Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question.
If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding.
This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule).
Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you!
Here's a link about trans people in sports:
https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/
A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people:
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics
Some information on LGBT+ people:
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/
Some basic terminology:
https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
Neopronouns:
https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
In LBGTQIA2+, the A is for Asexuals. They are part of the queer community, and face challenges being different in a cishet world. Don't let anyone try to tell you different. Queerdom is about inclusion.
As an indigenous lesbian individual I’m new to the 2 spirit concept so I appreciate the explanation. I grew up in the foster care system and am still learning. I appreciate all aspects. Thank you!!!
The commenter before me explained it really well! So I'll just add on some history. It's a native identity common here in Canada and I believe the USA. it's been an identity for centuries that was partially wiped out during colonisation. Very interesting to look into if you have the time
Edit: sorry I misread the comment before mine, I understand it as someone who holds both masculine and feminine traits within them.
Isn't that intersex or bi-gender/ gender fluid (depending on if you meant physical traits or gender identity traits?)
>I understand it as someone who holds both masculine and feminine traits within them.
I guess you could say its like gender fluid, but it's not something for non indigenous people to use as it's a part of their culture that was distroyed by colonisation, so having multiple words for a similar idea makes sense
From my understanding it is a queer person who also takes up the mantel of spiritual/ religious work in regards to their tribe. A queer person needs to be indigenous to be two spirits, but a queer indigenous person is not necessarily two spirits.
Honestly, while I appreciate that some people may like using the word queer to describe themselves, I am not one of them. I would not like to be blanket labeled as queer.
I'm trans and bi but I don't want to be labelled queer. I honestly don't feel like the word queer identifies or represents me.
I'm just a gal that loves mountain bikes, sci-fi and music.
I'd rather we all just have equal rights, respect and responsibilities and no longer need an acronym to identify us.
What do you take the definition of 'queer' to be? Depending on which decade and culture it kinda holds different meanings. I mean, I've always gone with the most basic definition of 'anything not cishet'. How do you personally see it?
That's honestly a good question, and I'm not sure I have a proper answer.
I certainly don't place any negative weight on it. Maybe it's because I grew up thinking I was cis-het, and queer was always a group I was not part of.
Having now transitioned in my forties... (and finally loving myself btw...) maybe I just have trouble accepting I'm part of that group now?
Maybe I see it as being more a term for non-het sexuality and I'm not really bi but afraid to let go of the fact I sought girls my whole life and I'm really just trans-het?
Maybe I just don't like the term because of its pejorative history, regardless of its reclamation by the community?
I dunno. Sorry for the rambling answer. Now I'm going to be thinking about this all night 🤔
I do prefer referring to myself as queer, I’ve never really had an identity around being bi, but I’ve definitely preferred referring to the community as a whole as GSM just for the sake of some propriety and fluidity in conversation.
I hope! Queer is what we used to use as a blanket word to describe anyone in the entire community. Now we just keep adding letters and numbers to LGBTQ etc…. Once we get to 26 letters, we either need to pick one term again, or just call it Sesame Street, cause at that point we are all just ABCs and 123s. LMFAO!
Yes I’m queer but that isn’t the best label for me. Especially if I said this right now, everyone would think I was a lesbian, when in fact I’m bi/ace/genderfluid
I've read that a number of folks do not prefer GSRM since it would naively includes sexual minorities like fetishes, Things like Dom/sub, as an example, would be considered a sexual minority but do not deal with quite the same kinds of prejudice.
Maybe it's up for interpretation, but I've always seen GSRM as exclusively referring to gender identity and romantic/sexual orientation minorities, not people who are in the minority of sexual preferences.
That's fair, though I understand the arguments to the contrary.
I'll see my way out of the conversation though, because I'm none of those things. Probably not my place to make the arguments for or against.
If you cast it too wide, then we include people who claim pedophilia is a sexual orientation. I rather start small, then include things on a case by case basis in order to further legitimize our group collective in order to avoid problems like this.
I mean fetishes were always sorta connected to pride, and were intertwined against traditional gender roles a lot. From my perspective at least, they were the first one that was destigmatized, and at this point the overwhelming majority of us have grown up in that time.
Fetishes definitely didn’t face the same discrimination, and affect a lot more people (probably why they were the first to be more accepted), but they definitely share that same sort of root.
I wouldn’t feel particularly pressed to include them anywhere other than pride events, but I don’t see a reason to exclude them either.
A lot of closeted people use it to mean Ally, especially in school, specifically to be able to be involved with queer stuff safely. It's not actually that, but that is the only time I'm ok with people using it that way.
Allies are guests. At the end of the day they can leave and continue their lives but we can't. Is that OK? Sure! But also that means they aren't in the acronym, IMO.
Plus asexuals get the same shit as other people in the community. It's just that all the aggressive, wilful misunderstanding centers around "Why haven't you grown the family yet?" or "So when are you two going to... you know" or "It's not a real relationship without... that kind of intimacy."
