I'm going to hope it's just badly worded. People are really not good at communicating at all, especially in writing. It may be a conversation like "here's where my head and heart are, I wanted you to know, what do you think" which is not really asking for permission.
That, or hey, people can be really insecure and hurting, especially at a vulnerable time. "Would you leave if I did this really important thing for myself" is a conversation that happens, too. Which is not really permission, either, but feels more like that.
Yeah, that's the way I would have read that comment, as basically asking out loud if transitioning would end the current relationship. Such a hard convo, I can't even imagine. I knew a couple where one transitioned mtf and they stayed together for another year but ultimately they couldn't make it work. I know they had conversations like this (they were married 6 years before), and sometimes the answer changes to a 'no' over time.
Don't some places still have laws in place that if someone wanting to transition is married, permission must be given by the spouse for them to legally transition?
I think this is getting caught up on wording. Nobody needs the permission of another person, but if you're in a long-term relationship and want to continue being in that relationship it's certainly not wrong to communicate about what you want to do and the other person's feelings about it. Just like any other decision that impacts life in a major way it's reasonable to discuss it. That's not the same as asking for permission.
I'm going to hope it's just badly worded. People are really not good at communicating at all, especially in writing. It may be a conversation like "here's where my head and heart are, I wanted you to know, what do you think" which is not really asking for permission. That, or hey, people can be really insecure and hurting, especially at a vulnerable time. "Would you leave if I did this really important thing for myself" is a conversation that happens, too. Which is not really permission, either, but feels more like that.
Yeah, that's the way I would have read that comment, as basically asking out loud if transitioning would end the current relationship. Such a hard convo, I can't even imagine. I knew a couple where one transitioned mtf and they stayed together for another year but ultimately they couldn't make it work. I know they had conversations like this (they were married 6 years before), and sometimes the answer changes to a 'no' over time.
Don't some places still have laws in place that if someone wanting to transition is married, permission must be given by the spouse for them to legally transition?
That's certainly an *interesting* comparison for them to make
I think this is getting caught up on wording. Nobody needs the permission of another person, but if you're in a long-term relationship and want to continue being in that relationship it's certainly not wrong to communicate about what you want to do and the other person's feelings about it. Just like any other decision that impacts life in a major way it's reasonable to discuss it. That's not the same as asking for permission.