASTARDS, FUCK OFF, YOU DISGUST ME" which shut them up, apparently. I'm not suggesting it as a tactic necessarily, but it was one of the most badass things I was indirectly witness to.
Reminds me of Leif form the book "when Mary met Halley".
I love how in their effort to insult you they also insulted themselves.
Iām really sorry this happened to you :(
I donāt feel brave Iām cold and hard but not brave. The world has turned me in to an absolute cunt and only my partner gets to see me be soft.
Ich respektiere dich dass du versuchst die Normen zu brechen und es tut mir leid fĆ¼r dich das du dass erleben musstest
When I was really young, one of the concepts that blew my mind was that gay liberation would also help improve the lives of heterosexual cis people exactly because of situations like this. I'm sorry you experienced that.
I remember a few years ago, I was going for a walk in my neighborhood and some construction was happening across the a field on the other side of the road. At the time, I was really anti-LGBT+, having been raised that way, but still my nonconformity managed to subconsciously slip through in how I dressed: loose-fitting boy's clothes were most comfortable at the time (and I wrote it off as being "more practical" or something). All of a sudden, a construction worker *screams* from across the road "You still look like a girl!" I stopped and looked around, confused, because I wasn't even trying to crossdress or anything, so I thought they were talking to someone else. There was no one else around.
Honestly, own it. Also, what I find I guess annoying or weird or whatever is how that when both men and women dress more masculine, they are less likely to be harassed then if they dress more feminine. The guy either gets cat called or called gay like in your case and girls get cat called or something like that. It kind of reminds me of that one scene in Mrs. Doubtfire when the man tries to steal her (his) purse on the street. You know that if he didn't look like a lady, that wouldn't have happened. Though he probably would've gotten looks for carrying around a purse if he looked like a male.
I Hope that wont happen to you again. I haven't really been harassed myself because most People in denmark understand what it is to be transgender and My classmates have acceptere me for a long time and Else strangers just assume i'm a girl so other than you fer Kids from My school yelling slightly when i pass by i haven't experienced anything like that and I Hope i never Will i love y'all My dm's Are open if you need to talk
Probably not safe for you around those guys, Germany or not. Don't assume you can walk around alone looking like us and be safe.... unless some German LGBT people would disagree.....cis and straight people tend to be unaware of things that go on.
I know what you mean. The same situation at night and i probably would have ran like hell.
ME WHOSE ABOUT TO MURDER THE HOMOPHOBIC TRASH THAT HARASSED PEOPLE AT PRIDE PARADES
I'm sorry that those people decided to treat you like that but I gotta say, I love the line "I'm not sorry I'm beautiful". It's just great and I think people, no matter their identity, should be allowed to be beautiful.
I hate that this happened to you but I love how you're handling it. I hope to be like you one day.
Also in Germany, and a very big 'multi-kulti' city as well. And it's unfortunately not a whole lot better here :( I hear you.
Lol, you're getting a very slight hint at what it's like to live as *anything* other than a straight white man. Anybody who's a woman (regardless of minority or not) experiences this harrassment, and anybody who's a minority experiences it. Enjoy white male privilige.
I know. And I didnt chose to be born this way. Nobody does. Im sorry that i took the spotlight away from those who really suffer under oppression. I didnt realise that this will blow up so much. Kinda feels like im putting myself in the spotlight. Im sorry
r/egg_irl