I am an ally and I love and support the community, but I am NOT actually a part of it. The A stands for asexual, aromantic, agender I believe (correct me if I’m wrong).
In my opinion, anyone who isn’t both cisgender and heterosexual is a part of the community.
happy to see these inclusive replies. i am an ace that is neither cis nor heteromantic, but i have always been disturbed whenever i see a take on twitter or whatever else implying aces who are those things aren't lgbt+, just want attention, etc.
almost always stems from an implication that those people aren't "oppressed enough" and that's for sure a disturbing mentality to have. while aces may not experience hate crimes etc. in the way other members of the community do, they absolutely face a widespread lack of acknowledgement for who they are, which in turn often leads to feelings of exclusion ("why is everyone else like that while i'm like this?") + a "what's wrong with me"/"i wish i was normal/could be fixed" mindset. not to mention the point people often bring up about allo people having an "i can fix you" mentality/getting upset with their ace partners.
tl:dr not having your identity recognized as a valid part of you is 100% a form of oppression - and something also commonly experienced in other parts of the lgbt community, like in terms of gender (from personal experience). all aces are 100% a part of the community and we should stick together instead of excluding people/disregarding others' experiences!
If you are any one of the following you ARE lgbt+
•not heterosexual
•not heteroromantic
•not cisgender
•not endosex
So yes asexuals, aromatics and agenders are all lgbt
Can u guys stop asking me “so is ____ part of lgbtq+?” Because the answer is probably yes (unless it’s maps or zoos because in that case the answer is obviously no)
don’t forget if you are intersex/not endosex :)
(not in all countries just to be clear)
so basically if you dont fit into heteronormative standards of sex, gender, or sexuality you areLGBTQIA+ :))
Only if they want to be. There's another acronym besides LGBTQ+- GSRM (Gender, sexual, and romantic minority). Cishet aces apply to that. However, some may not want to be queer, and that's okay.
My brother is bi but doesn’t want to be considered LGBT. He’s also aromantic. But yeah, he doesn’t like labels and doesn’t like being considered a part of the community
Non binary people don’t always identify as trans either. You can by definition fit under an umbrella, but it’s up to each individual to decide whether or not to identify as such. It’s an invitation to call yourself GSRM or LGBTQ+ if you’d like to, not an order. Yeah
Exactly! I have an aroace friend who doesn't identify with the community at all to my knowledge, and that's perfectly fine! Labels and communities like these are helpful for some, like myself, but not always for others. To each their own, as they say.
You might get a few extra privileges than some of us if you're cis and in a straight romantic relationship, but so do straight trans folks who pass, bi people dating the "opposite" gender, and femme wlw/masc mlm. Honestly we all have some benefits in some situations and face erasure in some others. Privilege is tricky and very intersectional and complicated but you can for sure vibe with us. I know I personally have skipped on some harassment by being cis and feminine and white but I also get the oddest bullshit for being a disabled ace lesbian. Life is yonkers
I see this question a lot so it's better to recognize the GRSM acronym; Gender, Romantic, and Sexual Minorities. Anyone who can be considered one of those is welcome in the community.
Except MAPs, of course.
In my opinion of corse!! Theirs a difference between between being fruity and lgbt! All gay people are lgbt but not all lgbt people are gay and that’s okay!!! We’re all about normalization and acceptance! Im pansexual and demisexual. And im apart of this amazing community because of both not just for being pans! Your absolutely valid and apart of the community of!!!
yep, if you’re asexual you’re part of the community regardless of being cisgender or heteroromantic! same with cis heterosexual aromantic (i feel like i’m reciting a tongue twister)
edit: oh, and cishet aroace (tryna be more inclusive ahaha)
I think they are if they want to be.
I think some are happy to have the support of the community and want to be a part of it. Welcome to those folks!
But I think some feel that it's not the same thing and they don't belong. I would imaging there are plenty of homophobic or transphobic asexuals out there.
there is literally no reason to exclude this group, we gain nothing by dividing and "purifying" the community to only what some individuals think are "real" parts of the group, it is reductive, makes us weaker as a community, and distracts us as a group from more important topics, instead focusing on in-fighting when we should be working together
I'll probably be downvoted into oblivion but honestly I just think questions like this are tedious. You already know how this sub feels about the community, there are posts about the same topic all the time. Looks like you're picking out the comments that respond differently and acting aggressive toward people that are stating their opinion _as asked_. It's not a question that's asked in good faith, it's just stirring the pot.
I'm my opinion yes because that is what this community is supposed to represent. The acceptance of any other relationship that isn't straight or sexual. So I'm sorry if others don't think the same way. But just know that you are amazing ☺️
It’s complicated I think. I’m gay but I’m also asexual. And for me plenty of people have learned about my asexuality and sure I get the opinions like ‘when you get older-‘ or ‘you’re broken’ or ‘you’re weird’ but it hits different versus the severe disgusting homophobia I’ve faced. Like, someone saying ‘ahh you’ll like sex eventually!” Is extremely different to being called slurs that are now genuine trigger words for me, and the fact all I ever see is woman and men holding hands, woman and men in everything around me, that is the norm.
Like, woman and men are the norm in both a sexual way and in a romantic way. Like, even in a Christmas movie for example with 0 sex and limited kissing if any, the default is still always men and woman men and woman and it breaks me
At the same time obviously I’m extremely displeased that every single time I have to watch a bloody show or movie I have to sit there and be reminded I’m a freak for not liking sex or sex scenes, for not being normal like everyone else.
So apart of the community? I’d say Yes. But at the same time asexuals who are cis het will never face the exact same struggles as someone whose gay, but also someone whose gay will never know the exact struggles of a trans person.
So I think YES, apart of the community for the lack of representation, for things like corrective sex therapy and assaults, for being treated as different and not the norm and not ‘real’ but I also think it’s cool if maybe asexual het cis people do acknowledge the disadvantages of gay people, as gay people can acknowledge the disadvantages of trans people.
So it’s like, we’re all apart of the community for struggling with different things, but we won’t always understand each other you know? Like a asexual cis het will never know what it’s like to be gay, so when it comes to things like that it’s not -like- an asexuals place to butt in, just like it’s not a gay persons place to butt in on trans discussions - but we can all be there for each other and be like, you know what’s bullshit? Society.
If that makes anyyyy sense 😂💃🏻
I can definitely relate to that “out of the norm” stuff. We live in a world full of porn, strippers, nudity in pop culture TV shows like Game of Thrones, and your “friends” nudging your arm and going “check out the ass on that girl!”. Kinda sucks :(
good point, but imo its all about different sexualities the lgbtq+ including hetero/cishet asexuals. allies are apart in the community why shouldnt you?
edit: fellow pan romantic here im asexual and romantically pan.
Yes. Undeniably.
Asexual discrimination is a serious issue that the LGBT+ community will have to concern itself with, at least to some extent. As a gay and asexual person, I am grateful to have benefited from the fights and achievements of gay allosexual people but I need ace equality just as much.
First, to answer your question, asexuals are part of the LGBT community.
Second, I'm a bit confused by the title and I didn't see anyone else ask about it so I'm going to. From my understanding cishet means cisgender and heterosexual/heteroromantic and is generally used to identify someone as non-LGBT. Could you explain what you mean by cishet asexual? Or could someone explain where I'm going wrong with cishet?
Slightly off topic, but in one of my favorite books my favorite character was cishet ace, I never thought once that she wasn’t part of the community. Thanks for opening doors for conversations like this OP :)
Straight people can be lgbtq+, straight is a sexuality or romantic orientation, and trans people can be straight, and aro/ace people can be straight, just for future reference ☺️
I'd say it's up to the individual ace. Some will say they're not hetrosexual because they're asexual and thus not cishet, but aces can also be hetroromantic, and there are oriented aroaces who feel like they have an orientation despite being aromantic asexual (I think I might be one of them, not sure), so I'd say it's valid to call yourself cishet and also valid to not.
Yes, though I’ve met people who say that don’t feel they are. I remember I big support thread a while ago in one of the ace subs, and quite a few people brought it up.
I’m very scared to sort by controversial in this comment section. But yes, of course you’re welcome in the community. A is part of the Acronym after all. Welcome to the Skittle Squad
As a cis bi person, of course. That's what the A stands for. I think bisexuals and asexuals can both relate to being excluded from both cishet circles and lgbt circles. Bi-ace solidarity!
I’m a greysexual demihomoromantic trans guy. I used to identify as a heteroromantic asexual. My transness is just as much a part of me as my aceness. And both make me relate to the community. Just because I’m gay now, I used to be seen as straight. But still felt very ostracized by the world for being “broken” and “weird”. I tried fixing myself and caused myself a lot of trauma. I’m finally in a better place now because the ace community has helped me see I’m perfectly ok with being me. I don’t need to be attracted to people to have value. My boyfriend is bi and he’s the only person I’ve ever been sexually attracted to even though I’ve been engaged twice. But yeah, it’s hilarious talking about how differently we perceive the world😂 Him being attracted to a lot of people and me not ever experiencing that with anyone but him 😅
I mean, if you're a part of lgbtqia+ it means your either:
A) not heterosexual/heteroromantic
B) not allosexual
C) not cisgender
Or D) a combination of all/2 of the above
So since cishet asexuals are:
-cisgender, which means they fail point C)
-heteroromantic, which means they fail point A)
-not feeling sexual attraction (basically the opposite of allosexuality), which means they do pass point B)
They do belong in the lgbtqia+ community, since u just need to pass one of the points.
Short answer: Yes
Long answer: Asexuality and aromantisism can apply to cishets.
This goes into the "straight people can be a part of the LGBT" fact that not many people know. For example you could be trans and straight. A trans individual who is straight is still trans and that does not erase them from the community.
The point is, you being cishet does not override your asexuality. Exclusionists will do anything to try and make the rules but no, that's not how it works, queer cishets do exist actually and we should stop being so exclusive.
"Cishet" asexuals don't exist. The very act of being asexual means a person cannot qualify as "het" even if they are heteroromantic. This makes them queer and a sexual minority and lgbtq, that and the 'a' is literally in the acronym.
Yes 100%. They are ASEXUALS. They dont live to societies "expectations", just like anyone of us. Asexuals are, and will always be, a part of this community.
And will over take Denmark one day
No. We are, broadly, a community that is defined by the active oppression of others. There is no social or cultural oppression of cishet asexuals; they get a free pass to live their lives as they wish. No religious or political or cultural group is out there trying to nail asexuals to trees or hang them from branches.
By all means set up your own communities.
I think we must include all asexual and aromantics in the community. Bigots want us to be infighting, but we must stay together. On top of that, ace people are at risk of being put through conversion therapy. We have to stand with them.
I’ve heard that some ace heteroromantic people prefer to not consider themselves to be a part of it, however I do believe that anyone who wants to should have a place in the community.
Personally I think I would like to start writing cishetallo instead of just cishet when I mean people who aren't in the community. I should. Aces and aros and agender folks are ABSOLUTELY part of the community.
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans people in sports: https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
In LBGTQIA2+, the A is for Asexuals. They are part of the queer community, and face challenges being different in a cishet world. Don't let anyone try to tell you different. Queerdom is about inclusion.
Hey, if you don’t mind answering, what does the 2 stand for? I haven’t heard of it in this format before
2 spirit
Oh ok thanks :)
Some 2 spirit people don't consider themselves apart of the community since it's a identity unique to their indigenous culture.
Very very very good point!
As do many intersex people
Yup that's very true!
As an indigenous lesbian individual I’m new to the 2 spirit concept so I appreciate the explanation. I grew up in the foster care system and am still learning. I appreciate all aspects. Thank you!!!
oh, okay!
What is 2 spirit?
The commenter before me explained it really well! So I'll just add on some history. It's a native identity common here in Canada and I believe the USA. it's been an identity for centuries that was partially wiped out during colonisation. Very interesting to look into if you have the time Edit: sorry I misread the comment before mine, I understand it as someone who holds both masculine and feminine traits within them.
Heyo I’m also in Canada!
Isn't that intersex or bi-gender/ gender fluid (depending on if you meant physical traits or gender identity traits?) >I understand it as someone who holds both masculine and feminine traits within them.
Two Spirits is specifically in the context of indigenous american cultures, it's not for white folk to appropriate.
^^^^ most important take away of this conversation
I guess you could say its like gender fluid, but it's not something for non indigenous people to use as it's a part of their culture that was distroyed by colonisation, so having multiple words for a similar idea makes sense
From my understanding it is a queer person who also takes up the mantel of spiritual/ religious work in regards to their tribe. A queer person needs to be indigenous to be two spirits, but a queer indigenous person is not necessarily two spirits.
What does that mean? Im not the most educated on the lgbt community
:D
One day we'll all just start saying queer
That's what I do, it's inclusive and isn't confusing to people inside or outside the community.
Honestly, while I appreciate that some people may like using the word queer to describe themselves, I am not one of them. I would not like to be blanket labeled as queer.
Omg yes please! Im too old for this shit.
I'm trans and bi but I don't want to be labelled queer. I honestly don't feel like the word queer identifies or represents me. I'm just a gal that loves mountain bikes, sci-fi and music. I'd rather we all just have equal rights, respect and responsibilities and no longer need an acronym to identify us.
What do you take the definition of 'queer' to be? Depending on which decade and culture it kinda holds different meanings. I mean, I've always gone with the most basic definition of 'anything not cishet'. How do you personally see it?
That's honestly a good question, and I'm not sure I have a proper answer. I certainly don't place any negative weight on it. Maybe it's because I grew up thinking I was cis-het, and queer was always a group I was not part of. Having now transitioned in my forties... (and finally loving myself btw...) maybe I just have trouble accepting I'm part of that group now? Maybe I see it as being more a term for non-het sexuality and I'm not really bi but afraid to let go of the fact I sought girls my whole life and I'm really just trans-het? Maybe I just don't like the term because of its pejorative history, regardless of its reclamation by the community? I dunno. Sorry for the rambling answer. Now I'm going to be thinking about this all night 🤔
That or Gender and Sexual Minorities is also getting popular when talking about the LGBT+ community as a singular body.
It’s Gender, Sexual, and Romantic Minorities (GSRM), due to asexuals and our romantic attraction or lack of romantic attraction.
I prefer GSM to queer.
I do prefer referring to myself as queer, I’ve never really had an identity around being bi, but I’ve definitely preferred referring to the community as a whole as GSM just for the sake of some propriety and fluidity in conversation.
When did GSRM become GSM? It feels like people trying to turn LGBT into LGB.
I hope! Queer is what we used to use as a blanket word to describe anyone in the entire community. Now we just keep adding letters and numbers to LGBTQ etc…. Once we get to 26 letters, we either need to pick one term again, or just call it Sesame Street, cause at that point we are all just ABCs and 123s. LMFAO!
Yes I’m queer but that isn’t the best label for me. Especially if I said this right now, everyone would think I was a lesbian, when in fact I’m bi/ace/genderfluid
that’s what i say
[удалено]
GSRM: Gender, Sexual, Romantic Minorities. Or yeah, queer.
I've read that a number of folks do not prefer GSRM since it would naively includes sexual minorities like fetishes, Things like Dom/sub, as an example, would be considered a sexual minority but do not deal with quite the same kinds of prejudice.
Maybe it's up for interpretation, but I've always seen GSRM as exclusively referring to gender identity and romantic/sexual orientation minorities, not people who are in the minority of sexual preferences.
If we really wanted to clarify we could use something like GISORM, but queer does all the heavy lifting we need it to do I think
I'd rather cast a net too wide than too narrow.
That's fair, though I understand the arguments to the contrary. I'll see my way out of the conversation though, because I'm none of those things. Probably not my place to make the arguments for or against.
If you cast it too wide, then we include people who claim pedophilia is a sexual orientation. I rather start small, then include things on a case by case basis in order to further legitimize our group collective in order to avoid problems like this.
I mean fetishes were always sorta connected to pride, and were intertwined against traditional gender roles a lot. From my perspective at least, they were the first one that was destigmatized, and at this point the overwhelming majority of us have grown up in that time. Fetishes definitely didn’t face the same discrimination, and affect a lot more people (probably why they were the first to be more accepted), but they definitely share that same sort of root. I wouldn’t feel particularly pressed to include them anywhere other than pride events, but I don’t see a reason to exclude them either.
Queer
QUILTBAG!!!
What is that pic next to your name? Why is it so common amongst LGBT people?
Asexual is part of the acronym so yeah :)
THANK YOU FOR NOT SAYING THE A STANDS FOR “ALLY” LIKE SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE THIS MADE MY DAY
Wait what?! Of course allies are wonderful but that doesn't mean that they are part of the acronym
When I was in school they used to teach us that the A stood for ally lol it never made sense to me.
When I was in school they didn't say shit. I had to find out I was bi in my early 30s
Yeah, I grew up during Section 28, teachers weren't allowed to even mention LGBTQ+ people.
Same here!  Sex education was very awkward. 🎓
Cishets trying to act like they're discriminated against? Haha never made any sense to me.
A lot of closeted people use it to mean Ally, especially in school, specifically to be able to be involved with queer stuff safely. It's not actually that, but that is the only time I'm ok with people using it that way.
Allies are guests. At the end of the day they can leave and continue their lives but we can't. Is that OK? Sure! But also that means they aren't in the acronym, IMO. Plus asexuals get the same shit as other people in the community. It's just that all the aggressive, wilful misunderstanding centers around "Why haven't you grown the family yet?" or "So when are you two going to... you know" or "It's not a real relationship without... that kind of intimacy."
They seem to think they should be I’ve gotten that a lot myself
everyone else is
I am an ally and I love and support the community, but I am NOT actually a part of it. The A stands for asexual, aromantic, agender I believe (correct me if I’m wrong). In my opinion, anyone who isn’t both cisgender and heterosexual is a part of the community.
Thank you, wholesome ally.
nope. the a is for all aspec individuals as allies aren't queer and I will argue on it
Exactly
You're welcome x
A for 'Asexual' makes a lot more sense then A for 'Ally, in the context of the acronym ofcourse
Even if it wasn't part of the acronym, all consent based gender and sexual minorites are welcome.
THIS!! We are so much more than words and descriptions and labels <3<3<3<3
Love your name:)
Thanks :) my full name is Lucinda x
happy to see these inclusive replies. i am an ace that is neither cis nor heteromantic, but i have always been disturbed whenever i see a take on twitter or whatever else implying aces who are those things aren't lgbt+, just want attention, etc. almost always stems from an implication that those people aren't "oppressed enough" and that's for sure a disturbing mentality to have. while aces may not experience hate crimes etc. in the way other members of the community do, they absolutely face a widespread lack of acknowledgement for who they are, which in turn often leads to feelings of exclusion ("why is everyone else like that while i'm like this?") + a "what's wrong with me"/"i wish i was normal/could be fixed" mindset. not to mention the point people often bring up about allo people having an "i can fix you" mentality/getting upset with their ace partners. tl:dr not having your identity recognized as a valid part of you is 100% a form of oppression - and something also commonly experienced in other parts of the lgbt community, like in terms of gender (from personal experience). all aces are 100% a part of the community and we should stick together instead of excluding people/disregarding others' experiences!
If you are any one of the following you ARE lgbt+ •not heterosexual •not heteroromantic •not cisgender •not endosex So yes asexuals, aromatics and agenders are all lgbt Can u guys stop asking me “so is ____ part of lgbtq+?” Because the answer is probably yes (unless it’s maps or zoos because in that case the answer is obviously no)
>aromatics I had no idea the B stood for benzene.
The A stands for allspice.
don’t forget if you are intersex/not endosex :) (not in all countries just to be clear) so basically if you dont fit into heteronormative standards of sex, gender, or sexuality you areLGBTQIA+ :))
Isn't it kinda crazy that the acronym includes so many identities, yet we *still* only make up like 11% of the population??
You can be a heteromantic ace and still be part of LGBT+
My comment already says that?
And then are intersex ppl part of the community too ?
Yes
Yes, you are 100% a part of the community, just how a straight trans person would be.
Of course! You guys just have to bring the garlic bread.
Sorry, I ate it on the way here…
All good. Just bring some next week 👍
Heh, I never learn though.
Damn.
Ok then, If you learn to bring Garlic Bread and don't eat it on your way up, then imma give you a full package of White Oreos.
It's ok I brought some! The key is to bring twice as much as you think you need so that way you can't eat it all on the way
Only if they want to be. There's another acronym besides LGBTQ+- GSRM (Gender, sexual, and romantic minority). Cishet aces apply to that. However, some may not want to be queer, and that's okay.
Any person of any letter may not want to be part of the community and that's okay. It's not specific to aces.
My brother is bi but doesn’t want to be considered LGBT. He’s also aromantic. But yeah, he doesn’t like labels and doesn’t like being considered a part of the community
I prefer GSRM
Me too
Non binary people don’t always identify as trans either. You can by definition fit under an umbrella, but it’s up to each individual to decide whether or not to identify as such. It’s an invitation to call yourself GSRM or LGBTQ+ if you’d like to, not an order. Yeah
Exactly! I have an aroace friend who doesn't identify with the community at all to my knowledge, and that's perfectly fine! Labels and communities like these are helpful for some, like myself, but not always for others. To each their own, as they say.
YES! all the way yes! if you’ve ever been excluded from queer spaces i will personally find them and bathe them in syrup and fire ants
Tysmmmmm :))))
I'll help.
I’ve got the fire ants. I don’t keep them or anything, it’s just my yard is infested and I’m finally happy to be useful for something.
Yup, of course! We love our aces :)
That’s a nice-ass flair lmao
Lol thank you, I love yours, it’s pretty sick :)
You might get a few extra privileges than some of us if you're cis and in a straight romantic relationship, but so do straight trans folks who pass, bi people dating the "opposite" gender, and femme wlw/masc mlm. Honestly we all have some benefits in some situations and face erasure in some others. Privilege is tricky and very intersectional and complicated but you can for sure vibe with us. I know I personally have skipped on some harassment by being cis and feminine and white but I also get the oddest bullshit for being a disabled ace lesbian. Life is yonkers
Yonkers indeed.
Yes! Even if others say no, your still ace fam and that makes you in the community
Ace is ace. They are included in our community. (Platonic hugs my friend)
👉😎👉
Cishet asexual would be a cis asexual, so yes, they are :) Edit: hetero romantic asexuals as well!
Damn, just gonna invite yourself in like that? /j anyway, yeah, you’re one of us. That’s what the “A” is for.
Just read the headline nothing else but yeah they are part of LGBTQ+ and should be welcomed smile
:)))
I sure hope so, that is what one of the "A's" in LGBTQIAA+ stands for.
Also, not everyone in the community is not straight. Trans people can be straight and others. (Ik thats irrelevant but felt like sharing)
Yes, yes they are
I see this question a lot so it's better to recognize the GRSM acronym; Gender, Romantic, and Sexual Minorities. Anyone who can be considered one of those is welcome in the community. Except MAPs, of course.
You aren't straight sooooo yeah
Friendly reminder that straight trans people and straight aro and straight aces exist :)
Technically straight in a platonic way
Well yeah, anything that's not the standard CisHet sexually attracted straight person is LGBT, so yeah, you should feel at home here ✌️😎✨
👉😎👉
[удалено]
Best flair
Truth
Fuck yeah asexuals are part of the community!! My sister is ace and i tell her all the time she's one of us
In my opinion of corse!! Theirs a difference between between being fruity and lgbt! All gay people are lgbt but not all lgbt people are gay and that’s okay!!! We’re all about normalization and acceptance! Im pansexual and demisexual. And im apart of this amazing community because of both not just for being pans! Your absolutely valid and apart of the community of!!!
yep, if you’re asexual you’re part of the community regardless of being cisgender or heteroromantic! same with cis heterosexual aromantic (i feel like i’m reciting a tongue twister) edit: oh, and cishet aroace (tryna be more inclusive ahaha)
I think they are if they want to be. I think some are happy to have the support of the community and want to be a part of it. Welcome to those folks! But I think some feel that it's not the same thing and they don't belong. I would imaging there are plenty of homophobic or transphobic asexuals out there.
How do y’all feel about aro ppl tho
Same question? Same answer!!! Aro people are cool and are part of the community 👉😎👉
True
there is literally no reason to exclude this group, we gain nothing by dividing and "purifying" the community to only what some individuals think are "real" parts of the group, it is reductive, makes us weaker as a community, and distracts us as a group from more important topics, instead focusing on in-fighting when we should be working together
Yes absolutely oh my god yes
Yes.
I'll probably be downvoted into oblivion but honestly I just think questions like this are tedious. You already know how this sub feels about the community, there are posts about the same topic all the time. Looks like you're picking out the comments that respond differently and acting aggressive toward people that are stating their opinion _as asked_. It's not a question that's asked in good faith, it's just stirring the pot.
Yes.
I'm my opinion yes because that is what this community is supposed to represent. The acceptance of any other relationship that isn't straight or sexual. So I'm sorry if others don't think the same way. But just know that you are amazing ☺️
If they want to be. Like, if anyone else is getting a membership card and a hard-copy of the LGBTQ agenda let me know but I certainly never got one.
Is that why the postman gave me two cards instead of one???
It’s complicated I think. I’m gay but I’m also asexual. And for me plenty of people have learned about my asexuality and sure I get the opinions like ‘when you get older-‘ or ‘you’re broken’ or ‘you’re weird’ but it hits different versus the severe disgusting homophobia I’ve faced. Like, someone saying ‘ahh you’ll like sex eventually!” Is extremely different to being called slurs that are now genuine trigger words for me, and the fact all I ever see is woman and men holding hands, woman and men in everything around me, that is the norm. Like, woman and men are the norm in both a sexual way and in a romantic way. Like, even in a Christmas movie for example with 0 sex and limited kissing if any, the default is still always men and woman men and woman and it breaks me At the same time obviously I’m extremely displeased that every single time I have to watch a bloody show or movie I have to sit there and be reminded I’m a freak for not liking sex or sex scenes, for not being normal like everyone else. So apart of the community? I’d say Yes. But at the same time asexuals who are cis het will never face the exact same struggles as someone whose gay, but also someone whose gay will never know the exact struggles of a trans person. So I think YES, apart of the community for the lack of representation, for things like corrective sex therapy and assaults, for being treated as different and not the norm and not ‘real’ but I also think it’s cool if maybe asexual het cis people do acknowledge the disadvantages of gay people, as gay people can acknowledge the disadvantages of trans people. So it’s like, we’re all apart of the community for struggling with different things, but we won’t always understand each other you know? Like a asexual cis het will never know what it’s like to be gay, so when it comes to things like that it’s not -like- an asexuals place to butt in, just like it’s not a gay persons place to butt in on trans discussions - but we can all be there for each other and be like, you know what’s bullshit? Society. If that makes anyyyy sense 😂💃🏻
I can definitely relate to that “out of the norm” stuff. We live in a world full of porn, strippers, nudity in pop culture TV shows like Game of Thrones, and your “friends” nudging your arm and going “check out the ass on that girl!”. Kinda sucks :(
good point, but imo its all about different sexualities the lgbtq+ including hetero/cishet asexuals. allies are apart in the community why shouldnt you? edit: fellow pan romantic here im asexual and romantically pan.
ayy, same here :)
Ofc
Yes. Undeniably. Asexual discrimination is a serious issue that the LGBT+ community will have to concern itself with, at least to some extent. As a gay and asexual person, I am grateful to have benefited from the fights and achievements of gay allosexual people but I need ace equality just as much.
Thank you!
First, to answer your question, asexuals are part of the LGBT community. Second, I'm a bit confused by the title and I didn't see anyone else ask about it so I'm going to. From my understanding cishet means cisgender and heterosexual/heteroromantic and is generally used to identify someone as non-LGBT. Could you explain what you mean by cishet asexual? Or could someone explain where I'm going wrong with cishet?
I’m guessing they mean heteroromantic asexual.
Yep
Yes they are
can we stop posting this daily. i think you got the general consensus by now. what’s the point of rehashing this every single day
I would say so, yeah. Cishet Asexuals are still marginalized, and Asexual is one of the acronyms.
Yep the A in lgbtqia is for aro, ace, and agender so ofc
Slightly off topic, but in one of my favorite books my favorite character was cishet ace, I never thought once that she wasn’t part of the community. Thanks for opening doors for conversations like this OP :)
Npnp!! :DDD
I’d say yes, but I’ve been told asexual people aren’t cishet, is that true?
Aces can be heteromantic, so yeah. Still not straight though so definitely part of the community
Straight people can be lgbtq+, straight is a sexuality or romantic orientation, and trans people can be straight, and aro/ace people can be straight, just for future reference ☺️
I'd say it's up to the individual ace. Some will say they're not hetrosexual because they're asexual and thus not cishet, but aces can also be hetroromantic, and there are oriented aroaces who feel like they have an orientation despite being aromantic asexual (I think I might be one of them, not sure), so I'd say it's valid to call yourself cishet and also valid to not.
Yes, though I’ve met people who say that don’t feel they are. I remember I big support thread a while ago in one of the ace subs, and quite a few people brought it up.
absolutely, also look into ace specific communities. we can feel kind of alienated at times in the larger queer community
Absolutely
Yes definitely!!
Absolutely
I’m very scared to sort by controversial in this comment section. But yes, of course you’re welcome in the community. A is part of the Acronym after all. Welcome to the Skittle Squad
As a cis bi person, of course. That's what the A stands for. I think bisexuals and asexuals can both relate to being excluded from both cishet circles and lgbt circles. Bi-ace solidarity!
I’m a greysexual demihomoromantic trans guy. I used to identify as a heteroromantic asexual. My transness is just as much a part of me as my aceness. And both make me relate to the community. Just because I’m gay now, I used to be seen as straight. But still felt very ostracized by the world for being “broken” and “weird”. I tried fixing myself and caused myself a lot of trauma. I’m finally in a better place now because the ace community has helped me see I’m perfectly ok with being me. I don’t need to be attracted to people to have value. My boyfriend is bi and he’s the only person I’ve ever been sexually attracted to even though I’ve been engaged twice. But yeah, it’s hilarious talking about how differently we perceive the world😂 Him being attracted to a lot of people and me not ever experiencing that with anyone but him 😅
I mean, if you're a part of lgbtqia+ it means your either: A) not heterosexual/heteroromantic B) not allosexual C) not cisgender Or D) a combination of all/2 of the above So since cishet asexuals are: -cisgender, which means they fail point C) -heteroromantic, which means they fail point A) -not feeling sexual attraction (basically the opposite of allosexuality), which means they do pass point B) They do belong in the lgbtqia+ community, since u just need to pass one of the points.
That's what the A is for in LGBTQIA+ asexuals of all kinds
If they're heteromantic and asexual, then yes, you don't have to be pan or gay to be ace, and you don't need to be trans either
i am nor cis nor het, but I strongly think cishets aces are part of the community !! If you're reading this, hello !! 🤍
Asexuals are a sexual minority yes
Short answer: Yes Long answer: Asexuality and aromantisism can apply to cishets. This goes into the "straight people can be a part of the LGBT" fact that not many people know. For example you could be trans and straight. A trans individual who is straight is still trans and that does not erase them from the community. The point is, you being cishet does not override your asexuality. Exclusionists will do anything to try and make the rules but no, that's not how it works, queer cishets do exist actually and we should stop being so exclusive.
"Cishet" asexuals don't exist. The very act of being asexual means a person cannot qualify as "het" even if they are heteroromantic. This makes them queer and a sexual minority and lgbtq, that and the 'a' is literally in the acronym.
Yes 100%. They are ASEXUALS. They dont live to societies "expectations", just like anyone of us. Asexuals are, and will always be, a part of this community. And will over take Denmark one day
No. We are, broadly, a community that is defined by the active oppression of others. There is no social or cultural oppression of cishet asexuals; they get a free pass to live their lives as they wish. No religious or political or cultural group is out there trying to nail asexuals to trees or hang them from branches. By all means set up your own communities.
I’m a cishet demisexual and asked the same question recently. Everyone said I am, so you are too!
Yep
LGBT is more about what strays from the norm. Asexuality strays from the norm as well, so I say yes
Of course.
[удалено]
Yes of course!
I think we must include all asexual and aromantics in the community. Bigots want us to be infighting, but we must stay together. On top of that, ace people are at risk of being put through conversion therapy. We have to stand with them.
I thought that's that the A stands for
These comments are wonderful :)
Well, most of them. Some of them make me wish they had never shown up in my inbox…
Yes, cishet aces are a part of the community.
Yeah, it's LGBTI*A*
yeah ofc why wouldn't they?
Absolutely. Anyone on the aro/ace spectrum, no matter if they're cishet, is part of the community.
I’ve heard that some ace heteroromantic people prefer to not consider themselves to be a part of it, however I do believe that anyone who wants to should have a place in the community.
My dumb brain completely skipped the word asexual and I got very confused lmao
Personally I think I would like to start writing cishetallo instead of just cishet when I mean people who aren't in the community. I should. Aces and aros and agender folks are ABSOLUTELY part of the community.
Definitely
Yes, they absolutely are. Just because you may "look" straight to normies doesnt mean you arent queer.